Gauntlet 3: Episode 4:

Well, it’s been a long week, but the wait is finally over. It’s time to reveal once and for all who is replacing Tyrie on the rookie team…

Justin Guarini?

We open on the back deck with an immediate T-Mobile Sidekick clue. Already? Jesus, help a girl out…t’s evening over there, you can’t scratch up a little preliminary drama for me first? No scandalous hook-ups, no idiotic commentary, no appalling forehead displays? Nothing? That’s okay, I’m sure there’s plenty of valuable comedic material for me amidst footage of people pushing cars through sand. I’ll just work with that.

Before the challenge, Tori, Janelle and Johanna are sitting around having a sweaty little chit chat about who they’d want to face in the gauntlet. Look at that, bright and early in the morning and they’ve already returned from a run, and hit their Under Armour quota for the day.

When the teams arrive for the first challenge TJ reveals that the rookies will get a replacement player and MJ does his run-in entrance. Turns out MJ has a “five and a half month year old baby at home.” Month years huh? I guess somebody hasn’t cracked open the How to Properly Describe Your Child’s Age book. Anyway, with a little baby at home, I can’t help but question wonder it’s sort of diskish to leave your newborn at home. Then MJ tells us he’s there to make some money for his family. Yeah, I still say you’re a dick.

This addition if MJ really boosts the rookies’ confidence. Ever the exaggerator (“Brooke has 70 pounds on Jill”) Nehemiah tells us it’s great to have MJ, because MJ is 6’6″ and 240 pounds. Don’t tell stories Nehmiah. You got MJ not a Philideplhia Eagle. Although I’m not gonna lie, at this point you could use one. Anyway, Nehemiah’s size standards are so off. I’d love to see him after a fishing trip.

Dude I caught a catfish the size of a Christmas Tree

Nehemiah’s not the only one excited about their new team member. Melinda tells us that MJ is a huge help, but if the rookies want to win this week, they have to go “all balls out.” “All balls to the wall.” I’m not up to date on my West Coast slang, but I’ve never heard this phrase before, I don’t think she got it quite right. Something about tall pretty blonde girls makes me doubt their West Coast slang too.

The challenge requires the teams to push cars to a finish line. There are more details, of course, but I’m so over typing out all the details of these challenges. It’s not like you need me to re-explain it to you. Your TV was on, you saw it.

The vets win the first challenge, and in the meantime, Melinda gets hit in the head with a board. She starts getting medical attention and that’s when Danny puts down his Myview Personal Mini-Viewer, picks her up and carries her to an ambulence. Aw. It’s no nice when illegal peformance enhancing substances finally give back.

AT the hospital, we come to learn that Melinda has suffered a concussion and a very serious condition called dehydration. I’ll give her the concussion thing, (even though the only actual Dr. we saw give that diagnosis was Dr. HGH), but dehydration? Come on. Give the girl a Poland Spring and call it a day. Suck it up Miss Priss. All balls to the wall.

underarmour sports bras- why is tori in red?

LATC necklace- diem. no incentive to win

replacement MJ 5 1/2 month year old

Janelle: only coming back stronger. Actually not coming back at all. saddest part is not winning.

Pic: tell me what you don’t about yourself.

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