It saddens me to say that the final episodes of Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Inferno II are nearly upon us. This week marks the final of the eliminations for the guys, which leaves us only two or three episodes left. We call these challenges “competitions,” and in some respect, they are. Both teams have accumulated almost the same amount of money into their prize banks, but it is the Bad Asses who have dominated the Infernos, winning all of them except for one. Now that we are winding down, teams are starting to think less about what their teams do as a group, and more about how they can preserve their particular place in the final competition, the only one that will determine who walks home with yet another Bunim/Murray check.Landon and Dan were nominated to be in the Inferno last week, but they still have a chance to save themselves with an Inferno win. Knowing that, it was interesting to see how they and the people around them handled the situation. I think Landon is an idiot, but he isn’t trying to screw over any of his teammates. He tells Darrell straight-up that if he wins, Darrell is probably going. It was sort of a “no hard feelings, this is not personal” type of gesture, but Darrell took it as though Landon was trying to get him to throw the competition so he would be safe. I am not sure why Darrell thought that, but after saying himself at the last men’s Inferno that he was the weakest competitor and should be the one to go, you would think that he wouldn’t act so surprised when Landon told him the truth. Then again, it is Darrell, and he’s probably been hit in the head a few too many times during his boxing days, which must have skewed his logic. How else can you explain the reason he hooked up with Leah on the last Inferno?
At Bad Ass camp, it was a different story. CT, fresh from shaving out the center section of his uni-brow, began to wonder if Dan was going to send him into the Inferno if he won the life shield. When Dan responded with “Your Mother,” you knew that it was going to be a pretty good 12-16 hours in store ahead of us. Although I didn’t agree with Dan when he decided it was time to pick on Jodi, I will say that he is great at pushing buttons, and he knew the one thing that would piss CT off more than anything else is uncertainty, especially about the Inferno. It seemed to have worked, because CT became progressively more upset, first accusing Dan of not liking him, and then accusing him of lying when Dan said that he didn’t have a problem with him. When Dan still wouldn’t answer, CT decided that it didn’t matter anyway, because he knew what Dan was going to do. I guess maybe he thought he could outsmart Dan into confessing his true intentions and then use it on him later. So, it was of no surprise when we learned that Dan wasn’t outsmarted at all.
The name of this week’s game was “Crab Grab” and it was pretty straightforward. Each team had to take ten crabs, one by one, from a box near the shore to a smaller box farther inland. The team that had all of their crabs back first would be the winner. No problem, right? Well, I did leave out the part where each team member would be buried in a pit of sand while sitting on their hands. Therefore, it was going to take some people a lot more time to get out of the sand than others. To speed things up a bit, once team members were out of their sand pits, they could help other team members who are having trouble extracting themselves.
Immediately, that little fact put a lot of strategy into the game. The lifeshield winners would be those people from each team who completed their ten crabs the quickest, instantly making it an issue of “save yourself” or “help your team.” Landon knew this, but it appears that the Good Guys decided it was easier to just have everybody help each other, because you wouldn’t know what happens.
Amazingly, the Bad Asses also had a good grasp on the purpose of this competition. It was an individual challenge, but your team was ultimately judged on the performance of one individual. It was imperative that everybody got out as soon as possible, especially since they had more members to dig out and twice as many girls to free up. Immediately, CT wanted to know if Dan was down with the plan. It wasn’t because CT cared about how the rest of his team did; he just wanted to know what Dan’s strategy was for fear the gay man would nominate him.
Once again, Dan played coy, and deliberately held back from answering if he would help others or not. This had the desired effect of making CT fly off the handle. Dan calmly said that CT was simply trying to pick a fight and that the only reason he made such an issue was because CT was scared of the Inferno. When CT once again failed to get the reaction out of Dan he was hoping for, he once again pouted and said that he had the competition “locked down since day one” so nobody better tell him that he doesn’t know what’s going on. If only CT put as much effort into formulating arguments as he does perfecting his pristine stubble look, he might have a chance in a game of words.
After Jamie and Shavonda do a little skit depicting the problems of the Bad Asses team (hey, it made Landon laugh), everybody got into the pits and the sand started coming down all around them. Most people took it as a little joke, although Derrick was really claustrophobic and looked like he hated to be there. Then, the little twist came. Once they were up to their necks in sand, crabs were placed a couple of inches from their face. This had a lot of the people screaming, even though most of these crabs weren’t moving at all. Tonya was particularly upset about the whole thing and cried, while the Miz took this time to work on his game face with his crab.
As the competition started, it was easy to see who was scared of the Inferno, namely Darrell and CT. Each of them were the first to get out of sand pits of their respective teams, and although CT did help one more person get out, both he and Darell didn’t care much about their team’s winnings as much as saving their scared asses, arguably hurting their teams in the process. In particular, Dan had much trouble getting Rachel out her her little grave. The strategy worked for both of them, as they both won lifeshields, but would it cost their team the victory? Only time would tell.
In the end, the whole thing came down to a race between the two slowest players, just as expected, each of them possessing their own unique flaws. For the Good Guys, Shavonda really wasn’t quite up to running along the beach ten times (oh the horror, running on the beach may make you tired). The latter half of her back and forth was mostly a jog, and it took lots of encouragement from her team to get her motivated. For the Bad Asses, Veronica was deathly afraid of getting pinched in the hands, and therefore took her sweet time picking out the most un-deadly of crabs that were least likely to hurt her. Maybe it’s me, but I think that the live snakes they had to deal with in Battle of the Sexes 2 was a much bigger pain in the ass.
Shavonda ended up winning (barely), and so the Good Guys won as well. The total money earned was now $70,000 for each team. Once again, a meaningless number if your team didn’t win the final challenge. It’s too bad it took Darrell so long to learn how to perform, and even then it took the possibility of elimination to get him to care about the outcome of what happened. But he did perform, and although I was hoping he would take the opportunity to make good on his promise to make the Bad Asses his bitch, we now see that was all talk, and he is more than happy to coast until the buck stops at him. As for CT, I barely know what to say. Why he acts like beating out Dan is some sort of huge accomplishment feeding his male masculinity is beyond me.
The Inferno was called “Pegged,” and in it each person climbed a series of pegs, and then pulled a flag off the top. Landon took it *very* seriously when he was preparing for the challenge. He was trying to psych himself up for the task at hand, but his mannerisms were scaring Dan. I am not sure what Dan would have wanted him to do, but I didn’t think Landon’s preparation was strange at all. The challenge wasn’t long, and although they were neck and neck early, Landon got to his flag first and sent Dan home packing.
Everybody cried or had good things to say about Dan. Hold that. Everybody except for CT had good things to say. CT simply stood off to the side, and for a person who was complaining earlier that Dan wouldn’t look at him in the eye, CT sure looked silly with his head bowed in the background, too scared, idiotic, or stubborn to come up with anything original to say. Too bad “Extreme Douchebag” isn’t a way to make money, because CT would be set for life.
With Dan gone, that removed the last person of any redeeming quality remaining in his old team. Even more than ever, the Bad Asses have got to go.