Teen Mom 2 Recap: Season 4 Is Upon Us

35 Comments

1. 1
   LadyStardust
   Posted February 21, 2013 at 4:17 pm

   Awesome recap as usual.

   Does anyone else find it a little funny when Rapper Jo rolls up in his Corolla? Where is his pimpin’ Escalade or whatever “rappers” drive? I guess he has to drive whatever his momma buys him. I guess his rap career hasn’t really taken off.

   I thought the same thing when I saw Chelsea’s hair. What the hell is she going to do in beauty school?

   Oh, and a few things about IUD-gate (I have an IUD and I read tons of medical studies and research on it before I got it):

   -An IUD can’t technically “fall out”. You also can’t push it out by using the bathroom (otherwise there would be lots of spontaneous early childbirths while women were on the toilet). HOWEVER, it can expel. Expulsion is when your uterus rejects the IUD as a foreign object and basically pushes it out on it’s own. There is about a 3-10% chance that your IUD can expel – usually it happens within the first few months. A lot of it also depends on various circumstances: if you’ve given birth recently, the size of your uterus, placement issues, etc. So that COULD have happened to Chelsea. Or she could have tugged on the strings too hard somehow (got them wrapped around a tampon and pulled or something like that to dislodge it). That’s also pretty rare, but possible.

   But has Chelsea never heard of Plan B? If I thought for a second that I might have gotten knocked up again by that smarmy little asshole, my ass would be down at Walgreens buying Plan B. I think Chelsea doesn’t really care if she got pregnant again because she thinks she can reel Adam back in if she had 2 of his kids. Now as to WHY she would want freeloading, scrawny, Chicklet-toothed Adam is a mystery.

2. 2
   kaviar
   Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:25 pm

   Oh, I absolutely think Chelsea would love nothing more than to get pregnant by Adam again. In her sick, immature mind, she thinks it might reel him in. Plus, added bonus, she might be able to sit around on her butt another two years with a new baby to raise. Randy is an enabler and her should have kicked her butt a long time ago. I feel sorry for Aubrey. Especially having to listen to Chelsea’s shrill baby talk voice.

3. 3
   ase
   Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:20 pm

   hilarious captions! all of them were spot on!

   it’s been years and years since i’ve had braces, but do people typically “play” with them as much as leah does? it’s so distracting!

4. 4
   JudgyWudgy
   Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:25 pm

   In the scene with Adam and his buddies you can see my old workplace behind them on one side of the street and my old apartment on the other (yep, I was THAT girl who lived right across from her workplace). Why, WHY does it have to be THOSE scenes where I see my old stomping grounds?

5. 5
   JudgyWudgy
   Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:29 pm

   Ah! I hadn’t even been to page 3 when I posted that. Behind Marty & Pete (bahaha). I worked there! (said in the tone of Will Ferrell’s Elf when he knows Santa).

6. 6
   Catherine
   Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:41 pm

   @ladystardust— I thought the same plan b thing. Wtf.

7. 7
   considerthis
   Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:53 pm

   Day old reheated Pizza and Blue Ring Pops are GOOD food! Obviously Chelsea’s nutrional priorities for her daughter match her hygene priorities.

   It’s a shame they had to edit for time constraints but what MTV failed to show was the not only did the IUD fall out of Chelsea but so did 5 class rings, Adam’s ATV spare tire, Randy’s dental drill and Frankie’s old nylabone.

8. 8
   begonia skies
   Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:59 pm

   i wanted to punch leah so hard when she was talking to corey about how she needed to know if she should move on or not. and i wanted to kiss corey when he said “you’ve moved on, you’re engaged!” i also thought it was hilarious when he was saying “jeremy’s a good guy…like a really good guy…i like him a lot…” i think corey was crying when he found out leah was preggo cause he was jealous of leah not jeremy.

9. 9
   kthxbai
   Posted February 21, 2013 at 8:20 pm

   I really like Kail’s Megan Mark.

   But seeing somebody that likeable and grounded on this show makes me feel like I’ve got little cognitive dissonance gnats flying around my eyes. It reminds me of that old “one of these things is not like the others” cartoon.

   You keep expecting them to run a retraction saying he was there working lights. And ended up getting put on camera by accident when he was on break.

10. 10
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 9:13 pm

    @LadyStardust: YES! I had that happen to me. My uterus expelled my IUD. Like, really hard. They were calling me “.44 magnum uterus” down at the gyno’s office. But I never did any research or anything on it, so I didn’t know that it was, like, a thing. I can see now that maybe it wasn’t Chelsea’s fault. I mean, that hair of hers is clearly an act of cruel nature–nobody would do that to themselves on purpose–so, shit just happens sometimes, amiright?

11. 11
    Nik
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 3:13 am

    @considerthis I just peed my pants.

    Chelsea really is as dumb as a box of hammers. Seriously where is her self worth??? That text message he sent to her in her 16 and pregnant ep was enough to make me never have anything to do with him again but she keeps going back. Why???? WHY???? She makes my head hurt. And I just pray for the day Papa Randy actually slaps her stupid face to snap her out of it.
    There’s been some douchelords on these shows but for me Adam is the ultimate, because he actually knows he’s a douche and he likes it

12. 12
    Lisa
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 6:30 am

    Love Love Love Javi!! Now if he would just get in pissed off bird man’s face, that would be hilarious!

    I also laughed out loud at @considerthis comment

    yes, Adam is a douche. reminds me of the douche on Teen Mom one………. Maci’s baby daddy I think.

13. 13
    yeknom
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 7:22 am

    @Lisa, Maci’s baby daddy was a douche, but Adam is far worse. Adam knows that Chelsea would get back together w/him so he gives her just enough hope (by randomly hooking up w/her) to keep her there on the side when he cant find anyone else to fall victim to his charm, which I just dont get. At least Maci’s baby daddy was easier on the eyes, if nothing else.

    Chelsea makes me want to shake some sense into her. When your friends are that horrified that you had sex with you loser ex, at least take the proud of yourself smirk off your face. The only reason that she’s not going to worry about being pregnant is because as long as she doesnt know that she’s not, she can have her fantasy of happily every after w/Adam. Such a sad sad girl she is.

    Yeah I love Javi too. I liked that he told Kail that they were both wrong. Between him and Mark, Kail actually has sensible people in her life which is nice. I think the only reason she’s so upset about Vee is because she’s so afraid that SloJo having a girlfriend and a big family will make Isaac love them more then her. It’s sad really, because you can see that kid adores her and the size of the family she has won’t matter to Isaac.

    Jenelle….I cant even comment on. The whole thing makes me so sad for Jace.

    My heart goes out to Leah re her miscarraige, but dammit, maybe figure out what & who you want before rushing into a whole other relationship. These girls need to learn that it’s ok to be by yourself for a while and being in a relationship for the wrong reasons is much worse than being alone for the right.

14. 14
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 8:45 am

    @ Lady Stardust
    ” Or she could have tugged on the strings too hard somehow (got them wrapped around a tampon and pulled or something like that to dislodge it). That’s also pretty rare, but possible.”

    Strings!?! Ok I feel very dumb now, because I previously posted that Mirena IUDs don’t have strings (i didnt see strings on mine!!). I love mine, and would die if it fell out.

15. 15
    Madelyne27
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 9:33 am

    @considerthis – you win. bestest estest comment ever.

16. 16
    snowshoecat
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 9:39 am

    @Maddie, I agree! Bestest.

17. 17
    considerthis
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 10:28 am

    Aww shucks – I feel like Leah at the West Virginia State Penitentury’s Valentines Day Dance. Y’all are too kind.

    I am inspired by greatness – @Madelyne – you complete me as your caps get the snark flowin.

    I comment on several other shows but hats off and hands down the Teem Mom commenters are awesome and can bring it like no other. Granted we have very rich (thanks to MTV) material to work with but you guys own the snark-o-meter.

    Back to unpacking and very much apprec the love!

18. 18
    LadyStardust
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 11:50 am

    cloudsinmycoffee: Yep, definitely strings It’s how the doctor eventually removes it and generally they tell you to check that they’re still there every once in a while to make sure everything is still in place. My doctor told me a story about a woman who didn’t tell her boyfriend she got an IUD and HE accidentally grabbed the strings and yanked, not knowing what it was. I can see Chelsea being stupid enough to do that to herself maybe.

    Nik: OMG that text! I keep thinking of that every time I see Chelsea swoon over Adam again. HOW on earth can she get over that awful text?

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    Lisa
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    I must have a bad memory, I don’t remember the text.

20. 20
    LadyStardust
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    Lisa: It said something along the lines of “give me the papers so I can sign over that mistake” referring to Aubrey as “that mistake” and signing his rights to her away. I believe he also referred to Chelsea as a “fat stretch marked bitch”.

    It was fairly soon after the birth I think, so it may have been in her original 16 and Pregnant episode.

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    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    @CloudsinmyCoffee: I love my Marina too! (I got a generic version last time I was in Canada picking up some of that super-alkie beer to bring home, the box had pictures of yachts on it–geddit, Marina!–and clouds in the sky that are kind of v-shaped, which I think is supposed to make you think of your hoo hoo.) Anyway, I even named my IUD. I call it Mr. Goalie Man. And nobody scores on Mr. Goalie Man!

22. 22
    darlingclementine
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 11:49 pm

    I totally forgot about that horrid text… also chels will probably just have random sex with adam for the rest of her life and have like intermittent children with him and harbor the same family fantasy each time.

    Thanks for the learning about the IUD. I remember when they all went to the doctor to get them in and they had so many PSAs/commercials about them. Welp looks like that didnt go so well…

    Has anyone seen Kail’s super ugly tats recently? It just gets worse and worse. She has an arm sleeve now in addition to that one on her back. She looks really strange in tats plus these are like really ugly in general (many commented that her arm tat looks like a man’s). They arent doing our Oatmeal friend any favors… still like her the best though

23. 23
    Mellie
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 5:00 am

    Don’t the girls ever think about STDs or HIV?

24. 24
    amandalee27
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 6:03 am

    I call BS on Slo Jo being the violent one. Those bruises on her arm are in a spot where you would grab to block a blow or stop swinging. I’m not a detective or anything, but I think oatmeal lost her shit and started swinging and Slo Jo grabbed her to block the blows. I love how Mark called her out on the way she talks to people and has a double standard with who can be around the kid.

    I was shocked Jennelle knew how to cook anything…besides meth.

    Chelsea is disgusting. Her IUD prob rotted out since she never bathes. And is she even old enough to drink? Those kitschy wine signs drive me crazy in her house.

    There can only be one reasonable explanation that Jeremy is still with Leah and Corey still wants her; her vagina is magical. Has to be. Not magical enough to fix Goggles, so it must just have penis magic.

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    Catherine
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 6:32 am

    Ugh seeing that wine sign just reminds me of the kind I used to drink at 19-20 years old. I still hate you jug of Carlo Rossi!

26. 26
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 10:31 am

    For those few moments when Janelle was cooking food and talking calmly and rationally about her future, it felt like the Twilight Zone. I was waiting for an angel, sitting astride a unicorn to come floating across the screen in a cloud of rainbow dust and cinnamon sugar. Shit was surreal.
    Good to see things will be getting back to normal for her next episode.
    I look forward to watching her ignore her child and throw people out of her house of the week.

    Thank you for all the Ali screencaps. They almost make up for last week.
    Ugh she is so freaking cute. When she lifted her chubby little arm to pat Leah’s head (I hope that raccoon has all its rabies shots) I just wanted to squish her.
    I just need to know who thought it was a good idea to leave someone who just had a miscarriage alone with two baby twins. No one from her family could have come over to help?
    And I wonder how Jeremy feels now, watching all these scenes with her trying to get Corey back while he’s away at work.

    See Kailyn had us all fooled. Who knew that beneath that oatmeal exterior lurked the hulk?
    I can’t believe she just up and attacked Jo.
    I don’t like him, but I really think she started it and that it was a bitch move to get that protection order. Hopefully Jo can fight it successfully.

27. 27
    kthxbai
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    @Madelyne27 I hope you didn’t blink during your “vacation” from this show. Cause you would’ve totally missed it. Thanks for making such a great recap out of the goose egg MTV gave you to work with.

    I know the reports say Kail’s bipolar and taking medicine now etc. But I think she just snapped. She’s been working, going to school, tending to the baby, and without a support system.

    And just keeping everything bottled up. You can only do that for so long. Specially at the age she is. And with all she’s got to bottle.

    I hope Javi comes with a grandma for the baby. And turns out to be her forever husband. Plus adopts Isaac. So she can get shed of Slo Jo. That’d be better for Janet and everybody else in the long run.

28. 28
    LadyStardust
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    Kailyn got a tattoo sleeve?? Okay, I need to google that now. I can’t imagine her with a sleeve. She seems more the type to get a tiny tattoo on the top of her foot or something.

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    Madelyne27
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    @ladystardust – google Kailyn Lowry Tattoo and then go to Google Images… her entire back is tattooed as well… i guess she’s a little “cooler” than we thought.

30. 30
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 10:59 pm

    I got a tattoo on my FUPA that says “Close your legs to married men, bitch!” It’s upside down, so I can read it, you know, in situations when I need to reminded the most… as a conversation starter, it’s wicked pissah.

31. 31
    coffylover
    Posted February 24, 2013 at 12:36 am

    @ NotWithoutMyTV : I love to say ‘wicked pissah’!! And refer to ’90s bang atrocities as the ‘Quincy claw’, etc.

    Being from Boston (or burbs) provides such fun slang. Are you from round the way, too?

32. 32
    TheBedHeadJen
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    @ Lady Stardust
    ” Or she could have tugged on the strings too hard somehow (got them wrapped around a tampon and pulled or something like that to dislodge it). That’s also pretty rare, but possible.”

    Maybe she dislodged it while trying to add feathers to the strings.

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    Catherine
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    Omg @thebedheadjen….. Too funny. Wish the comment sections had like/ dislike

34. 34
    LadyStardust
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    @TheBedHeadJen: HAHAHAHA. That may be my favorite comment of the season.

35. 35
    rebecca pressley
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    I had 2 misscarriages and it is a very emotional time. I have also had braces 2 times and I dont think I ever played with my braces like Leah does.
    It made me vomit in my mouth hearing Adam and Chelsea talking about Adam “pulling out”. Gross. Chelsea is one stupid girl.