The Best Horror Movies of All Time Part One: The Good

Recaps

By TheMiki | Tuesday, October 25, 2011 | 1:00 pm | 70 Comments
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Posted in: Recaps

It’s getting on the end of October, Gasmii!  You know what that means… Time to buy Halloween candy ahead of time and then eat it all and have to make a last minute trip for more at 5pm on Halloween night (I know that’s not just me).  For the ladies, it’s time to go out and try and find a single costume in the entire store that isn’t a variation of role-playing hooker costume.  For the guys, it’s time to rejoice in the fact that all the ladies will probably give up and just dress like hookers.

Sexy-Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle-CostumesHooker Ninja Turtles.  I can’t make this shit up.

Also, it’s time to have some friends over, pop some popcorn, and put on some good ol’ fashioned scary movies.  TheMiki loves you all, and would like your splatter fests to be as enjoyable as possible, so I’ve compiled a list of all my favorite scary movies.  A few caveats:  First, in the grand tradition of Hypnotoad wanting a single horror movie list that didn’t include The Shining, I’m not including ANY of the usual suspects in horror movie top ten lists.  Not because I don’t like the movies or because they weren’t scary.  I just don’t really think you guys have anything to gain by me telling you that Psycho was awesome or Rosemary’s Baby was creepy as fuck.  I’m hoping to convince you to maybe watch some movies you haven’t seen before, or maybe just appreciate a few you never gave much credit to.  Some of these are big budget movies you’ve definitely heard of, but maybe you just never had any reason to actually add them to your Netflix queue because they looked stupid as shit.  I’m not going for the top ten best obscure horror films here or anything (there are several of those lists online, but mostly they suck).  I’ve even limited myself two foreign language films because otherwise they would make up my whole list and a bunch of angry readers would be bitching about how hard it is to read subtitles when you’re drunk at a Halloween party.

I’m also dividing this into a three part series, because when I sat and thought real hard about my favorite horror movies I realized that a lot of them were more funny and than scary, and then some of them were absolutely TERRIBLE but still completely awesome.  So, this week we’ll be looking at:

The Good, which means movies that are brilliantly written or beautifully shot or genuinely piss-your-pants scary or at least unique enough to warrant a nod for giving us something new to be terrified of that we hadn’t thought of before.

The Bad, which means campy, gory, low-budget, badly acted, plot-hole filled drivel that still manages to somehow be awesome, along with basically good horror movies that just aren’t very scary or realistic.  Yeah yeah, we all love a good deep psychological mindfuck that makes us sleep with the lights on, but sometimes we want to just be ENTERTAINED by the murder of the innocents.

The Funny, which means tongue-in-cheek style horror flicks that aren’t going give you nightmares or anything, but that use a terrifying premise to make you laugh.  Because for every night that you want a complex narrative from a horror master, there’s a night where you want to giggle your way through a splatter fest that’s both gross and clever.

Okay, all set?  Ready to learn a little something about what TheMiki watches on horror movie nights?  Well then, let’s get to it, and let’s start things off right with The Good.  These aren’t in any particular order, because if I put them in order I would spend the next six hours rearranging them because I couldn’t decide which ones I liked best.

Orphanage

Married couple with terminally ill child moves into a creepy old orphanage with only the best intentions, child starts playing with a group of invisible friends, parents write it off as standard kid behavior, kid disappears, scariness ensues.

This is one of the two foreign language films I’ve allotted myself, and it is amazing.  After seeing Del Torro’s most recent, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, I have decided that the man clearly does not speak English, and that whoever interprets for him when he’s directing an English language film is an asshole.  Orphanage is the pinnacle of what makes Del Torro great.  It’s creepy and atmospheric and the tension builds so effortlessly that you almost forget you’re watching a movie at all.

Cube

Six complete strangers wake up in a strange room.  They don’t know each other, they don’t know how they got there, and they don’t know where they are.  No one remembers anything beyond going to sleep and waking up there.  There are doors on each wall, along with the ceiling and the floor, giving them six different directions to try and find a way out.  Oh, but a lot of the rooms have horrible gruesome booby traps in them, and the cube seems to go on forever with rooms in every direction and no end in sight. This movie is terrifying partially because it so brilliantly shows us how ordinary people can come unglued when put in a stressful situation, and partially because of the randomness of it all.  Also, while it does go for the gore at times, the gore is so damn creative that it doesn’t feel like a cheap scare.  A lot of big-budget horror films have ripped off some of the deaths from Cube, so if you watch this and think, “I’ve seen all this crap before and TheMiki is full of shit” then try to remember that Cube probably did it first.  And also, fuck you.

Frozen

Sure, it’s kind of a lame premise.  Three college kids bribe their way onto a mountain to avoid paying for lift tickets, then they talk the guy running the lift into letting them take one last run after the mountain is closing down and they wind up getting stuck after the lift powers down while they’re still on it.  The rest of the movie is just the three of them panicking and trying to think of ways to get down and bickering and crying and occasionally getting chewed on by wolves.  It’s great in that the situation is so dreary and leaves them so completely helpless.  Basically your choices are sit in this chair until you die or jump out and fall until you die.  The characters are pretty much assholes, so you don’t mind watching them break-down and succumb to frost-bite so much.  There are parts in the beginning of this movie where they’re behaving like such asswipe entitled coed dickweeds that I’m dying to see them get on that chair and start suffering. This should probably be on the bad list, but it gets a good rating simply for giving us one more thing to have an irrational phobia of.

A Tale of Two Sisters

I couldn’t sleep for days after I watched this movie.  DAYS.  This movie is so twisted and creepy and beautiful and horrible that I couldn’t get it out of my head.  And when I slept I dreamed about it and woke up with my heart beating out of my damn chest.  The story follows two sisters returning home after spending time in a mental institution.  Their stepmom is a heinous bitch and there’s a ghost fucking with everyone, plus there’s the issue of dealing with the reason the girls were in the nuthouse in the first place.  This was remade into a terrible American movie, but for the love of all that’s unholy don’t watch that version.  Either buck up and read the subtitles, deal with shitty dubbing, or don’t watch the movie at all.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

This was the first Freddy movie that Wes Craven actually had a hand in since the original, and holy hell did he breathe new life into it.  Instead of making a sequel or a prequel, Craven went for something I can only really call a parallel-quel.  Everything takes place in the real world, where the Freddy movies are just movies and Robert England is some guy who lives in the mountains and paints pictures now that he’s done playing Kruger.  Nancy, the star of the first movie, plays herself, only she’s being haunted by a very real Freddy who isn’t happy about being killed off in movieland and is trying to make his way into the real world via Nancy’s incredibly creepy yet adorable son.  A brilliant way to make an actual good movie out of a franchise that had been milked to death.

House of the Devil

Do you have a soft spot for those creepy Satanic cult horror movies of the early 80’s?  This movie sure as hell does.  Set in the 80’s and shot in a grainy 80’s movie style, you would almost think you were watching a classic horror film.  Okay, not almost.  If I hadn’t seen the release date on Netflix (2009) I would be wondering how on earth I managed to go my entire childhood without having this movie scare the crap out of me.  Aside from being an impressive homage to an era of awesome scary cinema, this film is genuinely suspense-filled and kinda fucking scary.  Next time you’re watching Poltergeist and one of your friends bitches that, “they just don’t make movies like this anymore,”  make them watch House of the Devil.

Ginger Snaps

Okay, fine, this one is absolutely not scary.  It is sort of a thousand different kinds of awesome though, so it’s going on the good list.  It’s also the only good werewolf movie to come out during my lifetime.  American Werewolf in London came out the year before I was born, and every attempt since then has been half-assed and funny when it meant to be scary.  Ginger Snaps tells the story of two teenage sisters, the older and hotter of which has been bitten by a lycanthrope. Her transformation into a werewolf is a great big metaphor for puberty, and it’s a really enjoyable if not slightly campy take on the whole werewolf genre.

Let Me In

Umm… So while I sit here and instruct you to absolutely under no circumstances watch the American version of A Tale of Two Sisters I must admit that I haven’t seen the Swedish version of Let Me In.  Maybe it’s a thousand times better and blows this American version out of the water, but  after just seeing this one I absolutely loved it.  It’s sort of a sweet young love take on the vampire mythos, where the girl next door and only friend to nerdy protagonist Owen just happens to be a bloodthirsty vampire.  Played by Chloe Grace Moretz who I will go on record as calling the greatest child actress in the world, the vampire is tragic and sympathetic while still being a killing machine. The bullies Owen encounters at school are dark and twisted and terrifying in their own right, and those moments of violence that come out of nowhere are all the more unsettling because you almost get comfortable feeling like you’re watching a somewhat dark yet sweet coming of age film.  But then there’s biting and blood and horrible icky death to startle you right out of that.

Event Horizon

I was trying really hard not to have any repeats from Hypnotoad’s list last year, but I just can’t bring myself to make a list of scary movies and not include Event Horizon.  This movie scared me more than any movie has ever scared me, and I still have occasional nightmares brought on by early childhood Event Horizon watching PTSD.  Space is the final frontier because space is fucking scary and full of crazy demon shit and Sam Neil.  As a hardcore science nerd with dreams of being an astronaut as a kid this movie hit right where shit got really scary. Because the science nerd in me could scoff at things like ghosts and vampires and satanic forces.  I was scared of serial killers and stuff that could really happen, but the supernatural stuff was silly.  But when they threw science into the supernatural stuff I just shut down and curled into the fetal position and hid under the impenetrable fortress of my blanket where it was safe.

Lake Mungo

Super effective mockumentary about a series of strange occurrences that follow the mysterious drowning death of a teenage girl.  The narrative focuses around the girl’s family and uses interviews spliced together with news footage and home movies to tell the story.  I had to double-check after watching this because it feels so much like a real documentary that I had a rough time believing it was just a movie.  More psychological study than actual horror movie, it will leave you wondering why you’ve never heard of it and yet absolute boring dreck like Paranormal Activity cleaned up at the box office.

Red State

What the fuck, Kevin Smith?  I just watched this movie.  Like, literally threw this on without knowing a damn thing about it because Netflix recommended it based on my enjoyment of some of Kevin Smith’s earlier films (namely Clerks and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back).  And I was finishing off writing this post and thought some mindless stoner comedy might make good background noise while I tried to find good trailers on Youtube and figure out how to get them into my post.  Holy balls, this is not a comedy.  This is a dark, twisted, brutal fucking slasher style flick about backwoods homophobia in the name Jesus.  Think House of 1,000 Corpses if you crossed Rob Zombie’s family with the Westboro Baptist Phelps family of fuckheads.  This movie is unsettling and just downright uncomfortable to watch.  I find it mildly amusing thinking about all the whacked out stoners who probably made the same mistake I did, only in much more fragile states of mind and proceeded to have their mellows violently and permanently harshed.

And even though it has no place here on TVgasm (and on a movie list, no less) if any of you want to do anything totally crazy like.. say… read a book…

House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski

house-leaves-novel-mark-z-danielewski

This book fucking broke my brain.  My inner voice/narrator that I hear in my head turned into the voice of Johnny Truant.  I thought in his vocal stylings.  I saw wacky shit and weird meanings in things that seemed normal before I opened this book.  I still get mildly on edge when I start reading it again, and I’ve read it at least a dozen times.

All right kids, weigh in.  Argue, agree, suggest movies I’m criminally insane for omitting, etc.  I’ll be back in couple days with Part Two: The Bad.  That’s where we have cheesy fun that might make us jump or squirm or but that doesn’t make us turn on all the lights and check under the bed before going to sleep.

TheMiki
About

I enjoy mocking other people because it's the only thing I'm really good at, and I think we should all use the gifts God gave us.  My childhood was way more fucked up than yours, and yet I'm a fully productive member of society with no criminal record or bastard children.  As such, listening to coked-out hookers whine about their baby-daddies getting arrested and how they live this life cause their mama didn't breastfeed them makes me want to throw furniture at my TV.  When I'm not tearing down people on television I like to paint, write, drink coffee, hike, and make pathetic attempts to play the guitar, because chicks dig a lady with an instrument.

70 Comments

  1. 1
    themiki
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    Apologies for the issues with the embedded trailers here, guys. Flipit helped me out because the board didn’t want to let me embed anything, but there was lots of tinkering and tweaking and “let’s see if this works” going on, so clearly we lost the trailers for Tale of Two Sisters and Red State. Trust me, Flipit is a pimp for getting what he did to work.

  2. 2
    c8h10n4o2
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    Thanks for doing this! I’ve seen at least half of these, and the rest that are streaming are now in my queue. I’m having surgery on Halloween, so my demerol and I will be very grateful over the following days.

    Let the Right One In is definitely worth seeing. I’ve heard that the tone of the two movies is a bit different from people who have seen both. And Event Horizon is indeed scary as shit. In the same vein is Sunshine, which has the bonus (for me, at least) of Cillian Murphy.

  3. 3
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    I admit that even though I’m not much of a horror person and not at ALL a gore person (no matter how it’s presented), Frozen intrigues me. However, is it explained in the film why they’d be up there for more than one night, or is our suspension of disbelief supposed to just ignore that for the sake of the film?

  4. 4
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    Ugh, I hate that I used film more than once in one sentence.

  5. 5
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    Oh, I think I just answered my own question. You probably meant the mountain was closing down for the season, when I just assumed you meant for the night.

  6. 6
    Flipit
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    woops! my bad!! they should all be working now. sorry for the troubs! and thanks for the kick ass article. let the right one in is one of my all time faves. i will check out the us version! xo

  7. 7
    themiki
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    It’s closing down for the week. They mention it on the lift. I live around a pretty major ski area and none of our mountains are only open on weekends, but I guess that happens some places…?

  8. 8
    aceinthehole
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    Thank you for the list Miki- I made a few notes. Have you seen High Tension? That one put the fear of French into me. Woulda been rad to get this list a little earlier so that we could locate these movies in advance of Halloween-I’mma put Direct Tv to the test and see how many it has available.

  9. 9
    Elmstreet
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    I havent even gotten past the first page, and I already want to thank you for listing The Orphanage. Buddha on a biscuit, I’ve never seen a movie be so creepy and heartbreaking at the same time.

    Reading on now…

  10. 10
    Elmstreet
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    I haven’t seen the American version of Let The Right One In, but after watching the Swedish version, I went out literally the next day and found the novel it was based on. Good, good, good movie there. I want to talk about it, but I don’t want to be Miss Spoiler. I just want to say “see it!!”.

    If you are recommending creepy books, Linqvist (author of Let Me In) has another book out called “Handling the Undead”. I couldn’t put it down.

    There’s a recent French horror movie called Inside (L’Interier) that almost broke me. I couldn’t finish it. I had to leave the room, cover my ears, shut my eyes, think happy thoughts, and let my friends fill me in on what happened afterwards. Anyone else know what movie I’m talking about?

  11. 11
    SexyPanda
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    Cube! I rented Cube about 6 years ago, after having seen “Cube 2: Hypercube” or some shit on the Blockbuster shelf. I was a purist and wanted to see the saga from the beginning. Holy shit, scary film.

    Event Horizon–saw this in the theater and nearly pooped my pants.

    Let Me In–wanted to see this, will add it to my queueueueue.

    Frozen–didn’t love it, but it had its moments!!!

    What about Human Centipede? Enduring Love is another one in the Frozen vein, more tense than anything, though it also has its moments.

    Enough scattered sentences from me. Love the theme, keep going!!

  12. 12
    themiki
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    @aceinthehole — High Tension fell apart for me at the end. It felt tacked on and made the entire rest of the movie make absolutely no sense. Most of these movies are streaming on Netflix right now. That’s where I see almost everything I watch. Sorry for cutting it so close to Halloween. I didn’t really plan on doing this that far in advance. I was just sick and bored and Flipit gave the okay so I banged something out.

    @Elmstreet – Inside made the shortlist, but I vowed only two foreign language films on the top ten (cause it seriously would have been the whole list otherwise) that one, along with Rec and The Eye and The Baby’s Room and a bunch of other awesome foreign horror movies didn’t make the list. Orphanage and Tale of Two Sisters were the best two, in my opinion.

    @SexyPanda — Cube 2 was atrocious, Definitely watch Let Me In, Frozen gets a lot of points for originality, because there aren’t a whole lot of original horror premises anymore. Human Centipede, if anything, would make the so bad it’s good list. I wasn’t a fan though, except for appreciating its ability to make everyone in the room so friggin uncomfortable. Never even heard of Enduring Love. I’ll poke around the Netflix and see if I can find it.

  13. 13
    lindaw205
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    I watched Let Me In after I watched the American version and definitely liked the Swedish original better. I need to read those books. I don’t mind subtitles at all, especially since US film versions are usually inferior to the originals. And I hope I’m making sense because I’ve taken a ton of sinus medication today. There was something else I wanted to comment on but I don’t remember what it was now. Oh well.

  14. 14
    JJB
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    Theres a ‘So Bad its Good’ list? Tell me ‘Gingerdead Man’ is in there. Its so awful from the plot, the acting, the sets, the special effects, the actual filming. Not to mention the direction cant do continuity for crap XD

  15. 15
    themiki
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    Ha! I don’t have Gingerdead Man on there, but I have seen that movie. I think that one missed making it to “so bad it’s good” for me and just felt like, “So bad it makes you want to drive to Gary Busey’s house and kick him in the nuts.”

  16. 16
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    This is a good list! I love so many of these and most of the ones I haven’t seen are actually sitting in my Netflix queue. El Orfanato and A Tale of Two Sisters are two of my favorite movies ever.
    Another favorite for me was The Crazies. I mean the new one with Timothy Olyphant in it. And The Mist!

  17. 17
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    And Shutter!! The Japanese version though, not the crappy American one.
    Okay, I’m done for real now.

  18. 18
    lavenderincense
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    “Inside” was fantastic. Beatrice Dalle gives one of the greatest villainess performances ever. I also liked “The Descent” and “The Strangers.”

  19. 19
    PlathAddict PlathAddict
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    I LOVED Let the Right One In (so stark and beautiful and creepy). I thought that they did a good job with the American remake, but it wasn’t as haunting to me as the original. I reserved the books through my local library, but they haven’t come in yet.

    I would also add The Devil’s Rejects and the original Halloween to this list. The Devil’s Rejects because, for me, it’s the only truly good horror movie that Rob Zombie has ever done (hated his Halloween remakes and couldn’t even sit through House of 1000 corpses).
    But, if you really want a great Halloween movie, I want to suggest Trick r’ Treat. A lot of it is really gross. Some of it is kind of cheesy, but the rest of it all adds up to make a really enjoyable horror movie. It’s 4 stories that all happen on Halloween night and it gets pretty twisted. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0862856/

  20. 20
    Dawn
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    The Original Black Christmas – also called Stranger in the House. Not the idiotic remake of a few years ago, but the one from 1973 or 1974, with Olivia Hussey, Margot Kidder, Keir Dullea and Andrea Martin. Directed by none other than Bob Clark (Christmas Story), this one is a true gem, and I believe, was a forerunner to Halloween. Check this one out if you’ve never seen it. You will get true chills up your spine. One of the best I’ve ever seen.

  21. 21
    Dawn
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    Actually, its Black Christmas, not The Original Black Christmas,lol. Jus the original movie, to clear things up.

    You’ll never go near an attic again…

  22. 22
    Tmurda
    Posted October 25, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    @plathaddict-THANK YOU! Devil’s rejects is my all-time favorite movie. I love it mainly cuz im demented, but the characters are so fucking psychotic, that they are somehow likeable, despite all the twisted and traumatizing shit they do to all who cross their path. Rob Zombie made them terrifying, yet clever and witty that you can’t help but find urself actually rooting for them by the end.
    Great list, btw! I have never seen or even heard of any of these films, & they look awesome. I can’t wait to watch Red State.
    A few films I wouldn’t neccessarily claim as classics, but really enjoyed are Stir of Echoes (with my babydaddy Kevin Bacon), the version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre with jessica biel, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Carrie (I consider this a classic, tho). I think I might just be so obsessed with Carrie cause my mom let me see it waaay to young, and it creeped me out, gave me nightmares, and actually feeling a little depressed. Iv’e always found people who are so far up catholosism’s ass that they’ve lost all touch with reality to be scary as shit, and Carrie’s mother was the epitomy of that and more. And John Travolta’s minor roll of the boyfriend to the crooked-toothed carrie-tormenter, gives me a giggle, especially when he bitch-slaps that cunt for all of us watching. It’s like he read my mind and just went ahead and popped her so I could quit fantasizing bout it and watch the movie.

  23. 23
    Luscious
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 7:35 am

    Frozen was stoopit and should have been called “Everyone gets eaten by wolves – the end.” That would have saved me some time – but then again I was trapped on a South American bus and had to watch it in Spanish, which is a whole ‘nother horror story. But I get your point about another irrational fear to obsess over.

  24. 24
    SexyPanda
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 9:23 am

    The Hills have Eyes made me scream a few times. SO did Insidious.

    And I remember renting Jack Frost (not the one with Michael Keaton) back in college and it being stupid scary.

    My favorite old skool ones are Poltergeist and The Shining.

    Yay, Halloween!!!

  25. 25
    kczar
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 10:50 am

    Great list. I haven’t seen a lot of these so I’ll have to work up my courage and fire up the Netflix. Another good scary movie is The Audition. It’s Japanese so it would break your only two foreign films on the list rule, but oh my word, it messed with my head!

  26. 26
    LAC LAC
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 11:39 am

    Great list!! Event Horizon always freaked me the fuck out. May I add a few other suggestions. : Trick r Treat (uber creepy, especially the school bus story); Black Christmas (the original); Are you afraid of the Dark (the 1970′s TV movie) and Juon (the Japanese version).

  27. 27
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 11:40 am

    I am generally not afraid of horror movies, but I love them. I am the person who is laughing most of the movie and rolling my eyes. But The Last House on the Left (old and new version), Pet Cemetery (had to leap into bed for weeks after watching that one) and Nightmare on Elm Street (I was never going to sleep again) are no laughing matter.

  28. 28
    themiki
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 11:52 am

    @LAC — I think you’ll appreciate list number two, which I believe is going up in an hour or so. Trick R Treat is not only on there, but the bus story is specifically mentioned.

    @Classy Drunk — Fully agree, but all those movies would be excluded under the “Avoiding films that are on every top ten list on the internet” clause. Doesn’t make them any less awesome and scary, though. Pet Sematary especially terrified me as a kid. That movie made me do the bed leap too, because OW. That hurt just to watch.

  29. 29
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    Sexy Panda — I couldn’t even sit through the end of Jack Frost as it was painfully awful.

    TheMiki — So what you are saying is my reading comprehension is poor and I would not do well with the foreign movies with subtitles? :)

  30. 30
    LAC LAC
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    Themiki! Yay!! What a pleasure it is to read this even though I am looking over my shoulder cause it is giving me the willies thinking about the movies.

  31. 31
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    Great List, TheMiki. Many of these are on list of favs, too, especially Let The Right One In and The Orphanage. I also enjoyed The Devil’s Backbone, not that it was so scary..but it was creepy and beautiful, kind of like LTROI was. I have Let Me In and Insidious and are planning to watch them this week to get ready for Halloween. Trick R Treat is on my Netflix queue, LAC, so I’m definitely going to watch it. I’ve been revving up my little toddler for Halloween (she’s going to be a tiger) and she’s been walking around the house with her Jack o’ Lantern bucket but I need some adult Halloween fun, too. So I plan to scare myself silly or at least get a creepy tingling sensation during all the long, drawn silences and shots of blowing, leafless trees. OoooooOOOOOOhhhhh…

  32. 32
    Jessi
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Gaaaah, Event Horizon TERRIFIED me! I walked in the room when my mom was watching it and ran out screaming. Had nightmares for years. I blame it for my complete inability to sit through a scary alien movie to this day. Also, haven’t seen Frozen, but always worried I was going to die on a chairlift as a kid. Probably b/c where we skied, the chairlifts didn’t have lap bars. I was so afraid of falling out and dying.
    Have you seen Audition? I always used to see it at Blockbuster. It looks terrifying, but no one would ever watch it with me. I hate watching scary movies alone. Just wondering if it’s any good.
    Thank you for this list!

  33. 33
    Elmstreet
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    @Jessi: Rob Zombie walked out of the last fifteen minutes of Audition, because it was too sick and gorey for him to handle. True story, ROB ZOMBIE.

    I asked my movie buff friend to watch it for me and he said it took awhile to get into, but once it did, it was badass, bloody, and he could see how it would be frightening.

  34. 34
    Valentine
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    the first time I saw Evil Dead, it scared me silly – I slept with the lights on for a week.

  35. 35
    SexyPanda
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    @Classy: I was working night shift as a dispatcher at the time and had ALL THE TIME in the world to watch crap. Jack Frost was so, so bad, it came all the way back around to being good.

    Let the Right One In is sitting on the shelf in front of the TV as I speak. I think this weekend is the time to watch it. Yay!

  36. 36
    Dawn
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    Bloody isn’t scary. Bloody is just gross. It always amazes me how many people mistake bloody for scary. If all you want is gore, go watch a Saw movie. Truly good scary movies are so worth it.

  37. 37
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    Good point, Dawn. I love a good fright but hate too much gore. I don’t think I could watch Audition..I’m not one for visceral porn. Yes, Saw is just blood and guts..I prefer a tense chase seen wherever time the potential gets away, the killer slowly stalks them while they pause to catch their breath. That’s why Mike Myers is one of my favorite killers. Have we ever seen him run?

  38. 38
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    Okay, that sentence should read: I prefer a tense chase SCENE where every time the potential victim gets away, the killer slowly stalks them while they pause to catch their breath.”

  39. 39
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    “Alien” totes belongs on the list, if you ask me. It’s just so atmospheric and creepy. The rest of the series were all action movies, but “Alien,” the first and best, is a wholly terrifying experience. But mad props for including “Event Horizon” and “Wes Craven’s New Nightmare.” I haven’t seen any of the rest, but I’ll probably watch “Let Me In.”

    And “House of Leaves” f**ked my shit up. It affected my sleep. It affected me during the day time. I could not get it out of my head. I even spent like half an hour deciphering that coded note that Johnny Truant’s mom sent to him from the mental institution. It’s like 3 (or 4?) books put together. All of them effed up and amazing. I would love to see a movie version of it, but I don’t think that’s possible. And it would probably suck.

  40. 40
    spinal11
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    Great list! I’m a horror nut and I haven’t even heard of a few of these. Lake Mungo and House of the Devil are both going on my list, they look intriguing. I saw Event Horizon when I was about 14, and had to sleep in my mom’s room for two weeks after. There’s something about the remote loneliness of space that takes an already scary idea into stratospheric terror.

    I still think Last House on the Left is the scariest movie ever. The horror is presented in such a matter-of-fact and realistic way, it left me with a nihilistic hopeless feeling that lingered for a long time. It’s probably the only movie that made me actually throw up from sheer anxiety. Eden Lake and The Loved Ones were two other super scary/twisted ones – I haven’t seen Red State, but your description reminded me of both of those movies.

    @chaosbutterfly –
    Shutter isn’t Japanese, it’s Thai. And yes, it was really good. It reminded me of the Orphanage actually; the mix of horror and tragedy always gets me. It was different from the usual “scary black haired ghost” fare, if only because the ghost is sympathetic and by the end I was rooting for her to fuck everyone up.

    I started to watch the Orphanage on a cold dark winter night alone in Kiev, and I turned it off. It really does get under your skin.

  41. 41
    spinal11
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    P.S. “House of Leaves” is amazing, but if you want something that smashes your brain to smithereens, read “2666″ by Roberto Bolano. At 900 pages it’s a grueling read, but after you’re done you feel like you’ve been through something completely unholy.

  42. 42
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    Also, since “The Thing” is out in theaters, I highly suggest, “The Thing” from 1980 with Kurt Russell.

  43. 43
    Liz
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    Alas, I agree with whoever said Frozen is lame. Has anyone ever seen “Wind Chill”? It’s a little horror flick with Emily Blunt before she was famous, and I actually thought it was pretty decent! Also, I love The Descent. One of my all time favorite scary movies.

  44. 44
    TheMiki TheMiki
    Posted October 26, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    I HATED The Descent. The first five minutes was great, and then there was an hour of girls bickering in a cave. A fucking hour of me being reminded why I don’t hang out with very many girls, and then by the time the cave people (who were awesome and all) showed up I was begging them to kill everyone just to shut them up.

  45. 45
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 5:41 am

    Well I used to love water until I saw Deep Star Six, but if things like that live in the ocean it’s best I stay away.

    The recent release of the Thing is quite good. It’s much better than Paranormal Activity 3.

    The Last Exorcism that was in movies last year was also good. It had a few butt clincher moments.

  46. 46
    themiki
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 6:05 am

    Really? I heard The Last Exorcism was awful. I think it’s streaming on Netflix though so I may have to add it to the queue now. I’m blaming you if it’s terrible though.

  47. 47
    Liz
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 6:50 am

    @themiki – Bwahaha! Well I guess it wouldn’t be suspenseful/scary if you want everyone killed.

  48. 48
    LAC LAC
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 8:40 am

    Sarcas! Girl, your last sentence gave me the willies! Balancing out the scares with images of the cutest widdle boo bears in their costumes.

    I loved the book “The Ruins” – creepy and relentless. But Hollywood went and fucked it up with the need to toy with the ending. “The Descent” is why I do not believe in cave exploration. Especially with bitches who cheat… :)

  49. 49
    LAC LAC
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 8:58 am

    TheMiki, for some reason, I cannot get past the first page of your second part. But I did manage to read it on my IPhone. Very good list. So many bad cheesy movies. Killer Klowns is one my favorites, although clowns scare the shit out of me. And dolls and puppets…any type of movie with those items in there, no matter how cheesy, is a hide under the cover time Although that is how they can get you and… somebody there? EEEEEEEEEGGGGHHH!!!

    :)

  50. 50
    Southern_Essence
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 9:02 am

    I hated The Last Exorcism! Seemed to me that all the good parts were what I’d seen in the trailers!

    My all-time favorite book is Stephen King’s Salem Lot. They did a made-for-tv movie on it back in the late 70′s, early 80′s with David Soul and I think Lance Kerwin…and it sucked ass!!….but the book, although quite long, is as terrifying as any book can be!

  51. 51
    Caito
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 9:03 am

    @Jessi I’ve seen audition. A friend used to lend me foreign movies, and that was one he let me borrow. I didn’t know what it was about, so the gory bits really shocked me. However, it wasn’t scary in the way that some movies make you afraid to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It was more cringe-inducing, and it left me with some unpleasant images in my head.

    @TheMiki Thanks so much for the lists! I’ve been watching horror movies for so many years that I’ve seen most of the ones on top 50 lists. It’s nice to have some new ones to check out–I watched House of the Devil last night (quite a good little movie, and I loved the 80′s style) and I have 2 more of your recommendations to watch over the next few days.

    I have to add that the original Black Christmas is worth watching, as is the original Last House on the Left. I had to turn off Eden Lake, as it was shot about 30 minutes from where I live, and the whole film was far too realistic (I swear some of those people are from my town).

  52. 52
    LAC LAC
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Southern, I am with you on Salem’s Lot. That school bus scene kept me up half the night. And I read that book during the day.

  53. 53
    themiki
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 9:21 am

    It’s so nice to hear people discussing books! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I clearly love me some trashy TV and silly movies and all that, but if you want actual scares then books are really where it’s at. Nothing gets inside your head the same way as a story that takes place inside your head. I read Salem’s Lot when I was kid (like ten or eleven) and I don’t remember it being especially scary. Maybe I should give it another read though. I may have not quite grasped the good parts. While we’re talking Steven King, the original short story of 1408 made me just about piss my pants and gave me horrible nightmares. The movie was fucking awful, but the short story was terrifying.

    Audition was horrifying, but definitely based more on gore than anything. Here’s my thought process while watching it for the first time: “Wow, this movie is kinda boring and there’s not really any horror of any sort and that guy that told me to watch this was full of crap because there’s—-OHMIGODWHATISSHEDOINGWITHTHEPIANOWIRE????”

    If you want a super fun Asian not quite horror movie check out 2LDK. It was amazing. Have any of you fine horror nerds seen the Memento Mori, Wishing Stairs, Whispering Corridors series? I have it in my Netflix queue but I’ve never heard anything about any of them. The descriptions just sounded creepy as hell. Oh, and Death Note! The movies are pretty good but the animated series is just awesome. Highly recommend that one.

    The original Black Christmas was great, and I actually didn’t hate the remake. It was fun and campy. I’ve seen both versions of Last House on the Left, but I found them more interesting than scary. Guess I’ve seen too many senseless killings in movies and that alone doesn’t mess with my head anymore.

    @LAC — So glad you got it to work. When I’m at home running Chrome everything looks fine, but at work where we have some ancient version of Firefox I get really weird frames on page 2. It’s very strange.

  54. 54
    Southern_Essence
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 9:29 am

    @LAC….omgosh…and the part where the Glick boy was scratching on Mark’s window trying to get Mark to let him in!!! I love all of King’s books, much more than the movies based on them. I think books get into your head more because you picture the scenes in your head as opposed to seeing someone else’s vision of them and our own deep, dark fears influence what we “see”.

  55. 55
    ceejay
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 10:36 am

    long-time lurker, rare commenter (for real, i think it’s been years), but I had to leave a fabulous, scare-the-bejeebus-out-of-you book recommendation: The Passage. It’s long as shit, but so good. Scared me to the point that I was afraid to turn the page, but so caught up that I just had to. If you’ve ever seen a grown ass woman curled up on her couch with one arm stretched out holding a Kindle and the hand covering her eyes – then stop looking through my window, you perv! For real though, I read The Exorcist alone during a storm and power outage and was completely unphased. I was tempted to finish reading The Passage in a church b/c I was so creeped out…

    Anyway, props on the excellent list. Agree w/all except Frozen, but I hate being cold, hate skiing and hate a-hole douchebags. I was totally rooting for the wolves!

  56. 56
    LAC LAC
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 11:10 am

    Southern, you are right about King’s books sometimes not translating well to screen. I did enjoy the miniseries “The storm of the century” – damn creepy and what a God awful choice to make. “Give me what I want and I will go away”.

  57. 57
    Southern_Essence
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Exactly right, LAC. Pet Semetary was not a terrible movie (since it was theater-released and not made-for-tv), but if you compare it to the book, it does not measure up at all! I kinda enjoyed IT, but I had a huge ass crush on Richard Thomas back then…lol

  58. 58
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    I read Pet Cemetery when I was thirteen and I freaked out! I lived in a Brownstone in BK and I never wanted to go downstairs to the kitchen by myself because I though Gage was hiding in the foyer to the basement. I just knew he was there…waiting! Of all the horror novels I read as tween, including IT and Cujo, no villain got inside my head more than Gage. I’d go head to head with Pennywise before I’d let that two year old come at me brandishing a scalpel.

    Has anyone read Haunted? It’s from Chris Palahniuk, the guy who wrote Fight Club. I tried to read it last year and chickened out after the first or second chapter. I literally threw the book across the room and curled into a ball. A horror vet like myself couldn’t handle it, and the villain hadn’t even showed up yet! If the author subjects us to this in the opening chapters, then surely I couldn’t handle what was to follow. I really want to know what happens in the book so I’m having my friend read it first and Mif he gets through it okay then I’ll give it a go. Maybe.

  59. 59
    themiki
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    Haunted was great, but not so much scary. Disturbing, for sure. Which stories made you put it down? I haven’t read it in a while and I don’t remember which ones get told first. I’m assuming “Guts” had something to do with it, because that one made my stomach hurt.

  60. 60
    Southern_Essence
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    We should all do like Joey Tribiani….put the scary books in the freezer. lol

  61. 61
    Southern_Essence
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    @sarcasatir Gage wants to play wid youuuuuuuu. (creepest line spoken by a toddler EVER!)

  62. 62
    LAC LAC
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    Southern, thank you for the funny Joey reference and the very cruel Gage reference that followed! LOL!! Sarcas, that book had me freaked out in the day (why do I do that to myself?) King spares no one in that book.

  63. 63
    LAC LAC
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    I would read the anthologies that would be put together by Alfred Hitchcock. Man, he picked some humdingers. And of course, “The Lottery”…that is why I cannot live in small towns, because I would pick the one with that shit going on. Or be known as the town floozy. Either one would be bad. :)

  64. 64
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    Yes, it was Guts! I just couldn’t..I couldn’t cope. *shudders*

    @southern: LOL. I have a toddler now..and I’m keeping her away from the knives! (and the highways, and Indian burial grounds, for that matter.)

    @LAC: My teacher assigned us to read the lottery in 3rd or 4th grade. What was she thinking? I ended up loving it, though and thus started my quest for books with the most unexpected/brilliant plot twists.

  65. 65
    lindaw205
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    Salems Lot scared the crap out of me – I would put my kiddies to bed and the ex was working the midnight shift AND we lived in a split level so as I was readiing at night, alone, I kept thinking I could hear that Glick kid scratch, scratch, scratching….still scares me just thinking about it.

  66. 66
    Dawn
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    Salem’s Lot was definitely one of King’s scariest. Gerald’s Game also scared the crap out of me. One of his best stories, I think, was in his book, Different Seasons, called The Breathing Method. I think it was something of a forerunner to Peter Straub’s Ghost Story, one of the best ghost books, ever, along with an early work of his called Julia.

    The original The Haunting, from Shirley Jackson’s book, with Julie Harris, sent chills down my spine.

    Of course, I will stay up till all hours if Rosemary’s Baby is on. I can always go for a good Ruth Gordon flick.

  67. 67
    Dawn
    Posted October 27, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    BTW, I’d love to read Part II, but my computer ends with the little video clip. No page numbers or arrows to move to the next page, and comments are also cut off :(

  68. 68
    themiki
    Posted October 28, 2011 at 6:33 am

    @dawn – Try this and let me know if it helps. Sorry for the bugginess.

    http://www.tvgasm.com/recaps/best-horror-movies-part-two-the-bad/?pag=2

  69. 69
    rayplayhockey
    Posted October 30, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    Forgive me–first post. “Haven’t seen the Swedish version of “Let Me In” (“Let the Right One In”). Maybe it’s a thousand times better and blows this American version out of the water.” Yes IMHO the Swedish film is better on all counts! :) Luckily I sawr the Swedish version first. To me, “Let Me In” telegraphed some of the more intense scenes. I thought it was better the second time. My only problem was that very often only half of the subtitles showed on the screen. I’ve been through every setting on my tv and Netflix and PS3 but no luck. So I’m going to check that “problem” box on NetFlix once-a-day until something happens. (Like maybe I die of old age. Unless I’m a vampire which I am, or am I…?! Do the research.)

    @lindaw205 Totally agree with you about LROI.

  70. 70
    rayplayhockey
    Posted October 30, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Ugh these long, boney, ancient, claw-like fingernails like a vampire would have (Or would he?) make it difficult for me to type…what you might call….words. I meant to say in my previous post was “thought LROI was better the second time.” Apologies for the mess.

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