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Tuesday, August 8, 2006
8:40 pm
40 Comments
It’s been two weeks since we last saw a team go home on Fresh Meat, which meant it was time to send some more suckers into Exile — home of rudimentary puzzles and mule-like laboring. Once again, heading into last night’s episode, Wes and Casey were nominated to face this challenge for the fifth time, and I was hoping, praying, wishing that this would be it for them. They were facing formidable foes in Shane and Linette — two people who looked capable of a) dragging that awful weight around; b) solving the puzzles; and c) not forgetting THE DAMN FLAGS! As you can imagine, I was optimistic that our mohawked idiot would finally be returning to America, but would my dreams come true? Answer after the jump…This week’s show started with the tribunal of Linette, Aviv, and Diem all talking about the scandalous Exile nominations. As you might remember, Diem put Shane and Linette on the chopping block, despite previous promises that she wouldn’t. You see, Diem, Linette, and Aviv were going to be best friends forever and never stab each other on the back… despite being on a reality show renowned for massive betrayals and catty bitches.
Well, Linette explained her feelings very earnestly to Diem. “I’m not upset at you, Diem. I’m hurt.” Translation: I am VERY upset at you, bitch. I will cut you!
“We’re not upset. We just happen to be staring at you very, very disapprovingly.”
Linette then pleaded not to be the first team to go on the pardon challenge, and if she was going to be first, she wanted Diem to tell her beforehand. You know, that way she could digest the information and form the proper bitch rage to complement it. Well, Diem wanted to make peace and was all for this idea, but clearly, she wasn’t the one who called the shots on her team. That would be Derrick, who quickly informed us, “We’re not going to let Shane and Linette win the pardon. That would be the dumbest thing we could do.” Of course, I wasn’t sure if Derrick was in any position to talk about “dumb” seeing that he’s never been afraid to wear a tea cozy as a hat.
Anyway, with tensions reaching a near simmer, Casey then told us that she and Wes may be down, but they weren’t out. “We’re winning the pardon, and we’re sending Darrell and Aviv in. How do you like them apples?” Whatever you say, Casey. Countdown to Wes quitting the challenge out of frustration begins…. now.
Elsewhere, Linette and Theo cuddled up together for what could be their very last cuddle in the cuddle-riffic continent of Australia. Linette told us she didn’t want to be emotionally attached to Theo, but darnit, she couldn’t help it! Especially when he laid on that intoxicating Theo charm, which usually consists of two parts drawl, one part twang, and five parts nonsense. Nevertheless, Theo told her she’d be fine in the challenge and that he was lucky to have met her. Translation: Yeah, um, so when we get back to the U.S., I probably won’t call you or anything.
The next day, the kids headed out to the river where they encountered tonight’s big event: “Jump Down Under.” Basically, teams had to dive off a platform, plunging twelve meters into the water below (that’s about four stories, or storeys since we’re being metric and Australian). The duos then had to swim twenty feet (so much for the metric system) to the “Rave Super-Launch,” which was basically a giant, inflatable suppository.
Teams would have to climb onto the thing with a rope ladder, grab a flag, and then swim another thirty feet to a buoy. The team with the fastest time would win the pardon AND a pair of Oakleys with a built in MP3 player. I forget the model name, but I think they’re called THE MOST RIDICULOUS LOOKING SUNGLASSES EVER. Yeah, that won’t suck when you sit on them or lose them in a movie theater.
Well, as Diem and Derrick selected the team order for this challenge, Aviv again reminded us how much she didn’t want Linette and Shane to go first. Wouldn’t be a problem though because Diem already said she wouldn’t allow it, right? Um… yeah… not so much. First up were none other than Shane and Linette. This was followed by rolls of laughter in the TVgasm offices. Suckers.
“I’m so disappointed in her,” Linette said. Not to be cruel, but this is really the time when Diem should say, “Yeah, but I have cancer.” Just sayin’. It would shut Linette right up.
Anyhoo…. Shane and Linette begrudgingly went first and seemed to do fine, despite some initial struggles with the rope ladder on the Super Launch. They noted that it was key to move very gingerly on the giant inflatable device, lest they roll off like a sack of non-Super-Launch-worthy potatoes. Next up were Wes and Casey, and before Wes could even forfeit out of frustration, Casey one-upped him by refusing to jump off the platform. “On a scale of one to ten, ten being scaredest, I’m like a 9.7,” Casey said. I wonder why she couldn’t commit to those extra .3 points of “scaredness.” Maybe if she had to answer an SAT question too, it would take it up to a 10.
Well, this challenge was simply too daunting. Casey threw in the towel, and I was bracing for Wes to make fun of her (so that way I could call him out on all the times he’d quit challenges too), but alas, he kept his mouth shut for the most part. Next up were Theo and Chanda who zipped through as usual. They were then followed by Darrell and Aviv, the former of which said something about not being a bitch to this challenge or whatever. I’d be able to take him seriously if he didn’t dive into the water while plugging his nose tight like an eight year old. As the two approached the big float, Darrell then said, “Going on the Super Wave reminds me of when I used to sneak girls in the house, and you had to tiptoe, and you didn’t want to get caught.” Apparently, Darrell was raised on an oversized, inflatable pool raft.
Tina and Kenny were next, and they also did a fine job, quickly making short work of the challenge. Wes event commented, “Wow. They’ve been able to work together ever since that Exile.” It’s really only been like two challenges. Not that impressive of a run.
Last to go were Derrick and Diem, and just like most of the other teams, they powered right through this challenge without a problem. Afterwards, the teams then all assembled in front of TJ Lavin, who said, “That was an amazing challenge. It was probably my favorite by far.” GREAT! This wins the TJ Lavin Medal of Accomplishment!
Anyway, time for results. In fifth place, Shane and Linette (haha — you’re screwed). Fourth went to Theo and Chanda, followed by Darrell and Aviv in third, Tina and Kenny in second, and Derrick and Diem in first once again. Tra la la! Once again, no one was saved from Exile, which meant it was time to say goodbye. At this point, I was really, really hoping Wes would be leaving, and when Casey said, “I’m pretty confident I’m coming back,” I was fairly certain that this would be our week. It had to be!
Well, after the commercial break, we headed right into Exile. Shane told us he was pretty nervous going up against Wes and Casey because “Exile-wise, they kick ass.” No, they don’t kick ass. It’s just that people just keep forgetting to take the stupid flags. But not this time, right? Right? We then saw a few flashes of the puzzles to come (one involved removing three sticks to form only three triangles — something that took us at the TVgasm offices about twenty seconds to figure out. Yeah, we’re awesome), and then it was time for the weigh in. Shane and Linette would be dragging 171 lbs. to Wes and Casey’s 113 lbs. A large difference, but certainly manageable.
As the race began, it looked like things would be going sour for Wes. His partner was struggling, and he commented, “I realize she’s about to suck again, and I’m about to throw up I’m so nervous.” Well, Wes, if it’s any consolation, we’re about to throw up whenever you talk; so you see, we’re all in the same boat.
Well, Shane and Linette took the lead and arrived at the first puzzle ahead of their rivals. It involved a phone and a decoder and letters and numbers. We couldn’t figure out the answer because sadly, we couldn’t read the letters on the phone. Either way, this certainly was the trickiest puzzle so far, and I felt badly because surely Shane would have rocked any of the other lame-ass puzzles so far this season. As a result, Shane and Linette grabbed their flag (thank you) and kept going. Wes and Casey, meanwhile, arrived at the puzzle, gave it a perfunctory look and then powered on. Around this time the girls then started to crumble under the weight of their bags. Linette could barely carry her one sack while Casey gave everything to Wes to carry. Thanks to Linette’s sorry-ass performance, Wes and Casey were able to move ahead, and while Shane ran back to help his partner, their opponents reached the triangle puzzle. Even though this was an easy-ass task, Wes’s lack of brainpower prevented him from taking the two seconds it took to figure it out. He removed three arbitrary sticks, getting the wrong answer.
“Didn’t think so,” Wes said — as if there was even a minor possibility that he had gotten it right. Dumbass, you left FOUR triangles there. What part of THREE do you not understand? Oh, that’s right. ALL OF IT.
Well, even though Wes and Linette were behind, they would surely take over here because there was no way that Shane could mess up this puzzle. But ah yes. I should never underestimate the trappings of a Real World/Road Rules star. Shane removed the wrong sticks (technically, there were only three stars left, but there was still an errant stick on the table, which was apparently verboten. The producers should really be more explicit about the rules. Johnnie got screwed in the same way). Without the benefit of the puzzle, there was no way Shane and his weakling ally could ever gain lost ground. Before we could see the outcome, however, we then moved forward to the household where everyone was waiting to see who would return. The black SUV pulled up and suddenly, Diem began screaming with joy from the porch. The winning team was…
Wes and Casey.
Groan.
We then headed back to Exile and watched as Linette struggled with her bags some more, ultimately leading to her downfall. As she and Shane crossed the finish line second, she muttered, “Two people who have no heart are staying in this game.” Oh be quiet, you bitter pill. At least Shane had some class as he congratulated Wes and Casey, going so far as to say he was really proud of them. Okay, okay. It kind of wreaked of phony bullshit, but it seemed like a nice gesture.
Shane then expressed regret about not winning, saying “I really wanted to come back and give Derrick and Diem a piece of my ass.” Wow. Most people want to give their wrongdoers a piece of their mind, but I guess Shane just wanted to whore his body out. Hey, whatever works.
Back at the ranch, Theo and Aviv reeled from Linette’s departure, and later on, as everyone partied at the local watering hole (Cheeky Monkey’s), Aviv told us that she would be nice and friendly to Diem, but it would all be a ruse. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer! And, if it were possible, maybe keep a plastic surgeon the closest. Just saying — she’s got a bit of a shnozz.
And speaking of close, as the episode ended, we saw a shot of Diem and Derrick looking lovingly into each other’s eyes. Kind of how that one episode of The Gauntlet II ended with Jodi and Alton on the verge of a love connection. Can’t wait to see this relationship unfold. The last thing we need is silly Derrick drama. Wait. What am I saying? Derrick drama’s the best! Bring it on!!
What did you think about this episode?
TV Social
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40 Comments
Hey those are the kind of sunglasses Dog The Bounty Hunter wears on his show 24/7…and I have a big feeling he has never used the MP3 becauase he either can’t figure it out, or has no idea it’s there.
Great recap, B-side and thanks for the shot of Derrick and his tea cozy. That never gets old. Hey maybe his mom or grammy made it for him: aww. No, even if that were true, he still shouldn’t wear it.
I have to laugh everytime Wes and Casey talk about winning a challenge. Especially since most of the time they don’t even finish (or in this case, start). The only thing they are good at is Exile. If they end up as one of the final teams on this show, they’ll still lose because they suck at the challenges. Wouldn’t it be funny if the final challenge was doing all the puzzles that were in Exile?
I applaud Derrick and Diem for actually trying to use some logic in nominations (picking the stronger teams), but I don’t really think Shane and Linette were really as big of a threat as Theo or Darrell.
And is it just me, or does Kenny get hotter and hotter with each passing week???
Is anyone else totally bored with this season?
It made me giggle when Casey spoke about using the prize money for whatever. Uh…prize money? That requires like, winning. And you never do. Because either you or Pasty McMohawk quit every challenge.
Anniedawg (#1), I too noticed the Dog the Bounty Hunter sunglasses.
I had such high expectations for this season. Tina and Tonya together again! New people to do silly drunken things! CORAL! Alas, this season sucks.
Haha! I told everyone Wes and Casey would smoke Shane and Linette. I knew Linette was weak once she started moaning when she was voted into exile. Not at one point did she honestly beleive she would win. Wes and Casey may suck in challenges, but I don’t see any of the teams that are left that can beat them in the exile. I beleive that the final challenge will be just like the exiles, and Wes and Casey will win. I honestly think that when it comes to endurance challenges like the exile, they will win.
I may be in the minority here, but I have to admit to rooting for Wes and Casey in this exile. Linette was just such an immature crybaby about the whole being nominated into exile thing that I just couldn’t stand her. Not that Wes is a beacon of maturity, but so far when it comes to exile he’s talked the talk and then walked the walk. Linette further proved herself deserving to go home with her sore loser comment as she crossed the finish line. I feel a little bad that she dragged Shane home with her, but oh well.
Anybody else HATE the new Justin Timberlake “song” yet? MTV seems to play that clip after every show. It’s not even a song, he just repeats himself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and OVER!!! In my book that’s called a broken record.
Has anyone noticed Casey’s eyelashes? She could be the next Tammy Faye. I want them gone, so bad. I want Tina to beat them, now that would be funny. I think Derrik and Deim hook up and then Derrick tells her that it is a bad idea. Just what I got from the previews of next week. What do you all think?
maybe it’s the tinnitus, but i really thought tj said “ugly” sunglasses, not “oakley.” i’m choosing to believe the former.
proof is in the screencap.
The season is getting boring. Now that Coral & Evan are gone, I don’t have anyone left to root for. Maybe I’ll go with Theo & Chanda since they haven’t been annoying. As long as Wes & Casey don’t win it all, I’ll forget the last few boring episodes and deem the season a success.
-bridgeguy;
I feel your pain on that Justin Timberlake’s “song”.
I’m not sure why, but I am rooting for Wes and Casey now. They’ve proven themselves time and time again, so it’s almost like they deserve to be here (although not completely, since Wes is an ass). Almost like Derrick in the Gauntlet II.
Who HASN’T Derrick hooked up with? For gosh sake he was with ANEESA!! Run Diem! Run! And is it just me or was it a bit snarky for her to cheer like a mad cheerleader when Wes and Casey returned? I thought Linette was her BFF??
Saw Theo, the reality tv whore’s Last Comic Standing routine last night..ummmm…maybe he needs to break out the rabbit ears next time.
I can’t believe that after all these exiles Wes even tries to solve any puzzles..brainpower is not your strength buddy. And i agree, they would have lost several times in Exile if the idiots would have remembered the flags! I at least give props to Shane and Linette for that. SOMEONE SEND PASTY MOHAWK HOME!!!
I miss Coral and Evan too…she was mean to Wes and it cracked me up
also, B-side, I liked it better when you labeled your pictures with what the people were doing, rather than the people and the date, such as “danny_moping” or “melinda_asscheeks” Do that again!
EVERYONE Watch the aftershow at MTV Overdrive. It shows Casey after she quits and she’s crying and it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen her say all season.
O yeah, this week Wes is being interviewed.
When they read their clue off the Sidekick for this challenge, it said something about jumping and fighting and someone said “We’re going to have to box a kangaroo.”
I thought we had finally made it to the episode where the kangaroo kicks Wes’ ass!! Stupid MTV teasing me.
EVERYONE Watch the aftershow at MTV Overdrive. It shows Casey after she quits and she’s crying and it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen her say all season.
O yeah, this week Wes is being interviewed.
I think Wes and Casey are the only thing keeping this season interesting. If they leave what will we be left with? More screentime for Theo and Tina? No thanks.
I agree with jrc2g that (with Coral gone) Wes and Casey are the only ones keeping this season interesting. I just love it when they piss the other teams off by winning Exile. I’ve decided that I can stand to watch Wes the rest of this season as long as he keeps pissing people off.
Court_Love (#3)
Yes. This season sucks. It’s lame and boring. I could care less about the outcome. I would much rather watch the Overdrive.
I wonder if Shane had to be surgically removed from Linette when they came home.
Check out http://sportsline.com/spin/story/9561719
It’s an article that calls Wes the “summer’s most intriguing sports figure.” I kid you not.
Even scarier: I think I agree with the author!
realitymonkey-(#20)
i like to think that linette came home with a shane-shaped pale patch on her back.
I knew you guys would come around and start to tolerate Wes. I loved when he pissed the teams off since the begining. The teams left are pretty weak. I put my money on Wes and Casey. They all wanted to send Wes in until he is out, well he sent most of those people home, and the people he didn’t yet, he will. I bet Theo doesn’t want to go in exile against him now. I think the next group to get sent in will be Theo and Chanda. That’s who I would send in. Darrel can’t even climb a ladder, I’d be surprised if he would finish an exile. If you ask me darrell is dodging bullets. GO WES AND CASEY!!!!
#19
I don’t think this challenge is boring, especially when you compare it to last season’s “Gauntlet II”. That season made me want to pry my eyeballs out and never watch the series again. But, still, there have been juicier challenges ,like “Inferno 2″. Let’s all admit it, these challenges have been missing something ever since Veronica (& even Rachel) haven’t been back. They definitely bring the drama.
I was so disappointed, because I thought this week would finally be the week we’d see Wes & Casey go home. But, Linette just had to be dead weight in the challenge. I was rooting for them too, because I find Wes & Casey both very obnoxious. Linette was being a sore loser about it, but she was right in a way. Wes & Casey suck outside the exile. Both of them have just been throwing in the towel for the past few missions now. If they even make it to the final mission, I don’t think they will win.
k37744, thank you for pointing out the disturbing Shane contact to begin with. He deserved to lose for not having properly learned the 3 ft rule at a young age.
I have to admit Wes is kind of growing on me, but JUST for the fact that he’s picking off all the “old-guard” players. He also did us the favor of saving our retinas from permanent damage by getting Tonya (Her Peas) off of our TV screens.
I still think he’s a d-ck, but he’s serving a purpose. Casey, on the other hand…
I felt bad for her at first, but she is REALLY dumb. If I close my eyes when she’s speaking she sounds like a feminized version of Homer Simpson DOH!
Tina’s Gyn-astics were horrifyingly funny. I’ll bet Kenny is STILL having nightmares! I wonder if he experienced anti-gravity from being so close to her black hole?
Diem and Derrick? Eeeeeewwwwww!
I watched both of the last episodes on DVR – so I might have gotten them confused. Sorry!
I had a feeling Derrick liked Diem from the start. I have to say I find them both pretty uninteresting so a storyline based around them together is going to be a snoozer.
Casy wanted to put her brothers through college with the money. Two peopel through college? Is this the cheapest college on earth?
and I love the new justin song.
okay i take it back- the prize money is more than i thought it was. so casy, if you win, yes you can put them through college. and if you win, that means wes wins. which means i cry.
I don’t love the new Justin song, but I definitely like it. It’s got a great groove. Do I sound corny saying that?
(#30)
no, just gay.
Gigi, YES. Kenny is very hot. But on the other hand, on what planet is Theo hot? His slightly deformed appearance, lame jokes, and accent totally kill it for me.
I was hoping Shanette would send Wes and Casey home. I liked Shanette, though Linette’s whining got very annoying. I can’t say I blame her, though–I know the game is all about back-stabbing and lying, but even I couldn’t believe how two-faced Diem was being. And as far as her and Derrick–do we really care? The season’s almost over, the storylines are wearing thin.
The new Justin song is extremely repetitive and pretty annoying, but catchy.
TheEmancipationofGigi (#3), I thought the same thing (not about Kenny, about the strategy). Derrick and Diem look like they have a much better chance against Shane and Linette than against both Theo and Chanda and Darrell and Aviv.
Of course, it might be too much to expect Derrick to come up with more than one good idea per decade.
BLNT, #31.
I have to say I love the Justin Timberlake song, but I am sure MTV and the radio will play it out. I miss the Katie freak outs. This season is ok. No explosive episodes. I never thought I would think this when I first started watching but…I want to see Wes and Casey win.
This ep wasn’t very interesting, except for Casey’s little meltdown right before the challenge and her picking Shane and Linette to go first right after promising she wouldn’t do that.
Wait, Justin Timberlake has a new song out? Why don’t they ever promote them?
i love the title b-side!
i thought this episode sucked. actually i think this whole season sucks big time. the only good thing about it was coral and evan.they were funny and evans a hot piece of ass.
i really hope wes gets kicked off soon he pisses me off. i hated him during his season with his stupid haircut then and i hate him even more now… with his stupid haircut. bwahahah for real though he looks like a penis and whatever he says pisses me off he needs to go.
by the way i despise that jt song too. him and his song suck donkey balls.
I loved this episode. And I missed Derrick’s hat. hahaha I loved this recap. I really laughed hard.
please help me. I want know Derrik Email. How i may do it
please help me. how i can know Derrik Email