The Biggest Loser Recap: loveisrespect.org

Hi there! Taterz here again with another episode of TBL. I would have posted this sooner but I’m terrible and didn’t even realize that another episode had aired. Oops. Anyway, thank you all soooo much for your comments! I love any and all so keep them coming. Well let’s get to it.

Previously on TBL, kids were brought on the show, Jillian was back and loud, and also her team kind of sucked. Blue team won and her white team lost, sending TC the kid crusher back home sobbing. First scene is the white team lamenting how sad they are that he went home. Pam says she can’t get his sobbing out of her head.

We’re totes sad, but Nate, you’re next.

Allison comes to meet with all of the contestants and drops ANOTHER HUGE BOMB ON THE CONTESTANTS.

Do you guys smell that? 

Whoever smelt it dealt it.

The red line is back this week! The white team is understandably worried. She then tells the contestants that the trainers have designed their very own gyms. Guarantee Jillian’s is a torture chamber. I think we can all guess what Bob’s looks like…

I’m borderline psychic with this show.

Bob has brought in a bunch of really hot people to workout with his contestants. I don’t think that’s very nice but I also read an article yesterday that if you work out with someone prettier than you you tend to better. So maybe Bob knows what he’s doing? But then again based on your guys’ comments it sounds like all 3 of these people train contestants in a pretty terrible way. Anyway, Dolvett calls his gym area “Dolvett’s Dungeon” all with a creepy white smile on his face.

Step into my van gym. I’ve got candy.

Utah isn’t medically cleared to participate so he gets to walk. Jillian says the best tool these contestants have is their own weight. I have to agree with her on that. I sweat the most when I’m lugging my chubby ass around the gym so she’s onto something. Cut to Bob’s group and it isn’t long before Mike is doing this:

Okay, here is where I take issue with the way they train these people. Somebody said working them until they vomit consistently isn’t the best way to get permanent results. They know that the contestants aren’t used to strenuous physical activity but they still put them through vigorous workouts, which would be fine if they were all training to be like those other athletes and can devote everyday to working out like this, but they can’t. Anyway, rant over, I still hate Mike and I still hate Bob’s tattoos and his douchey glasses.

Over to the red team, we find out that Joe used to be a football player and was a free agent for the Miami Dolphins. Now he’s lamenting how he went from a professional athlete to this:

Joe Montana you are not.

But now I’m going to call him Flipper so there’s that. Jillian’s team continues to suck and she’s pissed because she can’t ride them across her gym or have them pull her too far before they collapse.

MUSH! MUSH! MUSH!

Last week the guys sucked it up and now it’s Pam and Dani doing it. Dani can’t play water polo because she’s self conscious about her weight. Snooze. I wish these three had a better story. I feel like Flipper and Utah at least are interesting while these three are just kind of meh. I’m trying to find something that will keep me interested in these three and so far nothing. Why does all of their workouts eventually turn into this:

Peace man.

Jillian freaks the fuck out and wonders what’s wrong with these people. Physical training at its finest people. Pam is scared of the pain of the workouts and doesn’t want to fight. Then she says “Bear Claws” instead of “bear crawls” and HA. Then she says those are really good in the middle of a freakout by Jill. Pahahah well everyone meet Bear Claw.

Utah is meeting with the Doctor and finds out he has sleep apnea. He stops breathing for up to 40 seconds at a time. That is pretty scary. Pam has super fatty blood, and he shows her the vial of normal blood compared to hers and hers is full of it. Blegh. I usually take this Doctor for his word, he usually seems legit. Blue team older lady has “off the charts diabetes” and Mike’s arteries in his neck have calcified. Yikes. 

The white team is meeting with Jillian about what happened at the workout. She says they mistake her disappointment for fear. She’s afraid of them going home and that’s why she gets up in their face and that it’s exhausting for her. Pam says she doesn’t need Jillian screaming in her face and that it flusters her. Understandable. Dani says she needs reminders that she’s not pathetic. Also understandable. I think Jill could be hard on them without being a total bitch, but then again maybe not. Either way, they suck and I bet they’ll go home. 

Challenge time! They’ve brought in Antonio Gates from the Chargers, and the children! Pam calls Sunny her good luck charm since she helped them win last time. Biingo says he used to hide food near his bed at night. Lindsay loves Mac and Cheese and Sunny has a hard time balancing everything. The challenge is pretty straight forward. They’ll be doing football drills and the team with the fastest time wins. Yawn. This episode has been pretty boring…I’m falling asleep. 

They’re separating the challenge into events. The first one is running ladders between Alex (blue), Danni (white) and Francelina (red, renamed Francey pants). Bear Claw can’t compete for white wah. Francey pants is excited because she did this in basketball, softball, and the army reserves. Welll that experience doesn’t matter because she gets last while Danni gets first. The way they’re keeping score is by timing each event and then adding them all up, with the longest time losing and the shortest time winning. 

The second event is other football drills like hitting the bags and high stepping through those rope grid things. Danni is successful here too. Color me impressed.

Who woulda thought?

The next event is pushing those sled things and this time it’s Nate going for white, the other guy for blue (he’s boring so no name) and Lisa for red. Lisa struggles and gets last but is still proud and other guy wins for blue. THIS IS SO BORING. Yes I’m still complaining about it. Thank god it’s the last event. More standard football drills and Flipper kicks ass while annoying Mike sucks and Nate does okay. They don’t show the times but I think white won and even though Flipper did great I still think they got last. The fact that I’m enjoying these Prilosec OTC commercials more than this challenge is pretty sad. And white wins. YAWN.

It’s workout time. Dolvett reminds us how bad week 2 usually sucks. Gina (old lady from blue, i finally remembered her name!) sums up how we all feel about this episode:

I’m bitching about watching it, I’m sorry you’re living it.

Nate and Bear Claw’s stories are being highlighted and Jillian is being really nice to Nate. I’m guessing one of them will go home. Either that or Flipper. The producers seem to highlight whoever is going home each week so those are my guesses. It will probably be Bear Claw which is sad cause I don’t mind her. GOD WE’RE ONLY HALF THROUGH THIS.

Biingo is back! And he fractured his foot playing basketball. They’re doing fitness tests to see how these kids compare to the average kid their age.