The Taste Recap: Nose to Tail (Ears, Entrails and Ass)

The Taste

By eyediosmio | Tuesday, March 5, 2013 | 11:21 am | 7 Comments
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Hola Gasmii and welcome to this week’s recap of The Taste wherein they attempt to freak out the contestants and the home audience with the concept of Nose to Tail eating.  Those of us who grew up around different cultures just call it “dinner.”  But whatever. White people, commence freaking out.

This little guy is a featured guest every Christmas Eve (Noche Buena) in my house.  If you are lucky, you get to eat the snout!  nom nom nom

So the elimination challenge this week is to use one of the secret four ingredients to create a dish for the guest judges to pick, and the winning dish gets immunity.  Seeing as how we are now down to 10, you bet this is gonna get SERIOUS!

Our guest judges arrive and subtley announce the challenge.  You know, with an ENTIRE piggie. 

They tell the contestants they have to choose one ingredient out of four to cook with, winner gets immunity.

So here we go!  Let’s see what kind of awful offal (har de har har) we’re going to be cooking with today!  And they have TWO HOURS TO COOK!

(Oh, and here’s a fun game, which ingredients from which contestant have I eaten before?  Write your guesses in the comments below!  Go!)

Nigella is down to one team member, Lauren.  Poor Lauren can’t help but giggle uncontrollably at the thought of handling bull testicles.   Neither can. I  

(I have eaten 3 of Nigella’s ingredients)

Malarkey just wants to beat Ludo, surprise surprise.  And his pants are stupid.

(I have eaten only one of Malarkey’s ingredients) 

Tony says he knows the judges very well, so they have a strong advantage.  Diane is disappointed there is no “blood of young virgins” to cook with, because she soaks in it every night and it’s a familiar ingredient.

(I have eaten three of Tony’s ingredients listed here).

Our fair Sarah is TERRIFIED, and Ludo tells everyone to cook “southern down home style.”  Just kidding, of course, FRENCHY FRENCHY FRENCHY!

(I have eaten 3 of Ludo’s ingredients) 

So here’s what they’re cooking:

Tony’s Team:

Ninamarie is cooking tripe; Diane is doing pork belly, pig’s tail and collared greens (which Diane gets to use a SAW to cut that tail!); Uno is doing tripe, pig’s tail and beef tongue.

Nigella:

Lauren is cooking with bull’s testicles because her words:  “it’s bull’s testicles and I just gotta know what it tastes like.”  Filthy, and I love it.

Ironically Ludo is SUPER SKEEVED OUT by the testicles and Nigella chases him around the room with them, and holy hell, could I love Nigella more?  No. I simply could not.   Could this be considered sexual harassment? 

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eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

7 Comments

  1. 1
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    \The Taste Recap: Nose to Tail (Ears, Entrails and Ass)\

    Read the title, and my first thought was I will never again hear someone sing \Head, shoulders, knees, and toes\ the same way again.

  2. 2
    Jenie
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    First time commenting! I love this show! And this was my favorite episode so far. So glad that tvgasm is doing recaps of it!

    I have to agree with you, eyediosmio (great name!), that they should “cook for their lives!” at the end. I was upset that Lauren stayed.

    Now, for the important part of the recap: My guesses for what eyediosmio has/has not eaten!

    Nigella I guess that you have eaten pigs ears, bull testicles and ham hock. — What is ham hock anyway?

    Malarkey I think you’ve eaten pig tongue. (Can you guess my theme for what you’ve eaten?)

    Anthony I am thinking… Tripe, cow tongue, pig tail are all things you have tasted.

    and finally, LudoPig head, ox tail and beef cheeks.

    Hope I got a few correct!

  3. 3
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    @cattyfan: that’s hilarious, that song will be stuck in my head all day now!

    Jenie: Thanks for commenting, and my friend you are close! I will tell you how many you got right: 6!

    Keep guessing guys, I’ll give a full run down of my answers in the next recap. And what may help is knowing that I married an Argentine and I’m half Cuban. Go!

  4. 4
    JimbobJones JimbobJones
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 12:10 am

    I used to like Malarky. Now I want to punch him in the throat. Continually.

  5. 5
    Just Ducky
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    Rules clarification: Sweetbreads was chosen by 3 chefs, so I assuming it counts for each list (and I obviously am assuming they’re on the list as molleja). With that being said, here are my guesses:

    Nigella: Pig ears, sweetbreads and ham hock

    Malarkey: Sweetbreads

    Anthony: Tripe, sweetbreads and cow tongue

    Ludo: Pig head, ox tail and pigs blood

    I am willing to admit now that you were right about Gregg – he’s not a sociopath, just an awkward, insecure, overly earnest doofus.

    Lauren tweeted that Diane really is not a b*tch. Also, I would like to be adopted by Nigella.

  6. 6
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    My guesses:
    Nigella – Sweetbreads, pig ears, Ham hock (who hasn’t eaten this?)
    Malarkey – Sweetbreads
    Anthony – Sweetbreads, cow tongue, tripe
    Ludo – Oxtail, pig blood, beef cheeks

    I’m always a bit surprised to see oxtail listed as offal though. I’ve had it a million times, and I feel like it’s such a common dish.

    Nigella would be a cool mom, but I would never want to be adopted by her.
    It’s bad enough that she makes me question my sexuality, but if she was my mom on top of that?
    The horror.

    Ugh I hate Lauren.
    And I still harbor x-rated fantasies that involve Ludo yelling in my face.
    Not about food though.

  7. 7
    Just Ducky
    Posted March 7, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    @chaosbutterfly, so funny that you say that about Nigella because I am already OK with being a gay, but she doesn’t inspire lust for me so much as a nurturing wonderful supportive force. In an ideal world, I would be adopted by Nigella and do as I will with love and all that, but have Ludo as my lover on the side to do all of the inappropriate and amazing things I am sure you are thinking.

    What’s funny is that I follow both him and his wife on Twitter and he is kind of her little b*tch, which makes me want him more.

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