You Should Have Crossed The Bridge Faster, You Low-Life BITCH!

The Challenge

By B-Side | Monday, October 23, 2006 | 2:22 pm | 45 Comments

derrick2102306I must start this recap off with a horrible, horrendous, and sickening confession: I had a dream last night that involved The Duel. Even worse, it centered around Kina. Now don’t start getting any dirty thoughts — things didn’t get anywhere close to illicit with her. However, in my dream, she did come over to my house and yammer away about things. Luckily, in real life, my cell phone made a noise and woke me from what could have been a truly awful sleeping experience. I don’t know why I was dreaming about Kina (who’s pretty much the reality version of Freddy Krueger), but chances were it was my subconscious telling me “Write the recap… write the recap…” So here I am, at my own psyche’s urging, writing the latest recap of the Real World/Road Ruels Challenge. I just pray that my dreams tonight are free from any further reality specters.This week’s episode began where the last one left off: the punch heard ’round the world (or at least the TVgasm offices). We once again witnessed Tina clocking Beth in the face, and thankfully, this time we got to see it at full speed (none of the slow-mo crap from last week). As a result, we were able to appreciate the full force of this strike, which, sadly, was not that great. Still, it was enough to make Beth walk away as Tina mocked, “Nice face!” Ooh! Good one, Tina! The “nice face” bit always tortures people for years!

Tina then explained to us what it felt like to slam her fist into Beth’s blotchy cranium. “Punching Beth is like punching a frozen piece of pig,” she said, implying that she’s actually punched a frozen piece of pig before (which is not totally out of the question). She then added, “But I know you didn’t feel it because that Botox has gotten your face all frozen.” C’mon, Tina. Don’t act like you won’t be injecting all sorts of stuff into your forehead ten years from now.

Nevertheless, as per the rules, punching is not allowed, and so Tina learned that she would be going home. “That was worth $150,000!” she proclaimed. Um… no, it wasn’t. You could have punched Beth any other time. For free. However, at this point, now that Tina was actually going home for the punch, she had to justify it as best she could, and so she babbled on as if it was the most liberating catharsis of all time. “Honestly, it’s like I just came back from a spa.” she confessed to us. Yes, a spa that cost you $150,000.

Of course, Tina may have been all proud of her actions, but everyone else could see she’d simply been played by Beth. Even nimrod CT could figure out what was going on, saying, “Beth played her like a flute.” Or fiddle. Flute or fiddle. I guess they both work (except, of course, that “flute” sounds idiotic).

Meanwhile, as Tina was escorted away by TJ, Beth puffed out her chest and talked about how tough she was. “She’s fuckin’ intimidated by me,” Beth said, and she was right. Not everyone can be so good at putting on makeup terribly. Beth then boasted, “I could clock the bitch too, you know what I’m saying?” Yeah, Beth. You keep it real! Clock that bitch upside the head! All your homegirls from da streez will get yo’ back!

beth102306
“Save my beautiful face!”

As much as Beth probably wanted to continue clucking around, she had to eventually visit with the medics who tended to her gaping, bleeding wound (read: it was a tiny scrape). I have to say, I was quite annoyed — not at Beth, but at a person I met at a random party back in June who told me about this incident and then claimed that Beth had a black eye for like the next few episodes. What a bruise-tease. I was really hoping to see a battered Beth. Of course, as bruised as she may have been in my hopes and dreams, I knew she could never be as glorious as Trishelle was during those first few days after her mysterious “bike accident” several seasons ago.

trishelle2

While Beth received the finest medical attention in all the land, Tina was officially sent home with rousing applause from her cast members. It was all good, you see, especially because according to Tina, “I’m leaving Brazil with finally finished business.” I assumed that meant she finally got a real job and career path, but then I remember she was just talking out of her ass again.

tina102306
Tina, I’m not sure the producers appreciate you taking a dump in their bucket.

Well, with Tina off the continent, it meant there was no need for a female duel anymore (boo). Might as well move on to the next competition. That night, as is always the tradition, the producers sent a clue to the cast members via their brand-spankin’ new T-Mobile Sidekick III, the official mobile device for poseurs across the land (especially if they’re bedazzled). Anyway, the cryptic message told the kids, “Tomorrow, you will need to choose your steps wisely, or victory may pass you by. Wear your bathing suits.” This immediately spurred a feisty round of conjecturing and theorizing as to what this clue could possibly mean. Beth chimed in with her brilliant deduction: “Passing by is falling down.” Um, actually, falling down is falling down. She might still be recovering from that near-fatal blow to the head.

Anyway, the next day at the challenge, we then learned what all this “passing by” nonsense was all about. Set up high above the ocean was a rickety bridge connecting two platforms. Players had tho choose partners and go from one platform to the other in the quickest amount of time, passing each other by in the process (they would start from opposite platforms). One catch: there was a red plank in the middle of the bridge, and both people had to touch it before they could pass each other. Oh, and one more thing: no sitting or kneeling on the bridge, and if hands touched any part of the bridge, that was verboten also. So basically, this was gonna be impossible. Gotta love it when the producers don’t test out the challenges beforehand.

Well, TJ then had the boys all pick out girls for this challenge, causing Wes to gripe to us, “Oh no. Not another partner thing. I was so happy about not having any teams so I could prove myself as an individual competitor, and now we have to go pick a person? This sucks.” Actually, Wes, last season, you did prove yourself as an individual player already, and you SUCK.

Anyway, first up were Kenny and Beth, the latter of whom apparently had a debilitating fear of heights. That didn’t stop her from charging full speed ahead across the bridge (fairly impressive, considering Beth’s tendency to simply give up and boast about her integrity and humiliating herself etc). Nevertheless, Beth may have galloped full steam ahead, but would that be enough? And furthermore, did we even care? I guess we had to because we then went to commercial on this ever so gripping cliffhanger.

When we returned, Beth was still trekking across the bridge, and while she certainly gets an A for effort, her execution was kind of, well, an F. That’s right, halfway through, she full on fell off and into the water, eliciting the cheers and jubilation of her fellow cast members. Didn’t matter if she fell in or not though. She and Kenny would have been disqualified anyway since he hadn’t even left the platform yet (and she certainly would have passed him before he had touched the red plank. Horrors!).

Well, Beth wasn’t the only one who suffered a DQ. Derrick and Kina were next, and faster than you can say “pumpkin skin,” she had already touched the bridge with her hand. DISQUALIFIED. Aneesa and Nehemiah were next, and despite the crowd yelling “Do not touch! Don’t you touch that!”, Aneesa still touched the bridge. Wes and Svetlana were next, and the two seemed better than anyone else as they both arrived at the red plank together, but of course, Señor Douchebag lost his balance and touched the bridge. Way to prove yourself, idiot.

Yes, it was all about touching the bridge. One team after another after another all disqualified themselves by touching the damn thing. Granted, there were those who also lost their balance, like Eric who grandiosely managed to fall in between the rungs — shockingly not destroying the bridge in the process.

eric102306

Diem and CT on the other hand seemed like they had it in the bag. Diem even crossed all the way to the other platform, but leave it up to CT to screw everything up. He fell off the bridge, causing him to later remark, “I feel like a bum! I drawwped the bawwl after Diem makes it all the way across. I rushed myself and do a little two step up on on the bridge and fall off like a meatball in the end.” Yes, a meatball with giant, dumb hair.

meatball102306
This is way more disturbing than it should be.

Last but not least (okay, sort of least), were Tyler and Paula. They had to cross this bridge otherwise, well, I didn’t know what would happen. I mean, what happens when no team can complete a challenge? Does someone get fired? Nevertheless, the two nobly attempted to cross the bridge, but about three rungs in, Tyler took a huge, wonderful spill that was equal parts painful and embarrassing. It was perfect.

tyler102306

With all the teams having failed, TJ then gathered everyone around and said, “Alright guys. First round’s over with. Nobody got it done; so we’re gonna go ahead and start round two.” Ahhhh… Suddenly there are rounds. How convenient. Well, enough chatter! Let’s start round two, or as I like to call it, “The backup plan in case our challenge totally sucks.”

Basically, for this second go-around, the rules were exactly the same, but the only difference was that people could touch the bridge with any part of their body. This made the challenge infinitely easier, and a little more boring too since we didn’t get any of those nifty splashes that were so fun to watch. Eric injected some excitement into the proceedings by galloping across as if he were being chased by bulls, and Tyler also spiced things up by falling dramatically again, but this time saving himself by crawling back on top of the ladder. The good news was that he avoided disqualification. The bad news was that it didn’t matter anyway. In the end, the team with the fastest score was Jodi and Evan, who narrowly edged out Eric and Robin for the win.

We then headed right into this week’s pick ‘em as Even chose Beth, who in turn chose Nehemiah (which was funny because earlier on, he’d been fretting about being a major target. I guess that was just setup for something down the line). Anyway, the picks went on and on, and ultimately, it came down to Casey having to decide between — shocker — alums from Fresh Meat (Kenny) and Key West (Tyler). Who would she choose??

After the commercial break, Casey announced her pick: Kenny. No shock there. They were fellow Fresh Meat-ers, after all. This meant that for the second time in a row, Tyler was picked last. The disregard these women have for his Madonna-singing-along skills is reprehensible! Anyway, a bitter Tyler tried to hold in his rage, but he couldn’t help but snap, “I don’t know who of you doesn’t like me, but whatever.” Um, based on being picked last for two Duels in a row, I’d have to say whoever doesn’t like Tyler is everybody.

Now last week, Tyler picked his fellow cast mate Johnny Bananas to go into the Duel with him (resulting in John’s early — some might say premature — exit from the show). This time around, Tyler had no Key West fools to target; so he happily revised his strategy to go after the “biggest and best” guy. In this case, that somehow meant Derrick. WELL. This did not go over smoothly. “We’re all like [gasp],” Aneesa told us. Yes, how dare Tyler choose Derrick! I mean, Derrick can send Tyler into the Duel no problem, but Tyler then taking Derrick in? That’s just uncalled for!!!

And by “Uncalled for,” I clearly meant “awesome.” For whatever reason, these kids get some massive egos and sense of entitlement the more challenges they do. Just because Derrick has no life and discernible future and therefore appears on these challenges season after season doesn’t mean that he’s untouchable. Good for Tyler for challenging the social order. For a moment, I was transported back to the early part of the Key West season when Tyler did things that actually entertained me.

Well, having been chosen for the Duel, Derrick had to go stand next to Tyler and TJ, and just to show that he was “serious” about competing, he actually cloaked his head in a towel as if he were a heavyweight boxer about to face Mike Tyson. Shut up, you solemn douchebag.

derrick1102306
How nice of you to join us, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine.

Anyway, Tyler picked one of the oversized novelty Duel cards and learned that he and Derrick would be facing off in… “ASCENDER!” Oooh! How scary! Meanwhile, an irritable Derrick moped to us, “I’m hoping that the Ascender with ascend Tyler’s ass into fucking space!” GOOD ONE! Too bad that was an improper use of “ascend’s” transitive properties. GOTCHA!

We then flashed forward to the Duel where Derrick was looking even more glum than earlier. This was high school mentality at its greatest: the surly senior angry that the brazen freshman was taking him on. Dare I say that I was actually rooting for Tyler in this situation? What an awful turn of events.

Anyway, TJ told us about the Ascender, which basically involved climbing up ropes, swinging across monkey bars, releasing a hanging bag of puzzle pieces, going back down the rope, and then putting together a tangram. This caused Brad to tell us, “We see that there’s going to be a puzzle involved in it. I’m thinking Tyler’s got a lot better shot than I thought he did.” He then added, “You know, because Derrick’s a total idiot.” He ain’t scurrred!

Well, the competition began, and unsurprisingly, Derrick climbed up the rope and released the pieces way faster than Tyler, but that’s not to say the Key Wester was far behind. Before long, the two were slaving away at their tangrams (not sure what this puzzle had to do with “ascending”). From the sideline, Kina offered gentle support to Derrick, saying, “It’s okay, baby, breathe!” It should be noted that Kina loves tangrams, but mostly because you can’t say “tangram” without “tan.”

And speaking of Kina, she soon appeared on the screen to deliver her over-dramatic, moronic comment of the day: “It is the most stressful, anxious situation. Honestly I feel like I’m going to go into, like, cardiac duress.” That’s right. Cardiac duress. Not arrest. Duress. And let’s be honest, nothing is quite as harrowing as watching an intense tangram race!

kina102306
“OMG! I just realized! I totally forgot to apply my evening bronzer!”

Amazingly, Derrick actually pulled off the win, and afterwards, Tyler told us, “I tried my hardest, and certainly my self-esteem is not based on how well I put a puzzle together.” Yeah, um, if Derrick can beat you on a puzzle competition, then I think your self-esteem just has to take a hit. You can’t emerge from that situation and feel good about yourself. Then again, I sometimes forget that Tyler derives his self-confdience from different areas — like his natural gift for painting instant masterpieces. RED GOD!!!

Anyway, as a prize, TJ Lavin handed over an XBox 360 to Derrick, who accepted the reward with nary a smile nor a thank you. Seriously, LIGHTEN UP. And with that, everyone except Tyler left the area. I’m not really sure why Tyler didn’t get to say goodbye to anyone back at the house, but maybe he wanted to stay back and write burn books for each cast mate. At the very least, he could attach a nasty note on all of their doors.

Later on, we found Beth and Aneesa talking about The Punch again, with Aneesa telling Beth that she was smart and playing her own game (yeah, that’s the point this season, Einstein). Ultimately, Aneesa requested that if Beth were to stab her, to stab her in the front, not the back. Meanwhile, Derrick stood in the doorway, quietly eavesdropping in on this brain-numbing conversation. When Beth declared, “I don’t think I’m that difficult of a person to talk to,” he suddenly yelled into the room, “YOU ARE KIND OF DIFFICULT!” Indoor voice, Derrick. Or rather, sober voice. He then followed this with an equally loud bellow of, “ANEESA, LET’S GO!!!” Was it me, or was he sounding very Tony Danza-ish in this scene?

Derrick then continued his drunken rant, saying, “You need to learn how to be a good person. Be a good person!” And by “good,” he meant “drunk with lots of ugly facial hair.”

Beth, of course, completely wrote Derrick off, saying, “Thanks. Go get drunk.” WELL. No one tells Derrick what to do, especially if he’s already drunk! He quickly snapped back, “Hey, go eat some shit, you dirty fucking piece of shit!” How very self-reflexive!

The episode eventually ended with Derrick warning that if Beth continued to stir up trouble, bad things would happen to her. Baaad things. What ever could they be? I guess we’ll have to wait to find out!

What did you think about this episode?

About

45 Comments

  1. 1
    Jennifer30309
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 2:51 pm

    What I loved most was Tyler talking about how proud he was of himself, even after he was outwitted by mental midget Derrick. I wonder if he gives himself a standing O every time he successfully brushes his teeth.

    Also, did anyone else notice stupid Tina talking about how Beth got an attitude in the “mist” of Diem’s big day?

    Good call B-Side on Beth’s makeup. What’s up with the frosted eyeshadow and orange face??

  2. 2
    dsc805
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 2:59 pm

    Excellent recap as always, B-Side.

    As soon as I heard Kina say “cardiac duress”, my first thought was “B-Side is going to nail her on that in his recap.”

    My second thought was, of course, “Dear God, I need to get a life.”

  3. 3
    Megs614
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 3:06 pm

    I seriously live for these recaps.

    After Derrick started yelling at Beth, I was totally waiting for him to yell “You just got Diem-ed!” His rant reminded me of Diem laying into Kenny after she and Derrick were voted into Exile on Fresh Meat.

  4. 4
    rockstarsar
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 3:34 pm

    I finally signed up for a typekey account after months of silently reading. B-Side, your recaps rock my socks. After watching an episode of these shows, I eagerly wait for your hilarious recaps. I loved the comparison to Chancellor Palpatine; I giggled like an idiot.

    I too am guilty of loving Beth’s evil grins. And Kina is so annoying.

  5. 5
    LaSexorcisto
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    At the risk of getting stoned, I actually was feeling a bit glad that Beth Laden was able to stick around. If only because of the great “Go get drunk” dismissal directed at Derri-lick-my-balls. That Le Tigre pout is always on. It’s so amusing to see how the other BMP whores get upset when Beth’s delusional ass is around.

    Tina, fat, dumb, and ugly is no way to go through life. Beth played you like a recorder.

  6. 6
    JohnEDowney
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    CT+Meatball=Hunger-inducing.

  7. 7
    hardly@work
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 5:15 pm

    b-side- applause for the captions this week, honestly LOL

    I don’t know what was sadder this week – rocky begging alex on laguna or tina trying to justify that lame punch she stole on beth

    Am I the only one that likes CTs accent?

    Thrilled that Tyler picked Derrick, hopefully the trend will continue

  8. 8
    hardly@work
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 5:17 pm

    b-side- applause for the captions this week, honestly LOL

    I don’t know what was sadder this week – rocky begging alex on laguna or tina trying to justify that lame punch she stole on beth

    Am I the only one that likes CTs accent?

    Thrilled that Tyler picked Derrick, hopefully the trend will continue

  9. 9
    DeeDee
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 5:22 pm

    you are not the only one I dig CT

  10. 10
    nurseratched
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 5:51 pm

    dsc – I thought the same thing. if she’s in cardiac duress, she’s screwed because nobody knows what that is. quit making up words!

  11. 11
    nurseratched
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 5:52 pm

    . . . or should i say medical conditions . . .

  12. 12
    antebellum
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 5:54 pm

    I loved how Brad, Derrick’s own friend, realized Derrick’s chances might be slim now that there was a PUZZLE involved. And, sadder still, Derrick beat Tyler at this game. Really, how CAN Tyler hold his head up after that? And I knew Derrick with that blanket over his head was gonna get screencapped. He’s such a dramatic fool. I hope he gets voted off early this season, but, now that two of the newbie guys are gone, looks like it’s up to Nehemiah to send him home, or nothing.

    I hate Kina. She’s such a drama queen.

    “Kenny, your words mean nothing!” That was hilarious. I love Kenny.

    #6, are you implying that CT is appetizing?

  13. 13
    IJustWatch
    Posted October 23, 2006 at 10:27 pm

    Maybe all of this time, Kina thought “cardiac arrest” was really “cardiac duress.” For that, I’m very, very sad that no one has ever corrected her.

    Kenny kind of sounds like Shaggy. Beth… it’s a love/hate thing with her. Love the drama she brings, hate looking at her. Wasn’t she a pushover in Venice?

  14. 14
    Lily
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 12:41 am

    I’m loving all the “I hate Kina” comments. I saw her in an airport in Acapulco over the summer–by herself and scowling. That girl has a HUGE head, and looks even bitchier in person!! B-side, you are amazing.. funniest recaps ever!

  15. 15
    mellymel
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 5:41 am

    I saw Kina at an airport too within the past year. She was bulling Randy around. I was the flight with her going back to Philly. It was painful to hear her speak.

    I hate Jersey girls who look like the sterotypical Jersey girls.

  16. 16
    Leah3t
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 6:27 am

    Derek’s drunken rant was right up there with the time he drunkenly talked to a frog in the grass.

    This season has been really great. Sad to see Tina go but Kina can pick up the hate me slack.

  17. 17
    Rick D.
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 7:08 am

    What happened to the “All Pages” link? I always use that instead of going through it page by page. Is that coming back?

    Rick D.

  18. 18
    sweet j
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 7:31 am

    cardiac duress. hee hee.

    and yes, for some reason CT as a meatball face is very disturbing…

  19. 19
    zevonia
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 9:03 am

    IJustWatch (#)- I would assume no one has corrected Kina because she hangs out with RW/RR people who probably think it is “cardiac duress”. These people aren’t exactly rocket scientists, brain surgeons or even college graduates.
    I also have a love/hate relationship with Beth but only a hate/hate relationship with Tina so was glad she left. What an idiot to chose hitting Beth over the chance for more money. Especially considering this is her only income. Ah well, it’s back to the rocket scientist comment as the obvious explanation.

  20. 20
    JohnGalt
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 9:16 am

    Funny how Tina keeps referring to Beth in piglike terms when I can’t think of another human I have seen who looks more like a pig than Tina.

    Cardiac duress. That hurt the fillings in my teeth.

    So is Derrick banging Kina? Am I hearing that right? Or maybe she’s just one of those people who call everyone else “baby.”

  21. 21
    MichyPR
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 11:23 am

    Gotta agree with the hating Kina thing. She is annoying as hell ugh I hope she gets eliminated soon cause she just sucks. As for Tina I’m glad that she’s gone cause I couldn’t stand looking at her for another week.I agree with post #20 Tina does look more lika pig than Beth, and I also agree on liking CT’s accent,I think he’s hot! :) Sucks that for the next duel it’s probably gonna be either Paula or Svetlana to go (preferably Svetlana IMO) but I’ll keep my fingers crossed for Kina to go :) Great recap as always B-Side. I got my fix!

  22. 22
    MichyPR
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 11:24 am

    Gotta agree with the hating Kina thing. She is annoying as hell ugh I hope she gets eliminated soon cause she just sucks. As for Tina I’m glad that she’s gone cause I couldn’t stand looking at her for another week.I agree with post #20 Tina does look more lika pig than Beth, and I also agree on liking CT’s accent,I think he’s hot! :) Sucks that for the next duel it’s probably gonna be either Paula or Svetlana to go (preferably Svetlana IMO) but I’ll keep my fingers crossed for Kina to go :) Great recap as always B-Side. I got my fix!

  23. 23
    ivapbj
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 11:49 am

    Nicely done B-side! But where was the “All pages” button?

    Sad that Tina left, I rather have a good competitor that talks trash, then a manipulative hag who not only sucks at the challenges but then doesn’t even own up to her incompetence!

    I LOVE CT!!! He’s HAWT!!! But I am from MA so I’m biased. Wish he would get a hair cut though.

    I kind of liked it better when the bloggers were anonymous, don’t mind your face guys, it was just more fun when we didn’t see them. Just putting it out there.

  24. 24
    IJustWatch
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 12:23 pm

    Zevonia – very true, very true. I mean I don’t really have any ill feelings towards Tina, but what she did was just plain stupid. AT LEAST.. if you’re going to get kicked off for punching someone, especially Beth, you better go out like a G. She could’ve hit her with a little more force. She barely tapped Beth cuz the bitch put up her dukes – all that Tina was able to do was hit her sunglasses a little. Man at least leave Brazil with a little bit of honor.

  25. 25
    KristinMichelle
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 12:38 pm

    I cannot watch The Duel and eat at the same time. For Derrick, CT, and Wes, it seems that bathing might equal a swim in the ocean. I can’t imagine them to be habitual teeth brushers either. I have this same eating problem when looking at Aaron Carter.

  26. 26
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 1:05 pm

    The Duel is shaping up to be pretty interesting indeed. I’m just hoping that we’ll get some Abram/Brad-ish type duels later on. Nothings better than watching 2 morons kill each other.

    Also I haven’t seen one positive Kina comment on here I think ever, even looks wise. I mean c’mon, I can’t be the only guy on here that thinks shes a pretty girl. Granted, shes real annoying sometimes, and she goes mystic tanning a little too often, but you know you’d hit that if you had the chance guys. She’s got a smoking body and her face really isn’t that bad. I know I wouldn’t shoot her down if I had the chance, and if your honest with yourself, you know you wouldn’t either.

    And one last thing – I sent this email to the Sports Guy on ESPN.com a couple days ago and I don’t know why I didn’t post it here either. Its just an idea I had a while ago about spicing up “The Challenge” that I’ve been adding to for a few months now. I’m sure you all will find it pretty interesting.

    “I am absolutely BS right now¦ In your mailbag today you let Dan from Chicago steal my idea that I proposed to you over 6 months ago when Fresh Meat premiered, and I’m from Boston to boot. He mentioned having Laguna Beach castmates on “The Challenge” next season. In the email I wrote to you, I not only expanded on the idea, but noted much more worthy reasons to have this added than seeing cokehead Jason hit on Tanya. For example, why stop with Laguna Beach? With Real World the only filler now into the challenge cesspool of “talent” why not take people from all MTV’s reality shows? Do this not only for the obvious reasons, but also because I doubt many people from Laguna are going to want to get completely embarrassed on the challenge, due to the their complete ineptitude in every aspect of life besides acts involving boards. They could set it up a lot like previous challenges: 12 Real World/Road Rules allstars Vs. LC, Jason, Cameron and Kyndra from LB, Alex, Max, Kristen and Blair from Two-A-Days, Aubrey and Aundrea from Making the Band and the guys from Rob and Big. I would say Xzibit and Wilder Valderama, but I doubt they would touch this with a ten foot pole. Who wouldn’t watch this show? I don’t even feel right talking about the possible situations that would arise if this show came to fruition, they are honestly endless. Would ANYTHING that happened on this show really surprise you? This show would destroy the “Tysonic” meter as we know it. You know whats even scarier, speaking of the Tysonic people, do you really think that if MTV approached Tyson himself and offered a plump paycheck in front of him that he would say no to “Coaching” one of these teams? Dear God I need to stop before I have an aneurism¦”

  27. 27
    bluespanishsky
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 1:22 pm

    great re-cap b-side! i was hoping you would post a still of tyler falling during the challenge! i had to rewind that at least 5 times and i laughed so hard every time. his arrogance is disgusting.

    yes, where is the ‘all pages’ option? i have to keep this on the dl at work!

    Cardiac duress….oh my goodness kina!? she annoys me, but she is actually looking pretty decent this season. i love tina, her justification for punching beth was pathetic, but i really enjoy her on these challenges.

  28. 28
    YouWannaBMe
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 2:01 pm

    Believe it or not, I thought I heard something even funnier come out of Kina’s mouth when she supposedly said, “cardiac duress”… When I heard it I could have sworn she said, “cardiACT arrest”…
    Either way she’s an orange skinned dumb ass slut. Hope she’s having fun fucking Derrick in his ridiculous tea cozy hats.

  29. 29
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 5:29 pm

    The Duel is pretty good entertainment so far!

    Tina is a dumb-ass. I have no idea how she could compare punching Beth to going to spa since I’m willing to bet that A) She’s never been to one, and B) She can’t afford one.

    I was glad to see Tyler go because I still have a hate hangover from watching him on RW Key West. Although he seems like he might have mellowed out a LITTLE, he’s still ridiculously full of himself.

    Kina is a steaming pile of bitch. She looks like she might have some monkey genes – if she and Derrick have kids they’ll look like Spider Monkeys with fat lips.

    Kenny is hot.

  30. 30
    TakingBackSunday
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 8:16 pm

    Tina punching Beth was great. Every season Beth is on people talk shit about her, but never do anything. Granted it was the lamest punch i’ve ever seen, it was still something. As far as Tina trying to say it was worth w/e the prize money is, she’s right. You know next season she can come back and have a chance to win w/e prize it is then and she can say she punched Beth. Plus she got a free vacation.
    Derrick is such a dork, but I think he’s cute for some reason, and without people like him and Tina the show wouldn’t be as interesting. In my opinion.
    And as for Kina.. God.. she said the wrong word get over it.. everyone does it. It sounds like something I would say.

  31. 31
    Keyser Soze
    Posted October 24, 2006 at 8:42 pm

    Forgot how much I missed TJ saying “you guyses.”
    CT is hot, but only meatballs wear rosary beads as necklaces.
    Tyler- glad the moron is gone. Let us all hope that is the last we see of him.

  32. 32
    BonaFide
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 5:44 am

    I cannot believe how many Kina-hating comments there are on here. I mean she IS a total idiot, but she was barely featured on this episode.

    B-Side doesn’t like Kina because he has the hots for Cara who tried to save herself by jeopardizing her team’s missions and ensuring that her male team members would be sent home when she formed an alliance with the opposing team on The Gauntlet II. Kina has since nursed an intense dislike of Cara since she proved herself to be a non-team-player and would not own up to her wrongdoings. Cara even went so far as to pretend not to know why she wasn’t given more responsibility (to mess up the team’s chances per her alliance) in the missions and why she was alienated from the group. All of this, B-Side forgave because Cara is a playboy-posing hottie.

    I admit that she takes the game way too seriously and needs to tone down the overdramatic comments and the scowling, but I still don’t understand why she is hated so much.

    As for Beth, I didn’t watch her season of RW, and I have only seen her on challenges since Inferno II, but I don’t think that she is as bad as people make her out to be. I mean she’s no Coral. She actually cried twice on the Gauntlet II. I think that she would like to be popular and have friends among the other cast members, but since none of them like her, she covers up her hurt by playing the villain, but I have never seen her do anything truly mean or manipulative.

    As for Tyler, I have realized that I am a sucker for underdogs because I hated him on RW-Key West, but I was rooting for him in the Ascender. I also rooted for Wes on Fresh Meat. Go figure!

  33. 33
    mommysaddicted
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 6:18 am

    Diem has serious issues. To say that you first dated Derrick and then moved on to CT is not only disgusting, but sad, sad, sad. She obviously has a bad boy thing going on and is looking to have a meatball tell her he loves her. I get the icks when CT even speaks, I guess irritated by his pompous attitute when he was probably chosen for the show becuase he is such a circus side show freak.

  34. 34
    animalcrackers
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 6:27 am

    How nice of you to join us, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine

    Best. Ever. i laughed out loud when i read that and i am usually very good at keeping my lols in my head! (my office is very very quiet!)

  35. 35
    JohnEDowney
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 6:55 am

    Derrick is a dumbass, but he’s a very likeable dumbass. It’s refreshing to see somebody more concerned about the game than the drama.

    Kina ain’t attractive. The looks are there, but the charm isn’t.

    Beth is almost old enough to be my mom, so it’s funny to see her gain the upper hand in any situation.

    CT isn’t appetizing; it’s just that whenever I see food, I get hungry. I mean, Regina’s death in “Phantasmagoria” made me hungry.

    Those are the only peeps that I remember that I have opinions of, so yeah, where IS the all pages button? I know it was there when the recap was first put up, so why was it removed?

  36. 36
    MissKatrina
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 7:40 am

    Seeing Beth get punched by anyone is pretty awesome, regardless of the power/damage of said punch; however, I still think Tina is an idiot.

    Kina’s makeup and Beth’s face make me wish color TV didn’t exist. I think my retinas are still recovering.

  37. 37
    okay....
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 8:48 am

    Is TJ perpetually stoned? I mean look at his eyes…….

  38. 38
    Ubiquitous
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 12:53 pm

    As much as I was looking forward to seeing Beth get punched by Tina, that was just lame. And really, if you’re going to expect your co-gamers to throw a parade for you afterwards, at least include a gut-punch or two while you’re at it.

    Was it Kina who was totally confused by them NOT holding deliberation meetings for the elimination game in the first episode?

  39. 39
    missriss
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 4:25 pm

    In a perfect world, tina would have hit Beth, Beth would have hit her back, Kina would have jumped in because she can’t stand someone else having attention. All 3 of the attention whores would have been kicked off and gone from my TV forever.
    Or at least until the next challenge.
    Cardiac Duress…what a tool.

  40. 40
    UglyCutie
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 8:32 pm

    1: I think CT is friggin wicked yo!

    2: (I posted this last week) the way Tina’s lips pucker with every man-voiced word just annoys the piss outta me.

    3: I don’t know why everyone else hates Kina but I hate her cause she was such an arrogant bitch in the last challenge she was on. She just hated on Cara and probably caught Randy looking @ her.

    4: I don’t dislike Beth. I like how her imagined powers of evil actually push everyone’s buttons.

    5: Aneesa just creeps me out. She’s a lesbo, and an ugly one to boot. Plus she looks like she wanted to rape Diem after the mud pit challenge.

    6: Love Diem! She seems like a sincerely sweet girl. I’d totally make it with CT if given the chance too!

  41. 41
    UglyCutie
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 8:33 pm

    1: I think CT is friggin wicked yo!

    2: (I posted this last week) the way Tina’s lips pucker with every man-voiced word just annoys the piss outta me.

    3: I don’t know why everyone else hates Kina but I hate her cause she was such an arrogant bitch in the last challenge she was on. She just hated on Cara and probably caught Randy looking @ her.

    4: I don’t dislike Beth. I like how her imagined powers of evil actually push everyone’s buttons.

    5: Aneesa just creeps me out. She’s a lesbo, and an ugly one to boot. Plus she looks like she wanted to rape Diem after the mud pit challenge.

    6: Love Diem! She seems like a sincerely sweet girl. I’d totally make it with CT if given the chance too!

  42. 42
    UglyCutie
    Posted October 25, 2006 at 8:33 pm

    1: I think CT is friggin wicked yo!

    2: (I posted this last week) the way Tina’s lips pucker with every man-voiced word just annoys the piss outta me.

    3: I don’t know why everyone else hates Kina but I hate her cause she was such an arrogant bitch in the last challenge she was on. She just hated on Cara and probably caught Randy looking @ her.

    4: I don’t dislike Beth. I like how her imagined powers of evil actually push everyone’s buttons.

    5: Aneesa just creeps me out. She’s a lesbo, and an ugly one to boot. Plus she looks like she wanted to rape Diem after the mud pit challenge.

    6: Love Diem! She seems like a sincerely sweet girl. I’d totally make it with CT if given the chance too!

  43. 43
    Ubiquitous
    Posted October 26, 2006 at 8:08 am

    In a perfect world, tina would have hit Beth, Beth would have hit her back, Kina would have jumped in because she can’t stand someone else having attention.

    In Evan’s perfect world, they would have all fallen into that “mud pit” in the process.

  44. 44
    sweet j
    Posted October 26, 2006 at 5:52 pm

    UglyCutie – there’s one big problem with Diem. She’s a raging Bush supporter (as she notes on her website)…but despite that, her removal of her wig was a touching moment…

  45. 45
    Ubiquitous
    Posted October 27, 2006 at 4:55 am

    there’s one big problem with Diem. She’s a raging Bush supporter

    She’s a smart girl! So why’s she doing these challenges?

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.