In this episode of The Spin Crowd we find out just how committed some people are to their jobs. Also, Shannen Doherty shows up. I love me some bitchy Shannon.
Before we get to any of that, we’re starting out in the car with Simon and Jonathan. Simon needs to go to the pharmacy, and Jonathan wants to know if it’s to buy extra large condoms.
That bitch has been spying on me in the bathroom again!
Simon tells us it’s not condoms he needs, it’s laxatives. Poor baby has a sensitive tummy and stress makes him constipated. I’d say that’s a little TMI, wouldn’t you? I don’t even care though because Simon is all things awesome.
When he gets back in the car Jonathan wants to know if he brought him a surprise, and since he’s so nosy……Simon tells him to try one without telling him what it is.
Maybe take two or three, they’re really yummy!
No, he doesn’t really say that. What Simon says to him after Jonathan eats the laxative is, “Enjoy your day.” Bwahahahahahaha! I fucking love it! And that my friends is why I love Simon.
Back at Jonathan’s condo he want to show Simon pictures of spots for some party they’re doing. But Simon doesn’t have time for that because he is headed out to dinner with a friend.
Friends? What are those?
Jonathan can’t believe Simon is going out when they’re heading to New York in like, two days. He gives Simon the third degree about where he’s going, how he got in there, and when he’s going to be back. Simon tells him he better not bother him on Blackberry.
Don’t make me give you another laxative!
Meanwhile Erika is meeting up with her boyfriend Christian/Coco. I’m thinking he got the nickname because of his resemblance to the cuckoo for Coco puffs bird.
Maybe Jonathan should make an appointment with the plastic surgeon for this guy!
Erika says Coco always makes her smile. Erika, is that just a nice way of telling us you know he’s funny looking? Something tells me Coco has a lot of money. They’re miles apart right now since Coco is in San Diego and she’s in L.A., but they’re trying to make it work long distance. Yeah, it’ll totally last.
They complain and whine to each other about how far away they are, and Coco says that he doesn’t even get to talk to her that much since she’s always working so hard.
You are working right? RIGHT?
God, he has an unfortunate nose. Does he have some bird DNA in his lineage? I didn’t think humans could mate with birds, but maybe he was cooked up in a lab or something; the original birdman.
He reminds her that it’s their anniversary next weekend, and all she has to do is come down to San Diego and bring her passport. He’ll take care of the rest. Who wants to bet Jonathan fucks up their anniversary plans? Anyone? Shit! I was hoping to make an easy buck.
I’m so excited about this trip that’ll never happen!
By the way…told you the dude has money.
Over at Koi, Simon and his friend Mariana are having dinner and bitching about Jonathan. Simon bitches about living with Jonathan and how he’s always talking about work. Mariana points out that they had separate lives back in New York, but Jonathan seems to be very dependent on Simon here in L.A. Probably because they’re living together, Simon says.
Simon wants to see how many messages Jonathan has left him. It’s not too bad; just two missed calls and a text asking where he is. Simon tells her he’s going to have to respond, and honestly, that’s part of the problem too. Mariana tells him not to respond until they’re done with dinner. I like her.
I might need another box of laxatives soon.
The next morning some dude named Danny Alex comes in to see the guys. He’s the owner of Bravada Women’s Athletica….
And Rod Stewart wanna be.
Danny’s new store will be opening in the next couple of days and he needs some media kaboom. Uh, Danny? It’s not nice to blow up the press.
Danny’s coming to the table with Shannen Doherty already on board, and Jonathan says she always gets press. Simon tells us all they need to do is bring the press and they’re done. He tells Danny that he’s envisioning a massive, oversized pair of scissors and a chic bow. Danny loves it.
Jonathan wants to know if all the lights and everything are going to be ready, and Danny promises the store will be done. Well, if the lights don’t work you can always wear that shirt, Jonathan tells him.
Says the fashionista.
Jonathan loves these kind of jobs because they’re basic PR 101. Yeah, I’m sure they’ll make a nice chunk of change for not having to do much. Sort of like taking your little sister to babysit with you. She does all the work, and you keep all the money. Not that I did that or anything.
Jonathan tells the girl’s about Danny’s job, saying it’s Friday and they’re leaving for New York this weekend. Wait, what? That’s right Gasmi, this is the first time he’s telling any of them about the trip.
Guess who just pooped her pants a wee bit?
He tells them they’re going to New York to do something with Kim. An orangutan, chimpanzee, something with baboons thing. Simon helps out here, telling them it’s a gorilla charity. The girls are super excited. Except for Erika of course. However will she tell cuckoo for Coco puffs that she won’t be around for his big surprise?
Jonathan and Simon head out, telling the girls to look up monkey stuff while they’re gone. Erika looks like she’s going to puke. She tells the girls about Coco’s big plans for the weekend, and says she wishes she’d known before he made these big plans. Katie says maybe Coco can come too.
Are you high?
I have to agree with Lauren here; there is no way Jonathan would be okay with a boyfriend tagging along on a business trip. But enough dwelling on Erika’s issue! Katie says they can totally be like Sex And The City, immediately saying she’s Carrie. Lauren says that makes her the old slutty one.
Oh honey, you don’t have to play Sex And The City for that to be true!
Some unknown amount of time later, Simon is back in the office and taking about how excited he is for New York. Summer is super excited, she hasn’t even been to New York since she was twelve. Jonathan tells her she should probably bring about ten inhalers.
Erika can stand the merriment no longer and gets up and asks to speak to Jonathan and Simon privately. She sits them down and babbles about how it’s her one year anniversary with the birdman, and he’s planned something special which happens to fall the same weekend as their trip to New York.
I wonder how long it will take the wings I ordered to get here.
Jonathan wants to know what she told him. Nothing, because she wanted to talk to them first. She is totally hoping they say she can miss this trip, but you and I know that ain’t happening, right? Jonathan says Coco is going to be really upset. This forces Erika to actually spell out that she was hoping maybe she could come out late or something.
Simon tells her in this industry if you say no once, it’s like no forever for that client. Jonathan doesn’t know why Simon is giving her a whole speech. He’s shocked they’re even having this discussion. Other than a funeral or her wedding, he doesn’t want to hear it.
Basically he’s having none of it and says it’s either them or the boyfriend; he would pick them.
I guess now’s not the time to mention I want my birthday off too.
Later in the car Jonathan says he’s excited for dinner tonight, and Simon tells him he can’t do dinner; he has other plans. Dun dun dun! Guess what? Jonathan’s not happy about that.
Jonathan points out that Simon went out last night, and Simon doesn’t want to discuss it; he’s going out with his friend who is an editor. Jonathan thinks this is starting a trend for Simon going out all the time; I think he’s actually considering an intervention after two dinners!
How dare he try to have a life that’s not intertwined with mine!
Fine, Jonathan tells him, they’ll just talk about everything when Simon gets back from dinner. Surprisingly, Simon is not all that keen to have a midnight meeting.
That night Simon is out, but not to dinner with his editor friend; he’s boozing it up at the Tea Room with his friend Carla.
Yay for lying to the boss! Woo!
Jonathan is of course blowing up Simon’s cell phone while he’s out and Simon is ignoring him. He tells Carla about his lie and then orders a round of shots. I can see how it’s just eating him up, can’t you? He tells us Jonathan can’t handle the truth.
Yes, I ordered the code red!
Over at Erika and Katie’s apartment, Erika has bit the bullet and is calling Coco to break the news about their plans. He’s about as happy as you think he’d be. He thinks it sucks that he made these plans a month ago and they can come at the last minute and tel her she can’t go. She tells him that she think if she doesn’t go to the event that she’ll be fired. She doesn’t know if she feels comfortable living her life like that.
Enough of that though, it’s now almost 2 am and Simon is just getting in from his “dinner”. Guess who’s waiting up for him? Jonathan peppers him with questions, asking how dinner was, where did he go, what did he have…it’s pretty obvious that he knows Simon lied to him.
Simon is a terrible liar. He just sort of wanders around, not making eye contact and taking way to long to answer questions. Dude, if you’re going to lie plan it all out in advance at least. Shit! How hard is it to figure out where you’re going to say you had dinner?
What did I eat? Food. What kind? Ummmmm….what was the question?
Jonathan says it’s really embarrassing when he gets texts from someone named Tori saying she just ran into Simon at the Tea Room. Busted! Simon says he went to Tea Room after.
He wants to talk about what Jonathan does, what has he done for Simon? He’s given him a life. Simon loses it and tells Jonathan that yes indeedy he did go out to the Tea Room. And then he throws some stuff into his briefcase (including Jonathan’s gum apparently) and storms out of the condo.
He shows up on Katie’s doorstep. They sit on the couch together, Simon chewing Jonathan’s stolen gum, and talk about how Simon needs to find his own place.
I can’t believe you’ve lived with him for this long! That’s wack!
The next day is the big Bravada event and the team is in the office checking on last minute details. Jonathan is looking at the ribbon and asks where the scissors are. Turns out, the scissors came in but no one checked to see if they will actually cut. Guess what? They don’t.
Jonathan chastises Simon, saying this is the sort of thing he would normally check and he thinks that all his partying is effecting his work. Simon says there are countless prop shops in L.A. and sends Erika and Katie on the hunt for new scissors.
Katie takes this opportunity to ask Erika if she’s thought any more about New York. Erika whines about how hard it is and how much she loves her job, but she’s torn at this point.
The rest of the team arrives at the store to find that the step and repeat is not set up yet when they were told it would be. Inside the store Jonathan finds out that Danny isn’t even there yet. To be fair, the Rod Stewart look takes hours to get right. Simon reminds Jonathan that he works for Danny. Well, Simon works for Jonathan and Jonathan would like for him to shut the fuck up. Cranky, cranky!
I can’t believe I left his binky at home!
Simone tells us that because he went out last night, if anything goes wrong with the event Jonathan is definitely going to blame him. Shannen is on her way and the scissors are still not there. Also, some homeless guy’s stuff is in all the shots and Jonathan wants him moved. Simon asks him politely to please go inside the store.
Inside he’s still carrying on about the homeless guy, so Lauren asks if he has any money. Her idea is to buy the guy lunch. You know, she may be a slut, but she certainly isn’t stupid.
That’s such a stereotype.
It’s actually a really smart plan because it gets the guy out of the way for a little while without making a bog ole scene about it. Nice one, Lauren.
Shannen arrives and they usher her right into the store because the new scissors still aren’t there. Rut roh. Jonathan tries to buy some time by showing her the store, bu she wants to know what they’re doing. He tells her they’re just waiting for a couple of minutes for the scissors.
Should I eat his heart now or save it for later?
Yeah, she’s not real happy right now. Jonathan takes her to the bakery next store to try and distract her and buy a little time. She’s a little worried because she has a meeting. Yeah, I really believe that. But I’m sure no one wants to admit their lack of plans in L.A., right?
Jonathan tells us Shannen is giving him the death glare and scaring him, and she tells him he should have called her; she would have brought scissors from her house. Hahahaha! I love it when she’s in bitch mode!
I might stab you with those scissors when they get here.
Finally the scissors arrive, and guess what? They don’t cut either! Bwahahahahahaha! That is so fucking hilarious! They end up having to give her a little pair of scissors from the store in order to actually cut the ribbon. In the end it doesn’t really matter because the pictures with the giant scissors are the ones that get used by the press.
Jonathan tells Shannen that it’s all Simon’s fault because he went out last night. She tells Simon the next time he wants to go out, he can call her. And then she hugs him while giving Jonathan a little fuck you smile. Can she be on the show every week?
That night Simon talks to Jonathan as he’s packing for New York. He says when they get back he wants to get his own apartment. Jonathan laughs at him, but Simon tells him they were never like this in New York. Jonathan thinks Simon didn’t go out in New York, but Simon tells him he did, they just weren’t living in each other’s ass cracks knowing every second of each other’s day.
BTW, your ass crack is really smelly.
Jonathan guesses it might be a good idea for Simon to get his own place. It starts to sound like Jonathan is trying to make it seem like his idea for the place, so Simon tells him it was his idea, not Jonathan’s. Well, I said okay to it, Jonathan counters. Uh, he was getting his own place whether he has your permission or not doughboy.
The next day the gang all meets at the airport, and guess who is missing? That’s right, Erika is not there. Katie says she wasn’t home last night or this morning and she’s not answering her phone. At this point she’s thinking Erika is not coming.
Just as they’re ready to walk inside, here comes Erika driven over by cuckcoo for Coco puffs. I’m sure she spent a lot of time on her knees last night making it up to him. She couldn’t answer Katie’s calls because her mouth was full.
So, she gave me about twenty blowjobs last night, and I guess I’m okay with getting blown off if it also means I’m getting blown.
Erika tells us the job means a lot to her and she’s lucky to have such a supportive boyfriend. Now if only he’d buy her some knee pads!
And there you go, Gasmi. She chose the job, but made it sort of okay with her guy. What would you have done?
Next week the gang is in the big apple for Kim’s gorilla party. I knew we wouldn’t go too long without her popping up again. Also, Jonathan is planning a Hamptons housewarming party and Simon is not happy about it. See you there!