Seaworthy, yes. But does it boast rich Corinthian leather?
Thanks to alert reader Jessica M., TVgasm has learned that producers of The Bachelor are currently looking to the yachting community for America’s most eligible man.
According to Inside Yachting, the show’s producers are searching for men who are “ambitious, charming and successful and who are looking to find love. The ideal candidate is an attractive, single, 28-35 year-old accomplished CEO, Architect, Lawyer, Entrepreneur or Businessman. The yachting community matches this demographic perfectly.” Of course, with qualifications like that it goes without saying they’ll also be capable of handling 25 beautiful girls at one time. Or 25 cabin boys, in case they want to move the show to Bravo.The article goes on to say that “filming of this popular romance series will take place in an exotic, tropical location, promising to make this the most romantic season ever!”
To which I reply: Shenanigans!!
Look, I’ve been on a yacht once. And believe me when I tell you there are few things less romantic than having a woman cradle your head as you spend two hours throwing up over the side of the boat. Especially if that woman is your new wife and you’re on your honeymoon. I was tossing enough chum overboard that the captain was hesitant to let any of us go snorkeling. In fact, I believe the only reason he relented was in the dim hope that I would be molested by a sea otter.
So, not only will this be the least romantic season ever, it’s also going to be the biggest sham-mockery in the history of the show. Because everyone knows that Mr. Roarke is the most eligible bachelor on any tropical island. Especially now that Gilligan is dead.
Regardless, if you’re a guy sporting a minimum of 27 feet, send photos, contact information and a mini-bio to: Danielle@kasstinginc.com.