Sex and Violence

The Challenge

By B-Side | Tuesday, January 3, 2006 | 5:19 pm | 51 Comments
jodie_susiemark_rage

Another week, another nonsensical blowup by a muscle-clad pretty-boy on The Gauntlet 2. Yes, I thought nothing could top Danny’s flame out last week when his odyssey atop a human pyramid led to his eventual defeat, but ‘roid rages know no bounds, and Mark Long was happy to carry the torch that his young cast-mate so proudly lit. That’s right. Last night’s episode was chock-full of eye-poppin, bus-punchin’, faux-hawk splittin’ good times. It’s the reason we come back to this parade of silliness season after season. Well, that and the extraordinarily fascinating challenges.This week’s episode kicked off with the ominous sight of eager reality stars pouring out of a party bus like a sack of spilled marbles. Seasoned viewers of The Real World/Road Rules Challenge know that the opening club montage leads to either two things: romantic hijinx or Greco-Roman wrestling. Or — if you’re lucky — both. Sadly, all we seemed to get was a nasty close-up of Aneesa jiggling her ass. But wait! There was Jodie sitting at the bar all alone, looking sad and doubtful. What, pray tell, had caused this curious case of crestfallenness?

Turns out that Jodi used to date Mark Long (a pre-requisite for any aspiring Bunim/Murray star), but then after telling her that he loved her, Mark grew distant and unavailable. Yes, this perfect, three-week union was broken asunder as the mighty faux-hawk’d one ceased to call Jodi his fair lass. “I don’t want to date her anymore. She’s gotta just come to grips with that, I guess,” Mark told us. Seriously Jodi, you have to get it together. We all know that no woman can interlope between Mark and his pecs.

Actually, there is one woman who seems able to tame the wild manbeast that is Mark Long: Robin. I don’t know if it’s because of her sweet nature or her voluminous, magnetically-repelled breasts, but Mark’s gotta thing for Ms. R. You see, they too used to date. In fact, they dated before Jodi even came into the picture (viewers might remember the epic Tanya/Beth showdown caused by the this coupling). Turns out that since the whole Real World/Road Rules gang gathered in the island of Trinidad and Tobago, Mark’s been spending quite a bit of time with Robin. Might this be the triumphant return of Robinark (or Mobin)? Well, Jodi feared so, and the thought of it broke her heart, which was why she so mournfully sat at the bar, watching her man shirtlessly court Robin. I kind of felt badly for her. Those three-week romances can be tough to recover from.

Well, as the night progressed, Jodi became drunker, which inevitably led to tears and crying and the warm consolation of other women. “He is nothing. He doesn’t deserve you. You are everything a guy could want. Why are you letting him upset you?” Susie asked.

“I don’t know!” Jodi replied as she stumbled back in a drunken misstep of shame. Moments later, Susie explained the whole situation to us: “Jodi’s fragile. Jodi’s vulnerable.” And Jodi’s wasted and irrational. Let’s be real here. Nevertheless, Susie was a solid friend as she dispensed firm empowerment like “He sucks, you’re great. Period.” She then told us, “It’s a shame that somebody like Mark, who’s 5,000 years old, is breaking her heart.” Okay, Mark might be old, but to be fair, Eric Nies and Timmy are both about 12,000 years old; so it’s really not that bad.

Well, just when everything seemed to be calming down, the dependable Beth popped up to stir the pot. She immediately gossiped to Robin that Jodi was crying in the bathroom, saying that she’d had sex with Mark. “I know that. I already knew that,” Robin said. WELL! Don’t think you can diffuse Beth’s gossip-bomb that quickly. She needs to meddle, and MEDDLE SHE WILL! Beth then informed Robin that Jodi said that Mark said that he loved her (Jodi). Oh no he di’int! This pissed off Robin so much, her breasts almost opened up to a 180 degree angle. Beth, meanwhile, told us, “I’m not trying to be an intentional shit starter at all. I swear!” Yes, and that is evident by you INTENTIONALLY STARTING SHIT!

While Robin stewed, Jodi went from crushed flower to sistas-are-doin’-it-for-themselves, and with firm determination (and a middle-finger fully extended), she told us, “He really did tell me loved me, and I really believed it. I’m an idiot. Hey Mark, go f*ck yourself.” It’s always great to see someone go from sad-sack to empowered-sack.

Later, with everyone all boozed up and ready to have an orgy (I’m looking at you, MJ and Landon), the gang hopped back on the party bus where Robin decided to question Mark about the whole Jodi thing. “She’s crying. I don’t give a f*ck!” he yelled at Robin. Whoa whoa. Easy there. What’s with the anger? No one’s trying to shave your faux-hawk or anything. Nevertheless, when Robin then said how Jodi was crying about Mark saying he loved her, Mark retorted with really the most logical response anyone could expect: “NO! I HEAR YOU, YOU F*CKER!!” And because coherency is for losers, he continued, “No, I don’t want to hear it, dude! Deal with the FUTURE! And the present! Don’t deal with the past! It’s a waste of time, DUDE!” (No word on whether or not Mark’s informed on the gender associations of the word “dude.”)

Before any more of this insightful discourse could play out, Mark then transformed into the Incredible Hulk — except without the green skin or superhero powers. Okay, he basically just ‘roid raged. “You pop off. It really PISSES ME OFF!!” he yelled as he punched the bus’s overhead luggage bin. Take THAT, overhead luggage bin!! Articles have most definitely shifted and become awkward NOW!!

mark_punch
It’s really the shirt/scarf that makes this so threatening.

But no amount of extravagant bus punching could quell Mark’s fiery rage. “I need to get out! I need to GET OUT!!!!” he yelled, grabbing the camera and threatening to go all Luggage Bin on the lens. “OPEN THE DOOR, DRIVER!!!” he then yelled, then threatening to punch a hole in the side of the bus. This was so King Kong chic.

“It goes from Gauntlet 2 to the f*ckin’ Jerry Springer Show in 2.2 seconds,” Mark explained in an interview, almost as if he had merely been a bystander to the entire debacle. By the way Mark, I don’t know what show you’ve been watching, but it’s more like it went from Gauntlet 2 to, uh, Gauntlet 2. Maybe these people should all consider some group anger management. Or maybe they should just get REAL JOBS. (To be fair, Mark has a real job. I know because we have the same boss. Aaawwwkward.)

Well, Jamie called upon his experiences living with monks and calmed Mark down, and while tempers were soothed and blood alcohol levels lowered, Susie received a clue from the producers. “OH MY GASH, GUYS!” she yelled, honing her inner Godlewski. Susie prattled off the message on her T-Mobile Sidekick (I’m holding one up and smiling for the cameras as we speak), and then everyone retreated for the night. However, since this was a girls Gauntlet coming up, it meant that team captains Ruthie and Kina had to share a special moment to talk about the stresses of the Gauntlet and yada yada yada, Kina eventually told us that the Gauntlet “is one of the most difficult situation that I’ve ever been in in my whole life.” Yeah, true that. Climbing up a cargo net for a flag — that’s like worse than the Holocaust.

The next day, the teams headed out to the beach where TJ Lavin revealed the latest challenge: “Spongeworthy.” Basically, each team had to split into three squads: soakers, transfers, and collecters. The soakers had to soak up water in sponges strapped to their bodies. The transfers had to transfer water from the soakers’ sponges, and the collectors had to squeeze out the transfers’ water into a bucket. And everyone had to do this with no hands. Basically, it was just an elaborate way to see simulated sodomy and weird head-in-crotch scenarios.

Well, the Rookies devised a plan of action that emphasized efficiency while the Veterans devised a plan that emphasized, you know, nothing. “We need little people who can go in the water fast and come back out,” Mark announced. Oh, that sounds like an excellent idea. I mean, it doesn’t make any sense, but it sounds cool.

“The Veterans have a pretty crappy strategy on this one,” Julie then told us. To be fair, the Veterans don’t exactly know what the word “strategy” means. (Derrick thinks it’s a type of vodka.)

Anyway, the challenge soon got underway, and within seconds, we were treated to the sight of Adam dry-humping Susie’s backside. “I guess it’s one way for a team to bond,” Jeremy joked. Hahahahaha WHO ARE YOU?

Meanwhile, Timmy piped up with one of his classic lines, “Squeeze my balls, about two gallons will come out.” Two gallons of HILARITY!

crotch_fluids
adam_susie
Terrell Owens and Nicolette Sheridan have nothing on these two.

As the Challenge progressed, Cara explained the sexual nature of the situation, commenting on all the innuendo. “Sorry about this, mom!” she said. Hey, at least you didn’t show your vagina to the world. Oh wait…

cara_hump1
“Where is he?”

cara_hump2
“Here he is!”

cara_hump3
“Okay, let’s do this!”

cara_hump4
“Ah, sweet release.”

Well, the Rookies pulled off a victory, which meant Kina was safe from that most perilous of situations: THE GAUNTLET (rah rah rah!). Unfortunately for Ruthie, it meant she would have to face off against someone, and Beth had a sneaking suspicion it would be her. “People have preconceived notions about who I am. They think I’m sneaky. They think I’m a bitch,” she said. Now why would they think that? Just because you act that way on EVERY SINGLE SEASON?

Luckily for Beth, she was safe because Jisela volunteered to go into the Gauntlet instead. How about next season there’s no volunteering. I hate this. “I’m not gonna go out like a punk like Cameran,” Jisela noted. If this was the old Jisela — the crazy bitch from Road Rules: The Quest — I would have believed her. But somewhere along the line, she got a lobotomy (or maturity. One of those) and has completely mellowed out. Oh well, I guess this was gonna be a lame Gauntlet.

The teams headed out to the beach where TJ explained the rules of the girls’ challenge: Reverse Tug of War. Basically, each girl would be tied to a rope and would be trying to reach a flag on the outskirts of the court. First one to reach her flag would win. “It’s a new twist on an old game,” TJ happily remarked. Yeah, a new twist — kind of like when I saw it on SURVIVOR!!! Don’t try to scam your tug o’ war innovations by ME!

Anyway, as a random production assistant or grip ran around in the background, TJ rang the starting bell. Within seconds, Ruthie was off charging towards her flag, causing Jisela to instantly fall on her sizable rump. Yes, this was no contest, and the whole reverse tug o’ war was done faster than Danny could charge out of a wrestling circle. Way to not go out like a punk, JISELA.

jisela_gauntlet

Well, TJ was not happy with the results. “Jisela, I couldn’t be more disappointed in you. I’m tired of seeing quitters. The women are disgracing the Gauntlet so far. I’m just telling the truth. Two women’s Gauntlets, and they both give up,” he said. I really admire TJ for having so much concern for the integrity of the Gauntlet, but, well, that’s like someone trying to keep a dandelion alive. Yeah, it’s nice and pretty, but it’s still a weed.

Anyway, after a few grumblings about how the Vets gave the Rookies such a hard time about Cameran quitting but then pulled the same move, we then headed over to the Jisela goodbye station as the girls bid her adieu. Aneesa was particularly moved, and the two shared a very special and dumb farewell. “We were meant to be friends always and forever,” Jisela said. Like totes! Will you sign my yearbook now! Hey, let’s get a pair of jeans and mail them to each other all summer long!!

Just when we thought this episode was coming to a close, we returned to the club, and oh yeah! There was that whole Jodi incident! She and Robin must hate each other now. This is only gonna get worse!!

“I’m totally fine now, so great,” Jodie told Robin at the club.

“Good, we’re good. Cheers. Now let’s have fun tonight,” Robin replied. Oh. Okay. I guess that’s it. So… um… what else?

Nevertheless, Jodi ended the episode on an optimistic note as she said she was happy “just knowing that there is somebody else out there that will love me and really mean it.” And who could that person be? Judging by the cheery music and slow-mo smiles, I’d have to say Alton. It’s a romantic foreshadowing! I simply cannot wait!

What did you think about this episode? What’s the deal with these people?

About

51 Comments

  1. 1
    brigita
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 5:41 pm

    I’m all for “40 is the new 30″ but someone needs to tell Mark Long that 33 is *not* the new 21.

  2. 2
    Branglina's Spawn
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 5:52 pm

    Bravo! Bravo!

    Hysterical recap!!!

  3. 3
    Leah3t
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 6:04 pm

    That challenge was funnier when they did it with ice on the last gauntlet. or inferno. or whatever that was.

    Crazy Mormon has been a disappointment so far. We want assassination attempts! We want God warriors!

  4. 4
    Coconutphone
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 6:18 pm

    God bless the freaks.

  5. 5
    La_Land
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 6:33 pm

    Where is Lacie when you need her? She would have given it to Jodie straight with no chaser rather than mop up her tears and boost her ego like Suzie. I wondered about Jisela’s decision to volunteer herself to face Ruth in the Gauntlet. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that she wasn’t the finest piece of ass there. She is used to being the center of attention but damn, girlfriend needs to do some sit-ups and squats to compete with the current crop of pigeons. Props to B-Side for pointing out Cara’s dumbass remark when she apologized to her mom for the sexual nature of the challenge. I was thinking the same thing- didn’t you just pose for Playboy and then announce it on tv with pride? I can see an Alton and Jodie or Jolton hook up. They are both ho’s but I think David is looking forward to her sharing the wealth so don’t expect her to be exclusive.

  6. 6
    iluvkobebryant
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 6:40 pm

    Alton is so beautiful, and intelligent. I hope he wins. Oh excuse me, I know he will win. He is so gorgeous!

    And just to comment on the Terrell Owens comment. Am I the only one who thinks that Terrell Owens is too damn fine to have done a commercial with tranny Nicolette??? This Italian Princess does.

  7. 7
    The_Svan
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 7:00 pm

    Nice recap.

    The solution to the quitters is simple. Put in the next contract anything remotely seen as quitting results in a forfeit of all prizes and cash as well as a $500 fee for quitting. That will stop this shit.

  8. 8
    The_Svan
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 7:07 pm

    The Svan would also like to say to say thanks for the quick recap.

  9. 9
    azmystique
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 7:12 pm

    This was a hysterical recap. You’re the best

  10. 10
    missriss
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 8:27 pm

    Was anyone else a little disappointed with the fight? The way MTV hyped it, you would have thought it was going to be bigger then Tonya ruining that fake ass Louis Vuitton.All The previews were saying ‘ this is the episode you won’t want to miss’ Like you can miss a damn episode, they only reshow it 200 times. This challenge is boring me, it started good, with the meltdown of nutso Jo, but its slowly putting me to sleep. If the Brad/ Derrick fight is over as fast as you can blink next week, I’m boycotting.
    Show me the drama, or get the hell off my TV screen.

  11. 11
    mountain_girl
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 8:30 pm

    Bravo, B-Side. What a great way to start the year.

    I missed the episode but I doubt it was nearly as funny as the recap. Those four pictures are going to keep me laughing for the rest of the night.

    And I have to say it…I love Timmy. All 12,000 years of him.

  12. 12
    Ash
    Posted January 3, 2006 at 9:21 pm

    Does anyone else find the host extremely annoying? I don’t really care what he thinks, but if he has to comment, one would be fine, but he goes ON AND ON…

    Wonderful recap, very funny!

  13. 13
    zazzlez
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 3:29 am

    Thank you for another brilliant recap, b-side!!
    We love you!!!!!!!!

  14. 14
    megan
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 6:04 am

    Does Jodi kind of look like a broke ass Hilary Swank to anyone else?

  15. 15
    wendylooho
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 6:42 am

    Ash- I find the host annoying as well. As I was watching I kept noticing he does this head bob side to side and I thought who does that remind me of. Then it came to me…Stevie Wonder but then I felt bad for mentally insulting Stevie.

  16. 16
    KatiesHole
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 6:58 am

    I think Mark is well over 40, as well as Timmy and Eric Nies. Mark is a huge camera whore, so it doesn’t surprise me that he roid raged to get more attention.

    When is Landon going to come out? C’mon you big girl!

    And Ruthie, come on now, she has got to have Downs Syndrome. She looked flat out retarded during this entire show…

    KH

  17. 17
    Sherlock
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 7:26 am

    “‘I guess it’s one way for a team to bond,’ Jeremy joked. Hahahahaha WHO ARE YOU?”

    Nice, B-Side.

  18. 18
    Emily
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 8:00 am

    Beth says she wasn’t intentionally starting sh*t. She knew exactly what she was doing!!

    Am I the only one who thinks Landon is hot? I hope he’s not gay!

  19. 19
    Krizzatch
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 8:04 am

    I was wondering whether people would start peeing on each other (like good ol’ Cyrus suggested) in order to fill up the bucket with fluid. You never know what kinda hijinx these assmonkeys are going to pull. I still freakin’ love this show – much thanks for the hilarious recap B-Side!

  20. 20
    Buddhaboy
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 8:29 am

    Absolutely hilarious recap!

    I also agree that the teasers on MTV were severely overrated (but I guess they worked since I watched). I’m anxious to see who among the women will supply the bitch factor, now that Coral has chosen to absent herself.

  21. 21
    EdHill
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 8:32 am

    I still for the life of me cannot believe how bone shatteringly ugly Ruthie is. Every time I see her on my screen I cringe. It still amazes me that Matt had such a crush on her in Real World Hawaii. It’s like having a crush on Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern show.

    Remember on the first real world when using steroids became this cautionary tale and they would afterschool special it with all sorts of serious talks about the hazards of it. Those were the good old days. THE amount of steroids/human growth hormones coursing through Mark’s veins would make Even Barry Bonds do a double take. Its good to know that Mark also follows the cardinal rule of roided out reality stars. Never, ever, wear a shirt. But at least he doesn’t have that weird vieny pec thing that Eric Neis has.

    It’s funny you mention it because “Sherlock Holmes and the curious case of crestfallenness� was one of my favorite stories as a boy.

    I still smile whenever these reality stars refer to randomly f’ing each other as “we dated for a few weeks�. Yeah right. I “date� a Filipino hooker every Friday for about 30 minutes too, so it’s all good.

    SO I know robin has the big boobies and all, but I just don’t really get it. Don’t get me wrong, EdHill loves the boobies, but she has got that skanked out tobacco ravaged voice that just ruins it for me. I guess I just have higher standards for my skanks.

    Speaking of which, I hate Beth. And she creeps me out because she has the tiny teeth of a 9 year old boy.

    After Marks outburst on the bus I’m convinced he should get his own show ala the O’Reilly Factor. “Tonight on the factor. We talk about why Howard Dean is such a f’ing pansy ass. A’ight dude? So shut it!� and then he punches his desk. He is of course, shirtless throughout.

    When Jamie said “Oh my gash� I immediately thought of the Godlewski’s too. Midwestern accents are like wicked funny.

    If I really wanted to see simulated sodomy, I’d turn on Cinemax. [rimshot]. Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Enjoy the veal.

    The only thing funnier than TJ’s reverence for the gauntlet, is when he does his half assed product plugs before every challenge. “And the winner will get a $1,000 gift certificate from best buy, where, uh, there are like, thousands of possibilities.� And this last one was great where he not only had to plug the Nintendo DS and say the catchphrase, but he had to fiddle with the screen as part of the sales pitch. And he did it in such a half assed way it made me laugh. “And the winner wins a Nintendo DS, where like, touching is good, and stuff.�

  22. 22
    noballs
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 8:38 am

    All I can say is THANK GOD I am not an overhead luggage compartment!!!

    Awesome recap!!!

  23. 23
    hardly@work
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 8:55 am

    king kong chic…if only king kong had a scarf/shirt….someone must make anissa put on some clothing and a wig, ruthie is a 10 compared to aniisa she really makes my stomach turn. jisele probably volunteered to leave to escape her advances.

  24. 24
    stacyrocks
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 9:14 am

    Great recap, B-Side! This slow day at work is now all better thanks to this. And oh, I’m glad EdHill pointed out the ‘where touching is, uh good’ line for Nintendo. I lost it when TJ Lavin said that. So funny. Such enthusiasm in his speech… not!

  25. 25
    jenny10girl
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 9:37 am

    Ok I’m not sure which is funnier…B-Side’s recap or EdHill’s comments…!

    Ash – I find the host to be extremely annoying as well.

    …why do I watch this show again? Oh yeah…to remind myself that there are people out there that are way crazier than me. :o )

  26. 26
    SmallTownGirl
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 9:39 am

    I think Mark needs to get a hold on his temper. He’s 30 something and acts like that? it’s ridicolous. He has some maturity issues to work on.

    I think it was real sweet of Robin to befriend Jodi while they were dancing. It shows Robin has a good heart.

  27. 27
    Jules
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 9:45 am

    I think someone should beat up Cara. Aneesa was right, now that Cara is hot, apparently she doesn’t need to have any kind of personality. She reminds me of the fat girl in high school, that loses a bunch of weight, and then ignores all her friends.
    What about that Jillian girl? Has she even said one word yet? Half the time I forget she is on the show.

  28. 28
    Exile
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 9:47 am

    This show is like a big car wreck!!!! Your comments make it funny, so I guess now ita a funny car wreck!!! These people take 6this Sh!t so serious, like they are curing world hunger. I see it as a trip of a lot of free drinks, and a guarantee to get laid….if I win some money the better!!!!!! Effin Cry baby’s

  29. 29
    ivapbj
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 10:23 am

    There’s a Jillian on this show?!?!?!
    Oh Ed-Hill how you tickle my funny bone,along with B-Side’s recaps u 2 are the funniest people i know.
    Keep up the good work cuz so far this RWRR season is sucking ass! Jodi is a skank and not even a good one, Mark needs to leave them little girls alone! Robin should get into a new love triangle with Kina and Randy, now that would be hot and Ruthy…. well Ruthy should shave her head strap on a bandana and play the role of Tupac in his new upcoming videos from the dead.

  30. 30
    djo8901
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 10:33 am

    I don’t know why they even bother with the “challenges.â€? They are such waste of time — I just want to see all of those RWRR’s all sloppy drunk, making no sense, making total fools of themselves. Mark Long with his stupid faux-hawk is disgusting and he MUST be riddled with STD’s. Why would any of those girls, besides gross Beth, want a piece of that?????? And while I am on the topic of Beth—did she get a brow lift or something? She is getting increasingly busted with each season.

  31. 31
    America's Next Top Fan
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 11:05 am

    Alton’s hot. Mark’s not. He’s like Thirty-issshhh_bazilion years old.

    And what’s up with that girls eyebrows? You know the one who gossiped to Beth about Mark. She looks eternally suprised. Like she’s been sleeping suspended by fish hooks in the middle of her eyebrows. Yuk. If she thought that was constructive plastic surgery she should consult Michael Jackson. Throw that fish back in the sea fellas.

  32. 32
    scorpiella
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 11:21 am

    Hilarious recap!

    Mark Long makes me sad. It’s one thing when these 21 year olds are sleeping with anything that moves and acting like idiots but Mark, honey, you’re old.
    This season sucks because we don’t know who any of these people are! Susie? Jo? Danny? Jeremy? Jillian?
    Where are Coral, Mike, or, God help me, Veronica and Rachel???

  33. 33
    ReRegirl
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 11:56 am

    I know Timmy. He’s an awesome guy and one of the funniest people I have had the pleasure of knowing personally. He’s 33 by the way. I find it funny that people keep posting that he is too old for these challenges.
    He has proven himself to be one of the strongest players every time he competes.
    Also, the other cast members all seem to love him. That is no surprise because he is
    an awesome guy. I sincerely doubt that most people would pass up the
    opportunity to travel and party for weeks at a time on MTV’s tab. Not to mention the fact that he can complete and win good money. Beats working 9 to 5 in an office any day.

  34. 34
    Leah3t
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 11:58 am

    big time eye roll when Timmy (was it Timmy?) told mark he was like an ADONIS in Jodi’s and Robin’s eyes. and Mark was like ‘yeah, exactly!!!!”

  35. 35
    hog island
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 12:52 pm

    I love you, Mom. I want you to be my mother B-Side. Are you my Mom? I’ll ask you if you’re my mother and you say, “yes.” OK? — Are you my mother — ?

    Hysterical recap B-Side.

  36. 36
    derder
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 1:10 pm

    THAT WAS AWESOME, HOG ISLAND!!!!

  37. 37
    juxtapoeser
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 1:25 pm

    did you guys see the overdrive epi with danny where he spilled all dirt?

    jodi and her servicing of Adam and Alton on the first night (assorted “jobs”)

    and…

    cara and jamie get it on on the days that there is no filming. (cara has a bf back home…naughty naughty….)

  38. 38
    missriss
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 1:56 pm

    Matt didn’t have a crush on Ruthie, he had a crush on her twin sister, Sarah. Who, if I remember correctly wasn’t as ugly as Ruthie. She must not have drowned herself in alcohol daily, like Ruthie.

  39. 39
    goobs
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 5:08 pm

    ok, I have a theory…Jisela is pregnant. Any thoughts? She looked bigger and did you see the way she wore her tug of war harness? Around her breasts, offering her very little leverage and allowing Ruthie to bring her down with ease. I bet the producers found out and made her volunteer. Anyone else notice or agree?

  40. 40
    derder
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 5:33 pm

    Doubt it, I don’t think Jisela is stupid enough to jeopardize a pregnancy doing these challenges. She did seem a little flabbier than usual. But she is getting older and every decade brings on new flab. Plus it didn’t necessarily look like she had gotten a “tummy”- more like a little flab on the hips (Sorry, Jisella, your still beautiful and nothing wrong with a little weight gain). But, then again, what do I know? You may be right, goobs… I guess we’ll know in a few months. Plus, they have had a pregnant woman on a challenge (Gladys, maybe?) and although they allowed her on the challenge, they just forbade her from doing certain competitions.

  41. 41
    Terence
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 5:36 pm

    Great Recap!
    The Robin’s chest and Jeremy’s “Who are you?” comments had me dying.

  42. 42
    lillielil
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 6:22 pm

    I can’t believe that these girls are getting so upset about Mark. He is ok looking, but he looks closer to 40 than 30. Jillian will probably whore it up sooner or later. She was the one that hooked up with that poor man’s Ben Affleck look-a-like on Road Rules Extreme the first night that they met. Suzie is fake like Omarrosa and just as ugly too.

  43. 43
    Summer
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 10:35 am

    Aww, poor Jodi- I’m sure your mom loves ya!

    Hey B-side, you have the same boss as Roid Rage Mark? What exactly is his real job?

  44. 44
    Alikat
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 12:44 pm

    First of all, Jodi needs new hair…its always horrendous.

    I also don’t remember Cara looking any different so how is she hotter now?

    Awesome recap. I feel like this show used to be a full hour bc now it just seems like its over very quickly.

  45. 45
    noodle
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 4:06 pm

    You know this challenge is lame when Jodi has been in the middle of almost every episode. but i still love it just to read these recaps.
    Edhill you had me rolling comparing Ruthie to beetlejuice…soooo true.

  46. 46
    jenhen
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 4:42 pm

    #14 Megan – Jodi DOES look like a broke ass Hilary Swank! good call.

    B-Side – fab recap. glad you picked up on Jamie getting all zen-like. these people kill me – but i just can’t stop watching.

  47. 47
    Blackjack Bandit
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 8:27 pm

    Bring back my bitches!

    Jodi is a lame-ass Tonya. Nobody can out-whore her.

    Where are Coral, Veronica, and Rachel when you need REAL drama?

  48. 48
    Jules
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 7:22 am

    These shows are so much funnier after you read the re-cap. I watched this episode again last night and was thinking about B-Side’s comments the whole time. I particulary laughed at Mark’s little episode on the bus and then his commentary later “almost as if he had merely been a bystander of the entire debacle.” Good stuff!

  49. 49
    yve
    Posted January 8, 2006 at 9:21 pm

    Where is that quote from, hogisland???

  50. 50
    cincy_josh
    Posted January 9, 2006 at 11:05 am

    That quote from hogisland is from boogie nights. Great movie if you haven’t seen it. :-)

  51. 51
    G
    Posted January 10, 2006 at 6:15 am

    um, where is the recap for when danny went crazy??

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