Teen Mom 2 Recap: Falling

We’re going to dive right in, because it was a ‘special’ 90 minute Teen Mom 2 last night, and even typing that incites my ire.  A double episode and a 90 minute episode, and yet this entire season until LAST WEEK, was made of nothing but air and hair.  Essentially, MTV wasted our time when clearly there was enough interesting stuff that could have been going on all along.  Seriously, the footage of the past couple of weeks could have been four awesome episodes if MTV would give more than twenty minutes to the editing team every week.  My suspicions about the editing team on Teen Mom 2 are that there are three of them, they’re interns from Penn State, and they smoke more weed than Jenelle and Keiffer combined.  Believe me, if I can spot these inconsistencies, they are glaring.  I can never even see the naked people in vodka ads, and it’s always bummed me out.

 Jenelle

Jenelle definitely wins this week for the most suspected recreated scenes.  She’s on probation for a year and that means she’s sol for hanging out with any of her dirtbag friends, including Keiffer.  She’s staying with Bar, and it’s tense.  Barb shows us how tense when she inexplicably starts dropping f-bombs on Jenelle and I’d say maybe 7 seconds after the Previouslies, we’re already in the midst of Jenelle and Barbara screaming at each other.  The important thing to note here is that when Barb hustles Jace out of the house for the day, she is wearing her signature blue shit tucked into Mom Jeans.  Jenelle’s wearing a tye-dyed hoodie, and these are important to note for later, since the editing is the only thing really notable here, except how Jenelle and Barb are fighting with each other through the baby monitor.

Note this outfit.

 After Barb and Jace leave for the day, Jenelle calls Keiffer.  She breaks it down pretty quickly that this is a breakup call.  It’s so low energy.  I really thought that the opposite was true, that if you quit smoking pot, you become less of a zombie, but Jenelle is more of a zombie now.  And that, mi amigos, makes me think she’s riding rails a lot more than she’s ripping bongs.  She can’t hang with him, she can’t get baked, and pretty much everything Jenelle wants to do on any given day is exactly what will land her in jail.  If she goes to jail, she won’t see Jace.  I call bullshit.  She always says this Jace Jace Jace junk and it’s just not true.  She never ACTS on her lip service to wanting time and a bond with Jace.  I totally believe she says it because she thinks that’s what people want to hear.  This is not a maternal girl and that lack of instinct is complicated by the fact that her mother took over completely.

She only has Barb to talk to right now, and in a kitchen klatch with her mom, Jenelle finally thinks about getting some help.  She tells Barb she’s depressed, now that she’s not smoking weed… which…. Is a depressant…. Whatever.  It’s Jenelle.  It is not going to make sense.  She’s a sociopath so it’s all backwards.  Weed makes her happy; not smoking makes her sad pants.  Barb tells her that Jace is taken care of, so she should go take care of herself now.  It’s so freaking fake though, I can hardly stand it.  There is no way that this scene isn’t a recreation.  Stilted, Barb being sensitive about Jenelle’s perceived dependence on pot, all of it.  All of it feels so fake.  Especially the whole, ‘I’m so depressed now that I’m not puffing on a depressant every single day,’ part.  I mean, maybe there’s not a raging coke problem here, but I maintain that burners are lovers, not fighters.  It’s the coke jokers you have to look out for in life.  Stoners just want to play some video games and buy some Def Leopard tee shirts.  I will personally send a dollar bill to the first commenter who nails that reference!

Let’s get you into rehab so I can get back to getting my ass kicked by 14 year olds in Call of Duty.

 Since she has no coping skills except to roll a fattie and watch Animal Planet with her stanky boyfriend who she just dumped, she goes to meet with her attorney to find out if she can go to rehab, scotch-free of course.  She wants to get away since all of her friends, her boyfriend, and her recreational drug use are off limits now.  She can’t deal with her stress.  And honestly, who could?  Who on Earth could deal with having a nice place to live and a cute baby that you get to spend all kinds of time with because you don’t have to spent a stone cold third of your life in a fucking cubicle solving other people’s problems?  It’s must be so stressful to be Jenelle Evens.

White Gurl, Please.

Jenelle goes to the boardwalk to meet up with her friend Amber.  Change Cup Amber.  On and on she goes about the over-whelmed and the lonely and the blah blah blah.  If there was a heavy Northern valley Girl accent here, I’d think we were in a Chelsea scene.  Instead, we get into the evening’s PSA.  Tonight, it’s about the reality of marijuana addiction.  Some people say you can’t get addicted but you can.  Stopping weed is hard.  The major boyfriend of my life, a guy I was with for many years in my twenties, quit smoking pot for while in the mid-nineties, before I rolled into his life.  He kept a journal that he called ‘Quit Chronic.’  The QC updates in that journal were legit hilarious, and it turns out that cigarettes and Quake will serve to end your 1996 ganja addiction in about two days.  I was still in college in 1996, and had no intentions of QC, but trust me when I tell you that I  could have majored in gravity bong construction and I can say in no uncertain terms that quitting chronic is not a physical dependency situation.  It’s a coping situation for Jenelle and if she really believes that she needs to self-medicate to have any control over her emotions then I hope she gets whatever is up with her treated.

Sure, go to rehab for your raging weed addiction, but I hope you make amends to our change cup.

She makes a pro/con list and there really aren’t any cons except the lip service she gives to missing Jace.  She had no problem with missing Jace when she chose to live in her car, but she has a problem with it when she’s voluntarily seeking to go to rehab?  Lip service, that’s what I call it!  Amber remarkably doesn’t punch Jenelle in the face for being so annoying and just kind of agrees with her that if she needs outside help to quit chronic, then she should go to rehab.  I’m telling you though, she could do this with a Gameboy and some carton of Camel Lights.  Just load up a Zelda game and chain smoke your way through the weed DTs.  Only there is no such thing as weed DTs.  So really, I mean to say ‘go get help for your raging cocaine problem before you burn through all of the MTV money and Jace has no college fund’.

She meets back up with her attorney, and he tells her that he found a program for her and they have a scholarship for her.  WTF?  Did she already burn through the MTV money?  Is pot that pricey these days?  I’ve heard it’s improved but is it really ever going to be a drug that leaves you without thousands of dollars and homeless?  They’re both looking forward to Jenelle having some better skills with which to cope with the terms of her probation.  Given what we know to have happened, she went to the wrong rehab facility because homegirl just keeps getting arrested for assault lately.  Clearly she didn’t get the right help for her weed addiction and now is just another violent marijuana offender.  IT’S COKE ALREADY.  Jeeez, MTV.  There’s deter, and there’s mythologize.  Jenelle’s story is becoming more and more fantastic every week and MTV is more to blame here than in the Amber Portwood case if you ask me.  Amber didn’t walk around like a ticking time bomb.  Delusional, yes but her delusions were related to two things: 1.  Prescription drugs; 2.  What I suspect was a volatile, unstable childhood.

This is a girl who seems to have no idea how deep in life she is right now.

This is a girl who seems to know exactly what crappy choices she’s making and makes them anyway.

Jenelle may have had Barb’s noise, bluster, and co-dependence but she had miles’ more opportunity in life than Amber did.  Jenelle chooses to be a burned out asshole and MTV not only films it, but I would not even be surprised if there’s a  way bigger problem here.  No other MTV show condones violence the way Teen Mom 2 does.  You could argue Jersey Shore but those kids are older.  They are young adults.  These kids are teenagers.  No matter how together they seem, no matter what consent form they signed, they are children.  Ostensibly, the show is about kids who have babies, right?  But Jenelle’s story has just become drugs, violence, consequences, and lip service to missing a child she had when she was 17 but never was responsible for and never bonded to as a parent.  That’s it.  She should have been cut, and she should have been removed from the show.

While she’s packing for rehab, she and Barb are wearing the exact same outfits as they were in the first scene for her.  Recreation.  Eff off MTV.  I do not trust you anymore at all.  She has a cast or something on her left arm as she finishes up packing and switches off the light to walk into the living room and join Barb on the couch…. Where they are both suddenly in different outfits and there is no cast or bandage on her arm.  Boom.  Do I have to keep going with this charade?  Ugh.  For you, Teen Mom Nation, for you.  As my ultra Catholic Grandma, Mary Catherine Doty would say, “Offer it up.”  I’m offering it up, y’all.

Same outfit, only it’s supposed to be 4 am weeks after the first segment.  Uh-huh.

Barb’s enjoying a nice glass of red wine and they realize that they have to get up super early, like 4 am early, so it’s off to bed…. But then super early the next day (allegedly), they’re back in their same clothes, with the blue shirt and the Mom Jeans and the tie dye for their goodbyes.  Barb will miss Jenelle, but not the drama!  Gosh, even when Jenelle was saying goodbye to Jace, it was wooden and covered in honey that’s too runny or something.  I hope that’s a product of Jenelle’s crappy acting moreso than a product of how much she’s not bonded to that baby.  She catches her early morning cab, and it’s off to California, where I wish we knew that rehab helped her… but we’ll probably have to wait for Dr. Drew to be a dick to her about how she didn’t learn anything or, maybe he’ll pull his classic tactic of reinforcing to her that she’s right, and everyone around her causes her problems.  Can’t wait.  <– Lying.

Kailyn

Kailyn cheated!  OMG OMG OMG!

Jo appealed the child support ruling, but it’s not gone anywhere and they’re getting along better.  He spends a ton of time in the studio on weekends, working on his rhymes, so he’d like to switch things up a bit and get some weekday time with Little I.  I wonder what’s Jo’s rap name?  My dog’s is Li’l Ro Ro.

Jordan comes over later, and he’s looking way less Amish since he shaved his head.  Poor kid though.  His head is shaved, but he’s in way over it regardless of hairstyle.  He doesn’t want Jo around during the week while he’s not around.  He says that he felt like a third wheel on the Baby Daddy Meet ‘N Greet day.  He felt like a third wheel because he’s the biggest child up in this, and Isaac still wears diapers so that’s saying a lot, it really is.  He’s worried that even if she doesn’t want to be with Jo, there are feelings and feelings can lead to her hooking up with Jo if (when) things go a little too far.  Perceptive, but still distrustful.  Dismissed.  Now it’s even more in her head, silly Jordan.  She gets instantly defensive, and counters that she’s never seen Isaac and Jo together, either so it was new to her as well.  While they hug it out, what she doesn’t say is that it was new to her, and she looooooved it.  In fact she loved it so much that she’s starting to feel that old cape magic for her boi, Jo.

Jordan’s not looking so Amish anymore.

Jo comes over on the next Wednesday and they hug hello, so on a show as crappily edited as this one, I’ll take it as foreshadowing.  As they settle in to play with Isaac, she asks about his love life; well, probably the producers tell her to ask about his love life.  She mentions his groupie and he teases her about being jealous.  She teases back about him being heartless and then things get weird.  Finally!  He sits next to her on the couch and tries to get her to reach inside and feel his very much beating heart.  Jo has some moves – who knew?  When he lays those moves on Kail though, she tenses up like the diamonds are nowhere near the soles of her shoes unless she’s sitting on the floor, since they are all lodged firmly in her ass.  And, cue exit.  But not before she accidentally says she loves him, and it’s far less awkward than that one time when Jordan and Jo met, and they all hung out, and Jordan hid behind a big plastic baby truck.

It’s a few days later, or more likely a whole year later given the filming schedule on this show and she can’t get Jo out of her head.  Jo goes to hang out with his brother, Jr and Jr’s got a Giants hat on.  Congrats, on your win, Giants!  Maybe people will finally take Eli Manning seriously for a change.  Jr asks about child support and where things are.  Jo confesses that he’s going to let it go, that it’s not worth the time or money to fight it.  He doesn’t see the money, since it’s taken out of his pay, so it’s not that big of a deal and it is also the right thing to do.  Jo strikes me as a kid who has a lot of ego and pride, but who really does do the right thing and prides himself in it.  he says that he likes how well he and Kail are getting along, and Jr brings up ‘more than friends.’  They’ll always have a connection and chemistry, but they don’t know yet that you can have wonderful, intimate friendships with people who you love and yet still have a big healthy relationship with your current partner as well.

Mark!  More Mark on my MTV!

Kail goes to her confidante, Mark.  Mark is one of the Mark & Mark movers who we all thought were so cool, and Mark does not disappoint here, either!  He shows Kail video of Jo’s rapping and they agree that he’s got flow, he does his thing.  “Would you go see him in the club?”  “He does his thing…”  Mark’s not quite ready to get in on the ground floor and be one of Jo’s early fans.  Kail tells Mark that she still likes Jo ‘like that.’  She knows she’s young, and she knows she’s confused, and she knows that she and Jordan are just starting out, just starting to really get to know each other.  Mark reminds her that Jo’s her baby-daddy.  She’ll always have a connection.  Hmmmm… how convenient that they’re getting the same feedback from their trusty advisors.

Kail does need to fill Jordan in on the fact that Jo is going to be over every Wednesday hanging out with Isaac.  Why can’t Jo take Isaac somewhere, that’s what I want to know.  Or why doesn’t he stay with Jo for a Wednesday and Kail gets him back the next day?  Isn’t the standard 1980s agreement Wednesday nights and every other weekend?  Jordan just doesn’t trust her.  I imagine Kail’s not into being patient about this with Jordan, mostly because she’s more into Jo at the moment than she is into Jordan, and Jordan is not helping his case in the least here.  He doesn’t want Jo around when he’s not there.  Kail points out that she has never given Jordan a reason to not trust her, but she doesn’t mention all that chemistry she and Jo were oozing at each other right in front of Jordan and how it seemed like she paid more attention to Jo than to Jordan.  They hug it out, because what else really is there to do here.  I mean, they’re gonna be waiting out the end of things anyway, so they might as well do it with a hug.

This is what a hug looks like when you’re 97% sure one of you is about to cheat and/or end things.

Another Wednesday, another date with Jo.  I mean another visit from Jo.  This time, they give baby a bath and enjoy spending time with him together.  It’s got to emotionally a land mine here.  You can’t help but love your baby-daddy and have those feelings of wanting a family unit to be complete.  I shit you not, my parents got back together at least four times.  They spend some time making cute baby memories, luckily all captured on camera.  They get him ready for bed and tell Humpty Dumpty to him together which is beyond cute.

Am I a cock-eyed optimist for wanting this little family to work out in the end?  I mean, I know my name is actually Sunni Sideup, and that’s no accident but still… they both work really hard to be dependable, solid people.  It’s hard to not like them, even though they’re relatively boring.  

Later on, as she’s sprawled on her bed, he tells her that he’s dropping the child support appeal…. and with that super sexy information, he asks if she wants him to stay, and she nods her head yes.  The bedroom door closes and unfortunately for the drama factor, Jordan does not show up at some point in the night.  It seems like he has a key to her place, and that is such a rookie mistake.  If you’re gonna cheat, call your boyfriend to tell him you’re not feeling well and you’re turning in early.  Duh.

Chelsea

Every single one of Chelsea’s segments starts with her mentioning Adam.  Every. Single. One.  It’s irritating.  There’s no sign of Adam, but she’s looking for a GED class, so probably everyone in Chelsea’s life who cares about her is lighting candles and holding breath and whatever else it is people do when they see their loved one is maybe coming out of an addictive co-dependent relationship based on low self-esteem and perceived loneliness.  Her friend Erika and she cuddle on the couch and look at the online information for the GED.  Chelsea feels like she’ll be fine with the reading and writing since she talks good.  Math, on the other hand, sucks ass.  Chelsea can’t talk good on any planet, but at least she recognizes that she’s almost 20 and she needs to get herself together already, go to beauty school and be somebody.

Adam’s still in the back of her mind (told’ja), but she’s pretty sure she’s going to do this GED program she found online.  She’s hanging out at Randy’s sprawling South Dakota manse and telling him of her plans.  He’s impressed, and finally, she’s not all talk!  She produces from her bag of tricks, a leopard print checkbook, and proceeds to write the first check of her entire life.  I’d give her technology, and online banking but chances are 100% that Chelsea has never written a check because she’s never done anything financial for herself in her life except buy Starbucks and tanning packages on the pre-paid debit card that Randy hands her every two weeks.  He’s thrilled she wrote this first check, but it’s kinda sad that she’s 20 and he’s just gotten her to the point that she can write a check.  Baby steps for Chelsea are on a curve, I guess.

I bet Randy’s thrilled this is all captured on camera.  It’s proof to the extended family that Chelsea really did pay him, on a real, legal albeit leopard print, check.

Year Round Brown.  It’s like the ‘Cheers’ of this show.  You wanna go where everybody knows your name (and your bed setting)?  Year Round Brown.  When (any given young girl) Megan walks in, the whole staff is always like, “Megan!”  And then she pulls up and starts complaining about her boyfriend that we’ve never seen, and how she met him frolicking in the Greek islands, but now she’s just an uptight waitress.  In Vermillion, so she has a baby.  She hasn’t heard from Adam… DUN DUN DUN… until he calls right as she’s leaving work.  “Can I get Aubree Friday?”  He’s so unpleasant.  She tells him that he can’t get Aubree when his parents aren’t around, and he proceeds to sling curse words and name-calling at her.  She remarkably doesn’t react.  Are things looking up for our heroine of bad hair and tanning?

She head to her mom’s to have some take-out and get Aubree.  She tells her mom about the call, and her mom agrees that Adam shouldn’t be trusted with Aubree by himself.  Hello?  And you want him back?!  Chelsea even goes so far as to say that Aubree cries every time Adam is holding her.  I mean, she has a warning size that’s as big as any Vegas billboard, but she apparently is going to need to have the light from Luxor pointed directly into her eyes, like a Bat Signal of how abusive her punk-ass ex-boyfriend/baby daddy is.    You had his baby, now you deal with it.  But no, she tells her mom about the GED and how it breaks down, adding in that she wants to stay focused but Adam can be distracting.  Her mom, meanwhile, is trying to hide how super she sweaty she is worrying about Chelsea’s potential back-slide into spending all her time mooning over Adam.

She says she’s studying (as usual) but her face says she’s got Adam on the brain (as usual).

Chelsea and super preggo Megan 1.0 go to the GED center and she meets with a counselor while Megan plays with Aubree.  Basically, it all breaks down in to five separate sub-tests.  Chelsea can take a practice test for each one, and a real test for each one IF she passes the practice test.  If she doesn’t she may want to take the study class for the sub-test.  Chelsea decides to try the test, so Aubree stays with mom while Chelsea spends the night hitting the books.  Or bed, because she’s tired, but whatever.

Daddy Megan’s so super preggo!  

It turns out to not matter, because she takes her first practice test, and she passes!  I am truly surprised.  I was expecting sad face music there, to be honest.  She’ll take the real one on Friday; her mom’s excited, but Chelsea still has a few more tests to do before she earns her GED.  Even so though, she and her mom are happy that she’ll earn her GED and Aubree will be able to point to Chelsea’s GED with pride someday.  Need I say more here?

Leah

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire and where there’s fire, there’s runny eye make-up.  Yes, Leah’s pre-wedding cold feet led her straight to the same place they lead many about to be marrieds – to the ex’s warm, but lascivious bed.  It was before the wedding, by like a week.  And Leah wasn’t getting any warm tender loving from Corey, so she was worried that it was going to be a cold bed for the rest of her life.  You can’t blame the super young girl for freaking out there; however, it was a dumb ass thing to not tell Corey, especially when she already had cold feet and wanted to slow things down, camo-themed wedding-wise.

Corey confronts her and she’s honest with him, but the make-up is a’runnin’ and it really does turn into a country song while ol’ boy goes through all of the hollow-voiced questions.  “Did you wear your ring? Did you think about me?  Do you get it?  I wanted you to be IT.”  She says that she didn’t know how much marriage would mean to her, and that she never looked back after they got married, she never thought twice about if she’d made the right choice.  In other words, she was far too young to know what she was doing and to be able to negotiate the complications of her choices… and she knew it going in hence the massive error in judgment.  Where the hell was THIS all season???  Not for all North Carolina would I believe that MTV didn’t have tons of great footage of this story-line, and instead, we got a few shots of a birthday party crammed in next to Christmas?  Foul, MTV, foul ball.  We could have had a lot more Corey tears and a lot let Corey truck this season, so watch your back, MTV, because Teen Mom Nation is on to your shenanigans.

Corey tears!

She and the girls move over to her mom’s because her new place isn’t ready to move into yet, but she hasn’t mentioned to her mom she cheated on Corey with Robbie.  Again.  Leah is so gonna be one of those chicks who is never single for more than eight minutes at a time.  Take a break girl.

Instead, she’s launched a Campaign of Reunion with calls to Corey’s unanswered phone.  The calls, and you’ve gotten them or you given them, don’t try to play like you haven’t, start out reasonably, like “Heeeey, just… callin’ ya…” and then move into wheedling, “… but you’re not answering, and I wish you’d just answer?  Please?  Don’t you love me?  Just call me back, okay? What if something happened to you?  I hope you’re okay.  I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you, but call me back,” to baby-voiced victim, “I    love    you   “

Phone Campaigns to get your man always work.

Meanwhile, Corey rolls up to his dad’s place, and we get a shot of his erstwhile truck.  It wouldn’t be Teen Mom 2 if we didn’t get to see that truck, man.  He brings his dad up to speed and his dad’s appalled.  His dad does ask if it was before the wedding or after, and Corey admits it was after.  He also explains that she felt like she didn’t have anyone to talk to when they were fighting a lot.  His dad takes it all in, but moves Corey to the D-word pretty quickly.  He points out that Corey will never trust her, and that whenever she goes to get her nails done, or goes tanning, he’ll be wondering what she’s really doing.  Well, the tanning one is a bad example because that girl is basketball-colored.  I am pretty sure she wouldn’t skip tanning for Justin Timberlake, let alone for a high school boyfriend named Robbie.   But Corey’s upset and when his dad offers to hook him up with the divorce attorney that he used in the past, Corey’s whole body just kind of freezes when he says exactly what we all know he’s feeling: “I can’t believe it came down to this.”

You’ll never trust her when she says she’s going tanning… wait… that’s the one thing we ALL know that Leah never skimps on.  So never mind.  You’ll never trust her when she says she’s going to work, which is the one thing we know Leah doesn’t do much of.

What a surreal ride for them.  Here are these two kids in decently small-town West Virginia and in under two years, they have twins, they have a very adult marriage, they have been on two shows on MTV, they’re getting divorced… it’s staggering.  In under two years I worked at my same job, drove my same car, petted my same dog, and dated the same two guys I always date.  Oh, I did do a TRX competition.  That was cool.  And I am a better speller lately.  How do you spell relief?  D-i-v-o-r-c-e.

Leah hangs with her bestie, Kayla and confesses the cheating.  Wow.  That’s commitment to a secret if your homegirl doesn’t even know.  she says that there was just so much fighting and she was really worried that he didn’t want her, plain and simple.  Why she went through with the wedding is beyond me, but then again, she did try to get out of it, and maybe she just felt like it was the right thing to do, and only after it was done did she realize she was into it and liked being married with a little family.  It’s pretty much the same way she fell into motherhood, and she’s a champ at motherhood, so it’s reasonable.

They’re texting but they’re not talking.  Long story short, he says no when she asks if he loves her, and then he tells her he got an attorney, or as Leah calls it, a LAW-Yur.  Laaaaaaaaaaw-yur.  She’s going to have to lawyer up in the morning, and not it’s all for realsies.  She thinks Corey is being irrational and moving too fast, that they could try counseling or something since they are married, not just dating.  At this point, these two need to have a long talk about timing.  You can’t be mad at him for dragging feet in one place and chastising him to get a move on it, and then be upset when he gets a move on it, but the next big thing to move on is hiring a divorce attorney.

Oh Honey, no.

Leah is sitting on the porch when her mom comes out to check in with her.  Leah finally breaks down and tells her mom everything.  The cheating, the fighting, the nervousness about getting married to Corey in the first place.  Her mom asks her why she did it, why she got married, that is and she says she knew in her heart that she loved Corey and her family.  Her mom tells her that she’s not proud of what anyone did in this situation – not Corey and not Leah and lastly (obviously) not Robbie.  She loves them, but she understand who they are.  I really love that, too by the way.  Leah’s mom said it so well: “I love you, but I understand who you are.”  She tells Leah she and the girls are welcome for as long as they need to stay, that it’s their home too.

This was actually a cool scene.  I’ll allow it.

Leah takes the next day off, which by my calculations is maybe the fifth day she’s ever worked.  She and Lee Google laaaaaaaaaaw-yurs while one of the babies drinks some Pepsi.  I wish I was kidding, but I grew up in a part of the country where young mothers often drawl to young waitresses, “Could yew jest fill Junyer’s bottle with Pepsi please?  Tha-aynks.”  Is it funny or sad?  She is already launching into “I’m Keeping My Girls” mode.  No shit, Leah, but don’t let them see the footage of the baby drinking soda is all I’m saying here.

They land in the very fancy office of one Miss Very Fancy Lawyer.  Leah’s worried that Corey’s already filed for divorce and is already seeking custody of the kids.  While the attorney is explaining to Leah that since she is the primary care-giver to the babies, she will likely retain primary custody of them.  While Lee and Leah chew on this, the lawyer goes to check to see if Corey has filed a petition yet.  It turns out he hasn’t, and things get a little pushy all of a sudden.  In the blink of an unsmeared but heavily made-up eye, her lawyer’s got a petition drawn up and ready to file.  She tells Leah that Leah wants to be the driver of the divorce, not the passenger.  It might be true, but man it’s hardcore.  She’s almost not ready, but Lee reminds her that if Corey is done, than she has to move on this and be in charge of it.  So, she signs.  She’s convinced Corey’s going to do it anyway, and as Lee reminds her, she is the mom.  She has to make aggressive choices sometimes to take care of her kids.  Later on in the car, poor Leah just deflates and sighs that she can’t believe it came to divorce either.

You are either driving the bus, or you are a passenger.  You need to be the driver here.

It’s so sad.

One more episode!  And a Dr. Drew Reunion that I’ll likely be too wacked out on knee surgery to do – don’t worry, you’ll be covered.  I would never leave the Teen Mom Nation without a place to dis on Dr. Drew.  It’s honestly one of my passions in life.

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