The City: The Employee From Elle

This Week on The City: Roxy’s given some responsibility and proves that she can do her job. As long as someone else is whispering the instructions to her. Whit gets some more exposure. And Olivia fails. Multiple times. And it’s awesome.

And poor, poor Kevin has to put up with Olivia’s shit for another week.

Whit’s at her office over at Peep’s Rev, and she’s thinking about what Joe and Anne Slowey told her last week. You know, about how she sucks. Not that Whit does suck per se, but that’s what they said. Anne said she didn’t want to see anything that she hasn’t seen before. You know what I’d say to that? “Oh, okay, how about I squat down and take a big steamer on a sweater dress and slap that effer on a model? Ya see that before, Anne? Huh? Huh!?!?!?!” Kelly comes in and tells Whit that even though she doesn’t have a show in this year’s fashion week, she should find some way to soak it up. But then when Whit says she wants to go to some of the shows, Kelly tells her it’s not worth it unless she’s backstage or in the first three rows. Those are some awesome mixed signals, Kell. Kelly also needs help with one of the fashion shows, and Roxy says she’ll do it, and Kelly of course tells her that if “you fuck up, I will fire you.” Joe Zee — take a lesson here. Credits.

Staff meeting at Elle. Anyone think these staff meetings are asinine? What about productivity and sales and TPS reports? This whole meeting is basically about Olivia securing an interview with Marc Jacobs, who is a “good friend.” Ugh. Is there anyone famous or fashion-y who isn’t Olivia’s “good friend?”

“I can probably squeeze that in after Donatella, Calvin, Tommy, and Donna and I have our weekly lunch.”

Erin talks to a guy named Keith about her meeting last week with British Louise. And she’s all, “We need someone consistent who is going to appear in all the videos.” In front of Olivia! And everyone else! At the staff meeting! Love. Joe looks uncomfortable, but of course he doesn’t say anything. It’s fashion week! All the Elle peeps need to do a good job! And before we go:

YUM. Total yummage.

You know, I thought about posting some some eye candy for the straight men, but then I realized that no straight man watches this show. And if you’re a straight man and you watch this show and you’re reading this recap: Sweetie, no — You likey the dongie. Admit it.

I paused my MTV online player, and look how horrible Roxy looks in this screengrab! That’s it — there isn’t really any other purpose here.

Roxy’s doing the seating for the David Delfin fashion show. Here’s the conversation between Whit and Roxy — Whit: “Seating’s hard!” Roxy: “Seating’s really hard!” Sammie’s here! Yay. How much do we love Sammie? So much. Sammie in, Roxy out. I mean, seriously. Sammie has front row tickets for herself and Whit at the Charlotte Ronson show! Do you know what this means?! Seriously, do you know? Because I don’t. Kelly comes in, just to say hey. Oh, and also to tell Whit that Maybelline’s interested in her fashions. Because Whit’s makeup designs are flawless. What’s that? She designs clothes, not makeup? I see. Well, then she’d be perfect for Maybelline!

After some major whiplash-inducing shots of Manhattan by night, we’re whisked off to Bryant Park for the Charlotte Ronson fashion show. Whit’s hair looks really good right now.

WTF is Matt Dillon doing at the show?

British Louise shows up at the show, and Sammie has some shocking (well, shocking for this show, which honestly, ain’t sayin’ much) news for us:

SHUT. UP!!

No way! British Louise is Freddie Fackelmayer’s female funbag! Wow. Who saw that coming? I sure didn’t. Models strut down the runway and think about all the blow they’ll be able to snort off the backstage toilets after the show. Afterwards, Sammie asks Louise if she’s Freddie Fackelmeyer’s girlfriend — turns out, not anymore. Then they chat about nail polish, and their jobs, and British Louise is completely genuinely interested in Sammie’s job and Whit’s fashion line, and how can you not like Louise? How fun would it be to go for drinks with Erin, Louise, and Sammie?! Oh my god, I would die. I would just . . . I would die.

Maybe it’s Maybelline? Oh, it is — it’s Maybelline’s headquarters in Manhattan. They’re in the salon, where some random girl is getting makeup put on her, and Whit’s showing them her looks. She says that “her Girl” is a “motivated career girl, but also able to glam it up and accessorize and go out at night.” No wonder Olivia hates Whit’s fashions — they’re motivating, and Olivia can’t have that. Apparently Maybelline’s having or hosting a fashion show in Miami and they say it’d be cool if Whit was a part of it. Yay . . .? I have mixed feelings about this, you guys, but whatever.

Jaime Pressly is bemused.

Are you ready for the Marc Jacobs show? So is everyone else! Except Olivia, most likely. She tells Joe that everything’s set up for the interview, no problem. Which is great since Joe has to leave and can’t supervise her. I’m sure it will all work out. I mean, Olivia’s in charge, so what can go wrong? Time for the fashion show! And I’m sorry, Marc Jacob, but all your clothes this season look like crap you can get at Old Navy for $1,000 less. But I’m sure Anne “I don’t want to see anything I’ve seen before” Slowey will be all over this collection like stank on shit.

Oh my gosh, I loved you in “The Green Mile” and “Jurassic Park III!”

After the show, Olivia goes backstage and kisses some ass with some Marc Jacobs people, and then starts to go in to see him. She’s all, “Um, can I bring Elle . . .?” in a complete half-assed voice, and then tells poor Kevin, her producer and cameraman to “hang tight” for just a minute. Oh, poor Kevin.

Wah, wah, waaaaaaahhhhh.

Okay, I’m kind of already sick of the fashion shows. It’s time for the David Delfin show, the one Kelly and Roxy are overseeing. Kelly tells Roxy not to be “wacky.” Hee.

“So, I should get on the intercom and tell people that this is the Ballerina Hooker fashion show. Right? Cuz . . . that sounds right to me.”

Joe, Erin and Seth are at the show. I’m kind of wondering why Seth is there. I mean, shouldn’t he be at Robbie’s house, loving her kids for her? Whatevs. Joe and Erin discuss how Olivia should be doing her job right now and junk. And then British Louise shows up, and Joe says she should sit with them at the Badgley Mischka show. Well, that’s convenient . . . considering this is an Adam DiVello production. Up in the director’s booth, Kells is telling Roxy what’s up with the show. Considering David Delfin’s fashions, I’m just gonna go ahead and say that he’s a big fan of Mad Men. After it’s done, Kelly tells Roxy she did great, but honestly, it seemed like Kelly was just telling her what to say and when to say it the whole time. But then again, considering this is Roxy’s first show, I’m sure that had to be done. Uh! Why am I defending Roxy all of a sudden?! I need a shower . . .

I’m back. I feel better. Back at the Marc Jacobs show, Olivia tells Kevin that Marc’s not doing press, but it’s “fine” and she’ll “talk to Joe” and they’ll “work something out.” Business ethics and priorities!

It’s time for the Badgley Mischka fashion show. Joe’s there, Erin’s there . . . but where is Olivia? Joe gets a text from her. Turns out, she overslept. You know what? I’m gonna call it — Olivia is just plain rich and lazy. She’s just lazy. She’s like that girl you work with who always calls in sick and for some reason, still works there. I mean, holy crap — her job is to freaking interview fashion designers for a magazine! It’s not like she’s a customer service rep for an insurance company! I would freaking KILL for her job. Ridiculous. Joe agrees, with the ridiculous part, at least. Oh, hey, it turns out British Louise has just shown up. Joe has this crazy idea to ask Louise if she’ll do the interviews, but Louise is like, No, I can’t do that. I’m kidding. Of course she says yes.

Olivia’s just now getting to the show, and Joe’s like, Yeah, we had to have British Louise do the interview since you’re rich and lazy and think that you can just show up to your job whenever you want. And British Louise is a great interviewer, and she’s also giving some great direction to Kevin. Poor Kevin. I bet he’s just glad to have something to do. Erin tells British Louise that she did a fantastic job and that she should do all the interviews for Elle, and good ole Louise is all, “I don’t want to push anyone out of a job here.” And Erin’s all, “I think that person needs to be pushed.”

“Out of a cab. Into oncoming traffic.”

Peep’s Rev. Roxy tells Whit that the show went well, and then Kelly calls Roxy and Whitney into her office. Kelly says that she’s in a “rare cheerleader mood” today.

Clearly.

She says that the David Delfin people called and said the show went great, so congrats Roxy. And Maybelline called and picked Whitney Eve as one of their collections for the Miami show. And I’m sure that had nothing to do with the fact that a reality show will be filming it and it would be great exposure. Nothing. To do. With that. At all. Kelly says that she’s not able to go, and Whit asks who from Peep’s Rev will be going with her to help. And Kelly says that Roxy will be going. So it will just be Roxy and Whitney. Planning Whit’s fashion show. In Miami. Just the two of them. Which includes Roxy. Planning. A fashion show. Roxy. Planning.

Elle again. Do you guys think they have potluck days at Elle like they do at other jobs? Where like, Joe brings in sausage balls, Robbie brings her homemade potato salad, and Erin brings deviled eggs? I’m just wondering. Seth comes in to go over Robbie’s schedule with her.

“My daughter’s hamster died, so you’ll have to tell her. And give my son a hug on Thursday. He just needs one a week. Thanks.”

And then Erin comes in to meet with Robbie. Erin tells Robbie about some Today Show thing coming up, and then segues into telling Robbie that Olivia got nothing with Marc Jacobs, and that there’s this British Louise, and what would Robbie think about having her do all the Elle.com stuff, since Olivia has the professionalism of a spanish peanut? Robbie: “Is she valuable to you — Olivia?” Erin: “No.” Robbie: “Um . . . Okay. Okay. I’ll make a phone call.” Oh yeah! Love.

Next Week: Roxy and Whit hit Miami for the fashion show, but things are not so smooth. Joe tells Olivia that Louise wants to take her place, and Hot Keith wants Louise to do all the Elle.com stuff from now on. Oh, dip!