www.Begin-My-15-Minutes.com

The Apprentice

By madeyoulaugh | Monday, January 24, 2005 | 1:18 pm | 16 Comments

appleIIc.jpgIn less than a week, current Apprentice contestants have gone from complete obscurity to become overnight people who kinda look familiar. Striking while the iron is luke warm, several of the gameshow contestants have put up websites several of which indicate the ability to be employed which would imply they are not “The Apprentice.” Many of the cast, such as Kendra, have pages on their company’s website which is completely normal and practilcally unmockable. But some, such as Erin whos website boasts her as “The Model/Lawyer” are just plain shameless. Wicked hot… but shameless.

The ultimate in shame comes in the final two websites listed after the jump….incredible.


Kendra.jpg Though Kendra Todddoesn’t really have website to review, there are telephone numbers and an email address at RE/Max you can reach her at if you want to complement, mock, ridicule or flirt with her


Alex.jpgAlex Thomason’s website is like a supermodel nun…looks good but serves no purpose. A couple GQ-esque photos pamphlet what is essentially an ad for the company who designed the site (and even added a whole page dedicated to telling the story of how they got to design the site).


Erin.jpgWhat can I say about Erin’s site? She’s a model. And like a model, it looks good, it finds ways for you to spend money on it… but ultimately, all you’ll ever be able to do is look. I suppose Erin is a Tranny since it takes huge balls for a nobody like her to charge $15 for an autographed photo. HUGE balls.


John.jpg Sadly, we have to wait for Johns site to finish being designed. It would see asthough this highschool grad has been taking notes from the Tarantino school of web design.


Brian.jpgInitially, it seems Brian’s website is for body guards or mafioso. But a closer inspection reveals, absolutely nothing. Just another example of people who felt like registering their name as a URL. I guess Brian is going to try to make his “thing” that he got a free plastic viking hat in New York. I mean, it is prominanty posted on his site. Im not sure if this is real bragging rights. I mean, I knew a guy in college who got a free hum down low for a hooker in Thailand… a far more impressive feat.


Michael.jpg Michael Tarshi is hitting a new height on the Shame-O-Meter. His site, which looks like a Kenny G album cover, boasts the immenent availability of autographed hats, photos and….wait for it….Tarshi Chocholate Bars bearing the catch phrase “make love to your stomach.” As a collector of fine reality tv inspired memerobelia, I am tempted to purchase this bar, maybe even make it a TVGasm giveaway. But as a hater of financially supporting reality folk, I am conflicted.


And now, the creme de la creme.

Danny.jpgAn internet rave is the best way to describe Danny’s website. 2 or 3 minutes on the site further confirms my suspicions that Danny is that guy at the party who initially people are drawn to cause he looks so fun and qwerky, but 4 weeks later, he is still calling wanting to hang out get coffee or sew hemp things.


Tana.jpg Tana’s site is just plain obnoxious. Awkward non-sensical audio bits litter the already nauseating website. It looks like Ellen Degeneres’ site ate Martha Stewarts site and shit www.heytana.com. My favorite part of any of the websites is in a video when Tana tries to sell a tourist a gift basket, but comes close to starting an international incident or prostituting herself.


After hourse of internet surfing, following leads and contacting old highschool gym coaches to get some dirt on these folks, only one thing has been made clear… Erin will eventually be in a Maxim spread. And the Gasm will be there to cover it.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    mcf
    Posted January 24, 2005 at 4:48 pm

    Man, Danny’s doesn’t work. It’s probably taking me to a random site in an effort to protect me from smashing my monitor, though, so I won’t complain too loud.

  2. 2
    Madeyoulaugh
    Posted January 24, 2005 at 4:59 pm

    Try it now..if you dare

    MYL

  3. 3
    mountain girl
    Posted January 24, 2005 at 8:37 pm

    I too hate to support a reality player, but honestly, I’d buy a ticket to that giveaway.

  4. 4
    Retroqueen
    Posted January 24, 2005 at 10:27 pm

    Brian’s website is just sad……like him

  5. 5
    tvgfan
    Posted January 25, 2005 at 6:02 am

    is it me or does erin look like resident lipsyncer ashlee simpson?

  6. 6
    Genevieve
    Posted January 25, 2005 at 8:14 am

    A. Erin is soooo not hot! Ewwwwwwwww

    B. Did I mention that Kendra works at my office!?! :)

  7. 7
    bob
    Posted January 25, 2005 at 9:39 am

    That Tana video doesn’t work. Did she find this and take it off? these people all seem like types that would sit online and search for sites commenting about them.

  8. 8
    mcf
    Posted January 25, 2005 at 10:08 am

    Yeah, not so happy about the Danny link being fixed. His audition video has possibly scared me for life. It also has me wondering who the morons are who agreed to be in it with him. I shudder to think that his friends are…like him.

  9. 9
    brigita
    Posted January 25, 2005 at 12:21 pm

    Not Erin’s best look: http://erinelmore.com/images/Gallery/4b.jpg

  10. 10
    jash
    Posted January 25, 2005 at 2:52 pm

    OMG!

    the apple IIc pictured was my first computer ever!

    i miss the second grade.

  11. 11
    British
    Posted January 27, 2005 at 8:27 am

    does erin list places where you can buy that bathroom rug she wore as an outfit on the 1st episode?

  12. 12
    cutebutstupid
    Posted January 27, 2005 at 4:05 pm

    You guys jumped the gun and missed a prime target.

    http://www.toddeverett.com is slick, WAY too FLASH-y, but contains one absolute gem:

    Todd pats himself on the back for several sentences about modelling his way through, first, junior college, and then the University of Miami (?) and triumphantly concludes that he graduated:

    “Sigma Cum Laude with a Bachelors of Arts degree”

    Direct copy-and-paste. I am not kidding.

    I don’t know, Maybe he majored in Space Cadet.

  13. 13
    British
    Posted January 27, 2005 at 9:16 pm

    John bitched out Brian, and yet there’s pics of Brian, Erin and John hanging out at some game. Presumably, this was before the episode, or forgive and forget?

    Of course, Erin’s site is just all pictures of her. Heh.

    Tana, uh. She really likes to show her legs off, doesn’t she?

    The apprentice app is priceless.

  14. 14
    tsharie
    Posted January 27, 2005 at 11:33 pm

    Hey Tana can you go to Mars…..like now……seriously I’m not joking.

    this chick ranks right up there with Coral (BOTS II) on my least-favorite-reality-skank meter.

  15. 15
    ApprenticeFan
    Posted January 28, 2005 at 2:36 pm

    Kendra Todd website who does this research stuff?

    http://www.myhousere.com and http://www.agent53.com is her official sites, K-mon guys!

  16. 16
    Tom Brown
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 7:05 pm

    Hey Tanka, are you kiding me! T is a horrific biz woman.

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