Mo Money, Mo Problems

The Challenge

By admin | Tuesday, August 15, 2006 | 5:31 pm | 25 Comments

freshmeat8-15-06Over the last few weeks, the Real World/ Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat has really taken a turn. Whenever theses challenges get down to the final few teams, the strategey gets a little more complicated. People start to realize that eventually there will be no more eliminations, and the prize money is going to come down to a head-to-head performance. If you’re playing for the largest sum in Challenge history, wouldn’t you want to compete for that final challenge against a weaker team? With only a few teams left to eliminate, that means that of people are going to find out who their friends are, and the team testing those friendships more than any other is Derrick and Diem, who are defining the cancer patient/alcoholic romance for an entire generation.The longer Derrick and Diem have been in Australia, the closer these two have become. You know, it’s not unusual for two people on one of these challenges to become infatuated with the other; I think it’s called Stockholm Syndrome. I guess I can understand why the chicks would dig Derrick. He’s usually drunk enough that he uses the foam of his Pabst Blue Ribbon to shave, but even in that condition, he is smooth enough to compliment Diem’s awesome smile and her great body. Don’t you remember the first time somebody looked into your eyes, burped some bourbon, blinked a couple of times to focus, and then smiled and said “Like, you’re beautiful”? And they say romance is dead!

I’m not sure if Diem has fallen for Derrick, but they are getting close enough that she is starting to worry about what their future together will mean. As we all know, Diem has ovarian cancer, which is scary enough, but like anything that affects your body and has dramatic side effects, she is worried how people will treat her during her treatment. She’s cute now, and Derrick seems to care about her, but will he feel the same when she is bald and puking all through the night? The thought of that type of rejection is literally enough to make her cry.

You know Derrick seems to care bout Diem. He says he enjoys her company, and he even thinks that she is getting something from hanging around Derrick. I’m not sure what that “something” would be, but if I was hanging around Derrick, I would probably be worried about getting something called “stupid”. He drinks so much, I would be afraid of retroactively contracting fetal alcohol syndrome.

freshmeat8-15-06a
“Your pants must be mirrors, because I see me in them”

But in all seriousness, I don’t think Diem has to worry about Derrick being so shallow as to dump her for getting treatment for cancer. Let’s be honest, guys will dump girls for reasons even more petty than that! Most men are jerks, and Diem should know that there are lots of things that can go wrong. What if he’s “Taste Great” and she’s “Less Filling”? Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me, and they better call it off. The only way to combat this is to be an insane psychobitch and attempt to control every aspect of his life. That ALWAYS works.

Whatever you say about Derrick and Diem, it’s not as odd of a pairing as Tina and Kenny. Kenny seems like a cool person. He doesn’t take things too seriously, he seems to have a lot of fun, and he does all of this while paired with one of the most notoriously annoying people in the history of reality television. If I knew I was going to be in a foreign country with Tina for any extended period of time, I’d make sure to have a couple of bottles of Xanax and a do not resuscitate order in my carry-on. Should things start to become too much for me to bear (for example, she starts to talk), I can quickly end the suffering without too much pain. I almost ended it all here in the states when Tina said that Kenny takes care of her outside the challenges as well. What does that mean? I don’t want to know.

This week’s challenge took place four miles off the coast of Australia, and the way that TJ Lavin was calling it the most extreme thing that was ever done on the challenge; I couldn’t wait to see what was in store. Like most of the challenges, this one was overly complex for what actually happened. The teams would use a free diving (i.e. without SCUBA gear) sled to descend to thirty feet below sea level. Once there, they had to grab a flag. Once they grabbed their flag, they had to stay underwater as long as possible. The team that was able to stay underwater the longest would win.

It sounds sort of easy, but as anybody who is a swimmer can tell you, diving even ten feet without SCUBA gear and most people start to feel pressure on the ears. By the time you get to 25 or 30 feet, the pressure is going to be about twice as much as it was on the surface, meaning you’ll have headaches and lots of pressure on your lungs. That still doesn’t explain why they had to travel four miles off the Australian coast. Essentially, this challenge is about holding your breath, so they could have held it in any pool really. Actually, to save time, they could have just had people dunk their heads in the bathtub. This has the added benefit of convincing the viewers that Wes actually knows how to bathe, or at least find a bathtub.

Tina and Kenny went first, and the pressure was so great that they immediately surfaced. Tina said that there was so much pressure in her head that it was the worst feeling that she ever had, which just goes to show you that Tina has never had to watch herself for three months of television. Now THAT’S pain, and I think we can all relate. Darrell and Aviv were next, and they were able to get the flag, but Darrell surfaced almost immediately afterwards.

Chanda and Theo, who probably have to be considered the strongest team of those still in contention, were next. Chanda hasn’t said a lot, but she has easily been the toughest of the girls during this challenge. She hasn’t kicked ass in any of the challenges, but there was never a time when you thought that Theo was carrying her and she couldn’t pull her own weight. For this challenge, Chanda said that she would drown herself if it meant winning the challenge. Chanda didn’t drown herself, but she and Theo were able to stay underwater longer than either of the teams that went before them.

Wes and Casey were next, but once again, their strategy wasn’t so great. Instead of waiting to the count of three before pulling the rope to send them underwater, Casey simply pulled the rope, and since it surprised both of them, they had a little trouble getting a deep breath. They got their flag, but weren’t able to stay underwater for long.

freshmeat8-15-06b

Finally we got to Derrick and Diem. Some may say that his motivation for being in the game and doing it all for her is a little misplaced, but it has really helped him focus, and when Derrick is focused he is a very difficult person to beat. When the two of them got in the water, the producers decided that it would be a good idea to show some sharks in the water, but it was clearly some file footage they had lying around or something. The only great white I saw anywhere near the water was not a shark, but the Great White Idiot, Wes.

Derrick and Diem barely beat out Theo and Chanda for the win, and when it came time to pick somebody for exile, it seemed like it would be fairly straightforward. Theo talked about how he, Darrell, and Derrick had a deal to look out for each other. Derrick and Diem would pick either Tina and Kenny or Wes and Casey, leaving Darrell and Aviv and Theo and Chanda around to vote the remaining team into exile. Sounds pretty easy right?

Well, it should have been fairly easy, but it looks like Bunim/Murray made the prize money big enough that people are really starting to sell out their friends in the hopes of getting a larger piece of that pie. Derrick already convinced Diem to screw over a couple of her friends, and now it looks like he was starting to think that maybe it would be smarter to vote in Theo and Chanda. It took them a long time to think it through, and I never thought that they would actually send in Theo. You see more cronyism in these challenges than in defense contract bidding and Ivy League admissions.

freshmeat8-15-06c
Way to take it like a man Derrick.

Sending Theo and Chanda into exile opened up a real opportunity for Tina and Kenny and Wes and Casey. If the two of them got together, they could send Darrell and Aviv into exile, and with a little luck next week, one of them might even be able to make it to the final. This was such an easy decision that not even Wes and Tina’s influence was going to be able to fuck it up.

As much of a tough that Derrick is, he wasn’t even man enough to look his friends in the eye after what he had done with them, happy to let his partner do the talking. Derrick had no problem sending in Theo and Chanda, but when he realized that Darrell and Aviv were going in, he couldn’t believe it, saying that if he thought he did the math, and figured that Tina and Kenny were going in. I understand that Derrick could have been confused, but what is this thing about doing the math? Is he serious? Doing the math involves counting, all the way up to THREE. Next thing you know, Derrick is going to say he lost count trying to figure out how many balls that he has. OK, he was under a lot of pressure and had to make a decision, and they only gave him TWENTY MINUTES. That’s not a lot of time, especially considering they were four miles away from the coast. If he left his calculator on the mainland, how do you expect him to do the math? IN HIS HEAD?

freshmeat8-15-06d
I know Exile is scary, but I’m more worried about the Unabomber

Anyway, Derrick’s actions caused a lot of craziness, but Like Paula Abdul said, sometimes you take two steps forward and two steps back. Besides, losing Darrell and Theo as friends, Derrick also gained a new ally in Wes, perhaps the only person who could understand what Derrick did. Wes convinced Derrick that he didn’t do anything anybody else wouldn’t have done, and Derrick decided that they should look out for each other. Now, there is always the possibility that Theo and Chanda or Darrell and Aviv will capture first place and gain a pardon, and I wonder if Derrick teaming up with Wes means that there is a Karma boomerang heading his way soon.

Still, let’s not dwell on what Derrick lost; let’s talk about what he gained. Towards the end of the episode, we see Derrick, once again very drunk, and he seems to have finally won enough of Diem’s approval that she thinks it’s safe to lock lips with him. Hey, when you are in line for chemotherapy, the thought of herpes sores is not enough to hold you back from a long relationship. Besides, Derrick is so romantic. At the end, he says that he sees the beauty in Diem, and if he wins the money, maybe it will save her life. Other things that might save her life: 1) not flying to Australia when you learn you need to treat your cancer, and 2) not contracting any disease that would affect your immune system.

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Awww

So, we only have a few weeks left, and the teams are really starting to play for keeps. What did you think of this episode? Did Derrick and Diem make the right choice by betraying their friends? Who do you think will go into exile? Who do you think will win?

About

25 Comments

  1. 1
    raggedy_andy
    Posted August 15, 2006 at 7:45 pm

    How can you not fall in love with Derrick?

    “Derrick kiss. Derrick SMASH!!!”

    Such eloquence and poetry. How can not a teary eye exist after that?

    And the depth in his glazed over eyes! My heart’s a flutter! *sighs*

    Seriously though, if I were part of the Challenges, I’d say they screwed themselves on future Challenges (which I guess is their lives), but part of me has doubts that other competitors will retain this information (not to trust either of them) from excessive alcohol consumption or plain ol’ stupidity.

  2. 2
    mo_knows
    Posted August 15, 2006 at 8:16 pm

    Wes looks like Scott Fargas

  3. 3
    GoldCrayon
    Posted August 15, 2006 at 8:24 pm

    I’ve secretly been rooting for Wes and Casey all Fresh Meat. Once he took out his own cast he gained my respect. No amount of stupidity from him could turn me away because he put out his own girlfriend.

    I also have a crush on Casey. Her eyes are just so beautiful how could you not be. Other than that she is really holding Wes back in challenges.

    I’d be pissed if my partner couldn’t carry 25 pounds for 5 miles too. It sounds like child’s play in these exiles.

    I don’t hope they win the grand prize but i still think it is pretty amazing how they’ve beaten everyone out of the exile and has made this season great.

  4. 4
    Bobbie
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 4:15 am

    What did I think of this episode? What do I think of this SHOW? I think it’s about time for Wes to be attacked by kangaroos as was promised lo so many months ago…

  5. 5
    Ubiquitous
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 5:34 am

    “Derrick kiss. Derrick SMASH!!!”

    Awwww, hee hee hee. Derrick’s such a cute little guy.

    What was Tina blabbering about at the begining about Kenny being “scuzzy on the outside”?

  6. 6
    Ubiquitous
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 5:37 am

    Oh yeah, what were the rules to this challenge? I was sure TJ said that the timer stopped once your head breaks the surface of the water but I clearly saw some people floating on top with their faces submerged.

  7. 7
    MissKatrina
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 6:51 am

    This show is finally interesting! Unfortunately, that pasty schmoo Wes is partly responsible for said interest.

    Poor, silly Diem. Classic case of “bad-boy-that-just-needs-my-love-to-fix-him”.
    Unless Diem’s love has anti-viral capabilities, homegirl is screwed.

  8. 8
    BonaFide
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 9:29 am

    I think Derrick and Diem have a cute little relationship. As for Tina and Kenny, I am POSITIVE theirs is strictly platonic! Kenny is superhot, and Tina is super fat, ghetto, stupid and annoying. He would never be interested in her, right?

    I’m glad that Wes and Casey have made it this far. They’ve overcome their physical and mental incapabilities and everyone’s dislike of them. Wes is still a douchebag, and he’s still on the weakest team of the Challenge, but I guess I’m just a sticker for underdogs!

    Poor Derrick! It seems that he wants to win this challenge so much for Diem that he is willing to sacrifice old friendships. He is sick with guilt in next week’s episode.

    The sad thing is that he most likely wanted one of the stronger teams gone despite his forged alliance and friendships, but unless Derrick wins next week’s challenge, that’s not going to happen. Tina and Wes have never won a challenge, and I don’t see them starting now. If Darrell or Theo wins, they’ll send in either Tina or Wes since Derrick is safe. Therefore, the chances are good that both Theo and Darrell will make it to the final challenge and Derrick would have sacrificed his friendships for nothing!

  9. 9
    RealityMonkey
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 10:58 am

    You see more cronyism in these challenges than in defense contract bidding and Ivy League admissions.

    That line made me spit out my soda. You’ve made a so-so challenge interesting, thanks.

  10. 10
    hardly@work
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 11:47 am

    I am starting to hope for a Wes Casey win, because that is what the rest of them were trying so hard to not let happen. Derrick and Diem–smart choice to send the strongest teams into exile, but theo and chandra could win immunity but d&D will still be safe.

    Sidenote; Diem has really long legs, I noticed when she was sitting on the curb.

  11. 11
    hollabackboy
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 12:02 pm

    smart move by Derrick, but I don’t know what he was so ashamed of. It’s only 5 teams left, and it wouldn’t be smart to keep the stronger teams around, whether they are friend or not. It’s how the game works.

    And I’m gonna be the one who sticks up for Tina, because she’s not that bad. Sure, she’s the loud, obnoxious type, but she doesn’t seem that bad. And not as overweight as people make her out to be. There are definitely women bigger than her.

  12. 12
    crazycg
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    I find Derrick extremely attractive! I think that Diem is a lucky girl, especially once he graduates from a 12 step program. I’m not quite understanding why his “friends” are getting angry that the pair sent them into exile. Isn’t that the point of the game? In response to the last comment posted Tina is a fat hog and everytime I hear her voice it makes me want to stick my finger in her left eye.

  13. 13
    zevonia
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 12:43 pm

    crazycg, I think the reason Theo and Darrel are angry with Derrick is because the three of them had an alliance. You don’t get rid of anyone in your alliance until you get rid of the other teams. While I agree that it’s a smart move strategy wise for this challenge (ie, Fresh Meat), Derrick needs to remember there will be other challenges (such as Fresh Meat 2, Gauntlet 3, etc). If he participates in another show this could bite him in the ass. Maybe Derrick thinks he’ll win this and won’t have to do any more MTV shows. But the way he drinks, he’ll go through the prize money faster than a thought goes through Wes’s head.

  14. 14
    zevonia
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 12:45 pm

    oops, I forgot. Thanks for the recap, J-Unit. Loved all the Derrick drunken ramblings.

  15. 15
    gasmgrrl
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 12:50 pm

    “Derrick kiss. Derrick SMASH!!!” Ubiquitous that’s hilarious!

    Sadly I have to hope for a Wes/Casey win now. they are the only interesting people left on the show and they do kinda deserve it… What is it? Five exile wins now.

    I have never understood why people on this blog talk about how fat Tina is ALL THE TIME. You might not like her loudness but she is NOT fat. I always assume that b/c this is an L.A. based blog peple just think that all women should look like Paula Walnuts. For shame Tvgasm posters.

  16. 16
    MTV_Tina
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 6:02 pm

    Great blog! Nice to see that I have alot of love on TvGasm. btw……Kenny and I kicked total butt on this challenge. haha

  17. 17
    GoldCrayon
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    Tina you have no love. We all think you are MADLY annoying.

    Why pick on the fresh meat?? I guess because you are part of the elite “alumni”

    Prolly isnt Tina anyway because that would mean she knows how to use a computer and is so full of her title as “MTV Tina” That she used that as her name.

  18. 18
    TakingBackSunday
    Posted August 16, 2006 at 8:41 pm

    erm.. why was darrel so mad at derrick .. derrick didnt send him into exile. i really didnt get that part. and also i dont think tina is as fat as people keep saying maybe compared to the other girls on the show but shes not a friggin hog.. although yes she is extremely annoying and her voice makes me cringe.

  19. 19
    Alikat
    Posted August 17, 2006 at 6:34 am

    Please don’t let Wes win..he is the most annoying person on the face of this earth. I was hoping that he really did get attacked by a kangaroo.

  20. 20
    babeblue
    Posted August 17, 2006 at 10:46 am

    DAMN b-side, that was cold (and hilarious)!

    #15, the reason they keep dogging tina out about her weight isn’t based on her size compared to the other girls, but on her vastly larger size compared to herself on the last show.

    chick blew up!

  21. 21
    babeblue
    Posted August 17, 2006 at 10:49 am

    part of my post didn’t show up. i was referring to:
    Hey, when you are in line for chemotherapy, the thought of herpes sores is not enough to hold you back from a long relationship.

  22. 22
    antebellum
    Posted August 17, 2006 at 2:34 pm

    It was so hard to take Derrick and Diem’s “romantic moment” near the end of the episode seriously. C’mon, he was so wasted he could barely keep his eyes open, and whatever semi-thoughts he had were completely nonsensical thanks to his slurring and mumbling. How sweet! Though, when Derrick’s sober, I actually do like him. Diem’s alright too.

    I am also ready to join Team Wes and Casey. I guess. I really hated Wes near the beginning/middle of the season, but this episode reminded me that he can be funny even if he is an idiot. Casey is funny as well. And if the final challenge is Exile-like, there’s a chance Wes and Casey will kick ass yet again. God, am I actually rooting for them?

  23. 23
    mouth
    Posted August 18, 2006 at 7:42 am

    Tina isn’t a hog, she’s just pleasantly plump. Darrel is a friggin idiot. That dumbass is still trying to vote Wes and Casey into the exile. He should know that he is a target, if not the main target. I never liked him. “He’s from the town?” What the hell town is he from that he thinks he’s so bad? He’s probably from the burbs.

    Well anyway, its nice to see everyone converting to the darkside and starting to root for Wes and Casey. If you don’t like them, well, at least they’re not fake like all the rest of the people that are on the show. They tell it how it is. Like when Wes said that if they vote him in exile everytime he will send all of them home and we can find out who the real friends are. He said that in either the 4th, or 6th episode. It looks like his words are ringing true!

  24. 24
    dockobay
    Posted August 19, 2006 at 1:20 am

    Of course Darrel is trying to vote in Wes and Casey, mouth. Who else can he vote in at this point? Himself?
    He can vote someone else in, all the while knowing he’s the target.
    And I, for one, will never “convert to the darkside” and root for tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber who merrily embraces ignorance (and rudeness) as a lifestyle.
    Just because Theo and the rest are calm, collected, loyal and mature does not make them fake. And lots of things Wes says are true (commenting on your Fresh Meat teammates isn’t exactly rocket science), that doesn’t make him any more “real” than anyone else.
    Frankly, I’m still mourning the loss of Coral and Evan. That fierce Canadian Adonis could saskatch my ewan any day. Have mercy.

  25. 25
    GoldCrayon
    Posted August 21, 2006 at 5:09 pm

    Geez, I barely cared about them leaving. They didn’t bring nearly as much to the show as Wes and Casey.

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