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Friday, June 24, 2011
11:00 am
62 Comments
Tagged: beef, douche trio, ego, fights, fresh meat, funny, hatred, MTV, real world, recap, road rules, the challenge, TV, tvgasm
Welcome, Gasmii, to Season 21 of The Challenge! I know, I can’t believe it myself. In honor of our beloved Challenge reaching drinking age, we’re going to spend the season creating the Ultimate Challenge Drinking Game. I’ll throw out some suggestions in the recap, and you can all feel free to add yours in the comments. For example:
– Drink whenever someone (probably Paula Walnuts) says “I thought you had my back.”
– Drink whenever someone (probably Johnny Bananas) says “Trim the fat.”
– Don’t drink every time CT is terrifying, because you will end up in the hospital or the morgue.
– Finish your drink whenever Kenny and Evan build a cuddle fort and/or shower together.
Drink whenever TJ looks like he needs a shower.
By the end of this season, we’ll all be raging alcoholics, which will make us prime candidates for the next season of Fresh Meat and/or The Real World. (I don’t watch Survivor, but I know they did a “Fans vs. Favorites” season. The Challenge probably doesn’t want to do that because no one who’s old enough to participate wants to admit that they still watch the Challenge.) And now, let’s get started!
We open with a montage of various fights over the past few years. This season’s Challengers march in single file, trying and (mostly failing) to look intimidating. A girl (maybe Robin?) declares it “the craziest group of people I’ve ever seen.” It’s going to be the angriest season EVERRR, y’all. Everyone hates everyone! And, as you probably know by now, CT is BACK for real this time. Their brief experiment with him last season yielded no fatalities, so they’re releasing him into the wild to see how long he can last without attempting to rip anyone’s limbs off.
But WAIT! Before we can even begin, we must dramatically wait for the reveal of whether or not the Teejster will be back to host after his tragic accident last fall. The answer to this question has already been in the news, but I suppose the Challengers didn’t know that when they were filming. Finally, TJ Lavin walks out to applause and cheering from the veterans. Jenn informs us that she is teary and inspired. Teej thanks them for their various well-wishes during his recovery. Personally, I’m glad he’s back. I like it when he mocks the contestants for sucking and especially for not trying.
Is she really sad or does he really need a shower?
Teej tells them that their worst enemies are among the cast this season, and they will each be teamed with the person they have beef with. They’re in Costa Rica, and this is RIVALS. I don’t know why it took them 21 seasons to think of this setup, but it seems poised to provide maximum drama. I hope whoever came up with this idea got a cookie or something.
Enjoy that cookie, Mark Burnett!
Now for the pairings:
CT and Adam, for having what may be the biggest fight in Challenge history. If you saw it, no explanation needed. If you didn’t, know that it involved footie pajamas and CT at his most animalistic. Currently, Adam is pooping his pants in terror.
Cara Maria (AKA Skull Beads) and Laurel, because the latter thinks the former is a worthless pile of shit. Since that was only last season, it’s no surprise that nothing has changed.
Johnny Bananas and Tyler, because Bananas hates that he has lost to Tyler? Or something, I never really got it. Plus I always forget that they were on the same Real World season, so maybe something happened then that I missed or can’t remember.
Theresa and Camila, because Theresa thought she had achieved veteran status after one season of Fresh Meat and therefore picked a fight with Camila.
Fighting with your armpit shouldn’t be fair, but it is.
Evan and Nehemiah, because apparently Nehemiah doesn’t like that Evan has an alarming amount of control over these Challenges. I’m taking his word for it, because whatever happened between them must have been like 8 challenges ago since I barely remember Nehemiah and/or this alleged beef.
Paula and Ev, because Bananas ditched Paula and used Ev so he could win that challenge on that island that time. Walnuts is happy about the pairing, though, because she knows Ev is good at this stuff. Ev is less psyched, because she can only win if Walnuts does, and we all know Walnuts is the Susan Lucci of these things.
Bananas, dahling
Davis and Tyrie, because of some fight that happened on their season (Denver), which I did not watch.
Jenn and Mandi, because Jenn gave her that “You’re a rookie. If you don’t get it, you’re not supposed to” smackdown on Fresh Meat.
Leroy and Adam, the new kids, because on the Vegas season that just ended, Leroy saw through Adam’s mindboggling amount of bullshit.
Sarah and Katelynn, because Katelynn tried to jump on the bandwagon on Fresh Meat and Sarah did not appreciate getting screwed over by her alleged friend. Sarah forgot she even had an enemy until Katelynn’s name was announced, because she’s supposed to be the nice one.
Ty and Brandon, because Ty is a suckass instigator and dragged Brandon into his shit. This is one of those teams on which I love one member and can’t stand the other, which comes with the territory considering the format.
Jasmine and Jonna, who fought over a guy in Cancun, which is another season I didn’t watch.
The one who smelt it, dealt it, Rihanna.
Aneesa and Robin, who apparently hate each other but since they’re both fossils at this point, I doubt even they can remember. I’m pretty sure they’ve both done Challenges with Beth, in case you need a point of reference.
And last, but certainly not least, we are left with Kenny and Wes, who are the Challenge equivalent of a Shakespearean tragedy without all of the eloquent language. They remind us that this goes back “many years” and Kenny quips to the crowd “I’m gonna show this guy what a finish line looks like.”
I sense a kiss coming. A really plaque-y one.
In the final challenge, the first place team for each gender will receive $100,000. I like how the most seasoned veterans are still amazed by this even though it’s the same amount EVERY SINGLE TIME. Second place for each gender gets $50,000, but third place gets zilch. Okay, that one’s new, and ouch. Roy Lee (Leroy, for those of you who didn’t watch RW Vegas), would like to win. You don’t say?
Teej then tells them that the winning team of each challenge will be safe from elimination. The losing team will automatically be sent into the elimination round, and will go against whichever non-winning team the rest of the players vote to send in.
The challengers stampede into their house and run around like kids in a McDonald’s Playplace, while Evan and Kenny toast to their reunion after a grueling couple of Challenges apart. CT is happy they let him out of his cage, and says that everyone is still the same except that Evan looks pregnant. Oh shit, you guys, Kenny’s gonna be a daddy. I’m a little surprised, though, since I thought Evan wore the pants in that relationship.
Congrats! We’ve got someone paying our rent for a month or two! You guys have jobs yet in the real world? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Let’s drink!
Wes tells Vegas Adam and Roy Lee about “The Bandwagon Effect,” in which someone votes a team into elimination, and everyone else follows because they’re all chicken shits. Adam immediately says he’s all for that plan, as Wes tells us that rookies are easily manipulated, so he’ll just get them to do what he says until he doesn’t need them anymore. Roy Lee, as we well know, is no such fool and promptly tells Wes straight to his face that he doesn’t trust him.
CT and Adam hug it out and apologize. Apparently they’re not still mad at each other, so… so much for RIVALS, I guess. CT tells us that his brother was murdered and CT himself was shot in the back. That… explains a lot, actually. CT says he’s not his own worst enemy anymore, and I’m glad he’s doing better but it’s hard not to feel like he’s one splinter away from cracking. Adam tells us it’s unrealistic to think he and CT will be best friends, but they’ll be able to get along well enough.
The familiar sound of a clue arrival rings out into the night, and rookie Roy Lee has the honor of spitting out the product placement. They have to be ready at 6 AM, to which I say hell yes. If these people are getting paid to party in exotic locations, they had damn well better be obligated to wake up earlier than I do.
They arrive at the challenge, where they must hold hands with their partners and jump off of a platform suspended over a waterfall. They don’t have to fall very far, but the object is to clear as many hash marks as possible (in other words, jump as far out as possible). If two teams clear the same number, whoever did it the fastest wins. This is a girls’ elimination day, so the girls who jump the farthest will be safe. They guys who jump the farthest will receive a $2000 prize.
Maybe just try to avoid that giant pointy rock right below the lines.
Jenn and Mandi are up first and clear 12 hash marks. Paula and Ev are next, followed by Laurel and Skull Beads, and both teams DQ. On the guys’ side, Evan/Nehemiah and Kenny/Wes also DQ. Aneesa and Robin clear 13 hash marks, and Paula is impressed that Aneesa’s giant ass got that much air. Johnny and Tyler clear 14, Jonna and Jasmine clear 13, and Davis and Tyrie clear a whopping 5.
CT and Adam are up next, and Adam tells us he’s afraid to fail for fear his partner will tear his limbs off. Luckily for Adam’s safety, they manage to clear all 15 hash marks. Brandon and Ty clear 13, Sarah and Katelynn clear 11, Camila and Theresa clear 10. Leroy and Vegas Adam also clear all 15 hash marks, and the Douche Trio are clearly impressed and/or threatened.
Teej gathers everyone to announce the winners. Since two guy teams cleared all 15 hash marks, it comes down to who got off the platform the fastest. It turns out Leroy and Vegas Adam got off faster (insert your own premature ejaculation joke here) than CT and Paris Adam, so the rookies take home the cash prize. For the girls, Aneesa/Robin and Jonna/Jasmine both cleared 13 hash marks, but once again the rookies did it fast so the Cancun J’s are safe from elimination. I guess being younger and faster paid off in this one. As for the losers, Paula/Ev and Laurel/Skull Beads both DQ’ed, but apparently Paula/Ev both stepped over the line and therefore are sent into elimination.
On the bus ride home, Ev tells Wes (who could not look less interested) that she wants to go against a strong team so that no one will want to send her in after this. Laurel overhears this and says she could beat Ev, but just doesn’t feel like it right now, so she’s going to start gunning for another strong team in Aneesa and Robin. Well, they did come in 2nd today by a fraction of a second, while Laurel’s team technically came in 2nd to last. Aneesa catches wind of this from a few feet away and says Laurel should send them home herself. Well, Aneesa, because she’d be stuck dragging her pathetic little sack of flour teammate through the elimination round. God, don’t you know anything?!
Back at the house, Aneesa and Robin quietly confront Laurel and try to convince her to take Ev out herself. Aneesa probably thinks she’s earned the right to sit out the first few eliminations, but she’s been out of the loop for way too long at this point and the new kids have taken over. Katelynn walks in an awkwardly tries to tell Laurel and co. that they’re talking bullshit. She claims that Laurel is the only one who can take out Ev and tells us she’s bitter that Laurel always makes it into the finals. Oh, shut up, fool. Laurel makes the finals because she can take out pretty much any girl they put her against. Do ONE impressive thing in any of these challenges and then start talking.
TJ gathers everyone once again and tells them it’s time to vote for which team will face Paula and Ev in the elimination round. Robin, for some reason, takes the floor to give a speech. She seems to think she’s going to convince everyone not to vote for her, but she’s babbling incoherently and they’re all looking at her like she’s the teacher who should have retired 10 years ago, or the old lady at the pharmacy who’s yelling about something or other. She begs Aneesa for help, and Aneesa says she just hates the first day whispers and everyone’s bullshit attempt to save their own asses. They ask her for her suggestion, and she offers up Laurel and Skull Beads.
Laurel does not like this, and of course votes for Aneesa and Robin. Since most of these people know Laurel better than the old chicks, the aforementioned Bandwagon Effect rears its ugly head and soon Teej has returned to announce the Aneesa/Robin vs. Paula/Ev matchup.
Ev informs us that Aneesa is the “elimination queen” and has never been sent home in an elimination round. Robin is crying as Paris Adam and Wes try to encourage her. Next she cries some more as she tells us it’s “extremely hard” to be away from her child but she wants to win the money for them. Or she could, you know, get a job to support him, but whatever.
Typing is hard you guys! WAAAAH!
Since 24 out of the 28 challengers know they’re not going into the elimination round the next day, it’s party time! Roy Lee gets to take a celebratory body shot off of Mandi! Tiny Jasmine gets flung into the pool like a rag doll! Now tiny Jasmine and giant Tyrie are flirting, but she has a boyfriend back home so she’s totally not gonna hook up or anything. I give it three minutes. Jonna tells us that when Jasmine drink, she gets completely out of control.
WOW! The three minutes I gave that hookup was too generous, as it has taken mere seconds. I have underestimated the stupidity of these people about whom I know nothing. Kenny informs us that Jasmine will have some ‘splaining to do to her alleged boyfriend. He also informs us that Tyrie is disgusting because he sleeps with his sneakers on, and Jasmine will smell like bacon for the rest of her life. Hey! What’s wrong with smelling like bacon? Bacon is awesome. Oh wait, Kenny used to be fat right? He probably has some bad memories or something.
Kenny. The bacon years.
Ty is being a general ass, which mildly amuses Evan. He informs a random sampling of his colleagues that he has not had sex in a year and a half because he’s “in L.A. and all of the girls suck.” Vegas Adam says he doesn’t like Ty, as if he himself is some pillar of morality. Brandon uselessly tries to tell Ty to be nicer, and gives us kind of a “What can I do?” shrug.
Vegas Adam’s dislike of Ty leads to a little bit of yelling, followed by Brandon dragging Ty away as he laughs like an autotuned hyena. Roy Lee tries to convince his teammate not to let Ty get to him, and tells us he’s worried Adam will do something stupid. The half-hearted arguing starts up again, with Roy Lee holding Ty back as Jenn tries to convince Adam not to bother, causing him to realize a girl is touching him and give him the Lustfully Wasted look he was constantly giving Nany in Vegas.
Adam knocks innocent bystander Mandi down on his way to giving Ty a pathetically weak bitch slap. I mean, not that I condone violence or anything, but if you’re going to fight on a Challenge, try not to be such a pussy about it. Plus, I don’t like Vegas Adam or Ty and they both deserve a good punch to the face.
We get a commercial break to recover from this little scuffle, after which we get to watch it again. CT tells us he’s happy to sit back and watch other people fight for once. Jenn informs us that Mandi hit her head on the pavement when she was knocked down and now she can’t see straight. Jenn brings a crying Mandi over to sit down and tries to comfort her, but Mandi looks pretty freaked out.
How many fingers am I holding up?
A producer has arrived to take Vegas Adam away, but he’s wasted so he has a lot of trouble comprehending the simple words she is saying to him. Roy Lee tries once again to talk sense into Adam, because he has the patience of a saint. It’s too late though, as Adam tells us it sucks that he didn’t make it to the end and has to forget about the money. Too bad it’s completely your own fault, jackass. Just like that, Adam has been kicked off of the Challenge even quicker than he got kicked out the Real World house. And he’s done it just like he does everything in life: thinking he’s a badass when in actuality he’s just a punkass bitch. I’m sure the druggies in Maine will be relieved to have their number one dealer back so quickly.
Ty tells us he didn’t do it on purpose, but it would be a good strategy to get every guy mad enough to hit him and get kicked off. That’s tough talk from someone who’s only been hit by Adam so far. Try that plan with CT and then come talk to me, if you’re not too busy choking on your own teeth.
Mandi gets checked out by the medic, and she still looks a little dazed but they tell her she’s okay. Ev seems impressed that Mandi was able to take such a hard hit. Mandi uses her injury to flirt with CT, who she proclaims the hottest guy in the house. Oh man, I used to think that too, until I realized he would probably eat my family. Speaking of, has anyone seen or heard from Diem lately? Just wondering. CT half-heartedly tells us Mandi’s cute and then makes a joke about her having a big head.
No pulse.
The challengers gather on a bridge suspended over the elimination station, as Teej tells them the first order of business is to address Leroy’s partner-less status in the wake of Adam’s departure. Bananas tells us it’s anyone’s guess whether they’ll just send Leroy home or bring in a new partner for him, and TJ tries and fails miserably to fake him out before revealing that he will get a replacement partner. And that replacement partner is none other than…
… “BIG MIKE!” Leroy exclaims excitedly. For those of you who didn’t watch Vegas, here’s what you need to know: Big Mike (AKA MikeMike) and Leroy are polar opposites on the surface but bonded over their tough upbringings and similar attitudes. It was bromantic as hell, and around these parts we refer to them as MikeRoy. I highly recommend watching Dailies from the Vegas season, especially ones involving Mike. I mean, so much for rivals since they’re BFF’s and all, but you won’t hear me complaining. Leroy tells us that Mike’s intelligence and his strength will make a good combination.
Paula tells us she’s never been in a first elimination round, but if she can make it through it’s straight to the final. Has Paula ever seen a final? Aneesa tells us she needs to win. The rules are: each girl will stand on a small platform and hold onto her teammate for balance. Teej will move the platforms apart a little at a time until someone falls. Very simple.
Aneesa and Robin go for the pulling strategy, while Paula and Ev lean on each other. Every few minutes, TJ pulls his lever (not like that, you filthy people) to move the platforms further apart until finally, Robin falls. Ev and Paula jump into the mud and hug each other. I know this is RIVALS and all, but Paula and Ev both care a lot more about winning than they do about fighting, so something tells me they’ll be getting along pretty well. Plus, Ev knows that she needs to be encouraging to her teammate, which is a concept other people (*cough*Laurel*cough*) will probably never grasp.
Aneesa is pissed and blames Robin for the loss of her “Elimination Queen” crown. Teej sends Ev and Paula back to the group and then sends Aneesa and Robin on their not-so-merry way. Robin says she’s happy to go back to her son, which something tells me is no consolation for Aneesa.
Evan tells us that “the party’s over” since the next elimination will be the guys. Of course, when it’s a girls’ elimination and Evan’s ass isn’t on the line, it’s a total joyfest.
Back at the house, Kenny tells CT that he has a cauldron in his room and he’s stirring it up. I am distracted by the fact that our dear Rhodes Scholar Kenny knows the word cauldron. Either he’s been studying, or he’s a warlock. The former would be more surprising. Anyway, Kenny tells CT that he doesn’t trust the nice guy act. There’s some babbling about “top dogs” (new drinking game catchphrase?) and CT tells us the Douche Trio (Kenny/Evan/Johnny) and their partners all think they’ll be in the final three, but not if CT has anything to say about it. Something tells me that is not an empty threat. And we’re left to ponder that for the next week.
I’ve been dating a girl named Britannica.
This season: Heights! Pushing! Fighting! Challenges! Yelling! Vomiting! Worrying! Falling! Breaking things! Partying! Traveling! Tearing down one’s own teammate! It’s your pretty standard Challenge montage, and I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of it.
So, what did everyone think of the premiere? I thought it was fine, nothing terribly noteworthy. Will anyone miss Adam? I sure as hell won’t, ESPECIALLY since he replacement was MikeMike. Who do you think would win in an Aneesa vs. Ev battle? Anyone you’re rooting for and/or against? Are you excited for this season? And finally, how do you feel about the RIVALS setup? Talk to me!
62 Comments
@ VA, a couple things:
A) It’s funny you referred to Jonna as Rihanna, because that was the nickname Chickbomb used for her during the season. Also, she did steal a Canadian DJ from Jazzy, did so with ease, and had no qualms about it and didn’t feel bad. Here’s hoping that Jazzy has more tequilla-filled freakouts, as she did in Cancun.
B) Davis deserved the beat-down Tyrie gave him, since he used the N-word and that was uncalled for. But that fight was 5 or 6 years ago, and I would have assumed that they put that behind them by now.
C) Tyler’s enemy should have been Svetlana (that burn book series of episodes were some of the most catty, dramatic, deliciousness this show has served up in its later years).
D) Where are Hair and that Gay Black guy from New Orleans, Part II? As much as I love Leroy, that GBG/Hair from NO2 would have been the most dramatic, imploded team in history.
More later, after I actually watch this shit!
Welcome back, VA!
Drink every time Jen, K’evan (Kenny+Evan), or Wes tell someone they don’t have a say in anything because they are a rookie
Drink every time someone says they deserve to be there
Drink every time Kenny calls himself Mr. Beautiful
Drink every time someone goes on and on about how K’evan, Wes, et. Al. are such strong competitors when history shows they are only good at keeping out of elimination challenges. Don’t think Kenny has ever faced off and actually won a one on one challenge against anyone. Please correct me if I am wrong. On that Island B.S. your only goal was DONT COME IN LAST and you get a key or something equally ridiculous. The one time his pregnant girlfriend Evan was challenged was when Nehemiah DARED TO CALL HIM OUT. And all he did was bitch and complain and did the “why me” until it was over
Now on to CT. He is HOT. I hate myself for loving that psych ward escapee but I do..yes indeed I do. In my fantasy, I loan CT my rent money to pay his truck note. On the third of the month, when he cannot pay me back, we are at my house having day time sex because he does not have a job and I took the day off from work to be with him. The landlord comes by to collect the rent and CT tells him he will get it when I give it to him. This does not sit well with the landlord and they argue. I try to break it up (half-assed) and CT ends up beating the guy literally into the next week because that is how long he is in a medically induced coma.
Adam wasn’t the only one pooping his pants. Teej needs a lot of help with personal hygiene after that accident… a greasy hobo beard is actually the LEAST of his worries.
That lemur brain they implanted is really working for him, though. I think it might be making him a better host than before his head injury.
Sorry Faye, (and Mandi apparently) CT works at the gym across the street from my office and he will be mine. Oh yes, the maniac will be mine!
@VA- Nice Robot Chicken Star Wars clip reference.
I can’t wait to watch this now that I have read the re-cap.
@Gypsy *in my Cap’em Kirk voice* GGGGGYYYPPPPPSSSSSSSYYYYYYY … Take a picture; I will give you a virtual dollar!
@ Faye Will do darlin’! I’m in Orlando on a business trip but will have it late next week. Deal?
CT’s brother was shot in the back, not CT. I am very excited for this season. It looks like it is going to be good! I hope the ratings are good enough to get the show renewed. I’m glad you mentioned that Theresa thought she was so old school by her second challenge. That really bothered me. Also, I really can’t stand Laurel.
When CT was flirting with Mandi after she survived being knocked to the floor. All I could think is that he is only attracted to her because she knows how to take a beating and get back up. I just could just see the wheels in CT’s head start turning. Hey I could totally beat this chick and she would just bounce right back.
It almost felt like the whole Adam/Ty fight was completely staged like the producers didn’t really want to have Adam on the Challenge, but they couldn’t figure out how to pair MikeMike and RoyLee together on a rivals show. But that is just because those two are the only ones that I like after one billion seasons of Real World, Road Rules, Challenge. Well except for that Irish dude from Miami, but I think that was because I was young and wanted a rocker boyfriend. Also due to my mild obsession with U2. Thank god that phase in my life is over.
@ Bridget Re: Adam, excellent point!
Has anyone ever noticed that the one to get the opeining interview on a challenge show is the one that goes home that epi? Its like their swan song or something. Amirite?
@Gypsy – You have just surpassed my little nephew as my favorite person.
LOL @ Bridget – I’m hoping even CT has enough in him to not hit a woman. I mean I love that whole junk yard dog thing he got going but no one is that hot
Faye, if you go out with CT, make sure you:
–tell a friend or family member knows where you are
–have a cell phone with you
–stay in well-lit, public places
–don’t make any sudden movements that might set him off
–bring a gun. The biggest gun that will fit in your purse.
–never say “Cocheese” to C.T.
Oh Gypsy I am sooooo jealous! I would go out with CT even if he beat me up before he dropped me off at home lol he is THAT hot in my eyes.
@Faye, I love how detailed your fantasy is! Mine is a little violent XD no third parties involved!
Now on to the challenge, I’m glad Adam got sent home, sucks that he only mildly bitchslapped Ty who seems to get off on it. I think Ty is a closet ‘mo and he takes out his frustrations by being an ass to other people, I mean come on, he was dating Emily(emilee?) don’t remember which one but she was practically a dude.
Looking forward to the recaps and a season full of CT yummyness.
VA LOVED this recap!! It was freakin HILARIOUS! Too many great lines to pick. I like that it is rivals. I loathe Laurel with a passion and Ty, so I hate that they are on this season. Don’t like Theresa, but feel pretty indifferent about everyone else. No faves yet, but I do like MikeMike and Roy Lee.
It’s funny because my hubby walks thru as I am watching this and was all like “damn this is still on, and you still watch it?!” Then proceeds to tell me how he played basketball with CT years ago at our gym. @Faye your fantasy was awesome!!
and I think CT is yummy too. I saw him at our gym too and really wanted to say hi, but I was too scared, lol.
i havent read the recap yet because i am too excited about the drinking game lol..
DRINK EVERYTIME u hear the phrase “balls to the wall” … “under the bus” and a cast member saying “myself”
I hate how a large chunk of these rivalries really don’t even exist anymore. This would have been a really fun concept a few years ago when they could have had pairings like Coral and Julie, Kina and Cara, Beth and Tina, Tonya and pretty much any other girl…
CT has reached new levels of hotness this season. He could punch every defenseless pipsqueak on these shows and I would still love to watch him!
I am so excited, only a couple paragraphs in and I cant wait to comment! First, just want to say that I am glad TJ’s accident is not preventing you from still making fun of him bc thats one of my favorite aspects of your challenge recaps, so thank you! Also, love the drinking game, had a potluck the other night and noone brought food, only beer, so I have a fridge full of beer and just got home from work and am totally going to grab one before I jump back into reading this so I can play along
Finally, a place where I can feel free to admit my love for CT. Its a natural fact of life that girls (and guys) love the crazy hotties. Sure, a nice guy might be good for a date to the Melting Pot, but deep down we all wish we were banging a CT.
Well since we are all sharing Teej is bangable as well …
Wow, this recap was the best Ive read in a while. I forgot that what I love most about this show is reading your recaps! And I love watching this show. I literally laughed out loud a bunch of times, and definitely spit on my computer.
I guess I am the only one who doesn’t find CT attractive. I dunno, he just doesn’t do it for me. Ive never been one for the neanderthal type though, which does not explain why I like Kenny one bit! I did think it was funny when he talked about MAdy’s big head, I mean it is giant!
I hate that crazy piece of shit Adam, so glad he is gone. And Bridget I think you may be on to something…
Your douchebag trio jokes, particularly the Kenny/Evan ones are the funniest shit ever, and I love Kenny, for some reason, still. And Wes still grosses/creeps/uuggghies me out.
I pretty much hate all these girls with a few exceptions. I wonder if Sara if still in love with Kenny, hopefully we will get some of that drama. I seriously almost lost it when you made the Kenny bacon joke! Pure gold!
I think Paula is stoked as hell to have Ev as a partner, Ev is a winner, losers like Paula loves winners like Ev. Shes got no beef, she just wants to win so she doesn’t look like an idiot for spending a decade of her life doing, well, nothing. I kinda love the Paula meltdowns when she knows shes being fucked over, so I am up for seeing that.
Faye, I love your additions to the drinking game
This is gonna be a fun season!
Haha, I love Teej too, definitely bangable, hes totally my type
Drink every time someone says “take to the next level” how come no mtv psa by Ct about the dangers of gun play and i thought he said he was shot in the back his brother shot and killed .CT does look like he took a cycle off the juice this season.How does the biggest badest gangster in Maine not know how to throw a punch what the hell was that? How does taking a cheap shot slap at an A-hole a huge crime but almost giving a 92 pound dumb bell a concusion is ok because Adam is trying to push through 10 people to a guy that has two people holding him back.oh Mtv your ever changing rules and morals always keeps us on our toes.
Your recaps will be the best thing about this show
“Sure, a nice guy might be good for a date to the Melting Pot, but deep down we all wish we were banging a CT.”
Until you get one. It freaks me out how many women openly dig violent guys, to the point of fantasizing about the guys getting violent with them. It gives fuel to the “well she wanted it anyway” misogynist types when women actually get battered. If a guy started punching smaller, defenseless people in the face for no reason (which is all CT has done so far) I’d be disgusted. It might be “hot” if he had the balls to take on someone his own size for a worthy cause.
Sorry if I’m overthinking it. I just find bullies like CT gross and pathetic, and I don’t get why other women reward that behavior. It takes all types I guess.
@spinal11 – Thank you! I was getting a little queasy reading the comments but was a little afraid to say anything about it and be that guy, or whatever. But seriously people. Violence is not okay.
@ Liz -
Thanks dude, nobody wants to come off as a humorless asshole but this stuff just bugs me! Anybody who randomly beats people into a “medically induced coma” is getting a damn pink slip from me, not reward sex. I like a strong, dominant man as much as anyone, but usually that involves leadership and protection, not pathological violence toward weaker people. I guess this show offers slim pickings with the male eye candy though!
@angelbayyb, “DRINK EVERYTIME u hear the phrase “balls to the wall” … “under the bus” and a cast member saying “myself”
omg, these people and using “myself” in their confessionals…what gives? It’s gotten to the point I no longer know the correct usage of “myself”. Possibly I watch too much of this sh*t.
Anyway, all the drinking game suggestions in the recap and comments are great, I will definitely partake this season!
Can they do THE CHALLENGE: EXES and pair up with ex girlfriends/boyfriends? Pretty please MTV?
@Spinal I was trying to make a joke…emphasis on trying!! I do 100% agree with you about violence against women, and am sorry my comment was offensive. I was going for the cheap laugh. I’ll stick to my day job! For the record, I married a nice guy and enjoy banging him very much.
Wow@spinal, I took the comments as jokes! I am a woman and think that any violence is wrong. But, you will see my comments stating otherwise. This site is about having fun while reading about your favorite shows. No one(at least to my knowledge) takes this site seriously…..taking everything at face value. Sheesh, according to this site half the recappers are raging alcoholics:)
Just my two cents – I just genuinely believe that our society in many ways promotes violence and especially violence against women, and I have a hard time stomaching any contribution to that. Just as much as I don’t like racist jokes or rape jokes. I like the funny and the snarky, that’s why I like these forums! But, when it’s something that has serious consequences in the real world, I have a hard time with that. I mean, CT genuinely has beaten people in the real world (no pun intended), and women are assaulted at alarmingly high numbers (which also means that an alarmingly high number of men are physically assaulting women in this country). That’s just my two cents.
I personally vow never to get too deep on here so violence aside, I don’t understand the magic spell CT puts over people. Not only do I not find him hot, I don’t find him remotely attractive, plus he needs a translator (case in point, I also thought he said Mandi was okay because of her “big-ass head” but I’m fairly certain it’s “big-ass hair”). You peoples is crazy.
Also, I’m glad TJ Lavin is okay but that doesn’t mean I want him as host again. Bring back Jonny Moseley!!! Oh, he’s actually done things with his career and commentates stuff like the Olympics now, you say? Well, fine…..
Adam/Ty fight definitely not staged— Adam BEEEEGGGGED to get back on after being such a dumbass 2.5 seconds in. Plus even though we all LOVE the Leeroy/Mike Bromance… it really does defeat the purpose… Loving the start of this season!
I would totally hit CT.
With my car.
Liz I am completely with you, you too Judgy Wudgy. Except for the TJ part, I love him, and really love when he gives people who suck/give up/bitch a hard time!
Back to welfare for poor Robin. She misses her son so much but had to leave him to whore herself out on more time. Get a job = well said
I have too much of real life to keep me serious so when I can just be silly and release I do thus my CT fantasy. In no way to I condone violence etc but I also don’t come to this site for intelligent and insightful debates (no offense flippy I love ya like a play cousin ). My point is my comments are only meant to be funny by those who find them funny and in no way offensive to those who don’t. We all like/love horrible people in real life but that is if you are being completely honest. So I’m going to just move on ….
@considerthis drink every time someone claims to be on the show to make a better life for a wife new kid or fiance
CT also punched Davis in the face one time – but denied it. I wonder that Davis thinks of CT on the show with him.
“Has Paula ever seen a final?”
Yes. She’s seen three of them. There was The Inferno III, The Gauntlet III, and The Island. Each final she lost.
Hey everyone! I just have to say I love these challenges, and I don’t care if they are too old to play or that I’m too old to watch. I must say, this is the only show that I still watch/still comes on that I have been watching since high school.
I love the rival format, and I love the drama. I also love all of the comments. You know I have always thought CT cute, but not attractive until this season when he is more mellowed out. I wonder how long it will last.
Can’t wait for this season. Awesome recap!
Faye – I’d hate you for trying to steal my boyfriend, but I can’t b/c I’m going to steal your fantasy. So, I figure we’re even.
Go glad this show is going to get a recap! Vevmo already revealed the winners, but I could care less. It’s the booze-soaked trainwreck that matters!
@enrique’s mole .. first awesome name. Second something tells me CT shares his love so its enough of him for both of us!
Ahem, the three of us!
I also am guilty of being on the CT-is-hot bandwagon. Shoot me, I can’t help it. But, I do seem to be the only one to love Wes too. Not in any way do I find him attractive, but it must be that he’s the only one to ever tell the douchebag trio to suck it. I really, REALLY cannot stand those three, ugh…
@butterball, the exes idea is fantastic! They would have a lot of scenarios there.
Bratty – I like me some Wes, too. Not as much as CT, who I would lurve to tear apart, but I can appreciate Wes’ doucheyness. On TV. In person, I’d most likely punch him in the throat.
Add that we drink everytime someone says “at the end of the day”, I hate that saying. There should be a fine for anyone saying it because it’s so overused on MTV reality shows…”At the end of the day”…like it’s some kind of justification for doing or saying crappy things. What? Why did I kill my neighbor? because you know “at the end of the day” it was just that they were getting on my nerves.
Oh yeah, I find CT extremely hot too…not the whole violence thing but good gawd he is fine to look at. I kind of find myself attacted to Kenny too so maybe it is the whole a$$hole thing. Wes grosses me out and he’s an a$$ too so who knows.
Mr. Beautiful is HOT although he is the Vice President of the Axis of Ass. I used to tolerate them until they recruited Derrick who was so desperate to finally win that he decided to join the forces of evil. I am hoping the new crop of challengers will finally stop the reign of K’evan, Johnny, Ev, Laurel, Derick Dynasty. Wes is no match for them as he is so freckled and unlikeable, no one takes him seriously.
Agreed on two counts:
1) people who say “At the end of the day” should have their livers removed with a spoon. And should be given no stick to bite on during the process. “Literally” is actually worse right now. Count the next five times some dillhole uses the word literally… all five times, dillhole will be using it wrong.
2) All this “CT might slap me around,” or “Kenny is complete mo-fo and that makes me moist!” is a little eewy. Yeah, yeah. You were only joking. Except there’s enough truth to it that anybody can see the bad-boy attraction dysfunction is still alive and strong in the female species.
And: Ha! Freckles are Wes’s weakness! They act as an unlikeability multiplier.
@notwithoutmytv – in my Peter Griffin after he was injected with the gay gene voice GGGGGUUUUIIIILLLLLTTTTEEEEEE. There are two types of women that I know – those who love Fonzi and those who love Richie … I’m a Fonzi girl
WOOHOO! Hi VA and all of the lovely Challenge viewers. Is it sad that I have been unpatiently waiting for the show and recap to start?!
So glad Adam got kicked off the first night, although I forgot how much I disliked Ty. At least he made fun of Laurel, who I think has no filter when she gets drunk and makes catty comments b/c she is so insecure.
MIKEMIKE IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that made you happy, VA. Your favorite bromance is back. I was very confused b/c this is supposed to be a “Rivals” challenge and Leroy and MM are bff’s. Gah, I hope they blow everyone out of the water and win everything.
Whew, lots of love/ (& some)hate for CT in the comments. I can not stand CT. He is good looking but 1- his Boston accent is the worst, 2- he is such an awful human being.
Obviously, he has learned nothing from his brother’s death b/c he was scheming by the end of the 1st episode.
I am rooting for Jenn and Mandi, mostly b/c I like Jenn, and Leroy and Mike b/c it’s Leroy and Mike. As long as Sarah doesn’t jump on her high horse, I might go for her and Katelynn.
Glad MTV brought back the ones we (I) love to hate – Evan, CT, Bananas, Wes, Ty, Kenny, and Jonna. I can’t remember if Jonna has been on a challenge previously, but I never trust a girl who is only friends w/ guys and can’t keep a girlfriend.
“Kenny. The bacon years.” Love it!!!
I doubt anyone’s reading this far down but allow me to point something out. The “Rivals” idea was hatched well before the executives at MTV decided to steal the idea. It was actually posted on “The Sports Guy”s mailbag. Here…
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100528
“Q: I have an idea for the greatest season of the “Real World/Road Rules Challenge” ever. It’s called “Mortal Enemies.” The premise is simple. Teams of two: guy/guy, girl/girl. Instead of selecting your teammate, players are forced to compete with the person with whom they’ve had the most conflict over the years. It would be like watching the NBA if the entire league consisted of the 2004 Los Angeles Lakers. With teammates loathing each other, the possibilities for drama, backstabbing and hate sex explode exponentially.
– B.J., Brooklyn, N.Y.
SG: I threw the “Mortal Enemies” idea at the Czar of Reality TV, Dave Jacoby. Here was his take: “Come on, the guy is from Brooklyn, so you know I am going to co-sign this idea. We do need to dump the ‘Mortal Enemies’ title and change it to ‘Frenemies’ since some suit at MTV will have a 16-year-old daughter that will tell him to do that, anyway. So call it ‘Frenemies’ from now on. My big add: For the first couple challenges, the cast needs to think that it is ‘every man for themselves’ so the producers can identify exactly who hates each other the most. Two girls threw drinks on each other? Teammates. One guy found out another guy made out with his lady? Teammates. That gives us the scene when everyone panics after realizing the rules have been changed on them, then panics a second time when realizing they’re stuck with a frenemy. Other than that, solid idea and I love it. Just make sure there are enough stripper poles. I’m tired of seeing the cast live in these souped-up mansions without a stripper pole; there should be one in every room of the house. Huge oversight.” That’s why he’s the czar.”
Wow DTC, you took the words out of my mouth. “At the end of the day…” has been sooo overused for the last year or so on reality and its been driving me crazy, every time I hear it I get the urge to throw something at my tv. The worst part is that 3/4 of the time it doesnt even make sense when its said!
To clarify, I only recently began to find Kenny attractive. I have hated him for years due to his misogynistic ways and complete lack of respect for pretty much all females. The last few challenges he has really mellowed out in that respect which has allowed me to finally appreciate his physical beauty. On TV. In real life he would not even pop up on my radar, but since there is no chance in hell of me ever meeting him in real life he is definitely the most tolerable. With CT, I dont find him physically attractive at all, aside from being a psychopath, he just grosses me out all around. But not nearly as much as Wes. I generally don’t like pasty white nor roided up dudes, I like the pretty boys, hence why Kenny has finally lured me into he claws. What a jerk! CT reminds me of all the dudes at the gym that make the gym an awful unpleasant experience that I dread every time I go there, I love working out, but hate the gym.
I used to looove Frank as well, and I know he wasnt super popular. By the way, whatever happened to Noor? I was soooo looking forward to seeing him in more challenges. Aside from Ivan, he was the first person that seemed like a decent person in real life that I would actually enjoy being around and could hold a real conversation with. I really hope he returns! Lovin all the chattin here, its definitely going to be a fun season!
Misuse of the word “myself” is an epidemic of immeasurable proportions on all reality shows. It popped up and has spread like wildfire. I too am forgetting how to properly use it and fear I’m becoming immune to its misuse b/c it is so prevalent.
Kenny’s fat pregnant Canadian girlfriend started the “myself” crap on the challenges …. That fat bastard looks like he never met a chicken he did not want to mcnugget
Noor! That guy did seem cool. But that probably means he has a chance of having a real life in the real world, and thus does not need to be on this show. Le sigh.
I also kinda liked Wes (not physically), but he was so pathetic and stupid on the last challenge he did, so, that didn’t last too long.
@faye – “looks like he never met a chicken he did not want to mcnugget” – Ha! Amazing.
I miss Noor too!!! He was actually…human.
One of my students (who needs NCLB or RTTT, we teachers have our priorities straight) told me that MTV originally wanted to cast Mike and Dustin as partners, but that MTV backed off, knowing that Even, Kenny, and Bananas, just to name the starters, would be relentless about Dustin’s conveniently selective memory. True?
Flybsbgirl- I loved Frank too. Another one to give a big f%*! you to the majority and good enough at the challenges to hang in there anyway. I’m a super competitive person, so can’t stand someone who can’t fight their own battles in these things. For example, Laurel. She is a c u next Tuesday and I can’t stand her, but atleast she kicks ass in the challenges and eliminations, unlike the douchebag trio and whatever chick decides to start doing Kenny to get to stay too. (Johanna comes to mind, ugh!)
Im just curious to know who in the preview credits to the season gets their inside exploded on a rock when some force of nature slams them into it. The only capable body would be CT, but we’ve had fakeouts before…however, im training to be a fitness consultant (junk food please!!!) and i can honestly say that despite my physique, im only the size of CT’s gi-normous leg. Roll on season!
Speaking of Kenny and being a fat kid, holy lactating breasts Evan. I think Evan ate Mark Long.
No!!!!!! Poor Mark Long. He was my original RR crush.