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Tuesday, October 18, 2005
5:27 am
59 Comments
Last week on The Apprentice, we watched an immutable Rebecca stand up for Toral’s honor in the Boardroom. She defended her to the point of foolishness, but somehow wound up on top, escaping Trump’s wrath and sending meek Jennifer W. and her Tethno cake down to the street. This week we knew it was crunch time for Toral. She would have to either rise to the occasion or face certain death at the hands of the Donald. Now here’s the thing. Everyone on Toral’s team hates her. In fact, I’m sure most of America hates her too. But I LOVE her. I love her unwavering condescension, her frantic defensiveness, and most of all, her expressive little face that manages to be both smug and feisty all at the same time. She may be a pain to deal with in person, but c’mon now. Everyone needs a little Toral on their TV.One of the joys of Thursday nights is settling in on the couch, getting some popcorn and — what’s that? The show’s already begun? Whoa. No opening credits this week. FINE. I guess we’ll just start now. So much for my whimsical take on Apprentice viewing. Well, things were sort of weird at the top of the hour. We revisited last week’s Boardroom but intercut it with new footage. Eventually, we saw a hobbled Rebecca returning to the suite as her teammates greeted her with thinly masked disdain. You know how it goes: shocked silence followed by phony perkiness: “Oh shit. I mean, hiiiii sweety!!!!” Despite the smiles on the women’s faces, it was obvious they weren’t happy, especially Felisha who looked like she’d just seen Trump spit on her mother: sure she was mad, but she wasn’t going to say anything.
Sensing tension amongst the group, Rebecca called a girls-only meeting (sorry Clay) to address the evening’s drama-filled Boardroom. The pressing question: would Toral live up to Rebecca’s hype? “I guarantee you that you will see her step up on the next task. I guarantee it,” insisted Rebecca, thus ensuring Toral would certainly be failing miserably in the next task. And just in case we weren’t sure that she’d be completely flopping out, Toral reiterated that she would in fact step up. Kristi, in her biggest, baddest Reese Witherspoon voice, noted that Toral not only had to rise to the occasion but be twice the worker she could be, just to prove herself. Besides, she owed it to Rebecca. This has disaster written all over it.
Suddenly the credits began, and I felt somewhat relieved. I was a little worried that we wouldn’t get to hear the Ojays this week. Well, not only did we hear them, but when we came back after commercial, we got a taste of a little sumpin sumpin I like to call Rhona. Yes, the early morning phone call was back, and this week’s lucky recipient was none other than Marshawn… who looked pretty much as awful as she probably could look. The mission: meet at the “Trump Ice Cream Parlor” downstairs. Oh, doesn’t that sound delightful? I wonder if it’s located next to “Trump’s Ye Olde Taffy Shoppe” or maybe the “Trump Gobstopper and Lollipop Express.”
Actually, turns out “Trump Ice Cream Parlor” was less of a parlor and more of a booth, conveniently located in the lobby of Trump Tower. “We make great ice cream in Trump Tower,” said The Donald as we saw him chowing down on a scoop of what I imagine was Chunky Trumpy. Amazingly, he had a moment of modesty: “But it’s not a big deal like Dairy Queen. How’s business?” he asked, turning to two “Thanks for having us!” execs standing next to him. Nice segue, Donald.
Well, Trump set his ice cream aside but warned he would come back to finishing it: FINISHING ICE CREAM IS A THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY. He then introduced the Dairy Queen execs to the candidates, causing Clay to smirk with excitement. Look, just because Donald said the word “Queen” and then we cut to Clay does not mean we should draw any conclusions. Anyway, Trump explained that DQ’s biggest brand was the Blizzard. “It does three-quarters of a billion dollars in sales ANNUALLY!” he blared. Confession: I’ve never had a Blizzard. Second confession: now I’m tempted to go have one. Third confession: I’m a slave to product placement. Fourth confession: In between the third confession and this one, I went out and drove to Dairy Queen only to find that it was closed. But that’s okay because I went to this awesome little place instead and had like the best ice cream ever. Fifth confession: comedy comes in threes, not fives.
So anyway, Trump revealed that this week’s task was to create a new character and promotional campaign for the Blizzard brand. This just had hilarity written all over it. First of all, any time Apprentice-ites are charged with creating some sort of marketing strategy, it’s always a trainwreck (LAAAMBOOOORGHIIINIII), but now that they have to actually create a mascot of sorts, this just calls for all out lunacy. Well, over on Capital Edge, it was clear that Toral had to step up. Sure enough, she announced that she wanted to be Project Manager. Ooooor not. Okay, she basically did the “I’ll do it, but I’d rather not. But I’ll do it.” Not smart, my precious Toral. Not smart at all. Instead, Felisha “DECADENCE” Mason stepped up, despite not having any marketing experience.
Future flight attendants of America.
Over on the men’s team, Clay volunteered to be the main Dairy Queen, but the man had demands. Basically, he was like the perfect union of Christopher Lowell and Hitler. “I will do it based on two conditions. If I ask you to do something, you do it. When we schedule stuff, don’t be scheduling things without us. If you’re hungry, don’t whine about it,” he insisted, then adding, “And rule #3: look fab! Okay, let’s go girls!”
Meanwhile, on Capital Edge, we were treated to a favorite Apprentice pastime: dumb brainstorming. Yes, there’s nothing like an ice cream challenge to really bring out the creative horsepower on a team, and we mustn’t forget season two’s seminal task to design-your-own-flavor. Back then, the women’s team came up with a bevy of wonderful ideas like… lobster ice cream and… Bloody Mary ice cream and… Red Velvet Cake ice cream and… (my personal favorite) Old Bay Seasonings ice cream. Surely we’d be privy to more legendary thought processes.
As predicted, the women did not disappoint in their quest to create the perfect mascot. Marshawn got the ball rolling with the idea of “Scooper” the Scoop, but then Jennifer W. — she of the stewardess school of hairstyles — moved her team into bigger, bolder directions. “I think it needs to be something like ‘spin.’ I love spin,” she announced. Yes, too bad “spin” has nothing to do with Dairy Queen. As for Toral, well, let’s just say this was a task she probably should have delegated to one of her lovely secretaries. “Blizzard blister. Blizzard booster. Boost off,” she suggested, as if the idea of a blister mascot would actually be appetizing to anyone. Ah, but she wasn’t done. “Blizzard bumble bee,” she offered up before really finding her groove with “Blizzard Blizzamarol.” What’s a blizzamarol, you might ask? Beats me. But anything flowing from the colorful imagination of Toral can’t be half bad. Sadly, she neglected to also suggest “Blizzamadoodle,” “Blizzamaboop,” or her meta masterpiece, “Blizzamablizzard.”
As for Toral’s biggest fan, Rebecca simply wrote down three words that she really liked a lot: “Zip, zam, and zoom.” Well, everyone LOVED Zip, which was a shame because we never really got to hear from the “Bip, blam, boom” lobby. The gals quickly got to work creating “Zip” — that was the mascot’s name — and Jen immediately took a keen interest in the task. She said she wanted Zip to have big lips, a spoon, and a little pack that had “all the ingredients” which he would then zip (get it?) together. Maybe it’s just me, but Zip seemed kind of scary. He was at least objectionable. “Is it goofy? He looks a little goofy in that,” commented Toral, as if the blizzamarol were a beacon of class. You know, watching these women design Zip gave me new insight into how exactly the Olympic committee came up with “Whatizzit” for the 1996 Games.
“Whatizzit,” a.k.a. Izzy, a.k.a. the dumbest product of corporate creativity EVER.
Anyway, the next minor conflict arose when Jennifer said she wanted to put the Dairy Queen logo on Zip’s t-shirt. Sounds like a decent idea, right? Well, for some nonsensical reason, the girls all decided not to add the logo to the mascot because it seemed like “too much.” Yeah, that would be like putting the name of your product… on your product. Way to be dumb, JEN.
Actually, Jen was quite miffed about the team’s response to her suggestion. “The fact that I was a beauty queen makes people underestimate me all the time,” she complained. But to be fair, it’s hard to trust a girl who won Miss Blair Warner 2003 in the Annual Facts of Life Lookalike Pageant.
Over on the men’s team, Mark was heading up the brainstorming session. And no, he did not suggest a lowercase spin on DQ. Actually, the guys had a decent idea. They decided to go with a genie motif. I’ll let Clay explain: “Jenny the Genie has really great flowing hair that’s almost like ice cream, fairly large breasts, and lots of Dairy Queen bling.” It should be noted that as soon as Clay said “bling,” Tana from last season suddenly burst into the shot and yelled, “Yo yo yo! We got the best Dairy Queen bling straight up from the krunky wizard of the DQ blizzard. My boy Lil Jon is gonna get you krunkified with so much Dairy Queen bling, and that is fo’ rizzle my DQuizzle.”
By the way, Dairy Queen bling: only marginally more impressive than Bling Bling Barbie.
Anyway, the Excel team was all happy with Jenny the Genie (or Jenny Da Genie, if you really want to rock the bling bling), and Randal said he hoped people would want to hang out with her, take her home. It’s funny. I always want to hang out with corporate mascots. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve invited the Geico Gecko over for dinner.
Oh, and while we’re talking about Randal:
Well, now that the teams had come up with their characters, they had to actually create the costumes. Mark volunteered to dress up as Jenny the Genie, and later on, we could tell he was excited about the opportunity because, well, like I said, we could just tell. (He had a boner.) For the record, Clay wanted to duct tape Mark’s manhood, but at the end of the day, Jenny the Genie was allowed to exhibit some very Jamie Lee Curtis-esque traits.
Mark’s more excited than the time he found a free bottle of teeth whitener.
Meanwhile, as Felisha met with the costumers, she reiterated, “No Dairy Queen symbols on here.” Dumbest strategy ever. It didn’t take a genius to realize the women would be losing this task. Anyway, Felisha then called Toral up and asked her to be Zip, but uh oh, T-Dawg would not have it. She wouldn’t be a “childish” character, unless it was the famed Blizzamarol, but obviously, who would ever turn that down? Well, Kristi and Felisha and Alla were understandably annoyed, but then again, I couldn’t help thinking they’d pretty much set my dear, oft-flustered Toral up for failure. Those girls should know better. You mess with the bull and you get the horns — the feisty, condescending horns.
We broke for commercial, and when we returned, it was time for Trump to parlay his latest lesson: “Maximize Potential.” This was epitomized by The Donald delivering a speech and saying, “So get the best people and watch them.” With that, the audience broke out in laughter. Huh? Was there a punchline in there? These must be the same people who keep Yes, Dear on the air.
Over at Excel, the men were busy working on slogans and jingles. The short guy (Brian?) surprised everyone when he whipped out “Delicious wishes are at your command at any DQ across the land.” Whoa… Well done. But not to be outdone, Randal then stepped it up with a semi-rap: “I’m a genie in a blizzard baby, fun is what I’m about. If you want to taste delicious wishes, just come and let me out.” Advantage: RANDAL. But wait! This battle ain’t over yet. Enter Adam. This guy’s one part Jewish, one part effeminate, and all parts college a cappella. He actually took Randal’s words and set them to the tune of “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel.” But what was really so amazing about this little performance was that you just knew that Adam’s been waiting to bust out his singing ability for weeks now. You just know he’s been crossing his fingers for Trump to announce, “For this week’s task, you’ll be performing HMS Pinafore.” Of course, all this brainstorming was fun and everything, but when Clay returned from a long day at the costume shop, he completely scrapped everything. And just in case we weren’t sure just how much of a bitch he was, he snipped, “I don’t want you to speak until I ask you to speak.” Adam then sang out, “But caaan we siiiiing??” Okay, that didn’t happen, but you just know he was dying to do it.
Back on the women’s team, it was time to pile on Toral. Felisha and Kristi were still fuming about the Zip situation, but Toral explained her reasoning: “I can’t do anything that’s gonna embarrass my family under any situation.” Because going on a reality show will never be embarrassing. Jennifer tried to assuage Toral’s fears by saying, “They’re not gonna even know you’re in there.” Yeah, seriously. How will Toral’s family ever know she was in a stupid Zip costume? It’s not like it’s being broadcast across the country. Oh wait…
Anyway, in the end, Kristi was the one who had to wear the stupid Zip costume, and while that sucked for her, you’ve got to admit: if there’s anyone suited for wearing a mascot, it’s Kristi. I mean, she already kind of looks like one. Well, having triumphed over her catty teammates, Toral congratulated herself in an interview, noting, “Again, my judgment was 100% on target, and I don’t regret it for a minute.” Whatever you say, Toral Manigault-Stallworth.
Zip! Wow, he actually looks a lot like the Whatizzit. That’s just sad.
Eventually, it was time to pitch the characters. The women were first, but sadly, we were not treated to a string of dramatic adjectives. Don’t worry though, I have some lined up: POWER. ICE CREAM. FLAVORS. DECADENCE. PASSION. DAAAAIIIIIRRRRRY QUEEEEEEN. Nevertheless, Jennifer took the reins and pitched that lovable Zip to the execs, telling stories about his magical whimsies and Sunday drives in his brand new Laaaamboooorghiini. I apologize. I’m beating this joke to death, but I just can’t help it. Some might say I have a Toral-ish PASSION for it. (Imagine me turning to the camera, my eyes smoldering with said passion.)
Well, it didn’t take long for the execs to corner Capital Edge with questions. For instance, most of Dairy Queen’s consumers are teens, not children. How will Zip appeal to them? Oh, uh… Next question please? Actually, what really stumped the gals was when the execs unsurprisingly asked how someone would realize Zip was associated with Dairy Queen. Not even beauty queen Jennifer could answer that. She had to back off and let Marshawn take over. Wow. That’s like Blair making Tootie stand up to Mrs. Garrett. Anyway, Marshawn produced a fine stream of bullshit about how the swirl in Zip’s design was iconic of Dairy Queen. Probably not as iconic as writing “Dairy Queen” on Zip’s shirt, but I guess she had a point. No, not really. She had no point. Marshawn also argued that the spoon was clearly all Dairy Queen, but I hate to break this to her: all ice cream places have spoons.
As for the men, they fared much better. First off, Markus buttered up the execs by serving them quite the delightful platter of fruits, cheese, and crackers. Just about the only thing missing was a harpist in the corner. Then, after a trembly-voiced introduction from Clay, the one and only Jenny the Genie walked in and… she didn’t look half bad — well, as long as you ignored those genie pit stains. Still, the genie mask nicely hid Mark’s face, and the soft-serve hair was surprisingly effective. It was therefore no surprise that the men easily won this task, and despite his tyrannical rule, Clay won exemption from firing. Hey, what happened to the men from week one who said they’d only vote for exemption if the PM went above and beyond? Boo. I call shenanigans.
Barbara Bush is really looking good these days.
For their reward, the guys headed off to Shea Stadium to play ball with the Mets. Of course, Trump dropped by to show off his skillz, which meant we saw him weakly throw a ball, and then we cut to a player catching some other faster moving ball. The real highlight though was watching the guys call Brian “the guy who was in Seabiscuit.” Aw, poor guy. So short. Don’t worry, Trump kind of defended him, but honestly, this whole segment was fairly dumb and boring. Let’s get back to those crazy girls!
In the suite, Felisha confronted Toral about not wearing the Zip costume. “I said I have a personal and spiritual belief about that stuff,” explained Toral. Actually, Toral never mentioned her spiritual objections to Zip, but to be fair, if there’s anything that wreaks of sacrilegious blasphemy, it’s an oversized creature that spews both chunks and cream at the same time.
Not everyone was coming down on Toral though. Jennifer felt Felisha had massively screwed up by not placing the DQ logo anywhere on Zip. When Jen asked who was in charge of team strategy, Felisha happily responded, “I just don’t think that falls on one person.” Yeah, it’s not like there’s a “Project Manager,” whatever that is.
As the girls headed into the Boardroom, Toral told us, “Let each of these individuals self-implode. Because they’re so stupid. They have no intelligence. They have no backbone.” Sadly for Toral, she seemed unaware of her own ability to implode faster than a demolished building. In front of Trump, even though Felisha was attacked for the logo oversight, it was Toral who faced the most scrutiny.
“Mr. Trump, I believe that this group is outstanding,” she said. Oh. Wait. Never mind. That was kind of nice. Oops, she wasn’t done: “Mr. Trump, I believe that this group is outstanding at setting up balloons and cheese trays and making song and dance routines.” Heh. I love Toral. For the record, her team was not, in fact, outstanding at setting up cheese trays. Why in just this episode Markus completely outclassed them with his assorted fromage. Good thing Jennifer W. wasn’t still around. She probably would have offered up a tray of Triscuits and American Cheese, maybe writing “Dairy Queen” in EZ Cheese (but of course, it would be misspelled as “Diary Quen”).
Well, Toral went on and on about how her team had dropped the ball, thus paving the way for Trump’s inevitable question: “So where were you?” Gotcha Toral! Where’s your PASSION now? In a totally unnecessary move, Toral then brought up the fact that she didn’t wear the Zip costume. Silence is golden, Toral. Shhhhh. But no, she was determined to stick her foot in her mouth. She then asserted that she would never wear any silly costume such as a chicken suit, causing The Donald to remark, “I wore a chicken suit. On Saturday Night Live. Did anybody see Saturday Night Live?” He then added, “Was I not fantastic on Saturday Night Live? Because I think I was.” I’m sure when this episode was taped, Trump had no idea what other embarrassing costumes would be in store for him…
As Trump grilled Toral about her reluctance to wear Zip, she made the fatal mistake of playing the religious card. Once she did that, it was all downhill. Or more downhill, I should say. “Did you say religion?” asked The Donald, “Now remember, you have to tell the truth. We’re talking about religion.” And Toral’s response? “I believe I did.” Well, this made Trump quite mad as he accused her of basically lying. Making matters worse, Toral then said that Felisha deserved the blame for the loss because she had lots of experience in marketing and advertising. Uh, actually Felisha said she had little to no experience in those fields. I’m surprised the sprinklers didn’t go on in the Boardroom because Toral was going down in flames.
Passion?
PASSION!
Never one to ignore a potentially divisive situation, Trump then questioned Rebecca and asked if Toral was at fault this task. The financial journalist stalled for a bit, but then delivered another one of her great Boardroom speeches (this one was considerably shorter but just as effective). Rebecca expressed disappointment that Toral had not stepped up as Project Manager, but this just set off a whole new wave of idiocy by T-dog as she claimed that she wanted to be PM but then didn’t get it and this was all Felisha’s fault and yada yada yada. Trump simply confounded her again, stating, “If you wanted to be Project Manager, all these problems would be solved.” Can’t argue with that. And then before even the second Boardroom, Trump bellowed, “I am so disappointed with you, Toral. You have a great Wharton education, but you are totally ineffective. You’ve done a terrible job, and Toral, you’re fired. GO! OUT!”
Alas, with the flick of the old finger gun, Toral was sent packing, thus ending the brief tenure of my new favorite reality snob. I doubt we’ll be seeing her in Kill Reality 2, but she’s pretty much a lock for the Apprentice’s traditional “bring the crazy people back” season finale (that is unless Mark Burnett tries to get real cute and gives the Trump finalist three Martha rejects and vice versa). Well, as the irascible sped away in a taxi, we then heard Toral’s last, beautifully delusional words: “Some people take their personal dignity very seriously. I’m a person of stature and respect, and in everyday life, I don’t think I would even speak to somebody like Kristi or Felisha. I mean, these are not people I would even hire as my administrative assistant honestly.” She then added, “That’s assuming I had an administrative assistant. Which I don’t. But I will someday. I am a woman of great stature and dignity. Just like all reality stars.”
What did you think about Toral? Love her? Hate her? And what’s up with the preview for next week’s episode. The blatant product placement of Zathura looks like it might be more horrendous than usual. What do you think?
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59 Comments
As always…love your screen caps!!! Toral was a delight to hate…she was so over the top in love with herself. Loved how she referred to her team as “they lost the task and I am pleased that they did” like she had nothing to do with it, oh yeah, she did nothing. I will miss her.
The Randall comparison is spot on. Ever since the show started he has reminded me of someone; the best I could come up with was the guy with the fake nose who was the lead singer of Digital Underground (of Humpty Dance face).
I’m still rooting for Marshawn. Having seen her twirl her baton in the Miss Texas pageant for several years in the mid 90s – before she moved to DC – it would be quite a shift in gears to have her be the next Apprentice.
loved the recap, I watch these shows but still read your recaps,awesome!
The randall camparison, oh my, I was laughing out loud at my desk.
I will miss Toral, she was such a biatch.You love to hate her.
That woman was crazy deluded.
She was just hoping for a free pass to the final four where she would magically step up and be brilliant. (at least in her own mind)
whacko!
It was fun watching her implode though.
I do feel sorry for Toral in one respect. I think the girls picked on her and thought it would be funny to get her in the mascot costume. I don’t think they were right to bully her into doing that. She should have stepped up as project manager and then she could have been in control.
I agree it was a mistake not to put the brand name on the character. Here’s a list of the top ad icons. Some use the brand name while others do not. But it has taken millions of ad $ to associate the character with the product.
http://www.adage.com/century/ad_icons.html
damn, bling bling barbie looks like a $2 hooker!
as for the genie costume, i would have thought they could have done something to hide the fact that the volumptuous genie HAS A PACKAGE-like say a bigger DQ belt.
hey, at least mr kehogan wasnt in the costume.
toral is a total see you next tuesday and i work with i-bankers each day and i’d say she is totally in the 99%-tile of total assholes. being an asshole is NOT a three billion dollar industry you whore.
Jenny the genie gave me the major league willies. That was the creepiest thing I have ever seen! Do these people not watch Nip/Tuck? When is Jenny the Genie going to turn into Jenny the psycho masked slasher, making blizzards out of people’s faces? Nightmares are made of this sh*t.
*shudder*
C’mon–Why didn’t the chicks just name their little guy “Splooge” and be done with it? Goofy? Yes; and more than a little come-droppish, too. Yuck. But to be fair, check out the dried splooge on the neck of the guys’ genie. You know, my love affair with ice cream will be forever tainted by this episode.
Awww, B-Side thanks for the shout-out. You made my day with the handy
side-by-side comparison!
Anywho, yes, Toral was a total bitch, but the way everyone ganged up on her was just some white girls against the minority chick bullshit I’ve seen played out in real life so many times. And Toral not wearing that costume had nothing to do with why they lost. Toral should have told fake Reese Witherspoon that her short, stubby ass was perfect for that stupid mascot costume. Then Toral should have been claimed her own task, like say no bitches I will be doing XYZ, that’s my task and that’s it! Her other option since she did not fight to become the project manager was to just go along to get along, show team player-ism, and then on a future task, shut it down and rock the hell out of the leadership position.
I absolutely agree. Jenny the Genie should have come with her own Psycho soundtrack. That was the creepiest thing I have ever seen!
And I must be pretty spoiled, but Mark’s “package” is nothing to write home about. (THAT’s a boner?!?!) In fact, the comment made about Phil K. not being in the costume also made me wonder. I have watched TAR just about every season. I STILL have yet to see any package. I guess the package that I have presented to me every night really IS something to write home about. Speaking of which, note to self: send mom and dad a nice piece of correspondence. Riiiiiiight.
Toral was worried about embarrassing herself by wearing the mascot costume? Uhhh, and snarling “PASSION!” was perfectly in keeping with someone of stature and respect.
Though Toral’s right, the woman do SUCK ASS! The only task they won, wasn’t so much on account of their success as the men’s failure. Zip?! OK, besides the massive problems with the mascot itself, what the eff was with that firehose attached to some non-descript silver backpack that spews out blizzards?! (Oh but teenagers will like it because they like gadgets). Blizzards aren’t even made that way, fools. And rocket shoes?! ROCKET SHOES???!!! WTF?!
Hehehehehehehe, once again, Toral makes for the best screencaps. I’ll miss her.
#9, You think Toral could actually “rock the hell” out of task manager? She’s a deluded idiot. End of.
How could the women possibly think that having a DQ symbol on the mascot was a bad idea? They still would have lost, because they really did just recreate the stupid and unpopular Atlanta Olympics mascot. But adamantly asserting that the DQ symbol would have been “too much?” Come on!
Any chance we can get one of the tasks to be designing an ad campaign for one of Gordan Ramsey’s restaurants. I know, rival networks, but just think about it.
-Trump says something about food being an ELEVENTY BILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS.
-Ramsey takes offense and makes some kind of dog crap insult at Trump.
-Trump says “You’re Fired” with a finger gun snap to Ramsey.
-Ramsey tells him to “Shut it down” and then makes the perfect risotto.
I think I just had a tvgasm thinking about that.
OMG MODULUS that was probably the best comment ever.
#12, I guess we’ll never know.
Modulus, that was hilarious. Ramsey calling Trump a plank would be the ultimate.
#13, true enough, but not having the logo was the least of the things wrong with that mascot. Can’t believe Blair “Rocket Shoes” Warner, was gonna try and milk that in the boardroom, when it seems she came up with the bulk of the ideas for that travesty.
I wasn’t aware that the Church of the Condescending Bitch was an organized religion, but if Toral says it’s so, I guess we should give her the benefit of the doubt.
Here’s to hoping she makes an appearance in the finale. Her stature practically demands it.
Anytime somebody mentions HMS Pinafore, I am reminded of Gilbert and Sullivan, and will then have I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General in my head for at least a week.
Damn those Pirates of Penzance.
-J
toral deserved to go, but her situation reminds us of the bi-polar nature of a job interview which requires you to team up with your competition. sadly, if she’d just put on the stupid costume and kept her mouth shut, felisha would have been canned. toral would have embarrassed her family a lot less by wearing the suit than she did by getting fired in boardroom round 1.
but the whole ‘let’s make toral wear the costume’ totally reeked of mean-girl cheerleaders ganging up on the non-blonde who refused to kiss their asses. and she’s right about those girls: they are a bunch of bimbo reality TV whores who make maria boren look like a model of professionalism and accomplishment.
J-Unit, whenever someone mentions HMS Pinafore I think of the Simpsons where they mocked Cape Fear.
Anyway, now that I’ve shown what a feeble mind I have, I think my ex-wife was one of the charter members of the Church of the Condescenging Bitch. I just wasn’t aware it was a national denomination.
Rick D.
That Reese Witherspoon is doing an awful lot of trash talking for someone who did a HORRIBLE job as project manager. I thought she was spunky and cute at first but now I just think she is like a little annoying lap dog.
I at least give MArshawn props for attempting to field the question about name placement. The rest of the girls were just standing there poised to accelerate their decent into flames.
sorry, as i hit post I saw i spelled descent wrong. that was gonna bug me all day if i left it (though I spell about 50% of most of my posts incorrectly.)
Any chance Toral will get a job at the post Office???
Toral ! Toral ! Toral !
Jocelyn (#9):
I absolutely agree with you. Yes, Toral was a stuck-up bitch but if she was a stuck-up BLONDE bitch, she would not have been so hated.
And B-Side – Toral Manigault-Stallworth?!?!?! OUCH! (but lol)
An EM AND EM blizzard is delightfully decadent, I must say.
WOuldnt it be great if tehy went with Blizzard Blister? A mascot thats just a big oozing open sore.
OR if the guys tagline was “blizzard?� Oh what could have been….
Wharton is for chumps.
Toral was a stuck-up bitch but if she was a stuck-up BLONDE bitch, she would not have been so hated.
Oh please…hello? Remember Pamela? Jennifer M? Tana? The problem isn’t the color of their hair (or skin for that matter), it’s the extent of their self-righteous attitudes that caused them to be hated. Being the high priestess of the Church of the Condescending B*&$^ was Toral’s downfall.
Oh come on – a bitch of Toral’s magnitude would’ve been hated just as much were she blonde.
I was a bit uncomfortable with the way her teammates tried to force her into the costume, clearly Toral is not mascot material… until, that is, she opened her mouth. She could’ve said that a more “bubbly” person like Kristi was a much better fit for that task, which would be in the best interests of the team, but noooooooo, she started going on and on about how it was so beneath her, but perfectly suitable for the rest of the team.
blah blah blah…whatever.
If Toral was a white, blonde chick she would’ve been accepted into the “Flight Attendant” clique right away and none of the drama with the others would’ve happened.
Toral’s problems didn’t have anything to do with race, just like Omarosa’s problems weren’t based on race. Marshawn doesn’t seem to be the focus of the team’s ganging up, and Rebecca, who is white, has been a target already. So the “flight attendant” clique must not be picking on people with race as the defining factor.
That’s because Marshawn keeps her mouth shut. If she was more outspoken I think it would be a different story.
The quiet minorities go farther in reality shows.
And please, can you honestly compare Toral to Omarosa?!?! NOBODY compares to Omarosa! That one’s in a league all her own.
the only reason they were forcing the issue with toral and the costume is they wanted to get rid of her, and needed a specific incident to point to in the boardroom to get her fired. So thats why they made the whole costume issue a big deal. It was the opening they needed to accuse her of not beign a team player. Of coutrse whether she did or did not wear teh suit had nothing to do with them losing, but thats irrelevant. Thats what apprentice is all about. you try to a. win your task and b. make sure you have a good scapegoat ready for the boardroom in case you lose.
So being a minority gives you carte blanche to be as big a bitch as you want. Awesome.
Besides all that, let’s not forget that Toral admitted herself her performance had been half-assed all along, and uses her minority status when it’s convenient for her, totally fabricating that “it’s against my religion” thing when it looked like her ass might be cooked.
Someday, some network will cast a major reality show with all minorities and one or two white people. And I mean like Survivor with all gay people save 1 ro 2. Or Amazing Race with all Asians except 1 or 2 teams.
We would learn a lot about ourselves, our culture, how our society behaves, and how mini-opposite world societies behave. It would be interesting on several levels.
And please don’t give me gimmick shows like Boy meets Boy or obviously skewed demographic shows like that one that was on BET recently. Even MTV could step it up with the REal World. Flip everything – would the minorities “go after” the whites/straights?
Such a simple idea… but the stupid networks still think we all watch for the pretty blonde girls in flight attendant school. Give me a break.
Look at freaking Martha’s Apprentice and Amazing Race. It’s like fucking Klan rally already.
Flavor, people, flavor. It makes the world go round.
PS. Omarosa is still a useless bitch through and through no matter how much pigmentation her skin has.
sg-dub, here’s an interesting question based on your idea about a mostly minorities version of a reality show–in addition to the question of whether a white person would be targeted at all, there’s the question of if a white person was voted off first, or set up for failure after becoming unpopular with the team, would the minority group be accused of doing if for mostly racial reasons?
Realitylover –
totally. that’s what I mean… it would almost be a case study of sorts. It would really expose America in an almost benign, harmless way. BUT, the things we’d learn, I think, would be pretty telling.
Listen, I’m a total WASP male (except I disavowed the P long ago) but I’ve been in numerous and frequent situations where I was the only WASP present. I’ve even been in situations where I was discriminated against – and it’s VERY illuminating.
Now put that on TV in the context of a stupid reality show – and it’ll be great.
ok, enough of me being serious – I guess this happens when the shows I recap go on hiatus/hibernation!
Genius recap, as always!
I can picture Mr. Trump as Willy Wonka, with the big hat, velvet coat, and twirly cane (though he drilled Raj about using a cane last season or the season before … all the seasons are blurring together for me).
I can see Adam breaking out into “Candyman,” a la Sammy Davis, Jr., and Toral being forced to be one of the Oompa-Loompas.
The “blister” idea was gross. I can see it now: the New ‘Blizzard Blister’ — DQ is VD (Very Delicious).
Toral was a huge bitch, I am so glad she is gone, although she added some great drama to the show. I think it has nothing to do with her not being blonde, she is just a bitch. Everytime she talked to anyone (besides Rebecca) she talked down to them and treated them like she was better. That attitude does not get you very far.
Shelley-
You are so on point. Those blonde bimbos are bitches too-they just are all on the same team and ganged up on Toral because their own shit is so weak. And Marshawn already did get clowned-remember all that mess those Barbie bitches were talking about Marshawn during the Lam-booor-gee-nee task? The only difference was that the won. And even then Chimpmunk Kristi did not want to give her an exemption. I can’t wait ’till she gets fired. She talks so much shit, with her lame XXX self!
Felisha five-head is an angry bitch with a fake smile. She is the love child of Tonya Harding and Scott Hamilton.
Toral is good tv. But she doesn’t seem the type to whore herself out for every last nickle she can squeeze, like Assmarosa. So sadly we may never get to watch the facial scrunch again..
I miss Raj.
When will you have another Giada head-size update?
How long is Randal going to use the dead grandmother to his advantage? Every show, it seems. Are we sure she’s dead? Do we have another Jonny Fairplay on our hands? Is Randal going to crap in Toral’s bed?
It would of been fun to see Toral on a few more shows. I love a good persian overly intelligent psychotic.
KH
I liked Toral. Arrogant? Pretentious? Rude? Sure. But those blonde bitches sucked ass at the task and it wasn’t Toral’s fault. It didn’t matter who wore the damn costume, the problem was that the character SUCKED ASS.
And I wish I had this episode on tape so I could see who shut down the tall blonde woman who suggested a DQ T-shirt. Dumbasses.
Toral definately deserved to go home. The Zip costume was horrible, and I don’t blame her for not wanting to wear it, but it was definately time to ‘take one for the team’. Yes, the rest of Toral’s team hates her, but do you blame them? What a wretched woman! I don’t think race or hair color is the issue. As Trump said, she was “ineffective”. End of story.
Also- I love that the men saw what a hit their cheese trays and cookie were at the Tethno Expo, and attempted to sweep this challenge with snacks too. George is proud!
Toral was a self-loving bitch, but she acknowledged she was not giving it her all. Look at the tasks they are given. In Toral’s mind, they were beneath her. At the same time, the blond witches are giving 100% and failing miserably. I think Toral knew she was surrounded by idiots. Any way, so far, I really admire Rebecca and Marshawn. They seem to have a sense of self-respect, good work ethic and non-bitchy ways. That is probably why they are not in the blond witch click. Clay is OFC. I have no idea why the men tolerated his Napoleon ways. Either they are all push overs or have great restraint.
Great recap…”Chunky Trumpy” is an instant classic.
As for Toral, she may be book smart, but has little in the common sense department. Sitting around on your ass doing nothing waiting for all of the others to self-destruct is about the dumbest strategy I’ve ever heard. Exactly how is that supposed to showcase your alleged talents?
And those pictures of her were great…looked like she was having a very difficult visit to the bathroom.
I have two words: Passion? PASSION!
classic, oh man – BRILLIANT
Has anyone failed to notice that the comments here are lumping attractive blonde women into a stereotype or category? It’s funny to me how people pick and choose what is out of line because they are judging someone on their race or ethnicity, but somehow bitching about a group (one with many stereotypes) that aren’t considered a minority is acceptable.
You know what’s even funnier? When the group with all of the power and influence (and ability to railroad someone onto getting fired on this show and in real life)feel as if they should be defended or that they are somehow the victim when they get called on their bullshit. It’s not the color of their hair that’s the problem, it’s their bullying, cliquish, unearned superior behavior that is offensive.
Hilarious recap, that was great. Blizzamadoodle, I love it!
Two things- Trump changed the ballot on the Immunity Vote. In the first 2 episodes it was, “Does anyone think this person should get immunity?” This time around he asked, “Does anyone think this person _shouldn’t_” which puts the owness on someone to step forward and be a hater.
My other comment is that Jen W would have spelled it “Dairy Qween,” but either way that was hilarous stuff.
Best-
Koby
Joslyn are you having a secret love affair with Toral or something?
“It is their bullying, cliquish, unearned superior behavior that is offensive.” What, they ganged up on her because she was a tremendous bitch who said they were all beneath her? Sounds fair to me.
Oh and one other thing: THIS IS THE APPRENTICE. Quit defending this imbecile.
Okay, Toral might be “smart” have gradutated from a pretgious school and come from a nice Family, But she has no social skills, and was brought up a “caste” society here in her secluded life,which may help in “her” circle but will be eaten alive especially with WOmen
Kristie should be disqualified, didnt she call Toral a bitch. ?
On National TV ? syndication etc//??
I thought I was watching wild kingdon when the dingos eat the weakest member and leave the fur bits
Wait my friends wait, when they start mixing the group all THOSE who have been low key and hidden will be exposed and eaten alive also. Kristie and Clayton will have a go at it
#51:
Yes, Toral and I are engaged, in fact, and we are thinking about adopting a little blonde girl as soon as possible so we can raise her to have a mind of her own and not to be a follower like the Apprentice posse.
And no, I won’t stop defending her, because although I agree Toral had her issues, for this week, for this task, I don’t think she should have been fired.
Go Joslyn.
What was Toral’s real religion? Does anyone know? I read on another website that she got the boot from Columbia for plagiarism. Now, I don’t know if that is true, but that says a lot for embarrassing your family, ass.
And I love that other people have noticed Phil’s huge cock on TAR. How bout that thing? No wonder Myrna wanted to get on it!
Yeah, Toral wasn’t the reason for the failure, but sometimes a person gets fired just for being enough of an asshole.
That’s just the way it goes on the Apprentice. Trump has little patience for a bad attitude and Toral dug her own hole in the boardroom two weeks in a row (her brilliant “do-nothing” strategy didn’t exactly help either).
sg-dub: absolutely brilliant commentary about reversing the “minority” role.
a bit startling to read at 4:30 in the morning on this website!
I, too, thought the Toral pictures looked like she was midst-growler.
I just about woke the house up laughing at, “”Blizzamablizzard”….mmmm, TASTY!
Rosemary,
according to an interview Toral did, she’s buddhist. But when asked why she wouldn’t wear the mascot for religious reasons, she said she didn’t know if there’s any tenet of buddhism that forbids it or not. She said her personal opinion is that a human dressing up like any non-human thing is demeaning and wrong in all situations. When the interviewer challenged her by saying that buddhism forbids pride and arrogance, she tried to laugh it off. But then she admitted to being a snob and, during the same interview, mocked the other contestants for not having money and not going to exclusive schools.
Ew! Ew! Ew! Toral is officially a disgusting human being. Just thinking about her makes me want to throw up.