Tana to Trump: Can I Get A Woop Woop?

The Apprentice

By B-Side | Monday, May 23, 2005 | 5:22 pm | 45 Comments

woop_woopAfter long delay, I finally saw the much-hyped finale for season three of The Apprentice, and sadly, the only surprise here was that Matthew Calamari didn’t return to royally embarrass himself on live television once again. Yes, we here at the TVgasm offices were traveling on the 15 freeway en route to Las Vegas when Donald Trump officially anointed his next glorified underling, and so I didn’t even get a chance to check out this hour of splendor until late last evening. The Donald had promised to cut down on the fat from last season’s bloated finale, but would he be true to his promise?

Yes and no. For starters, he nixed the endless testimonies from random people in the audience (thank god — although, again, kind of missing Matthew Calamari). Unfortunately, he also did away with the reunion segment, something that I’m always eager to see. What we were left with was a herky-jerky Q & A as well as a lengthy segment on the adventures of Kelly and Brian, Apprentices Extraordinaire. Also, let’s not forget that while this episode was only an hour long, the actual finale was a two-part event that stretched over seven days; so at the end of the day, while this show was certainly shorter than last season’s three-hour snoozefest, I don’t think it’s safe to say that it was any less bloated.Speaking of bloated, how about that opening recap of the season? Much like with Survivor which also plopped a fifteen minute “in case you weren’t watching” montage on the front of its finale, Mark Burnett burned off the first quarter of the show with a lengthy – but enjoyable – trip down memory lane. It started with Trump blaring that “Half of the candidates had degrees from some of the finest schools in the country.” Like University of Florida (Kendra), Seattle Pacific University (Alex), Cleveland State University (Danny), University of Memphis (Bren), University of Miami (Erin, Todd), Arizona State University (Stephanie), and Jackson State University (Verna). Yes, some of the very finest schools. I’m glad Trump didn’t dilute the pool with those crappy-ass institutions like Princeton or Stanford.

Anyway, as we reminisced on the season, we got to relive those glorious moments from early on. Look, there’s Danny yelling “UNBELIEVABLE!”, and there’s Brian dressed like a… cowboy? Okay, we’ll just assume that was for the Burger King task and not some unfortunate fashion choice (he did, after all, take great joy in wearing a Viking hat for no reason). The producers then threw the audience a bone by flashing us a scene from one of Chris’s earlier explosions. “I DO NOT REFURBISH HOMES!” he yelled. Yes, if there are two things we know about Chris, it’s that he hates gutting houses and that HE IS NOT A HOMOSEXUAL, SIR!

chris_yells_again
One more, for old time’s sake.

Later we saw Stephanie and her ill-advised pizza delivery to Brooklyn. Trump boomed on the soundtrack: “It was a bad move; SO I FIRED HER!” Settle down, Donald! We know what happened. The recap continued though, and as it approached the ten minute mark, we once again had a little more product placement for the Pontiac Solstice (insert Bren’s testimony to his love for the car here) and then the always enjoyable shot of Chris cackling like a madman in the back of a cab. This, of course, was followed immediately by the even more entertaining footage of Chris bawling in the Boardroom as Papa Trump patted him on the back and sent him out into the world.

Then after fifteen minutes of Trump yelling, we finally cut to the live finale where we saw a chipper audience clapping inside of NYU’s Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Last season Carnegie Hall, this season the Skirball Center? What’s next? The YMCA? The jungle gym area of McDonald’s? (Yeah, that’s right Skirball. I’m calling you out! Maybe you should stop sounding like Skeeball’s less fun carnival game cousin and more like a real performing arts center).

Anyway, as we floated over the cheering crowd, the camera zoomed in on who else? Sugar Ray Leonard! Oh yes, that reminds me! I should watch The Contender this weekend! Thank you, Sugar Ray Leonard and NBC! Meanwhile, bitter flashbacks to December engulfed me as I feared we’d then be subject to another incongruous interview with the boxer to promote his show. Luckily, we simply went to commercial, and when we came back, the spotlight seemed to be squarely where we liked it most: on Trump. As The Donald said “Thank you, thank you” over and over again, the audience rose to its feet yet again (except NBC head honcho Jeff Zucker who happily remained seated). Wow, we’re twenty minutes in and literally nothing has happened. Way to keep this finale tight!

Meanwhile, I couldn’t help noticing that the final boardroom was setup like a goofy version of People’s Court. Paging the mixed metaphors department: Trump runs a corporation, not an Appellate Court. Nevertheless, The Donald sat high above the stage in the equivalent of a judge’s bench and even had a gavel. Maybe he was planning to yell “Order in the fake boardroom that looks like a court on a stage in a performing arts center!” Sitting oddly in two different witness boxes were George and Carolyn, each of whom had a sidekick in Bill Rancic and Kelly Perdew respectively. As for the fired contestants, they unsurprisingly filled up a jury box, and of course Kendra and Tana sat at the defendant’s table. Unfortunately, there was no stenographer, leaving a bitter Rhona with little to do except wait backstage with a teacup full of arsenic for her ungrateful boss.

Anyway, Trump questioned Tana about the way she treated her team, and she immediately apologized for her disparaging comments. She then wrote everything else off by saying “My sense of humor didn’t come out.” I could just imagine Tana a few years from now: “I know you think me killing a hobo on the street looks bad, but honestly, my sense of humor just really didn’t have a chance to shine. If you look at it, it’s rather funny.” Trump then leveled with her: “You have an uphill battle.” Great. Should i even bother watching anymore?

Trump then tried to come up with a way to make Kendra feel uncomfortable, but he failed amazingly as the best he could do was attack her for crying in the boardroom. “I’ve seen 300 pound linebackers cry as they raise the Superbowl trophy!” she declared triumphantly, causing the audience to erupt in cheers. Yay crying linebackers! You PUSSIES! But then even Trump had to concede, “It was actually a pretty nice cry.” So why did you grill her about it? He then added, “The Trump Organization has the very best cries in the world. Our crying is a THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR industry.”

patternsSomewhere in the middle of this, we then cut to Danny and Erin who apparently were in their own competition for “Most distracting patterns EVER.” Danny seemed to be in a paisley hurricane while Erin simply wore an outfit reminiscent of MC Escher’s lizard drawings. Not sure who looked more ridiculous, but I think it’s safe to say at least three or four children around America had epileptic seizures that night.

Anyway, the show ground to an awkward halt as Trump futzed up and asked a question to Kristen that was obviously intended for Erin. He wanted to know what it was like working for Kendra. Kristen simply looked blankly at Mr. Trump, not sure if he was truly addressing her. “Come on,” he coaxed impatiently. Wow, this was incredibly uncomfortable. Next time, let’s look into a dress rehearsal.

Trump soon improvised and refocused the question to be about Tana, and surprisingly, Kristen had nothing but kind things to say. Wow. Next up was Erin who also had nothing but kind things to say about Kendra. You know, I’d like to hear what everyone has to say. Surely, NBC would show us what happened when the six returning employees entered the Boardroom last week, right? After all, it was the cliffhanger. WRONG. Yes, in one of the major oversights of the live finale, the producers never showed us even one second of the interchange between Trump and workers. So what did we see instead?

If you answered “A fluffy segment about Bill and Kelly,” you’d be correct! That’s right. Because the producers think we actually care about these two suits, we had to watch a whole video montage about how well Bill and Kelly are integrating into the Trump Organization. Bill seemed to be doing okay, but Kelly was all over the map. He had been hired to oversee construction in New York City, but apparently, he was also promoting Trump Towers Tampa, an office building, and of course, Trump Ice. Rumor has it he also fetches lunch, pulls night shifts with the janitorial staff, and serves as Trump’s chauffeur.

When we finished with this update, Trump informed Tana, “I still don’t think your team like you very much.” Maybe you should SHOW US THE BOARDROOM FOOTAGE! Instead, Trump babbled about the job opportunities the winner would have: overseeing Miss Universe or renovating a “uge” Palm Beach Mansion. Apparently these two options edged out three other jobs: head of makeup, director of shopping, and receptionist. Yes, the job offerings were mildly sexist, but if you really think about it, whoever wins will be doing just as little as Kelly and Bill, so it really doesn’t matter.

Unsurprisingly, Tana said she’d choose Miss USA while Kendra opted for the mansion. Then it was time to return to “the jury.” Trump asked Chris what he thought of Tana’s leadership, and he ultimately answered, “I was a bit disappointed.” When Trump asked why Chris was so calm, the hothead suddenly exploded, “I SAID I WAS A BIT DISAPPOINTED! TANA’S LEADERSHIP WAS UNSATISFACTORY TO ME. THAT MAKES ME VERY ANGRY! AND THAT IS A FFFFFFACT!” Chris then turned around and choked Audrey to death before hissing at the audience and running out of the theater. He was later taken down with five tranquilizer darts and can now be seen at the Bronx Zoo.

Actually, none of that happened, but he did have kind words for Kendra: “Outside of the show, I’ve been involved in some things that we’re potentially gonna be doing together,” he said as a dirty-minded audience began to snicker (Kendra and Chris, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S…). When Chris finally caught on (a good fifteen seconds later), he yelled out angrily. “NO! NO! NO!” He then added “I DO NOT REFURBISH HOMES, I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL, AND I AM NOT HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH KENDRA!” And then Chris did that whole tranquilizer/Bronx Zoo thing again.

Next, Trump asked Florence Henderson what she thought. Oh wait, that was Carolyn. I didn’t realize with the hair and everything. Anyway, Carolyn echoed pretty much everyone else’s concerns — she didn’t like Tana’s leadership or Kendra’s lack of stepping up earlier on. Man, when did Carol Brady become such a hardass?

florence
Here’s the story of a lovely lady…

We then cut to commercial, and when we came back, we found Omarosa bobbing her head to the live band. Who is she again? Oh yeah, a woman desperately trying to cling onto the spotlight. Still, can’t wait for the next Surreal Life!

Now it was time for George to speak, and he had nothing but warm, grandfatherly praise for everyone. “I have never seen anyone come up with more brilliant ideas and raw enthusiasm in my life,” he said. He then revealed a t-shirt and said “I’m getting it bedazzled tomorrow!”

Trump then asked Kendra if she had an advantage because of her education. Huh? Didn’t he ask that LAST WEEK? Why are we watching the same questions? The bloat-meter was approaching 100%. Things finally got interesting when a desperate Tana piped up about the famed Pontiac brochure that Kendra had made.

“What you didn’t see was that I was the reason that the Pontiac CEOs loved that brochure, and it was because of the shape,” she said, as a chorus of boos descended on her. Tana then added, “I also invented the Internet.”

Actually, Kendra gave her props, saying that it was Tana’s idea to have the circle design, and when Trump revealed that he had not known that, our favorite MILF from Iowa went berserk. For some reason, she had the delusional belief that this fact would somehow earn her a victory, and she began cheering and whooping and pulling all sorts of embarrassing things not seen since the Arsenio Hall show. Eventually Tana yelled, “Don’t get me started!” Uh, Tana, part of being a professional is acting, you know, professional.

kendra_winsWell, how these women conducted themselves turned out to be the ultimate factor, and in the end, Trump unsurprisingly hired Kendra for the job. The winner immediately went over and thanked The Donald, who responded by making a weird little kissy face. After some hugs from her family and friends, Kendra then headed outside to fetch her new Pontiac Solstice. Trump meanwhile alerted us that The Apprentice Musical would be coming to town, thus making it official that Broadway is dead. The evening ended with Kendra driving away in a Pontiac commercial that I’m pretty sure was read by Matt Dillon.

And so ended a highly enjoyable third season for the series. There have been a lot of haters recently (Mark Berman, I’m looking at you), but just because the show’s ratings have gone down doesn’t mean it’s any worse. I’m looking forward to this fall’s next installment, and I’m more than curious to see how the Martha Stewart spinoff plays out.

What do you think? Did Trump make the right choice? Did you enjoy this season?

About

45 Comments

  1. 1
    fiction
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 5:50 pm

    The 15 min. recap mixed in with the commercials every 3 min. was horrible..It would be nice if Trump would of asked more questions to the contestants in the jury, but then it would take away from his spotlight.Oh well, Can’t wait for season 4 (minus the finale)!

  2. 2
    Jodi
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 5:59 pm

    Tana needs a “uge” BEATING. If I didn’t loathe her before the finale, I would have hated her as soon as she opened her mouth … and wanted her dead upon seeing her act like a frat boy in drag during that whole Pontiac brochure thing.

  3. 3
    Jess
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 7:16 pm

    I was pee-ossed that we didn’t get to see footage of peeps complaining about Tana being a yuge bitch during the task! But I DID watch extra snippets on Yahoo that revealed that it wasn’t tricky editing taking out crappy work by Magna employees–even the Tarshinator did well.

    God, the Whooping Tana was just embarrassing. I’m glad she and her tricky eyebrows and new layers lost.

    Awesome recap, B-Side. Snickers to Bronx Zoo and all the descriptors of how Trump booms and yells and shouts!

  4. 4
    GNARKILL
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 7:18 pm

    The last finale was too long this one was too short, make one just right for fuck’s sake Trump!

  5. 5
    dumbanddumber
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 7:30 pm

    An hour should have been fine … they should have showed you Tana getting raked over by her team, then live as she whoops it over her invention of the circle, then she gets fired. They could have done that and still put in all of their stinkin’ commercials. Why is it so hard for the networks to figure out what we want to see?

  6. 6
    Aries
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 7:57 pm

    I think the show spent so much time on Kelly and Bill to respond to last week’s Newsweek article about how Trump’s apprentices don’t really do anything in his organizations. The footage showing Kelly and Bill “working” was supposed to convince us that they had “yooge” responsibilities in Trump Co. But it still looked to me like they were tools who didn’t have anything to do except sit in windowless offices next to Melania’s assistant and wonder why no one was taking them seriously as president of one of Trump’s companies.

  7. 7
    Mike
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 7:58 pm

    When Bill was introduced, he followed up his “great to be here” inanities with some pointed comments for Tana…which leads me to believe that empty suit Kelly probably blew his cue to say something to/about Kendra. Honestly, is there anyone out there whose last name isn’t Perdew who has so much as a thimble of goodwill towards that beady-eyed rodent?

    Kristin had been threatening all last week online to show her ass somehow and disrupt the live finale. Turned out she was all talk…

  8. 8
    tj
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 8:09 pm

    yeah why didn’t trump talk to more of the contestants in the “jury” (or in chris’s case, holding cell)? i thought it was crazy that they just sat there pointlessly the whole time… it was like they were all channeling robyn or something (who was sitting in the audience even though she’s on the show).

    anyway awesome recap, b-side! i’m anxious to see if martha beats contestants to death instead of the ol’ “you’re fired.”

  9. 9
    Katrina
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 9:02 pm

    I think from now on I will just tape the finales and fast forward them to see who wins in the end. What a waste of an hour of my life. But, it was entertaining to see Trump look like an ass talking to Kristin instead of Erin.

    Trump Tower Tampa is made up of luxury condos (probably offices too though), they sold for over a million each. Also, just had to add, University of Florida is a great school. Its super hard to get into, the median SAT score is above a 1300.

  10. 10
    British
    Posted May 23, 2005 at 9:47 pm

    I’m bettting the flub with Kristen(nice one, Trump) was because that last task was filmed months ago, and now we’re here. He most likely forgot it.

    you know, I’m kinda likin’ the Carolyn 1960s perm. I wouldn’t kick her out of the boardroom.

    Is there an article about Kelly & Bill’s office being near milena’s? I keep seeing that over and over again.

  11. 11
    Steph
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 12:17 am

    I got so embarrased for Tana when she began acting like such an ass. I like her, but I just sighed and hung my head.
    By the fixed smile on Trump’s face, you can tell he was embarrased for her also.

  12. 12
    laska
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 4:49 am

    Martha will probably send her rejects over to Tana to spend a month adding sequins to t-shirts- “You’re Bedazzled!”

  13. 13
    Jess
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 5:58 am

    One of the articles last Friday quoted Trump as calling Tana “obnoxious” for her whooping during the finale. YAY!

  14. 14
    bill
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 6:25 am

    trump’s quote about tana’s behavior:

    http://www.tampabaylive.com/entertainment/stories/0505/050520trump.shtml

  15. 15
    British
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 6:26 am

    Tana got booed a bit on the Conan O’Brien show. Conan didn’t seem comfortable with her blabbing and such. This came to light when she desperately tried to get a last-minute plug in for her website and kid’s book.

  16. 16
    Retroqueen
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 6:30 am

    I had liked Tana up to the last task when I cringed every time she opened her mouth.

    I was resigned that Kendra should win despite her penchant for Zoolander like facial expressions.

    However even tho’ Tana acted like an ass about it at the finale, I was surprised that she had designed the Pontiac brochure. Big oversight on the show, and certainly showed Tana’s Team player status on that car episode.

    While I’ve never acted in such public “whooping” way as Tana I cetainly felt like “blowing my own horn” when a colleague stole my work and scored a promotion based on it.

    Credit where credits due.
    *sniff*

  17. 17
    America's Next Top Fan
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 7:43 am

    Now hump Trump is hawking the broadway version of The Apprentice. WTF!!! Somebody shoot me!

  18. 18
    Ashes
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 8:03 am

    Retroqueen, all Tana did was come up with the idea for a circle. A piece of paper shaped like a circle does not a brochure make. She got credit from Kendra, who never denied the shape was Tana’s idea, but Kendra handled everything else (text, internal layout, graphics, concept, etc.) that made it more than a blank circle.

    British, I also saw Tana on Conan. You could tell he didn’t like her much and kept getting in subtle (and, by the end, not so subtle) jabs at her. But as we so clearly saw during her Olympics task, Tana cannot read people to notice when they are unhappy or annoyed with her and thinks everyone loves her when they obviously do not. She didn’t pick up on Conan’s cues and kept making it worse for herself. It was rather pathetic.

  19. 19
    British
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 8:13 am

    Yeah Conan tried to diffuse the situation by drawing attention to himself with his Trump impersonation. That was the best part of the interview. Typically guests are laid back, etc, but Tana was having none of that.

    When Trump was on earlier, I missed most of the dialog(I was reading it CC at the gym), and of course Chris came up. Both had a good time.

  20. 20
    khaled
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 8:14 am

    The best part of the show was the promo for “I WANT TO BE A HILTON” What the f*ck!?! That was the first time I even heard of that garbage. Apparently, contestants will be learning class from Paris Sr. What the f*ck!?!

  21. 21
    Gary
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 8:46 am

    Was it just me, or did Bill look like a stunt double for Jim Carrey in “Liar, Liar?”

  22. 22
    joslyn
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 9:04 am

    FYI-
    If you missed the Newsweek article last week about what the former Apprentice winners actually do, if you go to http://www.newsweek.com and type in “Trump” in the “Search the Site” search engine, you can still pull up the article, free of charge, no subscription required.

  23. 23
    julie
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 9:08 am

    what’s wrong w/ nyu’s performing arts center??? it’s a wonderful place to hold functions! yes, i’m a nyu alum and i’m proud of it (not so proud that the stupid olsen twins are there, but whatev).

    on another note, i didn’t watch the finale but hearing about it was enough to make me cringe. whooping? good lord, tana, it’s 2005 not 1992.

  24. 24
    bill
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 9:26 am

    “Is there an article about Kelly & Bill’s office being near milena’s? I keep seeing that over and over again.”

    british… it’s mentioned in the newsweek article that joslyn commented about.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7857486/site/newsweek/

  25. 25
    Genevieve
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 10:17 am

    Real quick comment cause I have to get back to work.

    This final episode was lame. Besides the fact it was obvious who was going to win, it was so drawn out, boring & I’m sick of recaps. I wanted to hear what the people who had to work with the 2 women had to say. Or maybe even outtakes. I don’t know, it was just rather lame.

    And I would like to thank Tana because now when I’m eating a snack in front of someone I like to scream, “These bitches are mine!!”

  26. 26
    Ashes
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 11:23 am

    Genevieve, I also enjoy calling my snack foods by a pejorative nickname now. And I’ve taken to refusing to speak politely to or walk near anyone I consider to be beneath me at work, because Tana has taught me that real leaders and professionals make sure others know they are real leaders and professionals by acting like a snobby, delusional jerk. (Of course, I’ve also been spending 3/4 of my work time bedazzling things and then crowing about what a genius I am, but I was doing that long before Tana revealed to us her superior business acumen.)

  27. 27
    Jess
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 11:36 am

    I make sure all my memos are circular shaped, because that’s the true shape of success. Nevermind the content.

  28. 28
    RealityTV4Me
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 11:52 am

    My favorite part was when Tana showed even more of her down-home idiot self in a post-show interview on LIVE TV: “She was less conciliatory in a post-show interview with Des Moines’ WHO-TV in New York City. A combative and agitated Tana said she was naive to believe that a “street smart” person could win. She then said it was never going to happen. “It was all bull….” See article at http://www.dmregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050520/NEWS08/505200421&SearchID=73209049557891

    I liked her at first and thought she had a lot of class. Boy was I wrong! Of course, next to the other lumnuts around her, she did look good.

    Makes me wonder what sort of comments were made in the boardroom with the final contestant’s team members that they would scrap the whole thing.

    I also would have liked to have learned the winner at the beginning (a la Survivor) and then had a recap show with the contestants. But like others have already pointed out, that would just take the spotlight from the Trumpster. And apparently, we can’t have that.

  29. 29
    willintherace
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 12:06 pm

    Worst…..episode…..ever! I’m a big Apprentice fan but this season blew chunks. I think the finale really sealed the deal as to why I’ll be flipping the channel from NBC come fall. Never has someone so initially likeable, ie. Tana, turned so ugly so quickly. And I cannot believe, like you said B-side, that we spent nearly an hour sitting through Trump’s pathetic Newsweek response to know the outcome he pronounced at the very beginning of the show. Goodbye Apprentice, and good riddance.

    P.S. I Kelly the Florence Henderson referrence. Right on the money!

  30. 30
    Amanda
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 12:19 pm

    That Des Moines newspaper article is rediculous!
    Tana’s pretty delusional about her own self image.
    A street smarts person could totally have won, jeez, she nearly did, until she was so egotistical, obnoxious and stupid on the last task.
    Kendra may have laid low the first few weeks, but you can’t accuse her of having any of those hideous traits.
    Of course, if I were Trump, I would’ve fired Tana just based on her attire. The woman just loves leather and feathers entirely too much. Way unprofessional … that is, unless you’re a hooker I suppose.

  31. 31
    tuliplovr
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 1:08 pm

    B-Side, you are the recap KING! That may have been your best one yet. Especially the part about Chris & the bronx zoo and George and his bedazzled shirt. Maybe Tana can talk to George about getting a job as a soda jerk.

    Tana embarassed herself just like Scott Savol from AI and Kenya from ANTM.

  32. 32
    Tana Sucks
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 1:24 pm

    Tana saying there was never really any true shot of a street smarts team member winning was totally rediculous.

    I keep thinking that if Troy from Season 1 was on the Street Smarts team, he would’ve smoked everyone on either team. The candidates have really gone down in quality, and a listing of the book smarts’ teams alma maters really helps emphasize that, thanks B-side!

  33. 33
    bill
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 1:28 pm

    i miss Troy

  34. 34
    Ashes
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 3:13 pm

    The fact that Troy was fired in 5th place while the likes of Ivana and Jen last season and Alex, Craig, and Tana this season made it as far or farther than that angers me.

  35. 35
    hazasaem
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 3:58 pm

    How’s this for alliteration….
    TANA TOTALLY TANKED

  36. 36
    what???
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 4:13 pm

    Is that Kendra in the neighborhoodies ad on TVGasm’s front page? Looks freakily like her.

  37. 37
    Tana's Twat
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 4:46 pm

    I think Tana got screwed. Her end task was harder and she had more obstacles. Kendra’s task was simple.

    By the way, who cares about the other 2 apprentices? I could care less.

  38. 38
    Casey
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 5:59 pm

    According to SaTana, illustrious and surprisingly foul-mouthed Apprentice Runner-Up:

    Circles make you seem smart, despite a lack of content, so all I am going to say is:

    o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

    (actually, since those are all lowercase letter O’s, I didn’t even do that right … I guess I fall short of even SaTana’s standards)

  39. 39
    Gary
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 8:39 pm

    Hey Jos,

    Newsweek.com just listed a slew of unrelated material. Thanks for wasting ten minutes of my time.

  40. 40
    Datadragon
    Posted May 24, 2005 at 9:08 pm

    I just caught this in the recap, but I had to laugh when Gov. Pataki before walking out to address the crowd, says to one of the flag-bearing kids “O.K. You have the U.S. flag so you’ll walk out with me”, and the kid corrects him that he is actually holding the flag of Puerto Rico.

    What a dumbass.

    Hint Governer: 1 big star = Puerto Rico. 50 little stars = United States.

  41. 41
    joslyn
    Posted May 25, 2005 at 8:00 am

    Gary-
    I’m sorry to hear that you had a hard time finding the article. I just checked it again, and it is still accessible. A lot of things do pop up, so if you feel like wasting ten more minutes of your life, go back to newsweek.com, after you type “Trump”, the article is called, “Trump, What’s Second Prize?” . Hopefully that will help you sift through the clutter.

    Your friendly neighboorhood librarian in cyberspace,
    Joslyn

  42. 42
    Stefanie
    Posted May 25, 2005 at 8:10 am

    hey, shut up about my school! :)

    it’s actually a pretty nice theater. (compared to the crap black boxes that us theater majors have had to endure over the past years.)

  43. 43
    Rediculous
    Posted May 25, 2005 at 10:52 am

    Talk about a sore loser!
    Any mature person would admit their mistakes and congratulate the winner, not go on national TV and curse the contest’s judge.
    You never heard about Jen or Kwame making such a stink, and poor Jen got trashed way worse than saTana (love the nickname Casey, how appropriate!)
    Delusional that she thinks she actually learns from her mistakes. Keep on bad-mouthing people Tana, you’re just looking more evil to the American public with every word that shoots out of your catty mouth.

  44. 44
    LizyB
    Posted May 25, 2005 at 12:18 pm

    First, 1 hour is plenty and if they just cut the crappy recap, (if you haven’t been watching, shut up and listen, you’ll catch on.) I also kept waiting for Judge Judy to thwack The Donald out of her chair and start to question the defendants. Is that because if Chris began to implode/explode, we can go right to court and skip the arrest?? Why was he so medicated?? Where was the Krazy Chris? Wah!! I also wanted, with a quiet desperation, to see the others give Tana a collective Bitch slap for her attitude. I have a friend who runs the Volunteer Dept. for NYC2012 and she watched Tana lose complete control over the event and knew there was no US flag but let Tana SINK on her own. (being petty can be fun)

  45. 45
    Moolah
    Posted June 8, 2005 at 3:04 am

    Try this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7857486/site/newsweek/

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