I’m not even kidding, one of the guys in the crowd actually starts making jacking-off gestures. Dildo-Nose goes around passing the hat, looking for cash, but all he gets is an apple core. Should have been a camel turd. In any case, next up is “Ali Of Arabia – The Greatest Juggler Under The Stars”…
and he’s just as talented as the Countess DeLesseps!
Dildo-Nose is totally freaking out because his performers are all so shitty, so he decides to put Aaron’s little high-stepping animals routine on next… except Aaron won’t smile because of his whole vow-to-hate-all-humans-forEVAH thing. Dildo-Nose doesn’t have time to play child psychologist, so he takes matters into his own hands…
oh much better
Time for Raggedy Aaron to start the show, which means another song… and oddly, even though he’s clearly drumming in the cartoon, there are no drum sounds being made, just a lot of unseen musicians playing completely different instruments… wow, I guess that drum really is magical! This song is even stupider than the last one about the goose being high… this one is called “Why Can’t The Animals Smile?”
“You never heard a lion laugh, you never saw a gator grin
A goose in a gaggle never gives a giggle
Why can’t the animals smile?
You never heard a mouse guffaw, a crow that did much more than caw
is an eagle too regal OR IS IT ALL ILLEGAL
Why can’t the animals smile?”
It gets worse from there. Believe me…
especially when they break out into the “Thriller” dance
After they finish this sad little performance, the crowd goes crazy…
no, I mean seriously, they are insane
Truthfully, the kid who sang this thing for real (Teddy Eccles) had a pretty awful voice, and the key of the song is way too low for him, plus he was pitchy and didn’t make it his own. But these Jerusalem yahoos are easy to please and they think he was awesome and want an encore. However, their adulation only serves to piss Aaron off and make him enraged…
scary Liza face
Ruh-roh, guess who’s having a farm-fire-flashback? Snoot-Lady tells us Aaron cahn’t believe these people would dare be hoppey and smiling after what “their kind” did to his family. Ooooh, sounds like someone is engaging in a little stereotyping, maybe? He throws his drum down and starts calling the crowd terrible names, such as “thieves” and “bandits” and “knaves” and “NaOnkas” and then runs away after having cried off his makeup. The insane crowd is pissed now and chases Dildo-Nose and his Bieber-wannabee out of Jerusalem. They are lucky they weren’t stoned, and I don’t mean the flying goose kind.
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