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[Bachelor recaps are written by jadedbitch. You can read his blog at http://www.jadedbitch.com/.]
Our boy Charlie has had some time to “get to know” his potential sweethearts, but now we have to get to some real business, and you know what that menans… It’s time for the hometown visit episode! (re: the episode where the crazy families are exposed!) We start off in McKinney, Texas to meet Sarah B’s folks. She shows up to meet Charlie in what looks like a pair of my grandmother’s pajamas, or “colourful scrubs” as Charlie called them. Seriously though, Caroline Rhea called and wants her face back.Charlie spent a couple of minutes talking to the family dog. But then Sarah B had to go change out of her hideous outfit, so he ended up talking to Lucy, the family pet. Zinger!
The family eventually showed up to grill the Bachelor, who talked REALLY LOUDLY to all of them. Inside voice, Charlie, inside voice…
Rachael, Sarah B’s sister, gave the camera a good cleavage shot before going off with Sarah to see what she liked about Charlie. Looking at the two of them, it was pretty obvious who got the better end of the gene pool! Sarah admitted that they have not kissed yet, and judging by what we’ve seen so far, it doesn’t look hopeful. Will they be able to get out of the “friendship” rut that they’ve fallen into?
Rachel pulled Charlie aside to see if he was just doing this to boost his career. He claimed that acting was not his greatest
It was then off to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada to visit Kimberley. They met at Edmonton’s only attraction, the West Edmonton Mall and went on a few rides. They then went over to allegedly the Best Perogie Restaurant in Canada, The Pyrogy House. Kim’s mom, Marge, took Charlie into the kitchen to make some perogies together, including a sardine flavoured one. *shudder*
Marge really took a liking to Charlie, and I mean REALLY took a liking as she proclaimed her love for him to the camera in some sort of euphoric stupor. “Neat, EH?” she said to Charlie while rolling the dough. Oy, not the “Eh”!! Not the “Eh”!! In the back of the kitchen, Kim wanted to get it on with Charlie but he declined her advances.
Later that night, however, they went out to a bar for some drinks. Now, being in such a small town as Edmonton, who should turn up but ousted singleton Jenny! Not only was she not wearing that awful pink dress from her final rose ceremony, but she had in tow one of Kim’s ex-boyfriends! Small town, indeed!
The ex-boyfriend dragged Kim away for a chat, where he asked if Charlie’s been able to handle Kim Wild. Kim turned all frosty and said, “Please don’t mention any of that.” Apparently, according to Jason, her ex, Kim is known throughout all of Edmonton as Kim Wild. Next time you meet someone from Canada, be sure to ask them, “Hey, do you know Kim Wild up in Edmonton?” Us Canadians just love that.
Meanwhile, at the bar, Jenny continued to harp on the fact that she didn’t know what Charlie was looking for. Here’s an answer for you, Jen: He’s not looking FOR YOU. It was good however, to see Jen come back on the show a la Trish from the Jesse Palmer season. Love it when rejected people crawl back begging for another chance.
Jason asked Kim if she and Charlie had the “meatball connection.” WTF? Apparently, she will always be Jason’s “meatball” and the two of them will always be each other’s “meatball.” Okay, Edmonton, way to represent.
Next stop: Corning, NY for Sarah W. He immediately started grilling her about the animosity between her and Krisily. She claimed that she wasn’t used to people hating her and that people always liked her. Wait a minute, I thought just last week she said she was used to being hated for being so beautiful? Make up your mind, Big Sarah! Charlie then asked her about saying to Sarah B that she knew who the final four were. Sarah W got all flustered and didn’t deny or confirm the rumour.
We then had a blatant plug for Verizon wireless phones as Sarah W sent her family a video message to say she was bringing Charlie over. The two trudged through the snow to the family home to meet Sarah’s father, mother, and sister.
Sarah sat around with her family and proclaimed herself a diva, while Charlie went out to help the dad shovel the sidewalk. After dinner, the two went for an evening out on the town. Sarah worked her charms on him as they sucked face in the middle of the street as though they were running out of air and the only supply was from each other.
Charlie then drove over to the Rhode Island trailer park to meet Krisily for her hometown visit. They stopped off at Krisily’s hair salon where her cousin also worked and who gave Charlie a haircut and an interrogation at the same time. At the house, he met Krisily’s mom, nana, stepdad, and aunt.
And man, Nana was a firecracker! “What do ya get out of it!?”she demanded of him. She then went on a tirade about the show and how “ahwl they do is kiss kiss kiss on The Bachelah.” Later when Krisily and Charlie were sitting on the front porch making out, Mom and Nana spied on them through the window.
But it was back inside the house where the real action would take place. “Come on CHARLEE, you wanna dance?” Nana perked up, as the two cut some rug and bumped booties. Charlie later presented Nana with her very own rose, and quite frankly, Nana has been the most interesting candidate so far. “I’m gonna go home and put it in some watah, and every time I look at it, I’m gonna think of Charlee,” she proclaimed. She later advised Krisily, “What you gotta do now is get him in bed.” You go, Nana!
Finally it was Rose Ceremony time, where Charlie addressed his sweaty pits. Hey, at least he’s aware of it. Teary-eyed, Charlie had to pick between Sarah W, Sarah B, Krisily, and Kim. First to get the rose was Sarah B. Second up was Krisily. The final rose went to Sarah W, shutting out our very own Miss Edmonton. Maybe it was Kimberley’s Vegas showgirl dress or too many perogies? Or, perhaps it was the fact that he didn’t want to live in Deadmonton, Canada. Oh well, at least she’s got her Meatball.
There’s only three girls left. Who do you think is going to get the final rose?? But more importantly, does anyone even care? And I want more Nana!