The Biggest Loser Recap: loveisrespect.org

Pretty much all of them are wayyy behind and I can relate. It does suck being waited for and what not. Bob is worried about Biingo not being able to workout so he makes sure he watches his sugar. This is kind of hard when these kids are pretty likable…I wanna be a bitch to them but the only thing is that fucking extra “i” in Biingo’s name and that’s the dumbass who named him’s fault. MOVING ON.

Last Chance Workout! Pretty standard (the theme for this episode?) There are a few notable comments to made though. The first, and definitely the most important, is Dolvett’s rock hard nipples.

And that lady’s fucked up looking knees.

Really though, I mean my nipples look like that too in the gym, but I’m chubby and my chest hair usually cushions that shit. The white team is feeling better about their chances since they won. I still think Bearclaw’s a goner. They’re all bouncing medicine balls and Bob tells them to picture Jillian’s head underneath the medicine ball while they’re doing it.

I totally do the same thing except I imagine I’m pooping on her face. And not in the sexual way. Like the guy in the blue. 

The fact that I feel the need to clarify whether or not shitting on someone is sexual says a lot about what kind of weird shit there is on the internet…And Jillian says she’s gonna go Clockwork Orange on their asses. ……..sooo she’s gonna terrorize their towns and rape and humiliate their women? I wouldn’t put it past her…Gina is understandably scared of Jillian. 

Gina, it’s called loveisrespect.org. 

Is anyone else loving Gina? She’s like that super wise, brutally honest chain smoking aunt that I always seemed to identify with.  I want her and Utah to have their own reality show. Speaking of Utah, Dolvett is gonna make him cum like any second. 

I love a good showmance. 

Wait, who is this?

Really though…Bearclaw is kicking ass. And actually so is Nate until…

In his defense that’s how I feel when staring down Jillian too, so.

That last chance workout was the most interesting part of this entire episode. My god man. It’s weigh in time! And it appears that Allison took a page out of Dolvett’s book.

Those nipples still don’t distract me from her Lizzie McGuire (spelling?) hair cut.

At least Alex from the blue team is really pretty, so there’s that. I wonder if Allison and Jillian know that they’re the 2nd and 3rd most fuckable person on this show (if that)…That stranger’s name is apparently David and he’s apparently on crutches and loses 9 pounds. Gina loses 7, Alex 6, Michael 14, and Jeff, who loss 29 last week loses NOTHING. Wow. I can’t say I’m surprised. Losing nearly 30 lbs isn’t healthy, I know it’s awesome but I’m sure his body is in starvation or something. Gotta love the week 2 curse. Red team has to lose more than 31 lbs to beat the red team. Well Dolvett’s boots are back so shield your eyes.

And if Jillian was going for the power lesbian lawyer look, IT’S WORKING.