This past Sunday, just when I thought I’d be gearing up for a relaxing night on the couch, I suddenly received a text message. It came from one Michael Tarshi — famed reject from The Apprentice season three. He alerted me that he and many other Apprentice alums would be partying it up in Hollywood that night in advance of Monday’s grand finale. Well, what else to do but slap on a nice shirt, tell J-Unit, and load up the camera. Unfortunately, by the time we arrived at the bar, things were wrapping up; so we didn’t really get too many photos, but I did get my shot with Carolyn, and that was good enough for me. Still, a few pics after the jump.Now, in order for me to get a shot with Carolyn, I had to do some sweet-talking. Ms. Kepcher was gabbing it up with former candidates Angie and Kristen (both from season three), and while I was waiting to corner Carolyn alone, it quickly became apparent to me that I’d have to actually infiltrate this conversation. I chose my words wisely — saying that all three women were beauties to behold. This warmed them up, and then I further crowed that I had to give my props to Carolyn for being my favorite. Then we talked about Briarcliff Manor, NY, and by that time, I felt like I was on Carolyn’s good side. She wasn’t going to skewer me like so many stammering Boardroom victims. I then asked if I could get a picture, and my heart skipped a beat when Carolyn hesitated, but then she smiled and said, “Knock yourself out!” Of course, I didn’t want to be rude, so I posed with all three women. That meant that this pic…
…was in fact, this pic:
And who took our picture? Carolyn’s husband! Oh, and in case you’re wondering, he snapped a shot of himself too:
After the photo, Kristen pulled me aside and insisted on giving me a complimentary women of The Apprentice wall calendar, entitled “Fired Up and Giving Back: We Are The Apprincess.” (Insert groan here). I hate to say it, but Kristen was very sweet and friendly, and of course, I instantly felt bad for, you know, bashing her so many times on the site. Honestly, if she knew I was from TVgasm, she’d probably punch me in the face. Literally.
Anyway, Kristen and I took this goofy photo with the calendar. Unfortunately, the busboy who was manning the camera was so enamored with Kristen that he full-on cut out the calendar. He was no Mr. Kepcher.
While I was taking dumb photos, J-Unit meanwhile got sucked into a conversation with some dude who came with Dawn from The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. She got a pretty bum rap on the show, but in person, she was friendly. Gosh, is that all I can say about people? I know everyone gets mad when we skewer people on the site and then when we meet them, we’re like “Oh, they were nice!” But it’s true! Oh well. What can I say? We’re lame.
Sadly, around this time everyone left, which meant I didn’t get to speak to a whole slew of memorable Apprentice stars: Markus, Clay, Alex, KENDRA, Jason from season 1 (yeah, don’t worry if you can’t remember him), and the one and only Chris. As in, the guy with the constant ‘roid rage. AND THAT IS A FFFFFACT!!! He seemed to be pretty hyper by the bar and at any moment, I thought he’d totally go Incredible Hulk on us (he was talking to his former nemesis Alex, who’s much shorter than I expected).
And then there was our old friend Tarshi:
He implored us not to be slanderous to people; so out of respect for the man that brought us the Tarshi Bar, I promised to take it easy. Truthfully, there weren’t many stories to be had. Later, we traveled to a different bar where we found Danny (“UNBELIEVABLE!”) from season three, Pamela from season two, and Nick Warnock from season one, but, well, nothing really noteworthy there. However, I still had my dumb pinup calendar to entertain me (not like THAT).
And yes, that is my duvet cover from Target.
The entire calendar was really a testament to the advances in airbrushing technology, and while there were some amusing spreads inside, nothing could compare to the centerfold:
MARIA BOREN RETURNS!
Oh Maria. How we’ve missed you so. Just seeing her here in all her controlled glory brings back fond memories. I love how her sexy pose (complete with sensible neck kerchief) seems to sheathe an intense, burning rage.
So while the night out with the Apprentice stars wasn’t exactly mind-blowing, at least I could always have this wonderful keepsake to forever remind me of Maria Boren. Here’s to hoping she winds up in another reality show. Janice Dickinson’s Modeling Agency anyone?
“Give me bitchy or give me DEATH!”