The Glee Rocky Hooray! Picture Show

Before we start to cluckin’ bout this week’s ep I have a question for yous- What’s THIS all about?

Yeah! You saw it. THAT. Lea Michele is posing for GQ Magazine, along with Dianna Agron and Cory Monteith in a slew of naughty high schooler pix… I must say old chap, they were a bit skanky and cliche. Which, admittedly, the pervo in me liked, kinda. But the adult in me thinks maybe those pix were a liiiiiittle (say in high pitched voice) too much. If they weren’t DRESSED as high school students though, I don’t think I’d agree with the “outrage.” Maybe they should have put them if different musicals. Bam! Hows that for art direction?

Alright, enough trying to figure out what that tattoo is on Lea Michele’s hip bone, it’s time for the Glee version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show! Been looking forward to this one. They even made us wait an extra week!

Dammit Janet! I KNEW the ep was gonna open that way! Who’s lips are those singin’ “Science Fiction/Double Feature”? Sounds like Santana. It must be cause I swears there was a pube stuck in those sassy pearly whites… The opening takes us right into the glang rehearsing “Over at the Frankenstein Place,” which is quickly interrupted by Dr. Have Murrrcey. He’s all upset cause Goody Two Shues isn’t being very goody. In fact, he’s been trying to steal Emma by means of putting up Rocky Horror Picture Show. A flashback reveals Emma talking about how much she and Dr. Have Murrrrcey love going to the local live version. It’s even been helping her with her neurotic thing.

In glee, Shue’s musical homework is THE musical Rocky Horror Picture Show. The gang points out the risque-ness of the show’s content and Shue apparently solves that problem by editing out the fun parts and giving the kids permission slips. Plus, they’re going to use the proceeds to fund their transportation to go to New York City for Nationals. Theeeeeeen, Shue casts the show. Quite perfectly, I might add. Although I’m not sure ANYONE in glee has the chops to play Frank-N-Furter. Oh, Tim Curry. How much do I love thee? Let me counts the drags. On my cigarette. Sike. I don’t smoke. Only socially.

Rachel and Finn are going over their scenes and Finn gets all self-conscience about having to be on stage naked and that everyone will be able to see his penile bump. Rachel thinks she’s smoothed over his shyness but the over the top concerned look that Finn has when she turns away says otherwiiiise.

Oh yippee skippy! A Sue’s Corner! She’s ranting about Halloween and spewing out too many funnies for me to even remember. There is one that almost made it into the Glines O’ the Week about little girls dressing like whores but, alas, my staunch criterion of ACTually laughing out loud was not met. BTW, Birschy’s favorite dumb “sexy girl” costume?

The Sexy Guitar!

Sue’s carving up a pumpkin and two tv exec guys played by original cast members of the Rocky Horror Picture Show (Richard O’Brien and Meat Loaf) pay her a visit to tell her they love Sue’s Corner so much they wanna put it on cable news. The have ulterior motives of course, they want Sue to do an expose piece on how the “secular progressive agenda” has finally arrived into the Ohio school district… A little late aren’t ya, boys?

Oh, yippier skippier! My favorite song from RHPS! In glee, Finn and Rachel rehearse “Dammit, Janet,” in front of the glang after Finn gives some more nervous looks about having to take his shirt off. On the contrary, new guy Sam (who will always be “New Guy Sam, btw) can’t wait to take HIS top off and I’m sure the rest of can’t either. Although, at this point, his” top off” to “episode” ratio is totally even. Still gonna screenshot it though! During the song, Sue pulls Shue outta class and she tells Shue she wants to be in the play. Shue takes the bait.

New Guy Sam is giving Finn the low down on how to get abs in the weight room when- whoops, hold on, New Guy Sam ab shot everybody!

Finn is overwhelmed by all the working out and not eating he has to do for tight abs. New Guy Sam makes it worse by telling him if he reveals the flab on stage, it’s straight to Nerdopolis! Eh? You haven’t heard of Nerdopolis? That’s funny cause you’re FROM there! Ha Haaa!

Emma is using tape to properly aline the things on her desk (good idea, crazy!) when Shue asks her to design the costumes for the show. She is honored by the proposition and happily accepts ever after. Mike Chang walks in and kills the vibe by telling Shue his parents won’t let him be in the show and dress up like a tranny. “WHAT? THAT was unexpected,” she yelled really loud sarcastically.

Will delivers the news to Sue, who is completing Becky’s Sue Sylvester costume with a bullhorn. Sue tells my favoritest down syndrome person ever to go “yell at some fatties.” Which made me LOL, but, alas, not clever enough to make it into this week’s Glines. (I only said “LOL” as a reference to earlier. I hate saying LOL.)

Sue gets Dr. Have Murrrrcy to volunteer for Dr. FrankNFurter. Shue makes him audition for the role. He sings “Hot Patootie-Bless My Soul” and is so frickeen charming I can’t STAND it. Seriously, I just wanna hang out with John Stamos and play HORSE or something. He just seems like to coolest guy in the land. He charms the heck outta the glang, too, but Sue points out that he sang a number by a different character, not by Frank N Furter. Dr. Have Murrcy doesn’t wanna play Frank N Furter and it’s a problem until Mercedes volunteers for the lead. Again, given their talent pool, perfect casting! Who else has the vocal timber AND tranny-tude? BTW, that’s NOT a dig…

Speaking of digging, Mercedes more than proves herself as leading man-lady material by singing “Sweet Transvestite” in a dress rehearsal. Oh, wait, did I say “singing?” I meant “ANNIHILATING.” So far, my favorite number of the episode! Somebody pass me a handkerchief so I can wipe the excitement off my brow. Good LORD that was awesome.

Sneaky Two Shues, the big hot liar, has Emma meet him in his hardly ever used Spanish class to tell her that New Guy Sam is uncomfortable in his golden speedo. Shue, of course, will play Rocky instead. He even talks her into rehearsing “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me!” Cuuuuute. Emma Pillsbury is singing. Her voice is even babier sounding than Quinn’s. Which actually worked perfectly for this song. Santana and Brittany as Columbia and Magenta spying on the pair was perfect too! In fact, come to think of it, this episode is pretty well close to perfect all together! I wonder how many more times can I say perfect… ? Just once more, cause here comes Shue’s abs, glays and gals.

In the weight room, New Guy Sam tells Finn he’s been replaced by Shue, which scares Finn about bearing skin even more. NG Sam assures Finn, that like his character, Brad, his sexiness comes from his self confidence. Finn is so inspired he- whoops! Time out! NG Sam ab shot number TWO comin’ up y’all, lookie lookie!

Now a 2(ab shot) to 1(episode) ratio!

The glang is rehearsing sans Finn and Sue makes an inside joke about the incredible pacing problems of of the musical, when Figgins pulls Shue into his office. Finn has been suspended cause he decided to walk around school in his boxers. Shue manages to get Figgins to reduce Finn’s suspension to a warning… Had enough of the ab shots yet guys? Too bad!

Solid effort, Finn! This takes us to a topless trifecta.

Back to where we started, a rehearsal is interrupted by Dr. Have Murrrcy cause he’s calling Shue out on messing with his gal pal. Later, Shue is highlighting lines in his office when Becky gives Shue the option of giving her a treat. Otherwise, he’ll be getting a trick. Speaking of tricked, Becky reveals Sue’s expose to Shue. Will decides to pull the show.

In the theater, Shue tells Emma he’s not going to do the play and he was only doing in the first place to spend time with her. He then puts his goody shoes back on and tells Emma that if he really loves her then the best thing for her is to be with Dr. Have Murrcy.

Shue gives the scoop to the glang in glee but, then, so we can see one more awesome RHPS number, says that the show was really about having a place for outcasts to be themselves at the midnight shows. So, it’s for this reason that they should still do the show. And so they do, but only for themselves… The glang takes us out with “The Time Warp.” And then, just a jump to the left…

Well, that’s that. I loved this ep. Rocky Horror Picture Show isn’t even in my top five musicals and I found the whole thing to be simply delightful.

Thanks so much for sticking with me, favorites. I’m sorry for saying you came from Nerdopolis earlier. I didn’t mean it. Besides, you couldn’t have come from there cause it’s really far away. Incidentally, not too perfar from Transexual, Transylvania.

Talk at you next week.

yours and everyone else’s,

BirschTalk

Glines O’ the Week
“…Making it the zoo’s first Unitarian chimp wedding in over six years.”- News Reporter

“People who dress like librarians [are] all sex addicts.” Sue