***JMo is back for more Christmas oldies!! Enjoy!
Hello everyone, and Happy Holidays! This is that very special time of year when we look around ourselves and realize what’s truly important to us… whether its having good health, or being surrounded by our friends and family, or maybe adding a flatscreen TV in the bathroom so we won’t ever miss a single rerun of “Roseanne”, we all celebrate this season of giving and caring in our own unique way. I can tell you, growing up in a heavily Catholic family I have learned that some ways of “Celebrating The Season” are way more fun than others. For instance, all my friends who had sweetly secular parents never knew the sheer torture of opening presents on Christmas Morning and receiving that brand new Moonbase Alpha Lego™ set and being sooooo excited to sit down and actually build it… only to find themselves being hustled into uncomfortable clothing and being dragged off to boring-ass church for the next two to thirty-seven hours. Non-religious-familied kids weren’t constantly bombarded with guilt-inducing reminders of the real reason for the season (“Remember, you can’t have ‘Christmas’ without Chriiiiiist!“). And ohhh, while the rest of the Ignorant Hellbound Sinners™ were free to enjoy the gloriously non-preachy cartoon productions of “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” and “Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town”, the four Mo children (M-Mo, J-Mo, B-Mo and Al-Mo) knew what was surely in store for them on snowy evenings in front of the television in a Christ-fearing household…
yay religious cartoons
Now, you may think I sound as if I am extremely bitter about having grown up in a family where religion was enforced and masturbation was discouraged, and you’d be totally right, I am. The deathly dull church I was forced to attend growing up was bad enough, the last thing I wanted was to be reminded of it during prime-time TV in December. All I really wanted was to see Frosty The Snowman and Charlie Brown specials as I crammed Christmas cookie after Christmas cookie into my little mouth. Still, my mother always unerringly found this particular Rankin-Bass stop-motion gem, The Little Drummer Boy, in the TV Guide and made certain the Mo family watched it so we could glean it’s message of loving sacrifice. And tacky cheapness.
So let’s take a new look at it with a 40-year-old recapper’s eye, shall we? We begin with the silhouette of a slow exodus of people…
fleeing AZ Governor Jan Brewer, Sheriff Joe Arpaio and SB 1070
No, actually, an actress speaking with a snooty faux-English accent informs us that “It came to pahss thaht there went out a decrrree from Caesar Augustus that oll the wehld should be taxed…” Tax the entire world? Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck would already hate this thing. Anyhow, Snoot-Lady goes on to say (with many, many unnecessarily rolled ‘r’s) that everyone had to pack up and go back to their home city in order to be taxed properly. That? Sounds insanely complicated, not to mention disruptive. I suspect Wesley Snipes would have had a much easier time using his “I didn’t understand how taxes work” defense back then. Ah, but Snoot-Lady jumps back in to say that everyone had to go hit up their hometowns, “for to disobey the Rrrrroman Emperrrror meant certain death!” Yikes! Those Romans were not playing when they wanted your money!
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