When the guys back at the Dew Drop Inn see the tell tale sign of a bag being removed from the hallway, they know Ryan is a goner. It’s basically the cannon sound on The Hunger Games in this world of Bachelorette. The guys are elated and celebrate by throwing down in the hotel, and by throwing down I mean Arie ducks out to go check on our dear Trop– I mean Emily. Emily is excited for find Arie standing out in front of her Croatia abode, which, is she staying in a hostel? What is this? There is like a 5 by 5 mirror and bed spread from Walmart. Emily and Arie talk out the departure of Ryan, where Arie tells her he is thankful she is such a good judgment of character. Someone needs to clue her in to notorious Jef. Arie and Emily seem to really like each other and Emily foreshadows the rest of Croatia by telling Arie that next week is going to be really fun, does that mean he will be staying!? Ah! I can’t contain my excitement.
Ok, it’s 6 hours later, and it’s ELIMINATION TIME bitchesssss. The guys meet in another Gothic castle and at first I think we are going to squeeze in another viewing of a Pixar movie, but alas. Emily shows up dressed like a box of Sno-Caps and she informs us these nights are getting harder when it comes time to trim the fat. Em goes real talk on us and tells us she will probably send John aka Wolf or Doug home. She starts the night with a check in with John who tells Emily he has been holding out on a big secret, even from his parents…wait isn’t Jef going to have this conversation with her…kidding. John shows Emily the funeral cards of his grandparents, who he loves, and he realizes it’s the 9 year anniversary of his grandfather having a heart attack, note he didn’t say he died that day….I’ve been doing too much reading comprehension for the GRE, I’m over analyzing everything. Anyway, this is enough to impress Emily, she said she had a lot of questions about John but she is feeling better about him. On to the other guy on the chopping block, and it’s Doug. Emily has felt less of a connection with Doug lately, and he struggles to put her arm around him.
Emily tells Doug she wants to be pursued and Doug is sweating like Jef before a make out session. Maybe Doug is just awkward but this isn’t going too well, and Emily tells him she loves that he’s humble, but he needs to assert himself more. I don’t feel good about this poor guy’s fate.
Oh well, not time to worry about Doug, it’s elimination time. Emily spends about 45 seconds staring at their pictures, and trying to remember their names…is there an Alessandro here? Oh I got rid of him right? Emily returns with her decisions made, and the roses in order…now remember CHRIS is safe, so it’s Sean, Jef, and Arie…and then NO ONE. Emily can’t make a decision so she ducks out back to talk to her bf Harrison who is busy trying to score blow from a local…or hit on a producer, maybe both. Emily makes a mumble request and Harrison agrees wholeheartedly. Now if you are on the fence on whether this was a COMPLETE set up let me tell you how I know it was, Emily was on her final rose, at which point Harrison is suppose to appear and tell us it’s the FINAL rose, but he didn’t. Fake, fake, fake. But who cares, it’s a tv show. So Emily returns to the guys and tells us her heart is torn, she can’t make a decision…and enter the room HARRISON, with ANOTHER rose!!! Emily gives the roses to John aka who cares and Doug E. He’ll be gone next week. So we lost Travis and Ryan this week, not bad! And Emily informs us next stop Prague! More cities Emily didn’t know about pre-Bachelorette, so stay tuned folks, let’s be hones, it’s lackluster however the teaser alleges that Emily is going to find out Arie had a relationship with a producer on the show, finally something we can really talk crap on….stay with me fans!