The Taste Recap: Pour me another

The Taste

By eyediosmio | Tuesday, February 19, 2013 | 5:45 pm | 9 Comments
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Hola Gasmii!  Let’s get to recapping this thing, are you ready?  Pour yourself a glass of vino (a glass of red for me, thanks!) and let’s do this thing!

So we start off with two teams one man down

Sorry Micah!

Later Renatta!  (You should know, my husband is a HUGE fan of Apple Crumble – you was robbed!)

So, the first team competition is “daring pairings,” which involves creating a dish that is perfectly matched with a glass of wine.  The judges are a restauranteur and sommelier (fancy word for Wino). 

Each team gets five key ingredients to choose from, then each contestant uses one of the five ingredients to create a magic spoonful to eat with the wine – an Argentine Malbec. (nom nom nom!)  The team then has to choose which spoonful represents them and THEN if they win, that magic spoonful gets immunity and the team gets the help of both the chef and the sommelier.  You follow?  Me neither, I’m already drinking all the wine.

And we’re off!  Let’s see which team is cooking what (and remember, the chefs chose these ingredients for their teams).

Nigella gives everyone a gumdrop, sings a lullaby and then discusses the importance of not making the wine taste too acidic compared to the food.  

Khristianne will take your figs, almonds and bone marrow and DESTROY YOU!!!  ARRRRGH! (I just love this screengrab, she was literally smiling the next second.)

Tony says to keep close to Argentina (which good call, cuz Malbec is Argentine) and to really use a meat heavy component for their dishes.  To that I say - I am a fan of the meat.  Ya hear me?

And Ludo hates his team, as is evidenced by these ingredients. What the eff is cassis?

 Ludo is having to spend a lot of time with Sarah, as she’s kind of lost with these ingredients (I’ll side with her here, I am confused by them also but I’M NOT ON A COOKING SHOW!) and he shoos Gregg the Sexy Spoonful away.  The whole team is noticing the “mentoring” that is going on, and I

Tony’s very casually talking to his contestants about their dishes, but let’s face it – he’s only interested in the wine at this point. And he makes no bones about it either.  He’s swigging away, (as is Uno!  My girl, man) and wandering around, barely able to keep a thought in that craggy head of his.  But in his defense, is it me or is this show SO BORING?  Maybe it’s just dragging because there are so many people still left.

Tony starts pounding them back, and Diane dresses like Stevie Nicks.  Unfortunately her sleeves don’t catch on fire.

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eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

9 Comments

  1. 1
    Wendy
    Posted February 19, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    Great recap!

    Out of Diane, Gregg, and Shawn, Shawn is easily the worst. At least Diane and Gregg appear to have some skills to back up their arrogance while all Shawn has demonstrated is an inability to take well-meaning advice.

    This show is kind of dull, but the one hour passes by very quickly.

  2. 2
    LAC LAC
    Posted February 20, 2013 at 11:10 am

    Malarkey is nails on chalkboard annoying…risk jail time just to swipe him with my car annoying. Was he this excitable in Top Chef? God, could you imagine him and Josie in a show? Could you imagine being committed into a mental facility? Because an hour of that would do it.

  3. 3
    zerocool
    Posted February 20, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    He was not as cocky as he is now, but still annoying on Top Chef. He was also a lot less shiny/smooth/tan looking.

  4. 4
    jennnaboa
    Posted February 20, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    Ralphie’s pink bunny suit from A Christmas Story = Pink Nightmare. V sad no one got that. <3 your recaps.

  5. 5
    Chicken Lips
    Posted February 20, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    Was Malarkey on Top Chef? Is that where I remember him from? He’s a total douchebag. I want to punch him every time he opens his mouth and I want to kick him in the crotch every time he talks over that windbag butthole Ludo.

    And can we talk about Ludo for a sec? I’m the first to admit I have a hard time understanding accents (any accent – New York, French, Southern, Spanish – whatever) but it makes it 10 times worse because it seems like he mumbles. Who knows, maybe he isn’t even speaking real words and is just saying things because he’s tired of that douchetool Malarkey.

    I’ve been sticking with the show because I like Bourdain and he’s usually pretty amusing, but I’m losing patience fast because of Butthole and The Docuhe. I so bad wanted to like this show because of the steady decline Mediocre Chef is taking but it looks like I’m disappointed in yet another culinary competition.

  6. 6
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:40 am

    @jennaboa: you got it girl!!!! Woo hoo!

    I remember Malarkey just being kinda vanilla on Top Chef, but here he just seems to really be loving being on TV and I feel like he’s creatin ga false persona. Although I have to say I cannot get past the really bad botox he’s had. Everytime he tries to raise his eyebrows, there’s one slight weird crinkle, and his cheeks seem full of fillers. It’s like watching a Real Housewife try to emote, and it frightens me. I dunno, it just seems like he’s trying SO HARD. I can kinda understand it, because he’s not as well known as the other judges/mentors, but he needs to dial it down a notch because he’s really grating.

    Thanks for reading everyone! Working on Tuesday’s recap right now, hopefully it will be up today!

  7. 7
    L Chienne
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:46 am

    Turned it on because of Ludo and because, as ‘Lips said above, Top Chef ain’t what it used to be.

    The show would have been easier to digest without Malarkey. Hoping French Accent or the other two, who are also producers, vote him off the island or something down the road.

  8. 8
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Yeah the show is boring. They try to create drama with music and camera breaks and this Malarkey – Ludo rivalry, but it’s boring. I think part of it is that they never go anywhere or do anything fun, like how Masterchef or even Top Chef does. The challenges also aren’t specific enough and there aren’t enough rules….it’s like make comfort food, or make a dish to pair with this wine.
    I’m sorry but that shit is boring!
    Have them make comfort food out of offal, instead of just plain old comfort food.
    Or at least have them select the wines randomly, so they can’t all pick chardonnay. Or even better, have the winner of the mini challenge assign wines to everyone else.
    Throw a wrench into that shit!
    They just stay in the kitchen and do the same things pretty much every week. The timer is their only adversity.
    But it’s a good way to kill an hour, and maybe it will get more interesting down the road, as the dead weight is cut from the teams.

    Malarkey is so annoying. The others are naturally very watchable, but he isn’t at all, and his desperate attempts to force it is just embarrassing.
    I hate that Khristianne is on his team, because I like her so much and wouldn’t mind terribly if she won. But can you imagine how he would gloat, with his plastic face and frosted hair and horrible tan and veneered teeth?
    My God. -___-

  9. 9
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 11:02 am

    @chaos, those are great suggestions – yes they need to do some sort of different challenge. The guest judges are NOT helping (the last two were such snoozers). A change in location, or some other type of limitations when making the final dish is needed to up the pressure and drama. Great point, hopefully the producers listen and make some tweaks next season to up the drama a bit.

    And yes, i think as more people get cut, we’ll start to see more drama and better interactions.

    I, too hope Malarkey doesn’t win, but you know what? He’s the only one we’re talking about, really so maybe Malarkey is smart like a fox, an annoying overbotoxed fox but still .. . .

    He was perfectly attractive before all the work he did on his face, now he kind of looks like a weird waxy version of himself. You know how Pacino got all that work done and now he looks so strange? Malarkey’s done the same thing – and he’s so young! No reason to get the “Kidman” when you’re in your thirties. Just relax, dude!

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