The Real World Is Not A Career!!!

This is the true story, of dozens of nobodies who were picked to live in a house and have their lives taped, and find out what happens when people stop being real, and start being really desparate and pathetic.

Yes, the ladies of the Bunim/Murray’s Real World and Road Rules….and Real World Road Rules Challenge….and Surreal Life….and any radio show that will have them, are jumping at the chance to take off their clothes. It’s unclear what exactly these women want to be famous for, but one thing is certain, few if any of them are content with letting that fifteenth minute tick away.

They don’t act. They don’t write. They don’t sing. They don’t dance. They just kinda exist on camera, saying lame things like “Go big, or go home.” Yet for some reason, the Real World and Road Rule cast, seems to have the inablity to move on. They become the 25 year olds who are still going to the highschool parties. Why can’t they just move on?

My Anti-RW/RR Rant after the jump. Probably not work safe if you work at Bunim-Murray.The Real World is, and I am being generous, a documentary. The participants are subjects in an experiment to see what happens when you force relationships upon strangers. When the producers add booze in an environment void of moral reprocutions, what you are left with is fairly entertaining television. The “participants” are then fortunate enough to become flash in the pan pop culture references. Occasionally their names become synonymous with douche-baggedness. If your are a Trishelle, your a drunk slut. A Miz is a meat head. A Coral is a bitch. And so on. But more often than not, they become someone you see at a club, a grocery store or walking in to a Payday Advance (my Justin Guarini sighting), and you think to yourself, where do I know him/her from? For some reason, these pretty guinne pigs seem to think they are needed in society. They simply won’t go away.

MTV has become a network for the young. Yet, Bunim-Murray is still using cast members from season 1 of The Real World. Meaning some cast members were on their show before many of the people watching Real World Road Rules Challenges were even born! John Murrays rehashing these casts, is as if I throw out expired milk, the grocer took it out of my trash, mixed it with other peoples expired milk, put it in a new container and sold it to my younger brother as new fresh milk. Sadly, week after week I, and many others are drinking this sour milk, cause their is no other choice.

I will go out on a limb and say that I don’t like RW RR challenges. The challenges are lame, Johnny Mosely is about as relevant as a Hamilton reference, and, most importantly, I don’t care about any of the players. They all bug me. As human beings go, they are pathetic. They are both full of themselves and empty at the same time. I’m not sure if that was very deep, or completely meaningless. These Von Dutch owning, newly manufactured vintage clothe toting, jump rope wearing fools are just…. well sad. So desperate for attention are they, and so unable to attain it via talent or hard work they just keep coming back. Trying to retain the good old days yet not realizing, that like a bald man with a bad comb over, you’re not fooling anyone.

Former, current and future Bunim-Murray cast members; I suggest you consider the show an experience, not a career. Enjoy it, embrace it and then move on. If you have more than 4 Bunim-Murray credits on your resume, and you still expect to be famous…I can safely say, it’s over. And you should probably move on. If not for you, then for the sake of your family and eventual kids. It’s one thing to be made a fool for a season, but to be made a fool for a DVD Box Set worth of humiliation…well that’s gonna effect your family for generations.

The upside to all this is that several of the castmembers, most recently Tonya Cooling, eventually realize that their beauty is in fact only skin deep and decide to grace the pages of Playboy. What follows is a recap of the some of the more memorable Bunim-Murray beauties showing off their most valuable assets, before they too fade with the years. NONE OF WHICH ARE WORK SAFE. So to the ladies of Bunim Murrays shows, we have have now seen you through several seasons and fully nude….so please you have nothing else to offer us, go back to school and make a difference.

The Tonya Collection

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The Random Collection

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Sadly, the days of the Pedro’s are over and for every Jaquese they bring on the show, there will be a dozen Tonya’s and Coral’s. I just wish these people would realize ultimately what this show reveals is what happens when stop being interesting and start being punch lines. The Real World.