We Say Goodbye to the Inferno II

After the very, very crappy Battle of the Sexes 2, Bunim/Murray redeemed themselves with the much-improved, dare I say genius, Inferno II. Now that the season is over and the Goody Guys have won, it is time for the traditional reunion show where everybody had to fulfill their contractual obligations a chance to have their voice heard. In previous years, we would find ourselves on some crappy MTV set with an even crappier third-rate MTV personality acting as moderator. This year, the reunion show consists of a bunch of interviews that are spliced together. Not the same thing, but it still works.The reason the interview format works is that each person can give an hour or two of their time, and the editors can trim the cast responses as necessary to make sure that there are plenty of comments out of context so people will hate them, or hate them more as the case may be for some. With the old discussion forum style, they probably had a two or three hour show that they had to try and edit out the pointless drivel (and with this group of people, there is plenty of that) and try and get things they thought were on topic. Well, no more of that.

First among the complaints for a lot of people was the whole “Good Guys” vs “Bad Asses” designation. Many people complained that many of the Good Guys were just as bad as they were with Robin and Brad getting arrested during their season and Landon’s horse incident. As one person put it, perhaps it should have been called “Bad Asses” and “Badder Asses.” First “good” and “bad” are really subjective terms. I could tell you that I think I am smarter than anybody who was on Inferno II, and when you think about it, that wouldn’t be a huge accomplishment. But, if I called somebody a bigger skank than any I saw on Inferno II, suddenly that means something, because the skanks were all around.

Anyway, before I ramble, the first thing on everybody’s mind, or at least the first thing the producers wanted us to think was on everybody’s mind, was the hookups and how they took place. Basically, everybody is a hookup monster. Everybody is attractive, there is plenty of booze, you just expect people to hook up. Tina had a good point, perhaps the first one ever, when she said the thought of it was like a lot of bacteria in a pool. You never know what you’ll come up with if you decide to go down under. Therefore, it was kind of disappointing to find out that there were no really big hookups this season.

No hookups?! Not even with Tonya in the house? Well, Tonya actually did try and make out with Landon, but Landon either had second thoughts or realized how filthy Tonya was. And speaking of how filthy Tonya was, I am going to give CT some props for pointing out that while Veronica and Rachel made it a point of telling people what a little whore Tonya was, Tonya was not the one who was filmed having a threesome in the shower. [Veronica and Rachel had a threesome with Abram on The Gauntlet - ed.]

After the hookup talk, we got to spend some time on Rachonicina, and their role in the house, which I believe was finding the weakest person in the house and trying to gang up on them. Tina said that they intimidated a lot of people, which was true, but she says they were all intimidated because they knew that the three of them weren’t there to hook up, at least with any of the boys. It had to be one of the funniest lines during the whole show. Even though a lot of the guys were desperate, I am sure they would have humped a hole in a cactus before finding Tina appetizing.

I have an alternate theory to suggest. People weren’t intimidated by the three girls as much as they despised their presence. And the other people in the house despised Rachonicina not because the three girls wouldn’t hook up, but because they were mean, backstabbing bitches who cared about nobody but themselves and whose every utterance was laden with mountains of hypocrisy. Again, I am not trying to defend Tonya, but why would Veronica take pictures of Tonya while she was sleeping naked? Yes, Tonya has been in Playboy, and she will flash her boobs to anybody, but at least give her the option of when to expose herself. If there is a good chance that she is going to get naked anyway, why take the picture? The only reason is that you want to piss her off.

Some of you may say that these girls are just playing it up for the camera, and they admitted that many of the fights were staged. Apparently, Beth was one of the masters of staged fights, often waiting to get into full makeup and for the cameras to get ready before she really got down to business. But if you were playing it up for the camera and knew what you were doing, why act so surprised when people think you are bitches in real life? About the only thing redeeming about this whole thing was that Tonya said she put Veronica’s toothbrush in the toilet. Sounds like a good prank, but Veronica said Tonya didn’t do it because if she had, Tonya would have let everybody know about it. Perhaps true, but if I am Tonya, I would have gone a different route. I would have found a hooker and let her use the toothbrush. If the hooker had any disease that Veronica didn’t already have, it would have been the gift that kept on giving. One well-placed Valtrex brochure, and you have a great way to instant paranoia.

Who has been doing Rachel’s makeup these days?

As evil as all of those bitches were, they weren’t the only people playing it up for the camera. For instance, when it was time for Karamo to go, he didn’t just completely give up. Apparently, there was a family situation, so he asked the Good Guys to vote him into the Inferno. They agreed, but asked him to throw his part of the mission, presumably because they thought it would cost the Bad Asses money. Because of the nature of the challenge, Karamo’s behavior didn’t cost his team any money. It did, however, give us a little bit of perspective into that big fight Mike and Landon had about who was going into the Inferno. Karamo agreed to throw the whole thing, so either person could have won. It also explains why Landon was such a bitch about going into the Inferno when he thought Darrell played unfairly during the crab challenge.

The rest of the show glossed over a bunch of other issues during the show. They covered the whole wedgie issue, which we already covered in much detail. What we didn’t get to see was that Brad got a little bit of revenge, on CT’s suggestion, by egging The Miz from the roof of their house. That wasn’t particularly interesting or original, but I did really like Brad’s impression of CT, which was spot on. Brad used plenty of time to accurately depict all of CT’s vast intelligence and knowledge. As you might have guessed, it was a very short imitation. We also got a rehash of the Derrick/Landon fight and the aftermath that ensued. The only thing that was new was a few more comments about how stupid Landon looked with his hair cut that way. The biggest news that I heard was that Beth had filed a civil suit against Tonya stemming from the whole “You threw my shit in the pool” incident. Tonya showed no remorse, despite the fact that she complained about being treated the exact same way by the rest of the girls for the remainder of the season once Beth left. Maybe her lawyers didn’t want her to say anything because it would be an admission of guilt or something.

So, we wrap up what can be considered a great season. The producers have been tweaking the challenge formats with almost no discernible difference in outcome for a few years, but it looks like they came up with a decent combination this time. Hopefully, for the next challenge they will learn from what went well this season so we can avoid another Battle of the Sexes II Debacle.

Perhaps the saddest part of the evening was learning that The Miz has officially retired from the challenges. If that wasn’t enough, Veronica and Rachel said they wouldn’t show up either. At this point, I was starting to turn fairly pale. Without them, who am I going to make fun of the next time a challenge shows up? Coral, please come back! Soon, my fears were relieved by Tina’s soothing voice (figuratively, not literally, of course). She reminded us that there would always be people who would volunteer for the show. Why? It wasn’t about the money, it was about the competition, which was only slightly more ridiculous than her hook up statement. As long as people are as out of touch with their own realities as Tina, there will always be the hope of entertaining reunion challenges.

Any thoughts on the news from this episode? Will we miss Veronica and Rachel? The Miz? Which Bunim/Murray alums do you want to see for next time?