The entire world watched last week’s Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Inferno 2 and was giddy in anticipation of one of the truly great events of our time – seeing Veronica eliminated. The Bad Asses were shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, to learn that Veronica was nominated. When they learned that Jodi had called another name other than who the Good Guys had voted for (thanks producers!), they became downright upset. In true reality fashion, they ganged up on Jodi until she started crying. But Jodi had a chance to shut everybody up once and for all, she just needed to put an end to Veronica and the world would be a happy place.Has anybody ever noticed how much people in these challenges like to say “It’s on!”? I know that they aren’t particularly smart or original, but can’t they come up with something better than “It’s on!”? Our Bunim/Murray prospects come on these challenges for a few weeks at a time, but most of the rest of their existence is spent trying to be hipsters in Los Angeles. They know people are going to be watching them, why not hire a writer and practice some lines? I’ll even give them free advice on how to find one. Simply go to the nearest Coffee Bean or Starbucks and look for the person pretending to be busy working on something on their laptops. But you must be sure not to confuse them with the actors and actresses pretending to be busy reading scripts – they won’t do you any good.
Sorry about that, I just had to get it off my chest. The Bad Asses officially let it be known that it is on. Continuing with the reality clichés, Rachel said that “the game has just begun”. Again, I understand why the Bad Asses are upset, and to them, this little tactic of Jodi’s is the perfect thing to give them that self-righteous zeal to further humiliate the Good Guys. Although Jodi is clearly shaken, she really only needs the support of her teammates to feel good about herself, or at least that’s what she is saying to the camera. If it came down to physical ability, Jodi wouldn’t have to worry about being eliminated. Unfortunately, she just doesn’t have that killer instinct that tells you to crush your enemy without regard for their well-being. That killer instinct is what Veronica, despite all the bad things I say about her, has in abundance, and it serves her well in the reunions.
The competition this week was fairly straightforward and it was named “Zip Up”. The “Zip” was derived from the fact that there was a one hundred foot zip line involved, and the “Up” is because each contestant had to pull themselves as far up that zip line as possible. Each person would get two minutes to pull themselves up as far as possible, and the team with the most accumulated distance would win the $10,000. And this week, the person who pulled themselves the farthest from each team would win a life saver and a 42″ plasma screen.
When the plasma screen was announced, that pretty much insured that every person would be doing their best to win. There was talk about throwing the game in Veronica’s favor, but that was quickly scuttled once the guys learned that there was a plasma display involved. I personally don’t think that there was any chance they would have thrown the mission even if there wasn’t a plasma television involved. When the Bad Asses through the mission to save Tina, they thought they could win by giving the money away. It was only after they learned that there was an extra wrinkle to the game and they lost. So, the Bad Asses might have learned a little lesson, but they certainly weren’t going to forego $10,000 to save Veronica, even if they were $30,000 ahead of the Good Guys. There was no way to help Veronica without hurting the whole team.
In the early going, it looked like the Good Guys were going to get thumped yet again. Although you use your arms to pull you up the zip line, the key to success was to wrap your legs around the zip line behind you to help you support your weight. In the initial battle of the Miz versus Abram, Mike was in a bad position, dangling from his arms. Mike is jacked and works out a lot, but Abram seems made for shit like this and Abram really beat down on the Miz in this one. The good made up some ground on some of the next several pairings, but lost ground on an equal number as many. In the end it came down to two pivotal battles.
Jodi just happened to sign up to go opposite of Veronica, and you could really feel the tension. Jodi needed a confidence booster, and the Good Guys needed her to do well just to make up some ground. I didn’t think that there was any chance Veronica would win, and not just because I am biased and think she should step in front of a bus (or car or rickshaw for that matter). No, it’s just that Veronica has had problems with zip lines, especially in the Inferno. It was just about a year ago that Julie, in a desperate attempt to win, tried to unstrap Veronica from a harness while they were suspended a few hundred feet in the air. Veronica didn’t have Julie to worry about delaying her (Julie had her own problems in the air, begging god to help her with nearly every muscle movement she made), but she did have trouble in this challenge. Jodi completely demolished Veronica, giving the Good Guys hope.
After Brad had gone, the Good Guys were a little bit ahead, at least by my calculations. The Good Guys, however, failed t o carry a one or divide by the square root or something, because they still thought they were behind going into the last pairing. Granted they might not have been working with the “official” scores and the producers likely would have removed any sort of mention that they were ahead by any large margin because they wanted to leave some drama for the end.
Normally, if you asked me what I thought about an event that featured CT and Landon, I would say “that must have been a good nap” or “So how did that rege-aholics anonymous meeting go”. Since we didn’t know(or pretended not to know) who was ahead or by how much, this match up wasn’t half bad, and both wanted to win that Dell TV (Landon had to beat Brad, and CT had to beat Derrick) . Landon must have a little Tarzan in him, because he rocketed up the zip line, completely destroying all of the other people on his team and securing the first really easy victory for the good guys, and their third win overall. Good job Landon. That extra class of “Postmodern Zip Line and Its Meaning to Neo-Structuralism” you took in your seventh year of college really paid off. Oh, and those steroids. Did you see Landon after he was done? All I could think of is “The Juice is Loose”. And admit it, they are in Mexico. All you need to do to get some steroids is to know how to say the word. Both Landon and CT were the top performers for their teams, but I am sure that is just PURE coincidence.
Landon Smash good! Landon win Plasma!
The Inferno looked like it was going to be an interesting battle. Jodi has the confidence of beating Veronica earlier and athletic ability, but Veronica really performs when she is under pressure. She would much rather back stab and comment about people behind the protection of her team, and especially Rachel’s overbearing attitudes, but I have to give her credit for sucking it up and getting the job done more often than not.
For the inferno, the two girls played “That’s a Wrap” (by now you readers should be chuckling slightly after realizing the sheer genius of this recap’s title). In it, they were trying to roll a long length of cottony type fabric off a spool, and when they were finished, they had to knock down a banner. The first to knock down their banner would win. This sounds kind of easy, but the spools were as tall as they were, and they had to spin the fabric off of these spools by spinning in place and wrapping it around their own bodies.
As the two girls got started, Jodi’s teammates were really trying to encourage her. It looked like she didn’t have a good strategy and they tried to shout some suggestions to help her out. All of the shouting must of gotten to her, because she lost her concentration and fell over. By the time she recovered, she was not the same, and Veronica won without too much suspense.
The Bad Asses were very happy, and I am sure that they took Veronica’s win as some sort of cosmic justice for the tomfoolery Jodi and the good guys participated in by changing the vote at the last minute. To tell you the truth, the Good Guys should vote Veronica every single time. Although Jodi was eliminated, their nomination of Veronica really caused the Bad Asses to lose focus. If they were ever to eliminate Veronica, Rachel has already said numerous times that she would likely fall apart if Veronica wasn’t there. The Good Guys sort of felt defeated. Jodi was the most physically intimidating of their remaining girls, so she will be missed in the challenges. Then again, she has shown a habit of choking under pressure, and that is something that you want to avoid, especially in the Inferno. Jodi was the top female performer in zip up, but Julie was second, and we know she has no problem taking bitches down when she has to.