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Tuesday, March 13, 2012
10:49 am
24 Comments
Tagged: after the final rose, ashleigh, Ben Flajnik, courtney robertson, JP, Lindzi, recap, spoilers, spoofs
Tonight on the “dramatic season finale” of The Bachelor, Ben will choose between Lindzi and Courtney, two women with whom he is “head over heels” in love. Now, I’ve never seriously dated two people at once, but I can’t imagine being in love with more than one person. I’m guessing Ben is contractually obligated to say that and he isn’t, either. Ben stares at the Matterhorn and somehow says it gives him hope, which is interesting since over roughly the last 100 years, 500 people have died trying to climb it and it is known as the deadliest Alp. Those are about the same odds I would give a successful marriage between Ben and Courtney, so he may have something there.
500 men have also died trying to climb Courtney.
Ben’s mom and sister arrive to see Ben and his ladies and give their opinions. I’m expecting them to like Lindzi and not Courtney, but maybe she will fool them, too. Ben’s sister Julie says she’s “good at reading women,” so Strike one for Courtney. Ben says his sister does not normally like the women he dates and she warns him that you have to watch out for the girl that doesn’t get along with the other girls. If only someone had said that to Ben at some point along the way.
Ben explains that Lindzi loves to rock.
Lindzi is first and is introduced as the girl who arrived on a horse. They have lunch and Lindzi is charmingly nervous and keeps dropping her fork. Barbara, Ben’s mom, asks her what the magic ingredient is in their relationship.
Lindzi and Barb toast to combining their families.
Lindzi says Ben is amazing and it all seems so easy. Julia grills Lindzi next and actually asks her about the Courtney drama. Lindzi is very diplomatic. Julia says it’s a “red flag” that Courtney didn’t get along with the other women. Lindzi says “yeah, we’re very different.” Julia says she’d be very happy if Ben chose Lindzi, and they hug. Ben is relieved that they got along and that both his mom and sister think she’d be a good fit with their family.
Lindzi is thrilled to get Julia’s blessing.
Before Ben lets his family go for the night, both Julia and Barbara are already put off by the fact that Courtney is a model.
Ben is nervous for Courtney to meet his family, but feels that the Courtney that the other women got to know is “not the real Courtney.” Courtney says she’ll “be on her best behavior,” which may or may not be the “real” Courtney. Courtney, right away says that some of the women didn’t like her “from the beginning” because she intimidated them. Julia asks Courtney about the situation and Courtney says she tried from day one to get along with the women, which we know is bullshit according to all other accounts. I don’t think Julia is buying it and I hope she tells Ben as much.
Is Julia buying what Courtney is selling?
She sits down with mom next and Courtney talks about how funny and smart Ben is. She gushes and while I know every mom likes to hear that, I’m hoping she can see through this. Courtney is “pretty confident.”
The happy family?
Julia and Ben chat and we find out that she definitely DID buy into Courtney’s nonsense. She actually uses the stupid baby voice and it bothers no one. I want to bang my head against the wall. After she leaves, the three sit and talk about the women. They think Lindzi is a lovely and accomplished person. Barbara also calls Courtney accomplished. Julia thinks Courtney is more what Ben wants and asks him to think about what his dad would say. Apparently, his dad has nothing to add because she babbles a bit and has nothing of value to say.
In a moment of confusion, Lindzi mounts Ben rather than the horse.
Ben arrives to pick Lindzi up in a horse-drawn carriage ride through town. Lindzi has never been skiing before and is excited to have her virgin ski with Ben. Their gondola stops for a private picnic and Lindzi thinks this is the best time to open up to Ben. Lindzi asks if he can see “an us” in his future and he says he can and has. Back in her hotel room, Ben tells her that she has made a great impression on him from the start and she tells him that “it will only get better.”
Lindzi and Ben smooch.
Again, vulnerability is brought up and they rehash everything. Ben wants to tell Lindzi he loves her but he can’t and “doesn’t think it’s fair” to do so anyway since he has a date with Courtney the next day. Lindzi says she has never been so sure of anything. Ben has no doubts about Lindzi, but “needs to stay open” about Courtney.
Courtney is not too worried about his connection with Lindzi. Another helicopter? For fucks sake. They fly over the Matterhorn and Ben hopes their relationship is “progressing to new heights.”
“Ooh… another helicopter.”
They grill in the snow and talk about their relationship. They sled and make snow angels. Her baby voice is oddly appropriate here. Ben says they’ve had their struggles but it’s great to be past all that. She says she feels vulnerable, too and Courtney presents Ben with a gift. I’m really hoping it’s a crazy Blakely style scrapbook.
How many women made crazy “I love Ben” scrapbooks this season? Let’s make that a regular feature, too!
It IS a scrapbook, but no issues of Cosmo or In Style gave their lives for this one. After the presentation of the scrapbook it’s suddenly awkward and we now learn they are not quite past the aforementioned “all that.”
Really? A mix CD? Am I back in high school?
Courtney brings up her defensiveness, again. Did she learn nothing from Emily’s beating of the dead horse?
Will everyone please leave that dead horse alone?
And how many times in that bell going to ring in the background?
Wow. It’s like 50 o’clock.
Ben is dealing with a lot of nerves and we see and hear about his relationships with the two women. He loves them both, describing Courtney as a little bit of a mystery and Lindzi as genuine. We get a little time with Lindzi, who cannot believe it’s finally the day she might get engaged. She’s half-excited and half-terrified. Courtney has never trusted a man before and says Ben brings out the best in her. Ben says these women are both extraordinary, but he “knows what he’s doing” and is ready to propose. Neil Lane arrives and Ben picks out the ring.
“Well, Ben… we meet again.”
The women get dressed and pick oddly similar outfits complete with capes and get into helicopters! Ben hikes up a mountain to reach the location of the final rose. The first to arrive is usually the one to whom Ben says goodbye, so we’re all on pins and needles waiting to see who that is. Lindzi gets out and the sad inevitability is upon us. 
I think we all know what’s coming here.
She loves Ben and talks about how this is a moment that girls dream of their whole lives. Oh, honey. Poor sweet Lindzi pours her heart out and Ben tells her how much she is what he has looked for his entire life and that he has fallen in love with her… BUT the moments he’s had with her aren’t what he’s found with “someone else.”
And this is the moment that Lindzi’s heart breaks.
Lindzi looks like she might punch him. He says he’s sorry and she just shrugs and nods when he asks if he can walk her out. She says she’s mad at herself for not giving him what he needed and wishes him good luck with a final “if things don’t work out.” Lindzi says if he does marry Courtney he’ll look like a total fool. She tears up a little, but holds it together remarkably well.
Ben, again, says he’s confused. I’m sorry, dude, but if you’re confused, maybe you SHOULDN’T PROPOSE! Courtney arrives and oddly enough, keeps the long leather gloves on. 
Courtney dressed for the opera?
How can he put a ring on your finger with those gloves? Think, Courtney. Ben tells her all about how his feelings for her have grown and he’s had amazing moments with her. Is he using the exact same speech he did with Lindzi. He tells her she is his “forever” and that he loves her. He proposes and she says yes. They proclaim that they will love each other forever, or at least until they watch the season play out.
Ben makes his decision. Winning!
Chris starts out by asking the audience to suspend their judgment of the couple and the situation, which is a little odd considering the show has done nothing but set Courtney up for the audience to hate her. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think she’s innocent here, but the producers of the show cannot even begin to pretend that they really expect anyone to “give Courtney a chance.”
These bitches are NOT going to give Courtney a chance.
Chris asks Ben how he felt about watching the show and he says that the woman that he saw on television is not the Courtney he knows. He says he did listen to the warnings from the women, but that they weren’t able to give specific examples. Ben tells Chris that they didn’t speak with Courtney for a period of time and that he did break off the engagement for a while during the airing of the show because of him seeing her behavior on the show. Chris tells us about Ben ending up in a magazine with another woman. He says the tabloid fodder were either friends or past photos and that he is “not kissing the women” in those photos, insinuating that they were doctored. He tells us that Courtney would go out and try on wedding dresses each time there was negative press, so she has probably tried on every dress that has been made.
Poor Courtney. She tried so hard to get to know the audience and they just didn’t like her for no reason whatsoever.
Now we bring Courtney out. Chris describes her as the “woman America loves to hate” and she actually gets booed. The press and the media have been “hurtful” but when pressed, she does admit to feeling responsible. Courtney talks about how happy they were before the show started airing but then all of the shit hit the fan around Valentine’s Day and Ben didn’t send a card or flowers or anything. Boo-hoo. She felt abandoned by Ben because she needed him and he wasn’t there. She’s lost trust in him. She was “reaching out” and “trying to make it work,” so it’s clearly all his fault that he had trouble dealing with discovering what a competitive and conniving bitch she was with the other women. If she’s looking for sympathy, she will not find it with this audience.
Ben may be a douchebag, but he’s not alone here.
Honestly, after watching the whole season, I do think Ben is a douchebag, but Chris seems to be gunning for him in these interviews. Chris actually says to him “when the going got tough, you split.” Ben agrees and Courtney says that she really wanted him to stand by her. But which her? I understand that you want your fiancé to stand by you, but when they are suddenly seeing a totally different side of you, how can you expect them to just deal with that? If you found out your spouse was a serial killer, are you just supposed to be okay with that? Not that I’m calling Courtney a serial killer or anything, but you know?
Ben apologizes for not standing by her and says he will never abandon her. He knows “as the man” he should have stood up for her, which is such shit. So she’s allowed her coping mechanism, but he’s not? Chris describes them as “the most controversial couple in America” and we watch the proposal again, because we didn’t just see it half an hour ago. Courtney and Ben are both emotional as they watch the proposal and Ben tears up as he talks about the moment and how everything that has happened since then has been so difficult. He still loves her, but that beautiful moment has been soiled.
Ben is sad that the special moment was ruined by “the media.”
Chris and Ben have a special moment.
Chris says that for the first time since starting this show, he didn’t know how this After the Final Rose was going to go. He presents the ring to Ben and Ben puts it on Courtney’s finger. They both think this will end with a wedding and maybe it will. At least something should come out of this disaster of a season. I’m not going to go into the JP and Ashleigh interviews, but I do have to call Ashleigh out for being all judgmental. 
Ashleigh berates Ben for not standing by his woman.
JP is much more understanding and says really nice things about Ben. They say it will be a faint memory once they get past all of the “being on television” stuff. By the end of the show, Ashleigh and JP have announced that they hope to get married in the next year and Chris agreeing to get ordained and officiate the ceremony.
Well, Gasmi, thanks for sticking with me through this less-than-stellar season. I’m probably taking a little time off from recapping, but I’ll be back before you know it!
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24 Comments
Why would Ben tell Lindzi he loves her ? RIGHT before he dumps her? What an ass.
Usually in the aftershow, the “winning” gal is all upset about his feelings for the runner-up, is jealous, insecure, etc. Not this go round ! It was all about boo-hoo, the media took our special time away. Did they? Or did the prod-ucers ? And C’ney due to her crappy comments all season long?
I love this show. Love to hate !
oh and I can’t forget to mention? Courtney’s voice? I’m sure you all noticed her inflections? Whether it was a question or not? Everything she says sure sounds like one?!?!?!
Oh yeah! When Ben vehemently denied kissing another woman since the finale (referring the Us picture of him with another gal), I really wish Chris Harrison asked him WHY HIS HAND WAS ON HER ASS.
1. Ben being pissed and blaming the women for not ‘explaining better’ why Courtney was evil.
2. Ben being pissed and blaming his friends, tabloids and the world in general for being out to get him and ruin his wonderful loving relationship with Courtney by pulling out ‘old photos’, ‘friend photos’ and ‘photoshopped pictures’.
1 and 2 clearly show Ben is not ‘bamboozled’ by Court – oh, no, he is the same type of person she is. Blames everybody else first, looks for excuses or plainly makes up lies to get out of trouble, and elevates playing the victim to an art form.
3. Ben telling Lindx (I prefer my stupid spelling to her stupid spelling) that ‘she’s ALL HE’S LOOKED FOR all his life and he is IN LOVE WITH HER’, only to 5 seconds later tell her that he’s dumping her because ‘HE’S IN LOVE with someone else’. What kind of an A-Hole douche does that?
4. I was breaking my head over why Ben’s sis was so easily taken in by Court, and unfortunately the only explanation I can come up with is that she, too, may be the same type of woman. The type who ‘intimidates’ other women, claims they are all jealous, thinks she’s the pinnacle of female will and empowerment and so does not care what other women think. That would also explain why, according to the douche, she ‘never liked or approved of ONE single woman I EVER dated’
That also explains why he has the mentality of an adolescent boy, why he can’t handle a serious conversation with a woman, why his default reaction to any ‘dead air’ is kissing, why his kisses are so horribly uncomfortable, and especially why he is making all his decisions guided by his man-bits. Because of the 2 strong women in his life, I doubt very much that he’s ever had a serious, committed, living-together relationship, and his emotional growth has stagnated at the 10th grade level.
Overall, I think Ben has shown himself to be a callous, empty-headed, juvenile, heartless and above all selfish, cad. He takes over the mantle of a man-wh0re from Bob Guinney; the mantle of a coward and a pus$y from Jason Mesnick; the mantle of the ultimate I-know-better dumbass from Jake Pavelka.
May you reign supreme for many, many seasons, you douche, along with you evil queen, and may she pester your existence. You guys sooooooo deserve each other.
That’s the trope: “You’re fantastic and you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I’m the luckiest man in the world for having met you. I love you more than anyone else in the entire universe… except for that other bimbo. So. Catch you on the flip? I guess?”
All the screen captures in these recaps make Ben’s protruding jaw look even more like that of a learning disabled Australopithecus than usual.
I bet Ben’s dad is in heaven doing an everlasting face palm.
I disagree Polk8dot, Jason Mesnick will forever wear the mantle of “Heavy Weight Champion Pussy of the World”. Any would-be Champion Pussy challenger would look at the footage of Mesnick sniveling on a balcony and say “Nope. Can’t no one beat that pussy.”
- Why was Lindx not at the ATFR? It is the tradition that the woman scorned gets to give the guy who rejected her his comeuppance.
- Why were Ben’s Mom and sister not there, either? Generally every final couple has their families join and cheer them on at the ATFR. IS there already bad blood on both fronts?
- After the whole season of Court’s being edited as a sister of the devil, why was Harrison trying to hard to suck up to her? It was distasteful to watch.
- Why no questions/comments from the audience? Worried about their possible tone much?
I felt bad for Lindzi. I remember when Ali told her #2 (who’s name I forget) way before the final ceremony and I had mad respect for that. Why drag it out and torture the poor rejected soul. I wonder if it was her choice not to do the show? I would love the hear from her.
Don’t understand why Lindz didn’t storm off in a hissy fit the way Ben did the need a sandwich chick last season. Why no one thought Ben and Julia didn’t look like they were the same person with 2 really bad wigs. Why Ben hair looks like evidence in the Exxon Valdez oil spill?
Totes agree with @Polk@dot
1. The other women did not need to explain better, as she did most of her stupid shit right in front of him. Like when he sent Shawntel home, and Courtney announced in front of everyone: See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya! Or when Ben announced that they’re going to Puerto Rico, and Courtney pouted that she was just there last month. Or that she pranced around in her white bikini while he was trying to have a conversation with someone else. He just ignored all of those things, and then was surprised by those same things. He even said last night that he winced when he watched her on TV prance away at a rose ceremony after getting a rose – huh? Were you not there in real life? You had to see it on TV? It was RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! You just gave yourself away, which is proof that you are an idiot on top if it all.
1b. When they did try to tell him more, he punished them
This whole season was just ridiculous. It was obvious very early on that Ben was going to pick Courtney, especially when they kept touting the finale as “the most controversial Bachelor finale EVER.”
I always find it ludicrous when the bachelor/bachelorette talks about being “in love” with two people during the finale, but for Ben to say everything he said to Lindzi before cutting her loose was just cruel. I also think it’s ludicrous that the “happy couple” can’t spend any time together between the end of taping until the AFTFR show. No wonder none of these relationships ever last, they’re formed under highly unrealistic circumstances and a lavish dating experience that in no way reflects what their real life dates would have been like, and then they can only phone/text/e-mail for six months in order to keep the suspense alive for the viewers.
I do hope Ben and Courtney work out in the long term, partly because I think they are both insufferable egomaniacs who deserve each other, but also because I wouldn’t put it past the show to make Courtney a Bachelorette if they break up.
Looking back on this season, I would first like to extend a hearty Thank You to Courtney for making this season watchable, despite having the biggest douchebag ever as the Bachelor. And if she promises to love and cherish his haircut til death doeth them part, who am I to interfere?
But really, when you look at it, nothing Courtney did was all that bad…She basically tvgasm’ed her way through the season. In fact, I’d say she’s perfectly matched to Center Part’s own rather snippety character. And they both have weird vocal nflections. It’s like watching two muppets.
Let he who is without snark cast the first stone!
I am glad that someone else remembers Ben storming off last season when he wasn’t picked. He looks like a caveman ugly, ugly, ugly and stupid..he and Courtney should make a happy pair for a few weeks while she gets some fame ..then leaves him for someone else..Please Google Courtney Robinson’s boyfriends ..she has had some really good looking ones and famous..Ben did have one Hollywood star type that went out with John Mayor-sp. for a while then she dated most of the single guys ..Yes he hooked up with her once…
My sentiments, exactly!
I actually don’t mind Courtney. I really could never stand Ben before, and now I find him intolerable. Not understanding why she is with him, beyond fame and recognition.
I’m not sure I believe that they ever broke up. To me it sounded as though they were looking to attract sympathy for Courtney. Especially since their stories never seemed to match up. In one breath, Courtney doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to regain trust again and doesn’t know if they’re together or not (fake sob) and in the next, she’s agreeing with Ben that they’re together and that she trusts and loves enough to get married. If they did indeed break up, Ben is even more intolerable than intolerable! How could someone so idiotic be so pompous?
I didn’t read the recap yet…it seemed so rushed that I couldn’t really follow it. A favorite moment last night though was when Ben’s sister twin was wearing her hat, and then not, and then wearing it again. All in one take.
First – TVGASM _ WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO DELETE MY ENTIRE COMMENT IF I TYPE THE WRONG CAPTCHA CODE?????
GRRRRRR
Anyway…Good to solve the mystery of where Ben got his monkey face…mom is a walking advertisement for evolution… Unfortunately, he also must have gotten his brains from her, since she was so easily snookered by creepy babywoman Courtney. The winner here is Lindsay (not going to do it) who managed to escape the monkey-fingers and bad genes of Ben and will live to tan another day. Thank god this season is over. Hey abc, crazy idea…next time pick a guy who has ANY ONE of these qualities: 1. great personality 2. intelligence 3. smokin’ hotness. In other words…whatever criteria you used to choose Ben, use the opposite next time!
definitely! Ben and Julia remind me of Adam Sandler’s Jack and Jill!
Loved that Linds held her head high and refused to cry on the helicopter ride home! She is way cooler than this show really revealed. Especially after getting the fake-out “I love you” before the dumping. Did he take an adult ed course at the rec center on reality tv? He also faked Courtney out with the whole “but I promised myself…” She actually looked worried!
I have also lost my hatred of Courtney as she was the only person I remember from the show. I think she is an insufferable person but to lambast her for not being interested in making friends with a bunch of neurotic strangers all thrown together to fight for the same dude is very odd. She’s odd, he’s odd, when their tabloid fame wanes she will move on and he will remain neolithic. What more do people expect from the show??
@polk8dot – you are right on the money! The sis is a conspicuous beyotch. I bet she and the mom had tons to do with the “breakup”. Sis must’ve been cursing herself bc she came out all judgey and america was actually on her side! Then she fell under the babytalk spell and looked like a fool! I thought it was pretty immature rookie mistake to basically give Lindz “the nod” before even meeting the 2nd girl. The whole family deserve Courtney.
@gnomecorp- amen. Its always the seasons where the guy blatantly refuses to admit his favorite is a bad seed bc of the deep, hard “connection” he makes with his pants over a certain contestant. Everyone hated Viana but Jake had to have her from the very beginning, then had to endure watching a show about him being mesmerized by central Florida trailer trash. Ben and her will go a little further if only because he is still dating up.
@HazyLazy
Thanks for recapping this yawnfest season. After enduring a million height/jump/helicopter/climb/plunge/fall comparisons to love/commitment/marriage/relationships your Matterhorn stats in relation to Courtney comment made my day!
Lol at Ben’s mom calling Courtney “accomplished.” Being a model is sooo hard, guys. What has she accomplished? Did she ever get herself an education with that modeling dough? Does she have any aspirations other than to hitch up to some rich guy and sponge off him in exchange for sex? Let’s face it… without some fame, at 28, her modeling career is almost over.
I agree with @polk8dot and others… Ben, his sister, and Courtney are all basically the same person, I’m sure they’ll all get along like peas in a pod. The sister clearly hates other women as much as Courtney does. I doubt Ben’s been able to ever get really close to any woman with mom and sis hovering around, and all his douchiness was allowed to fester over the years.
During the proposal, Courtney did everything but cackle with triumph – even though she didn’t say it, you know she was thinking, “Winning!” so I’m glad the screencap reflected that
Lindzi got off easy, not only for escaping Ben but for having the shortest ride of shame ever. I’m guessing the producers weren’t willing to fly her around on plane fuel for hours until she broke down crying, as they often do with exiting contestants in the limo.
On Chris H’s blog, he said that Lindzi was at the taping of ATFR, but once Ben and Courtney came out and stuff was unresolved, it seemed logical to put them on stage together, and after Chris proposed to Ben… I mean, Ben put the ring back on Courtney, it didn’t make sense to have Lindzi come out afterwards. Personally I think the producers were hoping for a Mesnick redux.
Courtney’s a cunt, and I think all of you that have already forgotten how much of a cunt she was should admit you’ve been suckered! She is a brilliant manipulator though. Ben rightfully broke up with her over weeks of her obnoxious behavior – seriously she could have stopped at any time! – but oh, she’s the victim because he abandoned her, even though she totally deserved it.
Like @Danielle, I’m not sure they really did break up. Courtney changed her story in the course of 20 seconds: when Chris asked the state of their relationship, she looked completely comfortable and confident and said “Yes, we’re together,” followed by a look of confusion and ‘oops, did I screw up?’ when Chris weirdly insisted that they weren’t. If you already knew the answer, why did you ask then, buddy? Ben also insisted they were engaged at various points, even though Courtney wasn’t wearing the ring… and wtf did Chris have it? So, so staged.
The “breakup” was an attempt to save face for both – Ben looks like less of an fool after taking action on the crap Courtney pulled, and Courtney gets sympathy with the abandonment story. It was also pre-emptive; the viewing public is expecting a breakup sometime so why not have it mysteriously occur when they have to be apart anyway?
I don’t know about Ben’s infidelities, and I hate to sound like I’m defending him, but the photos offer no proof. He easily could have been raising his arm when the pic was snapped for the ‘butt grab’ and you don’t actually see him with his lips on anyone else’s lips – and you know they’d have published that if it’d happened. He looks like he’s just leaning in for a peck on the cheek.
After all that Bourtney bullshit, it was actually refreshing to see Ashley and JP, even though her condemnation of Ben was rude (again, Courtney deserved it!). They seem so much more genuine than anything we’ve seen during Ben’s season. I miss that and I doubt we’ll get it from Emily.
@polk8dot–Well said! I’m high-fiving you in agreement.
I wanted to throw the remote through the TV screen every time Ben said the words, “INCREDIBLE WOMEN.” OMG! Seriously!? How many times do they sit there and tape his voice-overs? Could he not think of a different adjective???
If that were me meeting Ben’s sister Julia as my possible future sister-in-law, I would RUN for the hills and not look back. Unfortunately I know how judgy-wudgy in-laws act, the questions they ask, and the expressions they make, and Julia checked off every single one of them. She was scary.
B&C deserve each other. And C’s annoying upward inflection as she read her wuv wetter to Benny Wenny was so super ass irritating!
Ah, Melange, after a season of bland Emily, you’ll be begging for Courtney to come back. Yes.
Also, I just need to say that I really enjoyed Hazylazy’s screenshots. Love those giant foreheads!
I must be in the minority in thinking Ben acted like a jerk for dumping her! (if we are to assume it wasn’t a completely scripted breakup).
I figure they will break up someday but frankly if his reason is seeing her behavior through the season then I think he has no right. He chose her, he saw most of the behavior and was warned repeatedly so he needed to man up and stand by her. Although I think she is someone I wouldn’t like, the drubbing she received from the media was way overblown and probably really hard to go through. Even as much as I’ve disliked her I would be hard pressed to wish that kind of privacy invasion and publicly personal attack on anyone. For him to profess to love her still but allow her to go through the smear campaign alone just proves what an ass he is.
I just adore your simian similes for Ben. I see Planet of the Apes whenevs I look at his picture. *retch*