Anyhow, Aaron is adamant, he won’t perform for a mob because he haaaates peeeeople. Dildo-Nose tries to be empathetic, claiming he hates people, too, and thinks the world would be a far better place without them, but alas, you need people to make money, “And indeed, it is better to be crowded and rich… than crowded and poor!”…
not sure where “crowded by stinky fat guy” falls on that scale
Ruh-roh, this appears to have been a prelude to a song! Noooooooo! This one has some awesomely bad lyrics, though, check it out:
“When the day is good and the wind is dry, and the goose is hangin’ high
I can’t work like other men do when the goose is hangin’ high!
When the sun is bright in the big blue sky and the goose is hangin’ high
The Devil steals my heart away when the goose is hangin’ high!
Gold and silver on my mind, mischief in my soul
I wanna live like a rich man lives with life in my control!
When the day is bad and the wind is wet and the goose is flyin’ low
I gotta work like other men do when the goose is flyin’ low… but…
When the day is good and the wind is dry, and the goose is hangin’ high
I can’t work like other men do when the goose is hangin’ hiiiiiiigh!”
let’s just say “goose” probably means weed and move on
Laziest. Rhyme. Scheme. Ever. Anyhow, Snoot-Lady says Dildo-Nose was wily enough to convince Aaron to come to the big city with him (if “convince” = “tied up”) and that in itself was an amazing feat, because Aaron really does hate all people. Ahh, but it wasn’t always this way, because once upon a flashback, Aaron was a happy Little Farmer Boy…
the son of the first perpetually surprised-looking plastic surgery addicts
And here it was, his birthday, and because his parents can no longer show any emotion besides a Joey Lawrence-like “Whoooa!”, they figured the only way to demonstrate their love for him was to give him material things. At first it looked like they gave him his very own Crock-Pot™, but then I realized that’s a drum…
they must have never wanted to sleep again, either
A Crock-Pot would have been smarter, at least you might get the kid to make you a casserole once in a while. Oh, but Snoot-Lady insists that the drum was a “gift of lahve” and that gave it “magical powers”, which is why the animals would begin to goose-step dance when he began to play it…
seeing this would have sent me screaming back to my folks begging for a Crock-Pot
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