Where’s Beckham When You Need Him?

Previously on the Apprentice, Derek got his white trash self fired, and Jenn was also shown the door for being a bad Project Manager.

Back in Tent City, the four remaining members of Kinetic discuss the fact that they need to get a win. This black and white tent-o-vision is really starting to remind me of the Blair Witch Project, minus the shaky-cam. All we need is some really awful dialogue and complaints about walking around in circles and we’re there.

“I’m so scared right now!”

Inside the mansion, Surya goes on and on about how much he loves his new team. “You guys are so smart, you guys are so wonderful,” blah blah blah. God this guy is conniving. Frank can’t take anymore of Surya’s bullshit and gets up and goes to bed. And for possibly the first time all season, I can actually agree with Frank’s comments when he says “I hate Surya.” Indeed.

“My Members Only jacket is being dry cleaned.”

The next morning (sans early morning phone call again) the teams gather at Echo Park where they’re greeted by Trump and his right-hand man for this task, Bill. Trump is finally sporting a new tie, going with purple for the day. I’m not sure what happened to the Go Cuse orange one, maybe it’s finally being dry-cleaned. Maybe he was just upset they got left out of the NCAA’s this year. In any case, today’s color remains purple. Trump also introduces an exec from GNC, the judge for this week’s task.

This week’s task is to perform a halftime show during an LA Galaxy game to promote GNC. Oooh, professional soccer! Apprentice LA has finally hit the big time! There’s gotta be at least, I don’t know, at least a dozen people in this country who follow American soccer. Maybe more.

In their van, Tim comes up with some idea about a boxing match and while everyone gets really excited about it, Surya calls a timeout and wants everyone to be quiet and think for five minutes. While it doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense to shut up while you’re trying to brainstorm, Frank continues his douchebaggery during the five minutes of silence with constant updates on how much time is left. I’m having a hard time deciding who I hate more on this team…Surya is clearly a horrible leader but Frank is clearly mentally retarded.

Reflection Time. Right before nap time but after snack time.

Over in Van Kinetic, Kristine mentions that she used to run the halftime promotions for the arena football team in Miami so she takes charge as the PM. Wow, professional soccer AND arena football? With any luck someone will have some experience working for the National Spelling Bee or perhaps the Ping Pong Championships.

Kristine explains her idea of having a bunch of people dressed up as vitamins and overcoming various obstacles. Muna expresses some concerns about the idea but Kristine assures Muna that everything will be okay.

Over in some giant workshop, Team Arrow begins designing their boxing ring when James pipes up and begins saying he’s not sure it’s such a great idea anymore. Hmm, maybe he should have thought of this earlier during the five minute reflection period. Oh well, too late now.

Across the way in their workshop, Team Kinetic designs all of their costumes and props. According to Kristine, Muna starts acting like a control freak. I’m not sure where all of this bad blood started between the two of them, but I can only hope it ends in a bikini-clad mud wrestling match. To the death.

Also, I could be wrong, but it appears that a lot of their signage is in both English AND Spanish! Hey, looks like someone finally learned their lesson.

The teams head over to the soccer arena and do a few test runs of their program. This is going to get ugly. In the locker room, James continues to worry that their program isn’t going to be able to get the message across to 15,000 people. 15,000 people go to Galaxy games? Really?

Even Bill is starting to worry. He tells us that it’s utter chaos in the locker room and that it will be a miracle if they can pull this off. The good news however, is that it will be halftime at a professional American soccer game, so most of the “fans” will be asleep anyway if they haven’t already left the building.

And it hits halftime, with the exciting score of 0-0! American soccer, you gotta love it.

Thrilling.

Team Kinetic is first to perform, which should give Arrow several more minutes to try to come up with new ideas and change everything once more. Arrow has a few people dressed up as vitamins running around on the field going through obstacles. It looks pretty ridiculous, but at least they have Muna shouting things in Spanish…

“Hey, they’re speaking our language this time!”

Next up is Arrow. They set up a boxing ring in the middle of the field and introduce Tim as “Joe,” a guy who is not doing so great in the boxing ring of life. The crowd looks on, mostly with completely blank looks on their faces. There doesn’t appear to ever be any kind of “boxing match,” so I’m a little confused as to what they were trying to convey as is Trump and Mr. GNC.

“This is the most mediocre halftime performance at an LA Galaxy game that I have ever seen.”

After the half, Trump meets with the teams to give them the verdict. The GNC exec liked Kinetic’s show, and was especially pleased that they decided to integrate Spanish. However, he didn’t really follow Arrow’s show, and declares Kinetic the winner.

Kristine tells us she’s very happy they won, because otherwise she was going to have to “bury Muna.” Hopefully under a pile of Jello.

Kinetic’s reward will be a day spent playing golf at Trump’s very own course. If they play golf anything like they play basketball, it should be a real treat for everyone.

Team Arrow is forced to move back to the tents, where the wind is roaring and coyotes are howling and yes, someone is going to be fired.

The next day Kinetic goes over to Trump’s golf course where they smack a few balls around. Trump also gives them a brand new set of Donald Trump Golf Clubs. Trump is also impressed by all the ladies golf skills, as they all appear to be pretty decent, or at least better than the last group of potential candidates he took golfing.

Good form.

Through the shrubbery in the backyard, Surya explains to Angela that he’s concerned his team is going to gang up against him in the boardroom. Muna comes over and chimes in that Surya needs to try to get the team against James. Yeah, that’ll happen.

“Is this Heaven?”

And we’re off to the boardroom, where Kristine and Bill are waiting. Trump enters and asks Frank (why Frank?) to explain the concept of their show.

Frank says it was to convey a positive message about GNC, but also says that it was boring. The story idea all came from Tim, and if Surya is smart, he’ll key in on that fact. James says that he feels that Surya has not been a great PM because he’s very disconnected from the team.

Tim says “we’re all similar in a certain way.” What way is that? Annoying? Stupid? Nicole says she agrees with Tim (shocking).

Surya finally pipes up in defense of himself. He says he’s already got two wins and the team sucked before he got there. He goes on to say that James is the biggest problem on the team. Finally feeling threatened for probably the first time this season, James says that the problem is that Surya ok’d the whole boxer idea. While this is true, the entire team was completely stoked on it to the point where they didn’t even bother thinking of other ideas for the show.

Trump goes down the line, and everyone says that Surya should be fired. Man, Surya is really getting thrown under the bus here instead of Tim who came up with their stupid idea in the first place. Surya decides that he’s bringing back James and Tim.

Trump asks Kristine and Bill what they would do. Kristine says “I’d fire all three of them.” Ouch. Bill is a bit more on the fence between James and Surya, saying that Tim’s the only person who came up with any ideas.

Upon his re-entrance into the boardroom, Surya goes right on the defensive. James says Surya’s problem is that he cuts people off when they’re brainstorming. I knew that five minute reflection period was going to come back to bite him.

Surya says that James should be fired for “disloyalty.” Bill chimes in and says that he has James all figured out and thinks that James is always just trying to cover his ass.

Surya makes what is probably going to be a fatal error when he says that in this particular team, he functions better when he’s not leading. God. He might as well have just called himself Indian Trash.

Trump says that James did nothing to lose this task and Surya, you’re fired. Surya stands up and looks like he’s going to cry. Poor Surya.

I don’t know about this one…what did you guys think? Did Surya deserve the boot?