The Bachelor: Judge Not the Bachelor in Your Hometown

The Bachelor

By Honey Gangsta | Thursday, November 1, 2007 | 4:03 pm | 43 Comments

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“Chad says family is most important.”

Ah, it’s that glorious time again on The Bachelor when we get to take a tour of America via four lucky bachelorettes and their hometowns. Tonight we zig zag all over the map covering Kansas, California, Georgia and Washington D.C.! It seems like there are always girls from California and Washington D.C., doesn’t it? Oh ABC, can’t you expand your casting net a teency little bit? It would be nice to tour Delaware, or maybe Montana. Anyway…

We join Brad this week hanging out at the ABC rental house in Malibu thinking really hard about the upcoming hometown dates. He takes a shower and ponders over wanting to feel comfortable with the family of his future wife. Then it’s off to the airport where a big purple and orange Southwest jet is waiting for Brad to board with the C group and choose one of the few remaining center seats for his journey to Wichita, Kansas.

Perky Jenni is waiting for Brad outside of the Mary Jane Teall Theater because this is where she danced every single day of her entire life growing up and where she won her first dance competition. I guess this means I should start taking dates on a tour of my elementary school where I used to go every single day of my life and I did win a couple of prizes for writing poems. Jenni does her high pitched giggle about 400 times and tells Brad she’s going to show him what she does every day. She makes him go sit in a chair in the empty audience while she stands in front of what looks like a portion of a set for some sort of production. The giggling continues as she announces over and over how embarrassed she is. Please don’t feel pressured, Jenni. None of us would feel bad if we didn’t get to see you dance. And if you’re embarrassed, let’s move on to other activities. Nope, she’s gonna do it. She does what looks like a cross between a tap dance and one of those time-out booty shakers you watch at basketball games. Hey! Aren’t the Phoenix Suns a basketball team? It’s all coming together.

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“Oh, this is so humiliating!”

The little spaz/dance is peppered with exclamations of how embarrassed she clearly is not, and Brad sits there laughing like this is the most adorable thing ever. Jenni keeps saying that she does this every day. Yes, we get it – you’re a dancer. We’re very impressed.

This blatant show-off routine causes Brad to worry that Perky Jenni might actually be serious about staying in Phoenix to dance for the basketball team. After all, she does this every single day. It seems that Jenni hasn’t found out yet if she has made the dance team for the upcoming year, so it might not even be an issue, Brad hopes. Jenni insists that a long distance relationship wouldn’t weaken her feelings, and would, in fact, show her that Brad is willing to compromise for her. Excellent point, Jenni, even though I hate to admit it. She is so lucky this isn’t Mayo. After the very next Rose Ceremony she’d be on the next Southwest flight back to Kansas.

The next stop is a hair salon where Jenni’s mom works and Brad has come prepared with an enormous vase of flowers for her. Jenni is still wearing the booty shorts that I thought were just for her dance routine. Well, why not? I guess half-time spandex dance shorts are quite versatile. Jenni explains that her mom’s house is a bit small for today’s festivities, so when they walk into the salon there is a table set up with lunch waiting. Brad gets to meet Dad Richard, Mom Vicky, Sister Tiffany and Grandma Betty. Right off we can see that Grandma Betty is feisty. She immediately announces that she is the one Brad will have to fight with. Over lunch Brad tells about his brothers and their bar business which causes Grandma Betty to ask if Brad’s a drinker. Just wait until you see Jenni putting them away when the season airs, Grandma. Brad says he’s the most boring bar guy ever, which I have no trouble believing. Dad Richard asks if Brad has any nieces or nephews and Brad tells him not yet, but that he and his brothers are all excited to have families and lots of babies. Grandma Betty goes, “That little lady ain’t a walking baby factory.” Right on, Grandma Betty! Brad immediately panics. Back pedal, back pedal! He insists that isn’t what he meant, but Grandma continues by threatening that Brad will have to hit the road if he doesn’t treat Jenni right.

Mom Vicky decides to give Brad a shampoo while she questions him on not being able to meet girls – he does work in a bar, after all. We’ve all seen the high quality clientele hanging out at the Dizzy Rooster, so I’m not surprised when Brad says he doesn’t meet the right kind of girls at his bars. Well Brad, at least you’re providing them with alcohol and a dance floor. Wife material can’t be found everywhere, and that’s why going on a marriage game show is such a great idea! Brad switches topics quickly and starts talking about how wonderful and accomplished Jenni is. She dances every single day.

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“Is this hot enough for you?”

Elsewhere in the salon, Sister Tiffany is straightening Jenni’s hair and wanting to know about Brad’s kissing abilities and whether Jenni can see herself kissing him forever. Jenni says that this whole experiences makes her feel like she’s falling in love with him. Operative phrase to remember: “makes her feel like.” We’ll see what actually becomes of all this.

Dad Richard sits Brad down to find out about his future goals. Brad says he’d like to maintain his current prosperity and also get into real estate. That’s fascinating. He promises that Jenni would be well taken care of. Richard tells us that Brad fits in very well at the salon and he would be 100% supportive if Jenni wants to be with Brad. Back around the lunch table Richard makes a toast to… finding out that Jenni has made the Phoenix Suns dance team for the upcoming year! Brad silently curses fate but publicly holds up his glass for the toast. Jenni tells us that the news is bittersweet but she’s not going to think about a long distance relationship because she doesn’t want to. Good plan, Jenni. An attitude of denial could get you through the entire basketball season! Jenni sits down with Brad to reiterate to him how much she loves dancing. (She does it every single day.) She tells him though, that if he chooses her, she will be devoted to him a million percent. Brad says if she’s okay with the long distance, then so is he. Jenni says she wants Brad in her life and then she tells us that she can picture him watching her dance at a game. I wonder how often Jenni dances…? We’ve spent way too much time in Kansas.

Our next stop is Walnut Creek, California, where Sheena is anxiously awaiting Brad’s arrival at some sort of marina. She is so excited for Brad to meet her family because they are a package deal and she hopes he can keep up. Just then a boat floats past with both of Sheena’s parents waving to the precious couple.

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“All aboard, love birds!”

Mom Beverly is all decked out in yacht-wear, meaning a bathing suit with matching cover-up pieces, a grand bubble hairdo and lots and lots of jewelry. The first activity will be Sheena’s parents driving the boat and pulling Brad and Sheena behind on a ginormous inflatable inner tube. It’s water skiing for people who can’t water ski. After that, the foursome perches on the bow of the boat to have some discussion time. Mom Beverly tells Brad that she and her husband have been married for 24 years and they keep things fun by continuing to date each other. Sheena’s dad is like, “We do?” and her mom just brushes him off and keeps going. In fact, that’s the last we hear from Sheena’s dad. I didn’t even catch his name. Mom Beverly wants to know what Brad’s sign is. He’s a Scorpio – just like Sheena’s dad, which is obviously a huge cosmic signal. Sheena is an Aries, and has no idea what that means. Beverly doesn’t clarify, but tells us that she feels an amazing cosmic connection with Brad, and feels like he is already her son in law. Well, as long as she doesn’t jump the gun.

Later at the house Mom Beverly and Brad have a chat, or rather, Mom Beverly gives a monologue and Brad politely nods. I think Beverly may have overdone it on the boat with cocktails because she is going on and on about the big dipper and Scorpios and that she is absolutely positive that Sheena is The One. Maybe not Brad’s One, but someone’s One. Uh, Beverly? That goes for just about every human being alive. But she says this with such conviction that I almost buy it and make an appointment with a local astrologist. No more cocktails for you, Beverly. I can’t afford a personal reader. Brad tells us privately about his chat with Beverly and it’s clear that he finds her a bit insane. He’s envisioning future Thanksgivings complete with palm readings for the babies and Tarot cards for the toddlers. Beverly goes on, against all common sense, and tells Brad that both she and Sheena are so ready to commit to one man and be his everything. Both of them? Brad’s poor eyes get bigger and bigger, but bless his heart, he maintains composure and continues nodding.

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“Excuse me, Ma’am, are you insane?”

Just now Sheena walks in and wants to know what they’re talking about. Oh Sheena, don’t ask. Beverly starts naming off checklist items for Brad and Sheena’s wedding: a ring, flower girls, bridesmaids… Sheena is not nearly embarrassed enough and Beverly tells us that all these in-between steps are a waste of time because she knows that these two are meant to be. Ding dong. I’m now actually amazed at how comparatively normal Sheena is after growing up with this woman.

Sheena and Brad decide to take a hot tub and Sheena asks if her mom was annoying. Do you really need to ask, Sheena? You know your mother. Brad tries to find something nice to say and he settles on being able to see where Sheena gets who she is. Sheena mistakenly thinks that this is a compliment and tells Brad she’s so happy that he fits in so well with her family. She confessionals that she wishes he could just stay forever, but you can tell that Brad can’t get out of there fast enough. Let’s move on, shall we?

We jet cross country (Southwest style) to Canton, Georgia, home of DeAnna’s southern drawl and her big fat Greek family. She meets Brad with a basket of peaches – get it? Georgia. – and Brad tells us that he loves the fact that DeAnna doesn’t need him. Wait, I had to rewind that a couple of times. He loves the fact that DeAnna doesn’t need him. Take note, Hillary. This one doesn’t like clingy. He’s excited to see how DeAnna is around her family because that will help to determine if she is right for Brad for the rest of his life. Yes, yes, that’s what this episode is all about, Brad. We know. We meet Dad Greg, Brother Thomas, Sister Chrissy and Stepmother Rebecca. Brad tells the family that he’s excited to be there because he was born and raised in Atlanta, so he feels just like he’s coming home. He also tells Dad Greg that because his parents were divorced at an early age, he takes marriage super cereal – ha ha, serious.

Dad Greg takes Brad outside on the patio for a sit-down and Brad wants to know if Dad Greg believes that this could be real. Dad Greg is quite the optimist and says that he absolutely believes this could be real. He sees that sparkle in his daughter’s eye. Brad says his eyes sparkle around DeAnna as well. Oh gag. Dad Greg mentions that DeAnna has been through a lot, including losing her mother. Oh, that’s sad. I had no idea. DeAnna didn’t mention that 30 times per episode like Gloomy Danielle from last season with her deceased boyfriend. Just now DeAnna interrupts Guy Talk with a gargantuan photo album she describes as small. Lucky Brad gets to look through it. They relive DeAnna’s childhood and DeAnna tells us that this is her way of introducing Brad to her mother. Aw, that’s sweet.

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“Ha ha! You had braces!”

Next DeAnna and Sister Chrissy get comfy on someone’s bed to hash things out. DeAnna says she’ll be crushed if Brad doesn’t pick her because she feels like she’s found exactly what she’s been “waiting on.” Chrissy says that no matter what happens Mom will be watching over and they are all very proud of DeAnna. This is kind of turning into a big fat Greek bummer. When’s dinner?

As the family hangs around chit-chatting, suddenly an entire passel of extended family arrives on the scene. This includes grandparents, and aunt and uncle and a sister in law. DeAnna addresses her grandparents in the Greek terms, but I can’t be expected to remember all that. Suffice it to say they start taking shots of Greek liquor and dancing around in a circle holding hands and shouting “Opah!”

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I know I’ve seen this somewhere before.

Does this remind anyone of a certain movie? What a coincidence! Brad tells us he felt like he and DeAnna were husband and wife at a family reunion. Hmm, that’s a little weird, but it could be all the liquor talking. DeAnna walks Brad out to his car and tells us that she is completely falling for him even though she just met him. Big fat Greek mistake!

Our final hometown date takes place in Washington D.C. where Bettina’s family lives. Bettina greets Brad in workout clothes. Nice day at the gym, Bettina? Brad tells her she looks beautiful and I cough. They head over to Bettina’s dad’s house where we meet Dad Robert, Stepmom Anne, Sister Alexa, Mom, and Dog Scary. Bettina tells us that her dad’s opinion is terribly important because she and her dad think alike. Somehow I doubt that, but okay. Everyone sits down in the living room and the grilling begins. Brad’s lack of education is immediately discovered and then we learn that Dad Robert is a professor. Uh oh. I’m not so sure that someone who had devoted his entire life to higher education is going to get on board with the “college wasn’t for me” theory. Bar or no bar. In fact, Dad Robert tells the camera that Brad’s level of education is a “great disappointment.” The family asks about Brad’s business and when they find out he owns a bunch of bars you could hear a pin drop. Stepmom Anne announces that it’s time to eat, but then she says this to the camera: “Do I like the idea of my stepdaughter being hooked up with a guy who runs a bunch of bars? No.” Oh-ho! Bettina’s family is NOT impressed with the Bachelor. Not impressed at all. And you know, I kind of like it. I appreciate that education is a priority in their family and that they are looking at the situation from a practical angle. Golden Boy no more, Brad. How does that feel?

Over dinner Mom asks if running a bar means that Brad has to work late hours. When he admits that it does, there is another round of dead silence. The family all kind of looks at each other and passes the corn. Snap!

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Cricket, cricket.

Brad tells us that when Bettina’s family asked about his career he felt like he was being judged. Well, shake this man’s hand for figuring something out. Of course you’re being judged, Brad. Bettina is important to these people and she’s already been through the marriage wringer one time. Don’t you think they are going to carefully take stock of the guys she decides to bring around from here on out? They’d be irresponsible not to judge you. Next Dad Robert tells us that this isn’t the way he’d prefer to have Bettina choose a husband and that she’ll never find anyone better than her first husband. What? That’s awkward. The Dad is still in love with the ex-son in law? Brad doesn’t stand a chance.

Dad Robert sits Bettina down and says that he’s none too pleased and would prefer it if Brad had a PhD. Bettina says that some of the most successful people she knows don’t have college degrees, including her father’s own daughter. Wait, is that Bettina or her sister? Interesting. And I hate that theory. Yes, I know that Bill Gates dropped out of college, but that, ladies and gentlemen, is a fluke. Brad is not Bill Gates. The Dizzy Rooster is not Microsoft. Inside Stepmom Anne and Mom No Name have Brad cornered and they want to know just what he thinks he’s doing stringing all these girls along like this. Brad says he’s not stringing girls along and that he didn’t come into this feeling lucky that he got 25 girls to choose from. Yeah right on both of those counts. Stringing girls along is precisely the point of this show and how many times did we hear about how lucky Brad has been to have all these girls? Please. The Moms warn Brad that he can’t just mess with people’s hearts like this and I am really liking these moms! I love people who call a spade a spade. Nice guy or not, this process is ruthless and everyone knows it. At least these moms are saying it. Back outside Dad Robert is cautioning Bettina on three things: moving to a city to be with a man, Brad’s choice of business and his lack of education. I can not disagree with him on any of those. He is exactly right. As much as everyone wants to believe in fairy tale romances, this situation is fraught with difficulty. Bravo to Bettina’s family for keeping both feet on the ground about all this. Brad is still mad that Bettina’s family isn’t taking him seriously as a person. Come on, Brad. Look at the circumstances. You really can’t blame them.

Later on Brad and Bettina sit on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial to go over her family’s reaction. Bettina admits that her family’s questions have caused her to begin questioning Brad’s choices as well. Too bad she couldn’t have done it on her own, but here we are. Brad pretty much whines that he wants to feel welcome in someone’s family and at least he’s intelligent enough not to judge anyone. Um, Brad? You are contractually obligated to prudently judge each of 25 young ladies competing for your attention. No high horses for you! Bettina’s ever-so-comforting response is, “Well all I can say to that is I don’t look that great on paper, either.” Ouch! That stings. Brad reels backward in stunned silence. Not great on paper? He’s the Bachelor! ABC thought he was good enough on paper! Brad tells Bettina that maybe he’s overly confident, but he’s worked really hard and he doesn’t like people questioning him as a person – least of all some random family he is considering marrying into. His pride has really been hurt and as he continues his speech in defense of himself, Bettina just sits there looking confused. I’m pretty sure this is all going right over her pretty little head. Brad tells us he has no clue what he’s going to do. I have one suggestion and it involves not giving Bettina a rose.

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“So you’re saying you loved them…”

And now it’s time to return back home to the sanctuary of the ladies’ mansion. Chris Harrison makes his first appearance of the evening, reminding the ladies that they each took Brad home to meet their families. Thanks, Chris! I had already forgotten! There are four girls and only three roses. Whose dream of becoming Mrs. Brad Womack ends right here, right now? Brad comes out and says that he’s had an amazing week and each girl has made an impact on him. It’s breaking his heart to say goodbye to one of them, but here come the roses. DeAnna (no surprise), Perky Jenni (no surprise) and… Divorced Bettina and her judgmental family! I guess Brad isn’t one to shy away from a challenge. Either that or Sheena’s crazy Mom Beverly was too much for Brad to handle.

Brad takes Sheena outside to explain himself and he tells her that she is completely deserving of a perfect guy and a perfect life and he wishes he were that guy for her, but he doesn’t think he is. That’s actually a really nice thing to say, instead of telling her that she isn’t right for him. I have to continually admit that Brad has a sensitive heart and I do appreciate that about him. Poor Sheena bursts into tears and cries on Brad’s shoulder before telling him he’s amazing, and then she goes immediately into past tense about how she felt and thought. Gracefully done, Sheena. Especially after last week’s exit extravaganza.

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“But my mom already bought the bridesmaid dresses!”

In her ride of shame, Sheena continues in past tense, saying she loved everything about Brad and that she was falling in love with him. She says she’s never had her heart broken like this, but she would do it all over again because that’s how much she liked him. Don’t worry, Sheena. The stars will align again and remember, you’re the One.

Next week it’s time for the Fantasy Overnight Dates and all three finalists get to go to Cabo San Lucas. DeAnna bears her soul, Perky Jenni has trouble voicing her feelings so she does an interpretive dance, and Divorced Bettina goes into emergency damage control after her hometown debacle.

So what do you have to say about the hometown dates? Any faves?

Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta

Late one afternoon in 2005, Honey Gangsta received an invite to join a two person blog set up by her former roommate who had recently ditched LA (California knows how to party) for the bright lights of NYC (these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you). The purpose of the blog was to continue their nightly ritual of ripping on reality TV, which could no longer be done in person. Since Honey Gangsta was still watching 18 hours of TV a day and had nothing else to do, she agreed. 10,000 hits later, HG was inspired to submit a Bachelor recap to TVgasm - no one was reporting on Officer Mayo and his time traveling DeLorean - and the rest is history. It's been said that she writes what you're thinking. It's been said she is a genius - a Blogger Laureate of her time. It's also been said that the earth is flat and no one landed on the moon, so you just never know. With her keen observations, and colorful commentary, Honey Gangsta is beloved the world over.

43 Comments

  1. 1
    Toade
    Posted November 1, 2007 at 6:24 pm

    Another great recap…

    I was shocked at first when Bettina made the cut, but then I thought back to the conversation Brad had with Sheena in the hot tub… when she asked him if her mom was too much, he avoided eye contact when replying. True sign of a lie.

    Jenni is cracking me up with her “I’m so embarrassed, here let me dance some more.” I was amazed when Jenni stopped talking in her squeeky cheerleader voice and actually said something intelligent.

    Final two: Jenni and Deanna. Deanna takes all (until 2 weeks after the Final Rose, then it’s over anyway.)

  2. 2
    ThisShowRocks!
    Posted November 1, 2007 at 8:43 pm

    Well, HG, it sounds like you were on Bettina’s family’s side with this one, but I disagree.
    I like Brad, and I think he handled himself well when it came to her family.

    So he doesn’t have a college degree. That’s hardly the worst thing in the world. I also don’t have one, and while I’m not Bill Gates, I happen to think I’m doing fairly well.

    And as far as meeting someone this way – big deal! Who’s to say that this couldn’t work? There are actually a few couples from this show that are still together. It just so happens that most of the bachelors and bachelorettes have been flighty and in it for the wrong reasons. Maybe Brad is different. Maybe he’ll be the next Trista and Ryan, or Mary and Byron. Who knows? But like with other things in life, you never know unless you try.

    Her family totally sucked! I understand that they’re entitled to their opinions, but he was a guest in their home, and deserved to be treated accordingly.

    I think the only reason he kept her was because Sheena’s Mom was completely nut. You couple with the fact that they just didn’t have the chemistry that he has with a couple of the other girls, and it just wasn’t meant to be.

    Bettina is gone next though. As they say, you marry someone, you also marry their family…and who wants hers? UGH!

    That leaves DeAnna and Jenni. He seems to be completely smitten with Jenni, but the distance could be a problem for him.
    And DeAnna? Well, I would’ve been rooting for her, but her true bitchy colors really showed a few weeks ago. That did it for me.

    Whatever…Bettina is G-O-N-E!

    One last thing…as I write this, I’m watching a Suns game. Any chance they’ll show Jenni?

    As always, thanks for the recap! :)

  3. 3
    Pegster
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 4:42 am

    Brad is definitely not good enough for Bettina….the realtor.

  4. 4
    Honey Gangsta
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 7:31 am

    Ha ha ha! You guys are totally right. Brad is plenty good enough for dingy little Bettina. In fact, he could do much better. (And I think he will.)

    I think I just liked that her family didn’t seem intimidated by the situation and the cameras and they didn’t play along and pretend they thought Brad was the greatest thing ever. And yes, her dad should take a look at Bettina’s brain before jumping all over Brad’s. Good call.

    I’m still glad they kind of made a scene, though. It gave Chris Harrison something to announce in all the previews and mixed things up a little for the Hometown Dates episode.

    Thanks for your comments! Love hearing from you.

    -HG :)

  5. 5
    lexxi1129
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 8:46 am

    Great recap, Honey Gangsta!

    I don’t know – maybe this is a mean thing to say, but I think Brad chose Bettina in defiance because of what her family said about him. He was pretty pissed off, and he probably said “Ill pick Bettina & string her along because I CAN.” Yes, Sheena’s mom was kooky, but at least she liked Brad.

    Im still going with Jenni in the end – maybe if they start off with a long distance relationship, the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” will come into play.

  6. 6
    Andrea
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 9:45 am

    I would have to disagree with you on this one Honey Gangster. Being judges is a families job to be protective. But I think one should judge a person’s character, heart, personality instead of a stupid degree! What if a jack ass came along with a bachelor’s degree and daddy approves. Then what?!

    Brad is sweet and very well mannered. That is the only thing that should count, not your education.
    How 1960′s!

  7. 7
    Andrea
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 9:49 am

    I would have to disagree with you here HG. Even though you are right that a family should judge for protection, but judge on his character and personality instead of education. My goodness, it’s not the “proper” ages anymore.
    WHat happens if a guy has a bachelors degree and is a total jackass. Doesn’t matter the education, should matter how Brad IS as a person, and he is well mannered, and polite, and very NICE. I do not like people who judge on education.

  8. 8
    gnomecorp
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 11:37 am

    I agree with Honey Gangsta all the way. Not having an education IS a reflection of one’s personality and character.

    Having gone through college and making the effort to learn a little knowledge shows that you can follow through on a commitment and that you are bettering yourself. So he owns a bar or two. How does that make him special? So he’s nice, there are a ton of nice people who are nice AND have drive and motivation to be better in life and to not ONLY make a living and be ‘doing fairly well’ but also have options and choices.

    The bottom line is, if he falls in love with JenEye, he can’t go and be with her in Phoenix because he has to watch the cash transactions at his bar. And so SHE will have to give up her life to be with him. THAT my friends is 1960s!

  9. 9
    Memememe
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 11:45 am

    Bettina’s father is an architect as well as a professor of architecture. He apparently got his degree from Yale. In Wednesday’s Washington Post, he was interviewed and was much nicer about Brad. I can’t post the URL here, though.

    To see his official site, go to robert bell architects dot com.

  10. 10
    gnomecorp
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 11:45 am

    ThisShowRocks!:

    And as far as meeting someone this way – big deal! Who’s to say that this couldn’t work?

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, that is awesome.

    How about the fact that only ONE of the couples are still together (not married). And the point is to get married. The other one was the Bachelorette – which I would enjoy so much more. Women know how to pick a man, men (excluding Brad) seem to be picking clones of themselves. Mayo is case in point – making them do mini-tri-athalons as dates.

    ThisShowRocks! – thanks for that, I will be laughing all day.

  11. 11
    ThisShowRocks!
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 11:57 am

    gnomecorp:
    “I agree with Honey Gangsta all the way. Not having an education IS a reflection of one’s personality and character.”

    I disagree. As I stated before, I don’t have a college degree. Does this make me less of a person? You don’t know me, nor do you know what I have to offer.
    Since when did it become more important to have a degree, then to treat others with dignity and respect?
    If I brought a guy home to meet my family members (all of whom have degrees), I can guarantee you they’ll care more about how he’d treat me, then which degree he has next to his name.

    As for meeting someone on this show – Mary and Byron aren’t married, but they’re still engaged and together, right?
    And that O’Connell guy and his woman just recently broke up. Yes, they ended things, but in the grand scheme of things, their relationship lasted a good long time. Not every person you date in life is going to be “the one,” and I can pretty much guarantee that you’ve had relationships with people that lasted a much shorter time… and you didn’t even meet them on TV!

    Such is life.

    Not everything is perfect, and not every relationship lasts. Perhaps this one will be different.

  12. 12
    gnomecorp
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    If I brought home a guy who was as sweet as pie, but dumb as a rock my parents would die.

    Treating the girl nice and all that should be a GIVEN, not the deciding factor. There shouldn’t even be a question of whether the guy is sweet to me and respectful. I wouldn’t be bringing him home if he weren’t.

    When deciding on whether to build a life with someone, THAT’S when practical questions come into play
    like education, location, options, etc.

    So parents of course are going to question those things because they are not blinded by the romance
    unless it’s Sheena’s mom.

    You know there was a time when a man would take pride in taking care of his family and provide security. I’m just not that impressed with someone who can’t finish college, and give him and his future family options.

  13. 13
    ThisShowRocks!
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    Having a piece of paper with your name on it doesn’t necessarily make you a smarter person.
    How many athletes are running around with a degree, but they’re dumb beyond belief? It’s just an example. I’m not saying ALL athletes are dumb.

    Not having a degree hasn’t hurt me in the long run….I consider myself to be successful, and well spoken. AND, I’ve been in my career of choice for 13 years. I think that shows I can make a committment. I didn’t need school to tell me that.

    How can anyone make assumptions about someone because they have/don’t have a degree? It is like driving through a fancy, well-to-do neighborhood and assuming life beyond those walls are perfect. You don’t know that. For all you know, the husband is beating his wife or abusing his children…perhaps someone is about to take his/her life because they are so far in debt they see no other way out…but by all means, they have 3 fancy cars sitting in the driveway! They must be successful.

    It is foolish to make assumptions. As the saying goes, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” Oh, and there’s one more…”making assumptions makes an ___ out of you and me.”

    Her parents were acting like fools. They have every right to their opinions, and I’m sure Bettina welcomed what they had to say…but to be outright rude to someone because you perceive them to be “not good enough” is just wrong.

  14. 14
    gnomecorp
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    How can you say being less smart than you could have been isn’t hurting you?

  15. 15
    ThisShowRocks!
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:21 pm

    Who said I’m “less smart?”
    Have I written anything here that would lead you to believe I’m “dumber-than-a-box-of-rocks, uneducated in life, or uninformed?

    We can go around and around with this and still walk away with our original viewpoints.
    I don’t have a problem with those who decide to go to school, and I’m not saying anything disparaging about school and diplomas.

    I respect that you have your opinions where school is concerned. I have mine.

    And, like I said, I respect her parents having their opinions.

    I had a problem with the way they treated him.

    But this argument is old, and I’m sure others reading this blog aren’t interested in what we have to say.

    It’s been nice “chatting” with you though.

  16. 16
    ThisShowRocks!
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:37 pm

    I would like to add this though…

    How is my lack of a degree not hurting me?

    I love my life – everything about it.

    I have a great career (not job…career) that I love. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I make good money, I have a nice home (that I provided for myself), I have food on the table, clothes on my back, and a car to get me where I need to go.
    I have the best family and friends any person could ever ask for.
    I have a positive outlook on life. I could never ask for anything more.
    To me, these are the most important things in life.
    I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.

    If anyone ever looks at me as less of a person because I didn’t finish college, then so be it. That’s their problem.

  17. 17
    pixielated
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    Well, I think that Bettina’s moms were awesome in what they said. They were being protective of her and pointed out some truths about the show.

    Dad, on the other hand, is a boob. If he is so great, what is the deal with his hair? If I saw someone with hair like that coming to court my daughter…lol. That just shows the kind of mindset he has–to judge someone that quickly and on one aspect.

    Many, MANY people who have college degrees went there on mommy and daddy’s dime and used the time to party and screw around before they got jobs. I got a college degree when I was 40, and I can guarantee that I am no smarter than I was before. Nor am I more qualified for employment (options).

    Education is great but it’s no indication of intelligence or future success. I work at a place where many people have graduate degrees and let me tell you, a lot of them are losers.

    We should be judged on the content of our character (didn’t Martin Luther King say that?) and our accomplishments. Brad has been self-supporting all of his adult life, owns a business, and has great family ties. He also seems to be a kind, sincere person.

    (Oh, and if we are judging people by “education,” I could easily pick apart any of “gnome’s” postings for grammatical errors. But I could understand what she (and everyone else in this thread) was saying, so who cares?

  18. 18
    pixielated
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    Well, I think that Bettina’s moms were awesome in what they said. They were being protective of her and pointed out some truths about the show.

    Dad, on the other hand, is a boob. If he is so great, what is the deal with his hair? If I saw someone with hair like that coming to court my daughter…lol. That just shows the kind of mindset he has–to judge someone that quickly and on one aspect.

    Many, MANY people who have college degrees went there on mommy and daddy’s dime and used the time to party and screw around before they got jobs. I got a college degree when I was 40, and I can guarantee that I am no smarter than I was before. Nor am I more qualified for employment (options).

    Education is great but it’s no indication of intelligence or future success. I work at a place where many people have graduate degrees and let me tell you, a lot of them are losers.

    We should be judged on the content of our character (didn’t Martin Luther King say that?) and our accomplishments. Brad has been self-supporting all of his adult life, owns a business, and has great family ties. He also seems to be a kind, sincere person.

    [Oh, and if we are judging people by "education," I could easily pick apart any of "gnome's" postings for grammatical errors. But I could understand what she (and everyone else in this thread) was saying, so who cares?]

    Anyway, Brad is gracious and shows a lot more breeding and class that Professor Obnoxious.

  19. 19
    pixielated
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Sorry about my multiple posts. This is my first time posting on this site. That just goes to show you a college degree is no indication of intelligence or competence!

  20. 20
    Memememe
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    ugh….defensive much?

  21. 21
    ThisShowRocks!
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 2:06 pm

    Thanks, Pixielated…It’s always great to get another point of view.

    Somehow, I missed most of what Bettina’s Moms had to say. Maybe I was more focused on her Dad.

    I’ve said this before, but I really do like Brad. For once, I haven’t been turned off by the bachelor. He seems like a good guy.

  22. 22
    hollagirl2
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    my oh my. it is sad when people determine someone’s worth by what’s written on a piece of paper. i have a hard time believing every person who chose not to go to college or couldn’t afford it is ‘dumb as rocks’ so coined by the education spouting gnome. education is valued, to be sure, but so is common sense and good values. I wonder if you learned those or are so very insecure as to judge others that aren’t college educated because you know what you lack.

  23. 23
    gnomecorp
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    You guys are so funny – explicitly judging people who judge and thinking you are not exactly the same.

  24. 24
    arizona mom
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 5:05 pm

    Wow, I can’t believe no one is talking about what a complete whack job Sheen’s mother is. Bettina’s family looked down right normal.

  25. 25
    Pegster
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    People, people, people. Can’t we get past the education thing and focus on what really matters: Th

    at Brad is better looking than Bettina’s family, and therefore HE is obviously the better person!!

  26. 26
    ajkc41
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 7:21 pm

    great recap yet again, HG. as i was watching this episode, the part with Sheena’s mom in particular, all i could think about was how you’d cover it for us! that woman is truly insane.

    i agree that a degree doesn’t necessarily make someone better or smarter etc etc than someone without. perhaps it makes one more traditionally educated, but that’s all. there are many different ways to enrich one’s life and to learn – post secondary schooling is just one.

    i have a “why not” attitude towards people meeting on this show as well. i think most of them are incredibly naive (to be kind we could say optimistic, i guess). several years ago most people scoffed at meeting your significant other online, and that’s become mainstream now. my husband and i met online and married quickly, and are happily married 5 years later with two kids. you never know!

    anyways, thanks again, HG. always a pleasure to read what you have to say!!

  27. 27
    Farrell100
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    Sheena’s Mom was a complete coconut!!! Too funny. And, HG, I thought the same thing about Sheena’s lack of concern with what a nutbag her mother was. Clearly, this is “normal” behavior for her mother (or should I say “paranormal”).

    I think Jenny’s family seemed pretty trailor-trashy. I’ve never been fond of Jenny anyway. She has the most ANNOYING constant giggle/guffaw habit. She’s unattractive and not a very fashionable dresser either.

    DeAnna, overall and comparativley speaking, seems the most normal of the bunch (though I use the term “normal” loosely. Being on the show AT ALL indicates you’ve got to have several screws loose). DeAnna seemed to have the most normal and nicest family too.

    Finally, as to the whole education debate. After high school, I went to college, and dropped out after completing just 1.5 years. At age 35, I went back. Got 2 BAs (w/ honors) and went on to get my MBA. Am I a “better” person? No. Am I “smarter” than I was prior to getting all the degrees? No. (but I do know how to apply my smarts more effectively and my critical thinking is far improved. also, I am much better at Jeopardy!) Am I happier? No. Frankly, ThisShowRocks sounds much happier than me. Having a college education is a tremendous thing. But judging someone on that singular criteria is foolish.

  28. 28
    ThisShowRocks!
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 8:19 pm

    I agree with you, Farrell…DeAnna’s family seemed the most “normal.”

    And, as silly as it may seem, I liked the stroll down memory lane when she took out the photo album. I think it let him see a little more into her life, especially since her Mom has passed.
    Certainly, it was a nicer touch than doing a little dance!

  29. 29
    pixielated
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 9:13 pm

    Well, gnome, judging people on their behavior is a little different–actually, a lot different–than judging them on whether they have a college degree. A highly educated person like yourself should know that.

    Yeah, Sheena’s mom was a kook, but harmless. It would be like having Shirley MacLaine for a mom-in-law.

  30. 30
    gnomecorp
    Posted November 3, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    Choosing to not get a formal education is a behavior.

    I am enjoying your personal stabs at me though; it showcases your inability to debate logically.

    Bottom line for me is “ a father has a lot more right to judge his potential son-in-law than you have to judge someone you got a 5 minute edited version of on television. Yet you feel entitled; try to imagine how he felt.

    Peace, love and understanding

  31. 31
    gnomecorp
    Posted November 3, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    Choosing to not get a formal education is a behavior.

    I am enjoying your personal stabs at me though; it showcases your inability to debate logically.

    Bottom line for me is “ a father has a lot more right to judge his potential son-in-law than you have to judge someone you got a 5 minute edited version of on television. Yet you feel entitled; try to imagine how he felt.

    Peace, love and understanding

  32. 32
    pixielated
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 12:08 am

    And I chose to get a college education. I guess that just shows that having a college education doesn’t make you a good person, or a good debater, at any rate.

    I think what it boils down to for me is, why is this father making judgments and decisions for his adult daughter? If he had his way, she’d still be with her first husband, who was well-educated and a paragon, as far as the father is concerned. Of course, it must have been Bettina’s fault that the marriage ended (I’m sure she gets that all the time, along with, “Why didn’t you get a college degree, Bettina?”). You can tell by Bettina’s pathetic remark: “I don’t look good on paper, either.”

    Hey, gnome, peace. I just thought that you were insulting some of the other posters on this thread by saying they’d be smarter (and maybe even better people, definitely better spouses) if they’d gone to college. Isn’t that judging?

    Hey, as long as I’m being judgmental: Dad’s hair looks stupid AND Brad could probably buy and sell him.

  33. 33
    shollia
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 12:41 am

    Well… I thought Bettina’s family were a bunch of A-holes.
    I can understand being cautious.
    But they were just downright rude and were totally looking down their noses at him.
    They brought up great concerns, but damn.. at least try to FAKE being nice to someone.

    As for Bettina though.. I can’t stand her. She’s so.. I dunno.. fake or something.
    Hell… all of the girls cept for the one that went home seem totally fake to me.

    Jenni- Just looking for her 15mins…
    Deanna- Bitch bitch bitchy bitch bitch in disguise.
    Bettina- Bitch in a not so great disguise.

  34. 34
    blahblah
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    Ok, I haven’t finished reading the recap (I’m on Bettina’s hometown) or anyone’s comments, but I had to write this before I forget:

    1. Bettina’s damaged hair obviously runs in the family, as evidenced by Mom No Name’s (ha!) brittle brush hair.

    2. Sheena has the type of mother that shouldn’t be introduced to the new boyfriend until after the preacher pronounces the lovely couple “man and wife.”

    Brad’s expression while Sheena’s mom was talking was PRICELESS (thanks, Honey Gangsta for that fab screenshot).

    I’m actually into astrology (and was interested/shocked to learn Brad is a Scorpio. I totally didn’t call that one) and even I was weirded out by Sheena’s Mom’s drunken “the stars are all aligned” speech. I was literally cringing for Brad and Sheena. Btw, Sheena is so lying about not knowing anything about astrology. With that astrology-obsessed mom? Yea right. So how does Little Miss Ignorant know she’s an Aries? Sell it to someone else, sister.

    3. I still think Brad is extremely sexually attracted to Jenni, but will pick Deanna if he’s *truly* looking for wifey material as he’s claimed about 1,468 times so far this season. Jenni is obviously into herself and her “dancing” career A LOT. She also strikes me as being in love with the fantasy/dream of being picked as the Bachelor’s #1 more than she’s in love with Brad, the man.

    4. I actually liked Deanna this episode. Amazing. Brad looked to me to be most comfortable with DeAnna’s family (dreams of playing out a real-life “Big Fat Greek Wedding” was playing in Brad’s head, I’m sure).

    Ok, that’s all for now. :)

    And great recap so far, HG!

  35. 35
    blahblah
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 2:39 pm

    I’m done reading and now…

    Wow @ your strong defense of Bettina’s family, Honey G. I think it was good of them to be concerned with Brad’s lack of education (but only if Bettina has a degree) and lifestyle (working very late nights doesn’t exactly spell “ready for a family” as Brad claims), but they’re acting as if he’s a bad person because of those things when Brad seems like a genuinely nice, honorable guy. “Looking good on paper” is code for “We want to be able to brag about you to our friends & family”. Funny that Daddy Bettina still loves her ex, but obviously the ex wasn’t good enough to make his marriage work out. Bettina and Daddy Bettina must not think that much alike because they sure didn’t agree on whether her ex is a keeper. lol Bettina’s snobby dad gives college professors a bad name.

    Bettina’s family was very rude, with all of the awkward silences (on purpose, I might add) and the moms interrupting their conversation with Brad to take the dog out. Hello? They basically said the dog is more important than the Brad. So sad.

    And Bettina sure is good on a man’s ego with her “I don’t look good on paper, either.” comment. That’s right, honey, restore Brad’s ego by telling him you’re settling because you don’t think you can do any better (as voiced by your very personable daddy). I can’t wait until next week when she’s booted the hell out of the rental mansion.

    Boo to the Bettina rose, but at least Brad is attracted to Bettina. There are no sparks whatsoever between him and Sheena. Sheena has Chad to thank for staying in the game this long.

  36. 36
    blahblah
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    Ok, gnomecorp, you had me until you wrote:

    “If I brought home a guy who was as sweet as pie, but dumb as a rock my parents would die.”

    I have two degrees (B.S. in Business, Marketing and a Master’s in Psychology) and I must say that a degree is not a measure of one’s intelligence. I have sat next to many “degree’d dummmies” – people who can recite theory to you all day, but can’t apply any of it in real life – in class.

    I love Brad’s line, “I’m smart enough to know not to judge people.” Ha! Did you see Bettina’s head rear back on that one? This show is a behavioral psychology thesis waiting to happen.

  37. 37
    blahblah
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    This Show Rocks:

    You should’ve stopped while you were ahead in your argument with Gnomecorp.

    You wrote: “How is my lack of a degree not hurting me?”

    Well, for starters, higher education would’ve possibly shown you that your above question is asking how your lack of degree ISN’T hurting you when I think you mean to ask the opposite, “How is my lack of a degree hurting me?” You’re making gnomecorp’s point for him/her.

  38. 38
    blahblah
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 2:55 pm

    LOL! @ Pegster:
    “People, people, people. Can’t we get past the education thing and focus on what really matters: That Brad is better looking than Bettina’s family, and therefore HE is obviously the better person!!”

    Amen! I say more looks-based prejudice and less education-based prejudice. Let’s keep our priorities straight here. This is The Bachelor, after all.

  39. 39
    blahblah
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 3:02 pm

    You know what? After reading all of the comments here and going over the episode again in my mind, I realize now why Bettina acts so stand-offish and cautious. She has a very judgmental family and probably second-guesses every decision she makes now. As much as Daddy Bettina loves the ex, you just KNOW she has to hear how much of a mistake she made all of the time. Daddy B even said “She will never find someone as good as him again”. Wow. Imagine that coming from her father, of all people – who supposedly thinks like Bettina. Aren’t fathers supposed to think no one is good enough for their little girls, and not the other way around? *cough* @$$hole! *cough

  40. 40
    blahblah
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 3:09 pm

    Two more things (because that’s how my mind works):

    1. I disagree with Honey Gangsta and Farrell100 that Sheena’s reaction to her mom’s speech wasn’t embarrassed enough. She looked pretty embarrassed/mortified to me. What is she supposed to do? Call even more attention to her loony mom by being outraged?

    2. Did anyone notice that Jenni said her parents’ house is “too small” for them to use as the meeting place with Brad? Heeeee! I was laughing hysterically at the image of Jenni’s family living in a double-wide trailer home. No wonder they weren’t as judgmental of Brad as Bettina’s family. Jenni’s need to show-off and achieve her goal of a “dancing” “career” is starting to make more sense with every passing episode.

  41. 41
    blahblah
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    Ok, I lied. One more observation…

    Am I the only one who noticed Brad’s underarm sweat stains when he was meeting Jenni and DeAnna’s families? They were pretty obvious (even in the white shirt). I *really* believed him when he said he was nervous. :) I wonder if those stains were digitally enhanced?

  42. 42
    pixielated
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 4:42 pm

    pixielated:

    (Are you supposed to put your user name at the beginning of your post, with a colon after it? It kind of looks like the comment is addressed to me, instead of written by me. OK, when in Rome.)

    I learned a LOOONG time ago not to be embarrassed by my family. Sheena’s an adult, and fully separate from her mother, presumably, so why should this reflect on her? Almost everyone has a relative who gets drunk and acts weird or stupid. Hey, some of them don’t even get drunk! (Look at Bettina’s family.) Sure, it’s natural to be a little embarrassed, but she loves her mom and is probably used to her at this point. I’d rather marry into that family than Bettina’s passive-aggressive, psychologically bullying clan. (Sheena’s dad was cool.)

    I think it was Sheena’s lack of “chemistry” with Brad that did her in, not her mom. And if you took away the glamorous makeup and hairstyle, she was a little plain. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

    It was Bettina that wasn’t embarrassed enough (or outraged enough), but she’s probably been her father’s whipping boy for most of her life.

  43. 43
    pixielated
    Posted November 4, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    pixielated:

    Hey, maybe the two moms know that the dog has a small bladder! If you don’t let him out NOW, you’re asking for it. lol

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