I have the boobs of a woman twice Mark’s age
Thirteen teens on ecstasy! No, dammit, I have shit in my ears, it’s just those 13 teams of “exes” we’ve been watching. We start with 10 teams and end with 8, because Zito’s big dumb clumsy ass takes a spill by the pool, and he has to get stitches. A very stoned-looking TJ sends Team Z-cup home for medical reasons before the challenge even begins. Everyone reacts by gaping and covering their faces, as they do.
The challenge is dumb, that is to say, the players are super-dumb. Despite this shortcoming, it seems a bit cruel and unusual, even by Challenge standards, to launch them into the water so hard that Aneesa breaks her face, based on wrong answers to “knowledge”-based questions. She notes that she felt pieces of her teeth in her mouth and dayum, that’s some serious beauty-inhibiting crap right there. I’m thinking her waiver included something about her covering her own dental work. Owie on a physical and financial level.
Diem spells etiquette with a D! But seriously, TJoint, did anyone expect these people to be able to spell? Or know who banged Mick Jagger and Cher? You know what else Diem does? Talks about her cancer, and how she loved CT, but she just set him aside so they could go in different directions. And even though he inspires whole patrols dedicated to moisture, she just thought she’d waltz back into his life in five years or so and he’d be waiting. I guess that would be when her nonprofit association had netted her some serious prestige giving free crap to people who were ill. Actually, what would be cool is if it were an adult, adult Make-A-Wish. Has anyone done that yet?
In the B plot, Abram is sullen and sulky and likes to draw comic book art on t-shirts. He and Cara Maria go up against Leroy and Naomi for Busted Couple this week. Paula and Dunbar go against Rachel and the ghost of Aneesa’s teef for Power Couple. The Dome contains no Xs, but it does strap each couple together with a rubber band and force them to stretch that band really far. With the band stretched and wrapped around a pole, they basically have to mount each other as they grab onto another pole, 50-odd feet away from the first pole, and hold it for five seconds. It’s just one painful endeavor after another tonight, with no significant footage of the cast acting like dicks so we could feel better about enjoying their pain.
Should I be spoilering y’all here on who gets Domed and who gets Homed, and who finds out Power Couple is not all it’s cracked up to be? Has everyone seen the ep once they get here? Does anyone who hasn’t seen it want to be kept in suspense? Let me know in the comments. I aim to please. And like Diem, I am flexible!