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Coming hot on the heels of Wednesday’s racially charged episode of The Real World, The Duel has now joined the current national dialogue about race relations in America. Granted, it didn’t really add much, and what it did add was handled rather obtusely, but still, charges of racism still emerged, and for a fleeting second, The Real World/Road Rules challenge nearly dared us to think for a second. But then the show just turned into a food fight and puke-fest, and all was right with the world again. Ahhh normalcy.This week’s show started off optimistically: the whole gang was partying at a club, taking over the spot like a drunk version of a cockroach infestation. The girls were dancing on a bar top (obligatory behavior for each of these Challenges), Eric was going nuts in the DJ booth for some reason, Wes and Evan were, um, grinding on each other (I don’t get it either). Basically, it was one big drunken romp, and I was kind of hoping it would end with someone yelling, “TURISTAS, GO HOME!!!” but alas, no such maniacal Brazilian was around to abduct these kids and systematically mutilate them in a creepy laboratory. Instead, the gang just continued to imbibe, and no one enjoyed Brazil’s spirits more than Robin, who was way-hay-sted.
“I’m drunk as a fuckin’ skunk!” she alerted the bar, possibly on the prowl for another marine to assault. Well, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Robin at her drunken best, and we’d almost forgotten that she’s kind of a, you know, BEAST. Luckily, this is “Let’s Get Wasted And Say Racist Things Week” on MTV, which meant that as soon as the kids got home, Robin said, “Aneesa, you confuse the fuck out of me!… Aneesa, if you’re gay, lesbian, straight, black, white, Puerto Rican, Portuguese — pick something!” Sadly, there was no video of this momentous statement — only audio (urgh) — but fear not. The fallout was all caught on tape. Just as you’d expect, Aneesa was furious.
“Get the fuck out of my face! You are a disgrace to women!!!” yelled Aneesa, the person whose indelible mark on womanhood has been peeing on camera and waltzing around her Real World house with no pants or undies.
Nevertheless, Aneesa followed up her rant by telling us, “I’m like ‘Oh heeeellllll no!!!’” Shocking. Positively shocking. Aneesa then cursed out Robin some more before waltzing away to another corner of the house. Witnessing this whole mess was Kina, who told us, “I have never in my life not known what to say!” She then added, “So I’ll do what I always do: say something idiotic instead.” Okay, she didn’t say that at all, but let me tell you, I certainly treasured that moment. It’s not often that we get to revel in the bliss that is a speechless Kina.
Of course, she wasn’t really speechless. She rhetorically asked us, “How on earth could you ever ever ever ever ever say that?” Yeah, um, I know what Robin said was insensitive, but after last night’s Real World and Michael Richards’ rant, I wouldn’t call this the most gasp-inducing moment in reality history.
To be honest, I had mixed feelings about the whole thing. On the one hand, Aneesa had every right to be pissed. She’s the child of a mixed marriage and probably has spent her whole life dealing with people trying to pigeonhole her every day. But then again, I’m not sure if Robin was intending to be racist or attempting to classify Aneesa, necessarily (although, her comments were said in a highly confrontational way). Sometimes it’s frustrating to deal with someone who selectively showboats any part of their personality as if it’s their defining feature (when it isn’t). Ugh. Chances are they’re both right and both wrong, but ultimately, Robin’s way of broaching the issue — especially knowing Aneesa’s volatile and idiotic disposition — was not the wisest move.
Ultimately, Aneesa wound up crying in a room, saying that because of her mixed heritage, she accepted everyone regardless of skin color or lifestyle choices. “You know,” she said, “you want to wear one blue sock, one red sock, I don’t care!” Well! It’s about time someone finally spoke up for the mixed sock population of America! Consider yourself empowered, multi-sockers!
Meanwhile, outside Brad was weighing in with his eye-bulging opinion of the situation: “I am very offended! Yes, I am!!!” That’s right. He ain’t scurred. Just offended. Yes, he is! Even worse, he now was stuck in the unenviable position of having to be allied with the girl who everyone pretty much hated at that moment. Oh brother!
Later on, Aneesa approached Robin to talk about the whole incident, but bitch wanted to sleep. Yeah, now’s a time when you should probably wake up. This understandably made Aneesa angrier, and while she didn’t reach Tyrie/Leeroy Jenkins levels, she certainly wasn’t about to calm down anytime soon. “There’s not enough sorries you could say to me!” Aneesa told Robin, which then had me wondering why she was even talking to her in the first place.
Robin then explained a little bit of where she was coming from, saying that every Challenge, Aneesa had different hair, different accents, different looks — as opposed to all the other girls who’ve never changed their hair color. Ever. But actually, I understood what Robin was getting at, especially when she noted that it’s hard to trust someone if you don’t really know where they’re coming from. Or something like that. I’m just shocked Robin hasn’t cornered Diem and asked, “What’s the deal? Every week you have like a different hairstyle. Are you wearing wigs or something? What are you trying to hide? Pick a style, BITCH!”
Anyway, the two girls bickered some more, and when Robin told Aneesa that she didn’t understand her sexuality, Aneesa barked back, “It’s not FOR you to understand! I don’t even understand it!” She then added, “All I know is that I love attention and will do whatever is necessary to get that attention so back off, BITCH!!!”
Okay, she didn’t say that, but we did cut to commercial, and when we returned, we found the gang outside a Pizzeria for this week’s challenge, titled “Dine-N-Dash.” Sounded promising for the ick factor. Tell us the deets, TJ!
Well, Svetlana and Diem were anointed captains (and by the way, let me reiterate again this week — I do hope Svetty’s tat is fake), and first they had to pick teams. As the lone boy who went unchosen, Wes got to sit out for this competition, which was good because now he could rest his body from the previous night’s Duel with Derrick. Yes, I agree. This was all immensely fascinating.
Anyway, once the teams were chosen, TJ then weighted everyone individually and tallied up a total weight for each team. The kiddos would then have twenty minutes to scarf down as much food as possible, and whichever team gained the most weight would then move onto phase two. For this second part of the challenge, the remaining players would all have to do wind sprints. Basically, they had to run up to poles and grab flags, and the first person to collect all ten flags from all ten posts would win. One catch — everyone had to take their first flag from the first pole. Why? I don’t know. But it was a rule so like whatevs, right?
Well, the winning girl would earn immunity from the Duel while the winning male would take home a full NHL package that had all sorts of stuff that really only Evan would like, on account of him being a hockey-playing Canuck. With all the rules and regulations out of the way, it was finally time to chow down. We soon cut to everyone stuffing their faces with Brazilian foods. Brad shoved slabs of steak into his mouth, Aneesa chugged some sort of mysterious red goo, and everyone else pretty much consumed whatever was in front of them. Surprisingly enough, amidst all this, Eric announced that this was a little difficult for him because “I’m a picky eater.” Yes, silly me. I should have realized he was a selective epicurean. Only the finest donuts and cheeseburgers for him!
Somewhere in the middle of all this, Evan and CT decided to engage in a miniature food fight, which delightfully rankled fellow teammate Kina, who complained to us, “This is not a food fight. This is not a joke!” Wow! Kina’s taking something super seriously! THIS IS GROUNDBREAKING!
Speaking of Kina, we then saw her chugging down water from a bottle; although, if we didn’t know any better, we’d think she was suckling from a cow teat. I never knew that much suction could be applied to a water bottle. Leave it to Kina to make even the simple act of drinking water annoying.
Well, the good news for Kina was that her team won phase one, which meant she, Diem, Robin, Evan, and CT would be battling it out in phase two. TJ blew the airhorn, and soon all the idiots were off to collect their flags. Amazingly, CT immediately bypassed the first pole (dude, it was the only rule) and charged for a different flag. He ultimately collected his flags the fastest, and after some casual barfing by Evan and Diem, it was time for the results.
CT came in first place, but because he overlooked that pesky pole rule, he was disqualified, meaning that Evan won his beloved NHL package after all. Hooray, eh!!! Meanwhile, Diem won the challenge for the girls, which meant she was immune from the Duel and was now burdened with the task of kicking off the pick’em.
Well, Diem chose CT (of course), and he picked Kina, who picked Evan, who picked Jodi, who picked Brad. I guess in the wake of all that had happened the night before, Aneesa just assumed she’d be picked first, and when she wasn’t, she asked us, “Are these the same people that had my back the other day?” Last time I checked, these people never had your back. You were in Beth’s alliance. Remember?
Anyway, it all came down to Brad. Who would he save? His possibly racist ally Robin or her sort of victim Aneesa?
No shock here. Brad picked Robin, despite the fact he had been very offended (Yes he was!) by her actions. Well, Robin picked Wes, who then saved Svetlana, which meant Aneesa was going into the Duel. Of course, she picked Robin to join her, and soon we were off to the chamber of insanity for another go-around with our old favorite event, the ever tangram-tastic ASCENDER!
I had no idea who would win this grudge match. Both women didn’t seem like the type that could ascend anything, and I wasn’t so sure how their tangram skillz were either. Nevertheless, the Duel began, and both girls labored their way up their ropes, at the top of which they were to release their puzzle pieces. This was no problem for Aneesa, but for whatever reason, Robin could not unhinge her basket of tangram hell. This gave Aneesa a huge lead, but then again, let’s not forget the lead Tyler squandered in his Ascender loss against Derrick. There’s always room for a comeback.
Anyway, after what felt like ages, Robin finally mastered the finer nuances of the carabiner and released her puzzle pieces. Soon both girls were frantically working on their tangram puzzle. Who would reign supreme? The winner… was… Aneesa! And just like that, Robin was sent home in a blaze of tears and regret. I’ll kind of miss her, but she wasn’t too integral to the season; so I think we’ll all be able to move on.
Meanwhile, Brad articulated his thoughts on losing his ally: “It’s affecting me, but I’m not letting it affect me.” Oh. Okay. That kind of makes no sense.
What did you think about this episode? What did you think about the fight? Which girl was in the right — if at all?