The Fashion Show: Finale!

Well, we’ve made it – this is the season finale of The Fashion Show! Time to sew this thing up.

Oh yes, I can be quippy too.

We meet up with our final three – Morris Day, Dominique and of course, the infamous CalTran. They give us the usual filler about how exciting it is, how close they are, how much they want to win.

So let’s go glue together some clothes!

They go visit the judges room and peruse all of their designs from the whole season. Iman welcomes them, and says looking at the clothes makes her recall the highs and the lows of the competition. Cue more filler in the form of flashbacks.

Lil Dom’s 90’s grunge and old umbrella dress have made her the sleeper hit of the season in the judges’ eyes. But then she turns to CalTran and recalls his very first Fashion Show design – yellow satin with diamonte. Iman says it’s still giving her nightmares.

Now it can plague your dreams too.

Hee hee, oh me.

But when he moved to House of Nami, they started seeing his potential. First with his femme fatale look, then with his black eccentric glamour dress. She tells him this is the chance he’s been waiting for to show them the real CalTran.

As for Morris Day – based on his ridiculous cat toy necklace, Iman never dreamed she’d be able to take him seriously. But he proved her wrong with sophisticated and flattering looks. She can not wait to see his vision “unleashed”.

And now, it’s a fresh start. No more houses, no more challenges. Just the designers and their collections. Everyone gets $3,600 – kind of a random number, wonder how they came to that one? Plus whatever they earned on their wins.

So that’s $1,000 for Morris Day who won two challenges, and $500 for Dom who also won two but opted for immunity instead of money for one. And let’s see now…oh, that’s right, zipzilchzero for CalTran who landed here by the grace of his glue gun and hysterically illiterate ass.

They are each to create nine looks. In one week. The dramatic piano music begins as each designer wanders to a different corner of the room to sketch. After spending weeks vetoing every single idea anyone else had, CalTran is now lamenting having to design alone. I love this guy.

Dom also points out the silence – oh, but she’s taken it to heart and is designing her collection around it. Fantastic, people love wearing silence almost as much as they love wearing air. Morris Day wants to make something special in memory of his Mom.

In the fabric store that isn’t Mood, CalTran is keeping it simple with black. Dom is blathering on about chiffon. Morris Day isn’t finding any “meaning” in the fabric. Until he finds something red, which apparently screams Mama Day. His other logic is that all women look good in red. CalTran immediately informs us that he’s not a fan, as only CalTran can.

“Horrible!”

“Come on, boy you have $4,000!”

“Poorly cheap!”

For some reason, he spares Morris Day this critique in person which is a bit of a disappointment to the avid CalTran watcher, but hopefully the truth will spill out in the work room. Remember, by 3 PM the bitch comes out, and this looks like maybe a morning run to the fabric store.  Nobody invited CalTran to this finale to play nice.

Oh, and here it comes! Didn’t have to wait long for this at all. Except that Morris Day is talking nice about CalTran, who he now thinks is talented with great concepts. Huh. Well, that backfired. And then, in comes Isaac, and his first victim is CalTran.

He tells Isaac that he wants his collection to show his journey from an angry competitor in the beginning of the competition to a more peaceful person. Isaac suggests that he make all simple pieces with one crazy feature on each one. Then he advises CalTran to take his time with his clothes.

In other words, put down the staple gun and give the sewing machine a try.

Also, I’m bringing Wrangler jean jackets back.

Next up is Dom. She loves her wool and her purple-y colors. Her inspiration is noise, to silence. She has a coat and a jumpsuit that he loves. He also loves the shirt she’s wearing right now.

And for Morris Day – Isaac tells him to be very careful with the red. He also thinks Morris Day has an awful lot going on in his sketches. “It has to progress,” he advises. Simple, simple, simple, Isaac admonishes. We’ll see how many cat toys that adds up to.

More talk of pressure, the journey, having come so far and in the case of Morris Day, there are apparently some guardian angels involved. CalTran tells us that his whole collection is black and gray. Because he’s a water sign you see, and water signs only wear black and stay away from red, because red means fire.

As he zips through his work, Morris Day and Dom both comment that his speediness and experience make him a threat. Morris Day tells a way sad story about when his Mom died, and how he’s dedicating the collection to her.

Dom reminds us of the journey from noise to silence, which I still don’t get. But now that Cesar’s gone, she’s picked up the fabric dying torch. She tells us she has new confidence as a designer, but it’s understated confidence – “Like lingerie” she explains, “You know you’re wearing it, but not everyone sees it.” I like! Oh, and she flat out mentions that it’s her homage to Cesar. And you know what? It’s pretty effing cool.

Viva Cesar!

Of course CalTran has to point out that Cesar’s tie-dyed dress got him sent home, but Dom loves her fabric. Then he wants to know how many garments Morris Day has completed. When he finds out it’s only one, he snorts. And naturally, here come the ever so helpful suggestions.

“They all look the same.”

“Leggings again?”

“You have to f$%k with the zipper, that’s what you need to do.”

And Morris Day is tired of hearing it! He tells CalTran he has a lot of work to do. CalTran gets the message, and tells him he’ll leave him alone. And then proceeds to prance over to his rack of completed garments and pretend to count. “….seven, eight, nine,” he clucks approvingly.

But he still has two days, and I guess he’s bored because he decides to make another dress. And this one is red! First of all, kind of rude to Morris Day. Secondly, what about red is fire is bad luck? But CalTran explains that he’s doing it for his lover, who “might” only have a few months to live. And he once again pledges to donate his entire would-be winnings to the Gay Men’s Health Crisis.

May as well make a 9,376th look.

The next day, it’s still pretty quiet. And then, in comes Iman. And no one is happy to see her, which must be pretty unusual for Iman.

Respect!  It’s Iman!

Well, she’s here for the inevitable twist – the 10th look. At this point in the competition, the judges are looking for range. So they have selected a design for each finalist, and packed it up in a nice envelope. CalTran is tasked with a pants suit, Morris Day has a strapless dress, and Dom is signed up for business attire.

Then Iman tells them that she knows they’re asking a lot, so each designer gets an extra set of hands. And in walks the parade of the ghosts of fashion shows past.  We are not skipping one, single page of the reality show competition playbook.

First up is Tamra, who’s there to help CalTran. He loves her, he says she makes him laugh. She’s also pretty much the only person in the competition still on speaking terms with him. I’m sure Morris Day will be gifted with Cesar, but instead he gets the GoCi monster. They too have a happy reunion.

And then, Dom looks to the door. Who will it be? And it’s her boyfriend, Outerspace Greenpeace David! In what must be the only shirt he owns. And it’s a very joyous reunion.

Puppies n’ love.

Everyone gets busy passing judgment disguised as helpfulness. Wretched GoCi mentions that Morris Day has lots sketched out and nothing done. Tamra loves what CalTran’s doing. Actually, what’s Tamra going to do since CalTran’s already done? Hopefully sit around and heckle people.

You call that a peplum?

Outerspace Greenpeace is very sweet and complimentary about Dom and her collection. He says it speaks to where she is in life. “Thanks for believing in me,” she simpers.

New age guys are awesome when you’re 21 and consider a rose-quartz crystal significant jewelry.

Morris Day needs to get focused. That’s him talking, not me. He confers with the GoCi monster, who helps him design a strapless dress. I guess I never noticed it, but Morris Day only designs clothes with sleeves. Anyway, Morris Day is doing a lot of rambling and meandering, and the GoCi correctly points out that he’s in trouble.

Then it’s time for hair and makeup – they’re pretty excited to get to actually see their looks the day before the show. Dom’s models are basically being styled to look like her. Back in the studio, Outerspace is still talking about how great her clothes are, and she’s giggling over them.

Thank heavens we have CalTran there to give us his thoughts, which are that all her clothes look like potato sacks. He brags about his clothes that shape and flatter a woman’s body. Tamra also thinks he’s got it in the bag.

The models come and the models go, and then it’s the next day – time for the final Fashion Show! Normal backstage hustle and bustle, and then it’s time for the show. But there’s a surprise! The sappy music starts, and Stefan the fashion show director points out some special guests in the audience – it’s family!

Morris Day’s Dad, Dom’s parents and CalTran’s Mom who is totally adorable, and who CalTran also tells us could give a crap about fashion.

The first show is CalTran. It’s typical CalTran stuff, not bad!  His red dress at the end is a good show-stopper. So, as much as I love you dolls, there’s no way in hell I’m screen-grabbing 30 looks, so here’s my three favorites from each designer, and a link to all the photos on Bravo’s website.

Here’s my top three CalTrans:

Oh, and then we have the Bravo fake out, where we relive the love affair of Dom and Outerspace Greenpeace David. They giggle and flirt and Tamra wants to know what the hell happened while she was gone? Did they kiss? Was there a condom required? She wants details!

Then it’s time for Dom’s collection. She’s proud of her fearless little bird in the big city thing, and she loves her collection. She reminds us what a big deal it is to be showing her collection at age 21, and that she’s “not the quiet girl in the corner anymore”. She loves the tie dyed look on the runway, and thinks she did Cesar proud.

And finally, it’s time for Morris Day. Based on what we’ve seen this episode, I’m expecting full on disaster. I am definitely not expecting everything to be beige. But it pretty much is, except for a few red items at the end. More talking about how the collection represents the journey, but he also loves how it flows He loves his final red dress – it was the dress he always wanted to make for his Mom. And it is gorgeous. He sobs as it comes down the runway.

So, this was all very nice but there has to be a winner! And who’s judging? Well, it’s Laura Brown who looks like she has escaped the crypt, and Glenda Bailey, who looks like she’s taken up residence there. And Mary J. Blige! Or as my Mom calls her, Mary K. Blige. Who says sixty year olds in Boca aren’t down?

Isaac starts off by saying they are real designers now, and should be reckoned with as such. The judges haven’t been watching the same regurgitated filler as us for the last hour, so they want to know about the collections. Dom goes first with the silence and chaos theme. Mary J. wants to know if the fabric is representative of the silence or the chaos. I’m sure it’s meant as a deep interpretation of design, but she comes off sounding like the fashion equivalent of a dude with a beret and a goatee.

Let’s see what everyone else thought. Isaac liked the skirt and jacket look, Iman hated it. Dom’s collection made Glenda Bailey sad, because she thinks it didn’t show enough of her personality. LB says that some of her pieces were “heaven”. Isaac wraps it up by telling her she “really went somewhere” and made a statement. Some tears from Dom, an impassioned speech about how much she loves making clothes and moving on.

Morris Day talks more about his Mom and his fabulous dress. The judges unanimously loved the red. Apparently, the red strapless challenge dress made Mary J. squeal. Isaac didn’t love some gray jacket or a leather shirt, but overall compares Morris Day’s show to an orgasm, and come on, what beats an orgasm?

Finally, it’s CalTran’s turn. Isaac says it’s most ironic that CalTran is still standing there, because he almost ate it after pretty much every single challenge. CalTran says that he edited, per the judges advice. Iman didn’t like the panstsuit. Isaac loved a coat and some white pants. “You really shut us up my dear, cause the collection was divine,” drawls Isaac.

And then it’s time for deliberation, which we once again don’t get to see. We cut awkwardly from Iman telling them it’s time to deliberate to the final judgment. Dom is a risk taker. Morris Day has a wonderful understanding of a woman’s body. CalTran has overcome his fashion trickery to give them stunning minimal looks. It was a very tough decision, says Iman.

“This is the Fashion Show, but I’m sorry…Dominique, yours is not the ultimate collection.” And Dom’s fine with it – “third is amazing out of twelve” she says. Too cute. I would totally wear one of her preppy little belt dresses.

So it’s down to Morris Day and CalTran. They have both “surprised and delighted” says Iman. And then she calls for the last model.

The can’t-lose dress!  Yay Morris Day!

So, this was definitely not the way I saw this thing playing out, but I always liked Morris Day – well, except for his brief flirtation in the dark lair of the GoCi monster.  I can’t say I really like anything he ever designed, with the exception of the stunning red dress, but I liked his energy and of course his Morris Day look.

Hope this gets ya laid!

And that’s the end of The Fashion Show – Ultimate Collection!  Thanks for watching with me and stay fabulous, dolls.  Airkisskisskiss!

Oh, here go hell come.