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Welcome back to The Fashion Show. Last week, the designers created clothes from the lost and found. Maybe someday we will find the lost recap from that week. But for now, what you need to know is that Dominique and Outerspace Greenpeace David fell in love, and then he went home. So when we meet again, Dominique is depressed.
And who could blame her? What a friggin’ dump.
She’s curled up in his bed, she didn’t get a chance to say goodbye – oh, and CalTran’s being a bitch. What’s CalTran’s side of things? ”That bitch gonna pay back,” he snarls. This is in response to Dominique saying she wanted him off her team last week. It’s CalTan against the world.
They are invited to this week’s destination, and it’s a gorgeous church. Six left and the pressure’s on. Iman is standing there with a little kid.
Oh, I brought him for Laura Brown to eat later.
And today is a wedding challenge! Fun! So what’s the twist? Well, they’re not going to be working as “houses”, they’re going to be working as couples. No one is happy about this. Well, actually that’s not true. Everyone’s fine with it, except that they all don’t want to get stuck with CalTran and he doesn’t want to get stuck with any of them. CalTran’s been wronged.
Cesar denied me onstage! Dominique “stabbing me in the back”! Apparently, at some point, Jeffrey’s kicked the crap out of him. And what about Eduardo? Seriously, the guy can barely speak English and what little he knows he’s kind enough to throw your way. ”He doesn’t defends me,” CalTran finally musters. That asshole.
The kid gives the designers a ring bag, and they match up. The short version? GoCi Cindy gets CalTran. Ha! Dom and Morris Day are together, which leaves Cesar and Eduardo – who adorably and proudly pronounces “platinum” as “platinen”.
And there’s another twist! There will be no flowing silk or french lace today – no, instead of pretty dresses we’ve got a political statement. Three gay couples! Here’s how they match up:
So, those are CalTran’s thoughts on things.
I definitely spy a natural breast. I hope Cesar can handle it.
Morris Day reunites with his long lost his white, lesbian twin.
Iman reminds them that they’re designing for the most important day of these peoples’ lives. GoCi has a problem because she’s never designed for men and she’s also not really down with gay marriage. CalTran couldn’t have happened to anyone better.
Eduardo’s girl wants to wear mustard. That’s right, mustard. Nothing says love like the yellow crap you put on a hotdog. But her partner wants to wear a bow-tie, so I guess weird people just flock together, gay, straight whatever. Cesar calls the bow-tie girl a “dandy”.
Morris Day’s girl wants some kind of leisure suit with shorts, and Dominique’s girl has grudgingly agreed to wear a dress. But no bows or anything. And then CalTran and GoCi.
The chubby gay guys are interesting and adorable. The Korean one wants a traditional Korean gown. In blue, cause that’s how they roll in Korean culture. CalTran flat out tells him “no”. He just says “no” about a thousand times. He’s never seen traditional Korean wedding clothes before, and in his not at all humble opinion, if this is what the chubby Korean man wants, he should have gone to Koreatown and stayed away from Bravo.
Back in the studio, everyone else is happy to be working together. They all think Eduardo and Cesar are the “powerhouse”. But the GoCi and CalTran are more fun. ”I know what a mood board is, Calvin,” she informs him as they get started. I’d feel sorry for her if CalTran wasn’t so hilarious about it. And then in comes Isaac.
Hello daaaarlings, just breezed in from ’85.
He’s fine with Dominique and Morris Day. He’s worried about the length of Eduardo’s skirt, and wishes Cesar luck on making a tailored jacket in 20 hours. Then it’s GoCi and CalTran’s turn. GoCi whines about how she can’t design for a fat man. “It’s a big, fun challenge!” yells Isaac.
I don’t know what GoCi is more upset about, working with CalTran, dealing with gay people or having a fat model. But for some reason, she thinks she would have been a great match with Eduardo. Hello Miss Conceited Pants.
In the studio, Cesar is thrilled that his girl is shaped like a board and he can drape on a man’s form and not deal with breasts. What a relief. He calls his model “butch”. Then he and Eduardo play around with various shades of mustard. ”It’s not really my style,” admits Eduardo, so good for him for going along with the client.
Dominique is working with linen, which isn’t the way she would have gone but again, going with the client. And then, CalTran and GoCi. GoCi is really freaking out about the leap from a 24 inch waist to a 48 inch waist. CalTran calls her model fat about 1,000 times. Then he reminds us that he’s making whatever the hell kind of Korean wedding gown he wants.
Back in the apartment, they all talk shit on CalTran. CalTran tells us it’s all about him now, and “the game’s changed”.
Back in the studio, Cesar very articulately tells us about caring for his partner when he was dying of cancer, and how he had no rights. So let everyone get married.
We also learn that Morris Day is a gay virgin who wants eight kids. I don’t know what to say about that. Except maybe that he needs to get started?
GoCi is having more problems with her suit, which one would think transformed into a jet launcher from the way she’s carrying on about the construction of the thing. She’s also worried about CalTran’s version of a Korean wedding gown.
At the fitting the next day, we start off easy. Dom and Morris Day’s models love their looks. Eduardo loves her mustard colored fifties housewife wedding cocktail dress. And her dandy is thrilled with a Grace Jones inspired suit. There’s a bit of a tussle over the fabric though – Cesar is pushing for stripes, but the dandy insists on paisley.
Everyone knows lesbians love paisley.
Even GoCi’s client is happy. He likes his suit. So what’s the deal with the Korean wedding suit? Well, first of all it has nothing to do with Korea, according to the groom. He thinks it billows out in the back. But CalTran doesn’t care!
“I am not your seamstress! You want me to sew something, go to China! Not here, not now and I don’t like that!” I think it goes without saying that “not here not now and I don’t like that” will be my new way of saying “no”.
The clients are not happy. ”No class and no taste,” the Korean groom says with a sniff and a head roll. This is the officially the most adorable gay Korean man in an argyle sweater alive.
Giiiiiirl, I’d rather get married in this Old Navy sweater.
“I do what I want!” decrees CalTran in case there was any question. Eduardo mentions that his clients were asking why CalTran was so mean. And as the night ends, they all seem to finish their garments without too much drama.
The next day, they get ready for the fashion show with the obligatory Tresseme product time. And then, right before the show…the GoCi’s big man jacket doesn’t fit! She whines again that she’s not a tailor so it’s not her fault that her clothes don’t fit. Luckily, CalTran the speed sewer is there to sew the whole thing back together. ”He’s really being a teammate,” the GoCi admits.
And then, the show:
Morris Day’s shorts pantsuit, and Dom’s linen dress. Wedding photography by CB.
Cesar’s paisley pants and bowtie, and Eduardo’s cocktail mustard wedding dress.
GoCi’s split jacket and CalTran’s version of Korea.
And in our very special moment of the day, GoCi decides that it’s okay for gay people to get married if they’re in love. But seriously though, I just pulled screenshots from the fashion show and I couldn’t find one split second when these three couples did not look blissfully happy. Yay love!
Back in the judgement room, we have two guest judges today.
Shut it down bananas I die.
Every gay dude I know is obsessed with this shiny little creeper. I don’t get it.
Isaac is interested to talk to the real couples, so they get to come out for judging. Everyone loves Dominique and Jeffrey’s. But Isaac points out that it all looks off the rack. The clients are delighted with the designs, but Iman still argues that the designers should have talked them into wearing shit that they hated. You can’t win for winning with these people.
So let’s see what they thought of CalTran and GoCi – CalTran is very happy with his design, and just as happy to recount the story of how the groom wanted to wear blue. ”But with his size, blue would be a moo,” he tosses off as the judges laugh hysterically. They ask the sassy Korean man what he thought. He couldn’t believe they stuck him with “this joker”.
And as for GoCi’s suit, she reminds everyone how hard it was to make a suit, because she hasn’t mentioned that in the last 30 seconds. The fabric is pulling everyone, and it’s two different colors of black with offends Rachel Zoe.
On to Cesar and Eduardo. They think Cesar should have gone with a different print on the pants, but the client again makes it clear that they got what they wanted in the design. Not happy to leave it at that, Iman makes sure and point out the ridiculous bow tie.
And as usual, they loved Eduardo’s cocktail dress, even in the awful color. The creepy ice skater wants to rip the flower off and roll around in it. Really. Roll around in one flower. Moron.
The judges loved Dominique and Eduardo the best – so is it Eduardo for the third win, or Dom for the second win? It’s Dom! I’m happy for the little one, but it was kind of a boring dress.
And who has to go? Morris Day’s linen suit was clean, but generic. He can stay. Eduardo made a beautiful, sellable look. That’s it. He can stay. CalTran acted like a “bridezilla” – he can’t move. Cesar should have steered his bride away from paisley and reigned in the bow tie, but he can stay.
And as for GoCi – Iman totally calls her out for all her whining about not having made men’s clothes before. “But surely you have made clothes with sleeves,” sniffs Iman.
So it’s down to GoCi and CalTran – and the GoCi is gone! Now the only monster we have left is the lovable CalTran one. Til next time!