The Cat’s Out of the Bag!

Recaps

By B-Side | Friday, April 1, 2005 | 11:23 am | 23 Comments
Posted in: Recaps

catbag

Our friend Andy Dehnart at Reality Blurred finally outed our true identities today. We tried for so many months to keep things under wraps, but it was inevitable that our pasts would catch up with us. I guess a life on anonymity was too much to ask for.

So since the cat is out of the bag, we might as well tell all. Pics, bios after the jump.As Andy Dehnart mentioned, we, the staff of TVgasm, are actually former cast members of Saved By The Bell: The College Years. The following is a complete breakdown of who we are, what we like, and where we’re going in life. Sort of.

zack B-Side: Well, as you may have realized, my name is Mark Paul Gosselaar. People often misspell my last name, and as a youth, I was tormented by these chronic typos. My mother told me that we were a proud people though, and bearing the double-a was a great honor to be passed down in the generations. Back in the day, I was rumored to have died in a helicopter accident, but luckily, my recent tenure on NYPD Blue has proved all you haters wrong. Saved By The Bell was an important period of my life, but really, it was the Marlowe to Saved By The Bell: The College Years‘s Shakespeare. I enjoy sushi, sunsets, and gentle hugs from Dennis Franz.
slater J-Unit: Serving as TVgasm’s resident “ethnic” member, J-Unit’s real name is Mario Lopez, and he has had a lively career outside of SBTB. His love of the tricycle served him well in Pacific Blue and later, his critical eye landed him a plum judging spot in various pageants, including America’s Most Talented Kid. Still, his crowning triumph was hamming it up with Dick Clark and Danny Bonaduce (a.k.a. Maxim Magazine personified!) on The Other Half. These days, he keeps TVgasm running with his technical prowess and charming dimples.
screetch Madeyoulaugh: This may be the biggest surprise, but Madeyoulaugh’s real name is Dustin Diamond, a.k.a. Screetch. For years now, Madeyoulaugh has struggled to find work outside of his famed role, but occasionally he lands a gig. We were all very proud of Madeyoulaugh’s cameo in the 98 Degrees video for “I Do”, although, we could have done without all the “You guys just don’t understand. Nick Lachey is such a dreamboat” talk. Still, Madeyoulaugh won bragging rights on Celebrity Boxing and while he makes very few people laugh on screen, we’re happy to see that he can bring home the bacon on TVgasm.
kelly Youcantmakeitup: Most people know Youcantmakeitup as Tiffani Amber Thiessen, a.k.a. TVgasm’s girl next door. While she certainly has vamped up her image since The College Years, we still think of her fondly as the Notorious T.A.T. Youcantmakeitup has dropped the “Amber” from her name (she cites a unique hatred for Rob and Amber on The Amazing Race) but her career remains solvent, having recently starred as a lesbian cop on Fox’s short-lived Fastlane. Still, she makes time in her busy schedule to contribute a blurb here and there; although we do really wish she’d make fun of Elizabeth Berkeley a little more.
hollandtaylor M_Ruv: Most TVgasm readers have the notion that M_Ruv is a gay male, and therefore probably expected him to be none other than Mr. Belding himself, a.k.a. actor Dennis Haskins. Well, truth is that M_Ruv’s real identity is Holland Taylor, an esteemed actress who joined Saved By The Bell: The College Years in its second season. Does this mean M_Ruv is a woman? No, he’s still a gay male — it’s your assumptions about Holland Taylor that you’ll have to revise.
About

23 Comments

  1. 1
    curlypacks
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 11:32 am

    Oh.

    So is Jessie Myrtle Spano still stripping- whoops I mean dancing in showgirls?

  2. 2
    curlpacks
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 11:35 am

    Hey B-side, I mean Mark Paul

    I loved your work in White Wolves: A Cry in The Wild 2.

  3. 3
    B-Side
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 11:39 am

    Thank you. Those were real wolves. And real emotions. Some of my finest work.

  4. 4
    Papercuts!
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 11:52 am

    J-Unit, I’m still waiting for you to admit you raped those beauty pagent contestants (look it up).

  5. 5
    smithie
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 11:53 am

    B-side, I am so thrilled to hear you are actually MPG, many of my days as a youth were spent fantasizing about your perfectly coiffed hair.
    I heard that you died in a motorcycle accident. That was such a sad day…Glad to see you are still working…

  6. 6
    mountain girl
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 11:56 am

    I knew there was a reason that I liked this site so much. You guys were a mainstay when I was younger. Remember that time when there was a misunderstanding and Mr Belding got mad? Good times, good times.

  7. 7
    madeyoulaugh
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 12:06 pm

    WHY THE FUCK AM I SCREECH!?

  8. 8
    Slater
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 12:40 pm

    Papercuts!,

    I am fairly docile, beauty pageant contestants have nothing to worry about.

    Goats, on the other hand….

  9. 9
    Lauren
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 12:48 pm

    Well, MYL, would you rather be Mr. Belding? Or Jessie?

    Yeah, I thought so.

    Happy April 1!

  10. 10
    LEah3t
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 1:07 pm

    B-side I always had a feeling you were the handsomest.

  11. 11
    plumes
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 1:56 pm

    And the date today is…….April 1

  12. 12
    Chris
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 2:08 pm

    Where’s Jesse Spano? I understand that after her relapse with speed spills she was unable to do the dance routine for “I’m so excited” as she blurted out in the best episode of her life, “I’m so scared”! I hope you can find a replacement to fill those shoes, oh great ones at tvgasm, because Jesse Pointer Sister Spano deserves a 54th chance. As for Screetch, I ‘ve always wanted to know what Erkel is up to these days, figure you’d be the best person to ask!

  13. 13
    B-Side
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 2:25 pm

    Urkel was at my birthday party this year. I shit you not. He was incredibly nice.

    It was a proud TVgasm moment for me.

  14. 14
    The Dogg Pound
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 2:53 pm

    Wait a minute…there was no second season of SBTB: The College Years. Something doesn’t quite add up. I think you’re all poseurs. You’re not the popular teens from Bayside; you’re those losers from Valley led by that scheming prankster, Principal Stingwell. Frauds, all of you!!!

  15. 15
    Catie
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 3:28 pm

    I don’t want to brag, okay actually I do, but Zack Attack is my friend on MySpace. They have a MySpace Music account. But I’m sure you guys already knew that.

  16. 16
    wendy
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 4:17 pm

    Remember when Zach went solo and that mindy chick made him look like “Mr. Madonna?” Zach was such a dick, but oh so cute.

  17. 17
    TinkerbellAPixie TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 5:03 pm

    J-Unit, loved you in Breaking the Surface: The Greg Louganis Story, you liked mighty fine in your little USA banana hammock!

  18. 18
    jos1yn
    Posted April 1, 2005 at 7:51 pm

    Ha-Ha, very funny m.f’s. Happy April Fools Day and whatnot. The TVgasm ettiquette thing was real cute, too. Now, I’ll be needing my Apprentice recap ASAP, bitches. Get back to work! This means you, B-Side!

    Love you,

    Joslyn

  19. 19
    B-Side
    Posted April 2, 2005 at 1:09 am

    Actually Jos1yn, the spoiler thing was not an April Fools day joke.

  20. 20
    jos1yn
    Posted April 2, 2005 at 7:46 am

    Actually, B-Side, I didn’t say it was a joke. I just said it was cute-meaning I suppose scolding is necessary, but get please get back to the bread and butter-wait you guys do live in Cali- the tofu and edemame of the site-brilliant and hilarious recaps. I’m feenin’ for them! And since we are on the subject of recaps and scolding- uh, Survior recap too, please? Before Wednesday, m’kay? :)

  21. 21
    The Artist Formaly As YourMom
    Posted April 2, 2005 at 10:18 pm

    The cats out of the bag folks, Scott Savol is a wife beater. We all always thought he looked like one, well, now we know he really is one. Do you think this will increase his chances to win? White trash rednecks unite!

  22. 22
    Kelley
    Posted April 2, 2005 at 10:20 pm

    So– the new new about Scott sucks, as he was one of my fave’s, but he does look like the naked molerat on KimPossible, or the actual naked molerat in general…..

  23. 23
    Leah3t
    Posted April 3, 2005 at 2:18 pm

    The more I look at it, that picture of a cat peeking through a hole in a bag is pretty funny….I probably think this because I don’t like cats very much.

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