Recap: The Duel: Take A Swing At It!

The Challenge

By B-Side | Thursday, November 16, 2006 | 10:00 pm | 33 Comments

swing111606 I’ve made no secret about how much I’m enjoying the latest incarnation of The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, but that being said, this week’s episode was fairly humdrum. It wasn’t necessarily boring. It was just average. Routine. Predictable. I literally just finished watching it ten minutes ago, and I can barely remember what happened. If there’s anything this franchise suffers from, it’s a complete and total lack of spontaneity, and nothing showcased these flaws more than this installment.This week’s show started off with Brad and CT discussing the psychological toll of sticking a bunch of nitwits — I mean, friends — in a house and making them compete for money and prizes. Such an environment was unhealthy, Bradley asserted, ultimately concluding, “All this drama’s about to hit the fan.” Amazing, I always thought it was just shit hitting the fan. Who knew an intangible concept could hit a fan too!

We then cut to Wes who was reclining on a bed shirtless, which meant we got to see his pale nipple all up close and personal. And by “personal,” I mean “I wanted to throw up in the nearest receptacle.” Anyway, he was talking to Evan about how people were gunning for him and whatnot, and poor Evan looked like his already thin hair was about to fall out. He complained that this whole game had made him insufferably paranoid, to the point where he feared he wouldn’t be able to enter the normal world again because he will have been so bonkers. Psssht. Canadians. So weak.

Elsewhere in the compound, Beth’s T-Mobile Sidekick III chirped happily. She then proudly announced that a new clue had arrived, causing an astounded Brad to say, “NO!!!!!” I had to agree: it was totally, absolutely SHOCKING! A clue??? At night??? On a Sidekick??? Who would have ever thought?

Well, this clue said something about the kids taking a rough flight, causing Nehemiah to surmise that maybe they’d all be… dragged by a helicopter? Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly what it is. And since it’s so obvious how much money goes into these challenges, I’m sure production was able to pony up for a random chopper.

Later on, Nehemiah wandered into Beth’s room and pretended to break up with her. She joked as he went through all the clichés (“It’s not you, it’s me”), but at one point, he mentioned, “We can still have sex.” Joke or no joke, this placed a very visual, very disgusting image in my head, and I did not appreciate it at all.

The next day, the boys and girls paired up into teams, and then TJ revealed the next challenge: they’d have to take a ride on a “Russian swing,” which was basically a two person swing contraption. One teammate would rock the swing and use the momentum to launch the other teammate, who would then go flying through the air and land in the ocean below. That person would then have to swim down a lane, retrieve a soccer ball, and then swim back the other way and dunk the ball in a ring. If at any time the ball fell out of the lane, the team would be disqualified. Sounded simple enough. And completely uninteresting, but that’s besides the point.

First up were Wes and Svetlana, and as they stepped onto their Russian swing, Wes complained to us, “None of us have been on a Russian swing before.” Um, helllo. Svetlana’s clearly been on a Russian swing. She’s Russian! All Russian people use Russian swings! Duh!

Okay, who knows if Svetty had ever been on a Russian swing. Point was that this was the producers’ lame attempt at creating some sort of a dramatic hook to take us into the commercial break. Needless to say, it didn’t work. We weren’t left wondering whether or not Wes and Svetlana would be able to persevere over the dangerous threat that was THE RUSSIAN SWING. However, we needed to have a commercial break sometime, and why break tradition? Place one right before the first person attempts the challenge!

Well, sure enough, after the commercial break, Wes proved that no Russian swing could keep him down. He launched into the water with ease and swam pretty damn fast, which we’d expect considering he was a swimmer in his meat-head youth. As for Svetlana, she was okay. Her dive into the water wasn’t nearly as graceful as Wes’s. Hers was more of a general flailing and a splash. Nevertheless, she swam her heart out, and after she was done, Aneesa and Nehemiah took to the Russian swing. Neh was pretty solid with his heat, but Aneesa, well, she could have used some work. First off, she full-on belly-flopped into the water. Then, just as she was ready to dunk the ball into the ring, she messed up, the ball rolled over the edge and out of the lane. DQ. And no, I’m not talking about Dairy Queen.

CT and Diem were next, and off the bat, CT looked like he was swimming like a beast. That’s not to say he was fast or good or anything like that. He just looked like he was assaulting the water with each passing stroke. Diem, meanwhile, had to take her wig off, but unlike last time, she was way more comfortable — something she credited CT with making her feel. It made sense. How could anyone feel embarrassed for their hair standing next to CT? He then told us, “I’m intrigued by [blatant audio cut] Diem.” To be fair, CT’s also intrigued by balls of yarn and Swedish fish, so it’s really not such a big thing.

Beth and Eric took to the swing next, and as you can imagine, Beth had the daunting job of “launching” Big E. She was confident she could success, however, because she had self-professed strong legs and “I’m pretty good at pumping.” I’m sure Nehemiah would know. Rimshot! Anyway, their turn went without incident (minus Beth nearly missing the lane on her jump). Next up were Evan and Kina, and even though Wes was the one with all the swimming under his belt, it was Evan who seemed to speed through his heat the fastest. The guy was a machine! But would Kina let him down? He told us, “Kina makes me nervous because she’s a lot of talk.” He then added, “She’s also a lot of tan, a lot of blue eye shadow, and just a lot of annoying.”

Well, Kina did fine, and next were Derrick and Jodi. As usual, Derrick tried to be superman and rushed his way through the challenge, but he was a tad too hasty and managed to roll the ball out of bounds. Ha! Disqualified! Again! Idiot.

Looks like somebody’s had one too many beers…

Last to go were Brad and Robin, the latter of whom executed the best belly flop of the day. Luckily, her breasts surely cushioned the fall, and Robin finished her heat without incident, pretty much like everyone else.

So who was the winner? None other than Evan and Kina! He won immunity from the Duel; she won… a digital projector. Yes, I’m sure she’ll use that often when she watches instructional videos for bronzer and eyeshadow and whatnot.

Finally, it was time for the Pick ‘Em. Evan chose Kina, who chose Derrick, who chose Jodi, who chose Brad, who chose Robin, who chose CT, who chose Diem. This was a mild shock considering how CT refused to select Diem last week on account of her sexual stinginess. I guess maybe she’s since let CT explore the inner regions of her womanhood now. Anyhoo, Diem then picked Wes, which pissed off Eric because he assumed she’d pick him, but if there’s anything he should know by now, it’s that underneath that wig on that twinkly smile, Diem’s a hardcore backstabber. Just ask her old friends Linnette and Aviv.

Well, Wes chose Beth, and she then had the pick of the last guys: Nehemiah or Eric. Hmm… who would she save? Sure enough, she selected Nehemiah, which meant Big E was going into the Duel. Ah, but who would he drag down with him? Time for another commercial!

After the break, Eric chose Nehemiah to join him in the Duel. He reasoned that he could probably beat him, on account of him being “80% BS, 20% show-up.” — as opposed to Eric, who was only 20% BS and, of course, 80% McRib.

Must… wear… Towel of Melodrama…

Anyway, we then went into the Duel where the two guys had to square off in the bluffing bonanza: “I Can.” For those of you who missed the season premiere, in “I Can,” each player claims to be able to lift a certain amount of objects, slowly raising the numbers until someone calls the other person’s bluff. Then, if that person can’t lift those objects for five seconds, that person goes home. Otherwise, the other person goes home. It’s really quite simple, but I’ve managed to make it sound extremely convoluted (the fact that I’ve had three beers since the beginning of this paragraph may have something to do with that).

Well, for this Duel, Eric and Nehemiah had to guess how many logs they could each lift. After Neh stepped into game mode (which included lots of histrionic stretching, bouncing, and scowling), the competition began. Eric claimed he could lift eighty logs, but Nehemiah topped him with eighty-five. And so began a ritual that surely Count Von Count would appreciate.

Eight-six, replied Eric.

Eighty-eight, said Nehemiah.

Eighty-nine!

Ninety-one!

Ninety-two!

Ninety-three!

Ninety-four!

Ninety-five!

Ninety-six!

Okay, you get the point. The numbers went higher and higher until finally, Eric asserted he could lift 165 logs. Turns out that was the limit, on account of there only being 165 logs available. Nehemiah wanted to raise him a few more times, but alas, his hopes were dashed by the meager log supply.

So could Eric lift 165 logs? Yeah, pretty much. The big guy raised the logs up, and even though he seemed pained, he managed to last five whole seconds. In the crowd, we then saw Kina counting along as she loudly yelled, “FOUR!!! FIVE!!!!” I don’t think she’s shown that sort of enthusiasm since the last time she heard there was a sale on bronzer AND blue eyeshadow at CVS.

“I AM AN IDIOT!!!!”

Well, because Eric had successfully lived up to his bluff, Nehemiah had to sadly go home. I was unhappy to see a member of the underdog alliance go home, and also sad because truthfully, I like Nehemiah. Oh well. C’est la vie. Afterwards, Wes lamented that his boy was going home, and as Neh packed up, he told Beth that there was no girl that could beat her in the Duel. Well, no girl except all of them. But I guess we’ll see how it works out.

What did you think about this episode?

Comments (33)
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33 Comments

1

gretcheepoo

Posted November 17, 2006 at 12:35 am

Loved the “80% McRib” B-Side!

Does anyone else think it sucks that MTV kind of changed the rules? They never said there was a 165 limit and Nehemiah didn’t have the option to lift because Eric said it first. I call Shenanigans!
2

Ubiquitous

Posted November 17, 2006 at 4:07 am

OK, enough with that damned “towel of gravitas” already! Grrrr!

What the hell was Evan babbling on about with Wes? “I don’t think I can function in the real world because they’re making me paranoid!!”? This is the RW/RR Challenge, not the Vietnam war, Evan! Sheesh!

How lame is it that they ran out of Lincoln Logsâ„¢ during the “I Can” challenge? Not nearly as lame as Eric having no trouble lifting 160 of them.

CancerGirl’s trials and tribulations are beyond tedious. At least we were spared yet another flashback to the first time she had to remove her cheap wig.
3

addicted

Posted November 17, 2006 at 5:04 am

I am not a huge Nehemiah fan or anything, but I think it was really unfair that they ran out of logs. It was completely luck that he was the last one able to guess, I can’t believe there was no argument about this.
4

goldie88

Posted November 17, 2006 at 5:55 am

I loved how Robin mentioned how graceful Beth went into the water when she did the most nastiest and ungraceful belly flop. cough cough, i smell a hypocrite, but of course everyone in that alliance is a hypocrite.

I was really sad to see Nehemia go home, whose going to make Beth gush an unnormal color now?

Next weeks episode looks good, too. I hope Svetlana doesn’t go home though!
5

Barfly

Posted November 17, 2006 at 6:34 am

The Duel was total crap. So Nehemiah goes home because they didn’t bring enough logs? I can’t believe he didn’t fight that.

I can only hope Beth takes on Kina in a little pole wrestling next week & flings Kina off into the stratosphere. I used to work in the beauty industry, and that girl is an insult to make-up artists everywhere.

I also laughed out loud when Robin flopped it into the water after her comments about Beth. Looks like someone mocked too soon. I used to somewhat like Robin, but now she’s getting under my skin. Must be the Kina influence.
6

CDob

Posted November 17, 2006 at 6:53 am

I can’t STAND Kina and the screencaps of her looking like an ass really make my day. Anyway this is also the episode that endeared Beth to me forever. Not sure why. I think it might be because she actually gets more human as the challenge progresses and Kina just becomes more demonic.
7

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted November 17, 2006 at 7:33 am

Hate Kina.

Hate Diem. Hate Diem’s Wig. Hate Hearing about Diem’s Cancer.

Jodi is built like a man. She looks more manly than Derrick.

Robin is a floozy.

I think Svetlana rocks, especially because you KNOW Tyler is still seething about getting booted early.
8

Ubiquitous

Posted November 17, 2006 at 7:49 am

I also laughed out loud when Robin flopped it into the water after her comments about Beth. Looks like someone mocked too soon.

Weren’t Robin’s comments taped in a post-challenge interview?
9

sarah

Posted November 17, 2006 at 7:55 am

As annoying as Beth is I like her a hell of a lot more than the “Mean Girls”. Kina is so goddman annoying.

I wonder what happens next week with poor Svetlana?!
10

CDob

Posted November 17, 2006 at 8:46 am

Actually, I have to say, I don’t like Diem either. She is totally coasting on he illness. MTV is funding her “charity.”

Not to mention the melodrama- like a trashy TV game show is some sort of life-affirming experience for her.
11

Pamsey

Posted November 17, 2006 at 8:47 am

OK, I gotta say it, Kina ditched the powder blue eye shadow on this episode, and she actually looked a lot better. I still can’t stand her but I hope this signals the end of the powder blue.
12

silentfire

Posted November 17, 2006 at 9:06 am

I cant believe neha didnt complain about the 165 limit. That was immensely stupid by the crew or whoever thought of the duel. They never once said that there was a limit to the logs, Im sure if they did it would at least give neha a chance.

I laughed at Beth, Aneesa and Robins dive. But Robin looked hot in one of her interviews.

Next week episode looks good with brad and svetty fighting. Wonder what thats about
13

JohnEDowney

Posted November 17, 2006 at 10:15 am

I love the guy, but seeing that screencap of Derrick’s beer belly made me laugh my ass off.
14

Leah3t

Posted November 17, 2006 at 10:33 am

not a lover of nehamiah (in the beth sense or the tv watching sense) but that was unfair that they ran out. they should have warned them like, at 155 so they could be smart about who called the bluff last.

i think Diem’s story is inspiring but her backstabbing is so weird. she never seems to have any principled reason for why she does it, she just randomly screws people then cries when the screwed get mad at her.

svetlana is more of a trooper than i ever expected.
15

JohnEDowney

Posted November 17, 2006 at 11:56 am

I’m with everyone on the log thing. First, how did they come up with the random number of 165? Maybe it’s just me, but stopping on a multiple of ten would have made more sense. It would have at least made it look more thought out. Second, why make the number of available logs that low? You’re dealing with the dumbest guys on television here. They would have gone up to 300 if you let them. (I would’ve loved to have seen Nehemiah try THAT.) Third, why warn them that the limit was 165 when they had just reached it? I’m hoping that the part where they were told what the maximum number of logs was was edited out, but again, we’re dealing with idiots here, and idiots need a lot of help with anything concerning numbers (groupie drawer notwithstanding).

And DID Nehemiah have sex with Beth? I’m pretty sure that they did, but until I hear one of them say “Yeah, we did it” (or they get a lot of shit at the reunion show), I’m not completely sure.
16

JerseyGirl

Posted November 17, 2006 at 12:33 pm

I agree with everyone that the 165 limit is ridiculous. If Eric knew in the beginning that he could lift all of them he could just say 165, know Nehemiah couldn’t do anything about it, lift them and then be done. It doesn’t give the other person a fair chance. I think if it gets to the limit and the other person doesn’t want to call him on it they should both have to lift them and see who can go the longest.

That whole 80% BS comment was stupid. What is he talking about? Nehemiah kicked Kenny’s ass in the last duel so that’s pretty much 100% show-up, IDIOT.

I agree with Neh, Beth could kick all those girls ass if she actually tried. Their bodies really only look that good because of their age, besides that they’re all pretty lazy. Beth looks like she at least does something to keep in shape.
17

raggedy_andy

Posted November 17, 2006 at 2:11 pm

I wouldn’t be surprised if they cut any possible log limit complaints out. To be fair, they should’ve known there was a limit to logs based on the hard-to-miss pile of logs that were there, but I know I shouldn’t expect them to figure something out that’s right in front of their faces. Besides, they should know that MTVs log budget was cut short due to all the Seiko watches, golf clubs, pool noodles, and poles they had to splurge on.

On the odd number, maybe 165 logs approximately weighs an even number of pounds (or kilograms). *shrug* It’s not like Big E got off scot-free either way (though, from a spectators view, 5 seconds does seem rather short… :-/).

“I Can” is flawed regardless of the limit. It’d definitely be better if both had to lift and see who lasted the longest or if they had to bluff on the amount of time they had to lift, as well.

Oh, well. It’s like I said, the guys in that little alliance of theirs aren’t as safe as the girls because the girls have more of a physical advantage.

JerseyGirl (#16), I’m not trying to hate on Nehemiah or say the Eric was right, but Nehemiah didn’t so much kick Kenny’s ass as he just won; they were playing Ascender, not Pole Wrestling or anything like that. Besides, I don’t think Nehemiah has really stood out in any of the Challenges, so he was probably Eric’s safest bet.

I laughed when Robin flopped after her comment about Beth, too. However, I think the comment about Beth’s dive not being graceful and the “some people should remain on the ground” were different, so it might have just been the editing team (she might have been talking about herself). I also noticed Derrick’s gross gut shot when I was watching it (Jodi looks morbidly curious about it in the picture lol).

How could anyone feel embarrassed for their hair standing next to CT?

Loved that!
18

mom_to_travis

Posted November 17, 2006 at 2:25 pm

Ok, I can’t believe there was neither a mention nor a screen-shot of Kina maniacly flailing her head against Evan’s arm after they won!! WTF was that retard doing?!?

Was Diem wearing some kind of white eyeshadow underneath her eyes in her interviews? She needs to stop that.
19

MissKatrina

Posted November 17, 2006 at 2:30 pm

Mom_to_Travis, you are speaking my language! Kina is nuts. The other thing that cracked me up about her was that post-flail, when she hugged Evan, her skin looked like an NBA-regulation basketball compared to his! I think she’s a little too Mystic and he’s a little too pasty. He and Wes should have a “pale-off”; now THAT would be a close contest!
20

BonerMan

Posted November 17, 2006 at 2:34 pm

–spoiler removed—

[ed note: DON'T POST SPOILERS!!!]

1. Beth Stolarczyk is an idiot with big cheekbones. To be precise she is 37 years old, just look on her website or myspace.

2. Kina Dean is annoying with weird facial expressions.

3. Casey Cooper is fuckin sexy but has no brains, also she is Camerans (RW San Diego) twin or little sister.

4. Wes Bergmann is a tool

5. chris tamberello(CT) needs to cut his hair and loose that phony accent.

6. nehemiah clark is my nigga.
21

antebellum

Posted November 17, 2006 at 3:03 pm

A whole episode dedicated to making Kina happy. Which, by nature, makes it EVIL. Wtf is up with that girl? I agree with Travis and Katrina, she seemed absolutely manic after they won, kind of wheezing and whimpering–which I guess you could call her excited laughter. And then her rooting for Eric. God, Kina sucks.

This is really mean, but I truly enjoy watching Derrick fail. It’s happened two episodes in a row now! I guess because he always has a lot of talk, but he can usually back it up. So it’s great when he doesn’t.

Not a big fan of Nehemiah, but I wish Eric had gone the hell home. He bugs me and seriously, I Can is the worst-planned Duel possible. If it had been Ascender or anything else, Neh would have kicked ass. I Can also sent Mr. Bananas home, which also makes it EVIL.
22

shiaobundan

Posted November 17, 2006 at 3:20 pm

Bahh.
I hate MTV.
The promos last week had me thinking Neh had really dumped Beth’s blotchy face.

At least one of them is gone. I never want to hear Beth say “my tenderoni” again.

Beth seems to really get off easy in these recaps. People like Kina are pretty annoying, but Beth is more obnoxious. Everything she does on the show is annoying, from her little “cat scratch” in the show’s intro (did any other cast member feel the need to do something ridiculous like that).. to when she does that little “evil laugh” when she thinks she’s clever…

And Beth did more than just nearly miss her lane. She literally did a “dive” if you could call it that on all fours and pretty much just plopped her fat ass into the water. She is so pathetic.
23

anniedawg25

Posted November 17, 2006 at 4:53 pm

damn it, I missed the ep—but thanks to the recap, and everyone’s comments I feel up-to-date. Not to mention the show is usually 75% crap and 25% actual entertainment there wasn’t much to it! HA HA

THOUGHTS:

1. WTF was up with that log challenge? That was PURE CRAP. If the limit was 165, they should have aksed Neamiah if he wanted to match 165. Then he and Eric could have had a log-off (ha) and see who could hold that amount of logs for the longest time….not just allowing ONE of them to compete for a WHOPPING 5 seconds. The producers (or whoever) seriously f-ed this up.

2. Derek’s beer belly…ha! looks like that bodyglove was a littttle too tight for him.

3. I will have nightmarish flashbacks of Wes’ nipple everytime I look at a peice of canadian bacon. (((shudders)))
24

IJustWatch

Posted November 17, 2006 at 5:25 pm

We have to give Kina credit. She finally used “myself” properly, as in, “I’m proud of myself.” I feared for a second that she would say, “I’m proud of I.” I think then, then we would have to deduce that she is, in fact, retarded.
25

Junzilla

Posted November 17, 2006 at 9:12 pm

I love the Kina screencap. That made me spit out my Diet Pepsi, along with the, “I don’t think she’s shown that sort of enthusiasm since the last time she heard there was a sale on bronzer AND blue eyeshadow at CVS.” quote. Great recap B-Side.
26

Ubiquitous

Posted November 20, 2006 at 7:14 am

I like the concept of the “I Can” challenge, but the execution is lacking. For one thing, those were pretty small logs and another thing, they’re not really lifting the entire weight of those logs. Perhaps they should use something a little more heavy like bowling balls or the other cast members…
27

JohnGalt

Posted November 20, 2006 at 7:41 am

Let’s not forget one simple fact about the “I can” challenge. Whatever it is that they are lifting has to fit into the cage contraption. Thus, the 165 was probably the number of logs they previously determined would fit.

They just need to start finding some items that are a lot denser. Sure watermelons are heavy, but they also take up a lot of space. Each log isn’t all that heavy, but you can obviously fit a lot more in that cage.

And yes, deadlifting anything on a wheelbarrow-like contraption means lifting only about the equivalent of 60% of the weight of the items. Especially lifting with the legs.
28

davidslade78

Posted November 20, 2006 at 11:06 am

Eric being 80% McRib is hysterical! He’s pretty beasty. And what’s the deal with Robin? Used to like her but maybe her boobs have blasted her in the head one too many times.

Will somebody PLEASE make Wes cry just once? He makes me sick. I would love for my girl Beth to spit in his ugly mug.
29

MissKatrina

Posted November 20, 2006 at 2:24 pm

Actually davidslade78 (#28) I don’t think I want to see Wes cry. I think I’d rather see him run over by a tractor-trailer. Driven by me.
30

BFF

Posted November 21, 2006 at 2:58 pm

If Neh was so interested in winning, he went first, why didn’t he just say “ALL OF THEM” .. makes since to me but then again so did all 3 Mission Impossible movies
31

Iluvslash

Posted November 23, 2006 at 8:40 pm

Yeah that was kind of unfair but then again after watching tonight’s episode I realized that the producers don’t really think these things through. Geez, I can’t wait for the recap to see what B-Side thought about it.
32

thatswhack

Posted November 26, 2006 at 9:09 pm

like OMG! you left out the part where kina was jamming her head into evan’s arm like a crazy person! i was waiting for some hilarious comment, but to my dismay, there was nothing.

but anyway, when i saw kina do that, i came to the conclusion that she is a monkey.
33

B_ran

Posted December 1, 2006 at 12:19 am

Did anyone else think that Neh looked like Theo from the Cosby show?