Recap: Totally Dunzo

The Hills

By B-Side | Tuesday, March 6, 2007 | 4:43 pm | 287 Comments

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that it would be damn near impossible to follow up last week’s triumphant episode of The Hills, which was so exciting and awesome and thrilling that it has inspired (at press time) a record 1016 comments on the recap. I mean, how could any episode compete with the intoxicating blend of betrayal, treachery, and intrigue caused by Spencer, Heidi, and their unwitting accomplice, Jenn Jenner? It was all so wonderful and amazing that in some ways, it was difficult to come back down to Earth and return to the more manufactured drama we’ve become so accustomed to. That’s not to say this installment wasn’t entertaining. Far from it! We had some much-welcomed face time with Lisa Love, an appearance from her haughty contemporary Lawren Howell, and the grand reality debut of Whitney’s younger sister, JADE. Plus, how could we not revel in the sheer joy of The Hills knowing that just hours prior, J-Wahl had been arrested for the umpteenth time this year. We can only hope the same fate befalls Spencer by this time next season. Nevertheless, while The Hills may not have lived up to last week’s powerhouse episode, I still love it, and since this is actually my last recap for the site, I can think of no better way to end my TVgasm career than by recapping this most guilty of pleasures.This week’s episode began with the usual, brief recap of the previous show, which meant once again we could witness the unforgettable sight of Jenn Jenner proudly wearing a tiara at her birthday party, not realizing the hellfire she was about to be submerged in. Even better though was revisiting the monumental clash at the Hillside Villas. How great it was to watch Lauren lay into Heidi all over again, repeating those cathartic words that we’ve been saying all along: “He’s a sucky person. HE’S A SUCKY PERSON!” I probably could have watched this ten second clip fifty times in a row and still not have been sick of it.

Anyway, once the recap was done, the first thing we saw was Heidi and Spencer sipping coffee on the Sunset Strip, mere footsteps from the TVgasm home offices yet again. Damn this show, taunting me with its close proximity and yet keeping me an eternal distance away. It almost feels like I’m strapped to one of those vertical turntables and MTV’s throwing darts of Hills goodness at me. They keep missing me, but one of these days, I’m sure I’ll get poked right in the face. Of course, in the metaphor, that would be a bad thing since bodily harm would most certainly ensue. Maybe I should reevaluate just how beneficial a Hills run-in would be to my life…

Nevertheless, Spencer was looking like a douchebag in full bloom, and once again, he was wearing his giant, clunky necklace, which has somehow gone unmentioned all season. Well, to paraphrase the show’s title, enough was enough. He’s been attempting to rock that bulky chain of abhorrence no matter what the outfit, and it’s never failed to look absolutely ridiculous. For some reason though, it just looked completely idiotic last night — a heavy, imposing accessory to his otherwise lowkey polo shirt. It was clear that he was trying to force some sort of fashion trend on America. You know that he planned it all out — he was gonna wear that chain on every episode, people would think it’s cool, and he’d be hailed as the man who brought Ugly Necklace Chic to America. Actually, he probably was just trying to promote his dumb jewelry business, Archangella — a collection that specializes in ghastly, tacky, faux-gothic items that not even the cheesiest mall shop would purchase. I can just imagine Spencer taking his collection to Spencer’s Gifts and saying, “C’mon, bro. My name is Spencer. You’re Spencer’s gifts. It’s a perfect match. I’m on Team Spencer!”

Team Tacky!

And, of course, it goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway) that the mere fact that Spencer would so conscientiously use Heidi’s MTV exposure to promote his chintzy costume jewelry just calls his sincerity with her into question all over again.

Anyway, Heidi told her balloon-faced boyfriend she needed to spend more time with Lauren, on account of their ailing friendship. Spencer’s response probably should have been something supportive like “Okay, I respect that you need to keep time in your life for your friends,” but since he’s a manipulative douchebag, he instead tried to drive a wedge between the two girls yet again. “You have a roommate that looks at me like the plague,” he said, not sure if he was referring to Lauren or THE REST OF AMERICA.

Ever the optimist, Heidi insisted that Spencer’s bubonic qualities were wildly overstated. “I really think she’s gonna come around,” she said, perhaps forgetting that Lauren has what I like to call “A BRAIN.”

Nevertheless, sensing that Heidi might have been drifting back to Team Lauren ever so slightly, Spencer lured her back the only way he knew how: showering her with a random compliment. “How cute are you today?” he asked, causing Heidi to predictably bask in the attention. I half expected Spencer to then seek out that nefarious Max and yell, “YOU SEE? WE ALL THINK HEIDI IS CUTE TODAY!!!”

Anyway, the scene ended with Spencer and Heidi canoodling and making plans for Santa Barbara. Yes, they really deserved a weekend getaway from their stressful, do-nothing lives.

After the opening credits, we learned the title for this week’s episode, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH,” which implied that either Heidi was dropping Spencer (unlikely), LC was dropping Heidi (more likely), or Ashes was going to claw out Bella’s eyes (most likely). Before we could really get to the bottom of all this, however, we headed over to Teen Vogue where our gals happily strode into Lisa Love’s office for a refreshing dose of haughty passive aggressiveness.

“I’m always wondering why you guys are in Spring, and I’m in Fall,” Lisa joked to the girls, adding, “CHANGE YOUR WARDROBE IMMEDIATELY! OUT!!!”

Anyway, Lisa informed them that they’d be working with Lawren Howell, the veritable Wendy Mallick of the Teen Vogue universe. Apparently she had a reputation for being very particular (a.k.a. she was a bitch) and precise (a.k.a. she was ornery). Lisa explained, “She’s someone that you will learn a lot from if you pay attention.” Whitney nodded aggressively, as if to say, “GOT IT!” Cut to ten seconds later as a spacey voice in her head asked, “Wait, why am I nodding again? Do I need to post a blank Stickie about something?”

Lisa then informed the girls that the magazine would need some fifteen or sixteen year old girls for the photo shoot. Did they know anyone? This was like asking if Whitney’s Bavarian Candy Shoppe sold katzenzungen. Of course they knew teen girls! In fact, Whitney had a younger sister who would be perfect for this, assuming her parents hadn’t plumped her up with a steady diet of spaetzle and schinkenwurst. Personally, I had no idea why Lauren was just sitting there, refusing to volunteer lil’ sister Breanna for this cushy job. What about Bre-Bre, Laur? WHAT ABOUT BRE-BRE???

Nevertheless, this looked to be a purely Wh-Wh-Wh-Whitney family affair, which was still quite exciting. I couldn’t wait to see her sister. What would her name be? Uta? Dagmar? LIESEL? Sadly, mini-Whitney’s name was more exotic and ill-fitting: Jade. For a brief second I thought that maybe she was the same Pan-Asian girl who made appearances towards the end of Laguna Beach 3, but the coincidences of that would be far too great. Anyhoo, Lauren and Whitney returned to their hovel of an office and discussed their impending tour of duty with miss Lawren, who had apparently worked directly for the one and only Anna Wintour.

“It’s one thing to work for Vogue,” Whitney said. “It’s another to work for Anna Wintour.” I couldn’t even imagine working that desk. Just think of all the blank stickies you’d have to post!!!

Whitney then had a rare moment of personal reflection as she sighed, “Another photo shoot. I wonder how many I’ve worked on…” She then added, “There was the cover shoot for Bavarian Candy Shoppe Quarterly and the four page spread for Klosterfrau Magazine. Oh, and Schwartenmagen Fancy. The list goes on…”

Turns out that Whitney had actually worked for W magazine for three summers and now was on her second year at Teen Vogue. Five years of experience and no job offers? That’s what you call encouraging! Nevertheless, Whit informed us, “I’m just ready to have more responsibility.” Well, if it was responsibility she wanted, then it was responsibility she got. None other than the tragically misspelled Lawren Howell entered the room and began detailing what she’d need from the girls on the photo shoot. First, she’d need organization, and lots of it. Also, she’d need to make sure there were no holes, tags, or dirtiness on the clothing after the shoot. Meanwhile, we could see Lauren crackling with anticipation, just begging to ask, “Might there be a magic candle that needs resuscitation? Because I can DEFINITELY do that!”

Most importantly, however, Lawren insisted that all items MUST be steamed! She warned, “If I grab a dress that hasn’t been steamed, and you guys are just standing there, that’s kind of, you know, a problem.” She then added, “The last girl I had forgot to steam a capelet. She’s dead now.” Behold Lawren Howell, MISTRESS OF THE STEAM!

Well, if there was anything that Whitney didn’t want to do, it was steam. Luckily Lauren took one for the team and offered, “I’ll steam!”

“I’ve done enough steaming in my interning career,” Whitney noted, clearly not realizing that Lawren might have been just around the corner. One can never be so loose with the words when the Steaming Gestapo might be listening in!

Ultimately, Whitney wound up sighing, “I’m just ready to be something other than someone’s intern, you know?” Yes, she was ready to make a splash in the world of fashion. You know, like falling down a staircase on national TV!

Later on, we headed over to the Hillside Villas where Lauren was quietly doing some sort of project assigned by Nick Verreos, I’m sure. Heidi entered the apartment, and after some awkward greetings, she asked, “You doing some homework?” Lauren said yes, causing Heidi to cluck, “Look at you!” She then added, “I forgot that you didn’t drop out of college immediately like me!”

A few moments later, Lauren trekked upstairs to Heidi’s bedroom and asked, “Heidi?” In one of the more bizarre responses of the season, Heidi honed her Swiss roots and replied with, yes, a yodel. I mean, how else to describe the warbly, lilting, “Yaaaaa?” that spilled out of her mouth. Anyway, Lauren was quite surprised to see the Heidster packing a little bag. She asked where she was going, and Heidi responded (sans yodel), “I think I’m going to Santa Barbara for a couple of days.” You think? How could there be any doubt about where you are going? You’re packing luggage. That would be like me getting on a plane to Paris and saying, “Hmmm… I think I’m going to Paris. Or maybe Nantucket. Come to think of it, maybe I’m just going to the drug store. We’ll see!”

Well, Heidi then asked Lauren, “You want to come to Santa Barbara?” Ah yes. The token sympathy invite. A most insulting and patronizing turn of events. Oh how I wished Ashes would come out of nowhere and attack Heidi’s face.

Of course, Lauren turned down this ever so sincere invitation; however, at Heidi’s urging, the two booked Monday evening to be a whole “Heidi and Lauren alone night.” They’d get massages, do their nails — all that fun stuff. Lauren looked positively delighted. Sarcasm intended.

The next day, we found Lauren and Audrina roaming around that mecca of cheesy luxury: The Grove. The two babbled about whatever, with Audrina informing LC that she was dating this guy Chris who was super nice and not like any other guy. Or something like that. Anyway, yada yada yada, Audrina wanted to set Lauren up with Chris’s roommate. LC was apprehensive at first, saying she didn’t want to do like a double date, but Audrina insisted it would be like a whole big group thing. Of course, this then begged a major question: what about Brody? Lauren merely brushed off the suggestion that the Brodester still meant anything, flinging her hand back dismissively as if to say, “He hath been cast away!” Excellent.

Audrina laughed triumphantly, and we could just see the hopeful optimism in her eyes that seemed to say, “I’m so going to be the first sidekick now!”

After the break, we found Speidi walking along the beaches of Santa Barbara, polluting the pristine environment with their unabashed awfulness. I’m sure the dolphins we saw jumping in the surf were not so much migrating as attempting to flag Heidi down and warn her to run far, far away from Spencer. Let’s not forget, dolphins are very good at detecting douchebags.

Anyway, as the two lovebirds walked, Spencer (whose hair was suddenly brown — curse of Don Antonio’s?) bemoaned Heidi’s reluctance to stay longer in Santa Barbara. He noted that if it were Jason and Lauren, Lauren wouldn’t leave. She would have called up Heidi and ditched her. That may or may not have been true, but the logic was completely flawed. Lauren was no longer in that relationship; so there was no basis for a comparison. The implication from the J-Wahl breakup was that Lauren had learned and changed from it (hopefully) and wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes. So in a sense, it wasn’t fair to say that Lauren would have acted in a certain way with Jason when in reality, she no longer maintained the same behaviors. Besides, even more simplistically, TWO WRONGS DON’T MAKE A RIGHT, BITCH!

Well, we then headed over to Teen Vogue where Lauren was busy informing Whitney of her upcoming date, er, group meeting with “Blake,” the hockey player roommate of Audrina’s guy. The conversation was soon cut short, however, when none other than JADE entered the office. Flaxen and Teutonic, Jade was certainly a hottie (although, later, I would downgrade her to merely “cutie”).

Little known fact: Jade is short for Jadenschfitzenstreudel.

Anyway, the three girls headed into another room where the Steam Queen herself awaited them. Yes, Lawren Howell quickly grabbed hold of Fräulein Jade and took her measurements, but not before alerting Lauren and Whitney that the room was rapidly becoming messy. I half expected her to growl, “Why are you not steaming? STEAM! STEAM! STEAM!”

That night, Audrina and Lauren prepared for their big night out with the boys. LC admitted that the rough and tumble nature of hockey players turned her on quite a bit, and Audrina, well, she was just excited to be cementing her role as Lauren’s #1 sidekick.

“I just want to meet my Prince Charming,” Lauren said, hopefully realizing that step one would have to be avoiding douchebags like J-Wahl and Brody.

Anyway, the girls arrived at the W Hotel, which was appropriate since this episode did seem to be brought to us by the letter W: W Hotel, W magazine, Wh-Wh-Wh-Whitney-centric storylines. The girls sat down at a table with Chris and Blake, and I couldn’t help feeling like Audrina had somewhat failed in her first task. Bitch, this was supposed to be a group thing, not a double date! Maybe the poor logistics explained why Lauren seemed less than enthused to be there. Blake made some banal patter about how he LOVED the W hotel and how he and Chris had known each other since sixth grade in Agora Hills and blah blah blah. To Blake’s credit, he seemed like a nice guy, but man, he was trying so hard. Amusingly, he asked Lauren where she was from. You idiot. Do you even bother Googling the girls you’re being set up with? I mean, she was in a television show based on a geographical location. Even Lauren looked embarrassed for him as she reluctantly said, “Laguna Beach.”

Well, everyone marveled over the menu, and Chris asked if they should get appetizers or just entrees (cheap bastard). Sensing an opportunity to make his mark with a funny, Blake offered, “Maybe we should just get dessert!” Rimshot! HIIII-larious, Blake!

The best part of all this, however, was when Chris blatantly recited a line fed to him by the producers. “So Audrina. The other night I was at Area, and I ran into that guy, Spencer,” he said so stiffly that he made Julie Chen look like the captain of an improv troupe. Well done, Chris. Well done.

Anyway, some mild Spencer discussion ensued, and Blake mocked, “Sounds like he’s a great guy.” Lauren’s face lit up with a huge smile as she laughed at Blake’s joke. All it takes is some minor Spencer bashing to open up her heart!

“Hey, you’re pretty cool after all! Now say something about J-Wahl!”

Despite the producers best attempts, there seemed to be absolutely no chemistry between Lauren and Blake, and not even multiple mentions of Sushi House could set off any sparks. Perhaps the guys should have taken the girls to Don Antonio’s — that place will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Nevertheless, when Audrina and Lauren drove off in their car afterwards, Lauren said she liked Blake and thought he was cute. Huh? Where did that come from? Ultimately, Lauren proclaimed, “I feel like I’m getting better at dating.” Well, pretty much anything is a step up after her last two duds. She could date a tree stump, and it would be an improvement.

After the break, we found Lauren and Whitney en route to the much-hyped Jade photo shoot. It looked to be a long day of work. I certainly hoped Whitney’s mother packed her daughters a healthy lunch of Hassenpfeffer and Westphalian Ham Lollipops!

Just prior to arriving, Heidi called up Lauren to find out if they were still on for Lauren and Heidi Night, which was kind of awesome because it was so obvious that Heidi was going to bail later (and not just because all the previews told us so). After the call, Lauren complained that it just wasn’t fun having to schedule a meeting with her friend. If she’s said it once, she’s said it a thousand times: every day should be Lauren and Heidi day!

Anyway, the girls finally showed up at the Los Feliz shoot, and shockingly, they were not immediately forced into turbo steamer service. That’s not to say Lawwwren wasn’t ready to crack skulls. Oh, no. Lawren was on top of Whitney from the getgo. ALL THE HANGERS GO THIS WAY, WHITNEY! MAKE THE PINS READY AND OPEN FOR ME AT ALL TIMES, WHITNEY!!! MAKE THE DOUBLE STICK TAPE STICKIER, WHITNEY!!! MAKE THE CLOUDS IN THE SKY PART, WHITNEY!!!! FIND A CURE FOR AIDS, WHITNEY!!!

“If only I had a blank Stickie to express my disappointment.”

If it was any consolation, Whitney wasn’t the only one getting the Howell treatment. Lawren unleashed on dearest Jade; although, since Jade was actually “talent,” Lawren’s brutality was masked in a passive-aggressive jokey-voice. “You are smushing your dress after I told you not to!” Lawren told the young model, just barely hiding her rage over the blatant case of dress-smushing.

Later on, while the two sisters were in the backroom doing whatever, Whitney complained about being Lawren’s bitch, saying that Jade got the better end of the deal, being the one on camera (unlike Whitney, who’s not on camera at all — except for that MTV reality show that she’s the cast member of). Nevertheless, Whitney noted that she wasn’t in a position to speak up ever whereas Jade could throw a bowl of mumma’s schlachtplatte at Lawren, and it would still be okay.

For a moment, it looked like Whitney’s fighting spirit might have wilted as she lamented, “As much as I love clothes, they’re only clothes.” WELL! Looks like somebody missed Meryl Streep’s big cerulean belt monologue in Devil Wears Prada. For shame!

Well, I guess all this talk about speaking up inspired Wh-Wh-Wh-Whitney to be aggressive, be-ee aggressive. As they were finishing up the day, Whitney approached Lawren, and, oh my god, she said, “I don’t mean to be difficult, but…” Oh Whitney, ABORT! ABORT! Say no more! Lawren will destroy you! But alas, she continued: “I have a farewell dinner for my sister tonighit; so we have to leave once Jade is gone.” Huh? Was Jade being shipped back to the motherland? Did she have unfinished business in the Alps?

Nevertheless, Whitney’s request — or statement of fact, technically — was duly noted… AND DENIED. Lawren didn’t get mad or fussy. She just simply nodded and said Whitney would have to stay at the shoot and finish up. Yeah, Whit, you probably should have mentioned all this before the very end of the day. Looks like she’ll be missing out on a glorious feast of hackbraten and tafelspitz. If it made Whitney feel any better, Lawren would be missing out on the highly anticipated Wendy Mallick Convention in Downtown L.A. WE ALL MAKE SACRIFICES!

Luckily, Lauren volunteered to stay later and pick up Whitney’s workload. Now that’s a true friend. With any luck, Whitney might make it to the farewell dinner in time for dessert, and as you might imagine, her parents’ Bavarian Candy Shoppe certainly produces the best pfeffernusse and gewurzplatzchen this side of Düsseldorf. Wouldn’t want to miss that!

**“Whitney! Go tell Jade that her fladle uberbacken are ready!”**

**“But Mother, what about my apfelpfannkuchen?”**

“Whitney, NEIN!!”

Later on, after all was done with the shoot, Lauren got on the phone and called Heidi — I think. I can’t remember because I was so distracted by the fact that she had one hand on the phone and one behind her head. A.k.a. she had NO HANDS ON THE WHEEL! OMG, people of Los Angeles — clear the roads! Lauren Conrad is coming through!

Oh wait, it actually wasn’t Heidi on the phone. It was Audrina. She was calling because she and the guys were going to Café Sushi the night. Might Lauren want to join? Sadly, LC had to say no, on account of it being Lauren and Heidi night. Audrina replied with a line she recited just a touch better than her boy Chris earlier in the episode. “Okay. Well, maybe another night,” she said woodenly, the MTV producer just inches away from her with big cue cards, I’m sure.

Well, Lauren returned to the apartment, and guess what? No one was there. Not even Ashes greeted her at the door. It was dark and empty. The only hint of human presence came in the form of a note left on the kitchen table. It was from Heidi, who apparently was not one for text messages anymore. Basically, she wrote that she was going to the movies instead. Dunh dunh DUNH! And worse, she was going to see Wild Hogs. THE BETRAYAL!!!

Okay, we don’t know what movie she and Spencer were seeing, but I imagine it probably had a lot of slide whistles and fart sounds. We saw the two of them buying concessions at the thrifty ArcLight movie theater in Los Angeles, a destination quickly becoming known for the place where girls on The Hills go on ill-advised dates (J-Wahl and Lauren season 1, anyone?).

“Heidi, I can already tell I’m going to be on Team Norbit.”

Back at the apartment, a dejected and crestfallen Lauren called up Audrina and said that she would in fact like to join for Sushi House. Blake will be thrilled! And just like that, the show came to an end, and so, sadly, does my TVgasm career. I’ll still be lingering around the comment boards and forums, but my recapping days are over. How awkward, ending a post with a farewell. These past three years have really been amazing. I never thought that the site would ever grow into what it’s become. I’m so thankful for all the opportunities it has afforded me, and even more so, I’m thankful to the readers who have really made so many of my dreams as a writer come true. Yes, I’m being a total cheeseball, but it’s true. As any writer will tell you, you live for the positive feedback of an audience, and the fact that people have been so complimentary and welcoming to my writing has been exceptionally amazing to me. I’m forever grateful for everyone’s kind words (and even the mean words too) because without you, I really don’t think I would have had the opportunities that I face now. I’m also immensely indebted to our other writers, who have all helped the site grow over the years. They really do deserve so much credit in the success of TVgasm. Anyway, it’s been a great run, and as a TV fan, interacting with the entire spectrum of the TV landscape — from fans to producers to actual cast members — has been invaluable. Thanks again everyone! Team TVgasm!

B-Side

Comments (287)
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287 Comments

1

PuffMatty

Posted March 6, 2007 at 4:54 pm

WTF??? B-side is now leaving???? I am done with TVgasm!! Where are you going? What is going on????
2

sg-dub

Posted March 6, 2007 at 4:54 pm

Love you man.

All the best and see you around.

-Steve
3

addicted076

Posted March 6, 2007 at 4:58 pm

Oh, no! J-Unit gone and now B-side, too? What a sad week for TVgasm (and me). I really only read B-side and J-Unit pieces, so this might be my last recap at TVgasm, too.
4

EdHill

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:01 pm

Good luck man, It was fun while it lasted.

Just remember, We’ll always have giada…
5

kristin_d_l

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:02 pm

…”and since this is actually my last recap for the site, I can think of no better way to end my TVgasm career than by recapping this most guilty of pleasures.”

WHAT???

This is poo.

I hope you’re moving on to bigger and better things, B-Side. You’ll be missed.
6

moodylupin

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:03 pm

My Goddddddddd!!!
Nooooooooo!!!!
The Curse of Don Antonio’s is STILL huanting the masterminds of J-Unit and B-Side!
This is truly sad.
=(
At least we gave you 1000+ comments … ohhhh, if only I knew!!!

We’ll miss you … after the news shock & anger feelings had left us.

All I can say is “release your inhibitions and feel the rain on your skin, blah blah blah, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten”.

Annnnnnd CUT.
7

elljay8

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:04 pm

B-Side, where the hell are you going?!?!
8

moodylupin

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:05 pm

BTW, Jason is going to jail.

“Laguna Beach” Star Will Go to Jail
Posted Mar 6th 2007 5:50PM by TMZ Staff
Filed under: Celebrity Justice

Jason Wahler, star of MTV’s “The Hills” and “Laguna Beach,” pleaded no contest today to one count of battery, and was sentenced to 60 days in Los Angeles County Jail.

Wahler, 20, and model Kristin DeLuca, 25, were arrested in September 2006 after an altercation on Wilshire Blvd. The two and a group of friends were driving on Wilshire when their vehicle was blocked by a city vehicle and a tow truck attempting to move an illegally parked car. The pair jumped out of their car and got into a verbal altercation with the city employee and the tow truck drivers. Wahler punched one of the drivers and DeLuca kicked the tow operator and spit in his face. The drivers called the cops after restraining Wahler. His blood alcohol level at the time of his arrest was .22 — nearly three times the legal limit.

Wahler pleaded no contest to one count of battery, and in addition to jail time, was ordered to attend 104 AA meetings, 36 hours of anger management classes, and to stay away from all of the victims. DeLuca pleaded no contest to one count of battery and was sentenced to 24 months of probation. She also must serve 15 days working on the road with CalTrans.

Wahler and De Luca must also participate in a one-day Museum of Tolerance program because of the numerous racial slurs they uttered during the incident.

Wahler has until May 4 to turn himself in.

In a related story, Wahler was arrested just this past weekend after cops say he “resisted a public officer” during a raid against underage drinking in a North Carolina nightclub.
9

BlondeGirl

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:05 pm

The curse of Don Antonio’s strikes again…

Sad to see you go B-Side. Thanks for all the laughs!
10

BayArea

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:08 pm

I cant believe BSIDE is leaving. Then my days with TVGASM are over because I only read his recaps. Real World, the challenges and anything laguna will never be the same for me. Even if the show sucked I knew I always had my BSide recap.

You’re not even gonna finish up the season??? SAD!!!!!!!!

Im not reading this recap until later with my wine BUT you will be missed.
11

HoneyBunny

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:09 pm

Thanks for the memories B-side…

hb
12

BrunetteGirl

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:12 pm

Oh man I feel like my whole world is falling apart. First J Unit and now B-Side.

Stupid Curse of Don Antonio’s!!
13

TinkerbellAPixie

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:15 pm

Thank you for sharing the amazing blend of your talent for writing and your love of television.

You will be thoroughly missed.

I’m gonna mute my television for 9 minutes. 3 minutes of silence to honor you, 3 for J-Unit and 3 for all the other talented writers who have moved on. I can think of no more fitting tribute.
14

flodence

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:15 pm

WTF B-Side? Can you at least let us know where we can read your new writing? Will I be able to find it in Australia? OMG – your recaps are better than the shows they are based on! Its a sad, sad day…
15

insertnamehere

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:15 pm

Wow. I can’t believe my two favorite tvgasm writers are gone now. So sad. Best of luck to you B-Side.

And great recap, of course.
16

PuffMatty

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:15 pm

BTW -

I have read the complete work of B-Side at TVgasm.

As such, I have not read this recap. Instead, I have printed it out, put it in a folder with a rubber band, and it will be the last thing I read before I die, brotha.
17

Ms. Tumnus

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:19 pm

I prepared an interpretive dance to express my grief and dismay over this sad (though not unexpected) news.

It’s marvellous. Wish you could see it.

Best of luck Ben. Keep us posted on your burgeoning career. We want to be able to say “we knew him when”
18

K Conrad

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:20 pm

Thanks for 3 years of GREAT recaps and lots of laughs. You are the best! Good luck with all your future projects. You will be missed.
19

BayArea

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:24 pm

…I with PuffMatty…Im printing it out.

Can you inform us where we can continue reading your work? Ive been reading this for years now. I feel so attached
20

LakerGirl

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:25 pm

I’m so bummed. I love your recaps and your different videos you did during the Laguna Beach days. Things won’t be the same around the Hills and Beach. Good luck to you B-Side!
21

flodence

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:26 pm

Hey K Conrad – can you give us a little something, we need a buck up after the sad news. Anything happening down at Laguna Beach we should know about? (or in LA for that matter…)
22

Jokerbaby4

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:26 pm

I’m gonna miss the J-Unit/B-side recaps, but I”m glad you guys are moving on.

I’ll always think of your airblogs whenever I fly Jetblue!

and Boooo to the people who say they’ll never go to the site again. the recaps are still hilarious, just give them a chance!

Anyways, I laughed when LC said that she’s getting better at dating b/c that date was soooo awkward!
23

sknilson

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:27 pm

I can’t believe it! I LOVED this site BECAUSE of B-Side and J-Unit. My husband regularly teased me because he could hear me snickering at the computer screen and he KNEW I was reading a B-Side or J-Unit recap. I don’t think I’ll be returning to TVGasm now. So sad. Best of luck to you B-Side!
24

D-Bag

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:27 pm

(crane shot as rain falls down)

DOOOONNNNN ANNNNTOOOONNNIIIIOOOO’S!

b-side, will you be handled by innovator management? i hear they’re looking to expand their roster of clients beyond the two they already have.

what’s the deal? are you working for the reality channel? i don’t get that channel.
25

Flipit

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:28 pm

NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

you rock this house, man. please just make it a little break.
26

addicted076

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:31 pm

Oh, hey, I might be back. I’ll probably be back. I just need a mourning period!

Is someone taking over The Hills recap duty?
27

tvfiend

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:32 pm

B-Side – It sucks that that was your last post. Sigh…The Hills won’t be the same without you!
This episode was pretty calm. I thought Blake was cute! You can tell Lauren is so over Heidi – she didn’t seem as affected when she was dissed AGAIN. Next week brings the return of LO! I’m so excited for that! Lo should kick Heidi-ho, Spence and his gaudy jewelerly to the curb!!!
28

flodence

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:33 pm

Laurens coming out with her own fashion line – just read it on Perezhilton.
http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=109&STORY=/www/story/03-06-2007/0004540821&EDATE=
29

flodence

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:35 pm

Something just got posted on Perezhilton about Laurens new fashion range…
30

BlondeGirl

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:37 pm

This is sucky news!

In my initial reaction I didn’t even think about the 24 recaps. How am I supposed to watch the rest of the season now, without the promise of a B-Side recap?

This is SUCKY news indeed.
31

kristin_d_l

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:45 pm

Regarding the episode, I don’t actually think it’s that big of a deal that Heidi ditched Lauren (it doesn’t really seem like Lauren does, either). I hate friends who think not spending time with them or flaking out on plans is akin to mass murder. I have friends like that, and I just end up resenting them, because they suffocate me.

Heidi has free will. She can do what she wants (she should have been less of a coward and called Lauren, but I can imagine why she didn’t want to have the “I’m choosing Toothy McDouche over you” conversation again). It’s not nice, but of course she wants to spend time with her boyfriend. She’s 20! Plus, if you feel obligated to hang out with someone, but don’t really want to, why bother? It’s like the “pity invitation.”

I think people might understand Heidi’s decision, though, because most people would rather spend time with Lauren than Toothy McDouche. In fact, most of us would probably rather spend time with Osama bin Laden.

Team B-Side!
32

kristin_d_l

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:48 pm

“I think people might understand Heidi’s decision”

Oops! That should have been “might NOT HAVE understood Heidi’s decision.”
33

omj75

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:55 pm

This is SUCKY NEWS B-side. Whatever/wherever you are heading, good luck! Be safe and enjoy, it truly has been a pleasure. BTW, good for Lauren cashing in on her notoriety, god knows MTV has made a mint off that young lady. If ever in Jersey B-side, look me up, the boys in blue out here party like rock stars.
34

copygodd

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:57 pm

sadly, all good things must come to an end.

IN MY PANTS!!

seriously, thanks for the shot, and, more importantly, thanks for the mammaries.

RAW IS B-SIDE!!!!
35

omj75

Posted March 6, 2007 at 5:58 pm

I almost forgot, Team Ashes and more importantly Team B-Side.
36

omj75

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:03 pm

BTW, Artie Lang is the man! Sorry, been a long shift.
37

Lime23

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:05 pm

wh-wh-whaaaaaatttttt??

what is going on here? Curse of Don Antonio’s, indeed.

You’re the absolute best & you’ll be missed, B-Side.
38

kristinsdrunknasalyvoice

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:06 pm

B-SIDE I LOVE YOU

From season 1 of LB to season 2 of The Hills, I have not missed a post and you have made every study break worthwhile.

UMmmm, PS Will you marry me? aaand can Open Air Stereo play at our wedding?
39

Ms. Tumnus

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:09 pm

Let’s try to make this the most commented on post EVER.

Keep em coming folks.
40

omj75

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:10 pm

J-Wahl is not going to do well in county. IMO. NO GOOD!
41

wheres_bella

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:12 pm

B-Side, you are one of the most talented writers I’ve come across in a long time, and I will be forever grateful for all the times your delightfully snarky and brilliant recaps brightened my dreary work days. I have no doubt that we will hear great things from you, but I do hope you’ll keep us posted! *Sniff sniff*

*Deep breath* Okay, so was anyone else terribly frightened by the fact that Lauren could barely see over her steering wheel? I’ve loved you since episode 1 of Laguna, LC, but that shit is scary, girlfriend! I’m hoping it may have been the camera angle, but all the shots of Lauren driving show barely her forehead and eyebrows peering over the dash!

Team Booster Seat!

And Team B-Side!!
42

sarah

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:23 pm

NOOOOO B-Side, you can’t leave I’m so sad. How am I ever going to enjoy reading another Hills/Laguna recap ever again?

Team B-Side! Make that into a shirt and I’ll be the first one to buy it!
43

TakingBackSunday

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:24 pm

Is it just me or were there absolutely no chairs at table in their apartment?
And that fake Audrina conversation on the cell really made me angry for some reason…
44

sassybella19

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:37 pm

NOOOOO B-SIDE!!!! you cannot be leaving!!! you havta at least come back for guest coloumn writings. This is the worst new i heard all day. Where are you going? I’m so bummed.
45

sarah

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:37 pm

Oh the irony of the title of the recap ‘totally dunzo’ and now b-side is dunzo at tvgasm. as you can tell, i am very distraught over this departure.
46

dsc805

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:37 pm

Sorry to see you go, B-Side. You’re the best.
47

poodle

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:42 pm

I’m going to miss your recaps SOOO much!
My favorite B-side line: (said to a waiter or waitress) “My name is B-side and I am known for my lavish tipping.”
I don’t remember the context or the recap that is from but I remember the hilarity that ensued after I read it.

Thanks for all the laughs!
48

poodle

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:46 pm

also, when did we learn the name of Lauren’s cat Ashes?
I must have missed that. I still thought it was Bella 2.0.
49

Mrs.Meow

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:54 pm

Wow, what a bummer, B-Side! Your re-caps were what first made me keep coming back to tvgasm. I will still be a loyal follower (but not quite a sidekick), but you will be missed. Good luck in everything you do in the future, and please keep everyone updated on what you are doing!

Now, re: the Hills. Seriously, Spencer is one of the yuckiest people I have ever seen. He just oozes sleaze. The chain was ridiculous – I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it until this episode.

On the plus side – from the previews next week…LO IS BACK! I was pretty much giddy when I saw that preview!
50

vividblurry

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:56 pm

OMG B-SIDE DON’T LEAVE US.
51

newtrino

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:58 pm

“As such, I have not read this recap. Instead, I have printed it out, put it in a folder with a rubber band, and it will be the last thing I read before I die, brotha.”

That is one of the most hilarious things I’ve read in a while.
Jeez, I just found TVgasm like last year and my two favorite recappers are gone? Is this some kind of sick early April Fools joke?
B-Side, way to bust out the real German in this recap.
52

mo_knows

Posted March 6, 2007 at 6:59 pm

In regards to B-Side: I can’t believe you won’t be recapping anymore! Where are you going?? You make me laugh so hard! Good luck!!
In regards to the show: I feel like so much of this was staged… from Audrina’s totally fake phone conversation, to Heidi’s note to Lauren (that just HAPPENED to be written in the largest print ever, so that we could read it on the TV) to Lauren’s non-reaction to Heidi ditching her, which just proves that it was set up or had already been dealt with before she got back to the apartment. That said, I thought that Blake guy was pretty cute, and seemed pretty normal, compared to all the other LA douchebags they are always showing. Bummed that there’s probably only two more shows left this season, and read that Whitney took an internship in NY, so if there is another season she probably won’t be on it, which sucks, I think she’s pretty cool/normal.
And, most important… next week- the return of Lo!!!!!!!!
53

mo_knows

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:03 pm

P.S. When Lauren & Audrina were at the Grove I noticed that Rocky Balboa was the movie on the marquee of the theatre, and since I can’t stand the editing on this show, I googled it to find out when it was released, and it was 12/20/06, and since the next episode deals with NYE, I guess this one was in sync. They’re off the hook this time….
54

ICTHUS

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:05 pm

WHAT????!?!?!?!?!?!?!
B-side you CANNOT leave. You are the only one I love reading. Where are you going? Please stay!
55

Jennifer30309

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:10 pm

YOU KILLED MISERY!!!!!!!

B-Side, I’m sad to see you go and with you and Joe gone I won’t be reading TVGasm anymore. At least it was a slow death and one we saw coming.

I hope you go on to wonderful things and keep us posted on your adventures, hopefully on another blog??

I can’t imagine not knowing what snack the old guy sitting next to you on JetBlue selects, whether you’ll find a Toblerone in time to make your flight, whether Veronica and Rachel snub you at Don Antonio’s, and whether J-Unit loses an eye to the Wii when the basket breaks. I’m sorry to see you go, and wish you all the best.
56

Bauer's Sweetheart

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:12 pm

I am going to spend all night crying. TVgasm has been my favorite website for over two years and now it’s all over. I’m like an addict who has lost her two favorite dealers.

B-Side, you are a great writer and I have tremendously enjoyed everything you have written. I’ll be watching for whatever you do in the future and I will cry every time they set up a perimeter or protocol on 24 – it just won’t be the same without you.
57

lovinlaguna

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:19 pm

I almost don’t know what to do with myself! I too have been a dedicated fan of B-Side and J-Unit. Laguna and The Hills were so much better because of them.

Unless Laguna Consultant is taking over for BSide, I’ll be peacing out too. It just won’t be as entertaining without you BSide…please reconsider!!!! Don’t leave us we need you!
58

lovinlaguna

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:21 pm

Or please please please finish out the season…don’t leave us right when it’s getting good!

I’m going to go wallow in my misery now.
59

lora

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:35 pm

Oh, Bside! I don’t understand why you are leaving so abruptly. What happened????

These recaps won’t be, CAN’T be as good without your unique spin.

I’m crushed.
60

jstar

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:38 pm

B-Side! WTF?! I cannot BELIEVE you’re leaving before the return of LO?! Oh my GAAAWD.

Why did you have to go out on such a boring episode? Damn you MTV!
61

LagunaConsultant

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:46 pm

This SUCKS

I’m not even in the mood to post about the show right now. I’ll get to that tomorrow I guess.

I’ve read the other recaps, and as much as I do enjoy SOME of them, they just aren’t the same. I’ve read other writers that seem to have the same sense of witty humor as me, but I swear I’ve never come across anyone who’s been able to take that humor and be able to put it into words so well. I hope your leaving to write for a major publication so I can still follow along with your columns. Best of Luck.

My only question tonight is who the hell is going to take over for you in the Hills and Laguna recaps??? Nothing against Unamata, but I really don’t feel like smearing 666 on my forehead, claiming I’m the antichrist and trying to hang myself with a bedsheet.
62

maybeimamazed02

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:49 pm

B-Side, let me just say this: you’re the only blogger to whom I have written a fan e-mail. And man, was it a dorky email. Thanks for your short but sweet response, btw.

Best of luck to you and J-Unit. I started reading TVGasm for your Laguna recaps and now it’s my favorite website and time-killer (even more so than You Tube!).

Don’t forget about your pals in the ‘Gasm universe, and thanks for bringing a bunch of Hills-loving dorks together!
63

newtrino

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:49 pm

Hey, what a great idea! LagunaConsultant should do the recaps now. Barring that, Chee-Z-TV Addict (sp).
64

Miss Information

Posted March 6, 2007 at 7:56 pm

I’ve never declared my love or proposed, but I certainly understood all the women who did. My worst nightmare to the present had been tvgasm being blocked at the office. This is far worse! B-side, I’ve laughed more with you than with some of my bestest friends. (You know, real ones.) I hope whatever your next plans are, you continue to fully utilize your awesome talent. I’m not going anywhere, because Screampillar is awesome. And there’s a lot of talent on these boards. It won’t be the same without you, but we must carry on. My favorite thing was when you guys added yourself to the L.B. opening credits. That never got old. Pretty silly, but it made my sides hurt. However, as long as there are ppl who ponder MTV giving Ashes a litter box in South Central, but telling everyone he pisses and shits in the hills, there’s hope for us all. Godspeed!
65

DonAntonio

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:00 pm

B-Side, no. Just started reading your recaps a few weeks ago, got addicted quickly, and now you’ve gone and killed it. The pain, so fresh. It’s like when you’re a kid and the moving van comes to take your best friend out of town. We didn’t even get to go to Don Antonio’s together. While we were never close, I’ll have to take solace that time that I think you kind of responded to something that I wrote.

All jokes aside, sir, you’ve gone and RUINED my day. Where are you going? Your fan base in San Francisco demands to know. Keep writing, man – you’re talented.

p.s. wheres_bella – I also marvelled at how Lauren appeared to barely be able to peer over the steering wheel.
66

ICTHUS

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:00 pm

Did you know that the clothes the ‘cast’ wears on the hills are available for sale on http://mtv.seenon.com/index.php?v=mtvhil

? Wow..it states what episode the shoes for sale were on and everything. I guess i’m naive but I didn’t think MTV had that big of hand in the show to decide what the girls wear.

bside do not leave
67

moodylupin

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:13 pm

I feel so out of place posting this link as we are all depressed and kind of suicidal at the moment

Duh Hills – Episode 1

Some wacky/stupid video Jason & Brian (yes, the newest con & the sidekick of Heidi’s Ex, Jordan)did as they are watching The Hills Season 2 premiere.

That’s all. I’ll get back to my former depressed state now.
68

Miss Information

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:13 pm

Up until this strange obsession with record posting, tvgasm was a big timesaver. I could read about shows in between patients during the work day, and not have to watch the shows on my own time. That was great, since the shows were never as entertaining as the recaps anyway. I guess I’ll be more productive at work without B-side around, since I read almost all of his recaps whether I was interested in the show or not. This is sooo sad. Sorry for taking up bandwidth with self pity.
69

Miss Information

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:18 pm

If L.C. takes over The Hills, it’s crucial J-star hang around for balance. I nominate Chee-Z for Real World duties. I’m sure she can temper her E Colie aversion with love and understanding. hahaha
70

Miss Information

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:22 pm

Trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered existence…
71

J-Light

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:23 pm

“You have a roommate that looks at me like the plague,” he said, not sure if he was referring to Lauren or THE REST OF AMERICA. ” AMEN!!!
I’m gonna go with the rest of america on that one. Spencer is just vile.

Bside why are you leaving us?!? Especially with the return of Lo next week and oh no what about Big Brother?!? I don’t think I’ll be able to make it through my summer without you and the live feeds!! Thanks for all the laughs throughout the past couple of years. Next time I’m in L.A. I will visit Don Antonios and have a moment of silence for you and J-unit. Best of luck in whatever you will be doing next!
72

Miss Information

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:26 pm

Bubonic qualities… priceless.
73

brilliantmistake

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:40 pm

Happy Trails, B-Side. I’m very sad to see you go. I only started watching Laguna Beach and The Hills because you re-capped them.

“Jade is short for Jadenschfitzenstreude” That made me laugh out loud. Thanks.
74

chanelbelle

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:43 pm

okay, i’ve never posted a comment, but i have been a religious reader of the LB and Hills recaps and am soooo sad to see B-Side leave! damn that Don Antonio’s!! thanks for the great recaps, i have laughed and laughed for hours, and they really are better than the shows…well except for the “he’s a SUCKY person!” you can’t really get much better than that.

Team B-Side forever!
Team Ashes for President!
75

Sidekick-in-Training

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:46 pm

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, B-Side?!

I’ve been reading your recaps for years and decided that in honor of your passing…er, LEAVING…I’d come out of lurking and actually post.

So, fess up–you’re leaving to be the promo writer for Toothy McDouche’s Ugly Necklace Chic, aren’t you?

*sigh* Just remember to bring lots of sanitizing wipes with you. We KNOW where that fuckweasal has been. Ick.
76

Elsie

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:47 pm

Interesting site that Icthus found where mtv sells items from the hills–i checked it out and they have all sorts of jewelry for sale as well, although no infamous diamond martini glasses (!)
77

shiaobundan

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:49 pm

J-Unit AND B-Side???
What’s going to happen to my recaps of RW, RW/RR, RR, Laguna Beach, The Hills, Americas Next Top Model!!!

*sigh*

Don’t tell me Umnata is leaving too, because then I won’t have any shows left to read on this site!
78

BayArea

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:55 pm

I just finished the recap and got teary eyed at the end. Possibly an actual tear came down, but Im not going to admit that. (Im on my 4th glass of wine and possibly PMSing…you can understand tear..one tear)

I read all the comments and remembered BSides Jet Blue plane adventures. HILARIOUS!

So, this news defenitly ruined my day. I dont even want to comment on the hills except to say…who ever in the comments earlier thinks it’s ok to ditch a friend after you set a special day for them for a BF who you just spent the weekend with is obviously a SUCKY FRIEND…ok I looked it’s kristen d..something.

The only thing that will cheer me up is LagunaConsultant continuing the recaps. I think it’s only appropriate.

TEAM B-SIDE (I agree PLEASE make a shirt that says that…i will SOOOOO buy it)
79

tj

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:57 pm

But B-Side and J-Unit ARE TVgasm as far as most of us are concerned. What’s the explanation behind all of this?

B-Side, your recaps were simply the best. I’ve also been reading for a couple of years now. Thanks for adding humor to our days! Best of luck!
80

jess

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:57 pm

Well, I guess it’s now or never: I have a crush on you, B-Side. You don’t have to worry, I won’t be stalking you as you take this next step in your journey through life. It’s just that, well, nobody calls Spencer a douchebag quite like you. We’ll always have Don Antonio’s. sniff.
81

thekatiemonster

Posted March 6, 2007 at 8:59 pm

Oh my God…I don’t know what’s sadder – you leaving or the fact that I actually started to cry about you leaving. Where ever it is you are going, I hope its something public so we can still experience your priceless wit. I’ll miss your hilarity, your intelligence, and your uncanny sense of irony. Thank you for making me and everyone else laugh out loud, without fail, about 38 times on average per recap. Good luck and please do tell us where you’re going and what you will be up to!
82

BlondeGirl

Posted March 6, 2007 at 9:22 pm

A few observations:

1. Being half-drunk does not make the news of B-Side leaving any easier to take.

2. I still think this is the most upsetting thing I’ve heard since some “screenwriter” asked me if I was a groupie when I was at a golf tournament in L.A. last month. I can’t bring myself to read this recap yet.

3. Drinking two beers withing an hour after running 6 miles gives me a hell of a buzz.

4. What the hell am I going to do now when I’m in class? Actually listen to the professors? That’s when I read recaps of The Hills and 24!!
83

lovedoctor

Posted March 6, 2007 at 9:26 pm

B Side, Master Entertainer:

Shock. Let-down. Disappointment. and also,I must admit…. a touch of Jealousy? You must have a pretty sweet master plan in mind to give up what appears to be the world’s coolest job….
And while you move on to greener pastures, I (and the rest of us readers – hope i’m not taking too much liberty making assumptions about the group of us by the way) are left to toil away at our dull day jobs, now with nothing to look forward to.

LoveDoctor’s Diagnosis: abandoned

LoveDoctor’s Prescription: respond to our sad siren calls, fill us in, give us some LOVE!

B side,
Best of luck with your next project, i’ve truly enjoyed your work. Let us know your next move so we can support you there too.
(and now are there two job openings at TVGasm? do they offer health insurance? 401K’s? Coffee at the Hills hot-spots? Dental coverage by Spencer’s dentist-to-the-stars father?)

Fondly,
LoveDoctor
84

lovedoctor

Posted March 6, 2007 at 9:27 pm

B Side, Master Entertainer:

Shock. Let-down. Disappointment. and also,I must admit…. a touch of Jealousy? You must have a pretty sweet master plan in mind to give up what appears to be the world’s coolest job….
And while you move on to greener pastures, I (and the rest of us readers – hope i’m not taking too much liberty making assumptions about the group of us by the way) are left to toil away at our dull day jobs, now with nothing to look forward to.

LoveDoctor’s Diagnosis: abandoned

LoveDoctor’s Prescription: respond to our sad siren calls, fill us in, give us some LOVE!

B side,
Best of luck with your next project, i’ve truly enjoyed your work. Let us know your next move so we can support you there too.
(and now are there two job openings at TVGasm? do they offer health insurance? 401K’s? Coffee at the Hills hot-spots? Dental coverage by Spencer’s dentist-to-the-stars father?)

Fondly,
LoveDoctor
85

BlondeGirl

Posted March 6, 2007 at 9:30 pm

5. I’m a fucking idiot who can’t even spell within.
86

Miss Information

Posted March 6, 2007 at 9:40 pm

No, you were right, I think after a couple of beers it is pronounced ‘withing’, with a little hiccup at the end.
87

missrhodeisland

Posted March 6, 2007 at 10:13 pm

Heh, I caught this episode this afternoon. I must be old fashioned, I couldn’t believe that two young men would greet two young ladies in a somewhat posh setting wearing such horrible clothes. That one kid had on a friggin’ hooded sweatshirt? Blecch….

My favorite part of this episode was when Lauren was careeining down the street in her Mercedes, hands free! Good grief…

I think this series might have a good run on Comedy Central someday.
88

DonAntonio

Posted March 6, 2007 at 10:17 pm

Donde esta B-Side? I keep checking to see if you’ve responded with any info on where you’re going. Have you punched out at the factory already? Are you knee-deep in kristal n’ hos at the TVGasm farewell dance party (or your “great new opportunity” hello dance party)? Are you already over us? CAN’T YOU HEAR MY TEARS SPLASHING ON THE KEYBOARDS?
89

porcelain

Posted March 6, 2007 at 10:21 pm

Wait wait wait!! I did not finish the recap yet, but B-Side you’re leaving?!

:’(

I only found this site and your recaps last season of The Hills and recently found the Giada ones… B-Side where are you going? What will I do?? Who will recap the remaining episodes of The Hills? I’m so sad. I felt like I knew you… :,(
90

Heather

Posted March 6, 2007 at 11:21 pm

that “duh hills” video is hilarious!
91

anniedawg25

Posted March 6, 2007 at 11:30 pm

sigh…………….

B-Side you will be missed.
And J-Unit too

MTV seriously owes you guys a debt of gratitute for ratings….I am sure I am not speaking for myself when I say you are the biggest factors in my watching “Laguna Beach” “The Hills” “RW/RR Challenge” and “Real World” (and the short lived 24/7 and Maui Fever”) on a regular basis.
But, maybe you just did me a favor….less MTV watching means less brain cell killing!

But, congrats to you and your future endeavours!
See you at Pinkberry for fro yo!
Don’t forget the recycled roses!
92

lovinlaguna

Posted March 6, 2007 at 11:40 pm

BSide, we need more info…your faithful followers are lost without you.

Laguna Consultant, moodylupin, Chee Z TeeVee (or however it’s spelled), jstar…you’ve got to come through for us! Move to LA to write recaps and visit the hot spots…Boston, Puerto Rico, psshh, they’ve got nothing on LA when you’re talking Tvgasm!
93

porcelain

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:29 am

Ok, I read the entire recap and felt so extremely bummed out at the end of it- because it sux you’re leaving and it was once again a recap that made me laugh out loud, but it’s over. I am just as sad as I was after The OC season finale, and that says a lot about how much I will miss you as I was an OC addict and dork and these disappointments are just too close in proximity. But I am happy for you that you’re moving on to bigger things!I will def continue to read your writing and support you if it’s public. Well, I think I might comment on the episode tomorrow. Night. Luv ya B-Side!
94

chaos

Posted March 7, 2007 at 2:42 am

MTV Teams with Lauren Conrad to Introduce First-Ever Virtual and Real-World Fashion Line, Taking Personal Expression to Entirely New Level

Lauren Conrad Fashions to Appear in High-End Boutiques and Retail Stores
Later This Year
Virtual Fashions Inspired by Lauren to Debut in ‘Virtual Hills’ Tonight,
March 6th at 8 PM ET/5 PM PT, with Special Appearance by Lauren

NEW YORK, March 6 /PRNewswire/ — Her fashion has inspired a generation
of young viewers with its California chic look of flirty dresses and trendy
tops usually complemented with a signature headband. Now legions of young
women can emulate Lauren Conrad’s fresh style in the real world and online.
MTV Networks and Lauren Conrad — the star of MTV’s popular series “The
Hills” — today announce the first-ever celebrity-inspired digital fashion
line to be introduced in the Virtual Hills virtual world. In addition,
Lauren will develop a real-world fashion line that will be available in
high-end boutiques, retail stores and online later this fall.
The introduction of Lauren’s physical and virtual world fashion lines
takes the concept of personal expression to new heights for a generation of
viewers who take their online persona as seriously as their real-world
presence. Reflecting the casual yet smart aesthetic of her real-world
attire, the virtual clothing line inspired by Lauren will make its debut in
Virtual Hills tonight (http://www.virtualhills.mtv.com), March 6th at 8 p.m. ET /
5 p.m. PT, where fans will be able to buy clothes with in-world currency.
As Lauren continues to design her real-world line, she will look for
feedback from virtual world patrons to help tailor the styles that make
their way to boutiques later this year, a benefit of her close relationship
with fans in Virtual Hills.
“Our audience has always felt a connection to Lauren since she first
appeared on ‘Laguna Beach’ and we’ve created innovative platforms online –
first with mtv.com and now with Virtual Hills — for fans to connect with
her,” said Christina Norman, President of MTV. “Our viewers make little
distinction between their online and real-world personas, and the
introduction of Lauren’s fashion line reflects their desire to embrace what
they see on television and make it an integral part of all facets of their
lives.”
The move also reflects a new model of engagement that moves our
audience back and forth from real-world to virtual-world consumers — and
back.
“I was so excited to hear MTV was launching Virtual Hills and felt this
was a great opportunity for me to bring fashion to technology,” said
Conrad, who is a fashion major at the Fashion Institute of Design in Los
Angeles and also works as an intern at a leading fashion magazine. “We’ve
been working really hard to create sensible, yet trendy fashions that young
girls can wear in their real life or virtual life and that project a true
sense of self. I’m also excited to continue building relationships with my
fans in Virtual Hills and then apply that feedback to my real-world
designs.”
The virtual fashions include casual-yet-sophisticated tops in an array
of colors and accented with layered necklaces. Over time, real-world
fashions will also subsequently be digitized for Virtual Hills.
Lauren will unveil her virtual line in MTV’s Virtual Hills tonight in
“LC,” her brand new virtual boutique that she helped design. In addition,
tonight also sees the launch of the Virtual Hills “Designer Showcase,”
which gives fans the ability to design their own clothes and marks the
first time members of Virtual Hills can create their own content in-world.
Lauren herself will judge the creations as part of her in-world Fashion
Challenge; the winner gets a private virtual meeting with Lauren and a
selection of Lauren’s virtual clothes for free.
An extension of the popular television show “The Hills,” Virtual Hills
immerses fans of the show in all the glitz, glamour and fashion of the LA
scene, and replicates large portions of Hollywood and popular venues
featured in the show. Lauren makes frequent appearances in-world. She has
been hosting bi-weekly events, offering style types to other young women
who are also passionate about fashion and who want to interact directly
with Lauren and live for themselves the Hollywood lifestyle they see
on-air.
Virtual Hills is available for free download at
http://www.vhills.mtv.com.
MTV Networks, a unit of Viacom (NYSE: VIA, VIA.B), is one of the
world’s leading creators of programming and content across all media
platforms. MTV Networks, with more than 100 channels worldwide, owns and
operates the following television programming services — MTV: MUSIC
TELEVISION, MTV2, VH1, mtvU, NICKELODEON, NICK at NITE, COMEDY CENTRAL, TV
LAND, SPIKE TV, CMT, NOGGIN, VH1 CLASSIC, LOGO, MTVN INTERNATIONAL and THE
DIGITAL SUITE FROM MTV NETWORKS, a package of 13 digital services, all of
these networks trademarks of MTV Networks. MTV Networks connects with its
audiences through its robust consumer products businesses and its more than
95 interactive properties worldwide, including online, broadband, wireless
and interactive television services and also has licensing agreements,
joint ventures, and syndication deals whereby all of its programming
services can be seen worldwide.

SOURCE MTV
95

chaos

Posted March 7, 2007 at 2:44 am

Aww, Lauren, good for you.

http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=109&STORY=/www/story/03-06-2007/0004540821&EDATE=

http://www.perezhilton.com
96

dsher

Posted March 7, 2007 at 4:56 am

B-Side! I’m so sad. I could hardly read your re cap today after I read that you were leaving too. I’m sick!

I will miss your re-caps so much! You are truely talented.

I only hope I can read your stuff again.

I’m going to cry now.

Good bye!
97

nurseratched

Posted March 7, 2007 at 5:11 am

B-side,
you made my sick day so much more SUCKY!! how am i going to procrastinate in nursing school without you? well, since i’m graduating in june, it’s probably timely that we part.

seriously b-side, i’ve “known” you for two years through your posts. truly a fan. keep your myspace updated and update here, let us know what’s going on, so we can STALK YOU!

i pour my cough syrup on the carpet for thou departed homie…
98

nurseratched

Posted March 7, 2007 at 5:13 am

100?
99

nurseratched

Posted March 7, 2007 at 5:14 am

maybe…..!
100

nurseratched

Posted March 7, 2007 at 5:15 am

YES!!
101

HicksPub

Posted March 7, 2007 at 5:36 am

Thanks, B-Side and J-Unit. For everything.

Both of you are great, great guys and a class act, all the way. Good luck and best wishes for a bright future.
102

dent

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:10 am

B-side, this is so not the Teen Vogue way of doing things.

I thought I was sad when Edhill left. Then m-ruv. Then J-unit. But this has to be the worst day in TVGasm history.

B-side, thanks for all the laughs. Whoever said it was a great way to kill time between patients is so right. I am always in my office cracking up and my staff thinks I am crazy.

That being said, I will keep coming. Screampillar and Flipit are great and there will be more writers even if they will never be as good as B-side. Dont abandon ship yet guys.

And laguna consultant for recaps!!! We know you have the time after you r marathon posting sessions
103

mandymax

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:14 am

Wait – no more JetBlue flight recaps????? Are you KIDDING me????? I LOVED those!!!

On a “Hills” note – is it me, or does it look like Lauren and Heidi live in a totally different apartment than they lived in last season? Am I imagining things?
104

krmlurk

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:15 am

Not sure if anyone has posted this yet, but I heard on the radio this morning that 8-Bahl has been sentenced to 60 days in jail for a 2006 arrest…anyone else heard that? got confirmation?
105

MTVwhoreInTX

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:20 am

Good Luck B-Side. Please tell me you’re starting up your own recap site. Trust me! You have lots of devoted readers. Alot of us have said we watch the shows JUST to read the recaps. (personally, i actually still like the shows). Whatever your future plans are, GOOD LUCK although I dont think you’ll need it. Whoever picks up the recaps you left behind has some huge shoes to fill. I’ll miss you and miss laughing out loud in the privacy of my own home. WAAAAAA!
106

HoosierKatie

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:22 am

OMG – your recaps are better than the shows they are based on! Its a sad, sad day…

-from “Flodence”

I completely agree. B-Side, you will be terribly missed. I peruse and skim the other recaps, but it is usually only yours & J-Unit’s that I fully read. TVGasm won’t be the same without you.

The show: Heidi is the worst kind of friend – ugh.
107

TitsMagee

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:45 am

B-Side-
I am so upset you are leaving! And not even holding our hands through the remainder of the season of The Hills! How could you??? The curse of Don Antonio’s is real and it is alive, people.

That being said, best of luck to you wherever you turn up. You single handedly have made TVGasm my favorite site to visit and I will miss your wit and humor. I hope you are taking it to a place that will value it as much as we all do here. I hope you come back and post when you can. Dropping us would be bad form and soooo not the Teen Vogue way of doing things.

Thanks for the laughs!
108

McCreamy

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:50 am

Noooooo! I don;t even want to watch the hills anymore now that there will be no more Bside recaps
109

MTV4ME

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:56 am

To add to the thousands of comments that surely will be posted here…

B-Side, I wish you the best! Thanks for what has become a daily addiction.

I was directed to this site by a post in the rant and rave section of craigslist.com in Denver a few years ago. I’ve been hooked ever since. I have a hard time believing that anyone will be able to follow in your footsteps on this site. It is obvious by the size of your fan base that staying here would be a disservice to you and your talent.

The Amazing Race (PhilParka), The Hills, The RealWorld, Laguna Beach, The Food Network, American Idol and so on will never be the same!! (
110

luxe

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:57 am

this is the worst news ever. it definitely won’t be the same here without you. b-side, you are my hero and i love you! i think every girl who reads your recaps has a crush on you. and probably most of the guys, too. i will miss you so. good luck!
111

lovedoctor

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:58 am

I woke up this morning, and imagine my disappointment. still no answers from B side? are you crafting the mother of all posts to answer all of us at once?

can’t believe you’re leaving…
It hurts…..

…more than it hurts to look at all of spencer’s 32 teeth at once, every time he talks

…more than it hurts to hear Lisa Love tell you in her flat affect that you will always be remembered as the boy who didn’t go to the end of the Hills season

…more than it hurts to watch Emily the whiz intern put her 1000th chinoiserie style vase on the dinner table

…more than it hurts to watch Heidi get poked in the eye by Lauren’s strong and confident finger poke as she shouts that spencer is a SUCKY guy

…more than it hurts to watch Lauren respond to Blake’s question about where she’s from, “uh Laguna Beach,” as if he hasn’t watched ENTIRE seasons of Laguna Beach AND the Hills

…more than my stomach hurts after three strong drinks, chips, and a giant burrito in honor of all the trips to Don Antonio’s

…more than it hurts to watch Whitney’s mouth drop open from surprise, again and again

…more than it hurts to watch Jenn bunney try to dance

I think you and J-Unit together are moving on to be screen writers or writers for Conan. that is my theory.

I weep, happily now, thinking of the musical-accompanied montage that would encapsulate the past few weeks. it was fun….

i’ll miss your scathing sass and your impeccable sense of timing

good luck with everything
112

JasonR

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:04 am

B-Side,
I’ve never watched this show and this is one of the few shows where I didn’t read your recaps (no, I watch shows like “Friday Night Lights” or “Rescue Me” where we celebrate when we hit 10 comments – WTF?), but I had to stop by and thank you for all the laughs and literally hundreds of hours I’ve joyfully pissed away at work on this wonderful place you and the others recently departed created. It’s a fine balance to love the shows and mock them at the same time, and you were brilliant at it. I’ll still be here at the ‘Gasm, as there has been some great new talent coming on board recently, but hopefully I’ll be seeing you sometime “midseason”. Best of luck and thanks again.
-JR

P.S. — for all of you wondering why all the founding fathers have departed and the lack of info on what they’re going to do next, obviously there’s legal reasons for that. If anyone wants more info, visit the forums and you’ll probably get the gist of it.
113

JasonR

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:07 am

P.S. for many of you who don’t venture over to the forums, there is a “Goodbye and Good Luck Card to B-Side” thread where we can all pay our respects one last time. See you there.
114

campfiregirl

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:08 am

I wish you much success in this life B-side. Your wit and charm kept me entertained for two years now. Thanks……….
115

Ms. Tumnus

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:13 am

My slideshow of photos screen saver kicked in a few minutes ago and what was the first image to pop up? None other than J-Unit and B-Side decked out for their infamous Emmy party.

I teared up there for a bit.

I hope you both went out last night and, like many of us, raised a glass to the Gasm and its former glory.

Nurse that hangover B & J. You’ve earned it.
116

AC

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:14 am

There are no words. I’m sad.
117

Octavian

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:18 am

Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget
falls drop by drop upon the heart,
until, in our own despair,
against our will,
comes wisdom
through the awful grace of God. -Aeschylus
Farwell B-Side, Thanks for all the fun.
118

Creecher

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:29 am

I have read (and re-read) these recaps for so long but this heartbreaking news has finally made me come out of hiding to post. I am so sad that B-Side is leaving us!!! These recaps will never be the same. You always make me laugh out loud at these shows. Good luck to you!
119

Liketotallyrandom

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:33 am

B-Side. Say it ain’t so! I only read you and J-Unit. What the hell am I going to do now? Project Runway? Laguna? The Hills? I am actually freaking out. This is the worst day of my life. Where are you going? I’m coming too…move to Boston if you want, I need a roommate.
120

jasminetheawesome

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:34 am

I’m a sad panda.
121

RealityMonkey

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:36 am

So sorry to see you go, B Side. You made my penchant for cheesy reality shows slightly more acceptable. Good luck and I can think of no more fitting a tribute to you than the 1000+ comment salute on your last recap.
122

LagunaConsultant

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:37 am

Man, I still don’t think I’m ready to be posting about the last Hills. I feel like I can’t move, and somebody keeps repeatedly kicking me in the junk. This must be what 8-Bahl feels like today while he detoxes in his cement bed. He’s going to be in a lot of trouble in prison, he just doesn’t seem like he’s built for it. Some southern rapist will wind up saying something to him like “you’ve got yourself a pretty mouth there boooy,” and Jason will wind up thanking him and giving him his dentist’s business card. Plus, just wait until word gets around that he’s there because of racial issues¦ Yikes¦ The end result of that will be an 8-Bahl Oreo¦

Is there a bigger loser going than Brian Drolet? Female sidekicks don’t want any part of this guy, and his two masters are 8-Bahl and Jordan. Man does that suck. After watching those retarded videos I’m now convinced he’d be the perfect sidekick for our new favorite douchebags . Knowing the two of them, they’d probably try to make a TV show out of it. I will say this though, Jason’s reaction to Drolet beating off while watching the Hills was mildly amusing, if only because if this happened 2 months from now, Jason would probably start blowing him.

Ahhhhh¦ Nothing like a good 8-Bahl rant to put the hop back in my step.

Before I go, can somebody please confirm that Chee-Z overdosed on Tylenol and Sutter Home after the news of B-Side’s departure? It’s the only thing I can think of that explains the sudden disappearance.
123

Emilita33

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:52 am

Farwell and good luck B-Side. You were my favorite recapper ever and THE reason that TVGasm was my fav site. I don’t know if I will still visit now that you’re gone! I read anything you wrote, even if I’d never seen the show!
124

Laurie

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:55 am

(sigh)

Really, am at a loss for words other than that. It’s such a bummer that you are leaving us B-side.
125

imhere4beer

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:56 am

OMG I’M in HELL! So KISS MY ASS, KISS MY GODDAMN ASS!! And I hope wherever you are going is a 30 BILLION DOLLAR A YEAR INDUSTRY!!!!

You will be sorely missed, B-Side.
126

Jessica'sbrain

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:04 am

What is going on at TVGasm? First J-Unit and now B Side. Your recaps are the best on the internet. 1000 posts will never be forgotten.
This was a boring eppisode. Whitney needs to suck it up. Why are all these fashion people such bitches? Spencer has Heidi Dumbass completely brainwashed. I suspect after the cameras stop rolling that Spencer will have no use for HeidiHo.Blake didn’t look like no hockey player to me, except if it were for Team Queer Eye for Straight Guy .Lauren was very sweet to do the steaming for Whitney.
Who is going to do the recaps now? There are still episodes left of the Hills.
127

HokieJM

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:15 am

B-Side you will surely be missed. Your recaps are the best and I think my fav shows will not be the same! Of course I would love for you to stay at least for the rest of the Hills season, but oh well.
Team TVGasm better pick up the slack!
128

silentfire

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:16 am

Man was I shocked when I read the line saying you were leaving. Junit, Bside, Edhill *tear*

What’s the deal, did you and J-unit have different reasons for leaving? Where will both you be writing so we can read your material? I hope more info is posted on the forum..
129

JerseyLove

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:17 am

WHAT? NOOOOOOOO B-Side, you can’t go!!!
You make the show 10x better than it is. Is this a cruel joke? I hope you come out and say, just kidding! (sigh)
Please be sure to come back an enlighten us with your comments!
130

tulip618

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:21 am

oh gosh. i just stumbled across tvgasm several months ago when i got the most boring (and un-supervised) job in the world and the site, and B-Side and J-Unit, have provided many many hours of entertainment. i will definitely miss you both, but like everyone else am looking forward to hearing where we can read more from you guys! now there will be more tv sites to keep me from doing my job!
131

LagunaConsultant

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:22 am

Umm I’m 98% sure B-Side said he was going to London for one reason or another the other day, so I wouldn’t expect a response to what he’s doing for a while.
132

BlondeGirl

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:28 am

LagunaConsultant: I think he said he was going on Thursday, so perchance he’ll check in one last time before hopping ‘cross the pond?
133

LagunaConsultant

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:30 am

Found it. I guess he’s not going til tomorrow, but who knows. He may be planning on going there for an extended period of time, so he would be spending today saying goodbye to people if that was the case. This was the quote:

“As for Don Antonio’s, I would definitely be inclined to go to $.99 taco night this Wednesday, but since I’m flying to London on Thursday, I don’t want to get the CURSE OF DON ANTONIO’S before a 12 hour flight.”
134

Mallory

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:34 am

Dear B-side, the hole in my heart that was once filled by your glorious recaps of all things Laguna and Real Worldy will be exposed once again. What will fill this void? Evangelical Christianity? I don’t know. If I haven’t the Hills then what have I? You will be missed. I wish you the best.
135

Mrs.Meow

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:40 am

Because I am weird, now apparently boarderline stalkerish, I went to tvgasm’s myspace page, only to find that B-Side and J-Unit have been removed from tvgasm’s top friends! My world is crumbling…
136

cbgb

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:45 am

Aw man!I agree with TitsMagee. This surely cannot be the Teen Vogue Way of doing things. A few months back I stumbled on the Tvgasm website by trying to look up more info on Open Air Stereo (no I didn’t like the band, just was looking) then I saw your LB recaps and thought it was the most hilarious and witty piece written. “Finally!” I thought, “a place where I can read up and laugh about the same things on this show”. Then I saw you re-capped Real World too. I thought, “Who is this B-Side? He’s absolutely awesome!” I also had stopped watching The Hills during Season 1, but then read your recaps and had been hooked ever since. I catch so much flack from my boyfriend for always reading on this sight, but he just doesn’t understand.
Anyways, I know this is lengthy and boring, but I’m sure you’re moving to bigger and better things and I sincerely wish you the very best. Please keep us updated on your future projects, you must know you have a sidekick following.
I was gonna comment on the show’s events, but this was just for B-Side.
137

Erin9981

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:50 am

Bside, you first won me over with your magical montage of Mischa Barton’s car wreck, played to the tune of “You Had a Bad Day.” Since then, I’ve been hooked. Thanks so much for countless hours of entertainment.
138

BlondeGirl

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:55 am

@ TitsMagee: I have to say thank you. For some reason your name has put a bright spot in this dark time for me.
139

TitsMagee

Posted March 7, 2007 at 9:04 am

B-Side, can we get a comment?
We need closure!

If not, you’ll always be the guy who didn’t come back and comment.

ps- thank you BlondeGirl!
140

cbgb

Posted March 7, 2007 at 9:31 am

No!!! That is too hilarious Tits!!! Keep ‘em coming
141

humminbird

Posted March 7, 2007 at 9:46 am

mandymax (#103), i noticed the new apartment, too. i thought i must have missed the episode where lc and heidi moved, or something. i’ve ony managed to catch a few episodes so far this season.

b-side, i will miss your sense of humor. well, at least the people in the cubicles around me won’t have to listen to my constant stifled laughter while i read your recaps anymore, wondering whether i’m just laughing or am choking on something and need medical attention.
142

B-Side

Posted March 7, 2007 at 9:58 am

Hey guys — thank you *so* much for all the compliments. I really can’t believe the outpouring. Yes, consider me another victim of Don Antonio’s!

I’m not really going anywhere physically, but I will be focusing on my screenwriting. Several opportunities have opened up for me in that area, and it came to a point where it was getting too difficult to juggle my blogging career and my writing career; so sadly, I had to sacrifice one. A Sophie’s Choice, if you will. It was not made lightly!

LagunaConsultant, you should email MYL and volunteer to do the recaps now. There really is no better person to take the baton…
143

KikiC

Posted March 7, 2007 at 10:03 am

Although I wish you luck, selfishly I’m totally bummed for our loss!

I hope we will be seeing your name at the end of a movie someday… “Screenplay by B-Side” Perhaps an Oscar is in the future.

I’m sure I speak for all Tvgasmers when I say, drop a line here occasionally! We will miss the snark!
144

sweetiepie

Posted March 7, 2007 at 10:08 am

thank GOODNESS you are not quitting writing for good b-side. i cannot imagine a BIGGER fan than me, even though this is my first post, you have brought me out of the woodworks to say goodbye. You truly have a god-given talent, it is also possible you are my brother from another mother- you have a way of writing exactly what i have asserted and pondered! GOOD LUCK to you b-side. i will miss the countless times i have laughed out loud in my cubicle and had people check to see if i am OK….
oooh, i am so sad!!! keep us ALL posted on your endeavors, im sure i speak for many when i say we will follow you anywhere- O’ great one!
145

B-Side

Posted March 7, 2007 at 10:21 am

Oh, btw, this might be sort of strange, but I actually wrote a post for tonight’s real world episode. I had a screener and wrote it up in advance, however, technically, The Hills was my last written recap.

So don’t be all confused when the Real World pops up tonight.

I’m also bummed that I didn’t incorporate “This is the Teen Vogue way of doing things” into my last recap. damn!
146

luxe

Posted March 7, 2007 at 10:27 am

i agree with b-side – if he won’t be doing the recaps, there really is no better person to do them than lagunaconsultant.
147

TitsMagee

Posted March 7, 2007 at 10:30 am

You love us, you really love us!

Thanks B-Side for hitting us back.

Lisa Love would be proud. Writing back is so the Teen Vogue……well, you get the point.

On Monday nights when The Hills comes on, I will look out my window and quietly sing “Somewhere Out There” and know that somewhere you are mentally ripping Speidi a new one and take comfort in that.

Team B-Side Forever

Good luck, man.
148

TheEmancipationofGigi

Posted March 7, 2007 at 10:32 am

B-Side, thank you for all of the PASSION! you brought to every recap. It is truly sad to see you go…

BUT FIRST

Thanks for all of the laughs. For the past couple of years, I’ve been in a boring as hell analyst job, and TvGasm has been one of the few things to keep me sane and entertained.

I just found out this week that I get to leave for my dream opportunity, so fortunately I won’t be completely dependent on your posts–but will definitely miss them!

You’re a brilliant writer. I am glad to hear you are going with screenplay writing–you’ll really excel!
149

onefortheroad

Posted March 7, 2007 at 10:48 am

The Hills and LB will never be the same! MTV does owe B-side for making all of us watch with such fever so we could scope out what B-side might comment on the next day! You made those shows more enjoyable and more addicting than they should have been!

Onward to 1100!!!
150

maho

Posted March 7, 2007 at 10:53 am

this morning i went to the dentist and some cavities were discovered.

then i read that bside was leaving.

now, i’m on watch britney spears style.

Best of luck to you!
151

trueblue

Posted March 7, 2007 at 11:23 am

SIGH. I am just crushed, absolutely forlorn at the news of B-side’s departure. I started reading Tvgasm for the Laguna beach recaps. Loved them. Then I discovered that B-side also wrote the RW recaps, almost went out of my mind with happiness! And then of course came The Hills and the trifecta of contentment was complete. Now I see nothing but barren days ahead of me. I mean who could forget this quote from one of the laguna Beach recaps describing The Lexie’s boat:

“Seas The Day.” Get it? Because it’s like “Seize The Day” but with “Seas” instead! Because it’s a boat! I would have suggested “Seas and Desist.” Or maybe “Learning My A, B, Seas.” Or better yet, “I’m Having An Epileptic Seashore!” Someday… someday…”

I almost had an aneurysm laughing at that!

You will be greatly missed B-side! Good Luck!

P.S. Who will be my baby’s daddy now?
152

Danny Aged

Posted March 7, 2007 at 11:36 am

i am confused. i thought b-side and j-unit owned this/built this. am guessing they sold it to some conglomerate?
153

goodAg

Posted March 7, 2007 at 11:38 am

Boo hoo!
B-Side, I will miss your hilarious cross-country observations on JetBlue and other funny antics (like with Wii!) along with your re-caps. I will always think of you and J-Unit when I see a random water bottle!

I wish you the best in your future projects, and I see there’s already an entry for you in IMDB so I can keep track!

P.S. B-Side, you had me at the Tom Cruise video!
154

countrygal

Posted March 7, 2007 at 11:39 am

Wh-wh-whaaat? You are leaving?

This is my first time posting. I’ve enjoyed reading your recaps; they’ve been a lot more interesting than the shows!

I just have one thing to say about this episode… is it me or are Heidi and Spencer starting to look like brother & sister?
155

cherin

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:02 pm

I agree… LAGUNACONSULTANT should take over the recaps.

B-Side – it goes without saying that your recaps are unbelievably hysterical and I’ll miss them so much. Make sure you come back every now and then with a recap of your life, or of a show, or of anything! Because we’ll read anything you write…
156

natania

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:07 pm

Lauren did move. She now really lives in the Hillside Villas. The Jason breakup caused her to move.

B-Side I am lost with out you. And I live in NY so no Don Antonio’s – how will I find my way??
157

TitsMagee

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:18 pm

what is B-Side’s real name for IMDB purposes?
158

porcelain

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:19 pm

As for The Hills-

Lauren called Heidi “Hodie” while going up to her room before watching her pack. *giggle* Or am I hearing things?

My brother watched this episode with me and he pointed out that Lauren could barely peer over the steering wheel, LOL and he laughed, which in turn made me notice and laugh every time. And… that will probably be me when I drive. heh. Also, as it’s been mentioned before, for some time I’ve been wondering if LC and “Hodie” have moved to a different arpartment; didn’t they have a spiral stair case first episode of first season?

I’ve noticed these girls go out to eat a lot. I know they have money but it’s like they eat out every other day or so,always making dinner plans… hmm

All that said, I’m still feeling down. Call me a crazy stalker but I just re-read through some of B-Side’s Hills season 1 stuff and oh man, so funny.. “I’m half Amish, hence the name Hamish” , “Elly the stapler lender” LOL LOL awesome. ooh B-Side it hurts that you’re leaving. But screenwriting, I’m glad for you. You will succeed because well not to state the obvious, but you’re talented and passionate! I’m just selfish and want you to stay… but I still wish you the best. Ok enough of me, I’m going to go now and won’t be back maybe til next episode of The Hills, for my grieving period. k goodbye!

Oh and B-Side, I want to apologize in advance in case I ever see you around LA (when I visit) and embarrass you, because I can’t contain myself,with “OMG it’s B-Siiiide!” and who knows what else..sorry. ..
159

BlondeGirl

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:24 pm

@ porcelain: No, I heard Lauren call her Ho-die too! Glad someone else caught it; I too thought I was hearing things!
160

BayArea

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:26 pm

I saw someone write BSide’s name is Ben.

Laguna Consultant MUST do the recaps.
161

Katie

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:37 pm

I can’t believe there will be no more B-Side. You were the reason I read this site. I don’t know who will do justice to “Laguna,” “Hills” and “Idol” recaps.

Good luck! Definitely keep the TVgasm-verse up on your successes.
162

mikeyb

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:40 pm

B-side! NOOOO! When I got a text message from my friend last night saying you were leaving I was in shock. Your recaps really did get me and all my friends through law school. I remember reading the “fight the slide” recap (along with 4 other friends) in communications law (boringest class ever, btw) and I’m surprised we didn’t get kicked out since we were laughing out loud for at least 20 minutes. Your hatred for that douche Spencer has sustained me through the most mundane job ever. I don’t know what I’ll do now! We’ll miss you!
163

mandymax

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:51 pm

I also caught Lauren calling Heidi “Hodie.”

And I’m glad I wasn’t hallucinating the new apartment.

AND – is that LO coming back to the screen next week???
164

CaliGirlinGA

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:54 pm

B-Side, Thank you!

Thank you for making my days here at work easier to take.

For giving me my daily exercise by my getting up to walk to the break room to get napkins to clean the coffee off my computer screen.

For making me more aware of my television viewing because I’m sure you’re going to include something in the next recap.

B-Side, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

God-speed, my good man.
165

bwinfree

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:56 pm

OH NO! I come here every week to laugh my ass off
me and another co-worker..
(we was rollin)!
B-Side, thanks for all the laughs! I hope all your dreams come true!
You’ll be missed!
XOXOXO
166

loader4life

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:56 pm

I’ll be sobbing in my 99 cent life changing tacos tonight .
167

ABC Girl

Posted March 7, 2007 at 12:58 pm

B-Side: is it really true you’re leaving? And where are you going? Are you working for KConrad now? Or MTV?

Are there gonna be recaps on the “Search for a New Pussycat Doll”? Just asking because this is basically “America’s Next Top Model” meets “Making The Band”– and both of these shows are recapped on this site… and I could swear I saw at least one former MTB girl on the Pussycat Doll premeire show last night.

I would be ETERNALLY grateful for any info on either of my questions!!!
Thanks!
168

ponsoldt

Posted March 7, 2007 at 1:01 pm

B-side, My life will never be the same without these recaps to look forward to. I will still watch the Hills, but I don’t think I can put myself through anymore Real World seasons without you to convince me the cast does not reflect average intelligence levels. You truly helped me graduate from law school without dying of boredom. The JetBlue liveblogs were easily the most entertaining posts. If you ever come to Nashvegas, we could go to a honky-tonk and make fun of everyone!! Good luck with your screen writing! I’m off to cry in the work bathroom, and it isn’t even a oneie-PATHETIC!
169

emelye

Posted March 7, 2007 at 1:17 pm

Aw, B-Side! I feel so blue to hear you are leaving.
I will never forget the Category F-5 tornado that is Maria, nor her aluminum foil jacket of power. Thank you ever so much for all the laughs. Best of luck to you, you will be sorely missed.
170

krmlurk

Posted March 7, 2007 at 1:32 pm

Delurking –

1) thank you B-Side, thank you from the bottom of my black black heart. for the last three years you have provided me with hours of entertainment and the comfort of knowing that i’m not the only twenty something who religiously watches laguna beach, the hills, and RW for the sole purpose of sitting in front of a TV and belittling people who make very good arguments for forced 83rd trimester abortions.

2) i was looking back at some old posts, just meandering down memory lane (hey, a girl’s got to do something to waste time during those non-busy hours/days) and found this, maybe, dare I say it, the greatest moment of your tvgasm life:

http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/laguna_beach/001068.php
171

Frizzer

Posted March 7, 2007 at 1:52 pm

Maybe B-Side is going to Europe because he’s in a delicate condition?
172

Frizzer

Posted March 7, 2007 at 1:54 pm

Maybe B-Side is going to Europe because he’s in a delicate condition? Or maybe Lisa Love offered him the chance of a lifetime with an internship in Paris?
… come to think of it, Whitney had ANOTHER internship that summer in Paris… that makes 6!
173

RealityMonkey

Posted March 7, 2007 at 2:27 pm

I’m thrilled to hear you’re going into screenwriting, B-Side. Just promise me that Spencer will NEVER manage you!
174

antebellum

Posted March 7, 2007 at 2:42 pm

B-SIDE?!… NOOOO!!!

Aww. I really did only come on TVgasm for your recaps of LB, RW, and the Challenges. This is a sad, sad day for all of your fans, and it came out of nowhere! Well, at least you’re leaving on a high note, and we’ll always have the memories. Best of luck!
175

becca

Posted March 7, 2007 at 2:46 pm

But… but… but what about BIG BROTHER?!

You couldn’t have waited until the season fianle of The Hills?

(Good luck and thanks for all the amazing recaps!)
176

D-Bag

Posted March 7, 2007 at 3:24 pm

i think lauren and heidi live in the same complex (not the hillside villas, palazzo east) as season one, though they did change apartments.

they used to live in a two bedroom with a loft (spiral staircase). now they live in a “townhouse” with the bedrooms upstairs. it looks like mtv had a hand in decorating the place (painting walls, the infamous sofa, etc…) audrina lives in the same complex. lauren walked over when they had the home cooked meal a few eps back.

also, does anyone know what kind of car heidi has now. it was a convertible. definitely an upgrade from season one’s saturn.
177

joslyn

Posted March 7, 2007 at 3:32 pm

Bye B-Side.

You are the best. I won’t say that I will miss you, because I have a feeling if I look, I will find you and J somewhere else in cyberspace.

So I’ll just say “until we meet again”.
178

memyI

Posted March 7, 2007 at 3:58 pm

I CANT BELIEVE YOUR LEAVING US!!!!! These recaps really wont be the same

“I’m sure the dolphins we saw jumping in the surf were not so much migrating as attempting to flag Heidi down and warn her to run far, far away from Spencer. Let’s not forget, dolphins are very good at detecting douchebags.”

who else can come up with a line like that?

Good luck hun
179

mangos

Posted March 7, 2007 at 4:09 pm

This is a terrible way to top off one of the worst weeks of the year for me. I am so sad. I feel like a dork for having to hold back tears as I write this. You’ll be missed B-side. I’ve been here at tvgasm since the second season of The Apprentice, and I even go back into the archives to re-read some of my favorite B-side recaps. Sigh. This is terrible. Peace out Tvgasm.

Love you B-side!
180

catherine

Posted March 7, 2007 at 4:28 pm

I’ve never posted a comment before even though reading these recaps are the best part of my day – but i am compelled to do so now. I am going to miss you B-side! How will I be able to watch Big Brother without your recaps!?! Such a sad, sad, depressing day.
181

moodylupin

Posted March 7, 2007 at 4:32 pm

B-Side, how cool it is that we have 180 comments and we STILL haven’t really talk about the show???

I’m feeling weak.
You’re the kryptonite to my Superman.
SUCH A SUCKY WEEK.
182

stacyrocks

Posted March 7, 2007 at 4:33 pm

I’ve been reading TVGasm for almost 2 years and though I’ve been pretty quiet lately by not leaving too many comments or discussing in the forum, I was vocal to my friends about how funny and well-written your posts are. I am so sad to hear you are leaving, B-Side. I wish you luck with your next project! I’m going to miss you, your recaps and clipgasm posts soooooo much!!

-Stacy XoX
183

D-Bag

Posted March 7, 2007 at 5:13 pm

whoa. j-bahl’s prison sentence made the headlines of yahoo news. you hit the big time, bitch!

i think i first came across tvgasm from the original giada post. i think i actually shit my pants. seriously, i passed a nugget. i was never able to jerk off to her again from that moment.

thanks, b-side. for the memories.
184

Morticia

Posted March 7, 2007 at 5:35 pm

First J-Unit and now B-Side?!?! This sucks.

Delurking to join the others in saying how bummed I am that you are leaving, B-Side. I’ve been reading your recaps for a couple of years now and have always enjoyed them more than the actual show.

I will miss your humor and wish you the best. I will try to keep an open mind and continue to read TVgasm. Laguna Beach and The Hills recaps just won’t be the same though.

Good luck, B-Side and J-Unit. Don’t be strangers and post once in a while.
185

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:31 pm

This is turning out to be a completely craptastic day!

I just got back into town, checked the RW: Denver site and thought everyone had confused B-Side with J-Unit. Went to The Hills, and started the first stage of grieving. I am bereft.

I composed a heart-felt, and sincere post – pushed post – and my comment disappeared into thin air. Arrgh!

B-Side, I am sincerely going to miss your recaps, your great talent combined with your razor-sharp wit will be sorely missed here. Thank you for the countless hours of laughter, banter and your hilarious perspective on our beloved Reality TV cast-members.

Even though I am incredibly sad to see you go, I hope you attain all of the happiness and success you deserve. I hope to see your work in the future, in many venues and across a broad range of outlets- you are an exceptional talent, and it has been a wonderful experience participating on these boards with you at the helm!

I am going to continue to support the TVgasm site, and participate as a poster, even though it will take some adjustment. I believe J-Unit and B-Side would want us all to continue on as well, and it’s our duty to make sure J-Unit and B-Side are never forgotten here! Also, we can now confuse Newbies with obscure and beloved J-Unit and B-Side references, which will identify us all as exclusive and super-special – “Listen kiddo, I was here back in the day…”, “I’ve read B-Side, and I’ve seen his Clipgasms, and you’re NO B-Side!”…

I still haven’t had time to read all the comments, but I know everyone here feels as sad as I do. I’m going to comment on the episode later, after I read through this – and I’ll try to snap back to my sarcastic, yet lovable (jstar, are ya hearin’ me?) self. I can only imagine the depths of dismay and depression Laguna Consultant is experiencing – just don’t do anything stupid buddy, we’re here for you! Just put on the Blueberry Tracksuit, grab some ice cream and kleenex, and cry it out, cry it out…

I’ll be back.

Good bye B-Side, I’m really going to miss you!
186

fulfill_the_dream_78

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:36 pm

B-Side, I knew eventually this day would come, certainly not during the middle of the season of our favorite show, but I knew it would come.

There is no doubt this site is what it is today because of you. I know one day we’ll see you on stage picking up a few Oscars for best screen play very soon.

I guess Don Antonio’s is life changing. First you eat there, then you’re leaving….ironic?

Shout out to TitsMagee! Funniest b**ch on here! And I agree that LagunaConsultant should take over.

When the pupil is ready the mast will appear, or I guess in this case disappear.

Godspeed B-Side.
187

fulfill_the_dream_78

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:37 pm

B-Side, I knew eventually this day would come, certainly not during the middle of the season of our favorite show, but I knew it would come.

There is no doubt this site is what it is today because of you. I know one day we’ll see you on stage picking up a few Oscars for best screen play very soon.

I guess Don Antonio’s is life changing. First you eat there, then you’re leaving….ironic?

Shout out to TitsMagee! Funniest b**ch on here! And I agree that LagunaConsultant should take over.

When the pupil is ready the master will appear, or I guess in this case disappear.

Godspeed B-Side.
188

fulfill_the_dream_78

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:39 pm

Shit! I swear I didn’t mean to double up.
189

g3

Posted March 7, 2007 at 6:53 pm

Bye Bye B-side and J-unit. Good luck. Please come back and update us.
If for some reason, we don’t hear from them (or I look in the wrong places) – could other TVgasmers help out with the updates? Cause I seem to be the few that don’t know Ben and Joe’s full names to look them up on IMDB.
190

Emily

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:21 pm

B-Side you will truly be missed!! You have given many many laughs!!

I need your myspace!! Please!! I am still gonna need a B-Side fix!!!

good luck B-Side!!

(could someone please post his myspace??! Thanks!)
191

ilovebside

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:37 pm

Bside, we’ve had some special times, you and I. This recap was great, as we have come to expect from such a talented young man, but filled with tears of bittersweet regret and questions¦Did I not appreciate you enough? Did I not express my love as openly as you would have liked? I think about all the things I could have said, all the times I could have commented and reminded you how funny you were on your recaps¦ would that have been enough???! THEn would you still be LEAVING ME???? You never did love me enough, and I hate you for that you bastard. But Jesus, I love you too. Please don’t leave. You are my only friend. I tell people at my school I have a boyfriend named B-side and I showed them a picture of you¦ Now I will have to tell them we broke up. Here are some of my favorite B-side moments¦
1. Next stop: Milan!
2. Basically everything about Alex H. and her awkwardness ¦ our favorite character in any MTV reality series, EVER!!!
3. Hating Kina, Colie, and any girl from Jersey
4. “DUNZO!” and Kristin’s donkey voice
5. Mocking of Cedric’s gayness
6. The classic B-side fakeout: saying someone said something they actually DIDN’T say, and then saying “well, that didn’t REALLY happen,” leaving us to marvel at our own gullibility and B-side’s genius¦. Gets us every time
7. Go away, Taco!
8. Comparison of Laguna’s Casey to Terri Schavo
9. All the great screencaps
10. The first time we saw B-side’s face¦. Glorious! I now have a shrine to him in my basement
11. Get off my weave! Bitch, GET OFF MY WEAVE!!
12. This was merely quoted by B-side, but we’re sure he enjoyed it as much as we did. “I’m bout to press play on this shit in 5, 4, 3, 2,¦¦¦¦ MOTHER FUCKIN ONE!!!!” “We love New York!!
We even stalkerishly (awkwardly) IMed you once. Thanks for responding to us! We love you times a million! We are having a memorial service in your honor tomorrow at school on the field. We will pick some daisies and throw them into the wind, or something like that. Think of us!! B-side, you will be missed. WE LOVE YOU! Too many exclamation points!!! We don’t want to say goodbye, so we’ll just say¦¦.. see you around.
192

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 7, 2007 at 7:38 pm

Just read the comments – wheeew!

I am on Team Laguna Consultant as well, who better to carry the torch? I would definitely support that because Laguna Consultant is secretly my hero.

So what do you say Laguna? Are you going to email MYL? Throw us bone dude, PLEASE just THROW US A BONE.

I still have to look at moodylupin’s “Duh Hills” video, I’m just so overwhelmed right now! I actually think I’ve been struck speechless, a rare event in my world.

I still want to post on the actual episode, but I’m so bummed! I might have to wait until tomorrow, right now I’m soaking my pillow with the bitter tears of loss, and it could result in a liquid destroy of my MacBook, which would just be the icing on the cake of my craptacular day.

I don’t know how I can move on with the RW without B-Side. It just isn’t going to be as profound an experience without his input. I’m so, so, so sad.
193

monkeypeanut

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:21 pm

This is so sad. First J-Unit, then B-side. And, totally OT, but my son’s teacher just resigned mid year and that’s bumming me out like crazy. Tic tac toe. Three in a row.

Sigh…it was funnier when you said it, B-Side.

Best of luck to you!

P.S. You didn’t mention that Lo was in the previews for next week!
194

BrunetteGirl

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:27 pm

I was hoping that I would wake up this morning and find this all to be a very bad dream. But it wasn’t B-Side is really leaving! And then the CURSE OF DON ANTONIO’S struck and I lost my wireless connection until about 5 minutes ago. But in all honesty I new that it was true because BlondeGirl has now called me drunk two nights in a row- which is really highly amusing.
195

BrunetteGirl

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:29 pm

P.S That screenwriter at the Nissan was a douchebag!
196

B-Side

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:30 pm

Cheezy-TV-Addict

Nice use of “Bereft”!

Team Ashes (a.k.a. Bella 2.0)
197

CapitalCH

Posted March 7, 2007 at 8:42 pm

No don’t leave! I’m in love with you!!! What am I going to read now, all the other tvgasm people aren’t very funny they just recap. What a bad ending to an already bad day
198

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 7, 2007 at 9:03 pm

Thanks, B-Side!

That made me smile through my tears a little, then completely break down and lose it….

(Heavy, teary sigh)…But I’m OK, really I am… … … … … …. …

whaaaahhhhhWHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! -hiccup, sniffle, whimper. Repeat. Indefinitely.
199

allothertvgasmwriters

Posted March 7, 2007 at 9:17 pm

Thanks a lot, CapitalCH. Way to kick someone when they’re down. Real nice.
200

Blah Blah

Posted March 7, 2007 at 9:32 pm

Oh my God, b-side! You’re leaving us? Whyyyyyyyyy? Did you have a deal with TVgasm that you had to move on upon the first post that had 1000+ comments? I take back my comment then!

This sucks. Just when I was getting to know you, er, I mean your writing. No more hating on Heidi and Spencer? At least finish recapping The Hills (was this episode the season finale?).

I know I should be a good sport about it and wish you luck in your future endeavors – but I’m not gonna! ‘Cuz I’m too bitter right now.
201

jct2005

Posted March 7, 2007 at 9:35 pm

hilarious recap. thanks b-side and goodluck
202

netnuh

Posted March 7, 2007 at 10:35 pm

Lo comes back and B-Side leaves us? What kind of crazy mixed up Hills world is this?!

Im so sad….yet so happy to see Lo….what do I do?
203

TeamB-Side

Posted March 7, 2007 at 11:25 pm

Dear Mr. B-Side:

Lisa Love here and let me assure you, you’re being “dunzo” with The Hills recaps is most certainly NOT the Teen Vogue way of doing things. :::looking at W-w-whitney as I type (because I must type as you know how Lauen does not have the best handwriting, but I digress::: You will forever be remembered as the boy who left us mid-season..how did that work out for you? Oh, I know it’s too soon to tell, but just imagine answering that question 3 months from now B-Side..Even Lauren thinks it’s a “sucky” thing to happen.. no..no..no.. that is not true. Lauren is too nice to say that about you and your chocies..but still I must use all my weapons tryng to appeal for you to stay..

Sincerely, I wish you well B-Side. In a perfect world Don Antonio’s would name a margrita for you, just as they named a steak for Spencer.. Or, “B-Side” would be code for ordering carne asada.. asking for it “B-Side” would be code for “well done” — just like all of your writing here. Heidi would you have on the top page of her clipboard guest-listed every night for Area, and Lauren would give you something perfect made out of real diamonds. (Hands down Lauren really does have the best taste for gifts.)

Until then the stack of blank yellow sticky notes W-w-whitney will be sendng you for inspiration will have to do….

First, J-Unit . Now you. Please don’t give Screampillar any of these crazy ideas about moving on..Right now I only have those recaps of Friday Night Lights to live for.

All the best to you B-Side. You changed television viewing forever..

Sign me,
Donna (proud member of Team B-Side)
204

TeamB-Side

Posted March 7, 2007 at 11:40 pm

Dear Mr. B-Side:

Lisa Love here and let me assure you, you’re being “dunzo” with The Hills recaps is most certainly NOT the Teen Vogue way of doing things. :::looking at W-w-whitney as I type (because I must type as you know how Lauen does not have the best handwriting, but I digress::: You will forever be remembered as the boy who left us mid-season..how did that work out for you? Oh, I know it’s too soon to tell, but just imagine answering that question 3 months from now B-Side..Even Lauren thinks it’s a “sucky” thing to happen.. no..no..no.. that is not true. Lauren is too nice to say that about you and your chocies..but still I must use all my weapons tryng to appeal for you to stay..

Sincerely, I wish you well B-Side. In a perfect world Don Antonio’s would name a margrita for you, just as they named a steak for Spencer.. Or, “B-Side” would be code for ordering carne asada.. asking for it “B-Side” would be code for “well done” — just like all of your writing here. Heidi would you have on the top page of her clipboard guest-listed every night for Area, and Lauren would give you something perfect made out of real diamonds. (Hands down Lauren really does have the best taste for gifts.)

Until then the stack of blank yellow sticky notes W-w-whitney will be sendng you for inspiration will have to do….

First, J-Unit . Now you. Please don’t give Screampillar any of these crazy ideas about moving on..Right now I only have those recaps of Friday Night Lights to live for.

All the best to you B-Side. You changed television viewing forever..

Sign me,
Donna (proud member of Team B-Side) SNAP!
205

flodence

Posted March 8, 2007 at 12:29 am

B Side, you leaving us is NOT THE TEEN VOUGUE WAY OF DOING THINGS! Sob
206

LagunaConsultant

Posted March 8, 2007 at 5:49 am

Chee-Z¦

I tried that blueberry idea yesterday, but it didn’t turn out so well. Apparently my boss didn’t think the tracksuit was very “work appropriate.” Oh well, I guess I could have spruced it up a little by wearing a blueberry tie.

I mean c’mon, what was wrong with that outfit for a mandated shirt and tie office building? I looked like I was ready to go to a Laguna Beach prom¦
207

reeeeelbigfsh

Posted March 8, 2007 at 6:48 am

p.s.

Can we have one last fois gras picture?

PLEASE????!
208

honey123

Posted March 8, 2007 at 7:10 am

I just had to create a profile to write a comment. I just found this website 3 weeks ago and read all the LB and Hills recaps and have become hooked.
You are a fabulous writer and I wish you continued great success!!
209

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 8, 2007 at 7:48 am

People just don’t get it Laguna, it’s not about taste, or appropriate work attire – it’s all about respekt. Booyah.

I STILL haven’t commented on the episode, because I am STILL mourning the loss of our TVgasm idols. I have the double whammy of being cross-addicted to RW AND TH/LB – Now I don’t know WHAT to do, B-Side was my “gateway” drug. The highs just won’t be as high, and the lows just might kill me. Luckily, I’m no quitter – so I’ll still pursue the elusive and ecstatic giddiness I experienced after my first B-Side recap.

Ah well, ((sigh)). I actually have to do some work now, but I’ll be checking in. I may very well have to drink some wine tonight… Just to numb the edges of my psychic pain.

PS – I am still hoping you’ll grab the The Hills baton from B-Side, and run with it. It’s kind of like “Rock Star”, but smarter, and funnier. And it’s not a rock band, it’s the internet.

I need to grab the Caseydilla/Terri Schaivo screencap and find a discreet place to hang it on my office. Every time I look at it, I crack up – it will be my visual homage to B-Side.
210

tigereye

Posted March 8, 2007 at 8:16 am

I heard from a birdy this was coming, though I didn’t realize so soon! B, you were my introduction to the ‘gasm and always what kept me coming back for more. I was one of the droves that pledged my love to you and in response you assured me you may already be a douche. haha, good times! I never thought I’d laugh till I cried over Laguna or any other internet reading, really. Alas, I have, fo sho, over and over again. THANKS! I’m so happy for you and your next endeavors. What great opportunities! I’m proud of ya, bro. Bravo, Bravo
211

YouWannaBMe

Posted March 8, 2007 at 8:21 am

This is indeed a sad, sad day! Not only do I NOT get a Heroes recap anymore, but no more B-side?!?!?!?! Oh, and not to rain on your parade or anything, B-side, but “close proximity” is redundant. Just a little bit of writing criticizm for you before you leave. I will miss you SO MUCH! Good luck to you and the opportunities you have to look forward too. You will be missed.

Love, Danielle
212

3G_Phil

Posted March 8, 2007 at 10:26 am

Thank you B-Side, J-Unit, Ed-Hill, sg-dub, MYL (for the bad Paris interview) and the rest of the original cast for a great (but too short) series!!! You will all go down in TV blogging memory as a ground breaking event. Good bye TVgasm.

Travel safe.

The World is waiting.

Go!!
213

dmbislove

Posted March 8, 2007 at 10:34 am

B-side it has been a pleasure to read your recaps. Recaps of The Hills, RW and of course BIG BROTHER just won’t be the same. You are hilarious. I wish you all the luck in the future!

For all of you talking about leaving, I urge you to stick around. Schoonie is an awesome recapper!
214

BlondeGirl

Posted March 8, 2007 at 10:55 am

@ Brunette (#194): Hey, hey, hey. Let’s get something straight here. I only called you drunk last night because I can’t say no to the deliciousness that is Stella Artois and Boddingtons and you’re the first person on my speed dial. No other reason. And I texted you whilst drunk on Tuesday – I didn’t call!
215

TitsMagee

Posted March 8, 2007 at 11:34 am

I have been coming to TV gasm for a few years and I just wanted to give a shoutout to all of you who post here. I literally have just as much fun reading all of your comments/news/sidebars/etc. as I do reading the actual posts.

LagunaConsultant- I hope you fill the ginormous shoes left behind by B-Side. You are emerging as a master…now you must find your own Roz! Any volunteers?

peace to fulfill the dream 78.
216

LagunaConsultant

Posted March 8, 2007 at 11:53 am

This is why I love posting with you all. We have bickering sister’s arguing about accusatory posts regarding drunken texting. BayArea is waking up with a hangover as we speak. Chee-Z just polished off her second bottle of Sutter Home while at work. We have a nursing student who poured cough syrup on the carpet for B-Side cuz he’s “in the struggle.” This is awesome.
217

lexi8219

Posted March 8, 2007 at 12:09 pm

Did you check out Heidi’s interview:
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/celebrity/la-ca-convers4mar04,1,7875078.story?page=1&coll=la-celebrity-news

I’m sorry but she is just obnoxious. She fails to realize she only is on a show because of her “best friend”. She would most definitely still be a nobody and wouldn’t have even met her beloved Spencer. She thinks it is equally her show with Lauren. I don’t think she became friends with Lauren for the show, but she is definitely taking full advantage of it. Her attitude is horrible. I sit here and wonder what lauren must be thinking after watching the show now and seeing what really goes on…Heidi and Spencers conversations and Heidi’s conversation to Jenn, “Do what you want it’s your birthday just have fun”…
She’s a loser.
218

BrunetteGirl

Posted March 8, 2007 at 12:20 pm

BlondeGirl #214 You did call me drunk on Tuesday night I just didn’t answer the phone.
Anyways I still haven’t been able to bring myself to read this recap it’s just to hard right now.

Also I think LagunaConsultant should take over the recaps.
219

BlondeGirl

Posted March 8, 2007 at 12:39 pm

Oh yeah I forgot about that. And is it really drunk texting if it’s coherent?

@ LagunaConsultant: Wow, we sound like a bunch of alcoholics run amok. But we do what we can and if the result is awesomeness, then…
220

jozeyg

Posted March 8, 2007 at 1:23 pm

I had an epiphany…..(and someone probably already said the same thing, so sorry if i’m repeating) Heidi only became friends with Lauren because she was on Laguna Beach and that would be her chance to get on tv. Cuz it was kind of shady for her to become friends with Kristin. I mean, c’mon…you just started being friends with Lauren, she invites you to Laguna and let’s you stay at her house for the summer and you become friends with the person that she truly does not like. So….i don’t think she ever really liked Lauren or even does now, she was in it for the fame. She probably wanted to be better friends with Kristin because they’re both concieted b*****s,and at that time Kristin was starting to get alot more attention. But when she found out Lauren was gonna have her own show, she thought better to stick with her, so she can be a star. And all the while still being good friends with Kristen. and probably talking behind Lauren’s back. It’s obvious in her interviews that she wants to become a big star(not gonna happen) and she doesn’t care if she hurts anyone’s feelings. She latches on to the people that will get her to fame….lauren, kristen, spencer and brody. I can’t stand her!! She’ll be doing a ‘britney’ by next year.

p.s. B-side, don’t leave!!! your recaps are the only ones that i read! Hills isn’t over yet, RW isn’t over yet and the RR/RW challenges are coming soon! How about you stay and just recap those 3

……….anyways, good luck to you, and i wish you alllllll the best *mwah*
221

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 8, 2007 at 1:35 pm

ALRIGHT, Listen up ‘Guna…

I would NEVER drink Sutter’s Home wine at work!

Although, I did have a nice glass of Mouton Cadet Red Bordeaux at lunch today. OK, I had two. And a half. But I only drove two blocks. Miles.

I’m still planning on having some when I get home tonight too…

Maybe I’m lost, and should be posting on the “Intervention” blog. Where is it?

AND I STILL HAVEN’T posted any witty repartee pertaining to SpenceWhore and Heidi-Ho. I’m off my game dammit! Could be the wine, or the fact that my bookkeeper called in today (FAKER!), and now I have to do math ((
222

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 8, 2007 at 1:42 pm

I had to laugh a little, when I posted this I noticed the ad at the top right is for an HBO movie called “Addiction, Why Can’t They Just Stop?”.

Apparently a lot of us like to imbibe a little, plus we’re all addicted to TVgasm – very apropos I thought! LOL!

BayArea, BrunetteGirl and Blonde Girl – you guys should put that on your calendar – I know I’m going to.

…not really…. LOL!
223

BayArea

Posted March 8, 2007 at 1:50 pm

Ill post on the “Intervention” blog when Chee Z and the one sister head over…

‘Guna Con – so are you thinking about taking over this or what? You’d be starting out with a fan base already.

I woke up sans hangover…I only had half a bottle of wine last night (Yellow Tail, Chardonnay). After my test this afternoon me and some people from class are gonna go across the street for some shots..so tomarrow may be different.

I cant believe no one has really said anything about the actual hills episode but we’re at 200. B-Side is just THAT important. It’s like the board is taking a couple days for some Hills silence to mourn him leaving.
224

Mgasm

Posted March 8, 2007 at 1:51 pm

long-time reader & first-time poster…B-side’s early retirement has brought me out of the woodwork..
B-side, I can’t believe that you went to work for the L.A. Times writing about the Hills. WTF?
Does anybody else live on the Westside (ala teen vogue style)? If you do…I think that we should throw B-side and J-unit a going away party at Don Antonio’s. We will hire Emily, the super-intern to decorate and Wh-Wh-Whitney can write the invitations. What does everybody think? J-Bunny, you are not invited!! You have been banished to sidekick HELL!!!
225

Mrs.Meow

Posted March 8, 2007 at 1:58 pm

Ok, I am a little confused – with B-Side and J-Unit are leaving…does that mean there will be no more Hills, Heroes, etc recaps AT ALL, or are there people who will be doing them? Because I will be even sadder if I won’t have those to console me…
226

Cdogg

Posted March 8, 2007 at 2:23 pm

Mgasm,

I’m with you. Party at Don Antonio’s.

Bside, are you and J-Unit in, or what?
227

Emily

Posted March 8, 2007 at 2:28 pm

I dont live in LA. I live about 5 hours away in Arizona, but I would so drive to LA for a party for B-Side and J-Unit at Don Antonios!! Woot!!
228

Mgasm

Posted March 8, 2007 at 3:08 pm

OMG Emily!!! It’s totally on. When should we do it?
B-side, what day is good for you?
Do you think they could fit in such a large party? You know…they might have to feed Speidi’s huge ego that day?
229

LagunaConsultant

Posted March 8, 2007 at 3:16 pm

My dearest apologies Chee-Z. First I made the accusation of boxed merlot, which you rebuffed by stating you drank “cheap wine by the bottle,” so Sutter Home was the next logical guess.

I don’t know what’s going to happen with the whole Hills/Laguna recap thing. It seems as if my pleas have gone unheard at this moment. I guess we’ll just have to settle for whoever they plug into the spot.

I’ll tell you one thing, they better be good or I’m going to torture them.
230

Cdogg

Posted March 8, 2007 at 3:16 pm

B-Side and J-Unit,

Your Spencer steaks are on me! Emily, yours too for the trek.
231

BlondeGirl

Posted March 8, 2007 at 3:42 pm

If someone will be the designated driver I would make the two hour trip from San Diego to Don Antonio’s for a party.

Chee-Z, that “Intervention” ad is fitting for this page. Though I hold that the real people who need an intervention are the people who offer to buy me drinks – I’m not going to be mean and say no. Well, not since I did one time in the bar on campus and the guy flipped out on me and asked me “if I knew who he was?!?!”. That dude’s douchebaggery was of Spencer-ian proportions.
232

Manda408

Posted March 8, 2007 at 3:50 pm

B-SIDE you can’t leave, seriously. Not after the 1000+ comments you had following last week’s article! That was AWESOME. That was the first one I ever read from you and I cannot get enough. You cannot leave. It just isn’t right to leave in the middle of a show. If you do leave you should wait until this season is over! You need to finish this season of The Hills and then you can go on your merry way… well no. I’d rather you not, but still… Come on! You can’t just give up! We love you and we love your writing.
233

Emily

Posted March 8, 2007 at 4:10 pm

Awesome Cdogg!! Thats so nice-thank you!!

I am uber excited for the party at Don Antonios!! Great idea Mgasm! Weekends work best for me, but I am willing to take time off work for this!!

I am ready for life changing Mexican!!
234

skyduster

Posted March 8, 2007 at 4:15 pm

created an account just to comment on b-side. thanks so much for the laughs. I was just telling someone today that I watch some shows just to read the recaps.

I’ll never forget the live blog of big brother when chenbot said but first for the first time this season.

good times.

thank you b-side
235

georgiababe

Posted March 8, 2007 at 8:37 pm

Bye B-Side! You are seriously the greatest recapper this world has ever known! I will miss your quick wit and the laughter that has resulted from your brilliant recaps. You will be sorely missed.

If I am ever in L.A., I will be on the lookout for you. Assuming, of course, that you will be staying in Los Angeles. Mwah! It’s been wonderful!

Love always,
~Georgia~
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
236

TVCheese

Posted March 8, 2007 at 8:55 pm

I’m currently drinking hot chocolate with Bailey’s right now– it’s flipping COLD here on the East Coast. Just wanted to participate in the “drinking while checking out the Hills message board” experience.

LagunaConsultant, I’m really sad to hear that you haven’t received a response yet. I would gladly read your recaps as I enjoy all your detailed thought provoking comments.

As for your departure B-Side, I’ve refrained from posting so far b/c I feel a little pathetic about how much I’ll miss your recaps. They really did brighten up my day quite often. Good luck to you!!
237

stellastarr

Posted March 8, 2007 at 9:07 pm

I’m a long time reader, first time poster.
I started reading your re-caps at the beginning of Laguna Beach Season 2. from then on I’ve loyally read you recapps about Laguna Beach and the Hills, and I must say, it was some of the best stuff ever.

I will miss you tons and good luck in your future, but you will be missed, a lot.

But back to the Hills, has anyone been reading TV guide? Two weeks in a row the Hills got jeered in the “cheers and jeers” section..And I really can’t blieve that after all of these eppisodes airing, Hedi still can’t see Spencer for the jerk that he is. When will the brainwashing end? If these two end up on Enggaged and Underage, my tv will be flying through my window.
238

murphena

Posted March 8, 2007 at 9:38 pm

I missed this episode on TV so I was eagerly awaiting the recap (which is better than the show anyway) only to find out that B-Side is leaving… I’m still not over J-Unit’s departure. Wishing you all the best — you’ll be missed!
239

BlondeGirl

Posted March 8, 2007 at 11:13 pm

TVCheese, you just made my day. Hot chocolate an Baileys while checking The Hills comments….This site is awesome.
240

chaos

Posted March 9, 2007 at 12:06 am

“But back to the Hills, has anyone been reading TV guide? Two weeks in a row the Hills got jeered in the “cheers and jeers” section”

I’m not surprised. This season sucks. I just had to quit watching after seeing the Heidi-Spencer nonsense in 5 straight episodes. A lot of people who watched S1 stopped watching S2. S2 is garbage.
241

BlondeGirl

Posted March 9, 2007 at 12:23 am

“S2 is garbage.”

BLASPHEMY.
242

luxe

Posted March 9, 2007 at 7:19 am

i’m really going to miss b-side a lot..

but all you commenters are what’s going to keep me here. i love this site so much! all you guys are awesome.
243

ABC Girl

Posted March 9, 2007 at 7:37 am

What is this about?

http://perezhilton.com/topics/lauren_conrad/are_you_a_fan_of_the_hills_20070309.php

Anyone care to throw out an opinion on this?
244

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 9, 2007 at 8:00 am

It’s OK Laguna Consultant, I actually only drink cheap FRENCH wine. The Mouton Cadet I buy is $8 a bottle! I’m a cheap date. LOL!

I hope you hear back from MYL and TVgasm – but I’m right there with you if you’re not and the new recapper isn’t funny. There will be HELL to pay! HELL I TELL YOU!!!!!

I never did drink any wine last night, I had to take the hubby to the ER and didn’t get home until 3:30 am. He’s OK, but all the sick people hacking and coughing without covering their mouths were freaking me out! I HATE sick people!

Well back to work for now, drinking for sure tonight, and I’m sure I’ll be checking in. I think we should have an on-line toast to B-Side next Monday when the next episode of The Hills airs. I’m going to have a “Lauren” – reference last recap’s comments for guide to “The Hills” cocktails.

Man, I never say this because I think it’s corny – but I actually really mean it – TGIF!!!!!!!!!!
245

MissKatrina

Posted March 9, 2007 at 8:12 am

I have been sick all week and hoped that a B-Side recap would boost my immune system, but now I think I might relapse due to sadness!

Good luck to you B-Side, let the awesome power of “RED GOD!” guide you in your travels.
246

betwixt

Posted March 9, 2007 at 9:01 am

Okay — first time commenter. I had to post when I saw this because I’m a stalker.

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117952711.html?categoryid=29&cs=1
247

lovinlaguna

Posted March 9, 2007 at 9:33 am

Thank you betwixt for posting that…now we finally know his last name and can follow him!
248

jaliyah

Posted March 9, 2007 at 10:39 am

This is just too depressing. First, I come down with CHICKEN POX this week…and I’m 27 years old, by the way..then my boss decides he needs me to come in since the contagious stage is over…so here i am, thinking I can at least enjoy B-Side’s recaps, and now to hear this! Worst week EVER! B-Side, I will truly miss you and your writing. Things here just will not be the same. I would like to know what is really going on, I know i heard somewhere that B-Side and J-Unit were founders/owners of this site…so what happened? We’ll miss you, B-Side!
249

Pamsey

Posted March 9, 2007 at 12:11 pm

Oh dear beloved B-Side, all will be forgiven if you PROMISE to make a guest appearance in the summer and recap Big Brother.
Lots of good wishes to you and thanks for all the laugh out loud moments!
Team Chenbot
250

BlondeGirl

Posted March 9, 2007 at 12:20 pm

Thanks betwixt!

I’ve officially reached a new level of pathetic. Instead of putting dishes in boxes like I should be, because the movers will be here in less than 24 hours, I have chosen instead to sit in front of my computer and google B-Side.
251

fulfill_the_dream_78

Posted March 9, 2007 at 1:00 pm

So B-Side went to Dartmouth.

I knew he was smarter than the rest of us.
252

Emily

Posted March 9, 2007 at 1:52 pm

So have I Blondegirl, so have I. Instead of working on stuff that needs to be done today, I am googling B-Side.
253

FastBetty

Posted March 9, 2007 at 2:34 pm

I’ve never posted before, but B-Side’s untimely and devastating departure shattered my shyness (and my heart). I accidentally stumbled across this site about a year ago. I had never seen any of the MTV shows (and still never have), but I was instantly ensnared and ripped through the archives, reading everything B-side in a matter of days, like some kind of batshit crazy, tweaked addict on a bender. Ever since, I check for new B-side material daily, even when I know he isn’t scheduled to release anything, because trifles like “schedule” lose all meaning when I’m jonesing. Now, I’ll be left in a damp and convulsing heap–I just ask someone to fetch me a spoon when tremors reach treacherous levels.

LagunaConsultant and Chee-Z are both mildly hilarious and–I think–can do the recaps justice. I have a pretty clear image in my mind for each of you. LC – you’re an avant-garde, rumpled and witty suit with an edge, maybe smelling vaguely of mothballs. Think: a younger LaPaglia in Without A Trace
Chee-Z you’re a female Barney Stinson (of How I Met Your Mother-esteem) with an elusive, but flashy job, an apt full of impressive electronic gadgets, and a fantastic backlit porn collection.
Am I warm?

I digress…B-Side, I won’t diminish your talent by wishing you luck. You are a true rarity in your ability to weave words into sheaths of hilarity and verve. Your writing will always leave a scar.

You are a genuine wordsmith, and you will be deeply missed.
254

jairocon

Posted March 9, 2007 at 3:40 pm

Thx B-Side! So sorry to see you go. Hope you find your way to MSRs. Good luck!!!
255

Mere

Posted March 9, 2007 at 5:49 pm

Anyone interested in attending Jen Bunney’s birthday party (granted it was 3 months ago)??? Well here’s the facebook invite she sent out…http://regiscollege.facebook.com/event.php?eid=2220733643, you’ll have to have a facebook to see it though.
256

4thandgill

Posted March 9, 2007 at 7:57 pm

1st time posting…but had to because bside is leaving. And I had to post on the show (or spin-off) that’s given me so much fun for so long. We knew you were way too smart and witty to keep trolling away in this realm, but we have loved your presence nonetheless. I’m a 40 year-old, phi beta kappa with a masters in sciece and I admit that somtimes I have to look up words and phrases to get the inside jokes you put in your writing. YOU ARE SO GOOD! I’ve been addicted to you for 2+ years now. Only the folks on this blog understand how I have to get home on Mondays (or whenever Laguna is on) to see “the show” so that I can laugh until it hurts when I read the recaps. Tonight I had to explain to my husband why I was welling up with tears when I did my weekly check of the recap.

Good luck! We love you.
257

cath619

Posted March 9, 2007 at 10:58 pm

first-time poster… b-side you will be so missed, i hope all the characters (sidekicks, if you will?) stick around.

BlondeGirl you rule! i’m an expat from PB, and your comments make me homesick. back in the comments from the last recap, i loved the 92109/92037 shout-out; i can’t believe taco surf didn’t change your life (did you have the torrey nachos?!); did you notice one of your comments was #858? you and brunettegirl rock. but back to the hills.

LO!!! i love lo.
258

LagunaConsultant

Posted March 10, 2007 at 12:08 am

An Avant-Garde huh¦ That’s great. I haven’t heard that name since high school history. I’m not so sure I’ve started a movement from the norm quite yet, we’ll see what the next few months have in store and I’ll get back to you on that. At any rate, you pretty much have me pegged minus the stench of mothballs. I typically carry an aroma of A1 and cheap cologne.
259

silicone

Posted March 10, 2007 at 12:46 am

I’ve lurked here for nearly a year now, and am sad to see b-side go. Good luck! Thanks for the laughs!

I can’t be the only one who thinks Heidi is using Lauren to achieve her own fame. I think she made up the entire pregnancy scare just to get a juicier story line than Lauren. I think she’d sell her soul to Satan for 15 minutes of fame. She is just as unscrupulous as Spencer. Two peas in a pod.
I long for the innocent Laguna Beach days.

Lauren looks great – love the new hairstyle. Her style has also improved dramatically this season. It’s also good to see her become more independent this season…she’s lost some of her naivete.
260

CMC

Posted March 10, 2007 at 8:34 am

Count me amongst the wine-drinking fools (note: I say that endearingly in the event it comes off as an insult to anyone) who are distressed about the “loss” of our beloved B-Side. Embarrassingly, I am nursing a hangover right now, which is particularly unfortunate since we are losing an hour this weekend. But with the reality of B-Side’s departure setting in last night, a bottle of Chardonnay felt like my only friend.

It was hard enough when LagunaConsultant seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth for a while there. Welcome back, my friend! I didn’t always agree with everything you said, but I definitely respected your self-deprecating brand of humor.

Hopefully B-Side will find a way to check in every so often and keep us posted (pun intended!) on how he’s doing.

I’m going to take an aspirin now.
261

BlondeGirl

Posted March 10, 2007 at 9:08 am

@ cath619: No, you rule! Where are you now? What, I got post 858 last week? Awesome! I would never have noticed that. And, yes! Someone got my 92109 and 92037 shout out – though I’ve just gone urbanite and moved to 92101 (Little Italy) which while it doesn’t have life changing Mexican DOES have a life changing 7-11. I’m not even joking. I went in this morning for a sandwich and came out with a turkey and horseradish chive harvati cheese sandwhich on wheat walnut scallion bread with peppered bacon and grilled onions; how could that not be life-changing? It was and it was delicious. I digress. I never had the Torrey Nachos at Taco Surf, I will make a point of going to try them next time I get out to PB. Are they genuinely awesome or do I need to be drunk for the awesomeness of the Torrey Nachos? The only life changing experience I ever had with Taco Surf was having one of their breakfast burrito’s with too much hot sauce and then having to go swim La Jolla cove as part of swim team practice. Nothing like swimming in 60 degree ocean water in Feburary while the hot sauce is making your stomach burn! And they do have awesome guacamole, just not life changing – Su Casa’s is pretty life changing though. But in PB Los Panchos, Los Dos Pedros and the place in that blue house on Balboa where Grand and Balboa meet – something -berto’s maybe – are pretty life changing (also for the non-mexican related food: Ichiban for sushi, Kono’s for breakfast, Cafe Athena for greek, and that creepy bar Rocky’s for burgers), as is that Casa something place (not Guadalajara) in Old Town between the Diamond Exchange and the elementary school. That place also does an amazing, life-changing margarita on the rocks. Anyway glad you enjoyed my comments!
262

Amanda

Posted March 10, 2007 at 10:03 am

Someone wants to send file elliott smith – Basement Demos – Let’s Turn the Record Over.mp3 (1:00:36 PM).
Someone (1:00:41 PM): this is a really good b-side

Oh man. That really made me tear up.
263

cath619

Posted March 10, 2007 at 2:26 pm

Ahhh, BlondeGirl, you may have lost Ichiban (steamed gyoza!!! bowl of little candies!!!), but you have gained life-changing eggplant parm sandwiches at Mimmo’s Italian Village and chocolate croissants at Caffe Italia!! I am amazed about the 7-11. Definitely will try a life-changing fancy sandwich next time I’m down. (I’m in SLC now. Been here twice as long as I planned; will be back in the beach by 2008.)
264

BrunetteGirl

Posted March 11, 2007 at 2:48 pm

Man I feel like we get screwed out of life changing food in LA. I mean we have Don Antonio’s but thats about it. I would say Malibu Seafood is life changing but that would be mean to do to BlondeGirl, although I did have a life changing protein bar at Sherwood country club but thats neither here nor there.
Anyways I was finally able to bring myself to read the recap which was of course phenomenal!
265

Catherine

Posted March 12, 2007 at 5:18 am

Here’s one of my favourite recap pieces by B-Side (from LB2):

“Dude, it sucks ’cause like I really liked her. And like it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. Like, I wanted to f*ckin’ marry the chick,” said Jason, clearly in a world of hurt. Or actually, more like a world of haze and bubble letters, but that’s besides the point. Luckily, Dr. Talan had the prescription for romantic resolution. He suggested that Jason call up LC and say, “Look LC, I need you to talk to me, but I need to literally sit down and have a person-to-person conversation, but you need to talk to me. I’ll meet you anywhere, anytime, but I want to talk to you.” This was then followed by Jason giving his patented blank stare. Looks like Talan overloaded the system. Too… many… words…

I cry with laughter everytime I read this, and I start laughing before I even watch this bit of the episode lol

I’ll miss you B-Side
266

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 12, 2007 at 6:49 am

FastBetty,

Pretty close except for the porn, I keep that hidden in my “feminine products” drawer in the bathroom.

Are we all on for our “Hills” toast to B-Side tonight? Laguna?

BTW- Laguna did you ever hear anything back from TVgasm? Hope so!
267

LagunaConsultant

Posted March 12, 2007 at 8:52 am

Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s going to work out. Oh well, you win some and you lose some.

I’m scared shitless to see who they are going to have fill in here. B-Side’s recaps always use to start my week on the right track. Now, it’s going to be like waking up on the wrong side of the bed every morning. I’ll wind up joining the legion of winos on this board within 2 weeks of bad recaps.

You never know I guess, they could wind up putting someone awesome in here, but I’m not holding my breath. I’m more nervous to see who writes the recap now than I am about whether my car needs a new transmission, and that’s a $2400 fix.
268

luxe

Posted March 12, 2007 at 10:33 am

i’m in for the toast.
269

southernbelle

Posted March 12, 2007 at 11:07 am

My horrible, awful computer hasn’t been allowing me to sign in and comment the last few weeks. During the comment frenzy of the last Hills recap, I was allowed to leave one. One.

So, I’ve broken into my neighbor’s house to quickly sign in and say goodbye to B-Side.
Your recaps kept me more than entertained through several semesters, research projects, and all-nighters “working.” I’d like to say that my computer has a constant film of sugary beverages(which in part, may be exactly why it isn’t working so well nowadays)from my having taken a quick sip only to spit it out immediately upon reading your recaps. The worst was when I was sitting in the back of the lab with my headphones on, pretending to be listening to whatever we were working on, but really reading recaps. I was dying laughing, and everyone around me looked at me in disgust. I didn’t know the subject matter of the lab session was going to be so serious that day, so I seemed horribly incompassionate. I had to defend myself to the faculty advisors so that I wouldn’t be removed from that project. From then on, I read recaps only when it would be okay for me to laugh or shoot coke out my nose. Too often, I would be preparing to stay up all night working on research, only to decide to pop over to check out recaps. Many times, my boyfriend would come in to check on my progress in the middle of the night, only to see me laughing at your recaps.
Tvgasms could never be faked.

So, all in all…tedious, mundane, or SUCKY tasks have been made so much more tolerable thanks to your recaps.
You and J Unit will always be my “Major Awesome” and “Sergeant Extreme.”

On another hand, reading everyone else’s comments have made this much more tolerable. Kind of like getting tickled at a funeral–you know it’s completely inappropriate, but it makes you not quite so sad.
Laguna, Chee-Z, Tits, and the color-haired girls(just to name a few): I’ve laughed my bum off at the banter between all of y’all.
CheeZ, I even started calling someone at work “Little Miss Thorazine.” It’s appropriate working in a mental health facility, but she’s an employee, not a patient.

Oh, gotta go. My neighbor’s home.

Good night B-Side. God speed.
270

Miss Information

Posted March 12, 2007 at 11:36 am

Not going to work out? Not going to work out??? Unless Kristen herself is going to be doing the recaps, who could possibly be better suited? Bah.
271

jetJames

Posted March 12, 2007 at 12:14 pm

Thanks for all the awesome recaps, B-Side.

Good luck!
272

BlondeGirl

Posted March 12, 2007 at 12:17 pm

Chee-Z, I’m in for the toast. Even if stupid Cox still doesn’t have my cable up by tonight. Cox has usurped B-Side leaving as number one on my Lame List this week.

Laguna, that sucks dude. Was looking forward to you [hopefully] taking over.

cath619, ah the little bowl of candies!! So good. I’m going to check out these chocolate croissants at Caffe Italia of which you spoke.

Brunette, no you can say Malibu Seafood is life changing even if you are number two on my Lame List right now. (You know what you did – “I’m watching the tennis” – I hope you get lost in the vortex that is Palm Springs on your way back up to Los Angeles) It definitely was for me last time we went. I will probably never eat fish and chips or be able to look at malt vinegar again. And wasn’t that a Peanut Butter Crunch Clif Bar at Sherwood? No that was Riviera.
273

BlondeGirl

Posted March 12, 2007 at 12:42 pm

I nearly forgot. In weird the Hills meets my reality news I just found out that Brody Jenner now lives in a property up in Malibu (Villa Malibu) that my dad’s company owns or operates or something. This brings across a couple of thoughts:

1. I think it is now my sworn duty to stake this place out whenever I go up to LA to visit Brunette (Villa Malibu is typically where I stay when I do!) so we can run across Brody and SpeceWhore and a) yell Team Conrad b) call Spencer a tool (just to see if he pitches another fit) and c) document it with pictures or video.

2a. WHY THE HELL is Brody Jenner given a free apartment for a year and I’m not?.

2b. Oh wait. I live rent free too and the commute from The ‘Bu to SDSU twice a week would suck.

3. Note to self (and anyone who lives there, visits there, or just sneaks into the pool area there): Don’t go within ten feet of the jacuzzi. Heard gross, gross stuff about used things they’ve found in there and stuff they’ve caught on the security cameras…bleh!
274

BlondeGirl

Posted March 12, 2007 at 12:47 pm

Crap. That third thought should be finished with: especially since Brody moved in or so the that’s the word on the street.

And by “word on the street” I mean one of the Maintenance Techs that work for my dad.
275

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 12, 2007 at 12:53 pm

I’m more nervous to see who writes the recap now than I am about whether my car needs a new transmission, and that’s a $2400 fix.

Wow. That is a definite Double Curse of Don Antonio’s – (Insert joke about bad gas here). Hope the car fix isn’t $2400 – that truly does suck.

I’ll be here for the toasty-toast. I’m already chilling the mixin’s for my “Lauren”. I am so conflicted, I’m dying to see the new episode, yet apprehensive about a possibly disapointing recap – I feel a little nauseous.
276

BlondeGirl

Posted March 12, 2007 at 2:50 pm

Damn. I finally got around to actually reading this recap. I laughed at gems like this: “WELL! Looks like somebody missed Meryl Streep’s big cerulean belt monologue in Devil Wears Prada. For shame!,”
I cried a little, but mostly because my cat jumped up next to me and put it’s tail in my face and my eyes starting watering and I came away wanting katzenzungen – which while its delicious, thinking ‘Mmm…chocolate cat tongues,’ is a little disturbing.
277

realitytvluvr

Posted March 12, 2007 at 2:51 pm

B-Side…. I have been thoroughly enjoying your recaps for over a year now and have never posted a single comment… until now. I feel that your departure warrants ACTION! I must express my great disappointment regarding your exit from TVG. Your humor, wit and EFFING AWESOME recaps will surely be missed by all… best of luck to you and thanks for all the laughs!!

btw – where are you going?
278

notmars

Posted March 12, 2007 at 6:11 pm

Just for you B-side..I have concocted the B-SideTini for your farewell toast tonight. Here are the ingrediants:
* One shot vodka
* splash dry vermouth
* splash of Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur (in honor of our swanky Hills’ Gals’ taste)
* splash of pulp free OJ (cuz it screams ‘California’)
* slice a Godiva chocolate and place on side of glass for a garnish.

ENJOY!!! Oh man..I’ve had 3 already and had to bring the Godiva bottle to my laptop so I spelled ‘liqueur’ correctly. My brain is not working.

Oh B-side…WE WILL MISS YOU. Now let’s get this ‘Sweet 16′ BS episode done and watch Heidi and Lauren DUKE IT OUT. I hope punches are thrown at Sponge Bob Square Head (AKA ‘Spencer’)

P.S. I am taking a shot of Godiva Chocolate Liqueur every time I see Lauren wear a headband in tonight’s episode.

Oh..and one more thing B-side..if you have ANY PULL OR LOVE FOR THIS SAD, SINGLE FAN FROM MN..can you puh-lease have someone there start recapping ‘Real Housewives of OC?’ It’s the 30+ gal’s version of ‘Guna Beach and The Hills. Who am I kidding..I watch them all religiously no matter what my age. I can only hope nursing homes of the future have cable.
279

Amanda

Posted March 12, 2007 at 6:23 pm

White chocolate liqueur + orange juice?

That kind of sounds a little gross. The rest of it sounds pretty darn good though.
280

BlondeGirl

Posted March 12, 2007 at 6:43 pm

“I am taking a shot of Godiva Chocolate Liqueur every time I see Lauren wear a headband in tonight’s episode.”

Fun. A Hills drinking game!

Chee-Z: how was your Lauren cocktail?
281

B-Side

Posted March 12, 2007 at 7:47 pm

omg — i lost alll my phootos! my camera was lost/stolen/gone — which wouldn’t be so bad, but except i had a photo of none other than PRINCE CHARLES himself on my reell. ALAS! My b ad for losing my camera…
282

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

Posted March 12, 2007 at 8:25 pm

My “Lauren” x 3 was EXCELLENT!!!!

I was on the phone with my friend the whole time, and we were laughing at Heidi’s “I think I might have fucked up…” expressions. LOL!!!

B-Side, that totally sucks about your camera! The Curse of Don Antonio’s apparently has the ability to cross the pond – we must come up with an antidote or ritual to nullify the curse. I think you should try the “B-Side” – that sounds like it could kill just about anything! (Sounds good though!). Glad to see you’re still checking in….

Laguna?? Where are you? Did you toast?

I am now going to bed, because 3 cocktails is going to make for a less than spectacular morning tomorrow. No regrets though, B-Side is worth it!

Team B-Side all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hiccup, hiccup, yawnnnnnn………
283

BayArea

Posted March 12, 2007 at 9:17 pm

I have my wine ready for the Hills in 45 mins.

Im so sad that Laguna isnt going to re-cap. I dont trust anyone else!! The next person better be excellent and speedy with their recap.

I need to start a Hills drinking game with the head band…I think that would defenitly amuse me.
284

livemusicjunkie

Posted March 13, 2007 at 8:56 am

So sad you will no longer be writing here, B-side. But CONGRATS on your new endeavors!!!

So I’m bummed because this is the second episode that my Tivo failed to record (never did see the ep where Spencer yelled at that guy for commenting on Heidi’s attire) and, once again, I’m not seeing it in the upcoming listings. Has that happened to anyone else??? SUX!

Still on TEAM LAUREN – Heidi is a SUCKY person, just like her BF.
285

lexi8219

Posted March 13, 2007 at 9:27 am

livemusicjunkie-
Did you know you can watch the episodes online at mtv.com? It’s a good way to catch up if you’ve missed one. =)
286

livemusicjunkie

Posted March 13, 2007 at 12:37 pm

Thank you, lexi…I knew that, but my internet connection is too slow to watch an entire episode of something.
287

MariaIsabell

Posted March 13, 2007 at 12:44 pm

O(k J-Unit leaving was bad enough. B-Side was my favorite blogger, I honestly don’t know if I can continue to read TVgasm. It won’t be the same.

BSide you have been great, you have made me laugh & Cry from laughing so hard during my workday. You will be sorely missed.
Good Luck
FUCKER.

Recap: Totally Dunzo

Team Tacky!

Little known fact: Jade is short for Jadenschfitzenstreudel.

“Hey, you’re pretty cool after all! Now say something about J-Wahl!”

“If only I had a blank Stickie to express my disappointment.”

**“Whitney! Go tell Jade that her fladle uberbacken are ready!”**

**“But Mother, what about my apfelpfannkuchen?”**

“Whitney, NEIN!!”

“Heidi, I can already tell I’m going to be on Team Norbit.”

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Recap: Totally Dunzo

Team Tacky!

Little known fact: Jade is short for Jadenschfitzenstreudel.

“Hey, you’re pretty cool after all! Now say something about J-Wahl!”

“If only I had a blank Stickie to express my disappointment.”

“Whitney! Go tell Jade that her fladle uberbacken are ready!”

“But Mother, what about my apfelpfannkuchen?”

“Whitney, NEIN!!”

“Heidi, I can already tell I’m going to be on Team Norbit.”

If you like it, spread it!:

287 Comments

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TV Social

Login

Recent Comments

Subscribe to Blog

Hot Shows

Fresh Tweets!

**“Whitney! Go tell Jade that her fladle uberbacken are ready!”**

**“But Mother, what about my apfelpfannkuchen?”**