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Tuesday, May 10, 2005
2:54 am
50 Comments
Well, it’s May, and as season finale, uh, season kicks in, our favorite reality shows have whittled down their contestant pool to a scant three or four members. As for The Apprentice, we started this week’s episode with only three huggable candidates: the perky Tana, the feisty Kendra, and the nonsensical Craig. That meant it was time for one of my favorite Apprentice traditions: the corporate interviews! I don’t really know why I love this segment so much (maybe that old purist in me enjoys the virtues of an old-fashioned sit-down), but I was happy to see the contestants squirm, stutter, and in the case of Craig, start ten different sentences at once.
Ah, but the joy of this penultimate episode reached beyond just the interviews. After all, this installment also marked the beginning of the final challenge, and in a nice, sadistic twist, Mark Burnett & Co. brought back the most scatterbrained, testy, and inept contestants of the season. Oh, this will be a great finale.The episode began with the odd couple of Craig and Kendra waiting around the loft, nervously anticipating who would return from the Boardroom. Craig was pulling for Tana, his little Street Smarts buddy. “Tana and I are the cream of the crop,” Craig informed us immodestly. Sorry Craig, but you’re not the cream. You’re not even non-fat skim milk. You’re Carnation Instant Breakfast at best.
Anyway, Tana returned to the loft where big hugs were had by all. There was general chatter, and somewhere in the mix, Tana must have stuck her finger in a wayward electrical socket because the next thing we knew, our Mary Kay superstar was sporting the biggest hair this side of 1984 Tina Turner. Also faring poorly was Kendra whose hands seemed to have turned a bright purple. Has she no vascular system? Oh wait, those were only her gloves. Man, I was really fearing for the well-being of these people.
Tana: electrocuted and proud of it.
The next morning, that bitch Rhona once again woke everyone up with her early morning call. Craig was the brave soul who got the phone, and once again, he was sporting his little afro pick in his hair. Listen Craig. You’re just not cool enough to pull that off. Now rainbow suspenders and a beanie — that’s a different story.
After washing up (and in the case of Tana, taming her hair’s wanderlust), everyone traveled on over to Trump World Towers where they huddled in a narrow hallways until The Donald arrived. The big man took them into a huge apartment seemingly made of windows and explained that this was the most luxurious space on earth. Actually, if I’m not mistaken, wasn’t that the same space teams rented for parties out in season one? Has Trump still not been able to sell this apartment? WTF? Is it haunted? Way to go Trump. Next time, don’t build your skyscrapers on ancient Indian burial grounds. Jerk.
Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Trump On Over!
Anyway, the visit to this apartment proved to be a nonsensical transition to the next task: the aforementioned interviews. This time, contestants would be meeting with David Brandon of Domino’s Pizza, Darlene “The Slut” Daggett of QVC, Howard Lamber of Douglas Ellison, and Greg “Crazy Eyes” Brenneman of Burger King. Let the festivities begin!
Well, actually, before we could do that, we had to watch an artistically shot crosswalk sign flicker “Walk” and “Don’t Walk” super fast. Oh, that’s good stuff! Really captures the essence of… something.
Okay, now it was time to start the interviews. Poor Tana’s hair seemed to be puffing up again, but that was no matter. Our favorite MILF was happy to be tackling the CEOs, saying “You don’t prepare for something like this.” Literally. She didn’t even brush her hair. But hey, that’s okay. At least she wasn’t sashaying around in her leather business suit (vavooom!).
Anyway, the interviews all began, and I was immediately impressed by sexpot Darlene Daggett who appeared to be a strange hybrid of Janet Reno and a nun. Seriously, this woman was out of control with her plunging neckline. I mean, I almost saw her chestbone! Luckily, she was sure to ensure that no skin was showing by wearing a necklace so thick, even African tribes were saying “Now that’s crazy!”
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Similarly striking was Greg Brenneman (no relation to Amy, although he is a huge “Judging Amy” fan I’ve heard) who asked Craig questions with an Igor-like thrill in his eyes. Part of me thought he was simply going to pounce on the candidate and haul him off to a European castle for testing. Luckily, Brenneman was too confused by Craig’s answers to pull any such stunts. It was fairly sad watching Craig struggle. He stuttered, restarted, blanked, and babbled in a beautifully stunning choke. And to think, all Brenneman wanted to know was his name.
Dr. Frankenstein will like you very much. Very much indeed!
Of course, no interview montage will ever be complete without the obligatory close-ups of mouths, fast flying questions, puzzled contestants, and echoey sounds. This time around, the editors went buck-wild with the Avid and split the screen into all sorts of fancy panels that flittered around like an old Esther Williams aqua musical. Honestly, the only thing missing was a star wipe.
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Memo to Apprentice editor: RELAX!
Eventually, the interviews came to an end, and the executives all entered the Boardroom to assess the candidates. In general, they all hated Craig (no substance, they said. Clearly, they did not see his cream-like capabilities), they all like Tana, and they all thought Kendra was young but full of potential. Darlene in particular was a big fan of Tana, saying that she appreciated her entrepreneurial honesty at nine years old. Yeah, because that’s a real indication of someone’s character TWENTY EIGHT YEARS LATER. Darlene then added that she respected Tana’s kindergarten ambitions to be an astronaut, have horseys, and want candy.
Soon, it was time for the candidates to go down to the Boardroom, and as they hauled their suitcases out the front door, Tana chirped, “Boy, this suitcase is heavy. How about you guys?” Man, this woman can really small talk like none other. I can’t even imagine what her weather material is like. I bet it kills each time. Anyway, in the Boardroom, Trump didn’t even bother pitting the candidates against each other (actually, that’s not true. Yahoo actually has a nifty deleted scene featuring Craig and Kendra going at it). After a few compliments, Trump simply dispatched Craig, citing the universal acknowledgment that he has no substance.
And so Craig meandered off to his cab, later telling us that he’s looking forward to spending the rest of his life with his family. Was there a choice? Was The Donald making him decide between his family and Trump International? That might explain the quiet sadness behind Bill Rancic’s eyes.
Upon returning to the suite, Tana and Kendra immediately squealed with delight, especially when they encountered a chilled bottle of champagne and a big photo album. The two perused the pages, happily taking a walk down memory lane (and for our benefit, Mark Burnett provided cheesy slow motion footage of fallen contestants, all to the tune of a bombastic and emotional score). Sadly, the schmaltz of the moment was instantly undercut as the two gazed upon Todd, the first contestant to be fired. “Wow, I don’t remember that much,” sad Tana very unsentimentally. Ultimately she simply concluded that he was a handsome man and then turned the page as if to say “LET’S NEVER TALK OF HIM AGAIN!”
The two continued to admire their former colleagues (read: judge their physical attractiveness), with Tana saying of Kristen, “You never see a smile.” Yeah, that might have something to do with the Botox and plastic surgery. When it came time for Audrey, Kendra cooed, “She’s a pretty girl.” SHHH!! Don’t say that! She’ll cut her face! You don’t know how difficult it’s been for her to be so beautiful!
Making another insightful comment about someone’s personality, Tana and Kendra immediately fawned over Stephanie. “She’s very photogenic,” said Tana. Yes, she was, but in a non-photogenic sort of way. It’s weird. After a few more pictures flipped by, the music suddenly reached a crescendo as the women squealed “Awwww!” What, pray tell, had they come across? A basket of puppies? A baby playing with a kitten? Jenn from Survivor? Nope. It was only Bren, the suite dreamboat. Sorry Alex. Not even the most metrosexual tendencies can top Southern charm.
After a crazy night of celebrating (ie. probably sipping tea and baking cookies), the ladies returned to the Boardroom the next day to receive their final challenge. Unfortunately, Trump wasn’t present to deliver the instructions in person, but he was ever so kind to tape a message from his limo where his bellowing voice seemed to startle the two women out of their shoes. Kendra was told to run the Best Buy World Videogame Championships in New York’s Webster Hall while Tana was assigned to the NYC 2012 Athlete Challenge at the Chelsea Piers. The screen then went black, leaving the rest of this segment in the awkward hands of Trump’s minions. Carolyn immediately perched over the intercom like a blonde grasshopper and buzzed Robin.
“Donald is my man, so STAY AWAY, BITCH!” she yelled. Okay, maybe she didn’t say that, but she did tell the soft-spoken receptionist to send in Tana and Kendra’s new teammates. Yes, the hallowed return of the losers, and in the case of this season, the über-losers. Season one reunited us with the six previously ousted contestants. Season two offered up six people from the middle of the season. This time around, however, there was no consistency on when the people were fired, but more like why they were fired. Yes, the producers threw a monkey wrench in Kendra and Tana’s game by supplying them with the very worst this season had to offer. For Kendra, she had the scatterbrained Danny, the stubborn Michael Tarshi, and the hairy Erin. Tana, meanwhile, got royally screwed with the logically-deprived Brian, loudmouth Kristen, and recent prisoner Chris. Of couse, Tana immediately requested to swap out some members of her team, but George shot her down, explaining that sometimes in business executives work with people they don’t like (sadly, George did not elaborate with a soda jerk story). Ah yes. What a group of disasters. So sadistic, Apprentice. We love it.
Well, Kendra went off to Webster Hall to check out the digs and rally her troops. Michael, Danny, and Erin were all smiles and promised to be the best teammates they possibly could be. They gave little to no back talk to their leader, and when assigned a task, Erin nodded her head assuredly as if to say, “My hair is on it!”
Over at Chelsea Piers, Tana met up with her team who also assuaged her fears about bickering and conflict. “You have a team here that loves each other,” said Kristen, who then added, “By the way, if any of you want to be in my self-financed Dove commercial, let me know. I’d really like to make someone seem just as pathetic as me.”
Anyway, after meeting with a Chelsea Piers administrator, Tana told her crew that she trusts them with any decision. She then added, “Oh shit, I thought you were Bren, Alex, and Kendra. Never mind. Just stay here in the corner and don’t do anything until the challenge is over.”
Back at Kendra’s camp, the Superfriends had an important meeting with executives from Electronic Arts and Best Buy. Unfortunately, no one told Kendra when the honchos arrived, and so for ten minutes, everyone, including America, had to suffer through Danny’s rambling ineptitude. Just to give you an idea of how truly awful and embarrassing he was, Danny actually sang an opening jingle to the meetings. And no, it wasn’t a jingle for the upcoming event. It was a jingle boasting how wonderful Team Magna was. I honestly expected the Best Buy executive to whip out a sickle and decapitate him right there. I know I wanted to (although, I respect that not everyone has a sickle on hand for such moments).
Luckily, Erin had the earth shattering idea to fetch Kendra, and while Danny’s damage seemed irreparable, our plucky leader went on overdrive to win back over the execs. Meanwhile, over at Team Tana, the chipper but annoyed MILF expressed genuine frustration with her underlings. “They bicker and they fight and they try to manage each other,” Tana said in a surprisingly acute description. We then cut to the “Three Stooges” as they jokingly fought over whether or not Kristen should wear hats. The boys thought she shouldn’t, the she-man thought she should. Chris in particular was very vocal about the dilemma: “YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR HATS. I FIND HEADWEAR TO BE UNATTRACTIVE, AND THAT IS A FFFFFACT!!!”
Seriously Kristen, stop with the hats.
I gotta say, I agree with my boy Chris on this one. Kristen is not one who can rock the hat, especially the puffy, droopy kind that was only stylish, um, never. Wow, how catty of me. I deserve two air snaps from Alex for that one (We then cut to Alex: “You’re damn right, bitch!”). By the way, whenever I insert such Alex comments, feel free to imagine “Holiday” by Madonna playing in the background.
Well, things for Tana soon became delightfully embarrassing as she and Brian met with the NYC 2012 Olympic Bid executives. While she tried to impress her vision of the event on them, Chris and Kristen circled the block in their car for an hour, finally calling up Mom to say that they couldn’t find a spot. What the fletch was she supposed to do about that? Chris insisted that they wouldn’t be able to find a spot in the middle of the day near Wall Street in the middle of New York City (as opposed to near Wall Street in the middle of Spokane). Dumbass, park a few blocks away and hoof it. Or better yet, FIND A GARAGE!
Tana quickly told Chris to zip it, and when she returned to the meeting, she found Brian talking about how he was a magician. Yeah, I would have said “entrepreneur”, but hey, what do I know? Oh, that’s right, COMMON SENSE. Meanwhile, down in the car, Kristen balked some meandering statement about how when her ass is on the line, no one cares but now that someone else’s ass is on the line, she’s supposed to care (yeah, that’s a strange notion. Some people call it “team work”, but I think they’re just quacks). Anyway, Kristen finally concluded that since her ass was no longer on the line, she didn’t really care about any of this. Kristen Kirchner is a selfish reality star who can’t think beyond herself? Why, I never would have thought!
The hour eventually came to a close as Kendra illogically had dozens of Playstation 2 kiosks moved to a dingy room in the Webster Hall basement. Her logic was that EA was supposed to be the only sponsor in the main ballroom. Uh, well, maybe you should move the PS2s to the main room so that people will be able to, you know, PLAY the EA games.
Unfortunately, this basic logic didn’t occur to Kendra, causing problems when Playstation sent its rep, Aimee to check in on the event. I kind of liked Aimee, even if she did look like a Long Island version of the wrestler Chyna (don’t worry, Aimee, you are much hotter). Unsurprisingly, Aimee was not very happy with Kendra’s PS2 arrangements, and for a moment I thought she might pile drive the contestant into the ground, or at least perform some sort of suplex power move. Instead, she merely informed us that if the situation wasn’t rectified, there was a distinct possibility that Playstation would pull out of the event. Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly what will happen.
Anyway, with that threat floating in the air, the episode ended on Kendra’s alarmed (a.k.a. normal) face. Not a good omen. The season one cliffhanger was Kwame dealing with Jessica Simpson. The season two cliffhanger was Jen dealing with Chris Weber. Both of them lost in the final Boardroom. Is it curtains for Kendra too? Well, apparently this Thursday’s episode is part one of a two part finale, so I guess we’ll have to take into consideration the next cliffhanger as well. Way to not drag out the finale again this season…
What do you think? Who has the better team? Who will win? Who deserves to win?
50 Comments
I hate to be the first to post on these things. Makes me feel like I don’t have a life. Go Tana. Even if she dresses like a 1930′s actress.
I liked how the montage of the interviews went completely out of control. The shifting of the frames when they were talking about each other reminds me of the footage from Woodstock. Then they went, “hey, let’s just stuff all these interviews all in little frames”.
Face it, there isn’t much you could do to spruce up those interviews, so it became a fun task of playing with the Video Toaster, making a corporate collage.
That venue for the EA championships looks like a dump. I doubt even Iggy Pop would want to wake up with a hangover in there. Shouln’t the machines be in the main room, instead of that second stage area, complete with deer head?
This is gonna get good.
Is it me, or does Darlene Dagget remind you of Alex? Seperated at birth? Neverseenboth in the same room?
oh, brother. another elaborately staged event planning challenge. i suppose it makes sense, given the finite nature of a reality TV series, but isn’t event planning usually the province of 20-something ‘publicist’ types who recently graduated from smith or sarah lawrence? you know–those gals in the office who make $25,000 a year and yet manage (with a little help from daddy, or, on occasion, sugar-daddy) to afford uptown residences in manhattan AND imelda marcos-ish shoe habits, who work for five years before they marry a stock-broker and move back to connecticut?
sorry, i just don’t see how we get from hard-core ‘corporate’ interviews to pushing furniture and electronics around and back again. richard branson’s idea to have his contestants go bungee jumping or get naked onstage at a rock festival makes a lot more sense in comparison.
i suppose the booksmarts crew was too busy studying to learn that a game cartridge requires an operating system to be demonstrated. of course, it’s easy to see how you might overlook the workings of video games in business school–i mean, it’s only a 5 billion dollar a year industry.
but the real challenge here is who can get through the task without pushing more than one underling out of the nearest open window. i’d have given the edge to kendra, but she already let me down by neglecting to consult a focus group of 6 year-olds on how to operate a game system. tana, on the other hand, gets to manage a sports event, which means she will likely break back into her crunk-tastic urban slang mode, making her a heavy favorite.
I look forward to seeing Danny greet the game players with a cardboard sign and a new jingle he has written for the tournament and am awaiting Chris to implode as Kristen’s head spins around and she spews pea soup.
GO TANA! GO AWAY POUTY KENDRA!
“Kristen is not one who can rock the hat, especially the puffy, droopy kind that was only stylish, um, never. Wow, how catty of me. I deserve two air snaps from Alex for that one (We then cut to Alex: “You’re damn right, bitch!”). By the way, whenever I insert such Alex comments, feel free to imagine “Holiday” by Madonna playing in the background.”
Brilliant.
Surely someone around knows that you need a game system in order to play the individual games. Surely. I don’t play video games, and I know that much. It will be funny, though, if Kendra starts the event and tells people to play the EA games without giving them anything to play them on. On Tana’a side, I foresee some serious trouble as well–Danny making up his own words to the Olympic Hymn, perhaps?
Ha, that guy totally looked like Igor. It is crazy to me that Craig EVEN made it as far as he did. Can we say dumb fucking luck? No surprise at all he choked in the interviews so badly. In fact, I was glad to see his total ineptitude was *finally* brought to light. My question is how on earth Tana would rather want to work with Craig than Kendra? Or do you think that was just because he would be easier competition. I got the sense she really meant it – yet another reason why Kendra deserves to win.
Alex is SO gay can I just say that – who tf is he trying to fool??? B-Side, I hope he reads your posts and sees how utterly transparent he is. He owes you 100 snaps for freeing him from the prison that is his glass closet.
Good call on BK’s dude as Igor! My bro and I rewound the TiVo just to watch his “yesss, yessss, master, I loooooove paperwork” face as they introduced him.
Trump on SNL: “Dominico’s Pizza…Cheezus Crust!”
Oh, and is it me, or is that Heidi Bressler staged to play Trump’s slut in the unauthorized biopic they’re touting on ABC lately?? Take a close look and immediately jump down my throat if I’m wrong.
Laughed out loud at the “Jenn from Survivor” comment.
Actually one of your best recaps ever. Hilarious!
The only saving grace on the SNL episode was the Trump bit.
“buh nah nah nah naahhhhhh…..dough-minny-ohs”
ahh, this changes my views. as someone who doesnt play games, i didnt realize that you actually do need the PS2 to play the EA games until now. i think the cliffhanger will be a non-issue for kendra by this thursday.
it made me enraged (as ineptitude generally does) to see those jackals try to find parking around wall street–barely any place to park down there (hello van bombs?) and there are PLENTY of garages YOU IDIOTS! cheesus crust!
what is even more shocking is that the city would rely on the apprentice idiots to stage an even SO IMPORTANT to the city as a NYC2012 athlete showcase? hello?!?! dont you want the games here? why not just tell tana she is going to run the construction of the west side stadium too!
oh and the two penthouse apts havent been sold–some prince had a contract on both i think, but something must have happened so they are back on the market–around ~20million i believe.
here is a plan of the apt they were in:
http://www.trumpworldtower.com/pages/FP16.html
meeshie, Craig only lasted so long because in the early stages when his team lost a few times, he hadn’t done anything to get noticed to be fired. Once there were few enough people that his suckiness could no longer be hidden, his team never lost thanks to his strong teammates (Tana and Kendra, primarily) so although he was stupid and useless, he couldn’t be fired.
Tana and Craig were on the same original team. In those early days, like I said, Craig didn’t do anything to show how idiotic he really is, so Tana probably liked him and stayed loyal to him from those days. I don’t think she ever fully acknowledged or admitted how terrible Craig was in the later stages, although she had to have realized on some level that she’d have a good chance up against him because he cannot communicate or organize as well as Kendra (which isn’t saying all that much.)
Ah yes, Ashes, I totally agree. Craig was the benificiary of some damn good luck and some damn bad competition. However, I still think he should’ve been fired for sheer utter annoyingness and lack of entertainment value. At least Chris was a fucking riot ! B-Side, I want to meet you one day so I can hear you do the Chris impression “and that is a FFFFFACT!” live and in person. Something tells me you’d be a whiz with impressions. Just my two cents
Oh please. Craig was tapping Tana’s ass. Everytime she saw him it was “Craaaigggy” and a big hug with those breast firmly pressed into him. Who they think they’re foolin. Yeah, Iowa MILF get’s down with Chocolate Milkshake. Protein shake anyone?
You’re not being fair to Craig. He has some glaring flaws but being inarticulate does not equal ineptitude. His verbal issues do not negate the fact that he performed consistently throughout the interview, excepting the Pontiac brochure (which Tana also bailed on). He and Tana are a good working fit, but you have to wonder how much of the magic was Tana given that the last task pitted them against eachother and Tana completely bombed.
It was track record that kept Tana in the finals, not her performance on the t-shirt task.
It’s anybody’s game. Both women are competent doers, but Kendra’s got corporate know-how (and likely, education) that Tana lacks. Also, Tana is focusing too hard on her loser team while Kendra is making do. I mean, why in the world did Tana leave the cellphone on during the meeting, let alone answer it? She made poor choices all around there. Tana needs to focus on the task.
i remember when I went to webster hall
Lady J, Craig didn’t contribute anything to any task except the one at Home Depot, where he was only project manager because he had to be. And they won that task based largely on the other team totally failing and on Craig’s team doing a great job working with the parents and kids in person. You say his only weak performance was the Pontiac brochure week, but it was Kendra’s idea to contact art galleries and collectors in the t-shirt task. Left to his own devices, Craig wouldn’t have sold any more shirts than Tana and Alex and would have sold them for less, given that Craig was giving unasked-for discounts to people already prepared to pay full price. During the Staples task, Tana and Kendra did all the work to develop a product while Craig played with office furniture. And that doesn’t even begin to get into how rude, condescending, lazy, incoherent, and difficult Craig generally was.
You’re right about one thing–Craig was consistent, because he was consistently bad.
OK, that first post was a test to see if this page was gonna make me spend a half hour registering and visiting my hotmail address for the passwork and all that malarkey. What happened was me and this Dominican guy went to Webster Hall and they wouldn’t let me in, then there was a fight and a guy got thrown down the steps. Seems like there were more steps the way I remember it but that was a long time ago. (maybe they removed some steps) How the hell do I know who is gonna win? Get off my back !!
“Tana chirped, “Boy, this suitcase is heavy. How about you guys?” Man, this woman can really small talk like none other. I can’t even imagine what her weather material is like”
Seeing as how her husband is a weatherman at KCCI in Des Moines, IA (I used to work with him!!) I bet she has some great weather talk!
With that hair and those eyebrows, Tana reminds me of Sam the American Eagle from the muppets. (See picture here: http://www.ghostofaflea.com/archives/001040.html)
I wish Tana wins in the end, I think she has proven to be more charming and fun than kendra, but hey, that’s just me, and besides, who doesn’t love a MILF?
On a side note, I was wondering why TV GASM didn’t follow the other Mark Burnett show THE CONTENDER, I really like the show because in the end the contestants literally fight each other to get to the top, there has been back stabbing, conspiracies, all the good stuff from a reality show, oh and mushy emotional moments as well, so that’s why I wonder, why was there no CONTENTER commentaries?
Ashes,
I stand by my assessment. No one ever accused Craig of shirking and we only see so much of what he does in any given episode (not even the Pontiac task could fairly be cited as “lazy”). Saying that Tana and Kendra did all of the work on the Staples task is exaggerating. Craig had one brief shot of trying to come up with ideas by investigating the equipment at the store. Kendra zeroed in on stackables and Craig took the idea from there. He may not have given her credit for the idea, but he did participate in deciding how to design and then present their final product.
As for Home Depot, that win was based on more than one of Craig’s contributions. He picked the box idea, exploited the blank slate possibilities of it and redirected his team’s morale so that they could interact well with the customers on game day. He led by managing through others. It is to Craig’s credit that he didn’t choose a stupid, overly complicated project like the other team did. He could have screwed up, but he did well instead.
I’m not saying Craig doesn’t have a few very aggravating issues. But there’s no need to overplay it.
polo i agree. the contender is entertaining with a high snark quotient.
I think the end of the episode with Kendra being reamed out by the Playstation rep was designed to throw us off the trail and make it look like she loses.
In the clips for the next episode, Trump’s at Tana’s venue ranting about something being ‘a huge mistake’.
Tana definitely does something to piss off the Trumpster.
Amy, I agree. I think there will be mistakes from both camps (especially given who they have to work with.) Kendra has made a big mistake, but Tana’s team has already distracted her and pulled her away from the client. This is in keeping with what so many of us have been saying about this season–there were some players better than others and some who were true jerks, but no one was just wonderful and no one came off well in every task. Trump can pick either of them and it will be an okay choice, but for many of us, neither candidate is a huge favorite.
Your double use of the word “nonsensical” made me want to run around singing Jellicoe Cats for some strange reason.
Damn I hope Tana wins this one. I’m praying hard! Another gut busting recap!! A Two part season finale?? WTF!
why in the interview did that guy say Kendra was too young? Aren’t apprentices supposed to be young. I bet my fiance a steak dinner that Kendra wins. The cool part is that we are both lifelong vegetarians so the loser will have to eat a whole steak dinner.
ANTF-
I think Craig was getting some of that Tana ass, too! Also, I didn’t think Tana could top the ghetto leather suit last week-but boy, was i wrong! The fuschia pink suit with fur around the neck, uhh…NO! Wardrobe aside, I still hope she wins.
Woah Tana IS that eagle from the muppets !!!!! That is CRAZY ! Her head pivots around like she’s surveying her prey. Wasn’t that eagle like, a jerk?
I’m equally underwhelmed with both Tana and Kendra, so I don’t really care who wins, but I’ve gotta wonder how Tana’s going to work the hours the Trump job must demand.
She’s already spent 4 months away from her kids, and then she’s planning on uprooting them and her husband to NY or some other city, so she can work 60+ hour weeks???
Her kids are going to forget what she looks like.
Oh that’s fine – just tell them to watch “The Muppets”!
Tell them to watch The Muppets.
Ha!!!
I finally followed that link. She really does look like that character. Especially with all those weird feathery outfits she wears. Kinda scary!
Craig sucks. Period.
Hey, I wanted to like Craig. As a black person I cring at some of the black contestants placed on the different reality shows. You just hope for someone who is not made out to be lazy, mushmouthed or with chip on shoulder. Last season Kevin actually peformed well, and then got knicked in the interviews for reasons I thought petty.
But Craig, based on what we saw (and saw of the other candidates) really did not perform all that well. He was just, average, or slightly less so. His communication skills were nonexistent, and he did not have the ability to “work with others”. It was obviously early on he had no shot, and the interviews just brought that out. You can go only so far spouting generalities.
As for Tana, I think the reason she liked Craig had nothing to do with the game in itself. They were praying together at one point, so it is quite possible that they spent a lot of time perhaps discussing family, kids, or religious faith and bonded that way.
Although, like one of the posts above, I like to imagine they were having some wild taboo sex in the suite. (Taboo. Say that word. It’s a very fun word to say).
Wizard- I feel the same way! I wanted to like the brother but from the day he started rambling about Audrey’s control of her husband in the boardroom my opinion of him fell and fell.
On another note, I could not figure out why Kristen and Chris were getting so upset in the car. Did they honestly think that Tana was supposed to leave a business meeting to help them find parking?
I am surprised that NBC wasn’t deluged with calls last Thursday night to report that the video montage caused widespread seizures. Remember that Pokemon episode with the flashing lights about ten years ago that caused thousands of people to have seizures?
I have a question. Where do the candidates go, especially the ones who are fired early on? Are they sequestered in another suite somewhere?
I am asking this because it seems to me that, during the show’s taping, if one of the candidates is shown back in his/her hometown, it ruins the suspense and then word gets around that so-and-so person did not make it very far during “The Apprentice.”
Danny- The Anti-Drug. ‘Nuff said.
I used to like Tana until she started ripping on pretty much everyone the second they turned their backs. She’s all sunshine and butterflies to every single person there, but the minute she’s got her own camera time, the mask comes off – and there’s Satan. Her hair looks “bigger” now because her horns need more room to grow.
And what was with that pink, low-cut feathery sweater she wore in the boardroom??? Did anyone else find that outfit totally – well,….eeeevil?
Kendra may be young and inexperienced, but at least she’s honest, genuine and talented. Tana’s a cut-throat,and that’s what will win her the job.
Kendra and Tana are both disasters. Donald is going to be in trouble if either of these women win. I hope that he can just give them a secretary position in one of his businesses.
KENDRA ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO KENDRA!
BYE TANA!
Kendra will win. Remember the brochure episode prefaced with Trumps mighty inspirational speech of “NEVER GIVE UP. NO MATTER WHAT, NEVER GIVE UP!” as Craig and Tana went to bed.
I still think Trump will pull out the contract signed upon joining the show and relieve their promised position. Actually, the position is a secret so maybe he’ll amend it to something along the lines of janitor of Trump Tower #8.
Does Anyone Know when these events (The nyc2012 challange and the Best Buy Championship) actually occurred?
I know that they are not happening tonight May 12.
I was at Best Buy this Monday, and saw an ad for the EA video game contest(with apprentice logo), but it didn’t make sense.
Okay, let’s not from the outset, as many Reality TV “stars” have noted, its all in the editing. That said, Gillian’s comment* is the most prescient I’ve seen.
*about Tana(“She’s all sunshine and butterflies to every single person there, but the minute she’s got her own camera time, the mask comes off – and there’s Satan”)
I have never been so instantly predisposed to hate someone as Tana. In different cities, having never seen any of the episodes before this, my best friend and I came the same C-word conclusion about this person.
Holy Moly! I would seek her out right now and give her a slap. Robert Conrad would have a hard time knocking that chip off her shoulder. Did anyone notice how in the final meeting she noted she wasn’t “needy.” (snap, kendra!) But of course not, raging, selfish bitches aren’t. “a wolf in goldfish clothing?” This the is spawn of Ted Bundy. (“She’s so nice and warm and considerate,” say the people you can fool all the time. “I’d like her as my receptionist.” Until she sleeps with your boss and takes your job.)
It’s smiley, fake, backstabbing, predatory assholes like this that give men a bad name. Oh, yeah, well women too.
Kendra may be young and a bit dippy, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near Tana lest you be hurt when her employees frag her.
I can’t believe I ever rooted for Tana. It was just appalling how two-faced she acted during the final task.
Yes, we know your employees suck… broadcasting it to the entire world doesn’t make you look good, it makes you look like the jerk.
And while she wasted no opportunity to make it clear how little she thought of her employees abilities, she had no problem giving Kristin 100% free reign printing the programs and felt she shared no accountability for the assinine, uncensored comments contained in it. Hello?! This is YOUR final task puffhead, ever heard of a thing called accountability? If Tana had simply asked for one minute to proofread the brochures (like any sane marketing exec would) BEFORE they were printed, she could’ve easily prevented that enormous error.
Her comment at the end of her event about how she has to act like an exec now and be separated from her workers was so stupid. Who do you think you are, Trump? I can’t believe how cocky she was. Rediculous that she actually thinks she did a good job and had the unmitigated gall to tell Bruce Jenner she’d be the next apprentice. Please! Get a grip woman, you’re on the fast train back to Iowa!
I don’t see how anyone could root for Tana after the last ep. Incompetent, obnoxious, and arrogant … what an unpleasant combination…
This is my first time reading your recaps. Very funny stuff, B-Side. (Shh, I think I like yours better than that televisionwithoutsomething website.)
I’ve been predicting Kendra has the winner since the beginning. Tana sucks.
Great moment: Pataki’s aide tells Tana (for the nth time) that the gov is waiting outside clueless. Tana says “that’s fine” with a truly creepy look on her face as she runs away.. aide yells “NO IT’S NOT!”
Katie, I too called Kendra from the beginning…..
I wish there would have been a recap of last week’s episode. It was classic, and Tana behaved so atrociously bad that it made me root for Kendra instead.