
I’ve had sex with 5 guys behind this tree.

I’ve only had 4.
Later that day, she calls Corey to let him know about Jeremy. Corey says it’s cool and that he remembers him, but he’d like to meet him again if he’s gonna be around the girls. Corey is completely find with it and Leah tries to stir up drama by saying she’s worried it’ll be awkward and asks if he heard about the fact that she’s dating from anyone else. No Leah, the world doesn’t completely revolve around you. He tells her he hadn’t heard anything and she asks if he’s dating and he says he’s dated a few girls.

Hey Corey, just wanted to see if you wanted to talk about me for a while.
End of convo. Once it’s not about Leah she loses interest.
Chelsea is depressed so her friend tells her she needs some help, so Chelsea decides to spend some more of daddy’s money and get therapy. I’ll give her therapy… It will involve an ass—whipping and an eye-opening. Chelsea says that everyone in her family has depression. Fun bunch. Aubree is reading a self-help book in the corner. The ladies decide to try food therapy.

“Anyone seen a brush?”

“I don’t even have a toothbrush”.

Aubree thinks she’s sending out an email asking for a brush. And a bath.
Chelsea must still be working with food therapy, because she and Aubree and Chelsea’s mom are eating out to talk about therapy. Her mom is all for it (more money out of Randy’s pocket). Chelsea says that she’s sick of everyone always thinking that her mood swings revolve around Adam. She has other problems. Like Adam. And then she has to deal with other things. Like Adam. So it’s decided… she’s a nutter.

We all know this is on Randy’s dime.

Grandma, why do you have a nose ring?
Orange Chelsea and her matching orange car get to the shrink’s office. She says she’s skeptical. They talk about Adam and what she liked about him and that he was a jerk. She pretends that she’s trying to stay away from Adam because Aubree is growing up and can talk. She doesn’t mention that if Adam called, she’d be out of that office in 2 seconds. They go into the blame the parents divorce thing, which I find a little numbing, because I think she’s spoiled, not vulnerable. The therapist wants to work on building Chelsea up and getting her some boundaries. She’s given homework to google “boundaries” to learn about it. She’ll probably come back next week with a chain link fence.
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13 Comments
spot on with everything, loved it!
I think some older women can pull off piercings and such but chelseas mom is not one of them… everything she is trying in her look is not happening! But i guess the same thing goes for her daughter too.
SWEATPANTS!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Chelsea maybe you could keep Adam (not sure why you’d want to) if you wore something other than SWEATPANTS!!!!! OMG!!! Who has that many pairs of sweats!!!
And they are never decent sweats they are two sizes too big and droopy in the butt.
I hate it!!!
Rant over
ok…I finished reading and I’ve calmed down.
I love Barb now. It looks like therapy is really helping her which a good thing for Jace. Now her other children are too far gone to save but I’m happy that she’s doing better for Jace. She doesn’t even yell at Jenelle anymore. Just speaks with her calmly even when Jenelle is yelling.
I was so sad when Jenelle left with Josh. If she was going to be in a bad mood she should have let Josh go and sit home with her child, but who am I fooling. This is Jenelle we are talking about.
I was surprised that Jo even gave a slight bit of a fuck about Kail. He didn’t call her a slut or anything. He’s a 19 year old boy so I won’t give him crap about how he tried to console her but at least he did and so snaps for Jo.
@ jp \some older women\ can pull off piercings? I pray that by older women you mean women in their mid 20′s. Grammy with a nipple ring that drags the ground or Aunt Sue with a belly ring that has been lost in the rolls of fat so much so that a metal detector is needed to try to change it out is NOT my idea of hip, cool or sexy. IMO any woman over the age of 30 that decides to pierce anything other than ears – is a screaming mid-life crisis that appears desparate, immature and pathetic. Just one old goats opinion
LOVE how they made Leah \fess up\ about the pre-wedding affair + she instantly said right after \But you know I’d NEEEEVVVEEERRR do that to you\ Bwahhaha. Corey’s dad is a little bitter betty I swear I heard him call Leah a dirty whore (under his breath of course). Also is MTV trying to pull a Bewitched on us as they are switching out Joetta’s just like Darrin’s were switched. Not that Joetta is the star of the show but I swear she looks totally different. Hummmm shenannigans are happening?!?
I think Barb is swiping Janelle’s meds?? As right after Janelle feels she doesn’t need medicated Barb enthusiastically agrees to allow Jace to travel with her and a stranger, out of state for an entire day.
You are spot on with Chelsea is spoiled and that is why she is pissed about the divorce – it is all about what she wants. STUNNED that she did the homework the therapist gave her – we may be on to something here. Hopefully in future episodes the therapist can give her complete your GED homework, bathe yourself and your child regularly homework, purchase on orange hairbrush for your family home – advanced homework.
MTV PR dept has now moved on to Slo Jo as every scene his is in with Issac Hanson – he is father of the year – laughing – playing etc.
Great cap as always!
I had an unhealthy obsession with tanning in college so for me to comment on someone else being orangetastic it has to be pretty severe. It’s par for the course for me to not pay attention to Chelsea’s scenes because it’s always the same thing and I find more entertainment in playing circus themes in my head, but this time I was distracted for an entirely different reason….THE COLOR OF HER FACE. The color of her face could be its own person.
Hey y’all… check out my Cheer Perfection recap too… It was just posted on the recap page. As always, thanks for all your comments.
By far the best recap ever! I come from a family where great sarcasm is truly considered an art form. However, you would give even the most talented of my relatives a run for their money! Any recap you write, I’m reading! Thanks for the laughs today!!!!
@betsy – we might be related… bc our family is a tough crowd too… it was always hard the first time we would bring home a significant other, bc if they didn’t have thick skin, they would be eaten alive… Thx for reading.
Right before I got to your comment I totally thought of the same thing about Dee and It’s Always Sunny. Love that show and that episode. You know what they say, great minds think alike – or at least watch the same shows!
I think Corky should have let Janelle leave by herself, so he and Jace could have a play date. Not only are they mental equals, Corky had more concern for Jace’s well being in this one episode, than his mother has since his birth.
Awesome recap as usual, Madelyne27. I am so looking forward to reading your Cheer Perfucktion recaps.
When I watched the therapy session, I actually thought Oompa Loompa was getting oranger as the session went on. Is that possible? Maybe I just wasn’t paying real close attention to Oompa when it started. Even Carrot Top shrieks “Damn, baby! You’re orange!”
O my sweet baby Jesus, Chelsea drives me insane this season. She is such an entitled and spoiled brat. I found it hilarious that when she was whining to her mom about how everyone thinks she is upset only because of Adam, her mom mentioned that she is probably stressed out about school. That girl cares about NOTHING else besides Adam, tanning, giving herself horrible hairdos, and adding to her never ending collection of Wal-Mart sweatpants.
On a lighter note, I think Slo Jo and Corey are pretty great dads. I know Slo Jo is a mama’s boy who lives off of his parents, but I would much rather have someone like that for an ex than some of the other shit head dads on here. And Corey seems to be very involved with his children, and shows respect toward their mother.
@Classy- Right? I thought the same thing. If Chelsea wore something other than her father’s sweat pants, maybe Adam would’ve stuck around. But why anyone would want him to stick around is beyond me!
I think I figured out why Aubree’s hair looks as asstacular as it does. Chelsea is trying to get her to look like her. Don’t be surprised if she starts shelacking her in baby bronzer one day.
At first I felt bad for Jenelle, way back when. Now I feel nothing but disgust and annoyance. She is completely useless. I bet when she found out she was pregnant the only reason she didn’t ‘fix it’ was because she thought it’d be fun to be pregnant. That or she didn’t want to part with her weed money.
@SarahRita-I’m gonna have to agree. Slo Jo may be an ass, but he does seem to be a decent father, especially in comparison to other dads on this show (or any of the other teen mom shows). He might be over his relationship w/Kail, but he does seem to care about the mother of his son, otherwise he wouldnt have tried to comfort her….even if it was in a douchey way.
Now Corey seems like a good dad. You can see how he cares about his daughters. Of all the dads, I’d say he’s the best one.