Minicap: The Challenge

The Challenge

By CathodeTube | Thursday, February 9, 2012 | 12:49 am | 35 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: MiniCaps, Recaps, The Challenge, The Challenge

I have the boobs of a woman twice Mark’s age

Thirteen teens on ecstasy! No, dammit, I have shit in my ears, it’s just those 13 teams of “exes” we’ve been watching. We start with 10 teams and end with 8, because Zito’s big dumb clumsy ass takes a spill by the pool, and he has to get stitches. A very stoned-looking TJ sends Team Z-cup home for medical reasons before the challenge even begins. Everyone reacts by gaping and covering their faces, as they do.

The challenge is dumb, that is to say, the players are super-dumb. Despite this shortcoming, it seems a bit cruel and unusual, even by Challenge standards, to launch them into the water so hard that Aneesa breaks her face, based on wrong answers to “knowledge”-based questions. She notes that she felt pieces of her teeth in her mouth and dayum, that’s some serious beauty-inhibiting crap right there. I’m thinking her waiver included something about her covering her own dental work. Owie on a physical and financial level.

Diem spells etiquette with a D! But seriously, TJoint, did anyone expect these people to be able to spell? Or know who banged Mick Jagger and Cher? You know what else Diem does? Talks about her cancer, and how she loved CT, but she just set him aside so they could go in different directions. And even though he inspires whole patrols dedicated to moisture, she just thought she’d waltz back into his life in five years or so and he’d be waiting. I guess that would be when her nonprofit association had netted her some serious prestige giving free crap to people who were ill. Actually, what would be cool is if it were an adult, adult Make-A-Wish. Has anyone done that yet?

In the B plot, Abram is sullen and sulky and likes to draw comic book art on t-shirts. He and Cara Maria go up against Leroy and Naomi for Busted Couple this week. Paula and Dunbar go against Rachel and the ghost of Aneesa’s teef for Power Couple. The Dome contains no Xs, but it does strap each couple together with a rubber band and force them to stretch that band really far. With the band stretched and wrapped around a pole, they basically have to mount each other as they grab onto another pole, 50-odd feet away from the first pole, and hold it for five seconds. It’s just one painful endeavor after another tonight, with no significant footage of the cast acting like dicks so we could feel better about enjoying their pain.

Should I be spoilering y’all here on who gets Domed and who gets Homed, and who finds out Power Couple is not all it’s cracked up to be? Has everyone seen the ep once they get here? Does anyone who hasn’t seen it want to be kept in suspense? Let me know in the comments. I aim to please. And like Diem, I am flexible!

CathodeTube

CathodeTube has wanted to be a recapper ever since she read the MightyBigTV interview with Sars and James Van Der Beek. She lives in Chicago with her husband and baby son, and adores hip-hop, cop shows, competitive reality TV, and all foods involving melted cheese. She used to copyedit made-up blogs for the "reputation management" of people who got themselves on The Dirty or Mugshots.com. Turns out google-bombing doesn't work anymore, so now she writes product copy, is much happier, and still wears stretchy pants at all times.

35 Comments

  1. 1
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 6:37 am

    Gasmii! Let me know when you’re awake so we can reinact this “Smooth Move Zito” situation.

  2. 2
    Lisa
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 6:45 am

    I can’t believe how …..what’s the word I’m looking for….., non useful? C.T. is now that Diem is by his side. My goodness, he has gone from bad ass to just plain bad.

  3. 3
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 6:46 am

    OMG! I thought TJ looked super stoned throughout the episode too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. 4
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 6:59 am

    Yes, Diem is bringing down CT. I don’t know why, but she annoys the crap out of me. If she wants to be w/ CT, then she should just tell him instead of talking to everyone in the freaking house about it.

    Cathode – I feel like the Mini-Cap is fair grounds for spoilers, but until everyone weighs in, I’ll just say I was sad to see one half of that team eliminated.

  5. 5
    Liz
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 7:18 am

    Ugh, I am just tired of Diem rehashing the whole relationship every episode. Is she being egged on by producers to do that? I guess I can understand things coming up by having to see him all the time again, but this tour of her telling everyone the saga of “Diem being fixed by CT and then dumping him” is bizarre.

  6. 6
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 7:47 am

    @plockednessmonster: TJ is still working his way back from that head wound. He can now poop without the aid of a machine, but mental focus is still a challenge. (Especially considering that mental focus wasn’t one of his great strengths BEFORE the accident.)

  7. 7
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 7:54 am

    I think spoliers are fair game. Count me in. I also thought TJ’s head is unfortunately mishapen! He tipifies a greasy skater boy.

    And um Bananas, ya dumb bitch, GTFO of the way, you’re blocking my view of a shirtless CT. Diem may be pathetic but, this epi was full of shirtless Mark, CT and Leroy! I am bronzing my MP card.

    Does anyone else want Houston to leave as much as I do? Christ! I’d take Jen over this twit at this point.

    AND, I’M BACK! (you were right Plock, I just needed time let them get their hooks in me)

    You know Zach SO wishes he broke up with ASSley before this Challenge. And, Hair with his Hairdryer for that matter.

  8. 8
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Notwithoutmytv – I remember that TJ got in a pretty bad accident, just didn’t think the doctor would prescribe CA’s finest hydro to help him recover.

    Gyp – Welcome back to the entertaining trainwreck!!!! But I would take hoodrat Houston over Jen any day!!!!!!

  9. 9
    Z
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 9:48 am

    if i’d heard diem say “hunnred percent” ONE MORE TIME i would have chucked my tv out the window. WE GET IT.

    ps: nice yellow scrunchie

  10. 10
    sardini
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Ha! The scrunchie! It reminded me of the Sex and the City episode where Carrie said Berger’s book was unrealistic because the main character was wearing a scrunchie. I can’t stand Diem’s blabbing mouth and self-righteous perfect pants attitude. I wish Dave was on this challenge instead of CT. Remember Dave? “Kiiiiiiiiirrrraaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!”

  11. 11
    AuroraB
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 10:43 am

    …SPOILERS PLEASE!!!

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 10:57 am

    Dave from the Seattle season? If so, he’s another hometown hero…and I def ain’t getting into that shitstorm.

    Why do I live where the RW cast memebers come to retire? *SMF at corporate America* Why can’t I just let go and be a realy gypsy dammit?

  13. 13
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 11:16 am

    OMG! Dave from Seattle! Wasn’t he doing an employee of MTV/RW?? And that was the Stephen/Irene showdown with the stuffed animal in the river (?)!!!

  14. 14
    sardini
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Yes, David and CT were friends from growing up. And he dated someone in Production, I think. He was in the car screaming, “YOU WANT REAL?? THIS IS THE REALEST THING YOU’LL EVER SEE!!!” He was on a challenge a few years ago, too.

  15. 15
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    Love that I can rem. all of this random shit about people on the RW, yet I can never rem. ANYTHING that has to do with math.

  16. 16
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Plock you’d really take Houston over Jen? That little twit had me so heated! Dropping knowledge like she’s been there more than a minute in her interviews. Oooooo eeeeeee! I was literaly telling my TV to shut up! LOL, for some reason that betch bothers me. Getting right up there with Bananas. And that’s intense!

  17. 17
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Yeah…I guess the way you feel about Houston is the way I feel about Jen. I know Jen has more challenge experience, but she thinks she’s the bees knees. You can just tell she is in love with herself. I also thought it was fucked up the way she treated Adam. He seems like such a nice guy and at the end of the last challenge she just acted like such a high schooler…she denied so much about her and Adam’s relationship and it was all caught on film. And she continued to deny.

  18. 18
    Tadow
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    spoilers are fair in the minicap :)

  19. 19
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    I just want to know one thing – What the fuck is wrong with Abram?

  20. 20
    Casey
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    spoilers don’t bother me in the mini-cap, although it is fun to see you ‘gasm writers try to do a minicap without spoiling!

    I fell asleep last night so I was kind of looking for a spoiler today. I guess because my life is SO empty I can’t even wait to get home to catch the dvr of the episode to figure it out myself. I’m so lame.

  21. 21
    Robin Robinez
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    The only problem that I have with spoilers is when they show up on the front page.

    I figure it is up to the recapper to decide whether they want to post spoilers in their recaps. And I think that if you haven’t seen the episode yet, it is your own fault if you read a spoiler in a recap that you opened.

    BUT! I don’t think that spoilers should show up on the front page. It is unfair to those that haven’t seen the episode and have avoided the recap, only to click on the homepage and see “Can You Believe That Joe Won Last Night?”!, in the comments, especially hrs after the show aired.

    There is a simple soulution to this, if folks would just not post a spoiler in the first couple sentances of their comment then it won’t show up on the front page.

    Robin

  22. 22
    CathodeTube CathodeTube
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    Awesome, thanks guys! I shall spoil the hell out of youze next week, after the first few lines.

  23. 23
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    Well, I see that I’m in the minority, but count me as someone who doesn’t want spoilers in the mini-cap. I view the mini-cap serves as a small summary/taste of what was in the episode….. I believe that gives most of the Gasmii time to watch the episode by the time the recap has been posted.

  24. 24
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 10, 2012 at 7:08 am

    @Enrique’s Mole, Cara Maria is what’s wrong, LOL

    @ Plock. I concur with everything you said. And you’re right she is full of herself. I guess it’s a case of the devil you know vs. the devil you don’t. I keep having visions that Jasmine is going to turn into a monster. Also, though I know I am older than most of the cast I do not appreciate being ‘schooled’ in a confessional by someone who looks like they are 11. It irks me, I don’t know why but it does so much, LOL. It’s pretty ridic when I think about it.

  25. 25
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 10, 2012 at 7:32 am

    OMG, Enrique. I was wondering the same thing about Abram. He has gone from a preppy, outdoorsey guy to a tribal loving, tatted up philosopher (I use that loosely). And he seems like kind of a dick now.

  26. 26
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted February 10, 2012 at 7:38 am

    Abram’s going Gary Busey on us.

  27. 27
    sardini
    Posted February 10, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Do you guys not remember the Abram of Yore?? He has always been a whack job!! I have a vision of Native warriors somewhere (I think New Zealand? During his season?). They were doing some war chant, and he was getting in their faces, doing it right along with them. The kid never has been quite right.

  28. 28
    dazzyfresh
    Posted February 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Yea Abram has always been a little off, they just hit it well. I guess TJ got into his med supply because he’s currently wackadoodle, and Cara Ave Maria doesnt really help the bat train situation. Spoilers are more than welcome, I was upset about the crew sent home too…dang it!

  29. 29
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted February 12, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Sadly, I’m old enough to remember Abram’s first season (on Road Rules: South Pacific). Hell, I remember Mark and Kit from season 1! Anywho, I know the kid has always been a whack job, who was constantly on the edge. However, recently he seems to have jumped off the ledge and is wading around in crazy. Shitty tattoos that look like a kid munched a crayola crayon and puked on his hands, scar tattoos on his chest, poop flinging, mopey philosophizing… I prefer the angry youth, who punched first and kicked ass at challenges.

  30. 30
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    OMG, Enrique!! I was wondering what was up w/ the giant scar on Abram’s cheast. It’s a tat??

  31. 31
    jerseyj
    Posted February 14, 2012 at 6:58 am

    @plock, I think it’s a brand. He not only tats himself, but also purposely mutilates himself in other ways. It’s “artistic”. NOT.

  32. 32
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 14, 2012 at 7:52 am

    What’s up with the finger tatts? And the full recap????

  33. 33
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 14, 2012 at 8:11 am

    I do not mind tats, but all I can think when I look at him is, “How the hell is he going to get a job?”

  34. 34
    plockeness monster
    Posted February 14, 2012 at 8:12 am

    Yes, I realize how rediculous that just sounded…job? Real World cast member?

  35. 35
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted February 14, 2012 at 8:37 am

    People like that rarely end up working in an office environment, anyway. If he winds up doing anything besides watch TV and smoke pot at a professional level, he’ll market his own extreme energy drink or shill super-performance condoms. Or niche porn. THAT option is never far away for this class of celebrity.

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