Challenge: Can Open, Worms Everywhere

The Challenge

By VirginiaApple | Friday, August 12, 2011 | 3:00 pm | 57 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Recaps, The Challenge

So, I finally caught up on the After Shows and Bonus Clips on mtv.com.  First of all, the Miz is still insane, and I still love him.  Second of all, I love MikeMike.  Seriously, if things don’t work out with him and Paula, he should call me.  I’m younger and saner.  Third of all, this episode was made of pure win, so let’s get to it!

Previously:  Johnny/Tyler and Paula/Ev won the last challenge.  Laurel and Cara Maria beat Jonna and Jasmine in one of the most lopsided elimination rounds ever.  Apparently Laurel was “crushed” that CT wore a blue shirt to support the other team.  For some reason, everyone lost their collective shit over the news that they would be traveling 3000 miles to Argentina for their next challenge.

rivals ep 8 freak out“I have no idea where Argentina is, but I know it’s in my contract to freak out over the mention of a location change!”

Wes tells us he’s pooping his pants at the thought of going home, and MikeMike is nervous because he has no idea what to expect in Buenos Aires.  As if he WOULD know what to expect in Costa Rica?  But he should be nervous, because the mob is, without question, planning to send him into the last guy elimination round.

Tyler brings up conspiracy theories and Cara Maria is paranoid.  Okay, honestly, what is the big fucking deal?  The challenges rarely change much based on where they are (heights and/or water are almost always involved), and it’s not like Central and South America are on opposite sides of the world from each other.  Yes, they are traveling to a new location.  So what?

They celebrate their last night in Costa Rica with a toga party, which includes making out, merriment, and some pretty violent rituals.

rivals ep 8 romans
“Friends, Romans, Challengers, lend me your buttocks…”

MikeMike tells us he and Walnuts are going strong, but he’s a little fed up with the guys constantly messing with him.  Bananas says “Mike’s just real fun to make fun of.”  Fuck you, Bananas… ya dumb bitch.  (BTW, in the extended clip online, MikeMike yells “How OLD are you?” at Bananas in response to his childish behavior.  Reason #489 why MikeMike is awesome.)

Cut to MikeMike in his top bunk screaming his head off about the other guys throwing cookies at him.  It makes more sense if you watch the extended version, but basically this was the straw that broke the camel’s back so we get to watch Mike scream about cookies at the top of his lungs.  He gives all of the douches their own individual “FUCK YOU,” and Bananas acts like MikeMike is a psychopath and says now he understands what it means for someone to go postal.  Mike packs his stuff up and Jenn helps him carry it out as Roy Lee calmly tells the douches that they’re assholes and Kenny tries to blame it on Tyler and Johnny.

Jenn shows Mike which bed he can use in the poolhouse, where CT and Wes are apparently staying but are nowhere to be found at the moment.  Roy Lee shows up to check on him and MikeMike yells at Lee for not coming to his defense.  (“Say something, I’m your boy!” he adorably shouts.)  Because he is the coolest motherfucker alive, Roy Lee calmly explains to a still-screaming Mike that he can’t joke around with the douches because they don’t know when to stop.  Before you know it, MikeMike calms down and realizes Roy Lee is right.  They exchange a bro-handshake and “I love you, mans” before Roy Lee heads back up to bed, having completed his first awesome moment of this episode.

rivals ep 8 mikeroyBest.  Bromance.  EVER.  Suck it, Kenny and Evan.

Mike tells us he’s glad to be doing this Challenge with Leroy because they aren’t Rivals, they’re friends.  Holy understatement, Batman.  Mike says that makes things easier.  Seriously, I am so glad that Vegas Adam is such a royal fuckup, because it gave us more time to watch MikeRoy.  Also, say what you want about Roy Lee in terms of book smarts, but he is EXCELLENT at reading people.  He instantly spotted Adam’s bullshit in Vegas even though the rest of the roomies didn’t see it until months later.

The challengers head to Argentina while we watch a reenactment on a cartoon map.  When they get there, CT reminds us that the last challenge is a guys’ one and if he makes it past that he’s in the final, which is what he’s been working toward.  Oh, is that the goal?  I hadn’t noticed.

They get to the house, tell us it’s awesome, and have a wine toast to Argentina.  CT and Laurel sit out on the balcony as CT tells her she’s just like Adam, pretending not to like him.  Laurel tells us she kind of likes him, but she’s mad at him for wearing blue to the Jungle.  They debate what color he wore as we flashback to him wearing a blue shirt (though, to be fair, he was wearing black shorts and a black hat).  He says she’ll have to send him home soon, and she says if he goes home it’s his own fault because it’s “everybody for themselves.”  That will never be true with the Doucheketeers around.

rivals ep 8 tea“Care to join me for a spot of tea and crumpets?”

That night, the insanity is abundant.  Kenny and Paula wrestle, the increasingly-sparingly-seen Ev climbs a pole, there’s a elevator.  Paula tells us there’s a breaking point in the Challenges where everyone goes mental.  Well, she should know, I suppose.  It really is insanity right now, even for a Challenge.  Everyone is wrestling in various states of undress, mattresses are in disarray, everyone is screeching and/or laughing.  Bananas tells us that things then go “from crazy to absolutely psychotic.”

Apparently Wes has dumped an entire two-liter bottle of soda over Cara Maria’s head.  Sadly, this appears not to have been caught on camera, so we only get to see the aftermath.  Too bad, because that would have been hilarious to watch.  I don’t hate Cara Maria or anything, I just think it would have been a fantastic comedic visual.  Sadly, now we just get to watch Wes be proud of himself as he tells her she’s fake and immature.  Oh, right, because Wes is just the fucking picture of maturity.

Cara Maria tells Wes she hates him so much and Paula jumps in to tell CM she’s wet and looking stupid and to go to bed.  Paula says she’s sticking up for Wes, and she’s damn sure about it, too.

rivals ep 8 paulaJust when you thought Paula might make it through ONE season without being a complete goddamn moron.

Walnuts says “it’s called loyalty,” although I have no idea what loyalty she has to Wes.  I guess because he’s partnered with Kenny and siding with the douches, although none of them ever seem to feel quite the same amount of loyalty to Paula.  Even CT is sympathetic toward Cara Maria, telling her Wes is a punk who wouldn’t pull this shit in real life.  Or, as he tell us, “Wes is just a little arrogant punk who doesn’t have a mother who’d spank his ass when he was little.”

Wes follows CM into another room so he can tell her that no one likes her (again, POT-KETTLE, DUDE), and Laurel tells us she’s the only one who has CM’s back.  Laurel yells at Wes to GTFO of their room because she’s “pissed the fuck off.”  He calls her “Amazon” and she retaliates by calling him “Firecrotch” and again telling him to GTFO.  She slams the door in his face and let’s CM cry on her shoulder.  I know Laurel can be a bully and all, but I just never mind when someone is yelling at Wes.  He always seems to bring these things on himself.

CM tells us Laurel has been “dominating” in the past, and we flashback to them fighting on CutThroat.  (BTW, I watched all of the videos on mtv.com that show the rivalries.  Paula and Ev have the lamest “beef” ever.  It’s a 10 second clip of Paula saying that Ev is a jerk for going on the boat with the douches on the Island.  The producers totally just paired them up in hopes that Paula would finally win.)  CM says she doesn’t want to let them see her cry, and she has to put her trust in Laurel.

Kenny bursts into the room and asks, “What the fuck happened?”  Laurel replies, “Get the fuck out.”  ”ME?!” Kenny asks incredulously.  ”Yeah,” says Laurel.  ”Shut up,” Kenny replies.

rivals ep 8 marriedConfession time, guys:  I sort of love watching Kenny and Laurel act like an old married couple.

They sit down to discuss their daughter Cara Maria getting picked on at school, as Laurel helpfully explains to Kenny that CM is hurt.  Laurel then tells us that picking on Cara is getting old, and she’s tired of it… says the girl who INVENTED picking on Cara.  I mean, what if Alexander Graham Bell had gotten tired of the telephone?  Or Gutenberg had gotten tired of the printing press?  Or Snooki had gotten tired of the poof?  Oh, wait… that last one actually happened.  Entrepreneurs just do not have the attention span that they used to.

Laurel chases Wes around trying to pour soda on him as Tyler screeches at her to stay away from the piano.

rivals ep 8 pianoLeave it to the gay guy to defend the fine home furnishings.

Kenny arrives to attempt to calm Laurel down and take the soda from her.  I love it when Kenny is shirtless and being nice.  He has my MP attentions for the time being, because I’m fickle like that.  Dumbass Bananas throws a water bottle at her for no reason, and she points out that this is uncool since she is still near the piano.

Laurel tries to yell at Wes, but Paula keeps trying to interject, so Laurel switches to yelling at Paula.  Her chosen insults include being old, not winning a challenge, being a “reject of a life,” having fake boobs, being anorexic, the inability to get a husband, being childless, and being ugly.  Tyler comes to Paula’s defense and tells Laurel to leave her past out of it, apparently referring to Paula’s anorexia.  Laurel tells Tyler to stay out of it, but he wants Laurel out of his friend’s face.  Ev reappears from the shadows to comfort a crying Paula, who tells us that everyone knows what buttons to push to upset her.

Tyler tries to comfort Paula while CM wails to Leroy that it’s wrong to be so hurtful, and she doesn’t understand how people can treat other people this way.  She’s wailing, and it’s kind of a hilarious visual.  Has she ever seen 90% of reality shows?  Again, I don’t hate CM, but this girl needs a thicker skin.  Stat.  I’m sure she’s been picked on more than we’ve seen and she’s reached her breaking point, but I also think she knows how to play the victim.  Also, this is the girl who was apparently an aspiring dominatrix.

rivals ep 8 mean“Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me, and all you’re ever gonna be is mean… Why you gotta be so mean?”

The next morning, Paula is pissed that Laurel hasn’t apologized.  Someone is looking for a Rivals 2 partner just in case pairing with Ev doesn’t get her a win.  Tyler and Adam discuss the collective mental breakdown of the house.

Challenge time!  Teej welcomes them to Argentina and tells them they’ll be playing Bombs Away.  One team member will be hanging from a helicopter (over water, of course), and the other will have to climb a rope and pull a release to send the hanging partner into the water, then launch him- or herself into the water.  Fastest time wins, falling off of the rope is a DQ.  So much for teamwork, this is completely a one person challenge.  Fastest guys are safe, slowest guys are in the Jungle, fastest girls get $2000.

Paula and Ev make the order while MikeRoy discuss the fact that only a win will save them from the Jungle because the douches sure aren’t going in unless they’re forced to do so.

Laurel and CM are up first.  Obviously, Laurel is doing the climbing and CM is doing the hanging.  BTW, the girls get a rope ladder to climb and the guys just get a rope.  Anyway, Laurel does well.  Jenn and Mandi are up next, with Jenn doing the climbing and Mandi doing the hanging.  We don’t get their time, but it looks like Laurel climbed faster than Jenn.  Ev/Paula are last, and to no one’s surprise, Ev is climbing and Paula is hanging.  The shocking part is that we finally get to hear Ev say some actual words!  She says she’s excited because she’s competing on her own in this one and she loves individual challenges.

rivals ep 8 final“Seriously, for the final, any chance you guys can have Paula just meet me at the finish line?  With her luck she’ll get a spider bite and almost die or something.”

Ev seems to do well, but we don’t get her time so as not to ruin the surprise of who wins the all-important $2000.

CT/Adam are up first for the guys, and CT will be climbing because he weighs more and they’re hoping that will hold the rope steadier.  He starts climbing and appears to be struggling mightily.  After a commercial break to build the suspense, CT falls!  DQ and automatic trip to the Jungle!  MikeRoy are up next, and of course Roy Lee is climbing while MikeMike hangs out.  And let me tell you, Roy Lee flies up that rope LIKE A BOSS.  Kenny says he thinks it’s less than 10 seconds, and from what we see it looks like he’s right.  Seriously, you guys, it is SO AWESOME.  After laying low for the entire season, Roy Lee is winning this episode.  Hands down.

rivals ep 8 plan“Ummm… this wasn’t part of the master plan.  Evan didn’t tell me what to do if this happened.  Can I use my phone-a-friend?”

Kenny wonders aloud to Johnny if maybe they should be worried about MikeRoy in the final.  MikeMike tells us how proud he is of Leroy and makes him show off his friggen GIGANTIC biceps.

Johnny climbs next while Tyler hangs, and he does well, but not well enough.  Wes will be climbing for obvious reasons, since Kenny has fucked up several times this season and one of those times it was at climbing.  He also does well, but it does not appear to be well enough.  Ev immediately congratulates Mike, and I’m worried that this is premature and an ominous sign.

CT tells us this is the worst case scenario for the mob, since one of the douches will have to face him in the Jungle.  I like how CT refers to those pussies as the “mob” when he probably has connections to the actual mob.

Johnny heads over to Kenny/Wes to attempt a civil discussion about who should go in, when they each clearly expect the other to volunteer.  Wes says Johnny should go in since he hasn’t yet and Wes did better today.  Johnny points out that overall he and Tyler have performed much better than Kenny and Wes.  Both make valid points, but one team has to go in.  And seriously, I wouldn’t care if production convinced CT to fall on purpose, gave Leroy grip tape, and greased the rope for the other two, because this is just awesome.

Johnny is pissed that Kenny is letting Wes do the talking.  Well, Evan’s not there, how else is Kenny supposed to know what to do?  What were you expecting, Bananas?  That Kenny would volunteer himself to go in?  Ya dumb bitch.

Teej gathers everyone for the announcements, and Ev won the $2000 for herself and Paula, who acknowledges that she owes one to Ev.  Next, he officially announces MikeRoy as the winners!  LOVE.

rivals ep 8 happyTyler did not get Bananas’ memo that this is bad news.

TJ congratulates them on making it to the final, and Leroy tells us he doesn’t think he would have lasted this long with Adam as a partner, but MikeMike is “ride or die.”  TJ then announces that CT and Adam are being sent straight to the Jungle, and there will be no deliberation since the teams must immediately decide who they will vote in as the other Jungle team.  Nice!  Gotta love these little twists.  Everyone is shocked.

TJ calls on Ev and Paula to make the all-important first vote.  CT is delighted to watch everyone in the alliance as they are forced to vote against each other.  Paula tells us she doesn’t know what to do since the guys didn’t tell her what they wanted, and making decisions on her own is impossible.  She actually says she’s in “panic mode” and that this is literally her “worst nightmare.”  Good lord, get a grip, woman!

rivals ep 8 earsIf you look closely, you can see her brain going up in flames.

Luckily, Ev’s brain is still working as she rationalizes that Johnny and Tyler haven’t gone in yet.  Ev tells us Paula is torn between her loyalty to Kenny and her loyalty to Johnny and Tyler.  She must really like Kenny, because I would think the two guys she’s close with from her season would take precedence over him, but apparently her brain is too busy exploding.  Ev speaks up and votes for Johnny and Tyler.  Jenn/Mandi cancel it out by voting for Kenny and Wes.  Laurel/CM have an easier decision since Laurel is mostly only tied to Kenny and vote for Johnny/Tyler, even though I suspect they’re both still pissed at Wes.

MikeRoy are called on next and vote for Johnny and Tyler.  (Apparently because Wes said so?  I don’ know.)  Bananas is pissed at Wes for speaking up and calls him a “scumbag piece of shit,” which is kind of like when Wes accuses CM of being unlikable.  Get a mirror, dude.

rivals ep 8 bananasTakes one to know one, ya dumb bitch.

Obviously, the two teams each vote for each other, which leaves the score at 4-2 and sends Johnny and Tyler into the Jungle.  Is it wrong that I’m a little surprised/impressed that Teej managed to keep track of the score?  He also helpfully reminds Johnny and Tyler of last season, when they both faced CT instead of each other in an elimination round.  We get an AWESOME flashback to that time that CT was Dora the Explorer, and Bananas played the part of Backpack.

CT is very amused at how upset the mob is, while Bananas gets in a tizzy at Wes and Kenny, saying there was a more “respectful” way to do that.  He doesn’t say what that is, but presumably he means Wes and Kenny should have just thrown themselves on the knife.  Tyler, for his part, snits at Ev and accuses her of stabbing him in the back.  Ev knows he just wants to assign blame.  Kenny feels bad that his friend Johnny is going in, but now Bananas says he needs to get into game mode.

Back at the house, CT and Adam give each other a pep talk.  Adam still considers the douches friends, but knows he needs to count on CT right now.  I’m a little worried, because usually this is what we hear from the losing team.  Jenn sits with Tyler and Bananas and they discuss their plan for Tyler to neutralize CT while Bananas rips Adam’s head off.  Tyler says he’s insulted that Paula let Ev vote them in despite the fact that he has never screwed Paula over.  I seem to remember him being on the team that sent Paula into the last elimination round last season, but I can’t remember what role he played.

Tyler sits Paula down to talk about it and Paula tells us it’s the guys’ own fault for not telling her what to do, but she does feel bad that Tyler is taking it personally.  Tyler reminds her that he stood up for her the other night instead of Kenny, and she says she and Tyler are “family” but she’s been “closer with Kenny longer.”  Ummm, how, exactly?  And she air quoted that… why?  Am I missing something?  Anyway, Tyler says that hurt his feeling more than the vote because he’s always considered her his best friend from The Real World.

rivals ep 8 fickleBut I thought Jenn was your best friend!  Damn, Tyler, fickle much?

Tyler has now rolled his Blame Train into MikeMike station, saying it “kills” him because he “loves” Mike.  Mike tells us Tyler is just being emotional and accuses Tyler and company of trying to throw him into the middle of something.

Roy Lee jumps in and says everyone’s just pissed because he won it for them, otherwise MikeRoy would have been thrown in and everyone would be happy.  He tells Tyler to man up, and when Tyler says he’s won three challenges, Leroy tells Tyler he’s better than that and he’s afraid of CT.  Ladies and gentlemen, Roy Lee for the motherfucking win!  In cast anyone is keeping score, Roy Lee has now been awesome thrice this episode.  AND he gave me an excuse to use “thrice!”

Although, to be fair, if Tyler really was “better than that,” he wouldn’t keep being asked to the Challenge.  Tyler’s nowhere near the worst person on these things, but the people who really are better than that don’t get asked back.  Which is why we’ll probably never see Leroy again, which makes me sad.  Tyler tells Leroy he doesn’t understand the fear because he’s never been in an elimination round.  Leroy calls out for CT to fly in wearing a cape because everyone seems to think he’s a god.

rivals ep 8 awesomeRoy Lee is the one who needs a cape, because he is my goddamn hero this episode.

The next morning, Tyler tells Jenn and Paula that he feels great and he thinks he “exorcised a lot of demons last night.”  Paula still looks like someone punched her in the ovaries.  He says he won’t hold a grudge against Paula because she’s like a sister and he even loves Leroy more, which is crazy.  Disagree, loving Leroy is entirely rational.  CT and Leroy talk about how scared Tyler and the douches are.

Speaking of Tyler and the douches, they sit down to discuss the problem of Adam having some semblance of self-confidence.  Between having CT as partner, feeding off the power of Jenn’s vaginal vortex, and the fact that Kenny is nice to him, apparently Adam is starting to feel like  a real boy, and they simply can’t have that.  Wes says Adam is getting “comfortable,” and no one should feel that way if it doesn’t benefit the douches.  Wes tells them they know exactly how to make someone uncomfortable- treat him like an enemy.  And Wes, of all people, should know.

rivals ep 8 douche“Douche powers, activate!  … Oh wait, I don’t know how to turn them off in the first place.”

Out at da club, everyone is making out with everyone.  Bananas tells Adam that CT is a malignant tumor that they can’t operate on, so he has to kill them both.  Kenny half-heartedly tries to join in, and CT gets pissed because he doesn’t want Adam losing confidence this late in the game.  CT screams at Bananas (and Kenny) that all they do is beat up on little kids, and Bananas yells back that CT beat up a gay kid and beat up Adam.  Ev tries to make us think that CT is going to punch Johnny.  Oh, don’t get my hopes up, Ev.  What I wouldn’t give to see that.  Also, watching Bananas and CT fight over who is the bigger bully is like watching Walnuts and CM fight over who is more emotional.

Next week:  A potentially fatal elimination round.  Jenn is on an IV, but we also see her rowing a boat with Mandi so presumably she does manage to run the final.  More CM and Wes yelling.  Good times!  Also:

rivals ep 8 ewIt’s not a final until somebody vomits!  Poor MikeMike.

OMG, so much awesome this episode.  First and foremost, Leroy!  Calming MikeMike down, SCHOOLING everyone in the challenge, and calling Tyler on his bullshit.  So, so happy MikeRoy are in the final!  I’m rooting for CT and Adam in the elimination and MikeRoy in the final, but I don’t think they’ll win.  Experience does tend to help, especially in finals.  Also rooting for Paula and Ev, followed by Laurel and CM.

Whose side were you on in the fights?  I know MikeMike lost his shit, but the douches always drive people crazy and someone usually cracks right at the end.  I’m not a huge fan of CM (I think she plays the victim and needs to grow a backbone), but I guess I’m on her side because fuck Wes.  And of course, MikeRoy calling out Tyler was fantastic.  So, what did you think of the episode, who are you rooting for, etc?

Oh, and slightly off topic:  Is it just me, or are the Real World Vegas guys from this season the easiest game of Marry/Fuck/Kill on the planet?  Marry Mike, bang Leroy, kill Adam.  (Naomi was kind of a genius.)


57 Comments

  1. 1
    Jon
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    I saw on the aftershow that Laurel and Paula didn’t like each other because they were each jealous of Kenny’s friendship with the other. Even when Kenny is chill and not obnoxious he’s at the center of the argument vortex. However, I’m still rooting for him…even though he’s connected to the Devil.

  2. 2
    Elmstreet
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    VA, I just want to say I love you for being so thorough and awesome with your recaps. I just moved halfway across the country, knew I was going to miss a lot of tv shows, and knew I could rely on your for a solid Challenge recap. Hugs and hugs and many Mikemikes to you.

    I think both RoyLee and MikeMike need capes since both of them are m*f*ing superheroes. In that spirit, instead of “Wes is ugly” jokes, I think this week’s theme should be “RoyLee and MikeMike’s superhero names”.

  3. 3
    Jackie
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    This recap had me laughing so hard!! Especially when you called CT “dora” and Bananas “backpack”. I kinda thought MikeMike yelling at the douches was pretty funny. But I still felt bad for him. As for the Cara Maria thing I felt really bad for her because soda is sticky and gross. Plus Wes is a dumbass motherfucker who has NO problem picking on girls but he would have never pulled that shit on a guy.

    Then, I was actually kinda happy to see Hulkel come out. Paula was acting like a dumbass to CM and couldn’t handle the consequences. I’m rooting for CT/Adam. And Leroy WAS awesome this episode. But then again, when is he never?

  4. 4
    no cars go
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    so i just found these recaps this week and i’ve already gone back and read all of them for the season. you’re seriously hilarious, the “ya dumb bitch” gets me EVERY time. anyways, i admit i’m a big evan fan so by association i like kenny too. it kills me though that he’s paired with wes because my love for kenny doesn’t out do my hate for wes. also the second roy lee called out tyler i wanted to make out with him. i guess that makes me 100% team roy lee and mikemike.

  5. 5
    MaryBelle01
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    Alright I’ve only watched through the part of the episode where Wes dumps soda on Cara Maria and then Paula jumps in to gang up on her with him. Going to finish watching and then enjoy this undoubtedly wonderful and hilarious recap soon. But the scene with Wes and Paula being bullies pissed me off so much I had to pause and comment on it real quick. Wes is an awful, pathetic human being. Before I just found him to be a self-absorbed and obnoxious fratboy type who was nevertheless somewhat entertaining to watch. But dumping soda on someone’s head for no reason, just to be an asshole? What the hell is wrong with him? Does he not know how to act like a human being? I normally would never condone violence but he needs to be punched in the face repeatedly. And then Paula jumping in on the let’s-pick-on-CM-for-no-reason bandwagon was even more disgusting to me. I had been rooting for Paula this season but now I hope she loses. And I hope if she does win she knows damn well it’s because Evelyn carried her ass. I’m so completely disgusted by Paula now. The groupthink and bullying that these people participate in is disgusting. I’m an elementary school teacher and a large majority of the people on these challenges literally act like schoolyard bullies, just with bad plastic surgery and personality disorders thrown in. It’s one thing to go on these shows with a sense of humor about the whole absurd situation and to treat people with some level of dignity despite alliances (for example, thank you Mike, Roy Lee, Evelyn, etc., for being decent human beings). But the Wes’s and Paula’s and Jenn’s who show up on this show and take shit so seriously and think they are big and bad because they can gang up and pick on others, I just hope that they realize what psychopathic buffoons they look like as they watch themselves on television. Congratulations, assholes, you weren’t able to get a real job and make it in the real world, and now you’ve turned making a self-absorbed, egotistical fool of yourself on television into a career. Your parents must be so proud. And Paula, I normally wouldn’t comment on people’s appearance. But you have been looking ROUGH the last three challenges. Time to retire and stop scaring the newbies with your hag face and emotionally unstable behavior.

  6. 6
    plockness monster
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    Great recap, ya dumb bitch!

    Such an eventful episode. Def. lost respect for Kenny when Wes was commanding him to shut up and fad into the background. Like Wes’s ego needs to get any bigger…

    The Wes/CM thing really pissed me off. CM is different and different freaks out the Douche Brigade so they threat her like shit. I agree tha she needs to get a thicker skin, but pouring a bottle of sodaa on someone’s head because they are “like an annoying step sister?” LAUGHED MY ASS OFF when Laurel called him a firecrotch. I ended up feeling bad for Paula too. laurel really went for the jugular.

    You know what I think would be awesome? If we, the viewers, got to vote on the next people we want to see on the Challenge.

    Dude, the Miz is on some major shiz or he is ALWAYS in WWE character mode. His favorite thing to do? Scream and make exaggerated hand jestures.

    Why were Wes and CT sleeping in the same room??

    Ready for MikeMike and Leroy kick ass in the finals!!!! LOVE THEM!

  7. 7
    MaryBelle01
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    Alright finally finished the episode. Great recap. I loved the part about Laurel being CM’s mom and Kenny the dad lol.

    I normally would have felt bad for Paula after Laurel let her have it. But Paula had just finished bullying Cara Maria, so I have zero sympathy for her. She can dish it out but she can’t take it. Also, she was getting too big for her britches talking shit to Laurel. Even Jenn, the other female bully of this challenge who also loves to harass CM, is smart enough not to fuck with Laurel. So Paula starts trying to jump in and talk shit to Laurel like she was jumping in and talking shit to CM and Paula ended up getting her ass handed to her. Then Paula sobbed about it and had a pity party, but I have zero sympathy for you bitch. I am totally done with Paula after this episode.

    And yes Tyler was being an overly emotional brat whining about getting put into the jungle. But I will say that it was lame of Paula not to stick up for him and to at least try to get Evelyn to vote for Kenny/Wes instead. What it boils down to is that Paula will always align herself with heterosexual male douchebags instead of with other women or with gay men, even though said douchebags have always stabbed her in the back.

    I wish there was a way to root for Evelyn and not for Paula in the final. But since there’s not I’m going to be rooting for Laurel/Cara Maria.

    And of course my faves for the guys are CT/Adam (since CT hasn’t been a dick in the past couple of episodes) and Leroy/Mike.

    God Johnny Bananas is such an asshole. I loved how he was getting all high and mighty about Wes’s political shenanigans when Johnny has screwed over tons of people worse than that and he is really just mad that Wes beat him to the punch. Really hoping to watch CT wear him again as a custom-made backpack…

  8. 8
    kdognatl
    Posted August 13, 2011 at 12:07 am

    VA I wish I had a better word than awesome to use for you and your recaps, but I don’t. I think your AWESOMELY hilarious! Fave line “We get an AWESOME flashback to that time that CT was Dora the Explorer, and Bananas played the part of Backpack.” LMAO!

    @Mary, what she said. Excellently put. I felt NO sympathy for Paula. I was totally on CM’s side. I fell more in love with Roylee this episode. When he said the line about CT flying out with his cape on, I died. You are right VA about how rational and sensible he is. Tyler was such a bitch and I loved how Roylee was calling him out and the guys out. They would have thought nothing of putting MikeRoy in the jungle had they not won and would have been happy and drinking. Can’t wait for the next episode and recap :)

  9. 9
    Andrea
    Posted August 13, 2011 at 9:17 am

    Didn’t it seem like CT/Adam helicopter challenge was so much harder than the others?
    They were pounding the water. That seemed very purposeful.

  10. 10
    Angelamh66
    Posted August 13, 2011 at 9:30 am

    Reasons why I loved this episode:
    1) Flashback to Johnny Backpack
    2) LeeRoy as the voice of reason
    3) The outtake of CT teaching MikeMike how to score with the ladies
    Reasons why I hated this episode:
    1) The truly disturbing way these people justify completely awful behavior
    2) The complete and utter lack of self-awareness displayed by most of these people
    3) The way it made me love Laurel. I generally think she is a huge asshole but I loved the Paula smackdown (well-deserved) and how she comforted CM.

  11. 11
    Jestonster
    Posted August 13, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    This episode was full of delicious drama and twists, something that was much needed in this absolutely BORING season.

    I have always loved Laurel for reasons unknown, and now I can justify it after what happened with CM and Paula. Seriously, if Paula is one of the most emotional people on the show, WHY would she even TRY to be a bully? The only thing that would have made everything more perfect was if Laurel called her out for her relationship with Keith (I cannot BELIEVE I still remember his name). That woman is seriously pathetic, and what’s even more pathetic is that she keeps aligning herself with the SAME douchebags every season.

    Tyler is a bitch. I don’t necessarily agree with guys getting into female drama, but since Wes started on CM, I guess I won’t bring that bit up. Again, he has NO reason to bully MikeMike, as he is also veerrryyy sensitive. Everyone has grown a disgustingly huge ego this season, though Tyler has always had one. At least he isn’t throwing around his “educated intelligence” and “class” like he did on previous seasons (including his disgusting role on The Real World, where he was a bully).

    Landon, MikeMike, and Leroy are probably the ONLY good men to ever grace these challenges! Seriously, MikeRoy may just be the most adorable couple on television! The only person that would have made this cast more lovable would be Las Vegas Naomi, but she didn’t have any rivals/friends on the show, so I knew she wouldn’t appear on the show :(

  12. 12
    considerthis
    Posted August 13, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    Paula is so old that when she farts dust comes out.
    Paula is so old that when she lifts up her fake boobs a pilgrim fell out

  13. 13
    Rosalind Herbert
    Posted August 13, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    @Andrea I noticed too. I even pointed it put to my sister.

  14. 14
    CynTV CynTV
    Posted August 13, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    Angela – we should have watched this eppy together. I was chomping at the bit waiting for this recap so I could vent! Everytime I see Wes on screen I want to find him and punch him in the face. God HELP him if he poured soda on me. And what is it with his lisp? Getting to Paula. You’re a big man (yeah, I said it) when you stand next to Wes and gang up on someone, yet you had the gall to curl up into a ball and start crying when Laurel verbally KICKED YOUR ASS. I did not see the fights she and CM got into previously, but she doesn’t hide in the safety of others when she does it . When Laurel started in on Wes, I wanted to hug her. lastly – I think the biggest weasel is Bananas. He (almost literally) HIDES behind Wes and Kenny and chubby Evan. The biggest wuss on MTV. Oh, and did everyone catch the water bottle he threw at Laurel? Isn’t that assault? What are these idiot rules – you can’t throw a punch, but projectiles are just fine? Huh? And Jenn – you’re a really pretty man in makeup. No one likes or tolerates angry drunks. Go. Away.

    And does Cara Marie date the Abram who was on the show? because I think he looks like Wes. Ironic.

    Phew. Rant over.

  15. 15
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted August 14, 2011 at 9:06 am

    I also noticed that CT/Adam’s helicopter ride was more difficult. CT was lower to the water & the wind was horrible. When be fell I thought NOBODY was going to be able to do it, but RoyLee SAILED up that rope. I wonder if he would have beat Wes in the rope climbing jungle where Wes beat Brandon. All in all, great show!!! LOVED the Paula Smackdown handed out by Hulkel. Wes ran so scared when she yelled @ him to gtfo. Awesome.

  16. 16
    yummy
    Posted August 14, 2011 at 10:50 am

    Loved Laurel in this episode. STFU Paula, ya dumb bitch!

  17. 17
    jerseyj
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 8:03 am

    @ Andrea, I actually was looking at Adam’s twitter account last week (yes, I’m patheticallly into this show, so if I get bored at work I’ll look at various cast member’s twitters after the show to see their thoughts on the week’s episode)and Adam said that the episode was edited to make it look like the girls went first. But, actually CT & him went first on every single challenge. Apparently the helicopter pilot was flying around in circles for CT, but after that got the hang of it and it was alot easier for everyone else.

    That said, this was the PERFECT outcome! LOVE LOVE LOVE that LeRoy and MikeMike will be in the finals and that I think CT/Adam will crush the elimination and make it to the finals too. I would love nothing more than some combination of Ct/Adam and MikeMike/LeRoy to win 1st and 2nd, and for Kenny/Wes to get third and cry about how they get no money.

    Also, am I the only one seeing the potential for a Landon/Carly type upset for LeRoy/MikeMike in the final? Just like Landon, Leroy is a BEAST of a competitor and although his partner may be weak he will be able to support him and push him to the best of his abilities just like Landon was able to do with Carly. I LOVE to see the good guys win, so this would be great. I’d also be fine with CT/Adam winning too though, CT has been a changed man this season (and Adam even admitted it in his challenge rivals blog last week). So really they are the “good guys” too. Just as long as none of the members of the douche brigade win I will be happy!

    As for the girls, I want Laurel/CM to win just because of how despicable Paula was on this episode. I watched the after show and was glad Laurel didn’t give in and apologize to her. If you are going to act like a child and join in on bullying a weaker person (CM) then don’t cry like a baby when someone calls you on your bullshit and dishes it right back to you. (like the cliche says, don’t dish it out if you can’t take it). I still like Ev so I want Ev/Paula to get second and I want Jenn/Mandi to get third so once again Jenn’s ability to f*ck her way ot teh final without going into an elimination does her absolutely no good! :)

  18. 18
    jerseyj
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 8:06 am

    Oh and yes, MikeMike, LeRoy and Vegas Adam are the EASIEST game of Marry/F*ck/Kill ever :)

  19. 19
    trkaelin
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 8:40 am

    Ok, I LOVED Laurel in the episode. Bitch is awesome. Leroy is right up there with Samuel L. Jackson. I’m so glad Adam left and he got MikeMike as a partner. Speaking of Mike, he’s just so cute I want to put him on a shelf. I hope they kick everyone’s ass in the final.

  20. 20
    jerseyj
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Oh and one last comment ( I swear it’s my last :) )…I found out some horrifying news over the weekend. Apparently Evan (he of his own gravitational pull) went to the same school as me (Cornell University). Yup, that’s right…a member of The Challenge cast is in fact a graduate of an Ivy League University. I feel like I’ve just entered some sort of alternate universe where I am no longer superior to these idiots we constantly make fun of :p I can sense the value of my degree taking a nosedive as I write this! :) At least my degree is post-graduate…I’ll keep telling myself that, so I can rationalize that he and I are not the same :p

  21. 21
    Flippy Floppy
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Loved the recap. One complaint- Why no screen grab of the “tennis ball?”
    Loved Leroy this episode!

  22. 22
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Evan may have gone to Cornell, but Teej has a graduation certificate from the “Living with Impairment after a Head Wound” workshop.

  23. 23
    Faye
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Paula is so old, she went to the prom with Moses

    Is it considered cruel to make “Paula is so skinny jokes…” seems like I might be crossing a line. But if not, Paula is so skinny she uses Cheerios for bracelets.

  24. 24
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 9:53 am

    I am still not sure why Paula a lines with the guys. They use her until they can’t anymore then throw her under the bus, and she is shocked and hurt every time.

    Just like the guy on BBW, throwing a drink is a bitch move. I wish that crazy Abram would kick Wes’ ass.

    @Jersey — I am sure Evan was admitted due to either mental disablity or being Canadian. (No disrespect to Canadians.)

  25. 25
    Meow
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    Long time reader, first time commenter here. Just wanted to comment on your title for this post. F*R*I*E*N*D*S!!! Chandler is the love of my life. Awesome episode. I’m hopelessly addicted to these Challenges & have a major crush on Kenny. There, I’ve admitted it & that’s the first step to recovery.

  26. 26
    jerseyj
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    hahah @meow you are totally right…I didn’t make that connection until you said it. And I’m giggling picturing the scene…Chandler finding out that Joey never used the dishwasher, he just licked the spoons clean and put them back in the drawer :p

  27. 27
    Rosalind Herbert
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    I was reading some past comments and even tho I have loved CT since the first time I saw him (plus meeting and chilling with him at a club in Myrtle Beach a few yrs ago:), I was wondering if anyones ever heard of him hitting a female?? Didn’t think so.

  28. 28
    plockness monster
    Posted August 15, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    Jestonster – I rally miss Landon!!!!

    Paula is so old, she baby-sat for Jesus.

    Cyn – CM is dating the same Abe as the one from the RW and old Challenges. If I recall correctly, they met on Fresh Meat 2.

    Jersey – I totally follow some of the Challengers on Twitter too. No judgement here :)

    MikeMike was so cute on the After Show. And I love how Roy talked him down after the Douche Brigade were being dicks. At the end, they said “I love you, bro.” MikeMike + RoyLee = Best Friends 4Ever!!!

    Side note – Sorry about all the misspellings in my first post. Just notuced. EEK!

  29. 29
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 16, 2011 at 11:06 am

    Go Jerseyj, go go go Jerseyj! Like Jay-Z watching Lil’Wheezy, the MP HQ is watching you to maybe one day pass the torch. You are EPIC in comment nation.

    Whoever was the genius that said we should be allowed to vote off the cast members I am giving you a free membership card to the MP!

    Also, VA, I can’t think up titles just yet for MikeRoy because there super powers are so awesome they are yet to be defined! But, in your screen cap, with the two of them and Tyler doing a seal clap in the back ground, gave me an idea. We should be able to order the Jersey of the team member we support like the ones they wear on the show. I would totes Rock a RED Leroy or Mike Underarmour shirt (not unlike a cape) or a Blue CT Jersey. Even EV! Cause she’s Boss this Challenge with her silent wisdom. Very Beatrix Kiddo. The MP can open its door to whoever the deem MP worthy (within reason you Wes lovers, I know you’re out there lurking in the shadow of Johnny Bananas, ya dumb bitches!)

    *MP HQ-Status update: “due to technical difficulties we cannot transpose the image of CT and CM and Chris Angel (natch) into the comment space…we will inform you as this situation develops”

  30. 30
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 16, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Whoa- @ Classy drunk, you saw that on BBW too? Man that was OUT OF LINE! I thought he was going to crack her in the face with that glass he hurled it at her so hard.

  31. 31
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted August 16, 2011 at 11:24 am

    @Gypsy, I did say that before I saw BBW reunion. But everyone knows it’s a bitch move. It’s probably in some book called “Punk Ass Bitch Moves and the men who do them”

  32. 32
    sheesh
    Posted August 16, 2011 at 11:49 am

    What about Johnnybackpack throwing a water bottle at Laurel’s face?!

    I swear to the Grey Goose Gods if I ever see that bitchhead I’ll put my foot so far up his arse he’ll be shitting “Cotton Candy” laquer for a month.

  33. 33
    jerseyj
    Posted August 16, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    @ Gypsy, thanks for the love :) Although, the true heroes are the workers in the IT department at my job for not blocking this site :p

  34. 34
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 16, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    @ JJ- you just RULE! And fist bump to you on that point. My company hasn’t either, and hopefully won’t!
    @ Classy- I don’t watch BBW but I was flipping through the channels and saw that there might be some drama so I stopped to watch. (I’m mental) GD, I am ashamed to admit that man played for my beloved C’s! What a Mutha! Total PAB Move.

  35. 35
    Liz
    Posted August 16, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    So I thought it was a lame tease to act like CT might hit someone and get sent home because the previews for the next episode show him competing in the elimination round, so obviously he wasn’t sent home. But I think it’s even lamer now because that night at the club, where Adam is getting mean girled by the douche boys, is the same night Wes poured soda on Cara. If you look at what everyone is wearing at the club, it’s the same clothes. So that fight happened before the challenge before the elimination. I realize they edit but that seems especially lame since they tried to use it as a cliffhanger. Boo I say.

  36. 36
    Gypsy MPHQ
    Posted August 17, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    Yahoo! Here we go Rivals! Here. We. Go!

  37. 37
    VirginiaApple
    Posted August 17, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    Sorry I didn’t get to respond to you guys this week! For the record, I agree with most of what you all said. But anyway, FINALE TIME!

  38. 38
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 6:11 am

    Whoever suggested viewers should vote for the next round of contestants, I’m on board. I wanna see CT, Landon, and Abe against Evan, Johnny [I will NOT call him Bananas], and Wesley.

  39. 39
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 6:15 am

    @Sheesh – Johnny Backpack will do! Nice!

    Adding Leroy to my “dream time” and Kenny to the “douche team”.

  40. 40
    plockeness monster
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 7:39 am

    UGHHHH. How was last night not the finale??? MTV drags this shit onnnnn.

  41. 41
    Gypsy MPHQ
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 10:12 am

    @Enrique’s Mole hereto refered to as EM, I don’t know who suggested that either but, that is the greatest idea for these shows. They need a little fear from the audience to stop acting like “Greek Gods”.

    Last night SUCKED. GO team MIKE ROY!

  42. 42
    Moli Moli
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 11:02 am

    I agree last night sucked, just plain horrible. MikeRoy!!!!!!!! *clears throat* I think there is only 1 person who THINKS s/he is a Greek God and the others aren’t even smart enough to make the claim themselves. Of topic(but sorta on) isn’t BETH *using manly voice* from the Real World with Tami…from 1993 or so?

  43. 43
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    @ Moli, I agree we know who s/he is but I do think most, *ahem* Johnny, Kenny, Tyler, Wes, Jen, Mandi, Walnuts, etc., think they are untoughcable. Just imagine how amazing it would be to see how their personalities would transform if at least part of their fate was based on audience vote. Man I love this idea more and more!

  44. 44
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    Gah! *untouchable

  45. 45
    Monae Linder
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    I agree@ Gypsy…this isnt the Toddlers and Tiaras recap I think typos are ok here *whispering its me Moli*

  46. 46
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    @ML-thanks for havin’ my back :-) . Are the sticklers for grammar over there? I don’t watch/read that show/blog. Just quote CT:

    “ALL OF YOUS, GET OFF OF ME!”

    BTW- I know its not up yet, sorry VA, but does anyone else have the slightest tinge in their tummy that Adam eff’d up on purpose? Or was he just nervous and made a mistake?

  47. 47
    Monae Linder
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Gypsy, I’m dying to talk about it. But, let’s be quiet…..I have seen what they do to Gamsi that talk before the recap(mini-cap)is up. Still having nightmares *holds self*

  48. 48
    Faye
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    I have decided to quit posting because “you just are deep enough for me” BWWWAAAHHHHHAAAAAA

    Cannot wait for the recap. I am hoping VA agrees with me that was not an upset, it was just dumb luck with an Adam chaser. I wish it had been one at a time, try and get your ball in past your opponents. The way CT knocked the two of them down like they weighed less than an ounce was worth the price of admission.

    We here at MP Headquarters would like to say a special thank you to all of our supporters. We will let you know the time and place of the official “Heckle Adam Until He Cries” Rally.

  49. 49
    plockeness monster
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    EM & MPHQ – It was me that suggested we vote :)

  50. 50
    Moli Moli
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    *pelting Adam with M & M’s* …..but not the green ones…my baby loves the green ones

  51. 51
    VirginiaApple
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Hey guys! Don’t worry, I’m not going to yell at anyone. Everyone makes typos, and I totally understand why you all want to talk about last night’s episode. I’m at work right now but will write the recap tonight, and I’ll have plenty to say!

    Oh, and Moli: I believe Beth and Tami are both from season 2, which was 1993.

  52. 52
    Moli Moli
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    Thanks VA, I thought of *deepening my voice* BETH while watching Basket Ball Wives. I know Tami is around 40 and if Beth were older than her on Real World, she had to have been what almost 40 on her last Duel/Challenge is was in what 2008/09?

  53. 53
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 19, 2011 at 7:30 am

    You know everyone, I am just going to be sad when this is all over and we can’t have these amazing comment sessions, I know I am a mush.

    @ Plocky- what a kick a$$ idea! Mad props, I think we should run to MTV with it!

    I’ll see you all over at the new Recap!

  54. 54
    plockeness monster
    Posted August 19, 2011 at 9:07 am

    Thanks Gypsy!! Do you watch the Real World?? That comments section is fun too. And we get new people to make fun of!!!

  55. 55
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 19, 2011 at 9:54 am

    Plock, of course I do! I don’t think I commented last season but I definitely watched it. Good suggestion, aren’t they going back to San Diego…? That was Brad’s season right? Those kids got a lot of crap from the locals there I remember. I still love my MTV but I refue to watch Teen Mom, it needs to stop IMO.

  56. 56
    plockeness monster
    Posted August 20, 2011 at 6:54 am

    Yes! Back to San Diego (when translated means “a whales vagina.” my fav Real Worlder was fr. that season – Cameran.

  57. 57
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 22, 2011 at 7:30 am

    Ahhh yes and the little cutie pie tried a challenge and cried and went home after an hour. Poor thing, wasn’t meant for the mean kids on the Challenges/Infernos/Freshmeats. That was Also when Brad and the other guy dressed up as Mario and Luigi for Halloween and carried a basketball as the coin they chase after in the video game back in the Nintendo days. I always thought that was a funny/good costume idea. God help me, I’ve watched too many of these things. When does it start? LOL!

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