The City: Hounds of Elle

Tonight on The City:  Olivia gets an interview, but not my respect.  Erin keeps trying to push British Louise in, and Olivia out.  And Whit is on her own at a fashion show in Miami.

“Schlemiel!  Schlemazel!  Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!”

So, I do the “About Last Nights” for both The City and The Hills, and have you guys noticed that The Hills is all about drinking, and The City is all about work?  They never go out on The City.  And all they do is go out on The Hills.  I’m writing my dissertation about that interesting dichotomy.  I’m totally not, but I bet someone has . . .  Anyway.

So, we just jump right into Miami.  Welcome to Miami, as Will Smith would say.  About a decade ago.  Back when he was relevant.  Sort of.  Whit and Roxy want to get all “super prepared” for the fashion show — they need to choose models today, and then there’s some cocktail party where they can also show one outfit.  Or something.  So I guess there’s two fashion shows.  Kind of.

Erin and Olivia walk into Joe Zee’s office, and he is PISSED!  Okay, he’s not.  He’s the same old Joe Zee.  There’s some sort of party for Zac Posen’s new Target line, and Olivia says that maybe she can set something up.  And you guys?

I think Erin gets physically ill whenever she hears Olivia talk.

Joe thinks the Zac Posen shindig is big big big!  So it’s totes important for Olivia to get an interview with Zac Posen.  She needs to “deliver,” because British Louise wants “to take her place.”  That Joe, he really hammers it home.  He’s a real ball buster, that one.

“I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!  GRRRRRR!!!!”

Back in Miami, people gather ’round for the Gen Art Fashion Show prep.  Lauren and Marcia are the producers, and they give the designers the whats-it on what’s goin’ down at the Gen Arts.  The designers have to pick one specific model to model an outfit at the cocktail party.  Whit decides on Erica and tells her she’s specifically picking her for the show, but some Romina chick also has Erica put some of her clothes on.  Oh, hell no!  Whit and Roxy put the smack down and call dibs on Erica.  Because she’s an accessory.  Not a person.

Time for the Zac Posen Target Collection Party!  Claire Danes is there.  Do you think she had to sign a release form?  Why should you care about that?  You shouldn’t.  I don’t know why I asked that, really.  I just wasted 10 seconds of your life.  Or 30, if you’re a slow reader.  Sound out the words, take your time, it’s cool.  You guys, this party is kind of lame and tacky.  I think they actually bought the party favors at Target, at that little $1.00 section when you first walk in.

Exhibit A.

And I know I said this in my About Last Night thingie, but the music and lighting make it sound and look like a gay rave from 1999.  Look, I can recycle sort-of-funny jokes if I want to!  Olivia finally gets an interview with Zac Posen.  She spends about 90% of it talking about herself and how she’s going to Japan — just like Zac Posen! — and how it will be her first time there — just like Zac Posen!

“If I was poor enough to shop at Target, I’d totes buy your clothes there.  Along with some Archer Farms Cheese Straws.”

Seriously, you guys — those cheese straws are the bomb.  Also, I had no idea Zac Posen was the bastard result of a drunken threeway between The Little Rascal’s Alfalfa, Quentin Tarantino, and Orville Redenbacher.

“Sad but true.”

Aw, I kid, Zac Posen, I kid.  We cool, we cool.  Joe says he’s proud of Olivia.  Oy.

Whit and Roxy are still in Miami.  They head out to a store called Koko and Palenki, which I’m betting is named after the owner’s dogs.  Roxy says that Whit’s stuff would be perf in the store.  Shari, the stylist for Koko and Blahblah comes up to talk to Whit and Rox, and Whit introduces herself to her, and Roxy asks to see a buyer about getting Whit’s stuff at the store.  So, Pamela, the owner of this store named after a pekingese and a labradoodle, comes out to talk to Whit, and says that she’ll be at the Gen Arts show and the cocktail party as well.  Exciting!

Okay.  Back to the good stuff, by which I mean Elle.  Erin, Keith, and Robbie are in Robbie’s office watching Olivia’s interview with Zac Posen.  Oh, Keith Pollock.

Why won’t you love me?

He’s dreamy.  Oh my gosh, you guys, I think Olivia is giving Erin an ulcer!

Or at the very least, H. pylori.

Keith says that Olivia’s pretty.  No, Keith, YOU’RE pretty.  So pretty. Robbie says there are “two kinds of people in the business — work horses and show ponies.”  Robbie, those aren’t people.  Those are horses.  And ponies.  Then Erin shows them British Louise’s interview with Badgley Mischka from last week.  Robbie and Keith like British Louise, but Robbie says she trusts Joe’s judgement in hiring . . . Olivia . . . seriously.  And Keith says that Olivia’s “capable,” and maybe they can both do something.  And then Erin goes to her desk for her usual lunch of Pepto-Bismol and Tums.  Poor kid.

Time for the Gen Art cocktail party!  Everyone drinks, and then Kristin shows up with Brody and everyone makes a big deal out of it for 7 minutes.  Ugh, dammit!  Wrong show.  My bad.  The designers show off the models and the cocktail dresses they’re wearing from their collection.  Romina talks to the ladies from the Turner and Hooch boutique, and they seem interested.  Roxy tells Whit to get in there and pimp herself out . . . so Whit does, and the ladies tell her that they’re looking forward to seeing the show.

Showtime!  Models get their hair did.  But there’s drama!  One model didn’t show up!  Oh no!  But there are back-up models.  Wow.  How sad would it be to be a back-up model?  Anyway, there are some problems with show, and Roxy tries to talk to Marcia, but Marcia’s all, No get the eff out of my face. Yeowza.  Whit talks with some other designers (I think?) and they all talk about how there should have been a rehearsal, and there’s sound problems and junk.  Before the show starts, Whit and Roxy go up to Marcia and Lauren and ask about the show, and they say it’s all under control.  Roxy and Whit discuss amongst themselves about how Kelly would have freaked the eff out at the Gen Arts show because it’s all a big bunch of eff up.

“G-G-G-Ghost!”

Time for the fashion show!  Bottom line:  It goes pretty well, actually, even though it’s complete chaos with Whit and her models and their hair.  Now, I think I’ve been focusing a lot of my screengrabs lately on Olivia and Erin (because Erin rocks my face off), so here are some pics of Whitney’s fashiony type thingies:

Apparently, there was a sale on metallic silver fabric in NYC.  Or something.

At Elle, Erin’s making phone calls and trying not to stab Olivia with the scissors on her desk.

I wasn’t kidding.

British Louise, fresh from a meeting with Robbie, shows up to talk to Erin.  Erin’s like, I think you’d do a great job because you’re “articulate, you do your homework, and you’re reliable and on time.”  Hee.  I know it’s a tad rude because she’s saying this in a loud voice directly in front of Olivia, but I really don’t care.  Because it’s all true. Speaking of rude beyotches, Olivia totes interrupts Erin in mid-sentence to introduce herself and then takes British Louise to the accessories closet.  Wow.  I really, really dislike Olivia.  For many, many reasons.  So, reason I don’t like/respect Olivia #1,432:  For pretending to be an actual bona fide employee of Elle, just now.

In Miami, after the show, the store ladies go back to talk to Romina, who tells them her inspiration was “Monet.”  That’s kind of trite and definitely eyeroll-worthy, but it beats Whit’s inspiration of, like, girls who like to work and then go out after work to maybe get drinks or something.  Whit, in a rare display of cunning, invades Romina’s space to talk to the store ladies, who say that her collection was very fresh and they’d love to have her stuff in their store!  Yay!

Next Week:  Some designer or model or celebrity or something comes to Elle, and gives Olivia some crap.  Sweet.  And then Whit meets with buyers.  Or something. And Olivia tells Seth that she doesn’t “give two shits about Erin’s opinion.”  Meow!