Teen Mom: Trials and Tribulations

I have to say that having never watched Teen Mom; I wasn’t quite sure how to be a judgmental bitch when dealing with teenager mothers. It is one thing to rag on the bitches of Basketball Wives and Mob Wives, but teenagers can’t help being retarded. Once their brains develop fully, it’s easier to mock them. Thank goodness I’m just an interim recapper until someone better equipped can take over.

Maci meets with her advisor in Chattanooga after dropping Bentley off with Ryan. She finds out that she has failed two classes and is worried about finishing school because she lives 2 hours away. Here is what I don’t understand; doesn’t Nashville have any community colleges? Is there some reason that she can only go to community college in Chattanooga? Were her grades too horrible for her to get into a community college in any other city in Tennessee?

Her parents don’t think it makes sense for her to commute, but they suggest she move back instead of transferring to another school there. Maci claims she made a commitment so she is going to commute. Why can’t she just transfer? She can’t be worried about losing credits since she has already failed two classes, right?

Catelynn calls her mom and her mom starts screaming at her to come and get her shit. Catelynn thinks her mom is being a bitch because she can’t see Butch.

I suspect that her mom has a hardcore crack problem – but crack might be too expensive, maybe she huffs chemicals? Catelynn and Tyler take Butch to lunch and recommend that they all go to counseling as a family so that they can allow their daughter to come visit them as a family. I think that the kid’s adoptive parents should keep that child as far away from this Squidbilly mess as possible.

Farrah visits an attorney to deny grandparent rights to Derek’s mother. The lawyer seems to think that she has a good case for dismissing since the grandmother can’t prove a prior close relationship to Sophia, nor can she prove that Farrah is unfit to make decisions. Basically, Granny can suck it.

Amber is lying on the couch being lazy. She laments the fact that she is staying with a friend and there is no place for her baby, Leah, to sleep. She says this as the camera pans past a baby bed that is currently being used to store a beach ball and other assorted junk. She left Leah with Gary – without saying goodbye or even giving her a second thought. And now she is really worried that CPS is going to take away the child that she abandoned.

She meets up with Gary and is surprised to see that Leah already knows how to put her own shoes on. Because it’s not like she has the time to check in with her daughter, what with her high powered job and all of her volunteer work. Gary tells her that CPS stopped by and they want to know why they haven’t heard from her. Amber wants to make sure he told them that she was in therapy and her phone has to be off. It doesn’t explain why she didn’t respond to their message but at least she is starting to realize that the cameras are actually recording what she does and says.

Gary says that they need to talk with their attorney to get this all straightened out. I don’t know what the deal is with these two, but Gary’s battered spouse syndrome keeps him awfully accommodating.

Catelynn is motivated to graduate and get their family on track with counseling. She is doing her homework when her mother arrives. April looks totally cracked out, or possibly high on fumes, maybe she is a long time drinker? Seriously, what is going on with her? I’ve seen zombies more checked into reality than this woman.

Derek’s dad and stepmom meet up with Farrah and Sophia at the park. She tells them about Derek’s mom wanting grandparent rights. They verify that Derek never had a doubt that Sophia was his. His dad doesn’t understand why Derek’s mom is doing this. They promise to be supportive of her and Sophia. I have to ask, is Derek’s mom a straight up bitch or was Farrah totally heinous prior to Derek’s death? Because the way she talks to her mom leads me to believe it’s a combination of the two.

Ryan and Bentley hang out while Maci navigates her commute back to Nashville. A sleepy Kyle (I know he was sleepy and not just being his normal self because he told us he just woke up), apologizes for not having cleaned the place. Instead of pulling an Amber and choking Kyle out, Maci whines about her commute and how awful it is that there aren’t any other community colleges in or nearby the city of Nashville.

Amber tells us that Leah is still abandoned, and that she is afraid of CPS taking her away. I think she is more afraid of going to jail than she is about losing Leah. She says that she can’t help that she had a kid at a young age, as though that explains everything. She gives a totally fake speech about how she CAN get better and make sure the kid’s life is good. I don’t get this. It seems like Leah would be much better off staying with Gary since Amber isn’t really interested in being a mom anyway.

Amber’s lawyer calls and says that their meeting has to take place at the police department. Why is her face so much darker than her hands? Seriously:

Anyway, she is worried about getting arrested.

Farrah gets a letter from Derek’s mother’s lawyer. They still have to go to court. They are saying that granny couldn’t establish a relationship because of Farrah. Her mother keeps stressing how important this is and this time instead of throwing a hissy fit, Farrah agrees.

Catelynn calls her mom and tries to talk to her about how she feels. There is some crying conversation where it seems like there are some really important things that Catelynn wants to say but, I’m not sure what it is and April is in denial about there being anything wrong in their relationship. April gets really defensive and Catelynn is really upset and crying all over the place. I think the biggest problem is that these girls are still basically kids. They don’t know how to articulate how they are feeling. They don’t know how to see the big picture. The only real life experience they have is the fact that they are now parents. And in Catelynn’s case, it doesn’t appear that she has had anything remotely resembling a role model for being a functioning adult.

Anyway, Catelynn doesn’t understand why her mom has the ability to make her this upset. Tyler thinks that April has a hard time accepting that she has done anything wrong and doesn’t know how to apologize without being passive aggressive. They both think that counseling is going to help this. I think that April was just coming down off a bender and needs a fix.

Maci finds a furnished apartment for her and Bentley. It’s actually pretty nice and really large. Maci calls Kyle to tell him that she found an apartment. Then she wonders why he doesn’t sound happy about it. She tells him he can come with him and he says it’s not that easy.

Amber meets with her lawyer. He tells her that they are going to meet with a detective and CPS at the police station. One of Gary’s friends gives them a lift to the courthouse and drop Leah off at the baby sitter. She says it’s hard to say goodbye to Leah. I guess that’s why she just took off in the middle of the night and left her alone with Gary to move in with her friend?

Apparently, no action is being taken against Amber but she is still under investigation. Gary goes to pick up Leah and Amber goes back to the apartment she has been staying at. CPS will be making regular checkups on her. She says that she can’t really think about her relationship with Gary right now. She obviously isn’t thinking about Leah either.

Gary talks to his mom about how stressed he is. He says that the only good thing he knows is that even if Amber lost Leah, she wouldn’t be taken away from him. His mom says that Gary should just give Amber plenty of space for Leah’s sake. I think he should also keep a Taser nearby for his own sake.

Farrah is stressed about the trial so she has decided not to think about it. They agree that Sophia shouldn’t be a part of this so her dad is going to watch him. She flips out and turns into a total bitch when her mom tries to help her calm down by talking about Sophia liking Barney. Farrah strikes me as a totally spoiled brat. I just know she has spoken to her mother like this her entire life, and I am floored by it. I’ve never understood parents who allowed their children to speak to them with such blatant disrespect. This is what happens when you don’t keep a fly swatter handy. The kids get mouthy and knocked up while they are still in high school.

Catelynn goes to counseling with her mom. Catelynn thinks hermom is unhappy with her life and herself. April admits that her relationship with Catelynn isn’t that great. The two of them haven’t been close since Catelynn gave up the baby. Neither of them are good at expressing their feelings. April is unpredictable – Meth is a hell of a drug, allegedly.

April is crying and there seems to be a breakthrough on the communication front. She admits that she has called her daughter a whore and a bitch and she knows it hurts her and she doesn’t want to do it anymore. What the hell? Who calls their own kid a whore while not intending to hurt their feelings? I would ask if she is on crack, but I think we already have our answer to that one.

Farrah won her case and is still being a bitch to her mom for some reason. Her mom is so excited that its all over and Farrah is acting like her mom just farted in the car. In fact, she doesn’t get the least bit excited until she calls Derek’s stepmother to tell her what happened. I’m trying really hard to like Farrah because Sophia is adorable, but I just want to smack her upside the head with my shoe.

Maci is moved in and bummed that Kyle isn’t living with them. Kyle just happens to show up at the door to see her. He checks out the place and says it’s very nice. He tells her that he has a secret. He’s embarrassed to tell her but he tells her anyway. He quit his job and is going to move to Chattanooga with her. He wants to know if he is a loser because he quit his job to move in with her. But, she is happy about it.

Then there is a montage of hugs. Not much of an episode, but the next one looks pretty juicy. With Ryan threatening to take custody of Bentley.