All Roped In

The Challenge

By B-Side | Wednesday, July 5, 2006 | 2:10 pm | 38 Comments

casey02070506 I’m really enjoying The Real World / Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat, but this week’s episode was a bit, um, lacking in excitement. I’m not sure if that’s the show’s fault or MTV’s. After all, MTV pretty much revealed who’d be going into Exile in all their promos; so really we weren’t left to worry over much beyond whether or not Tonya’s STDs would spread to another poor victim. Nevertheless, this episode did provide its share of belly flops, stupid comments, and annoying Wes-isms; so it wasn’t a total lost cause. And as anyone who read my Jetblue travelogue knows, the show saved me from a post-Treasure Hunters malaise, and for that, I am forever thankful.This week’s episode began the way so many Challenge episodes begin: with the cast doing shots at a local bar. Yay impending liver failure! We then saw Johnnie and Tonya talking about better ways to work as a team, and no, doggy style was not an option (although, I’m sure Tonya was thinking that. Johnny Fairplay better watch out. Once Tonya goes black, she might never go back. And by “back,” I mean “crab-infested, syphilitic dirtbag”).

Elsewhere in the bar, Wes was on the phone, speaking to his main squeeze Johanna. Actually, it wasn’t so much that he was speaking. It was more like hostile complaining. You see, Wes was now the only member of the Austin cast left in Australia, and it was dawning on him that like the viewers, no one else on The Challenge really liked him.

“No one cares if I’m back. No one gives a shit,” he whined. Sadly for Wes, he often says this — at family reunions… class reunions… pretty much any sort of reunion. Let’s face it: no one likes him. Still, he was confident that even though he was unpopular, he would still dominate the whole damn game. “I’ll just keep plucking people off on at a time,” he said. Yes, it’s hard for anyone to defeat Wes and his unbridled FrecklePower!

Meanwhile, the next day, we spotted Evan hanging out in a production van for some odd reason. He explained, “I’ve got a growing pain in my abdomen.” For a moment, I thought he meant the Seaver Family had taken up residence in his stomach, but apparently the growing pain was actually a sports hernia (as opposed to the couch potato hernia that I suffered through seven years ago. No joke). Now Evan was worried about how this medical ailment might undermine his chances at fame and riches. Aw, don’t fret Evan. Show me that smile again. Don’t waste another minute on your cryin’. You’re nowhere near the end. The best is ready to begin. Ohh ooooh ohhh. As long as you and Coral got each other, you got the world spinnin’ right in your hands. Baby you and she, you gotta be, the luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin’. Okay, taking the Growing Pains thing too far. I’ll stop now.

We then cut to our favorite ailing newbie Diem, who announced, “This is a huge escape for me. And it makes me forget that I have cancer.” Sadly for Diem, the next challenge was called, “CANCER TIME!” Actually, no. The next challenge was called “Cross Paths,” and in it, teams had to climb onto a rope (hanging twenty-five feet over water) and traverse from one end to another. The only catch was that each member of the team would start on opposite ends, which meant they’d have to cross paths on the rope. Get it? I actually liked this challenge. Simple in concept, but tricky in execution. Casey, on the other hand, was not a fan of this. “That’s really scary to me,” she said. Other things that are scary to her: dust bunnies, tennis balls, and dandelions.

Well, first up for the big event were Derrick and Diem, who quickly took places on opposite ends of the rope. Diem explained that she had a giant fear of heights, but she was going to pretend there were alligators in the water because her fear of alligators would counteract her fear of heights. Yeah, okay, whatever. Just start the challenge already. The two began climbing along the rope, and everything seemed fine and dandy until they actually had to maneuver around each other. Derrick tried to climb around Diem, but at one point, he nearly lost his grip and had to clutch onto Diem’s body, and d’oh! He was grabbing right onto her ovary! Um, Derrick, she just had surgery there like two days ago. Maybe next time you should grab onto her stomach or breasts or whatever.

Ouch. Right in the baby-maker!

Somehow, Derrick managed to regain his grip on the rope and scramble to his platform. Diem, however, was now totally exhausted. Poor girl was dying up there. Well, not like that. (I really gotta watch what I say around her. So much for my planned Tropic of Cancer joke). Anyway, we went to commercial wondering if Diem would ever be able to finish this ropes course, and when we came back, you’ll never guess what happened: she finished the ropes course! The alligator strategy worked! An inspiration to us all! Derrick was absolutely amazed by Diem’s heart — almost as amazed as he was that his chin could keep producing Brillo pads shave after shave.

Next up were Shane and Linette. Unfortunately for them, Shane slipped off the rope, causing a DQ. “I’m hella disappointed in myself,” he said. And I was hella disappointed that he said “hella.” Johnnie and Tonya were next, and in an effort to get a better time / show off his mini-Hulk abilities, Johnnie traversed the rope using only his hands. No legs, no feet — just pure hands. Try that, ALTON.

Darrell and Aviv took to the ropes next, but they didn’t quite have the Diem luck with them. Darrell made it across just fine, but Aviv shut down about midway through. She began bawling hysterically with pain as if she’d just been shot in the stomach. Finally, she put herself out of her misery and dropped down to the water below. Next up were Tina and Kenny, the latter of whom deserved some sort of award for bravery. Why? Because he endured the unfortunate experience of having Tina’s giant ass in his face. “This isn’t a pretty sight,” he told us. No shit. This is what we’ve been saying for three years now. Seriously, someone should contact the State Department and get this guy a Purple Heart.

Kenny is a brave man.

A very brave man.

Next were Wes and Casey, which we knew would lead to good times. Wes made it across without a problem, and he even did a few cocky pull-ups on the rope at one point. “You’re an idiot,” Katie muttered down on the ground. We’re right there with you, sistah. While Wes was showing off his physical abilities, Casey languished on the rope. She told Wes that she just couldn’t go on, and so he made her promise that she’d kick ass in Exile. She said she would and then just before she let go of the rope, Wes told her to hit the water with her feet. That was nice and all, but clearly too complicated for her. Casey let go, and in one of the funniest falls in Challenge history, she went flailing down into the water below, landing in a semi-belly flop position. This caused Wes to scoff, “I still have to coach her through quitting right.” You know, technically, she didn’t ask for any advice. Don’t act burdened by something you brought on yourself, Wes. I can’t wait for him to be off this show.

Theo and Chanda were up next, and they breezed through in like two seconds. Having more difficulty were Eric and Katie. As you might expect, Eric got about halfway across the rope before he crumbled under his own weight. He dropped from the weight like a giant piano and full-on belly flopped into the water. Just for emphasis, the producers then shook the screen around — almost as if the mere force of Eric’s girth had caused tremors in a two mile radius. Last up were Coral and Evan, who managed to zip through, despite any hernia woes. TJ then read the results, and here’s a shocker: for once, Coral and Evan weren’t in first place. Mayhaps an errant spider got to Coral? No, instead the über-silent team of Theo and Chanda stole away the top spot with an impressive time of fifty-two seconds. It was pretty impressive. The two were all excited about dethroning the reigning champs, but now they were faced with a new dilemma: who to send into Exile? And with that, we had another commercial break — as if there were really any suspense about it. Anyone who’d watched even five seconds of this season knew that Casey and Wes were heading back to Exile, and sure enough, when we returned, guess who Theo and Chanda picked? WES AND CASEY. Consider this mind blown!

Theo didn’t really have to justify his choice, but he did anyway, saying something along the lines of “Blah blah blah blah blah I gotta mohawk.” Trust me, it was actually funny on TV. Wes then tried to intimidate everyone with smug superiority as he said, “Now we get to see how good of (airquotes) ‘friends’ you all are.” Listen, genius. These kids have been doing this for many years. They know they’re not friends. You’re not shattering any illusions they may have. Just shut up and go away already.

We then headed into this week’s deliberations, which we could have fast forwarded right through thanks to the MTV promos, but in case you haven’t seen the commercials, I won’t ruin it for you here. Basically, for the first time ever, the teams had to choose a non-Austin group to face Wes and Casey, and for whatever reason, Tonya and Johnnie became the lucky targets. Why? Not sure. Chances are no one really wanted her stank around. This posed a difficult dilemma for Derrick, who noted, “Tonya is a very good friend of mine.” He then added, “I just got herpes from her last week.”

Well, Johnnie and Tonya voted for Tina and Kenny because… not sure either. They did earn a third place time this week; so it wasn’t based on merit. Katie and Eric, meanwhile, voted for Johnnie and Tonya, as did Kenny and Tina (of course). Evan and Coral, however, sided with Tonya and voted for Kenny and Tina, which brought the votes to a tie of 4-4. And that’s when things went downhill for Tonya. Darrell, Aviv, Shane, and Linette all voted for Tonya and Johnnie, or Tonnie (or would it be Johnya?). Derrick and Diem were going to vote for Kenny and Tina, but at that point, their votes were redundant; so they simply jumped on the Johnya bandwagon instead of drumming up the ire of Tina.

As you can imagine, Tonya was not happy about any of this, especially because she felt she was being voted into Exile based on group hatred of her, not merit (as opposed to her Kenny/Tina vote which was totally based on merit…). Wes also chimed in and told us that no one had any cojones; they had sent Tonya into Exile because it was the easy way out. Well, duh. This is The Challenge — home of scapegoats, slander, and railroading. I’d be disappointed if these people didn’t take the unfair, easy way out.

Later, Tonya confronted her so-called friend Derrick about his vote and once again complained, “This is not based on merit.” No, I think it was based on the current level of STDs in the house. Derrick tried to explain himself, becoming very flustered for no real reason. “Don’t yell at me,” Tonya said, “because I am handling this very well right now.” She then added, “If you raise your voice to me, I will give you crabs. I swear, I will give you crabs.”

Of course, Tonya’s boasts of “handling this very well right now” were soon tossed out the window as she began to freak out on Derrick. The cameras then zoomed in on her face, and man, did she look bad. Who knows if she actually has herpes, but whatever was around her mouth certainly did little to dispel those rumors. She’s an After School Special just waiting to happen.

Ultimately, Tonya told us, “Now you’ve pissed me off, and now I have reason to come back at you, and I will!” She then promised that the “other” Tonya would be coming out and that everyone should be careful. Oooh. Scary! And with that, the episode ended. Yup. That was it. And in case you were wondering, the MTV promos showed that last scene with Tonya freaking out and saying how the vote was unfair. So anyone who saw the promo already knew the teams had voted her into Exile, thus rendering any sort of excitement moot. Way to go, on-air promos people.

Hopefully Johnnie and Tonya will make easy work of Casey and Wes. All they really need to do is solve one of those puzzles. And let’s hope they don’t forget those damn flags like the last two teams. Of course, this is assuming neither team wins a pardon.

What did you think about this episode?

Comments (38)
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38 Comments

1

Leah3t

Posted July 5, 2006 at 2:14 pm

okay so not a thriller ep but i’m still enjoying the show! i loved how the “i am handling this very well right now” was delivered with a trembling, bout to lose my mind crazy lady voice. go crazies!

why didnt anyone vote any of the fallers in?
2

antebellum

Posted July 5, 2006 at 3:38 pm

I too was thinking of ways to combine teammates’ names into one word. Tonnie, Shanette… God, Bennifer really started something.

People really should be considering voting Katie and Eric in. They’ve been consistently weak, and even though Kenny and Tina did well this week while Katie and Eric failed again, I guess since people like them they won’t be voted in for a while. Like Katie said – alliances never fail!

I really think Tonnie could beat Wes and Casey. Tonya is stronger than Casey and Wes may be stronger than Johnnie, but I don’t think Casey has much left in her. Also, she should lose it just to spite Wes.
3

brigita

Posted July 5, 2006 at 3:45 pm

Quick FYI on Evan’s condition: my husband had (probably still has) an athletic hernia, which is when a muscle in the groin pulls away from the bone (maybe pelvis? I can’t remember). It’s pretty common in athletes competing in sports with a lot of pushing-off motion, like hockey and football players.

Evan was wrong when he said doing nothing won’t make it get better, minimizing activity is actually a treatment option, as is surgery. Recovery is about 6 months no matter what you do, so we chose the nothing option. The Mister seems to have gotten better, but he does have to keep an eye on it.

Here endeth the heria lession.
4

MissKatrina

Posted July 5, 2006 at 4:19 pm

Good riddance to Johnya. Johnnie is boring aside from his freakish strength, and Tonya, eh, she’s annoying and is like a human Petri dish. I think they could beat Wes and Casey; although, as much as we all hate Wes’ ghostly visage, he makes for good (i.e. stupid) TV.
5

HoneyBunny

Posted July 5, 2006 at 4:30 pm

Eric’s bellyflop was funny.

Tonya wants people to be honest with her – ok, I don’t like you.

hb
6

gatsby

Posted July 5, 2006 at 4:52 pm

I don’t get why everyone is talking about merit. This isn’t like the last Challenge where people were on large teams. It’s essentially every couple for themselves, so people should be voting the strongest couples into Exile to get rid of them. I was surprised that none of these idiots figured this out and voted in Coral and Evan, since they were finally eligible for Exile. If you were in the very last challenge, would you rather be up against Coral and Evan or a weak team like Katie and Eric or Johanna and Jesse?

Nice recap, btw! I loved the Growing Pains section. Show us that smile again, Evan.
7

The Svan

Posted July 5, 2006 at 5:23 pm

What did you think about this episode?

Belly flops were funny as hell as was Wes’ statements.

What did you think about this commentary? The Svan thinks that B-Side is an asshole who deserves to get cancer. Knock off the fucking cancer jokes, dickhead.
8

mountain_girl

Posted July 5, 2006 at 6:05 pm

Whoa. The Svan needs to unclench. It. Is. A. Joke.

Very funny as always B-Side.
9

Chloe

Posted July 5, 2006 at 6:29 pm

coral and the errant spider… love it, b-side
10

Terence

Posted July 5, 2006 at 6:47 pm

Interesting episode. the lack of drama still didn’t keep me from liking it. Hopefully Johnnie and Tawnnn-yuhh [as he would say it] we’ll beat ditzy and di**head in the Exile. Yes B-Side Kenny is a brave man. To see such horrible sights and not blind your eyes into oblivion is amazing to me. Speaking of Kenny i think I saw him at a fireworks display in Cedar Grove.. [is hometown according to freshmeat].
11

EdHill

Posted July 5, 2006 at 6:48 pm

Is the Svan aware that talking about yourself in the third person CAUSES CANCER!
12

TinkerbellAPixie

Posted July 5, 2006 at 7:19 pm

The Svan – if these recaps and comments keep causing you so much anxiety – there is always the option to – LEAVE.

B-Side – Hilarious recap – I love that you got the photos of Tina’s fat ass. The same fat assed girl who then ripped on Eric for falling and creating a “tsunami”. She’s really one to be pointing fingers.
13

painless

Posted July 5, 2006 at 7:29 pm

Why was Derrick apologizing to Tonya? Doesn’t he know he’s still going to be able to fuck her?…as if he cares about anything else.
14

mo_knows

Posted July 5, 2006 at 7:36 pm

Gatsby- Exactly!!! These people are so stupid! And who cares if they are your friends… aren’t you there to win the money? Dumbasses… and I think there should be a ban on mo or faux hawks on all future reality shows.
Wes still looks like Scott Fargas.
B-Side- love the Growing Pains reference!
15

sillygirl

Posted July 5, 2006 at 8:20 pm

go wes! I hate to see him win but i love to see the others lose
16

anniedawg25

Posted July 5, 2006 at 9:09 pm

tanya’s mouth really grosses me out in that picture.
17

B-Side

Posted July 5, 2006 at 9:46 pm

Hmmm… I never made fun of Diem for having cancer. And I never questioned her character for going through this with cancer. But apparently the mere mention of the word “cancer” is enough to get people all disturbed. Sounds like a case of PC hypersensitivity. Yay!
18

painless

Posted July 5, 2006 at 9:52 pm

B-side, you forgot to mention that cancer IS funny.
Public Service Announcement: I want to bang Diem.
19

zevonia

Posted July 6, 2006 at 1:55 am

Loved the recap, B-side but please don’t quote Growing Pains again. That was painful.
I loved Tonya’s rant about nobody having the balls to tell her the vote wasn’t about merit. When are the votes to put someone in jeopardy on the Challenge ever about merit? Get a grip and a clue, Tonya. Most of these people don’t like you and don’t want you around. After everything that has been said to your face (let alone behind your back) is this fact even in doubt? Are you that delusional?
Gatsby, as smart as it may be to vote in the stronger people, that rarely happens in the Challenge. It usually comes down to a popularity contest which is what makes watching this so much fun!
20

sarah smile

Posted July 6, 2006 at 7:13 am

terrence (#10) that probably was kenny you saw at the fireworks in cedar grove. my ex went to high school with him and according to him kenny still lives around there.
21

sweetjane

Posted July 6, 2006 at 7:24 am

i just had to add this fun tidbit- tonya is now MARRIED. i watch the after show every week (love that blair herder). tonya was on this week and she talked about the fact that she is married. and was dating the guy on the challenge, so she didn’t hook up. his name is adam. poor fool.
22

Ubiquitous

Posted July 6, 2006 at 7:41 am

If you think you dislike Tonya now, you’ll hate her after you watch her on True Life: I’m a Reality Show Star bitching and crying about how much she hates her “fame” at various bar and strip mall openings, yet continually signing up for more.
23

SaveFerris

Posted July 6, 2006 at 8:00 am

Svan (sorry, I refuse to call you “the Svan” – yes, I know you think it is ever so witty), you should hold firm and boycott this site until B-Side stops mentioning the word cancer. Everybody would win – you wouldn’t have to be offended and we wouldn’t have to read your annoying posts.
24

UgoGurl

Posted July 6, 2006 at 8:06 am

gotta agree with gatsby bout leaving the weakest teams till the end but who wants to send Coral&Evan to Exile where they will inevitably kick anyone’s ass and on top of it u just pissed off Coral *shudder*

Wes needs to go away. Is his fake bravado a desperate attempt to cover his lack in other areas? Run Johanna!!! get that eye surgery u need and RUN! He hurts my eyes to look @
25

stacyrocks

Posted July 6, 2006 at 9:03 am

I hope next week is the end of Wes. I am sick of seeing him on my TV. Plus, I don’t like Tonya but I would LOVE to see the look on everyone’s face, seeing Tonya come back from Exile. Hehe!! That would be *sigh* awesome.
26

tvaholic

Posted July 6, 2006 at 10:24 am

Wow, where else would you find a “Growing Pains” reference in almost the same breath as STD’s? And why does it make me so happy? I haven’t watched a second of Fresh Meat but I’m enjoying the recaps, thanks B-Side.

Ubiquitous-I saw that ep of True Life,& I think Tonya’s boyfriend in there is the guy she married. I’m kind of disappointed she didn’t end up with Fairplay if for no good reason other than to just save American women from the male version of Tonya.

Way off track here, but does anyone know if Coral & Abe are still together? Has she mentioned him at all?
27

joeypotter

Posted July 6, 2006 at 11:07 am

I despise Wes, but I hope the urban legend is true that he gets his ass kicked by a kangaroo. The image of that in my mind’s eye is awesome. Please show that and then send him off the show pronto.
28

gasmgrrl

Posted July 6, 2006 at 2:16 pm

Not sure where people’s hate for Tonya comes from. Yes she’s banged many former cast members, but who cares? So has Theo right? And she is annoying but she was not the worst person on True Life I’m a Reality Star (That honor definitely goes to Fairplay- he is disgusting)and she isn’t that annoying on this Challenge.

Now hating Wes is a hate I can get behind! If I never have to see his stupid, hateful, smug face ever again I will be happy. No one deserves to be subjected to the Austin cast.

Tvaholic- I am also very curious about whatever happened to Coral and Abe. I think she said in an interview that they are just friends now, but I need to know what really happened. That was my fave RW/RR relationship ever!
29

tvaholic

Posted July 6, 2006 at 2:33 pm

gasmgrrl-yeah, especially since it came out of frickin’ nowhere! (Coral & Abe)

I think one of the reasons I don’t like Tonya is because she was banging Fairplay. I mean, sleeping around is one thing, I’m all for gettin’ while the gettin’s good, but Fairplay?? Yuck. And she seemed so innocent & naive on RW Chicago.
30

zevonia

Posted July 6, 2006 at 4:27 pm

gasmgrrl, the others’ hatred of Tonya is long standing with many things going into it (not just her promiscuity). We have to remember that these people see each other away from the show (there’s a whole world of celebrialty out there where people from all reality shows meet up). Also there’s a great deal of footage we don’t see. It’s a combination of personality, personal hygiene and the ever popular annoyance factor. Not to mention her rather shaky hold on her emotions and her inability to tell the truth. I have felt sorry for Tonya in the past but she not fresh meat. She knows what these Challenges are like and she knows she’s not popular so why come on the show? Because she wants the attention and the money. End of story.
31

whwhwhymustiwatch???

Posted July 6, 2006 at 8:28 pm

Ok, I am a proud alum of Arizona State University…yet, every time I watch this show I end up thinking: First, Mary Kay Letourneau…next, Scott Peterson…and now…Wes. Sweet Jesus, what’s next? I’m seriously considering mailing my diploma back to Tempe.
32

painless

Posted July 6, 2006 at 8:55 pm

I don’t give a crap how many people Tonya has fucked.
Why does Tonya suck?
Tonya is shameless.
Tonya has no dignity.
33

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted July 7, 2006 at 8:12 am

I loved Eric’s bellyflop, he’s probably not Katie’s type due to his girth – but they would make a great couple.

Wes is a putz. I love watching Theo’s facial expressions when Wes starts yammering about the “old-timers”. I think Casey should just refuse to do the exile race, and when Wes starts his tantrum she should just point and laugh.

Tonya is hateable, because she’s a manipulative, histrionic, malingering, white-trash tramp. I hated her on RW Chicago because she was a malingering hypchondriac, and a manipulative liar. I hated her in her first challenge because she was a manipulative, malingering, simpering twit. I’ve hated her on all subsequent, and current challenges because she’s a manipulative, attention-seeking, disease-ridden slut. **Does anyone remember her “injury” on the challenge when she showed up in a Robo-Cop knee-brace; and when her team wanted to send her in to the elimination round she balked and miraculously recovered? She hasn’t had any injuries or illnesses since, hmmm…..

Svan, you seem very critical in general – why are participating in this blog? You’re kind of like the CANCER mitigating the good fun the rest of us are having. Lighten up.
34

hollabackboy

Posted July 7, 2006 at 8:52 am

I kind of felt bad for Tonya for some weird reason. She’s not exactly my favorite person in the game, but it was kind of unfair for them to send her in when they did really well in the mission. But anyway, that’s the game and they voted on who they liked least, this time around anyway. But I don’t feel too bad for her. I’m predicting that her and Johnnie go in, and they kikc Wes & Casey out. Because Casey is going to be on the After Show next week, and whenever someone is on the After Show after an elimination episode, 9 times out of 10, they were eliminated.

I’m definitely keeping my fingers crossed, because I HATE WES!!! What kind of douchebag does pull ups in the middle of a mission? It would have been so funny if he lost his grip right then and fell. Also,
I laughed my ass off when Kenny complained about Tina’s ass in his face. I’m surprised he could get around it.
35

Ubiquitous

Posted July 7, 2006 at 9:50 am

Ubiquitous-I saw that ep of True Life,& I think Tonya’s boyfriend in there is the guy she married. I’m kind of disappointed she didn’t end up with Fairplay if for no good reason other than to just save American women from the male version of Tonya.

Her boyfriend? I thought she was moving in with him because they had just gotten married. Yeah, she and Fairplay deserve each other.
36

Rayne888

Posted July 7, 2006 at 10:31 am

Oh my goodness… this is certainly a sign of the forthcoming apocalypse… Baby Wes! Check my URL!
37

reeeeelbigfsh

Posted July 8, 2006 at 8:14 pm

Why is everyone using the word livid?? How much hostility is in the house? I bet half of them don’t even know what it means.
38

reeeeelbigfsh

Posted July 8, 2006 at 8:23 pm

Why is everyone using the word livid?? How much hostility is in the house? I bet half of them don’t even know what it means.