Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
OK, Gasmii. Here we go. It’s four hours of “The Bachelor.” I’m putting on my game face, I’ve got wine ready for the drinking game (we’re going all out – drinking for every “Bachelor” cliche!), and I’m ready to write. Let’s do this.
*Before we start, I don’t know why, but sometimes this site hates me. In order to keep this from being one giant page of text, I had to enter all of my page breaks manually. I apologize in advance if some of the pages are uneven.*
Jumping right in, Chris Harrison arrives to let the ladies know they will be going on a worldwide journey! Their first stop is…Montana. Seriously? Now, I love Montana like it’s my job. However, when someone tells me I’m going on a worldwide journey, I don’t immediately think Montana. Sean tells us that he’s a country boy (drink!) and he can’t wait for the ladies to get there. The ladies arrive and there is general excitement about getting to spend time with Sean. Tierra tells us that she’ll make the best of it as she swats away a fly.
The first date card is dropped off for – Lindsay! Oh, hey, they’re taking a helicopter because of course they are! Sean recaps Lindsay’s first night in the house – when she showed up wearing a wedding dress. At first, he thought she was too crazy and almost sent her home. However, since the producers knew that someone who would show up wearing a wedding dress was reality TV gold, Lindsay is still here. Sean wants to find out if she could potentially be his wife (drink!).
This is the first time that I’ve ever been jealous of anyone on this show. They are going to take a tour of Glacier National Park. My family and I camped there when I was 10 and I’ve longed to go back ever since.
Lindsay has never felt so close to someone. That’s…really sad for everyone else in her life. She’s never felt closer to anyone than she does to this guy who is basically picking a woman out of a catalog. They talk about being outdoorsy and it’s all very boring. They make out a lot. Now, for “Bachelor” standards, this is a pretty boring one-on-one date. I mean, the rest of the ladies got to free fall off buildings or rock climb or set a world record. Lindsay got to make out in a national park.
Sean and Lindsay have dinner. Sean tells us about the connection (drink!) that he and Lindsay have. Lindsay tells Sean that she’s not sure what got her here. Well, Lindsay, you auditioned to be on “The Bachelor” and you were crazy enough for the producers to think you’d make for some good entertainment. That’s how you got here. Sean wants to know more about Lindsay growing up an army brat. She hated moving around a lot and that’s why she wants a solid family. They call each other amazing and then make out some more.