So this was the week we were suppose to KICK IT UP A NOTCH folks, and that doesn’t mean I’m writing things in all caps in the entire time….or maybe it does, I won’t do that to you because this episode is painful as is, even without letters that infer yelling. Last week we learned that Emily was sweeping these men off their Men’s Warehouse feet and taking them to CROATIA! A place Emily had probably never heard of, and I keep misspelling. The show opens with Emily taking on the new country sans Ricki, you see Emily tells us Ricki has gone back to Charlotte with her babysitter, ya know the school probably didn’t look too fondly upon a child following her mother around Europe so her mom could find another fiancee. The guys arrive and they are excited, Jef tells us it’s the perfect place to fall in love….with a dude. Ok, he doesn’t say the last part, he just thinks it.
There is no time to worry about Jef’s sexuality because the guys check into their hotel which looks very identical to their last hotels but whatever Emily arrives right away and shows up with a date card for Travis. I know what you’re thinking WHO? Well he has a bad hair line and he looks like the poor man’s Doug. Emily and Travis take off to explore the city where Em fact checks him on her Croatia travel guide, as they walk through the city Emily tells him, 1,000 people live in the walls!
They stop for ice cream where Emily obviously doesn’t have a travel book to help her make her choice, so she picks pistachio, ew. Emily tells us that she feels like she can have so much fun with Travis, that she is just having the BEST time. How can someone have the BEST time with every guy they go out with? Oh well, Travis informs us he is having a great time on this date, in fact if he had to rate it, he would give the date an 11! But I smell trouble in Croatia, because it’s time for the night time portion of their date, and it’s in some creepy cave. These never end well, remember Nate? Yea me neither. Travis and Emily meet up for dinner in the pouring rain and Emily tells us she is really looking for romance tonight, Emily says romance about 8 times in one sentence so we can only assume Travis is toast. Travis tells Emily that this the best date he has had since he was engaged, not going to lie talking about your ex fiancee is a bit of a turn off. However, in true Emily form she grills him for awhile about his engagement and who he has dated since. Poor Travis kinda seems like he is on a job interview and it doesn’t look like he’s gonna get the job.
Emily tells Travis that this is probably going to work out and that she cannot give him the final rose. WEAK. Travis gracefully leaves, umbrella in hand and walks into the cold rainy night of Croatia, was it really cold? Who cares, sounds better that way. Let’s be honest we saw this one coming, and I’m surprised Travis didn’t see it as well. Travis seems pretty pissed so he throws his umbrella into the rain and cries his way back to the US of A. Hey at least we have zoning here that doesn’t require every house roof to be painted red, what’s up with that Croatia?
Meanwhile back at the hotel de how the hell do you take off 2 months from a sales job to go on a dating show?? the men are contemplating who will receive the second group date. And how serendipitous, the date card arrives with the group date players. After ticking off the names of the guys who WILL be going on the date the geniuses figure out that Ryan’s name was not listed so the guys do a collective groan as Ryan smiles at himself in the mirror. The guys assemble for their group date, where they meet up with Emily at the only movie theater in the whole country. Because there is nothing better than going to a movie with 6 dudes. Obviously ABC wasn’t going to do us any favors and let us watch some home movies of Lerone as a child, god damn it Emily why did you get rid of him week one….oh wait, I know why. Anyway, I digress, ABC gets their chance to shamelessly plug that PIXAR movie Brave, and Emily makes the guys watch it with her in this awkwardly bright theater. I can only imagine that Doug’s son is going to be pissed that his Dad saw this movie without him. The guys pretend to be entertained, but they aren’t fooling my trick ass. And because there is now way to tie in the whole concept of this movie to the date ABC gets creative. Apparently in the movie there is a Bravery Competition where the men are pitted against each other, so Emily sets the guys up to do the same, essentially it’s a Mid-evil Times style fight, only more douchey and pointless, if that’s possible.