Art now tries to sell the guard a “groomer”. Art launches into a long monologue (which I plan to use if I ever audition for anything Shakespeare again) about everything else this groomer can do – it is brilliance and think it was completely ad-libbed. He admits he doesn’t groom often and looks at his crotch! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love you Art Carney! Did you guys know Art won an Oscar? True story.
HOLY CRAP, you guys – its Darth Vader. We are now in the command ship with (spoiler!) Daddy Darth. OK, this special Special just got much better. And he’s gone in 20 seconds. Boo. Call me cynical, but that was an outtake from Star Wars, right? COMMERCIALS!
Ok – I would take you through these a-MAZ-ing 1978 commercials, but I still have 1 1/2 hours of the show to do, so I’ll just do the highlights. No good ones in this batch.
Back at Casa de Chewie – Malla and Lumpy are kickin it in the kitchen. Lumpy takes off and Malla just doesn’t know what to do with that kid! She literally throws her hands up and shakes her head. Its very cute – in a Wookie way. Oh God (er…the Force?), Malla turns her Lucas Ichat on and there’s Harvey Korman – dressed as a woman – a purple Julia Child kinda woman. Holy hell, Harvey, have you no shame?
So Harvey and Malla cook bantha for 5 minutes. Really – that’s it. Suddenly Harvey’s 3rd and 4th arm come out and Malla decides that this bitch is crazy. She turns that Harvey off.
Harvey and Malla cooking up some bantha(????)
Another cool scene of Han and Chewie avoiding the Fighters. Are these more outtakes? Han says “Why do I always think bringing you back to Life Day is so easy? I mean, really?” so I guess it is a new scene.
Back in Wookie-Landia, Itchy is sleeping in the E-Z chair and Malla is still crying over the Chewie picture. Methinks Malla needs some lovin’.
An Imperial agent appears on the screen. Martial Law has been declared on Kashyyk – no landings coming in or coming out. Not for Malla, that’s for sure…
There’s a knock on the door. It’s Art! He got thru the Empire force field and he knows Han and Chewie will too. And he brought presents! He gives Malla and Lumpy their gifts and they run off. He tells Itchy he brought him the proton pack for the “mind evaporator”. Ummm – I’m not sure Grampa Itchy should be around anything called a “mind evaporator”.
Art putting Itchy into the orgasmatron
Apparently the evaporator is a mind/sensory device that allows you to see images – kinda like the chessboard, right? I guess this device is a little more private. Art tells Itchy he’s got something “WOW” for him. It’s super creepy. He inserts the cartridge and leaves Itchy alone. Ewww… Dihann Carroll appears, telling him she is his fantasy, how he created her, and she is here for him only. She’s basically an interactive cyber prostitute for Grampa.
Itchy’s cyber lady of the evening