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Monday, February 4, 2013
11:27 pm
27 Comments
Con: There are four damn hours of “The Bachelor” this week.
Pro: Living Social sent me an offer for a bottle of vodka and a bottle of single malt scotch just in time!
Here’s some free advertising for helping me through this week.
The formula is a little shaken up this week. We’ve got our one-on-one date, our group date, and then the dreaded two-on-one date. This two-on-one is the most predictable date in the history of the franchise. I’ll give you a hint – Sean goes out with Tierra (the queen of camera time this season) and Jackie (who?). I’ll let you guess how it turns out.
So, Gasmii, I want to leave this week’s recapping up to you! Would you rather I wrote one big recap or two smaller recaps? While you’re thinking about it, check out last week’s recap if you haven’t already!
27 Comments
I mean… I would prefer two recaps myself – double the pleasure, double the fun! But I wouldn’t hold it against you if there was only one – it’s a lot of work! ESPECIALLY after tonight’s episode – that was some crazy shit! You KNEW there was some big stuff going down when he was on the one-on-one with Lindsay and they spent all of like 3 minutes on it. Lindsay does not equal interesting television. I predict she will not last much longer. Also, did you notice that when Tierra crashed the group date, she was wearing the same blue plaid shirt that the losing team wore on the date she WASN’T ON?? What was that about? If everyone hates her so much, who’s letting her borrow their clothes that they JUST wore? Weird. AAAAGGGGH there’s so much to get off my chest and I can’t wait to read the recap, PP!
Need more info (or snarky speculation) on how Tee-Air-A got those dents on her forehead??
Also WTF did Selma have on her head? Did she hi-jack Mrs. Roper?
@Dashley: I think I’m going to break it up into two recaps. Putting it in one would probably lead to me half-assing it by the end, and I don’t want to do that. There is so much I want to say about this first episode! My job was done for me the moment they had to milk goats to prove their love for Sean.
@Considerthis: I’m still sticking with the speculation that Tierra’s dent is from her horn surgery removal. Also, the fact that Selma wore that thing on her head leads me to believe that she has no friends in the entire world. If she did, someone would have told her not to buy that.
These bitter sticks have nothing to talk about besides Tierra, they all need to MOVE ON and step up their own game. I really hope she makes it far just to shut up the rest of these morons and because I would pass out on my couch if I have to watch another snooze-date with Lindsay or Desiree.
Tee-Air-A reminds me of a little yapping dog.
C’mon Fliess your “villian” this season is as threatening as a chihuahua.
Anybody who ever had an annoying attention seeking little sister should recognize this behavior and just move on.
Love the horn removal @Pope – my theroy is that the drug addicted “best friend (drink) love of her life” had a pot leaf belt buckle and the dents came from all the blow jobs she dispensed.
@germgurl: I couldn’t agree more! If they don’t like that Tierra is getting all this attention from Sean, they need to step it up and do something to get his damn attention!
@Considerthis: Oh! I like your theory about the dent (Dentgate?)! Perhaps she got it from throwing herself down a flight of steps when some other man wasn’t paying attention to her every moment.
More later but check out this Bachelor spoof! http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/check-out-this-hilarious-parody-of-the-bachelor-produced-by-ben-stiller/
Ah, thanks for the link. For some stupid reason, Yahoo won’t let people outside the US watch this.
I think Tierra’s just poisoning the well for the others — if she’s half the idiot she is to the other girls that she is in her confessional, she’s probably ruining the fun for all the others. I liked how Sean kept asking Chris Hostdouchison for proof of Tierra’s bad behavior — and the douche just looked at him. As if they don’t have several hours of Tierra saying stupid shit by now.
But yeah, she makes for better television than most of the others. I mean, there are some really cute girls here — and quite a few who seem like decent people as well. Which means that, of course, they’re way too normal to make for interesting TV.
Besides, if he doesn’t end up with that Lindsay girl and her two-star general’s father… well, I’ll be surprised, that’s all. She’s the perfect dollwife. And you know Sean loves the idea of being a general’s son-in-law.
Oh, also: fresh goats milk tastes exactly like cows milk. It only starts getting the funky taste after a day or so. Makes great cheese though!
Oh, and yeah, I vote for one big recap — that way all the comments are consolidated into one section. Much more fun!
Another thing… apparently that cocktail party went on for hours with the gals slogging back and forth… even more fun! Wish they’d show the outtakes.
I am going to watch this now ondemand so I can dish with everyone else
Thanks goodness it is one right after it airs…to bad a grizzly bear wont eat Tiarra
@itchy: Your point about all our comments in one place wins the debate! One big recap it is!
@thisbuggs4u: Yay! Also, you can watch it on abc.com the next day in case On Demand doesn’t let you (sometimes that happens to me). Also, there is still another night for Tierra to be eaten by a bear.
I found it annoying how Sean was specifically asking the girls for examples of what the problem was with Tierra, and then turns around and bitches because the girls were spending their time with him talking about her…you asked for it, dude!!!
I’m awaiting moderation? I don’t get it…I see F bombs dropped all the time in the T&T comment boards.
@PopePhilly, yeah, hope she does…what a sneaky bitch!! Also last night was only an hour? Tonight is 2 hrs long….hubby has duty tomorrow so I will be watching crappy tv while he stands watch…I swear she is the one that freezes…? Just seems like something she would do. The description for tonight’s episode, looks like they change locations. Cause the lake water does not look as crystal blue as in the previews…Yeah, I agree…I looooooooooong recap, to keep us all in the same place.
@tisbuggs4u: Last night was two hours as well. This is going to be a giant Frankenrecap! I’m pretty sure Tierra is the one who freezes. The previews have been showing her with oxygen tubes in her nose. Also, it would just make sense that Tierra would do something to get sympathy…despite being the one who doesn’t want a sympathy rose.
@Itchy: “Hostdouchison” is my new favorite thing. I will share my new vodka with you.
I’m looking forward to the lunacy tonight . . . needy little sister is the perfect description!!! Or bratty!
@Helena: That’s weird. I say more than the “f-bomb” in all of my recaps. I wonder if it was just a glitch. I did get the mails saying you commented on my post. Huh.
@juddfan: There are many more “colorful” words I could use to describe Tierra.
@PopePhilly, Really it was 2 hours? Hmm On Demand said it was only 56 minutes and that was with commercials. I hate when they do that. I watch on demand so I don’t have to sit through commercials. Maybe I will dvr this tonight, watch it tomorrow, and FF…I don’t know… I don’t want to get sucked back into this show, but Tiara is just so cray-cray!
I sure hope this whole thing is completely scripted because if it’s not then Sean is one of the biggest assholes The Bachelor has ever had on there. That whole ‘aw shucks, I just want to find my WIFE and GET TO KNOW all the girls so I BEND the rules’ schtick is so fake. He’s just as manipulative as Tierra but from a position of power. He loves making them all run for him, there’s not an ounce of ‘gentleman’ in that guy. He’s just a ass with a good schtick. He loves keeping them all upset and pushing their limits to see who can work the hardest for him. That he keeps putting Sarah in positions where her arm is an extreme disadvantage also does not speak well for him. He’s just a patronizing jerk.
As for Tierra, if she is for real, then she has crazy stalker girlfriend written all over her and he should dump her as fast as he can manage it.
As soon as I saw the ‘freezing water’ situation I knew it would either be Tierra or the girl Tierra pushed into the lake. That water is probably freezing, that’s glacier snow runoff in there. I used to go to Glacier all the time in my youth. They have a lake up there called Iceberg Lake. Beautiful, but it has icebergs in it in August. The water up there never really warms up much. My big hope is that Tierra dumped herself into the water in a ploy to get more sympathy time and didn’t know the water could be that cold and almost kills herself. Yeah, I’d watch that. As for her dents, it could be Chicken Pox scars. That’s the place most people get those scars and they look like little round dents right in the middle of your forehead.
Haven’t watched the second episode this week yet. I need to recover from the dreck that was the first one. I may need more alcohol.
I would like to see one of these “ladies” tell Sean, “Hey, if you don’t believe us about Tierra, just wait until you watch the show, you’ll find out her true colors then.” I know that defeats the purpose as they want to make it further along when the show is being filmed, not be proven right after the show airs, but dayum, if these people are at all sincere, they are pretty stupid not to realize that their villain is being preserved for posterity. Oh let me guess, “It was all in the editing.”
I was surprised they actually let the girls speak about the cameras being there while on camera. In the first showdown with Tierra. The world’s stupidest name. Denthead?
As for the Sarah and her arm thing — I don’t think Sean chooses any of these “dates” (I don’t think he chose to keep Denthead, either.)
Even still, I’m trying to imagine a group date activity she’d really be good at. Hmm. Shit. Where’s NotWithoutMyTv when you need him?
I was just annoyed that the girls didn’t SAY something. He was practically begging them to give an EXAMPLE of Tierra being a bitch. I’m not sure how he didn’t run for the hills when she crashed the date though. That is just f*cked up.
Not saying Sean has been that great. I think he’s a generally nice (and boring) guy but his views of women are so chauvenistic (sp.) All of the dates are like ‘tests’ the women can either pass or fail. I’m not a Selma fan but when she responded to his claim about a ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity to do the polar swim she very wisely said “that’s not actually true.” Ugh, what a horrible mess. I really only watch bc of how much I love the recaps.
@thisbuggs4u, I had the same ‘On Demand’ issue. I didn’t realize, but if you scroll down, the next episode is there. When I was watching the first episode from last night, it seemed like I was missing something and then I realized I was – the second episode!
The producers struck reality TV gold with Tierra. She’s straight up crazy. She’s also one of those women who has no girlsfriends and then claims it’s because other girls are so catty.
Sean made it quite clear the last season where his “values” come from — pretty much knee deep in the mid-1950s. Except back then, they didn’t have that silly virginity pledge thing. So, he’s like from a warped version of the 1950s in another dimension.
Hey, all! Just letting you know that I’m 1/2 done with this week’s full recap (I just finished episode one). I hope you can all be patient for this one – it’s four hours of show and that takes forever to recap. Thanks in advance for understanding!
I think Selma asked to be kicked off — her face started melting. Or something? Maybe it was all that cold air, and the silicon in her face started to shrink?